You wouldn't download a house

Gmail puts emails from YouTube into spam, Google Chrome blocks pop ups from Google Drive

10/10 compatibility across products _/\_

1. Search on google for an answer
2. Find someone asking the same question on some forum
3. See the question has an answer
4. The answer is "Please search yourself before asking. Thread locked."

This happens too often..

Coworker: "Have you heard of imposter syndrome?"

Me: "In your case it's just called incompetence"

Chuck Norris does not rant... But his code does, indeed.

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

Wear a pink glitter dress, choose the light theme of the IDE and be still taken seriously as a dev - then you truly mastered your art!

Does anybody know how to close this bottle? I can't figure it out.

I thought I was never going to be anything in life because there was nothing that I was good at. Then I started "web school" and it just clicked. I was good at it and I understood it. Finished with an A :) now I love my job as a front-end developer.

Hats off to this lady .... I would have just flipped the machine

When your boss is a weeb and is always watching anime or trying to convince you to watch it while you're working. Smh.

We need to debug a HUGE legacy code project so...

😂😂😋

I made this amazing website. You guys should take a look at it. http://localhost:8080

I recently got a folded piece of paper from a young lady. I asked her if we want to meet again, but she only said "Open the folded piece of paper at home. ". At home i opened the fpop and it said "015772549658 <3".

Dammit i knew that she didnt want to meet again.

6 hours, with non developers, to decide on the font size of a website. Had to listen to 6 hours of pseudo psychological bullshit about how a 16pt thin Helvetica or something made people "feel".

And I'm a backend dev... I haven't written a line of css in two years... I only interact with the website through functional tests.

Just started my Android development internship. Atleast now I don't feel like a worthless piece of shit who wastes the whole day.

I sang in front of the clients to demo an app for 30 seconds. It's a dating app that allow users to sing and record a song and send it to other person. It's a famous way of courting here in the Philippines.

That was my ridicolous and embarrassing meeting ever. Hahahaha

Oddly true

Remembering last year tweet...
https://twitter.com/ajlobster/...

I hope you will forgive me for a third hand story, but I'm one of those evil developers, not a support per se. But I thought you'd enjoy this story anyway. So this happened to a colleague of a colleague:

$Hero - our hero. $Cop - A representative of our hard worked law enforcement agency.

So $Hero is happily speeding along in his car, running a few yellow lights a bit late, etc. Finally, the law catches up to him and pulls him over. Here's how the conversation went:

$Cop: Can I see your driving license, please?

$Hero (with smug grin): Certainly. Here it is, officer.

$Cop takes license back to motorcycle and speaks into radio.

$Hero: It's not going to help you any, though.

$Cop (with no reaction): What do you mean?

$Hero (with wider grin): The server you have to check it against is down.

$Cop (still no reaction): And why do you say that?

$Hero: Because I'm the guy they called to get on site and get it up again.

Our hero did not get a fine this time. Instead he got a police escort to his workplace.

Source: reddit r/talesfromtechsupport

Man, that's a pretty serious SQL warning..

So Mozilla let's you download old version of Firefox for people like me who update then find none of their extensions work. But Firefox comes with auto updates by default so it just fucking updates anyway to the new version and everything fucking breaks. Fuck you Mozilla.

Hi guys, here you are a link to a spotify list named devRant, it´s colaborative, right now it´s empty so we can full it of songs that make coding ez.

https://open.spotify.com/user/...

- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..

Linus is savage guys!
Apparently, he doesn't approve of GNU style coding
Source: kernel.org

Best Code EVER!

This is my worst day ever! I so fucking hate the sh**t gitkraken right now! Its always slow and buggy i got it and i accept it but its a lyer!

I wanted to reinstall my pc (linux mint) and before i started i pushed my feature repository to github. The gitkraken shows me its fine i pushed cool down bro. I reinstaled then i see... the f**ing repo is not in the f**ing github.

Right now i have to up all f**ing night, i so pissed off!! I'm new in my company, they hired me because i have a lot of experience on javascript and now, the fucking gitkraken destroyed my entire work.

Okay i know, its my fault to because i not pushed my repo early, but come on!!

Thank you gitkraken! Thank you! I will never use this lyer, slow, buggy piece shit again!!

As a developer you're expected to perform all sorts of tasks that don't necessarily involve any coding or development at all. "A web form in Drupal? Uhm, it's got something to do with the web, right? Yeah, let's dump it on 'IT'."
So now I've been given this most frustrating task to use some form engine in Drupal. I have no access to the PHP code itself, and I don't even know what this form engine is called. All I know it's the crappiest of crap. The more I use it the more I hate it.