Fri-damn-day is here in next 4 hours, prototype is to be delivered before 5 pm, 3 big core functionalities are yet to be made , all code is hanging by the null checks due to leaking firebase callbacks and all comes down to this intern who has been giving 19 hours every day to this project for last full week.

Well, bring it on!! I am about to gloriously fail (unless i code some miraculous code that i don't even know how), but i have never been this much motivated to work or received this much support by seniors ;)

R u sick

For anyone who hasn't seen the Hacktoberfest T-Shirt yet!

Me: Did you send that email to the client?
Other guy: No, I haven't. But you can send it, but you can send it, use teamviewer and send it from my email client

Makes sense.

what the FUCK?

npm install

Everytime

windows update code

function update(){
print("10%");
print("30%");
print("50%");
print("99%");
_doActualUpdate();
_mineBitcoin();
print("100%");
return;
}

- Her : How’s your life going?

- Me :

*accidentally clicks Visual Studio Code icon*

FUCK

stairs which is started from zero :D

Every time when I have nothing to do...

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

>Do you speak Latin?
>Yes ofc
>Wow! Tell me something in Latin
>"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet...."
> :O

*client calls*
"hello, we forgot the password to our WiFi router. Could you reset that for us?"

😐😶😮😅

"We host websites and servers sir, we don't control your router :)"

"Right, i thought so, nevermind!"

Well, that's a new one O.o

Found this shop while taking a holiday in Mallorca.

I get 20kb - 500kb - 1MB per second at my house on ethernet
School wifi - 20+MB/s
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Git blame strikes again

Hmm... Can someone help me find the "please wait" key?

A super creepy webcrawler I built with a friend in Haskell. It uses social media, various reverse image searches from images and strategically picked video/gif frames, image EXIF data, user names, location data, etc to cross reference everything there is to know about someone. It builds weighted graphs in a database over time, trying to verify information through multiple pathways — although most searches are completed in seconds.

I originally built it for two reasons: Manager walks into the office for a meeting, and during the meeting I could ask him how his ski holiday with his wife and kids was, or casually mention how much I would like to learn his favorite hobby.

The other reason was porn of course.

I put further development in the freezer because it's already too creepy. I'd run it on some porn gif, and after a long search it had built a graph pointing to a residence in rural Russia with pictures of a local volleyball club.

To imagine that intelligence agencies probably have much better gathering tools is so insane to think about.

The worst kind of timeout.

Help me.

UPDATE: I have my dream job.

About a year ago I commented on Devrant that I was having some hard luck interviewing for development jobs.
Shortly after my post I decided to lower my expectations and took a job at a tech support call center.(3 month contract)
After getting a little experience(Not just a degree) I was able to land a hardware support job at a fortune 500 company.(Not what a programmer really wants 😂)
I worked hard and started writing tools at home to help with the job. I started giving them out to the other techs and put them on a little internal website for easy access.
About 3 months ago I just became a software engineer within the company.(after 6 months of hardware repair.) The main reason I got the job was because I showed them how much overtime and extra work I had done and that the techs relied on my software to do there jobs and that I was dependable.

It was hard work but it was worth it. And I built software that I never would have done if I hadn't taken this "lower job"

So keep your chin up and your fingers on the keys, I was in your shoes a year ago. 😉

I think rather than go clubbing again tonight, I may just stay in and mess around with Linux in an old desktop or play with python a bit...

And have some vodka.

Today I broke a record 🎉

..in the production database 😅

Whenever I find a good github project I go straight for the "utils" folder to see if I can steal anything useful

Rails is a shady framework

Happy wife, happy life.

Happy dev, no backdoors.

WHAT FUCKING PAYMENT PROVIDER SENDS ALL THEIR TECHNICAL STAFF ON VACATION?!?!?

Leaving customer service to tell me to "wait until they get back... In three weeks"

Unbelievable, I'm actually thinking there are laws and regulations about this if you are providing money handling services, but the sheer stupidity in itself!!

Ideal Dev job would just be having a job first!!! :p