About23yr old male software developer in Alberta, Canada. A bit of a new tea leaf in the field, but still manages to find the worst companies to work for. Mastery of sarcastic replies.
SkillsC#, JS, SQL or whatever
Joined devRant on 8/20/2019
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Compare and harmonize the web configs
Oh no someone set execution timeouts to 14 days
Fuck fuck fuckity duck
Hey compare all the web configs of all environments and harmonize them all wtf cmon bruh do your job as a developer
Take them and back them up into svn. What do you mean svn isn't a back up system of course it is well its the only thing we have fuck
What do you mean we have shit logging where people will catch an exception and only print the word exception in the log you can figure it out can't you we have live produxtion issues that hace to be solved now what the fuck
How dare you make a. Mistake copying our shitload of a bloated codebase and configuring our 100s of different options all by fukcing hand what the fuck dude do yoh write anyrhing down?
Please catalogue all the exception mails we are getting but we have no db or error reporting system so they all just plop into tue inbox and thats all ypur fuckjng data figure it out kid
This is a rewarding, fulfilling job whwrw you can be both dev ops and a developer and manage all of our fucking environments of which there are about 15 of all your own with no sort of tool or software to aid you because haha what the fuck we wouldn't make your life easy
Whata that you want to spend time to write stuff or change stuff that will nake it easier fot you fuxk that bruh get back to your biklable tasks like holy shit you thjnk this is a charity ofr aomw shit
Live production issues
Live production issues
Produxtion issues. A ghost in the machine. Find it fix if find it fix it find it fix it cmon why can't you fix it I expect you to spend your day hopelessly pretending to try to solve something you fucker
One of the only peopel able to help you sometimes though hes a bit of an old laxky, yeah hea fucking leaving see ya seeya kid and now we're not hirinf anyone to fuckjng help you no no no managing and monitoring the environments its your jov alll fof them every sngle on do you knkw all the xonfiguraiton values for them yet??
Instead we are hiring a new sales person to fucking make us some more money and we don't need naother seceloper to help you infqct lets have you use this mid end retail computer from 2014 to develop on yeah yeah oh but all our shitty code and visual studip will destry your memory but too bad!! Hahahahahdhsj
Go lice is all you, why sare you so slow
How long will it take
How long will it take
How long will it take
How long witll it tqk2
How long will it take holy shit
Give time estimate for sonethign that I don't fucking know how about it will tqke till fuxk you oxloxk4
Nobody with more then 10 brain cells would look at this and go, "yeah, that looks like good design!"12
Man, we have a snake in our company.
This snake is responsible for terrible code. They oversee a offshore team, but hold them to no coding practices. They don't do code reviews or checks. They let them be lazy and get away with sloppy work every time.
And if you critize their team - they will defend them and get angry at you. You can't adress the problem because said snake is always around. He's in a senior position for giving our company cheap workers, doing years of damage to our product while the non-code savvy managers remain blissfully unaware of their product being ruined in the background.
This snake is the senior product office. He has a share in the company now. He is from the overshore team's country. That team now has their claws so dug into our companies roots and are just pumping lsd's into it constantly. Feels good untill you die from an overdose.
Here I am, the new junior software developer, trying to tear out the claws that have sunk into these roots. Im up against the snake. The snake hates me. I hate the snake. I am trying to open the eyes of the managers. They hate that. They want to silence me so I don't expose the awful, unprofessional level of work they do.
Well, that's too bad. I won't back down from this, snake.17
I mean where do I even begin
I am trying to fix up some really awful sloppy mistakes but since we only use svn and I don't have any sort of branch of my own I end up breaking other peoples builds while I try to fix their mistakes
And then I get yelled at and told to test the build somehow on their environment which is totally seperate to ours, and ensure there are no build problems
Even if said problems are svn conflicts they are apparently still my fault and evidence as failure on my part as a developer
I mean how do i even retort to that? Can I tell them to get stuffed, like seriously.. I have asked and checked in if there was any issues and they said nothing repeatedly
I have proposed the idea of a integration environment to test the commits of revisions and merging ect.
I got told off
For gods sakes2
Timesheets were made so that managers can be little dickbags and make a big fuss over the half an hour doing something that someone else asked you to do, instead of something they wanted you to do.
Its also a good way to force employees to become their own managers when you arn't giving them work, so you can have more time to sip tea while they scramble to find out how the fuck they will get their hours for this week with no direction being given1
Me: Working on trying to salvage our shitty project
PM: EMAILS ARN'T BEING SENT FOR OUR TEST ENVIRONMENTS
Me: Ohkay.. Is it urgent? I fixed it last time.. Seems like the other devs broke it.
PM: YES WE NEED TO PASS ALL OUR TEST CASES ASAP
Me: Well maybe it should be failed if it keeps breaking all the time..
PM: SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH WHAT YOU CHECKED AND OVERNIGHT YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT WITH OUR TERRIBLE OFFSHORE TEAM
Me: uhm... Ok
All i want to do is write code. Give me time, space, and stop bothering me so often and I can fix the shitty outsourced code. I can do it, really. I can write a ton of resdesign docs and improve so much shit. But I can't do ANY OF IT BECAUSE THESE FUCKS ARE ALWAYS PAWNING OFF WORK ONTO ME AND REFUSING TO LET ME GET MY HANDS DIRTY.
Stop asking me to email people. Stop asking me to update documentation that isn't for my features. Stop bothering me. Stop. Fucking. Bothering. Me. All. The. Goddamn. Damn.
Stop it stop it stop it fucking stop. I don't care about the PM's dumbfuck braindead statements and always wanting to pick a fight with me. I don't care that x environment is down. I don't care that your shitty overseas programmers can't tell their own ass from their head. I do care that I have the skills to fix it if you would give me the fucking time and space.
Instead of having me do all the mundane tasks that your shitty ape programmers could do overseas, let me have some fucking room to breath and I can fix this shitty fuck of a project and Maybe I can save it before it collapses on itself you dumb fucks
Holy shit im pissy today4
Are we sure reading this isn't going to have an effect on my eyes..? Or in that fact, on my mental health??
Like does anyone think to themselves, "I wouldn't want to read that," and actually change it so the next person isn't going to want to do a table flip meme style and walk out the door?
At least add spaces between your lines so my eyes don't bleed out...5
Someone at work deleted my test environment's databases.
What. The. Fuck.
If its not yours, don't fucking touch it.2
The company I work for...
1. No CI/CD
2. SVN instead of GIT
3. Outsourcing to India (oof)
4. No Automated Testing
5. Uses Bugnet (ancient, outdated)
6. No clearly defined code standards
7. No real documentation on the code
8. Rubbish code
9. No desire to reduce technical debt
10. Poorly maintained DB
11. Poor outdated equipment
12. A useless PM
13. Still priotizes IE support (??)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how fucked is this company and anything they develop?43
Being paid as a 'junior software developer' at the average salary for that with all these responsibilities
That's a funny joke13
The PM is trying to dump the responsibility of change management onto me
What the absolute fuck im your developer and you want me to spend my time filling in data on spreadsheet? Everytime I update an environment I send out emails by fucking hand already because ya'll to cheap for change management software, fill your own damn spreadsheet. You know, do management, your job?
For fucks sakes3
Me: Making me work 17 hours without a 8 hour break is illegal.
Manager: You just sit at a damn desk all day and long shifts are required of IT
???????? Do you really think I just sit at my desk twaddling my thumbs?15
So the issue is that if you refresh the page the method that saves the data is triggered again and it retrieves over data from the controls to overwrite the new data you just saved
My senior developer told me the solution was to impliment ajax on that page...
What the fuck? That doesn't stop the method from being triggered when you hit the refresh button on the browser1
So for one of our applications we have this custom made build system with no real documentation made by someone who left the company and uses old tech with 2010 visual studio files
And despite never having had a chance to work with it before, im not only expected by the PM and other staff to use this command line build too to make a build for production; but also to add a whole new application to be built.
Omg click once applications are such a royal fucking pain in my ass.
Everything has to be code signed and every manifest much match and if you change anything you better hope to the gods you can use mage and resign that shit and that it will work
Can we just like, stop using it thank you god I hate it2
Work: work late till 1 am
Also work: come in at 7 am
Also work again: why arn't you getting anything done2
Timesheets, timesheets, timesheets. Business bureaucracy. Stuff like this is just a way to prevent any real work from actually getting done.
I know im being unreasonable but fuck that noise.3
The feels when your senior developer is telling you that you don't need a debug version of your application that is kept up to date for you to work on.
The feels when he then tells you that you should find the problem in the code it, fix it and commit, and wait for someone else to run it and see if it works. And if not, repeat.
My senior developer wants me to blind commit fixes without even checking if they do shit.
Pinch me please.1
My boss keeps telling people to make sure to write stuff down during meetings. I feel like im in school.
Furthermore shes making our testers read application traces. And making me email it to them every time they want it because they don't have acess to our system.6
I think I want to quit my first applicantion developer job 6 months in because of just how bad the code and deployment and.. Just everything, is.
I'm a C#/.net developer. Currently I'm working on some asp.net and sql stuff for this company.
We have no code standards. Our project manager is somewhere between useless and determinental. Our clients are unreasonable (its the government, so im a bit stifled on what I can say.) and expect absurd things from us. We have 0 automated tests and before I arrived all our infrastructure wasn't correct to our documentation... And we barely had any documentation to begin with.
The code is another horror story. It's out sourced C# asp.net, js and SQL code.. And to very bad programmers in India, no offense to the good ones, I know you exist. Its all spagheti. And half of it isn't spelled correctly.
It's... God awful. The result of a billion and one quick fixes that nobody documented. The configuration alone has to have the same value put multiple times. And now our senior developer is getting the outsourced department to work on moving every SINGLE NORMAL STRING INTO THE DATABASE. That's right. Rather then putting them into some local resource file or anything sane, our website will now be drawing every single standard string from the database. Our SENIOR DEVELOPER thinks this is a good idea. I don't need to go into detail about how slow this is. Want to do it on boot? Fine. But they do it every time the page loads. It's absurd.
Our sql database design is an absolute atrocity. You have to join several tables together just to get anything done. Half of our SP's are failing all the time because nobody really understands the design. Its gloriously awful its like.. The epitome of failed database designs.
But rather then taking a step back and dealing with all the issues, we keep adding new features and other ones get left in the dust. Hell, we don't even have complete browser support yet. There were things on the website that were still running SILVERLIGHT. In 2019. I don't even know how to feel about it.
I brought up our insane technical debt to our PM who told me that we don't have time to worry about things like technical debt. They also wouldn't spend the time to teach me anything, saying they would rather outsource everything then take the time to teach me. So i did. I learned a huge chunk of it myself.
But calling this a developer job was a sick, twisted joke. All our lives revolve around bugnet. Our work is our BN's. So every issue the client emails about becomes BN's. I haven't developed anything. All I've done is clean up others mess.
Except for the one time they did have me develop something. And I did it right and took my time. And then they told me it took too long, forced me to release before it was ready, even though I had never worked on what I was doing before. And it worked. I did it.
They then told me it likely wouldn't even be used anyway. I wasn't very happy at all.
I then discovered quickly the horrors of wanting to make changes on production. In order to make changes to it, we have to... Get this
Write a huge document explaining why. Not to our management. To the customer. The customer wants us to 'request' to fix our application.
I feel like I am literally against a wall. A huge massive wall. I can't get constent from my PM to fix the shitty code they have as a result of outsourcing. I can't make changes without the customer asking why I would work on something that doesn't add something new for them. And I can't ask for any sort of help, and half of the people I have to ask help from don't even speak english very well so it makes it double hard to understand anything.
But what can I do? If I leave my job it leaves a lasting stain on my record that I am unsure if I can shake off.
... Well, thats my tl;dr rant. Im a junior, so maybe idk what the hell im talking about.17