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note: Not the worst dev I've interviewed but worst I've worked with.
A guy who worked in my company before me "HARDCODED" the entire calendar for next 10 years starting 2016 in dictionaries and arrays in Python for a project.13 -
How do mobile sites know when I'm about to tap a link, and then load something and shift everything so that I tap the wrong link?9
-
Boss: I need to know how much resources a server would need to serve 20000 users at the same time
Me: Sure, can I see the webapp?
B: There's not one yet
M: Ok, can I see its documentation then?
B: There is none
M: But ot depends on the programming language, libraries used, what kin-
B: It's an e-commerce. Try browsing Amazon and see how much they nees to handle the page requests.
Me: *still processing* wh-
Boss: I have to give an estimate to a client within 30 minutes. Hurry.
So.... Uh... I guess i have to hack Amazon now?7 -
After it was revealed that the Equifax hack was even bigger yet again, the US government said something that really made me say/think something in the trend of "WHAT the actual FUCK?!"
"This data is in the hands of cyber criminals anyways".
You run the biggest mass surveillance program in the world, sucking up more than a million terabytes every hour, then at least could you PRETEND to care/take interest when the personal data of about all your citizens appears on the Internet?!
Fucking hell.11 -
So a group of 'researchers' (you'll get later why I call them 'researchers') conducted research to find the most secure browser.
Their result is Google Chrome!
Few minor details:
- THE WHOLE FUCKING RESEARCH THINGY WAS (mostly?) SPONSORED BY GOOGLE.
- THEY COMPARED IT MOSTLY TO INTERNET FUCKING EXPLORER AND EDGE.
Are they fucking retarded or something?! Yeah if it's going to go like that, Google Chrome will certainly become the winner/number 1.
Mother of fucking god.66 -
*on the phone with a client*
Important detail: in Dutch we call a colon a "double point" and a semicolon a "point comma".
Me: go to {url} and put double point followed by {something} behind it.
Client: *tries for 5 minutes, suggestions forth and back*
Me: how did you type the double points?
Client: I typed two points. (..)
The level of retardness I thought existed got worse once again.
At that moment the open window seemed like a veeery good option 😭15 -
Reinstalled my dedicated server and realized (afterwards) that I just erased my entire openvpn/mysql auth setup and I don't have an entirely working copy.
FUCK.
Okay, nothing I can do about that afterwards, setup csf right away, monitored the auth log for a minute and noticed one ip which had just connected and found it weird somehow. Blocked the ip.
Then, one second later, as my console stopped responding and that ip address suddenly looked veeeery familiar, I realized I just blocked myself. (the blocks persist across reboots)
😐
Went to the control panel and hit the reinstall button. Confirmed, and two seconds later I realized I could just have connected to any of my own fucking vpn services to unblock myself.
What in the living fuck is wrong with me @_@31 -
Student walks into tutoring center halfway through the semester for a computer science appointment and their first question is "How do I declare an int?"
Me: 😐8 -
Friend: "Don't all computer science people learn multiple languages so they can use the right one for the job?"
My reply:
We learn multiple languages because some asshat before us had a hard-on for it and now we need to keep that shit running and we don't have time to rewrite it.6 -
Co-worker Pranks #281: Write a program to capture keyboard input and instead output "fucking" after every "the" they type.
i.e. Can you push the fucking most recent commits
Do you want the fucking paperwork today, bossman
I can't do that today, the fucking coffee machine is not working7 -
So today , a company phoned me for a job I applied in Jobstreet. So the conversation goes like this.
Com " Do you have any experience in Android studio? "
Me : " Yes . I develop android application, it is compulsory to know actually."
Com :" ok... Do you have experience android SDK?"
Me : " I believe you are referring to the Android studio, yes."
Com :" do you have experience in Android programming"?
Me :" Yes. I do android application for both native and hybrid. As for hybrid, I use flutter."
Com :" Ok...but I was asking about android."
Me :*explaining what I just said *
Com: " you no understand! We need android programmer! Not native or flutter programmer!"
Me *explaining what native and hybrid is (in simple terms)
Com : " it is ok then.. our company prefer those who can develop android app , not native programmer or anything flutter programmer.
"
(Btw , I transcript how exactly that person talk to me)
My question to this person is.... WHAT THE F*** IS THIS? WANT AN ANDROID DEVELOPER BUT NOT NATIVE OR "FLUTTER"? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN ? IF ANDROID IS NOT WRITTEN IN NATIVE OR HYBRID THEN WHAT YOU EXPECT ME TO USE THEN? USING ASSEMBLY X64?15 -
So Facebook announced a New Feature which lets you upload nudes which get hashed and on a Blacklist so they can't be uploaded to facebook. And in Order to prevent abuse, a human Reviews the pictures. Genius idea20
-
Business logic in the fricking database.
1000+ line SQL stored procedures.
What the actual fuck?! 👿10 -
"I need you to teach me how to code, so people can't fool me around when they start to speak about apps"
-My boss6 -
I fried my laptop's lithium-ion battery by overheating it too much when gaming for 1.5 years now. Was only getting 20 minutes on a charge. Bought a replacement battery to install.
My laptop is full-body aluminum, and when removing the difficult-to-remove backplate, I sliced my thumb deeply on the razor-sharp internal edge of the backplate.
Hurt like hell. Took a while to get the bleeding to stop. I had to finish what I started, so I swore I'll be careful the rest of the time.
Yet somehow, my hand eventually slipped and I ended up slicing my OTHER thumb, on the exact same component! And the gash was even deeper and hurt even more! And took 3x as long to stop bleeding! I lost so much blood... 😫
Moral of the story: Be careful when dealing with full-body aluminum laptops. They're fucking evil and dangerous. Also, don't let your laptop reach temps above 82-85 degrees Celsius.
Thankfully, no tetanus from any of this. 😓
25 -
Just found out that the generic router that our ISP gave us, which we use at work, has a port you can telnet into to get shell access with root privileges.
12 -
Following a conversation with a fellow devRanter this came to my mind ago, happened a year or two ago I think.
Was searching for an online note taking app which also provided open source end to end encryption.
After searching for a while I found something that looked alright (do not remember the URL/site too badly). They used pretty good open source JS crypto libraries so it seemed very good!
Then I noticed that the site itself did NOT ran SSL (putting the https:// in front of the site name resulted in site not found or something similar).
Went to the Q/A section because that's really weird.
Saw the answer to that question:
"Since the notes are end to end encrypted client side anyways, we don't see the point in adding SSL. It's secure enough this way".
😵
I emailed them right away explaing that any party inbetween their server(s) and the browser could do anything with the request (includingt the cryptographic JS code) so they should start going onto SSL very very fast.
Too badly I never received a reply.
People, if you ever work with client side crypto, ALWAYS use SSL. Also with valid certs!
The NSA for example has this thing known as the 'Quantum Insert' attack which they can deploy worldwide which basically is an attack where they detect requests being made to servers and reply quickly with their own version of that code which is very probably backdoored.
This attack cannot be performed if you use SSL! (of course only if they don't have your private keys but lets assume that for now)
Luckily Fox-IT (formerly Dutch cyber security company) wrote a Snort (Intrustion Detection System) module for detecting this attack.
Anyways, Always use SSL if you do anything at all with crypto/sensitive data! Actually, always use it but at the very LEAST really do it when you process the mentioned above!31 -
And the award for the most ridiculous article in tech goes to...
http://m.thehindubusinessline.com/i...
This article is an interview of the CEO of one of the biggest companies in India
15 -
Was thinking of a name for my currently biggest project and thought of a funny one, took the first letter of each word and started to use that to refer to the project, was thinking about domain names and such already etc.
Just wrote it down and I suddenly noticed:
ONE OF THE LETTERS IN THE SHORTCUT ISN'T CORRECT.
How the fuck did I miss that for fucking weeks?! It's not like it's a difficult sentence/set of words or anything.
I'm so fucking glad I didn't register domains or shit yet.
How. In. The. Living. Hell.12 -
Me: Great iOS app is only 20MB shouldn't take long to upload!
XCode laughed
AppLoader laughed
Apple laughed
I cried T_T7 -
I now know another person's password without even wanting to.
He was sitting in the row in front of me, logging into our course page and then *brrrrraaaaapppp* - ran his index finger along the top number row and hit enter.
1234567890
I don't even know what to say.13 -
> le server suddenly stops working, no boot, no POST, no beeps, no video
*le frantic cursing on how perhaps that's why the fucking thing was only €60 🤬*
*takes out RAM*
> le server still not booting
*places RAM back without doing anything else*
> le server boots up again
🤔🤔🤔
Is this what they mean with things like "compile it again and somehow the compiler will not complain anymore after a while"?17 -
In my current work, I have two systems to work on (let's name em Systems A and B). Both basically do the same thing; both allow users to book facilities available to them.
System A is already in production. My job is to fix any bugs that come up on said system. System B is an improved version that they wanted me to develop. This would follow a different framework etc. I am already halfway through this system.
Now, here's the fucked up part. The code for system A is a massive clusterfuck. It has unused commented code dated back to ancient times where men had the brain of an ape.
And don't get me started on the fucking logic. One part of the code was to retrieve and display the timeslots available for a chosen facility. The code to do that alone takes up 500++ fucking lines, filled with ajax commands, html manipulation and commented, unused codes..AND THAT'S JUST THE FRONTEND!
The fucking backend was not a problem of smelly code anymore. Nope. It was like a programmer had code diarrhea and shat his backend code all over the project. If I had a pin board, I would have made a crazy wall just to understand what some fucknut was trying to achieve.
Anyway, my supervisor told me to fix some bugs on System A. Knowing how the code was, I told her that I could refactor the code. Since I've already achieved that function on System B, with a shorter and cleaner code, I could just copy that and use on System A. But nope. She SPECIFICALLY told me to just "do whatever to fix the bugs. I don't want to waste time on System A." Okay. Makes sense to me. Whatever. I didn't wanna fuck my head up looking through that mess of a cesspool. So, I came up with a few hacks, not thinking of clean code and fixed whatever bugs there was. I then just pushed to the repo (after testing of course).
This bloody morning, supervisor came in and gave me more bugs to fix. When I thought she was done, she said "Hey. I saw the fix you made to the system. The bugs are fixed but the retrieval of the timeslots is now pretty slow. Could you see what is the problem?"
Slow.. She said that it was slow. And asked if I could fix it. I already told her what the problem was and she did not want me to waste time on it. But she wants me to fix it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IN HER BLOODY HEAD! I SWEAR TO GOD... UGHHHHH I swear I was already waterboarding her in my head. YOU WANT FAST?? How bout fucking allowing me to refactor the code?? Fucking shit head. I think I should take up yoga.1 -
This fucker right here. Two pages under the same site return different session data:
Session cookie is the same.
The session file itself doesn't change.
Same machine is being used.
I don't change the session variables at any moment.
HOW?!9 -
Google! What the fuck are you doing with your design?!
Just updated my chromebook and what the fuck is this ui!
20 -
Just added Kotlin plugin to my new android project and what do you know, CPU went to 100% of usage.
Aaand the winner is: Fucking Android Studio!
19 -
A temporary replacement teacher came in today, she is so fucking dumb omfg, I am literally shakeing, this pic will tell you everything.
15 -
Working in company where part of team is located in Austria and these morons write evrything in fucking german, method names, comments and even the parameters which are sent to fronted. Like it isn't enough they even use special characters like ß,ü,ä and ö everywhere12
-
Got a marketing email talking about the "No Code" revolution. They're talking to the wrong girl here.
16 -
Our PM is on vacation. And our CTO/CEO takes control of the PM role.
So today he decided it was time to just start a customer change request. Regardless of the customer not having approved the actual solution and estimate.
He just said that he did not want to waste any more time talking to the customer. Now they are gonna get what ever he thinks they want.
I predict this to backfire in a fabulous way. What could possible go wrong🤔4 -
Disclaimer: searching for a self hosted Spotify alternative but haven't found one yet so suggestions are very welcome!
I really don't get how spotify's music algorithms or whatever the fuck you'd call those (you get what I mean) work.
- Whenever I click on the button which should make a song not appear in my daily mix anymore, I hear it again within a fucking day.
- how the fuck does the getting you new songs which you might like work?! I'm a huge rawstyle fan and mostly listen to, surprise surprise, rawstyle.
Then why in the living fuck keeps Spotify coming up with euphoric/melodic hardstyle tracks?! I like those sometimes but only *sometimes*.
More and more often I have to skip through 20-30+ songs to get one raw song instead of a fucking euphoric one.
Replies from their support are non existent.
It's getting so fucking annoying.21 -
Okay, so I was helping an elderly woman with her laptop + internet today (with payment). Problem: Laptop connects to WiFi, shows internet connection, but you couldn't even go to google.com.
The router wasn't the issue as my phone worked on the same WiFi. After a lot of troubleshooting steps, I noticed that Windows forced IPV6 for all WiFi connections for some reason. The router doesn't even support IPV6... So I disabled it and everything started working again.
WHY THE FUCK DID WINDOWS NOT TRY TO LOOKUP A IPV4 ADDRESS IF THE IPV6 FAILS? BOTH WERE ENABLED! WHO AT THE FUCKING WINDOWS 10 DEVELOPMENT TEAM THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA?19 -
Tutorials on the Internet.
They say you have to enter a 12 Character long hexadecimal number.
AND THEN THEY PUT A "G" IN THERE?
WHAT? ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?3 -
The superhuman feeling of going back to your code after a week and it all makes perfect sense, the variable names are intuitive, the doc strings are comprehensive, and the general codebase structure is sensible.2
-
Jingle fuck, jingle fuck,
Jingle fuck away.
Oh what fun it is to hear
silence on the Christmas day.3 -
" this page uses cookies"
"We've updated our privacy policy"
*30 sec full screen ad* OR "please turn off your adblocker and refresh"
"Would you like to take a survey?"
"Click to read more"
"You've reached your free articles for the month. Please subscribe!"
Jesus fucking Christ! Is it such a sin to read articles in peace? How does anybody use your shitty site. How does anybody PAY for your shitty site?! Fuck your articles. Why do companies think this is a good model?!5 -
YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS!
Are you fucking serious? How it is possible that you, being a fucking teacher in a PRIVATE UNI, AREN'T ABLE TO FUCKING DEPLOY A .NET CORE WEB PAGE EVEN THOUGH I FUCKING WROTE YOU A PDF, LINKED TO MS DOCUMENTATION AND EVEN WENT TO TELL YOU HOW TO DO IT?
You fucking prick, and now you argue to your superiors that we aren't doing our job as expected... seriously? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID SERIOUS?
I hope you choke on the turkey this christmas, you ignorant incompetent cheap slut... ha, you're not even cheap, because parents are paying THE SCHOOL to provide them with "supposed" better infrastructure, education than a public one, BUT YOU COME TO TELL ME I MUST CODE YOUR ANCIENT PAGE IN FUCKING ASPX WITH DOCUMENTATION DATED 4 YEARS AGO?
Yeez... seriously dude, level up or GTFO.14 -
Me : *writes a clean class to write logs into event viewer with different categories, and useful information for debug*
Boss: “I’m not a developer but I think that’s useless, just create a log table on a sql server and put everything there.”
I’m asking myself what keeps me here. What, the holy Christ’s butthole fuck, keeps me fucking glued to this chair.8 -
Assigned to a new project team..
Using git, in a creative way. So.. "master" is "dev" branch, usually. Everyone can push their branch to dev server .. so it's "dynamic for us". Production branch is whatever, as long as the branch has the release version. Sometimes, the release comes from "master".. that mean "dev" in normal geek..
That's just Git. The source code is a saturated spagetti of Entity framework and Caliburn. It is littered with antipatterns, especially basebean. Holy Christmas and Easter that baseclass do a lot of stuff that has no place as a base class ..
Fucking frameworks, I'm gonna start to evangelize frameworks as the no1 antipattern.
MS SQL as the main DB, but is dumped to json FILES through a scheduled task to increase read performance on web.
There is a soap endpoint to expose the json files, fml..
I am assuming I was placed here to improve stuff, I have never in my life seen anything like this before.
There is a special place in hell for this repository7 -
The FCC Chairman is going ahead with his plan to repeal net neutrality despite objections from fellow commissioners, the CTO, more than a hundred members of Congress, senators and of course, the people.
What the fuck is wrong with this guy? How far up your own fucking ass does your head have to be to ignore basically everyone's vote against you? What the fuck. This guy is a really piece of fucking work. I hope this bounces back to bite him in the ass real hard.27 -
GUYS I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE:
Apparently Windows Explorer is an internet browser and a lot of websites only work on it
I fucking hate this dude, he CLEARLY doesn't know what he's talking about9 -
StackOverflow in a nutshell
This gets me so angry; Two identical answers, one downvoted into oblivion and the other one upvoted like it is a holy grail.
6 -
FUCK YOU TUMBLR! I SPEND THE LAST 10 MINUTES UNCHECKING EVERY FUCKING THING AND YOU DON'T ALLOW ME TO TOUCH THE LAST ONE!?
Why is there no uncheck all- button 😤😭
18 -
Fuck.
Fuck this shit
Fuck. What the hell is this?
What the fuck????
Fuck this place.
How the hell is it even possible??
Fuck all. M leaving.
.
.
.
.
A snapshot of my workday nowadays.8 -
Fun drinking game: work on a legacy system for a few hours. Every time you say "what the fuck?" equals 1 shot.5
-
class Fraction {
public double dValue;
int numerator;
int denom;
...
public UpdateDouble()
{
dValue = numerator/denom;
}
...
}2 -
at a previous job at a shit company ran by bible-thumpers, i was rebuilding the company website for my a-hole boss. I asked him where I should get images from- if there was a stock photo site he preferred or what.
"Just pull them off Google. That's what I do."
Later when I was combing through the site, I saw he'd added images that CLEARLY STATE another COMPANY'S NAME in the image themselves. Nothing like promoting another company on your OWN company website, huh?
(And no, their company name is not ActiveMobi.)
They're still there, 3+ years later. Dumb ass.
2 -
Someone once told me that 32-bit operating systems were better than 64-bit ones because the pointers are half the size.
*confused thinking face*16 -
!dev
So I've just been evicted, apparently the house I have a room in is being repossessed.
Now living in a tin hut in the middle of a field. Loving life, life loving me.9 -
Was just told by a guy in my class proudly, “yeah, I’m pretty good at typing. It comes in handy for when I code stuff in class.” Awesome, that’s cool. I ask what he’s doing in the class. “We learned Scratch last semester and now we’re starting Java.” -______-6
-
Finally finished the screwdriver followup ticket. I think.
I spent almost two full days (14 hours) on a seemingly simple bug on Friday, and then another four hours yesterday. Worse yet: I can’t test this locally due to how Apple notifications work, so I can only debug this on one particular server that lives outside of our VPN — which is ofc in high demand. And the servers are unreliable, often have incorrect configuration, missing data, random 504s, and ssh likes to disconnect. Especially while running setup scripts, hence the above. So it’s difficult to know if things are failing because there’s a bug or the server is just a piece of shit, or just doesn’t like you that day.
But the worst fucking part of all? The bug appeared different on Monday than it did on Friday. Like, significantly different.
On Friday, a particular event killed all notifications for all subsequent events thereafter, even unrelated ones, and nothing would cause them to work again. This had me diving through the bowels of several systems, scouring the application logs, replicating the issue across multiple devices, etc. I verified the exact same behavior several times over, and it made absolutely no sense. I wrote specs to verify the screwdriver code worked as expected, and it always did. But an integration test that used consumer-facing controller actions exhibited the behavior, so it wasn’t in my code.
On Monday while someone else was watching: That particular event killed all notifications but ONLY FOR RELATED EVENTS, AND THEY RESUMED AFTER ANOTHER EVENT. All other events and their notifications worked perfectly.
AKL;SJF;LSF
I think I fixed it — waiting on verification — and if it is indeed fixed, it was because two fucking push event records were treated as unique and silently failing to save, run callbacks, etc.
BUT THIS DOESN’T MATCH WHAT I VERIFIED MULTIPLE TIMES! ASDFJ;AKLSDF
I’m so fucking done with this bs.8 -
Okay, so I have a question...
Although unethical, I’m considering disabling a clients services without warning. They’re 6 months behind on paying me and I have complete access over their network infrastructure. Upon reading our contract, I’ve made the mistake of incorporating services will be discontinued due to lack of payment... But, I know if I disable things they’re not smart enough to figure out why they aren’t working and call me... That’s when I’ll tell them that I can’t preform work until past bills are paid in full.
I’m located somewhere in the US. Is this too unethical, too illegal? I just want my fucking money... Thanks!
EDIT: Yes I have invoiced then monthly. They’ve received them because I had deliver al invoices to avoid the “oh I never received it” claims.25 -
So I had to implement something which I didn't know as a part of my internship. What do you think I did?
15 hours worth video lectures in two days :x3 -
Conclusion for this week:
Arrrgggh I worked so fucking long...
Thanks EU, FUCK ARTICLE 13,
FUCK EU, FUCK POLITICIANS, FUCK ALL!
PYTHON WHY THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, HOW AND WHY?!??
FUCKFUCKFUCK
Have I missed something?6 -
"We should probably fix that security issue, but the application already works, so it does not matter" - My boss2
-
I have a developer job and being paid less than my uni classfellows who are in QA and support positions. Aren't developers supposed to be paid more?10
-
Not dev, but IT...
Just found out that one section of my place of work still uses floppy disks. No I’m not fucking kidding. The other sad part? We still have the outdated computers to read them. 😩😂
Please, send help or a job application...8 -
dude@milotic:~$ vncpasswd
Password:
Verify:
Password too long - only the first 8 characters will be used
WHAT1 -
Today I was working on a laptop. I needed to uninstall a program because i had to install the newest version of it. That process usually takes 2 hours, but 3 hours passed and the uninstall was still at 35%. I went on the task manager to see if I could figure out what is running on the laptop, that's when I saw this.... This laptop has been on for 314 days. This cannot be a normal thing to do on a laptop specially when running Windows. Why do this?
7 -
What was the most stupid thing interview ever do to you?
My side of story. He (interviewer, also a developer) try to convince me that JavaScript and Java are the same thing. Which we all know that is not...
He said "I can't hire someone who don't know basic of computer science , this is basic that JavaScript is from Java"
(Isn't ecmascript or something?)
Saying JavaScript is From Java is a wrong statement. There are differences between having a DICK and Being a DICK.5 -
THICK-HEADED FUCKNUTS!
I have absolutely no idea as to why these would ever be password requirements, can someone please try to explain WHY THE FUCK
5 -
was applying to college when i saw “enter social security number (optional)”
yes ok, i’d also love to give you my bank account information, address, and birth certificate. anything you need!!!18 -
I don't know if I should cry or laugh...
Our CMS is a CMS as a Service. So, our providers, for me they all suck, everytime they make a development, everything breaks.
Today's flash news?
Well, basically any page containing some user-made dynamic objects are **empty**
But not only on our site, on their whole network of clients that use their CMS. Everything is broken.
They release new features (I should call them bugs rather) every week, and yesterday's update concerned these pages.
And for the record, they don't test. They wait that we come back and complain to see if their shitty development worked or did not.
This CMS is even worse than your first project in HTML - I mean, your first word document on your mama's computer when you were 3.
Seriously. What kind of non-quality is this?8 -
!rant
Goodbye Java I will not miss you at all! I swear ...
I do like it when making web services (especially that I can use Java8) but for Android you have been a torture. Hello sweet Kotlin! I shall embrace you and treat you like my newly born baby!!
Story is:
Working on a new project where I need to talk to a web service (also made by me).
Started writing in Java, all is cool and unit tests pass.
Downloaded Android Studio 3 Beta 1 and converted my Java code to Kotlin, That AsyncTask did not look nice in kotlin, converted it to async & await feature and I must admit lots of code removed, no more need to create a new fucking AsyncTask every time the app sneezes for data!
I feel like I'm working with C# but with difference in syntax.
My life is now complete :)8 -
Now that the Phone has a custom rom with root, with only a little issue with some split screen nonsense I'm finally ready to use my phone like a normal ph- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS? WHERE THE HELL ARE MY BLOBS? WHAT THE FUUCK!?
Good thing that I rooted with Magisk and I could flash the blobs https://forum.xda-developers.com/ap...
9 -
Before solving the bug -
[•] 2 Errors 1 Warning
------------------------------------------
After solving the bug -
[•] 1043 Errors 7 Warnings
Fuck the what the fuck? 😵1 -
It's official, I don't remember jack about Windows anymore. I tried to install a Windows only emulator to try my hand at homebrew. And... this is the final result.
4 -
It’s great how HR tells you to report to work on your first day to your line manager, but also tells you to attend training in another country before you start working, BUT they don’t tell you when the training is, how stuff will be paid for, or how to contact anyone in the company to find this info out5
-
At work they assigned me to another project.
Now I need to work with JS instead of Java.
Plot twist: I have 0 experience with JS and about the same amount of knowledge.
GL to me5 -
Company has me giving interviews and today brought the second "Sr JavaScript Developer" that's gotten past multiple people that can't even construct a fucking "for" loop.
Get the fuck out of here... And those excuses at the end trying to explain your "industry experience" just annoy me further.
If I have to smile, thank, and shake another one of these fucktards hands, I'm gonna scream!11 -
Fuck Google , fuck Android and in particular fuck you PlayStore. What the fucking fuck. Wanted to dowload an App -> please free 120mb on the Phone. Did that. Proceeded to download the App. 2.02mb
How the fuck1 -
Got a new motherboard today, a Asus crosshair vi hero, AM4 for amd ryzen.
Bought is as broken / defective, it supposedly works except 2 ram slots should not get detected.
On a closer look, the story of water-damage didn't seem right.
Disassembled everything and took another look.
😲😨 "Is that solder tin? What the actual fuck?"
*Scratche it with tweezers
*"Supposed solder tin" becomes liquid and moves
😱 "The fuck that's liquid metal"
😵 Who the fuck sprinkles liquid metal all over a board?
😳Ryzen is solderd why the fuck should someone use liquid metal?
What the heck
16 -
I fucked up on my grad school essay by sending them the PDF of my college-specific paragraphs. All of them, yes.
To correct said fuckup, I attached the actual essay, but with a college-specific paragraph meant for another school.
However, I imagine that they saw the wrong essay and then went to the paragraph list and saw the paragraph meant for them?
I MADE TWO DIFFERENT FUCKUPS THAT CANCELLED EACH OTHER OUT AND I GOT ACCEPTED.
????? PROFIT?????? -
SERIOUS POST/ISSUE
During this time of pandemic all around the world, our government tried to do corruption in the import of medicines for corona victims. This is a major issue itself but has led to IT related issues as well. An online news portal reported this and it was starting to get some heat.
Then a major IT company of my country along with its sister company [The one who developed the news portal] deleted that specific news from the backdoor login.
Due to the pandemic, this news might not get much heat and might be suppressed in time. By the way, that news was a public record.
Please post your honest views on this and please let us know how we can go on after this has happened.
I feel like this thing is gonna fucking ruin the IT industry in my country 😡😡😡😡12 -
I fucking hate design agencies and everything related to fucking design!
Today we received an email from design agency asking us to put two images next to each other so that they can compare and see which one fucking fit better!
What is the difference between these two images:
first one has 28points of text size while the other one has 26 points ...
one more reason to hate this fucked up world!4 -
Fuck this IOS provisioning hell
Fuck this firebase cloud messaging plugin
Fuck outdated documentation of said plugin
Fuck unsolved issues from about 3 years ago on SO
Fuck it all6 -
Got a new job at a fairly large IT firm which deals with large scale business software for customers like the government's various agencies.
The very first job I'm assigned to: we have to strip down this software and make it more general, go ahead and delete everything related to <feature>.
I haven't had time to get to know the product and I've deleted hundreds of files and lines of code from related files...
I have a feeling this will bite me somehow5 -
One last feature and I’ll be done with a project holy fuck. I’m so fucking close just one more class and it’s done and I can move on to something I like a little more.2
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Today is release day
Today is also the day we add couple of features for the release that will take a week to implement
Life is just won-fuck-erful -
Am I the only one to see the contradiction between the first point and the last one 🤔?
(Job post from Quartal Financial Solutions)
11 -
Just got off the phone with a (no longer) prospective client. Dude claimed to have an amazing idea that's going to make millions of dollars. Says he got the idea from watching "Shark Tank". In other words, he stole someone else's idea.
Anyway, I listen to his pitch. He tells me to go to zoosk.com. The dating site. I don't say anything yet, wait for his offer, which is the best part. 25% equity. Twenty five percent. I get 25% of something that I'd build, based on a stolen idea. Not even stolen, really. Just fucking unoriginal. A dating site. Yep, the internet needs another one of those, alright.
Where the fuck do these fucking assholes come from1 -
-----------Jr Dev Fucked by Sr Dev RANT------
Huge data set (300X) that looks like this :
( Primary_key, group_id,100more columns) .
Dataset to be split in records of X sized files such that all primary_key(s) of same group_id has to go in same file.
Sde2 with MS from Australia, 12 years of 'experience' generates an 'algo'. 70% Test case FAILED.
I write a bin packing algo with 100% test case pass, raises pull request to MASTER in < 1 day. Same sde2 does not approve, blocking same day release.
|-_-| What the fuck |-_-| Incompetent people getting 2x my salary with <.5x my work2 -
"storing_values = {} # storing_values is a dictionary which stores the required values" - Medium tutorial.
... what in the fuck.2 -
"I am sure you might have heard this many times that 'Linux doesn't need antivirus software,' but this is not the case anymore."
-- MS Defender for Linux, Android and iOS
https://thehackernews.com/2020/02/...
well that's a load to take in :D
How many of you fine lads have had a Linux virus on your personal devices (NOT servers)? Raise your hands and tell your stories! :D21 -
Today I learned that for boolean HTML attributes, they are considered true if they're present on the element at all, regardless of their value. And that as a rule, you should specify the empty string("") in value.
This wounds me on a logic level since everywhere else in JS, "" is false.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Seriously. Why?14 -
What?! I mean what the fuck?! How it become sooo late? Why is devrant eating all my time? Fuck you devRant! I fuck you too!
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So was freelancing for a guy and I know him pretty well or so I thought. Turns out he is a corrupt prick who leaked one of his support staffs phone number to all the customers because she wasn't online for two days. What the fuck is wrong with some people.
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I have a LOT of Floppies but no floppy drive that works with my current Win7 machine, and my XP one is in multiple boxes for parts... so for now I can only stare at NetWare 4 to 4.2, WfW 3.11 and DOS 6-22.
Smart me made VMs on his XP machine and transferred them to his Win7 one.
I also have data tapes... now that is NEVER gonna work on my Win7 so... anyone knows how it could *possibly* work out?
Also... I got documentation on Compaq servers... those are nice.
AAAAAAND since I’m a huge MIDI nerd... I have a SC-55mkII hooked on the UM-ONE mkII and those shitty cans that I’m gonna switch (hopefully) soon for a nice pair of Cakewalks MA-15Ds.
Also, I’m looking for one of them 5150s because 80s IBM and since I also like keyboards... the one and only Model M.
Anyone can hook me up with a cheap one?1 -
The company that manages my ISA for Lambda emails on a regular basis to get you to update your income. I got annoyed by the frequency while I was employed so started filtering everything.
Though I’ve been up to date with reporting income to them and submitting tax documents, etc, I apparently missed some important emails.
Like the one on the 4th saying a third party provider flagged by account for employment with CompanyA and that I needed to submit my pay stubs for CompanyA.
I do not and have never worked for CompanyA. My husband works for CompanyA.
I also missed the email from the 12th saying I’m in breach of contract and owe them $19,091.65 immediately.
*head desk*
I’m so mad I can’t even.
Why did i check my email before going to sleep?
AND I POSTED RECENTLY SO I CAN’T EVEN RANT YET. *
*Waited it out -
Oh my god my iMac has been decompressing that bloody Xcode_8_beta.xip file for over 45 minutes, why the fuck it taking so long?2
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Holy shit this is creepy.
So I just got back from a team event today from a location that was a few hours away and, while we were at the hotel there was a little cardboard box on our breakfast table with an ad on it. The slogan on the ad was “Bada book Bada boom” it was really dumb and I almost forgot about it, but just now I’m listening to pandora on a completely separate network, many hours away from the location and an ad comes on with the SAME SLOGAN for what I assume was the same company.
Now I’m just wondering how they managed to do that.... I really do not believe it was a coincidence considering I have never heard that ad on my pandora before....
This is fucking creepy1 -
aagh fuck college subjects. over my last 4 years and 7 sems in college, i must have said this many times : fuck college subjects. But Later i realize that if not anything, they are useful in government/private exams and interviews.
But Human computer Interaction? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS SUBJECT???
This has a human in it, a comp in it, and interaction in it: sounds like a cool subject to gain some robotics/ai designing info. But its syllabus, and the info available on the net , is worse than that weird alienoid hentai porn you watched one night( I know you did).
Like, here is a para from the research paper am reading, try to figure out even if its english is correct or not:
============================
Looking back over the history of HCI publications, we can see how our community has broadened intellectually from its original roots in engineering research and, later, cognitive science. The official title of
the central conference in HCI is “Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems” even though we usually call it “CHI”. Human factors for interaction originated in the desire to evaluate whether pilots
could make error-free use of the increasingly complex control systems of their planes under normal conditions and under conditions of stress. It was, in origin, a-theoretic and entirely pragmatic. The conference and field still reflects these roots not only in its name but also in the occasional use of simple performance metrics.
However, as Grudin (2005) documents, CHI is more dominated by a second wave brought by the cognitive revolution. HCI adopted its own amalgam of cognitive science ideas centrally captured in Card, Moran & Newell (1983), oriented around the idea that human information processing is deeply analogous to computational signal processing, and that the primary computer-human interaction task is enabling communication between the machine and the person. This cognitive-revolution-influenced approach to humans and technology is what we usually think of when we refer to the HCI field, and particularly that represented at the CHI conference. As we will argue below, this central idea has deeply informed the ways our field conceives of design and evaluation.
The value of the space opened up by these two paradigms is undeniable. Yet one consequence of the dominance of these two paradigms is the difficulty of addressing the phenomena that these paradigms mark as marginal.
=============================7 -
School decided to shut down their WiFi for "security" reasons (Everyone used a VPN and they were dumb fucks at networking, blocking sites like Google for having an invalid SSL certificate).
Now I'm forced to use my mobile data to keep using my Arch Linux laptop D:3 -
Unity has a nice feature where if you search for an item in your hierarchy, it fades to white as if it just crashed.
Thanks for the heart attack, Unity! Maybe this serves as a reminder to save frequently because it *does* crash a lot.3 -
When you get on devRant expecting to make yourself feel better with others' shittier lives as devs and instead see people posting jokes and happy stuff.1
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I had the Fox Sports Go app on my Roku TV.
A few weeks ago, I noticed it was changed to the Fox Sports with a whole new design.
"Cool deal I like this."
Fast forward to today, I'm looking for a game that I know I have access to and I should be able to see. (I also check the Fox Sports Go website to see it there.)
Turns out, some dumbass fucker thought it'd be a fan-fucking-tastic idea to take a few of the TV channels and put them on their own app, while leaving the others in a separate app.
What the fuck was the point of this? I genuinely want to know what the end goal was, because it's fucking retarded to have two apps to do what one can and DID do.2 -
Yeah ok. I went to bed extra early yesterday but i kept waking up at night and now i am tired anyways but thats ok. i have to go to work now but thats good. yeah this is great. now when the sun is up and i have to go to work, my body feels like it could sleep 10 hours straight but hey, i think this is just what i need right now before work.1
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3 hours to understand that I needed an if for my code to work like it was supossed.
I need more coffee and sleep...
And just posted this rant as a comment to another rant. I am so fucked up. And the holidays just begun....2 -
Am I only the one who finds the pen pineapple apple pen video lame and boring?
Don't get people who finds it catchy and viral. -
When you're looking for the person that wrote over your changes by force pushing and you find out it was your CTO.1
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How the fuck are you supposed to read the Nobody: shit? What does it mean? It doesn't make any fucking sense.20
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Was the world always this shitty?
Was I too young to notice?
I mean... You can't even post anything on a forum without everyone going apeshit!!!
2 -
After working for weeks writing sophisticated Scala code, and building à team of react devs working on this for months, these fuckers come to me with let's go the cms route. I would like to sincerely declare, fuck this company and I hope it crashes and burns. I know start-ups are constantly changing and iterating but this is straight up nonsense.8
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So a while back I had found a hole in a website's security, one that I has used pretty frequently. I was able to change my cookies and become any user I wanted. The only caveat was that I had to log in as a user in order to get things started. But once I was in I could basically be anyone I wanted to be just by changing a few numbers in the user ID of the cookie. They also did all of their user processing on the client side. Even password checks.
A couple weeks back I decided to go back in to see if anything had changed since then. It did! But not in the way I had thought.
So these guys decided that instead of fixing their security hole, they would have users just contact their people directly in order to get a new account.
Wow that's so much fucking overhead for basically being a lazy shit and not fixing the security holes. I mean how bad is your architecture if you can't go in and fix this?
Not only that I found that they actually stripped all of the users of their original subscriptions. So now if you want to get back on your subscription you'll have to fork over another $399. So that means going to their shitty form filling out your name, your number, email, and just hope that someone contacts you via phone call.
I'm glad I dropped this service. They clearly can't get their shit together. -
A customer of ours not to say names trains people for infosec certs upon investigating their website I noticed they don't have forward secrecy enabled.
Why? What? Even?
Turn it on you baddies.2 -
Why do we take tests on paper? No offense professor, but if all I have is a sheet of paper to program on I'm out of a job!3
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Trying to debug my program but it only behaves correctly when I run it on debug mode not when I actually run the damn thing :/2
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Yes, thanks you, IntelliJ, how did you know I wanted to set the fucking NODE_MODULES folder as my fucking KOTLIN SOURCES ROOT every time I hit Gradle refresh?
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co-worker : "hey, have you listened to this cool rocking song"
*Absolutely no idea about what he's talking about*
Me : *internally screaming* no I haven't
CW : well you should check it out, it really blah blah blah
I lost interest mid-way.
Protip : never intimate your colleagues out of their interest -
So this manager told me we need to build accelerator. What's an accelerator. He told that it some how manages Microservices.2
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Now why the fuck is one DNS record (for the www prefix) working but the other isn't? WHAT THE FUCK???2
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TLDR: Being taken of my assigned dev tasks to do a basic word mail merge.
Why am I doing a word mail merge again?
Oh yeah because the business are that used to oh well if it's more than two clicks IT will do it. The only bit that would be considered hard (using that word loosely) is the address block.
No totally not mad that you had me write a mail merge for dip shits guide which isn't being used. No totally not pissed that you now want me to drop everything I'm doing for this basic task.
The fucks can't even pull the right data. Here's the data for the mail merge. Great your missing some key bits. The fucking addresses and names of the people.
I think what's pissing me off the most is I'm not being technically challenged at all and any chance I get to do something that would be is taken away to do something basic you learn in school. -
>finally gets around to installing vsftpd on home server RPi
>doesn't work
hmm.mp2
>configurating
>confusing as fuck template documentation
>man page isn't much better
>gets it working
>goes to log in
User: pi
Password: a
(What? It's a home file/command server isolated from the Internet. Sue me.)
nope.avi
>why
>tries again
nope.svg
>FUCK
>sees small raw-command log in bottom-right of phone FTP client
hmm.flac
>tries again, watches log
PASS *****
>the fuck
>goes to change user pass over SSH
# passwd
"Current password?"
about half a second later
"passwd: auth token manipulation denied"
>the delay tho
>WAIT A SECOND
one time i got past some parental software bullshit on a tablet by abusing the delay between opening a banned app and the redirect to the normal software at like age 7. (Doing so let me enable remote wipe through Google. bye bye software!)
>*inner 7 year old has autistic screech*
# nano temp
a
abcdefghi
abcdefghi
^O Y ^X
# passwd < temp
>fucking works
>logs in to FTP server successfully
>does the one file download that was needed
why and how did that fucking work -
WP's `get_template_part()` - What the fuck? Really? I think it should have been called: `confusingIncludeWAT()`2
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What i'll minded cocksucker decided it was a good idea to let the web application cache MySQL login credentials..3
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*plugs in Sun Microsystems Type 6 keyboard*
Okay, several questions:
- Why is my Compose acting like Super?
- Why does Meta no longer exist?
- Why does Menu no longer exist?
- Why is Num Lock stuck on?
$ sudo dpkg-reconfigure keyboard-configuration
> Sun Microsystems Type 6
Thats better. -
If you're running Manjaro and use mesa...
...yeah, you should definitely run your pacman (or wrapper thereof) with -Syyuu. Otherwise their fake-upgrade mess that they've done yesterday will likely break something on your system, too.7 -
I handle multiple projects at a time... Sometimes I feel stupid to mess up the basic syntax of Kotlin and Java.
So I made a stupid mistake in my code like this. I wrote this in Java file
" val something : String = "value"; " (which this is a Kotlin syntax, without knowing that I am coding in a Java file not Kotlin!
Oh stupid me~2 -
ok i'm fucking serious right now. the dumb rocket was going to (now is) the most powerful robot in space. then they had to delay, for HIGH WINDS? what the FUCK? a rocket that can carry 130,000 lbs CANT handle HIGH WINDS. what the fucking fuck fuck fuck. seriously how the fuck fuck fuck. fuck.2
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Let's say you're building an application for a very specific android device, and you know exactly what it comes with (OS, architecture, Graphics libraries, RAM, ecc)
I can't really make HUGE changes to my code, but since I'm working with unity, I cant make some changes in the way the APK is built.
So let's say my device is ARCH64, uses OpenGLES3.1 and has 4GB of RAM, what are the improvements in making the APK for 64bits instead of 32?7 -
See I'm a curious case.
Back when I graduated high school my father and I started a startup. We build an Android app revolving around personal safety. It was cool. Had news coverage. It flopped.
In the process off the two months time it took me to build the fucker I had to "Learn" Java and the Android SDK enough to push this app out.
I burned myself out and on top of that I felt like I did not really learn the language. So now years later I want to Learn C# for myself for game Development with unity. However I also want to learn Web Development Properly. Which I have tinkered with on and off since the old days of Xhtml when I built a website for my senior project in HS.
I still feel burned out. Anyone else with a similar feel. I know it's silly being burned after one failed project. But it does not help either that I rushed through learning Java did not retain fuck all and now I feel like I can't learn anything new because mental blockage. Even reading this sounds stupid.
Might also be new shiny object syndrome. Between C# and JS. Lol.6 -
Got up with a pretty bad hangover. The worst thing that could happen was GitHub getting acquired by Microsoft. Is this for real?2
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When you're agreed with prototyping sdlc then suddenly it became waterfall model.
"I'm thinking there's some lack of additional features that might be needed by our clie-"
"NO! CAN THE SOFTWARE WORK? WE NEED TO RELEASE TOMORROW "
"Yes it works ok deliver tomorrow"
Fucking cheesedick hobo here comes another deployment Friday that tops another nice fucking shit on your degenerative brain to come up with such a plan -
Omg click once applications are such a royal fucking pain in my ass.
Everything has to be code signed and every manifest much match and if you change anything you better hope to the gods you can use mage and resign that shit and that it will work
Can we just like, stop using it thank you god I hate it2 -
Use a product that is not the greatest, but does its job fairly well in the human capital management market. Anyhow this POS can't communicate very well with Azure extended end points via rest. FML. Now I'm building workarounds and I know this bs is gonna bite me in the ass.
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Yesterday's was fucking stupid.
It all begins with a fucking online clothes shop that "cancelled" my order from a week ago because "PayPal detected strange account movements". I logged into my PP Account and no notice or whatsoever of that.
Then they tell me I'll have to wait around for ~30 days to get my money back. Are you fucking damn serious? First you delay my fucking order a week then you cancel it without contacting me to "reassure" I put the order and then you say that I'll have my money back on 30 days? Fuck you.
Thereafter, I was going to buy a new phone, which two weeks ago I already went to request a quotation and they told me I was ready to go with paying 50% off.
Well... fuck me, because I went yesterday and they told me that I couldn't get the phone becase "The system says you already have three lines with our company, and all of those have money due" What? Fucking shit, I went two weeks ago and everything was fine, and now this? I don't even have an account in that stupid company and now they tell me I have three with late payments?
FUCKING HELL!!
As if everything wasn't going bad already, I went off and said I'll come back today to see "if the system has been corrected", so I went to grab a burger at McDonalds that's on my way back home.
I make my order and the cashier is like "Hurr durr.. The card terminal doesn't work, do you have cash? If not, don't worry I can cancel the order and switch to the other station so i can charge you"
ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? I mean, come on dude! If you know that the shitty card terminal doesn't work and the station that it's fully functional it's literally three fucking steps next to you, WHY THE FUCKING FLYING FUCK ARE YOU USING THE WRONG ONE?
Then I wait for my order, that I saw they prepared and was ready like in 5 minutes, but the guy went and stood looking at the void. Then he realizes and begins to pick my food and set it up. He puts it on a tray and stands there, I stand there looking at him.
"My order was to go" I said... then he's like "Oh, yeah" and begins to pack.
Dude... the order is in the fucking screen, I said the cashier that It was to go... jesus.
Then I tell him "Can you put some sweet mustard packages?"
"Yeah" he says... but I looked away. When I arrived home, I opened the bag and... FUCKING HELL, NORMAL MUSTARD.
I told him twice, even said "please" and "thank you", but hell no, he had ONE JOB, and he didn't do it.
Seriously guys, stop this fucking mess, somebody call `kill` -
For fuck sake. This is literally the 10th time today either Rider or Unity has had hiccups and just crashed. Every single time I had something which wasn't saved and had to be redone. 😡 I could be so much more productive without having to rewrite a lot of my code twice...1
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Okay so I calming down now. All is well. Great now I have iphostor syndrome! What will come tomorrow?! I can't wait... 26s till I can rant. now
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