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Skillsnull
Joined devRant on 8/4/2016
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I'm working on a programming language with a "bytecode" interpreter and a compiler that translates source code to said bytecode and... it sort of actually works!
I want to recreate an Erlang-style environment, currently you can write functions, call C++ functions via wrappers, have immutable-only values, and it has no explicit control structure apart from statement sequencing and the if-expression because I want to make it as functional as possible. Next thing on the list is to add a green threads implementation and ability to spawn and send messages to processes.
Still a WIP and heck even design-in-progress.
Now for the rant:
I'm using CMake for building C++ (interpreter) and Stack for Haskell (compiler) and I've been trying to get them to talk to each other for hours because I want CMake to manage the Stack build too and shove all the executables into one place. CMake documentation is weird and Stack isn't too helpful either, so I guess I'll just spend another few hours trying to get Stack to fuckin reveal its build directory to CMake and/or build to a given directory. Ugh.8 -
Me: Hey, can you help me with that?
Coworker: Sure
* Looks at code *
Ah, you just have to...
* Tries to type *
Uhm, do you the vim plugin?
Me: yeah, is that a problem?
Coworker: Weird flex but it's ok
* tries to type solution *
Uhm, do you also use another keyboard layout?
Me: Yes, I use the US layout (instead of the german layout)
Coworker: I'm done with this, you type
Me: 🤣🤣🤣2 -
Payment gateways are a fucking pain in the ass...
According to my colleagues who have to deal with it 🤣.
One is about to break, begging everyone subscribe to his service.5 -
Modern software has gotten so bad that it even gets sluggish at times on late 2018 flagship devices. Slow, cheap hardware like is usually developers' and fanboys' excuse, particularly when it comes to Windows stuff? Like hell it is.
Software "engineering" has become so.. terribly inefficient. I'd dare any developer worth their salt to rewrite their program to make it work on an early 2000's machine. After all, those can run pretty advanced GUI's, have a reasonable amount of hardware (just think about how large a gigabyte of RAM really is) yet should be able to make for a reasonable limitation set.
Hardware limitations are the mother of optimization. Not every person on the planet has a 32-core Xeon workstation with 64GB of DDR4 RAM and a GTX Titan in it. Whether your application performs reasonably well on your machine shouldn't be the metric. Try deploying it on that laptop you tucked into a shelf years ago and reevaluate.. please.
And definitely you Slack!! Slacking off, is that what inspired the name of that pile of junk?! 😡26 -
Me: "Ok, downloaded the (windows) iso, now I need to create a bootable usb"
* Pulls out 4Gb usb drive *
Father: "That iso won't fit on that one"
M: "Oh yeah right, do you have one for me"
F: "Sure"
* hands over 64Gb usb drive *
M: "thanks"
* Checks content *
* "Backups 15" directory and other old files *
"Guess I can use that"
* dds iso on usb drive *
dd: "done"
M: * Reboots *
Pc: "Nani the fuck is that supposed to be"
M: * searches online for solutions, tries out 2 different ones, one being provided by microsoft *
P: "lol no"
F: * comes in *
"Is it working?"
M: "Nah, windows a bitch"
F: "ok, can you copy me some files on the usb in the meantime?"
M: "Sure..."
{ How did he know that the drive is currently empty? }
* copies files onto stick *
F: * sees empty usb drive*
"Did you delete the contents on the usb?"
M: "Kinda, that happens when you create a bootable usb drive"
F: "..."
M: "Why do you ask, was the something important on the drive?"
F: "Idk, doesn't matter anyways now, since the contents are gone"
Btw, it still doesn't boot from the usb drive. Windows 10 iso is a bitch.7 -
Hi all,
Made my first game. Can you give me some feedback?
https://play.google.com/store/apps/...
It is very simple.16 -
FUCK YOU VODAFONE!
My internet broke down the weekend, 4 minutes after I left my house on Friday at 9.04am.
Issue resolved after work at 9pm, broke down half an hour later.
Total silence. Providers status page gave 500 response.
THE NEXT DAY: Woke up because Netflix was working at 8.26am again.
Great, I get up. Can't wait to do anything I want again! I can code, game, watch porn, possibilities are endless!
I get stuff to breakfast. Come back and guess what? NO INTERNET!
Got confirmation of existence of problems at noon. Something with streaming, possibly fixed by Monday.
Okay maybe streaming, but shouldn't the other stuff then work? I process.
Used up my mobile data. Tried again, now it works, but...
.. why.. so.. slow? It was worse than 3g. Time to get out lynx to Google.
It's Sunday. I woke up pissed, got myself a Coffee and tried to get some offline work done. I sipped, closed my eyes for a moment and opened chrome.
IT WORKED! omg, fuck yes! I almost cried I was that happy - can you believe it?
All fine an dandy Monday. So surely the streaming thing will also be gone now, cool.
Today's day is Tuesday. Guess why I am writing this.
Fuck these apprentice nigga cunts graaaaa!!! Or their infrastructure will finally break down.
How is it even possible to do any work on a very important node at a time where probably everyone wants to chill out with the web?7 -
Only got 2h of sleep instead of my usual 5h. I'm a walking corpse and there are still 7h left until I can go home 😴
Stupid, calming water-flow sounds are going to bring me down4 -
The world must truly hate me.
I refactored my code a lot in order to easily integrate different APIs endpoints but then I can't use the one I specifically did this for, because of TLS errors.
My browsers all agree that it's fine, but curl and the 2 http libraries I tested can't fetxh any data.
END ME!9 -
I spend fucking weeks planing how to crawl the reddit api as concurrent as possible, only to realiye that there is a ratelimit of 300 request per 600 seconds
FUCK, SHIT GODVERDOMME, VAFFANCULO, EAT SHIT, PENETRATE ME WITH A SWORDFISH, FMFL6 -
Máni is an open source general purpose programming language. It is built on top of Java, and has some of the traits of JavaScript whilst also being unique.
We would love some people to join the development team and help us out with some issues. [more details]4 -
That one fucking time my text editor so damn high, that it choose to encode my file utf-8 BOM.
I was using Notepad++ because I thought it would just provide a good syntax highlighting, without stabbing me in the back
Seemingly nothing wrong with the code, but it took me, a friend and two teacher almost half an hour to figure out why the css simply wasn't work, even though it was clearly used and worker as intended when embeded in the file.
This was some years ago, so please don't judge me for my editor of choice at that time
Other than that, i simply suck at css and gladly use css frameworks 😅8 -
Other people in 2019:
Realtime image classification!
Me in 2019:
22075ms to find all occurrences of a string of the screen2 -
I forgot the fricking ON clause for a important database query. While it didn't crash MY program or greatly effect the performance, I feel sorry for the API that had to deal with the idiotic results of this.
Especially that one request I just spotted, where I just got the answer "the query took too long". That one was like querying the table "females" for males.
Soo fricking sorry 😭😭😭3 -
"The table names are irrelevant anyways, unless you want named tables"
I can barely believe that this sentence makes sense, if you put it in context, even though I wrote it.3 -
I dont know why but my team lead urges everyone to use empty string as a constant string variable from our utility class instead of just putting "" in our code... Its really cringe worthy... Why use Constants.NONE when you can put "" just to avoid null exception working with Strings..4
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Hi,
I'm not a ranty person so I never actually thought I'd post anything here but here it goes.
From the beginning.
We use ancient technologies. PHP 5.2, Symfony 1.2 and a non RFC complient SOAP with NO documentation.
A year ago We've been thrown a new temporary project. An VOIP app for every OS.
That being iOS, Android, MAC, PC, Linux, Windows mobile. With a 3 month deadline. All that thrown at 4 PHP developers. The idea being that They'll take it, sign the delivery protocol, everyone happy. No more updates for the app needed. They get their funds they needed the app for and we get paid.
Fast forward to today...
Our dev team started the year with great news that We'll most likely have to create a new project. Since the amount of new features would be far greater than current feature set, we managed to finally force our boss to use newer technologies (ie. seperate backend symfony4 PHP7+/frontend react, rest api and so on). So we were ecstatic to say the least. With preestimates aimed at a minimum 3 month development period. Since we're comfortable with everything that needs to be done.
Two days later our boss came to me that one of our most annoying clients needs a new feature. Said client uses ancient version written on a napkin because They changed half of the specification 2 weaks before deadline in a software made not by a developer but some sysadmin who didn't know anything. His MVC model was practically VVV model since he even had sql queries in some views. Feature will take 3 days - fixing everything that will break in the meantime - 1-2 months.
F*** it, fine. A little overtime won't kill me.
Yesterday boss comes again... Apparently someone lost a delivery protocol for a project we ended that half a year ago. Whats even better at the time when we asked for hardware to test we never got any. When we asked about any testing enviornment - nothing. The app being SEMI-stable on everything is an overstatement but it was working on the os'es available at the time. Since the client started testing now again, it turns out that both Android app does not work on 8.1/9 and the iOS app does not work on ios12. The client obviously does not want to pay and we can do little with it without the protocol, other than rewriting the apps.
It will take months at least since all of those apps were written by people that didn't know neither the OS'es nor the languages. For example I started writing the iOS one in swift. Only to learn after half of the development time, that swift doesn't like working by C Library rules and I had to use ObjC also. With some C thrown in due to the library. 3 unknown languages, on an unknown platform in 3 months. I never had any apple device in my hand at that time nor do I intend to now. I'm astonished it worked out then. It was a clusterf**k of bad design and sticking everything together with deprecated apis and a gum. So I'll have to basically fully rewrite it.
If boss decides we'll take all those at the same time I'll f***ing jump of a bridge.8 -
People complaining about me using white theme are like people being dicks about what I wear.
Just take care about your business9 -
Guys, if you have an extra computer lying around, support for the cause by contributing your device as a resource to SETI:
https://setiathome.berkeley.edu
If you discover something, the credit goes to you! If you are not happy, you can contribute to various other projects which are in need of your computation. Kindly consider.7