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Search - "high"
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I had an interview yesterday with the CEO of a startup going into Series A for the position of Principal Developer, remote. I've only ever heard of 'tech-bros', but I was unfortunate to meet one in-person. It went something like this:
CEO-bro: Good morning.
Me: Morning.
CEO-bro: It says here on your resume you live in X. That place is a shithole, and I have to look down on you because of that, bro. LoL.
Me: ......
(40 minutes of self-promotion pass)
CEO-bro: Anyway, we don't pay high salaries but offer bonuses for high performing staff instead. I'll ask HR to send you an offer.
Me: Let me think about it.
CEO-bro: One question bro. You have siblings?
Me: One.
CEO-bro: Parents still alive?
Me: No...what?!
CEO-bro: Yeah, me too. People like us don't let anything get in the way.
I wrote them an email this morning withdrawing my application 🤦🏽♂️11 -
"Hey, Root, someone screwed up and now all of our prod servers are running this useless query constantly. I know I already changed your priorities six times in the past three weeks, but: Go fix it! This is higher priority! We already took some guesses at how and supplied the necessary code changes in the ticket, so this shouldn't take you long. Remember, HIGH PRIORITY!"
1. I have no idea how to reproduce it.
2. They have no idea how to reproduce it.
3. The server log doesn't include queries.
4. The application log doesn't include queries.
5. The tooling intercepts and strips out some log entries the legendary devs considered useless. (Tangent: It also now requires a tool to read the logs because log entries are now long json blobs instead of plain text.)
6. The codebase uses different loggers like everywhere, uses a custom logger by default, and often overwrites that custom logger with the default logger some levels in. gg
7. The fixes shown in the ticket are pretty lame. (I've fixed these already, and added one they missed.)
8. I'm sick and tired and burned out and just can't bring myself to care. I'm only doing this so i don't get fired.
9. Why not have the person who screwed this up fix it? Did they quit? I mean, I wouldn't blame them.
Why must everything this company does be so infuriatingly complicated?11 -
Recruiter: Your skills are amazing! There's hight demand! massive shortage! the market is hot!
Me: great
Recruiter: But your rate is too high.
Me: ....6 -
i got high praise for my work today, and i can't understand why 😂
i consider my work average at best, but my boss told me everyone sings my praises behind my back. i wonder how dire things must be that this is considered excellent11 -
I'm in a few women in tech groups. A woman, who is a highly experienced developer, shared that she had a conversation with her male friend, who is a startup founder. He said that his criteria for recruitment are high levels of math and physics since high school and early interest in programming (e.g. age of 10). She said his criteria made her sad and excluded.
A fellow woman developer commented that it's reasonable to feel sad when you learn your good friend is an idiot. I snorted some Monster out of my nose reading this and I'm still coughing and chuckling.
To be honest, the founder's requirements do sound super ridiculous, and I imagine his startup is made up of clones of the same guy type, wearing different shades of gray t shirts and sandals with socks.56 -
Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?
Its all relative, I've seen a lot of "worst's". Here's one of many I'll try to post.
A (married) DBA would often come to work drunk, starting fooling around with a couple of devs (which we suspect she had sought adventures outside the IT dept based on rumors), and ultimately got fired because she was caught sleeping at her desk (and she was drunk). One of her conquests told us she came from a very poor childhood and this was her first real high paying job. Abusive husband, being attractive herself, and being surrounded by other attractive, highly intelligent, single bucks (aka horny) that had no morals, equaled bad decisions.
She wasn't the worst, it was the assholes who took advantage of the situation that makes it in my top 10 worst things I've seen.8 -
Messaging me at 4:30pm on a Friday about a high priority issue currently in production.
My reply: a link to the code review from 2 months ago that literally explained the problem and what to do to fix it. That got implemented. Then removed. For some reason...
Feels good.2 -
I applaud my coworker who titled the business analytics dashboard showing end user feedback and CES values projected onto the 6 meter high wall of the office lobby.
"International Normalized Customer Effort Score Tracker"9 -
Worst hack/attack I had to deal with?
Worst, or funniest. A partnership with a Canadian company got turned upside down and our company decided to 'part ways' by simply not returning his phone calls/emails, etc. A big 'jerk move' IMO, but all I was responsible for was a web portal into our system (submitting orders, inventory, etc).
After the separation, I removed the login permissions, but the ex-partner system was set up to 'ping' our site for various updates and we were logging the failed login attempts, maybe 5 a day or so. Our network admin got tired of seeing that error in his logs and reached out to the VP (responsible for the 'break up') and requested he tell the partner their system is still trying to login and stop it. Couple of days later, we were getting random 300, 500, 1000 failed login attempts (causing automated emails to notify that there was a problem). The partner knew that we were likely getting alerted, and kept up the barage. When alerts get high enough, they are sent to the IT-VP, which gets a whole bunch of people involved.
VP-Marketing: "Why are you allowing them into our system?! Cut them off, NOW!"
Me: "I'm not letting them in, I'm stopping them, hence the login error."
VP-Marketing: "That jackass said he will keep trying to get into our system unless we pay him $10,000. Just turn those machines off!"
VP-IT : "We can't. They serve our other international partners."
<slams hand on table>
VP-Marketing: "I don't fucking believe this! How the fuck did you let this happen!?"
VP-IT: "Yes, you shouldn't have allowed the partner into our system to begin with. What are you going to do to fix this situation?"
Me: "Um, we've been testing for months already went live some time ago. I didn't know you defaulted on the contract until last week. 'Jake' is likely running a script. He'll get bored of doing that and in a couple of weeks, he'll stop. I say lets ignore him. This really a network problem, not a coding problem."
IT-MGR: "Now..now...lets not make excuses and point fingers. It's time to fix your code."
IT-VP: "I agree. We're not going to let anyone blackmail us. Make it happen."
So I figure out the partner's IP address, and hard-code the value in my service so it doesn't log the login failure (if IP = '10.50.etc and so on' major hack job). That worked for a couple of days, then (I suspect) the ISP re-assigned a new IP and the errors started up again.
After a few angry emails from the 'powers-that-be', our network admin stops by my desk.
D: "Dude, I'm sorry, I've been so busy. I just heard and I wished they had told me what was going on. I'm going to block his entire domain and send a request to the ISP to shut him down. This was my problem to fix, you should have never been involved."
After 'D' worked his mojo, the errors stopped.
Month later, 'D' gave me an update. He was still logging the traffic from the partner's system (the ISP wanted extensive logs to prove the customer was abusing their service) and like magic one day, it all stopped. ~2 weeks after the 'break up'.8 -
So I've decided if I am invited to a school career day the what I'll do is this.
1. Start by handing out one of those logic puzzles that are like Sally lives 2 houses down from Bill, Bill is 3 houses away from Maggie where does Jerry live type of thing. Then I'll tell the kids they have 10 minutes to figure it out.
2. After about three minutes I'll tell them that they also need to figure out where Jerry lives and not give them enough information to figure that out.
3. 5 minutes in I'll start asking them why it is taking so long, and it shouldn't be that hard. I'll also ask about where Phil lives who was never mentioned before.
4. At 7 minutes I'll look for anyone who might be figuring it out and tell them there is a much more important high priority problem I need them to solve and give them a new puzzle and tell them I expect them both to be done on time.
5. At nine minutes I'll start yelling at them that they must not be that good and why they haven't finished yet if any of them complain I'll tell them they are just dumb.
6. At ten minutes I'll ask them to turn it in and then immediately throw it in the trash and tell them that wasn't what they were supposed to be doing, and tell them they did it wrong.
I figure that is a pretty good representation of what working in software engineering is like.3 -
Oh dear, a scaling problem I solved was replacing some Regex matching with simpler string functions. While I'm a huge fan of Regex, it's unreal how much performance they can suck out of some high-n loops...
I got about 120x out of some critical code thus making a CPU upgrade unnecessary.8 -
Story time on my job hunt: Currently interviewing with Google during my notice period.
I always had a love hate relationship with Google. Unlike my hate towards Meta or Amazon, where I had a reason to hate them for how ill intended they are, I never had a valid reason to dislike or hate Google apart from the fact that they steal my data.
That's it. That's my only reason why I hate Google. But I fell in love with their products during my trip to Istanbul and how throughout my journey, Google products were there for me to solve all my needs.
As y'all know, I was treated badly during my Meta interview, last October. With Google, the experience is on another level.
People are fucking smart and ingenious, but at the same time very polite, humble, and respectful.
During my 3 interviews so far (2 more remaining), each one of them made me so comfortable that I was more anxious before the interview than during or after.
They supported me during each question they asked. They made me felt heard and focused on my strength, instead of the weaknesses (or trying to break me down unnecessarily).
The interview syllabus is so fucking vast, and recruiters know so much that they helped me not only with preparation material, but also guided me personally. Haven't seen such knowledgeable recruiters.
The questions were dynamic in nature and thankfully because of my preparation, I was able to answer them most.
Overall, the culture at Google seems brilliant and an environment where one can flourish. No wonder companies are trying to copy every aspect of how Google operates and no surprise that Google is doing well at scale.
I feel so high on emotions (positively), after these interviews that I wonder how would it be to work at Google with such phenomenal people and exceptional environment.7 -
This brings joy
https://reddit.com/r/technology/...
Bypass paywall:
A series of scandals and missteps has damaged Facebook's reputation so much that the company is being forced to pay ever larger compensation to hire and retain workers, according to industry recruiters, former employees, and data reviewed by Insider.
The company has always competed aggressively for talent, and the tech job market in general is on fire. But a deteriorating public image means the social-media giant now has to outbid other major tech companies, such as Google.
"One thing Facebook can still do is pay a lot more," said Jose Guardado, an experienced tech recruiter and the founder of Build Talent. "They can easily throw more compensation at people they currently have, and cover any brand tax and pay a little more to get people to come on."
Silicon Valley companies thrive or whither based on their ability to recruit the smartest employees. Without a steady influx of engineers and other technical experts, new products and important updates take longer to release, and rivals can quickly get ahead. Then there's the financial cost: In 2022, Facebook projected, expenses could jump as high as $97 billion from $70 billion this year, in large part because of "investments in technical and product talent." A company spokesperson did not respond to a request for comment.
Other companies, and even whole industries, have had to increase compensation to overcome hiring and retention problems caused by scandal and shifting public perceptions, said Alan Johnson, a managing director at the compensation consulting firm Johnson Associates. "If you're an oil company, if you make cigarettes, if you're in cattle or Wells Fargo, sure," he said.
How well this is working for Facebook is debatable as the company has more than 4,300 open jobs and has seen decreasing rates of acceptance on job offers, according to internal documents reported by Protocol. It's also seen dozens of high-level executives leave this year, and recruiters say employees are now more open to considering jobs elsewhere. Facebook used to be a place that people rarely left, given its reach, pay, and perks.
A former Oculus engineer who left last year said Facebook could now be seen as a "black mark" on someone's career. A hardware engineer who exited in 2020 shared similar sentiments: They said they quit because of concerns about misinformation on the platform and the effect of that on children. Another employee said their department was dissolved in late 2019 by Facebook and, although the company offered another position that paid more, they left last year anyway for a different industry. The workers, and many other people who spoke with Insider for this story, asked not to be identified because of the sensitive nature of the topic.
For those who stick around and people who take new jobs at Facebook, base pay and stock grants have gone up a "sizable" amount in the past year, said Zuhayeer Musa, cofounder of Levels.fyi, a platform that collects pay data based on verified offers and compensation disclosures.
During the second quarter of 2021, the median compensation for an upper-mid-level engineer, an E5, was $400,000, up from $380,000 a year earlier. For an E4, the median pay jumped to $276,000 from $256,000 in the same period. For both groups, the increases were double the gains between 2018 and 2019, Levels.fyi data showed.
Musa, who's firm also offers pay-negotiation coaching, said previously that the total compensation ceiling for an E5 engineer at Facebook was $450,000. "We recently had a client get up to $510,000 for E5," he added.
Equity awards at the company are getting more generous, too. At the group-director and VP levels, Facebook staff are getting $3 million to $6 million in restricted stock units each year, another tech recruiter said. Directors and managers are getting on average $1 million a year. In engineering, a high-level engineer is getting $600,000 in stock and a $75,000 bonus, while even an entry-level engineer is getting $50,000 to $100,000 in stock and a $20,000 to $50,000 bonus, Levels.fyi data indicated.
Even compared to Google, Facebook's stock awards are generous and increasing, Levels.fyi data shows. While base pay is about the same, Facebook offers more in stock grants, significantly increasing total compensation. At Google, entry-level equity awards range from $20,000 to $38,000, while Facebook grants are worth $40,000 to $60,000. Sign-on bonuses at Facebook are often about $50,000, while Google gives about $20,000, according to the data.
"It's not normal, but it's consistent with the craziness that's happening in the market right now," said Aalap Shah, a managing director focused on the tech industry at the consulting firm Pearl Meyer.11 -
A couple of weeks ago, I got to the second stage of a recruitment process with a relatively big fintech in the crypto space (I know) - all went well and although I did not think much of it at first, with all the information I had gathered I came to realize this might as well be the best opportunity I've had in my pursuit of finding a new job (i.e looking for high technical challenges, unsure of where I see myself in 5 years, wanting to give full-remote work a try, etc.).
Cue to the end of the interview;
"That's great! I really enjoyed speaking with you, your technical background seems excellent so we would like to move to the next stage which is a take-home test to do in your free time.", said the interviewer.
"Wow! Much amaze, well of course! What's it gonna be?", said the naive interviewee.
"I'm sending you the details via email, please send it back in 48 hours, buhbye now", she hangs up.
...
"48 hours?? Right, this should be easy then, probably some online leetcoding platform, as usual.", thought the naive interviewee, who evidently went through this sh*t numerous times already.
A day later I receive the email: this was the whole deal. The take-home test supreme with bacon and cheese. A full-blown project, with tests, a project structure, a docker image, testing and bullet points for bonus points! The assessment was poorly written with lots of typos and overall ambiguity, a few datasets were also provided but bloated with inconsistent comments and trailing whitespace.
What the actual fck??? Am I supposed to sleep deprive myself to death while also working my day job? What are you trying to assess? How much of my life I'm willing to sacrifice for your stupid useless coding challenge? You are not all Google, have some respect, jeez.
I did not get the job.2 -
start teaching people how and why to delete code instead of teaching them only how to write code
compare functional and object oriented languages as well as high level and low level languages and explain what are advantages of using certain language without going into the syntax
let people do mistakes and don’t punish people for making them but let them explain what happened, if they know what was the cause of mistake it is worth ten times than doing things correctly
mix teams per period of time instead of per project
make showcases how to modify ugly code to pretty one and what are the steps and what patterns people should look after
teach by not showing old stuff but showing where old stuff exists in modern things and why it’s important there and what’s the purpose of doing things certain way instead of flat theory based on ancient examples1 -
I work for healthcare client project in a start up, worked two years straight without a break.
Client is very inconsiderate about developers work-life balance, he always wants to release every features yesterday.
Never had a reasonable deadline, worked late nights most of the time. No one had backbone to control this client from our side.
Its only developers team, no project management, scrum masters or anything, everything has to be taken care by Dev's.
I decided to take a week break from work.
The first day of my leave he pinged me 3 times to change an "from email" address for notification email which no one give a damn about.
I never replied or did anything. But the part of myself is dying of guilt.
Now I can't relax myself completely.
Re-thinking of my life choices atm.
I loved programming since high school, I can work on computers 24/7 without tired. That's how much I love it. Now I'm just tired of it.
If anyone who read this till here. Thank you.19 -
I have been on Reddit...
I have been lurking in ProgrammerHumor...
I am not proud of these things...
I got called a "Big Shot" because I didn't think the concept of pointers in C/C++ was ever particularly hard.
If I remember right. I learned in high school how pointers worked when they explained how arrays worked in Pascal. When I taught myself C it didn't ever seem like it was a difficult thing to understand.
Is the concept of pointers really that hard to understand for devs?17 -
At a previous company we hired an 18 year old guy and father from a minority and without a high school degree. He could write enough code to get the job. However, he took 3h long lunches, came in late to work and apparently had a problem taking orders from women. At one point all the juniors got an earful because of his attitude and he got let go, not long after. It still saddens me because he could have made a really good career if wasn't for his attitude.1
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Someone here on devrant that used to go under the name LetMeCode ranted about php and said how much they'd rather work with the Phoenixframework.
Love on first sight. Studied Elixir to get a job as an elixir dev and got my first and current job right after graduating high school.
So yeah, that rant might have changed my life. Saved me from becoming a java or php dev for sure!4 -
TL;DR Pluralsight should be ashamed for taking 299 USD a year and writing some very low-quality quizzes.
I've always heard that Pluralsight is a great platform having some high quality courses, so I chose it as a benefit, as our company was giving us some budget for learning purposes. I've paid (or rather the company did it in the end) 299 USD for this year, which, I guess is not much for US standards, but it is a lot for Eastern European standards.
I didn't actually get to the point of watching any of the courses, but I started to use a feature called "Stack up", which is a long series of questions in a specific theme, like Java, Kotlin, C++, etc., accessible once a day. I must say, I'm amazed by the fact, that people pay quite a great amount of money and they get something so poorly made with a lot of errors and stupid questions.
Take the question from the included image for example. Not only that the 2 possible answers are repeated (and thus I failed to select the correct one from 2 equal answers), but the supposedly correct answer is also missing some type specifications. No Java compiler will compile it this way as far as I know. There would be at least 3 ways to fix it.
Then there is today's gem (should be included as first comment) as well, where the answer is wrong in both Chrome 96, Firefox 95 and Node v10. Heck, THIS IS one of the reasons why you should never use `var` in your JavaScript code, but always `let` and `const`!
So the courses on Pluralsight might be good, but I would be ashamed, if I were to release something like this. People might actually try to solidify their knowledge by solving these quizzes but instead of learning something useful, they will be left with some bullshit. I just don't get how could they release a feature with so much incorrect information and I am kind of disappointed, even if I didn't try the courses yet.9 -
Most upsetting interview rejection?
Back when I graduated college, I did the usual rounds of interviews with insurance companies, banks, various other institutional businesses set up by the college's career center.
One local insurance company interview I thought went great. Usual 'Where do you see yourself in 5 years?' type questions, told her about my job history, very high level type stuff.
Couple of weeks later I get a letter in the mail and after the usual 'It was great to meet you blah blah blah', it ended with
'State Farm will never consider you for a position with our company.'
Never?! My then fiance (now wife) yelled "WHAT DID YOU DO?!!!" and I racked my brain for anything I might have said or done. The HR lady was attractive, but I didn't stare at any body parts and I didn't make any weird sexual advances (I was nervous enough without *that* going thru my mind).
The college career center floods the local companies with graduates and I was #5 in the waiting room that day. My only guess was they got me confused with someone else.
My fiance wanted me to call them immediately to straighten out any misunderstanding, but I knew what was done, was done. It's not like they would realize "Oh, that's right, it was Bob that kept looking at Karen's breasts, not you...come work for us!" Besides, why would I want to work someplace that didn't know/care who I was?6 -
www.dartlang.org
Dart helps you craft beautiful, high-quality experiences across all screens
... Not my screen though
I forgive them 😊1 -
to anyone who says girls can’t code because they have no skill and therefore shouldn’t be in a high position because they have no dick,
I’ll show you how I code with my girl skills, I’ll fire you with my girl position, and I’ll fuck you with my girl dick.8 -
I thought of posting this as a comment to @12bit float' post, but then decided it better goes out as a post by itself.
https://devrant.com/rants/5291843/...
My second employer, where I am on my last week of notice currently, is building a no code/low code tool.
Since this was my first job switch, I was in a dreamy phase and was super excited about this whole space. I indeed got to learn like crazy.
Upon joining, I realised that an ideal user persona for this product was a developer. Wow! No code tool for developer. sO cOoL...
We started building it and as obvious as it could get, the initial goal was adoption because we were still at top of the funnel.
We launched an alpha release shortly followed by a beta.
Nobody used it. Tech XLT/LT kept pushing product and design team to run a feature factory so that their teams can use this tool.
The culture set by those two leaders was toxic as fuck.
Now, I decided to do some research and some more product discovery to understand why folks were not using it. Mind you, we were not allowed to do any research and were forced to build based on opinions of those two monkeys.
Turns out that the devs were really happy with their existing tools and our tool was another tool being forcefully added into their toolbox by the said XLT/LT.
Not only that, even if they decide to use our tool, out of pressure, they still cannot because the product was missing key capabilities like audit control and promotion from one environment to another.
Building those would essentially mean reinventing Github aka version control and Spinnaker aka CI/CD pipeline.
My new boss (I got 3 managers in 4 months because of high attrition across levels due to the toxic culture), thinks that tech XLT/LT are doing great and we all suck as a product and design team.
He started driving things his own way without even understanding or settling down for first 90 days.
Lol, I put in my resignation got out of that mess.
So agreeing to what our boy said here, no code tools are a complete waste, especially for a developer, and even as a non tech person, I prefer keyboard over mouse.2 -
Seriously, fuck Discord's new community guidelines! They now think they even own you outside of ther shady app:
"We may consider relevant off-platform behavior when assessing for violations of specific Community Guidelines."
Addressing harmful off-plattform behavior:
https://discord.com/blog/...
"When we talk about off-platform behaviors, we’re referring to any behaviors taking place outside of Discord, either in other digital spaces or in a physical community. If we become aware of specific off-platform, high-harm behaviors with credible evidence committed by a person with a Discord account, we will take the off-platform harmful behavior into consideration when assessing whether that account has violated a specific Community Guideline."
"We are applying this off-platform behavior consideration only if we become aware of highest-harm threats, including using Discord for organizing, promoting, or supporting violent extremism; making threats of violence; and sexualizing children in any way."
Yeah, suure...
Why does every fucking internet company think that they own their users?17 -
Why do companies boast of their “high hiring bar”? At this point, I start having double thoughts about the company as soon as I see that phrase. Maybe it’s me, but it sounds somehow.10
-
I really despise solving competitive programming problems.
I truly believe it's okay to struggle with them and that people have different abilities. But these kind of problems are an easy way to make you hate yourself and think of yourself less.
I can't solve this problem --> I'm not a good programmer --> I'm not smart enough --> I'm not good enough like my peers who work at FA*G companies, ...
I know these interview problems are a filter and that recruiting is hard and the demand is always high and that they are nothing like the real work but, the reality is, you need to prepare if you want to get into one of the big companies with better perks and maybe better projects.3 -
What the fuck are some people doing at this line of work.. Our former product owner, half a year later, creates a high priority bug ticket of a faulty user flow WHEN HE WAS WITH THE TEAM MAKING THE SPECS FOR THIS FUCKING FEATURE! YOU FUCKING NUMBSKULL DIMWITTED CUNT! THIS IS NOT A BUG IT IS AS YOU FUCKING MORONS WANTED IT! SO FUCKING PISSED AT READING TICKETS LIKE THIS BY MORONS LIKE THIS!7
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Holy retarded internet company. The fiber cable that comes from the power pole lost its connection to the building I live in. So the fiber was laying on the ground in the parking lot. The upside is it is still working. The problem is people are going to run over the fiber and break it. So I sent an email to the ISP on Thursday. They didn't create a ticket all day on Friday. By the time I got home they were not open. I called their tech support number and pressed 0 until I got a real person. I explained they need to fix this soon or it will get broken. They said "I understand" and then proceeded to create a ticket for fucking wednesday next week! I told them it will damaged by then. They said "I understand". Then I get a text saying they will do this wednesday. No you stupid fuckers, you do not understand!
Queue the McGuiver music:
I got out some steel wire I use to fix stupid shit like this. I made a hook to connect the steel cable holding the fiber. This hook will go around some exposed electrical conduit. Then I got a board to lift it up high (no ladder and 5 inches thick of ice on ground). I cannot balance wire hook on board and get it to slip down. So I got a steel pole I have and attached another hook with electrical tape. As I passed the hook over the conduit I used other pole to grab bottom of hook and pull it down to keep a hold of the conduit. Now the fiber is up in the air again above the parking lot. I hope this stupid hack works until wednesday. My right arm hurts like hell cause the strain of holding the fiber taut while I pulled the hook down. It strained my right hand.
Worst customer service on the planet with Century Stink. They fucking make it harder than hell to get help and it seems they take almost a week to fix shit.4 -
This is the third part of my ongoing series "The Ballad of the Six Witchers and the Undocumented Java Tool".
In this part, we have the massive Battle of Sparks and Storms.
The first part is here: https://devrant.com/rants/5009817/...
The second part is here: https://devrant.com/rants/5054467/...
Over the last couple sprints and then some, The Witcher Who Writes and the Butchers of Jarfile had studied the decompiled guts of the Undocumented Java Beast and finally derived (most of) the process by which the data was transformed. They even built a model to replicate the results in small scale.
But when such process was presented to the Priests of Accounting at the Temple of Cash-Flow, chaos ensued.
This cannot be! - cried the priests - You must be wrong!
Wrong, the Witchers were not. In every single test case the Priests of Accounting threw at the Witchers, their model predicted perfectly what would be registered by the Undocumented Java Tool at the very end.
It was not the Witchers. The process was corrupted at its essence.
The Witchers reconvened at their fortress of Sprint. In the dark room of Standup, the leader of their order, wise beyond his years (and there were plenty of those), in a deep and solemn voice, there declared:
"Guys, we must not fuck this up." (actual quote)
For the leader of the witchers had just returned from a war council at the capitol of the province. There, heading a table boarding the Archpriest of Accounting, the Augur of Economics, the Marketing Spymaster and Admiral of the Fleet, was the Ciefoh Seat himself.
They had heard rumors about the Order of the Witchers' battles and operations. They wanted to know more.
It was quiet that night in the flat and cloudy plains of Cluster of Sparks and Storms. The Ciefoh Seat had ordered the thunder to stay silent, so that the forces of whole cluster would be available for the Witchers.
The cluster had solid ground for Hive and Parquet turf, and extended from the Connection River to farther than the horizon.
The Witcher Who Writes, seated high atop his war-elephant, looked at the massive battle formations behind.
The frontline were all war-elephants of Hadoop, their mahouts the Witchers themselves.
For the right flank, the Red Port of Redis had sent their best connectors - currency conversions would happen by the hundreds, instantly and always updated.
The left flank had the first and second army of Coroutine Jugglers, trained by the Witchers. Their swift catapults would be able to move data to and from the JIRA cities. No data point will be left behind.
At the center were thousands of Sparks mounting their RDD warhorses. Organized in formations designed by the Witchers and the Priestesses of Accounting, those armoured and strong units were native to this cloudy landscape. This was their home, and they were ready to defend it.
For the enemy could be seen in the horizon.
There were terabytes of data crossing the Stony Event Bridge. Hundreds of millions of datapoints, eager to flood the memory of every system and devour the processing time of every node on sight.
For the Ciefoh Seat, in his fury about the wrong calculations of the processes of the past, had ruled that the Witchers would not simply reshape the data from now on.
The Witchers were to process the entire historical ledger of transactions. And be done before the end of the month.
The metrics rumbled under the weight of terabytes of data crossing the Event Bridge. With fire in their eyes, the war-elephants in the frontline advanced.
Hundreds of data points would be impaled by their tusks and trampled by their feet, pressed into the parquet and hive grounds. But hundreds more would take their place. There were too many data points for the Hadoop war-elephants alone.
But the dawn will come.
When the night seemed darker, the Witchers heard a thunder, and the skies turned red. The Sparks were on the move.
Riding into the parquet and hive turf, impaling scores of data points with their long SIMD lances and chopping data off with their Scala swords, the Sparks burned through the enemy like fire.
The second line of the sparks would pick data off to be sent by the Coroutine Jugglers to JIRA. That would provoke even more data to cross the Event Bridge, but the third line of Sparks were ready for it - those data would be pierced by the rounds provided by the Red Port of Redis, and sent back to JIRA - for good.
They fought for six days and six nights, taking turns so that the battles would not stop. And then, silence. The day was won, all the data crushed into hive and parquet.
Short-lived was the relief. The Witchers knew that the enemy in combat is but a shadow of the troubles that approach. Politics and greed and grudge are all next in line. Are the Witchers heroes or marauders? The aftermath is to come, and I will keep you posted.4 -
Looking around where I work, I'm reminded of when I was young and ambitious, like all the other kids around me at the time, with a dislike for all the older dudes and dudettes in upper management. With the exception of three other guys around my age, everyone, including the CEO, was in high school, middle school, elementary school, or not even born yet when I started my career. Just like them, I was plucky and chatty and (trying to be) funny and social. I didn't know how fast I would go from that set to the old fat guy that they look askance at and wonder how I'm still around with my weird ways and "boomerish", socially retarded behavior. What's really galling is that I'm solidly Gen X, like some of them, but I guess I talk more like a Boomer because my parents were older when I was born and I was kinda raised in that mindset. I'm the office schlub now. A man out of my time. And I've never been in any kind of upper management, even. I am Kevin Malone.3
-
Request I saw today...
* A new, empty AWS Account
* The ability to run 120 high memory EC2 instances, including up to 80 instances of dl1.24xlarge, but don't worry, 40 of them will be spot instances. I'll probably just start with two m5.xlarge for simplicity.
* VPC Peering into our primary AWS network
* VPC Peering into a 3rd party's network (because we're paying them for this service)
* A couple cross-acount IAM roles
* Granting "AWS: AdministratorAccess" to said IAM roles
I'm a bit behind schedule, and this is urgent. When will you have this completed?2 -
this year i finally found a job where I don't feel like dying, and it pays well. things are going so smoothly that I'm a bit weirded out, in a good way.
the work as a dev requires creativity and is mentally exhausting, but i got a nice routine going on (not a lot of programming, mostly database maintenance), and even with the high pressure I'm still fine :) -
It is incredible how Google got big with good webdesign and now manages to build the shittiest frontends.
It's not enough that YouTube is super slow and breaks every other time I use the "back" button in the browser. When it only forgot my language & theme settings every couple of months that was still too high quality for Google's dogshit standards, so now they made another downgrade: Whenever I set another language it immediately resets it to the language Google thinks I should speak, and at the same time resets the region to where Google thinks I live. Oh, and I have to disable autoplay for every video individually now cause who the fuck uses cookies nowadays right?
Do they also change the language if I travel to another country because those fucks never leave Silicon Valley and can't comprehend that concept?
Google is the Microsoft of web design.4 -
Interesting.. When I'm on sugar rush, my phone screen starts flickering. But just to me - noone else. Could be high blood sugar increases eyes' photosensors' refresh rate.
Could explain why lots of devs are troubled by 60hz monitors while others aren't9 -
I have noticed I have had great success using another co-worker as a metaphorical rubber duck (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally). It improves my productivity vastly. However, I know that it probably distracts others when I am using them in that way.
That's why I want to buy a literal rubber duck and talk to it. I could do it very quietly and most of my close co-workers use noise-cancelling headphones 80% of time while sitting at their desks. My only concern is other people passing by my desk would think that I am weird. My desk is in an open space and several people pass by it every hour. (however on my floor besides developers we have HR, marketing and people from high up who might be unfamiliar with the rubber duck method).
Is it unprofessional to talk to a rubber duck at the office?4 -
I think I've reached some kind of job nirvana. My coworkers and I all complain about our work. We're overworked, underappreciated, underpaid, and and have to deal with all sorts of bullshit all the time. Pretty much everyone who has been on the team longer than a year is talking about quitting.
But I started at this company as a level 1 tech support phone technician before I transferred into the DevOps side of things, and that tech support job was SO much worse. Way more stressful, way less pay, mandatory overtime, horrible scheduling, being forced to remain calm while people hurl insults at you over the phone, and it was a dead-end job with a high turnover rate and almost no opportunities for advancement of any kind.
And every time I think back on that job, I realize that what I have now is actually pretty great. I'm paid well (still underpaid for the job I do, but catching up really fast due to my current boss giving me several big raises to keep me from quitting lol). I deal only with other tech people like developers and data scientists so no more listening to salesmen insult me on the phone. I'm not in any sort of customer service role so I can call people on their bullshit as long as I'm professional about it. I'm salaried so they can't make me work horrible shifts. 99% of my days are a normal 9-5 workday. I actually have a reliable schedule to plan around.
People treat me like the adult that I am.
I'd get a similar experience at other, better-paying companies, for sure, but what I have now is still pretty great.
I'm sure I'll be back in a few days to rant about more nonsensical bullshit and stress, but for now I'm feeling the zen. -
How to avoid death from Covid 19 and vaccines, a hypothesis to explain my near death experience and what to expect for the future, by a concerned citizen.
The important variables at play:
My weight = 220lb, overweight by 50lb say.
My muscle mass = very low, I can lift 25lb.
My age = 50+
Blood pressure = High, but not quite high enough to need treatment, on the edge.
Diabetic condition = Not.
Now lets introduce 3 Covid 19 vaccinations.
1st, no real effects to worry us.
2nd, no real effects to worry us.
3rd... bad effects..
I ponder, was the 3rd shot, maybe from a more potent batch, hadn't deteriorated in transit as much as the previous 2 ?
Did I also catch another version of Covid 19 at the same time ?
Was my fairly rare variables the result of which I now appear to have diabetic symptoms..
Has this damaged me enough that it won't just get better on its own, and my options are to, lose weight, gain muscle mass, and perhaps try a fasting diet ( Shown to work in mice.. ) in an effort to regrow my insulin-producing cells ?
So for those of you out there like me, suggestions:
Lose weight.
Gain muscle mass.
Self isolate 4 weeks before vaccine, and 4 weeks afterwards.
Try to be at the back of the queue for vaccines so yours has aged a bit and isn't quite so potent.
Thoughts ?42 -
Ready for another look into my JIRA life?
Ticket Title: "The 'Selected photos' setting will result in users being able to select only one photo at a time."
Ticket Description: "This is not directly a bug, because this problem is caused by the selected setting. Here one would have to consider to give this option no more and/or with an error message the user on it to make attentive, how he can change the attitude."
I don't even have to worry about NDA in this one because it makes absolutely no sense.
BTW, we don't have a single text in the app with the words "selected photos"
99% sure the creator of this ticket wrote it when they were high, drunk, or bothrant no pride in our work what is the english language? fuckall end my existence please jira not needed4 -
!RANT
Web Devs - I need your opinions.
To make a long story short, when my fiancé and I first moved in together I changed cities. One day at the grocery store we ran in to one of his old buddies, whom I had never met. His buddy works as a counselor at a non profit organization for mental illness. His friend asked me some questions to get to know me and found out I was a web developer. He instantly got exited and told us they needed a new website for their non profit, and asked me what I charged. Being shy, put on the spot, newer to the industry (uncomfortable talking $ due to inexperience) and seeing the guy was paralyzed I felt I HAD to say yes. I also said I would consider donating the site to them, as I knew my other web dev friends had done that for other non profits.
They were easy to work with and the build went smooth. We chose Wordpress so that they could go in and update the site on their own. I was under the assumption that I would create the site for them, but that they would take care of changes on their own, that I wouldn't be "supporting it". I even trained the friend 2-3xs on how to use Wordpress and make changes, but they ALWAYS have changes every month, including slides and content creation. Being a noob at the time, I KNOW it's my fault for not being more clear on the I'll build it but not make changes thing, and I've tried to kind of get them to see that I'm too busy, politely.
We'll, 3+ years later I've now found success in a different career path that takes up ALL of my free time after my 9-5 corporate web dev position, and am no longer interested nor able to do freelance work, including supporting existing sites. Since we don't have a contract in place, and they've never given me a cent, i was thinking of giving them a notice at the end of this month saying as of 2018 I will no longer be able to take care of their website, and that they'll have to find someone else by that time? I feel bad because it's a non profit and they don't have a lot of money. I'm afraid they won't find someone else nor be able to afford it. The situation is a little more sticky since this is my fiancés friend and I don't want them to feel like I'm leaving them high and dry, cuz I know they're very thankful for the site. I just wish they understood that I never promised to do changes for them every month. Even if they offered me money, I just don't have the time. I'm 100% fine if they want to keep the site and my code, although they really could use a redesign anyways cuz my code back then was terrible. What are your thoughts on this? Is 5 months fair? Am I doing the right thing?8 -
Dev: Sends weekly update email on Friday, as drudgingly required by management, outlining that stress level is high recently in the past two weeks and constant polling for feedback and updates is stressing him out, needs to slow down the pace
Management: (ON A FUCKING SATURDAY): "Received your email @fullStackChris"
WOW! THANKS FOR THAT INSIGHTFUL UPDATE! I BET YOU DID! I HAVE NO DOUBT GOOGLE'S SMTP SERVERS ARE RUNNING PROPERLY. AND AFTER READING IT, YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO @ ME IN A WHATSAPP MESSAGE. ON A FUCKING SATURDAY. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU, I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE COMPANY OR ITS TASKS UNTIL MONDAY. PLEASE STOP.
I mean they must be fucking with me at this point, right guys? Maybe I should start writing stuff like "I need more tasks and more messages throughout the day" then I would probably receive less, I mean wtf is actually going on.7 -
When I was in high school, I was learning to code on my own. I showed my python code that I was really proud of to the girl I liked. she didn't understand what it is, she thinks its weird, she thinks I'm weird.
She has a point.3 -
A 20-Something: “Hey, why aren’t you dressing up on spirit week decades dress theme days in the office this week?”
“Because I lived in all those decades and my childhood is not a costume.”
“Okaaaay…”
“Because when we dressed up for spirit week in high school we nerdy kids would always get made fun of by the jocks and cheerleaders because we didn’t get the memo that spirit week was only for the cool kids. I have trauma I’m still working through because of that.”
“Geez, I…”
“Look, I got rid of all that shit years ago. Now I’m supposed to go to a thrift store and spend money I earned here for real world needs on 4 new sets of clothes I will wear one time each? That’s literally my gas money to get to this office in an inflated economy. No.”
Me. In my head. Coming up with things to explain myself when I show up at the office dressed like it’s a regular day.2 -
TL;DR; do your best all you like, strive to be the #1 if you want to, but do not expect to be appreciated for walking an extra mile of excellence. You can get burned for that.
They say verbalising it makes it less painful. So I guess I'll try to do just that. Because it still hurts, even though it happened many years ago.
I was about to finish college. As usual, the last year we have to prepare a project and demonstrate it at the end of the year. I worked. I worked hard. Many sleepless nights, many nerves burned. I was making an android app - StudentBuddy. It was supposed to alleviate students' organizational problems: finding the right building (city plans, maps, bus schedules and options/suggestions), the right auditorium (I used pictures of building evac plans with classes indexed on them; drawing the red line as the path to go to find the right room), having the schedule in-app, notifications, push-notifications (e.g. teacher posts "will be 15 minutes late" or "15:30 moved to aud. 326"), homework, etc. Looots of info, loooots of features. Definitely lots of time spent and heaps of new info learned along the way.
The architecture was simple. It was a server-side REST webapp and an Android app as a client. Plenty of entities, as the system had to cover a broad spectrum of features. Consequently, I had to spin up a large number of webmethods, implement them, write clients for them and keep them in-sync. Eventually, I decided to build an annotation processor that generates webmethods and clients automatically - I just had to write a template and define what I want generated. That worked PERFECTLY.
In the end, I spun up and implemented hundreds of webmethods. Most of them were used in the Android app (client) - to access and upsert entities, transition states, etc. Some of them I left as TBD for the future - for when the app gets the ADMIN module created. I still used those webmethods to populate the DB.
The day came when I had to demonstrate my creation. As always, there was a commission: some high-level folks from the college, some guests from businesses.
My turn to speak. Everything went great, as reversed. I present the problem, demonstrate the app, demonstrate the notifications, plans, etc. Then I describe at high level what the implementation is like and future development plans. They ask me questions - I answer them all.
I was sure I was going to get a 10 - the highest score. This was by far the most advanced project of all presented that day!
Other people do their demos. I wait to the end patiently to hear the results. Commission leaves the room. 10 minutes later someone comes in and calls my name. She walks me to the room where the judgement is made. Uh-oh, what could've possibly gone wrong...?
The leader is reading through my project's docs and I don't like the look on his face. He opens the last 7 pages where all the webmethods are listed, points them to me and asks:
LEAD: What is this??? Are all of these implemented? Are they all being used in the app?
ME: Yes, I have implemented all of them. Most of them are used in the app, others are there for future development - for when the ADMIN module is created
LEAD: But why are there so many of them? You can't possibly need them all!
ME: The scope of the application is huge. There are lots of entities, and more than half of the methods are but extended CRUD calls
LEAD: But there are so many of them! And you say you are not using them in your app
ME: Yes, I was using them manually to perform admin tasks, like creating all the entities with all the relations in order to populate the DB (FTR: it was perfectly OK to not have the app completed 100%. We were encouraged to build an MVP and have plans for future development)
LEAD: <shakes his head in disapproval>
LEAD: Okay, That will be all. you can return to the auditorium
In the end, I was not given the highest score, while some other, less advanced projects, were. I was so upset and confused I could not force myself to ask WHY.
I still carry this sore with me and it still hurts to remember. Also, I have learned a painful life lesson: do your best all you like, strive to be the #1 if you want to, but do not expect to be appreciated for walking an extra mile of excellence. You can get burned for that. -
So this might be a very long post , but i am sure most of you can relate to it .
So , the year end . Time of joy and appraisals right?You have slogged your ass off the entire year and are expecting amazing ratings.Then boom , your piece of shit sadist manager starts of his review by saying 'there are worrysome things to discuss' after not saying shit for the entire year . I am pretty new to corporate , in fact 1 year old , still managed to handle devops for a team of 130+ , majority of whom have no work apart from playing a blame game and indulging in cheap politics. I mean , bro , I am literally your son's age , i dont see the point in playing this cheap shit with me.On top of that this sadist and borderline piece of shit manager has the audacity to say that I did not raise any blockers , while I have CCed him in every fucking mail possible.How big of an a****** can you be bro?
I counter his points for 40 45 mins straight ,leaving him stuck without words for solid 10 to 15 seconds many times during the 'review meet'. This guy is in the same place working on the same shit code , which 90% of this community can't even think of. Every thing is bloody manual and apparently ' I should have tried to streamline the entire f**** process' . Cool bro , why not open a startup while I am at it ?
Then this piece of poop gives me a rating which is just above the inconsistent performer bracket :) .
I just dont get the points what do these people get by giving shit ratings and not even having valid points to back up their fuck all arguments.This guy , throughout the duration of the call did not say 1 (bloody 1 ) good thing about my efforts. Past context is majority of the smart people who were literally running their pods single handedly , were under him and were fed up with not getting hikes and appraisals.Apart from me ,everyone resigned and left with hikes as high as 50% (LOL right).
But I have a year of experience and its really difficult to perform well in 4 rounds of bs compititive coding rounds, after which I get the generic ' oh you did well bro but we are moving on with other candidates' (FFS) .
I pray that even my worst enemies don't get such managers and I hope he rots in hell.
Amen and sorry for the cussing :) -
So today is my last day working in [censored] company. Even though today is the last day and they have my replacement, they still expect me to complete the project 'NOW'. So I decided to make it quick the way it supposedly was. He wanted me to do tonnes of adjustments.
To prevent me from getting more stressed over satisfying my boss' requirements or meeting my boss' expectations, I made the app return the screenshot of the design. So I screenshot the design and render it to the app. So far that's the fastest route I can think of.
I really do not want to do this. But he left me no choice due to his impatient and adamant behaviour. That's why I decided to haste the project by returning the screenshot. (To be honest, this is unprofessional and dishonest, but he left me no other choice to violate my principles).
We argued about the negotiation with regard of the timeline for the deliverance of the project, I proposed 6 months countless times. He constantly denied that I did not negotiate with him. Unfortunately, the 'negotiation' defined by his action is merely a projection of an illusion of negotiating, but whatever is discussed on the table will deliberately fall into his idea and unrealistic high expectations.
Working in this company caused me damages beyond repair. My 4 weeks in this company were my worst nightmare. I don't get enough sleep due to the constant stress from the employer to complete the project in the 'immediately' phase. I brought these issues afore the table for the discussion. He simply deny it and blame it all on me, saying 'that it was my own negligence, to the company. I do not subscribe to his methodology of handling stress, by working more and contributing more to the company as passionate as possible. I am passionate about what I do and my position, what I do not passionate about is being unreasonable, ignorant, delusional and inhumane.
I learnt my lesson now. I vow to myself that In the future if I have the opportunity to be a team leader, my former employer is not and never be someone who can be my role model as a leader.
Refer: https://devrant.com/rants/5379920/...4 -
Me walking down the corridors of my building after hours, singing full on out loud (I can actually sing)
Lyrics(by yours truly homage to Mika)
I wanna talk to you!
The last time we talked, Mr. Smith, you reduced me to tears
I promise you it won't happen again!
Do I attract you? Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty? Am I too flirty? Do I like what you like?
I could be wholesome, I could be loathsome, I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me without making me try?
Some voice at the other side of the building: "who is there singing???!"
Me:
"I tried to be like Grace Kelly!!"
"but all her looks are too sad"
"so I tried a little Freddy MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
"I've gone identity maaaaaaaaaaaad"
then I walked inside of my office and stopped spooking the janitors. Really wish someone would join in and helped me sing the high note parts of the song really. I've got no audience here smfh -
real story. In high school, a librarian (women) recommended me a book. I read it in classroom, it was fine for the first half and then.... the real story began.
It was 50 shades of grey.
It's been about 4 years. I'll soon be completing bachelors. And I've yet to return the book, out of shyness.9 -
Worst was getting head hunted into my current role at this terrific company.
Three months later I’m done with it.
It’s not shit shitty codebase, or the lack of direction that self governing teams have. It’s not the megalomaniac company owner. It’s the bullshit team mobbing and 8 hours of video calls a day.
The best part.
Come he’ll or high water I’m getting myself out before the end of the year.
I’d rather be busy and have f’k all chance of promotion than any more of this. At least the day will fly by.
Just hope I don’t make the same mistake twice, that’s become my biggest worry now. -
I can be manipulated. Yes, I’m now more resilient to manipulation than ever because I’m autistically good at recognising patterns, yet I’m not perfect.
For a manipulator, there is just one problem — now and then, my disorder obliterates my entire worldview, together with the foreign manipulative framework, so I can start with a blank slate. It protects me. Yes, this protection is akin to our body’s “we’ll boil all the germs in our own blood” tactic that instead of defining winners and losers only leave survivors, yet the force is unstoppable. You cannot secure the land that is hit by a tornado every three months.
That inner Nemesis is so strong that it even defeated a complex, almost fractal-like manipulation of my own mother that I lived in since birth, leaving her with a wound that will never heal. Wannabe manipulator exes didn’t even stand a chance. I don’t care if that force destroys me or not, as during that time, there is no “me”.
About my mom, long story short, she told me “I want to stop treating my cancer to die as soon as possible just to not see you anymore” after my coming-out. Full story is here:
- part 1: https://devrant.com/rants/4923052/...
- part 2: https://devrant.com/rants/4924040/...7 -
Maybe I am just sensitive.. but sometimes I feel that my new manager is being a little harsh on me.
Again, he might behave the same with everyone and I am assuming that it's just me.
1.5 months in the new job and not a single good comment/feedback I recieved from him. It's not that he criticises me or my work, or calls me a dumbass.
But whenever I submit anything for review, I get a ton of feedback where he expects everything to extreme precision.
He guides me, explains me post my failure, and has specific pointers of what he wants/how he wants things.
But all I am given is a set of documents to read initially with an expectation that I have to figure things out. When I am not upto the mark, he then guides me.
Why I worry?
1. I am on probation and this place is a start-up, don't want to get fired.
2. They got me as a Sr PM (which was also my previous role where I excelled), so I fear that expectations would be high from me. Failing to deliver those might get me in trouble.
3. He isn't a micro manager and quite supportive, but his communication style isn't working for me (so far).
Somehow, as always, I am getting along well with everyone in the org and everyone is talking good about me.
But with my immediate boss, the imposter syndrome kicks in real hard and I am super insecure. Every time I have to interact with him, I get super stressed and anxious.
I know things take time, but given that I am a Sr PM (and my boss expects me to be a lead PM, a position higher than current), I feel if the expectations are not delivered then I might get fucked.5 -
Here is a weird fact I have been thinking about this evening:
Helio X20 was the only mainstream ARM processor that had 10 CPU cores. It was first introduced in 2015, however no more ARM processors with high core count were used since then..
Nowadays smartphone processors have `8` cores max 🤔🧐
I guess 8 cores the reasonable limit for smartphones. Must have something to do with cost-to-performance factor5 -
I found my some documents about my dad on Ancestry and showed them to him because they’re things he’d like to see. His high school yearbook photo. His college yearbook photo. The flight manifest from when his family came over from Puerto Rico.
He was happy to see these. He doesn’t have his yearbooks because they’re not things he would have been able to afford at the time. The flight manifest helped put some memories together because he was a little boy when his family moved.
He did get a little freaked out when I explained why Ancestry had these things. But I think that outweighs the joy of discovery.1 -
Man I am tired of my company's dogshit software release process.
We have to commit to fucking estimates for 6 months (2 quarters), SQA shadowing dev by 2 weeks, and freaking estimates and work done at the end are not even close. And then we call it a minor release. These shitty estimates are based on requirements that basically say "we want feature x, plz make it work". It's some fucked up agilefall garbage that does not work for shit.
We rush like motherfuckers during the final weeks because estimates are bullshit but we are still expected to be done with every story points which somehow are days instead of other better metrics.
I swear this fucking bullshit has been designed by the board so they could plan their money entries based on the software release.
The only reason this company actually still holds itself up is because the engineers are good at their job.
Go fuck yourself high management. -
How to Stop #war in #ukraine and #russia? Easy. Just burn a big bush of #cannabis / #weed to the atmosphere, you will see both sides are high AF.
Maybe they both will get high instead of war.
I am John Melody, I want to represent you.1 -
How do I push a hiring offer to later and say no?
Context:
I work at company A and the manager, let's call her Jane, who hired me at company A, left shortly after to join company B at a senior executive level (very high up the ladder in a public company).
After few months, I decide to quit company A and started my job hunt. I received a job offer from company C.
Now, my relationship with Jane was super awesome. Jane was very supportive and thought very highly of me. She offered to write a LoR (letter of recommendation ) for me whenever I needed it.
Now, out of courtesy and maintaining the relationship, I mentioned to Jane that I quit company A and will be joining company C.
To which she immediately mentioned that she could hire me and setup my connect with one of the hiring managers in her team. We had our initial conversation and they skipped second stage (since I got a very high reference) and moved to final stage of the interview.
Now, I am not really keen on joining this company B as it will also require me to move outside of the country to a different timezone.
At the same time I don't want to sabotage my relationship with Jane and make sure I keep my options/doors open for some collaboration in future.
How do I go about telling Jane (and the team) that for now, I am focusing on joining company C and would like to explore the opportunity with her company/team in future, without damaging my professional image?11 -
Best:
Seeing ALL the members of my team finally coming into their own. One person tackled our entire not-at-all-simple CI/CD setup from scratch knowing nothing about any of it and, while not without bumps in the road, did an excellent job overall (and then did the same for some other projects since he found himself being the SME). Two of my more junior people took on some difficult tasks that required them to design and build some tricky features from the ground-up, rather than me giving them a ton of guidance, design and even a start on the basic code early on (I just gave them some general descriptions of what I was looking for and then let them run with it). Again, not without some hiccups, but they ultimately delivered and learned a lot in the process and, I think, gained a new sense of self-confidence, which to me is the real win. And my other person handled some tricky high-level stuff that got him deep in the weeds of all the corporate procedures I'd normally shield them all from and did very well with it (and like the other person, wound up being an SME and doing it for some other projects after that). It took a while to get here, but I finally feel like I don't need to do all the really difficult stuff myself, I can count on them now, and they, I think, no longer feel like they're in over their heads if I throw something difficult at them.
Worst:
A few critical bugs slipped into production this year, with a few requiring some after-hours heroics to deal with (and, unfortunately, due to the timing, it all fell on me). Of course, that just tells us that next year we really need to focus on more robust automated testing (though, in reality, at least one of the issues almost certainly would not - COULD NOT - have been caught before-hand anyway, and that's probably true for more than just one of them). We had avoided major issues the previous three years we've been live, so this was unusual. Then again, it's in a way a symptom of success because with more users and more usage, both of which exploded this year, typically does come more issues discovered, so I guess it tempers the bad just a little bit.2 -
Was working on a high priority security feature. We had an unreasonable timeline to get all of the work done. If we didn’t get the changes onto production before our deadline we faced the possibility of our entire suit being taken offline. Other parts of the company had already been shut down until the remediations could be made -so we knew the company execs weren’t bluffing.
I was the sole developer on the project. I designed it, implemented it, and organized the efforts to get it through the rest of the dev cycle. After about 3 month of work it was all up and bug free (after a few bugs had been found and squashed). I was exhausted, and ended up taking about a week and a half off to recharge.
The project consisted of restructuring our customized frontend control binding (asp.net -custom content controls), integrations with several services to replace portions of our data consumption and storage logic, and an enormous lift and shift that touched over 6k files.
When you touch this much code in such a short period of time it’s difficult to code review, to not introduce bugs, and _to not stop thinking about what potential problems your changes may be causing in the background_.3 -
Question of the day:
What to do when listing fees on exchanges too high?
Answer:
Unicorn;)
And a happy new year (delayed though :p)!11 -
get a high priority bug , look at code changes, a variable name getting refactored apparently created a class cast exception
something about this hypothesis doesn't seem right
i hate my job, welcome back from vacation2 -
So, for the last year or so, we've been playing with a natural language A.I.
The goal was to predict port, truck and rail service disruption due to social unrest.
The trick here is that our AI would "read between the lines" of today's news articles and spit out keywords that were likely to appear in near future articles, thus giving us an early warning before some union or army start blockading roads.
It... did not work as intended. But some very weird results came out.
Apparently, we made a robotic "kid that screams that the emperor has no clothes", yielding unlikely (but somewhat expected) keywords when fed collections of articles.
We gave it marketing content about our company. It replied "high suicide rate".10 -
Here’s Mark Zuckerberg demonstrating Meta’s high-end Project Cambria VR headset
**Without showing the headset**
They forgot to pixelate the part where they showcase the product...
https://theverge.com/2022/5/...4 -
I don't understand why people drive with high beam on, even when it's not needed!
Is it only in India or anywhere else too?
Literally, I'm so frustrated with this shit.
This point should be the very first and most important in the list of the learning driving.12 -
I’ve become so indecisive in terms of knowing what I want from my career.
All I know is what I don’t want (to end up a in management)
I’m definitely getting a new job and right now it looks like I’ve got 3 offers on the table
Option 1, a previous company I worked for. Still the same problems with the company there as before but the work was interesting and unusual. and my line manager was a good guy.
They have practically no legacy code.
Not much in the way of company benefits but they’re local and it would be nice to see friends again.
So feels like the pull to this is strong.
Option 2, a fully remote company that I’ve been referred to by an ex-workmate.
They’ve not even tech tested me because they’ve read my blogs and GitHub repos instead and said they’re impress. So just had a conversation with them. I feel honoured that they took the time to look at what I’ve done in my own time and use that in their decision.
Benefits are slightly better than option 1 (more hols)
But they’re using .net 6 and get a lot of heavy use on their system and have some big customers. I think the work is integrations to start with and moving services into docker and azure.
Option 3, even though I’ve got an offer from this one but they can’t actually explain the work until We can arrange a call next week (they recruit and then work out what team your in, but Christmas got in the way of me having a call with them straight away)
It’s working on government systems and .net is their least used stack so probably end up switching to Java. Maybe other tech stacks too.
This place has much better benefits than option 1 and 2 (more hols and more pension), but 2 days a week in office.
All of the above pay the same salary.
Having choice feels almost as bad as having no choice.
It’s doing my head in thinking about it , (even tho I might as well not think about it at all until the call with option 3 happens).
On the one hand with option 3, using a tech stack that’s new to me might be refreshing, as I’ve done .net for 10 years.
On the other hand I really like c# and I’m very good at it. So it feels a bit like I should be capitalising on that and using my experience to shape how the dev is done. Not sure I and I can do that with option 3, at least for a while.
C# feels like it’s moving forward nicely and I’m not sure I can say the same for Java or other languages.
I love programming and learning new stuff but so unable to let things go. It’s like I have a fear that c# will move on without me and I’ll end up turning into one of those devs whose skills are a decade out of date.
Maybe the early years of my career formed me in this way.
Early on I worked at a company where there was a high number of Cobol devs who thought they had a job for life.
But then redundancies came and many left. Of those who stayed they had to cross train to Java and they just couldn’t do it.
I don’t think the tech was hard for them, I think they were just so used to not learning that they could no longer adapt.
Think most of them ended up retiring after trying to learn Java for a few years.10 -
some call
- yo bro do you have some time ?
- quick cause I'm taking a dump
- I think I have been hacked, got black screen kernel panick, linux freeze seldomly I have to reboot, no internet connexion
- save your stuff and reinstall linux
- I don't have enough stockage to backup
- Then buy one and save, probably either OS is fcked up or you have some hdd problems
Time that it will take: ~30min to reinstall whole shit
Peace duration: ~2years
Later on the same day
aunt
- I can't log into windows
- Did you change the password ?
- Yes but it does not work anymore
* looking at shit
* logs successfully. Reason: interface changed after automatic update.
* wait.
* wait some more so fucking windows fucking starts
* Desktop is ugly as fck.
* Some stupid settings messed up (like high contrast set, black theme or so)
aunt (the same)
- I can't log into my (other) laptop either
* logs
* wait more more more
Guess what: automatic updaaaates. Freezes 100%cpu
* Being a very experienced user: wait before reboot because this suckass os will probably fail to boot otherwise
* Blackscreen with a percentage: Installing updates...
* reboots
* Blackscreen with a percentage: Installing updates continuing...
* finally boot (feels like a miracle windows succeeds lol)
* still slow
aunt now sleeps
* look at running process and install programs
* sees shits like camera recognition (vendor installed), candycrush
* occasionnaly get adds
time lost: 2h
peace duration: ~3month
FFS I am a dev, not a fucking trash lover
It is already pain to fix someone os, but windows is the cream of cream
It brings no ease of use for novice user
It is so insanely slow
It has stupid settings set up by default!!!!!!!! Who FFS wants candycrush and ads
The maj are so fcking hazardous. It is 2022 pretty much the same as 15y back then. Updates take fucking eternity. And needs reboot. and are not even finished!!!
I swear I am gonna stretch my ass and install linux and any fckin other toolsuite needed so they can use Micro$$ word, which is the only fucking usecase they need windows for in the first case anyway
I SO wish this OS would die
I mean, even more than safari8 -
♫ It's high time we reviewed our design, ♫
♫ The code behind our system is just too byzantine, ♫
♫ We'll rewrite all the legacy and take it off line, ♫1 -
so, nfs most wanted 2005 used to be my most favorite pc game when i was in high school. I loved the gameplay that interaction with the player's girlfriend and those competition gangs and police.
I recently thought of relinquishing those memories so downloaded a rar file containing that game. it seems to work, but I can't hear any gameplay songs or see any cut scenes videos.
Does anyone have that game lying around? i would be grateful to get a zip having those videos /audio tracks. those gave such an amazing adraline rush. my current game folder is 2 gb and still doesn't play those songs.
another question . this whole game runs from a single location, but i think its setting some data somewhere else too. is it true? because i downloaded another zip file, extracted it and opened it from the 2nd location and still i get the same user that i created in the first one. any way to completely clear its cache?4 -
Since my XPS battery is dying I'm flirting with an idea of a new laptop. Requirements:
- 13" display
- 4k display (I'm so used to high-res that x1080 looks like accessibility mode)
- 16 (worst case), 32 (OK), 64 (possible?) GB RAM
- long battery life
- i7 or Ryzen equivalent (I need lots of ram, lots of computing power)
- plays nice with Linux
- GPU preferably integrated (don't need a separate GPU)
- ultrabook (small, compact, light) (I don't like to exercise while carrying it. God forbid I'd grow a muscle... )
- purrrrtty :)
So far the best candidate I've found is... XPS13 again :D The setup I'm after costs ~1.6k€ which is not that bad, really.
Is there anything else in the market that'd meet the criteria? Anything worth looking into? Better deals?21 -
Fuck ticketing systems man.. jumped from a good job that i previously thought was going to be a deadend and jobhopped to a new one with a significant salary increase. Problem is that The stress levels increased 5x, and there’s significant rush to complete tasks that have sub optimal descriptions to put it nicely. The problem with that is that the lead doesn’t have enough time to properly write them and catching him during work hours for him to explain them is sometimes impossible. Sitting in limbo with 4-5 tickets open, all of them with high priority and stresing the fuck out.7
-
Following on from my thread where I got wrecked for being brain damaged, and posting about dividing by zero, it is time for round two!
Lightening round: Electric boogaloo!
Episode 3: "Glutton for punishment"
You can read that thread here if you like or skip over.
https://devrant.com/rants/4931841/...
Can we divide by zero? Is there some representation where thats the case? And what are the implications if we can?
In this round Devranters, you will be challenged to determine if OP is 1. insane, 2. a genius, 3. high on mushrooms. One contestant will be eliminated. The winning team will get a bag of rice and sunscreen, while the other team will have to vote to send someone home from the island.
Get ready.
Heres the full rant because DR wouldn't post it for some reason:
https://pastebin.com/qBg80ujN42 -
So, Rust... I CAN'T STAND that after using Rust my programming languages standards got so f*cking high I end up ranting about stuff I'd gladly use before, like python, js, lua, C++, etc. Aside for Ruby, this one is a peach of a language, whoever hates Ruby must have a stone heart, she's lovely 🌹 her linter friend Rubocop though... I HATE RUBOCOP WITH ALL MY HEART.
-
Man apples been a lot of pressure. I’m either going to acclimate to this high stress environment or burn out. I’ve had to learn to deploy a k8s cluster and manage one in 3 months along side maintaining an app, shipping features and bug maintenance. They treat devs like special ops all in ones. It’s great experience and there are dead periods but the learning potential is a lot.2
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Never work on a feature which is too huge so it needs to be divided among multiple developers. Reason because there are high chances that one of the devs will do one or more of these:
- Follow his/her own coding style rather than what the system already follows.
- Write generic flows based on his/her part alone making it super difficult for rest to reuse.5 -
I've become so cynical during the pandemic. Got a message from some HR lady in LinkedIn, and while I am in no way looking for a new job, I looked up the company. They make one type of industrial devices and sell them around Europe. Rather low turnover.
I'm a pretty high skilled web developer / architect. I build highly scalable web based applications using cloud platforms. The message was obviously just copy pasted and sent to various people, but the initial reaction in my mind was to ask her where did she get the idea in her small little head to ask me to work for her shitty company instead of the one I'm working for now which has over 500 expert developers in various fields, incredibly interesting projects that you can take your pick from and in general one of the greatest work cultures ever with no corporate bullshit. Were you gonna pay me triple the money or what? because I still wouldn't do it.
I just messaged her that I'm not interested atm.4 -
17,000 USD a year?! That's outrageously high (for a Philippino)!! This dev must either be a god or they're ripping us off!
-
Anyone ever stay on a set of projects they knew were going to fail? I got pulled off of 3 major projects to help another team that was failing at their very high visibility project. I got that back on track, but then they needed to keep me on for stabilization work and to onboard some folks. Then they still kept me on and my projects all suffered. I was very vocal to management about my concerns. Finally, management recognized that my projects weren’t getting done so now I’m back on them. The thing is, now it’s probably too late and I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail to meet deadlines on all three (plus there’s scope creep of course). I want to just walk away from this hell hole, but I’ve made some promises to folks that helped me get the job that I wouldn’t be a job hopper (been here 4 years, and each year is worse than the last). I think I’m just going to do the best I can and see what happens - and try not to have a heart attack in the process.1
-
My fucking lazy-ass coworkers haven’t made meaningful progress on anything for months. I’m brought in as the tech lead and these stupid fucks didn’t work on any meaningful shit for literal months. Their manager was asleep at the wheel and their old tech leads apparently need months to make a couple of minor database changes.
So I’m brought in to fix it, and… surprise! They’re still lazy pedantic assholes. And they’re shocked - shocked - that people expect them to start completing a project or two per quarter. Like these dense motherfuckers thought that they could be the most annoying pedants this world has ever seen, and also do no work.
I could have done their whole 5 month project myself in a month. No joke. It’s incredibly simple. But somehow the overhead of coordinating people who A. don’t work very hard and B. assume that every ticket needs special attention and 6 hours of ponderous thought has eaten into the time we have.
I don’t respect them in the slightest. They’re such shitty developers. Whoever signed off on their hire was fucking high.5 -
First computer I saw was an Apple II running Oregon Trail in grade school. Then I played computer games on my uncles Apple IIe. The first home video game I ever saw was Pong. It was a device you hooked to the RF input on the TV. It had 2 paddles to control the input (single axis controllers). The first game console I played on was the Atari. The first computer I programmed was on a black and white Macintosh. Then the other programmers in my high school told me the PC was better. Well, it was better for learning IMO. That was with Windows 3.0. But the programming was Turbo Pascal in DOS. DOS gave you complete control of the machine. Better at the time for me learning to do graphics and sounds programming. The first computer I bought was a 386 and I played with VR programming. Made my own joysticks using the limited joystick port. Fun times learning electronics and software together.
-
Agile ways of working has us do more customer collaboration, but I just despise talking to business owners who are so stuck in their ways of thinking and working. Their opinion is that they're reached such a high level of efficiency, that learning new things and changing their way of thinking now is useless. Especially if they come from an industrial background. Often it takes a lot in me to not just explode in their face when I hear them claim how they know what's best for the product, while we developers try to advocate that we need user feedback to know what the outcome of something is.
-
“Lazy mom lazy wow” presented by Gail Swanlund was probably the most impactful piece of art to me.
Through simplistic form, this art piece presents the idea of caring about oneself and quit the eternal rat race for money. But somehow for its metaphor, Lazy mom lazy wow chooses the notion and aesthetics of death and decay. The closest analogy I can think of is the music of American Football. Some kind of liminal, eerie aesthetics. Also, the movie Gummo and the game Life is Strange, part one.
The piece deliberately avoids being aggressive and celebrating its notion. It’s not “quit the rat race and celebrate because life is so good”, it’s “quit the rat race by putting yourself into coma so nothing matters anymore”. The descent into eternal comfort of realization that you don’t have to do anything anymore, but also sorrow of losing meaning.
It feels like launching Counter-Strike Source in the year 2051, only to walk around cs_office and realize there are no players anymore, and they will not return ever again. The sense of watching an old VHS tape of you having a conversation with your mom in the hospital as she’s counting her last days because of cancer. The sense of comfort of coming back to your hometown. You remember your childhood and your high school crush, only to realize that those moments won’t happen ever again. -
ugh... laptops are like , crazy addictions.
1 year ago, my hp laptop was the best for me, building android studio apps , keeping daily backups of all my home's appliances comfortably in it, running games and various softwares . i would carry it anywhere without fearing of any damage thanks to heavy cases and keyboard covers.
till i started my first job who gave me an intel mac to work with.I got a revised definition of a laptop. laptops are not what i knew .
- a laptop is something which does not take 20+ minutes to build android apps and can build in 60 seconds too
- a laptop is something which does not need to have a shitty plastic body and can have a high quality metal body.
- a laptop is something which does not need to have a shitty screen and can have a really clear (but fragile /s) HQ screen.
and
- a laptop is something which does not necessarily gives you ports. /s
- a laptop is something which does not necessarily needs large storage to store your stuff. /s
- INR 60K (or half of my 1st year college fees) isn't apparently not enough for a laptop
- a laptop can cost TONS to get fixed /s
.....
now , i did have learned all this and even after all the flaws , i feel like inclined towards buying a macbook. however coming from a typical lower class family from india , who DID break a laptop screen in 1 year, i am having some serious concerns buying a laptop , a 16 inch piece of aluminium for 300K (almost the cost of my four years of graduation)
but compared to that , i also have concerns buying any laptop above 100k because that's a lot of money , even though I could afford it. the whole point is, my non tech grocery seller parents worked too hard for very less money . i am in tech profile, i believe my work is not that much physically intensive, and i work half as hard as those guys , nd earn good yet spending SO MUCH feels like being an idiot
oh the headache :/11 -
What getting an AWS solutions architect certification got me:
Acceptance into the 4 top high schools in the area( one of which being in the top 5 public schools in the United States)
2 internships/apprenticeships
1 opportunity at the local college for some research experience
Vasts amounts of knowledge about servers and back end technologies I have never known about
And of course, the most important one, getting all the aunties attention at parties
People like to say that certifications don’t help but they get your foot into the door, it’s up to you to do the rest of the work3 -
Partial thoughts, are thoughts that sound like they should have more to them. However they are intentionally left short to create a sense that more is to come. This creates a state of anxiety in people and their desire for closure. The sentence is more effective if you say the last part of the sentence with an increasing pitch. This indicates there is more to the story. When in fact there is no more to the story.
Here is an example:
"I saw this guy walking down the street..."
People will automatically assume there is more to this story. So they will say something like, "And then what?" The response is: "That is it. That is what I saw." This is the peak time of frustration. They may even argue with you or storm away. Be prepared to be called names.
There is actually some history behind this.
...
Hehe, no, I am not going to leave you high and dry. In high school a dude I knew would always make fun of my friend. So I started doing these partial stories to the dude. He would get mad and storm off each time. I would do this several times per day. So it can be a tactic to deal with difficult people. -
these backend devs are high in something else.
sometimes it is articleid, other times it is id, and the latest one articleRefereceId for the same thing.1 -
hey uh, this is a rant about phantom forces, if you don't know what it is, look it up, anyways, that's really it.
so, i've been playing this game very actively called phantom forces and its a good game but its been ruined and the fun has pretty much been taken away. the community is dead and terrible, the developers don't care and the game is just falling off.
what i consider community is the youtube scene, and now as of january 1st, 2022, there's nothing left that's actually interesting besides godstatus and moons fps studio. honestly, its so dry and i'm sick of it.
i'm tired of seeing shitty best setup videos and gun reviews. i hate somesteven and strider and then, there's nothing to actually watch so i just watch brain-numbing shitty videos about stuff.
and then theres the developers, stylis studios is a great development team, i'll give you that but the sheer ignorance of their team is so fucking much.
its kinda obvious they don't really care about adding new features or anything new that isn't guns and its fucking sickening. just to see the same old updates, every fucking month man, its annoying and tiring.
i'm fucking tired of just seeing ape shit guns that are too high for regular players to actually unlock. like i know they're trying to please the growing number of 200+ rank users but its terrible, they haven't done a gun below rank 200 or 100 in forever. the last time they did it was like 6 months ago or something.
we've been asking for shit for years and they haven't given it to us and its fucking tiring. asking for daily quests, new features, more grips, vehicles and shit like that is obviously never gonna happen and thats the fucking problem. they don't care about their community.
but anyways, thats really all i want to say, might make a follow up post later. if you want to add your 2 cents down in the comments, you can do that. bye2 -
I don't know if my Ubuntu system is on high or anything, but I realized that if you remove a package, you also lose your ability to install it again.
For example, when I remove a package called `dmd`, and search it, it just shows the package `dmd` without any description, with the tag `residual-config`. And if I try to install it, it will split an error back to me, says that the package `dmd` doesn't have any release candidate. And if I `purge` it, it will magically vanish when I search it, and install it will just say `No apt package "dmd"`.5 -
I just got the new ARM-based macbook. I was shocked that the menu bar is sooo fucking high now, and that there is a gap between the menubar and the maximized app.
How can this be? Are they totally nuts over there at Apple? I bet Steve would fire the responsible person immediately.
Is it really that hard to be somewhat pixel-perfect?
This looks so out of place and disgusting. It literally hurts my eyes.10