I thought the antenna actually did something... nevermind

I'm pretty sure Shakespeare didn't say that.

You know its bad when:

Not a rant but I'm too excited not to post it. I proposed, she said yes!

My mother forced me to buy winrar when I was ~10. They saw the licence popup every time I would open minecraft.jar to install a mod.

They are big anti-piracy supporters and so they thought I pirated winrar.

Well.... So for my punishment for "pirating" winrar, they made me buy it with my birthday money...

I moved to 7zip
Then linux.
Now I'm happy.

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

😂😂 Innovation

Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:

"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"

😅

Wife: You never listen to me!
Me: Have you tried port 8080?

Fake bug fix

University highlight

Professor: I uploaded 25 C exercises with a 3 week deadline at eclass.

*4 hours later* Me: I completed the exercises.

Professor: ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ O'RLY?

Me: Let me show you

???

Professor : Feel free to skip class for the rest of the month

Well played!

The first book that I'll give to my child.

If doctors were treated like web developers!

#truestory

Hi everyone! Sam here, @dfox's gf :) so happy to be talking to you all! Today I will be live-ranting TNW Conference where devRant will be presenting with photos in this thread. Pictured here, @dfox and @trogus setting up our booth. There will also be a stage presentation, a sticker printer on site (because how could we not :)), and energy drink/stress ball giveaway. Stop by and say hi if you're here!!

Go devRant team!

😒.

Must have 5yrs experience in a framework that is 4yrs old
-_-\ do you even brain?

"Don't underestimate the power of a semi colon.."

Don't know if this has been post yet before but ohhh well

$ wget *

Downloads the Internet.

If you're wondering why your Mac is slow as sh*t, be advised that it's playing Chess during it's free time.

Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: Hi IT, I can't enter to my computer, i put my password and it says it's incorrect.
Me: Ok, hold me a few.

(10 seconds without do anything)
Me: Try again.
User: It worked! Thanks!!

got it somewhere on the net

This Fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined.

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

Co-incidence??

Most helpful error log ever...

😂😂😂😂😂

Debian is installing itself in Florida

try {
RiskyFunction()
//a gazillion lines more
}
catch() {}

//Wow! The app is not breaking anymore!