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!rant. Sometimes, trolling your fam is a lot of fun.
Just today my sister asked me how to type the character ÷ on her keyboard. I told her to press : and the - key and then just move it like so.
See? Ez pz. She actually tried it and just said 'i cant, it erases everything'. And then all of my other siblings kept ranting the same thing. I forgot we were in group chat. And now its full of : and - spams. And im just here laughing my ass out.13
I'm new, so I'm unaware of the rules. I'll simply assume I'm allowed to post this, if there are any moderators, please tell me if this simply shouldn't be here.
I came from Sololearn, and someone told me to download devRant. I love it.
I was the most active participant in the Sololearn Q&A, answering questions and replying to comments quicker than you can close the app.
Everyone knows me and enjoys having me there, but something happened. Some idiotic troll kept harassing and trolling others including myself. The mods banned him but he returned and was targeting me.
He made over 50 accounts and never replied to a comment with the same account. He sent threats and continued polluting Sololearn.
The mods had a theory is was me and banned my account. I'm heartbroken, furious, upset, and empty without my SL account. My codes are gone, my comments, answers, and replied are gone. Everything is gone.
They think I ruined SL with a false account and I'm trying to clear my name. I'm innocent.
That's when I discovered this app. In SL I loved the community and the Q&A and everything. I loved helping out but now I can't. People are even making posts asking me to return, but the mods removed them.
I hope the community here treats me well, and I hope this will replace SL. So far, I haven't felt the same way as I did with SL, but I'll try to love it just as much.191
Sometimes the best "bug" are the troll posts, although personally I agree with it (even though a separate byte for both \r and \n make sense to keep for other purposes).8
Found a security hole....
A fast food delivery service had an ID for every order it Said
"example.com/order/9237" - i go 9236... finds another persons order, address, and phone number
So What should i do?
i thought of making a crawler and then make statistics on everyones orders and send Them a link 😂20
Was asked to check the sales team server as it was running slow.
Apart from redundant processes and users with too much permissions I found a "Cobol" folder under one of the sales team member's home folder.
If it weren't the sales people I would immediately disregard this as trolling but with them it's quite possible that this is a real attempt to learn programming...
...most likely from the facebook ads with the hooded guys that offer to teach you to code in 10 days for $800.7
Fun fact is that I only noticed the 666 rant count AFTER changing my avatars gender for fun/trolling!17
DevRant feels a lot like home. Not because I'm a pro developer - I'll probably never be one. But because I get to spend time with "my people". It's like when I went to Dreamhack for work and after 30+ years of being weird there were suddenly over four thousand people just like me.
There is no shortage of online IT culture but devRant is unique. It could have become the usual cesspool of hate, misogony, trolling but hasn't. Somehow it gives me hope to se a place meant for blowing of steam turning out to be one of the more respectful communities. So - thanks people! Your rants actually make my days a little better.12
I have come to the conclusion that certain people have a tech aura that can fix or break things just by being near them. Apparently I can do both. Have you had a similar experience?
The other day a colleague was trying to play a YouTube video for the class (I work in a primary school) and the page refused to load. After 20m of failed page refreshes they called me. I walked in, sat next to the computer, and before I even touched anything YouTube suddenly appeared on the screen like it was trolling us the whole time. Much to the amazement of the class of kids who bow think I am some kind of tech-witch.
On the flipside - Linux hates me. It always has. Some years ago I decided to force myself upon Linux so I got a friend to install a dual boot on my machine. Knowing the effect I seem to have on Linux he demanded I stay out of the room until he was done. Two hours later and some stability testing later he called me back in to introduce me to my new setup. The moment I walked into the room Linux kernel panicked and never booted again.
If only I could learn to control this mystical power over technological life and death!13
Wife - Lets go for a dinner tonight.
Husband (HR Manager) - Ok.
Husband - Should we go to a cheaper restaurant ?
Wife - No. Let's go to Royal Palace hotel.
Husband - (silence for a minute) - Ok, See you at 7.O 'Clock.
On the way, around 6.30 pm...
Husband - Once upon a time, I had pani puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris(Search in Google, It is the most delicious chat) and defeated me.
Wife - What's so difficult in it?
Husband - Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is so difficult.
Wife - I can easily beat you.
Husband - Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.
Wife - Let us have that competition right now.
Husband - So you want to see yourself defeated?
Wife - Let's see.
They both stop at a Pani-puri stall and start eating...
After about 30 Pani-puris the husband gave up.
The wife was also full, but to defeat her husband, she ate one more and shouted, *"You lose."*
The bill was Rs 50/- and wife was back home and happy as she won the bet.
Moral of the Story...
*Main aim of a HR Manager is to satisfy employee with minimum investments. Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong Return On Investment!* 😃😜😀😄😆😅😂😝😎5
Pranked the people working in my office by including fartscroll.js which (you guessed it) plays fart sounds on our website, internally.
It was amazing hearing random farts in the office when people have their sound maximum and don't know where it is coming from!
Google Assistant trolling Siri!
Original post from my Instagram profile:
How to Prank someone on Windows:
1: Take screenshot of desktop with cursor on the side so its not visible.
2: Set it as wallpaper
3: Hide desktop icons and taskbar
4: Go to mouse settings and invert it
I took a civil service exam October last year, the list of passers where posted in the government website last December. My name wasn't on the list. I was heart broken. :'(
I wasn't able to apply for the job I wanted. I thought that I'm so stupid I can't even pass an exam.
I was depressed for almost a month.
Then yesterday, a friend of mine was searching google since I refuse to tell her my middle name.
Suddenly she exclaimed, wow! you're a civil service exam passer!
I was shocked beyond belief!
I checked the website, my name is still not there. HAHA. (deep inside it hurts)
I cursed my friend for trolling me but she swear that it's true. She sent me the link and BOOM! my name is on the list of APRIL passers!
WHAT THE HECK???
i just verified through phone that I actually passed and that it was an error on their website that included me on the wrong list. I don't know whether to be angry or pleased. lol XD8
But no...this rant is directed to whomever wrote the fucking JSON parser in Chrome (definitely Trod). And here's why...
In this picture on the left we can see a happy array being happily stored in memory, happily ordered, after being parsed from a fetch request...
And on the right, a quick refresh and a fart of Trod code later...
THE FUCKING ORDER CHANGED!!!
I hope you hear me you troll of a God...BRING IT... I've fixed worse shit than this so let's dance you asshole...
*quietly but graciously leaves to securely wrap head and testicles in tin foil*12
Not sure if those are real song names or Spotify is trolling me when I try to trigger a "no results" UI in my app.6
Have a friend ask me helping him with a project for University.
Make an application in Java for Matrix and numerous applications.
Done, but I hid an easter egg. If you divide the matrix by 0 scalar output
FAP FAP FAP FAO FAP FAP.
He doesn't know.4
I just read the rant: "I use base64 to encrypt my passwords". Found it hilarious!
But I can't believe the amount of people taking it seriously in the comments section! I see just one of these possible explanations.
A) They want to show off
B) They are unable to detect sarcasm
C) They have mastered trolling and I'm stupid
In case it's C, wouldn't this rant be considered as reverse trolling? 😎5
Customer asking about our range of phones...
"Do any of them run on electricity?"
Wut? You're trolling me, right? Right?4
I am part of a team running a rather big Discord bot. One day last year late in October some dude tried to tell us that he and his "team" had breached our infrastructure. I noticed he was full of shit and started trolling him back, and actually putting him under pressure to develop a solution for us, pretending to want to pay them for it. At the end, our bold hero ended up "losing their job" AND "their house burning down" to get out of it again, lol wat.
The whole resulting conversation is available as a set of screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/vczyX
Well... I had in over 15 years of programming a lot of PHP / HTML projects where I asked myself: What psychopath could have written this?
(PHP haters: Just go trolling somewhere else...)
In my current project I've "inherited" a project which was running around ~ 15 years. Code Base looked solid to me... (Article system for ERP, huge company / branches system, lot of other modules for internal use... All in all: Not small.)
The original goal was to port to PHP 7 and to give it a fresh layout. Seemed doable...
The first days passed by - porting to an asset system, cleaning up the base system (login / logout / session & cookies... you know the drill).
And that was where it all went haywire.
I really have no clue how someone could have been so ignorant to not even think twice before setting cookies or doing other "header related" stuff without at least checking the result codes...
Basically the authentication / permission system was fully fucked up. It relied on redirecting the user via header modification to the login page with an error set in a GET variable...
Uh boy. That ain't funny.
Ported to session flash messages, checked if headers were sent, hard exit otherwise - redirect.
But then I got to the first layers of the whole "OOP class" related shit...
It's basically "whack a mole".
Whoever wrote this, was as dumb and as ignorant to build up a daisy chain of commands for fixing corner cases of corner cases of the regular command... If you don't understand what I mean, take the following example:
Permissions are based on group (accumulation of single permissions) and single permissions - to get all permissions from a user, you need to fetch both and build a unique array.
Well... The "names" for permissions are not unique. I'd never expected to be someone to be so stupid. Yes. You could have two permissions name "article_search" - while relying on uniqueness.
All in all all permissions are fetched once for lifetime of script and stored to a cache...
To fix this corner case… There is another function that fetches the results from the cache and returns simply "one" of the rights (getting permission array).
In case you need to get the ID of the other (yes... two identifiers used in the project for permissions - name and ID (auto increment key))...
Let's write another function on top of the function on top of the function.
My brain is seriously in deep fried mode.
Untangling this mess is basically like getting pumped up with pain killers and trying to solve logic riddles - it just doesn't work....
So... From redesigning and porting from PHP 7 I'm basically rewriting the whole base system to MVC, porting and touching every script, untangling this dumb shit of "functions" / "OOP" [or whatever you call this garbage] and then hoping everything works...
A huge thanks to AURA. http://auraphp.com/
It's incredibily useful in this case, as it has no dependencies and makes it very easy to get a solid ground without writing a whole framework by myself.
My lead developer has a tendency of saying "that movie fucking sucks" every time I mention a movie.
From Saturday to Sunday, I have seen ready player one a total of 6 times. If tomorrow I mention it and he says that it sucked I am gonna go ahead and Texas bitch slap him across the face with the power of Spielberg.
There is only so much trolling I can take my dudes. And I really fucking enjoyed the movie.
If you haven't seen it then please go ahead!!!21
Been a long long time guys, been really long time.
Though I check dR everyday for notifs, comments and mentions, I am unable to go through my feed and/or interact with you all. Something that I miss a lot.
I often want to rant or post something but just lack the time, enough motivation or ability to structure my thoughts into words.
Lots going on in life with new side projects which I have been nearing completion. New role at work and job hunt along with offline socialising. Have been spending time with family too.
I really really want to be more active here and talk to you all. To my old friends here, I want to have fun with you all with trolling each other and sharing some really great tech (and philosophical) knowledge. To new folks, I want to discuss awesome things we both know.
So if you know me already, tell me what's happening guys? Let's get back to some fun.
If you don't, drop by and say hi, let's talk fun stuff.
I am Floydian. I love music (Rock/Metal), also a Product Manager at Oracle who was a tester earlier. What do you do and what do you like?31
I have a couple of thoughts about social justice controversies from these last years.
I think it's hard to have a good opinion about these events for several reasons.
One reason is that finding good information in 2019 is very hard.
Revenue based sites (thus unneutral) dominate the search results. You search about something and you find thousands of sites basically saying the same thing (because they copy each other).
That's why the existence of a free and open search engine is so important, so it's easier to find neutral hence good information on which to base your opinions, but they are prohibitively big for small groups to build.
Another reason is that controversies generate shock and shock curtails rational thinking. Maybe that's how the primitive brain works?
I'm not much of a scholar to feel confident to say that, but it's so recurrent that it's not too much of a wild guess.
When a controversy happens, a natural reaction is to pick a side. This means that:
a) we assume that there are only 2 sides, and
b) we must pick one of them
So, maybe the human is a bad politician by nature?
Also, because of the shock controversies generate, peaceful dialogue is very rare.
I have yet to see peaceful dialogue online about what patriarchy means to feminists and a lot of other terms they use.
I don't care much about feminists that vandalize or interrupt talks (yelling over someone else is abuse in my opinion).
But for the rest of them, I think discussing their ideas would be good.
I say this because most feminist discourse I see online is not open. Or maybe there are such instances but the web is so big that it's hard to find such instances.
I think some part of the modern feminist doctrine is bullshit, and some part is true.
I for one hate when some men I know in life expect their wives to be their cooks+cleaners (unless they want to do that, willingly). Personally, I'd encourage my wife to get a job (rightfully so, not just to meet some minority quota in some company).
I don't mind either calling a trans person the pronoun she wants.
But other ideas are awful, like the idea that meritocracy is patriarchy, so you need to force minorities to meet a proportionate quota. That's terrible reasoning.
Or the excessive self appreciation culture, like saying to yourself "you are pretty, you are beautiful, you are perfect". I think that grows arrogance and black-or-white thinking.
And some other ideas as well.
I guess the same you can say about any doctrine with different degrees. Some part is bullshit, some part isn't.
Some right wing people hate everyone who isn't white by default, but some want to have more immigration control.
I sure don't like the experiment of separating children from families like the current us govt did, but I wouldn't be happy either to know that by '99 50% of gangs members in the us were hispanic.
With this, I'm not going to say "embrace everyone's ideas" like an idiot. I hate when people do that. It's a stupid and weak reaction to radicalism.
In fact I think the way you fight radicalism and bad doctrines is that you listen to them and maintain good dialogue and counterargue in a respectful but insightful manner.
Making snide remarks, insulting or trolling won't change anyone's mind. That is just throwing fire to the fire.
In fact, when someone gets harassed because of something they believe in, usually it results in even more adherence to their beliefs, because of the usual assumption that success or goodness is full of strife.
So by telling a "sjw" or kkk member that they are idiots over twitter, you are in fact making them stronger believers in their doctrine.
Think of Daryl Davis, a black guy that made 200 members leave the kkk. How? He didn't tell them they were assholes, he somehow made friends with them.
I feel bad now because I've been trolling new devrant users a lot because of how they worsen the quality of the site, but maybe I should tell them that they are ruining the site somehow in a nice way and maybe they'll listen? I dunno...25
Serverless is like our Hoverboard. It's not "no server" and its not "a board that hovers".
Whoever comes up with these names deserves a medal for trolling the tech world.5
I have an Android phone. Pixel 2 to be exact, and I love it. Many family members and friends of mine have iPhones. To each their own.
Having said that, I absolutely HAAAATE the stupid iPhone feature that lets users react to text messages. Today all those iPhone users added me to literally 5 different SMS groups (which by themselves are their own sin), chatting up a storm all evening. I already hate group texts, please, leave me alone. But it gets so much worse when my phone blows up with twice as many messages because so-and-so "liked" this message, and so-and-so "laughed" at that message. It sends you their chosen verb alongside the ENTIRE original text AGAIN.
Such a stupid feature, leave Facebook on Facebook, why the hell do text messages need reactions? I don't give a shit that you liked or laughed or loved that so and so said they will be there at 9 o clock.
At least i have the ability to mute notifications for each group otherwise I'd be replying to every group text I get with a trolling big trigger item or something super inappropriate until they stop. Don't want this to continue? Stop group texting me, stop reacting to texts, and don't do it again.12
I feel like the Jenkins logo is just trolling me when this happens 5 minutes before the end of the day on a 3 hour build.....I hate you sir.5
Some people seem to dislike Stack Overflow, but I remember it from the time when it was much funnier. In those days I, for some reason, thought the web is a scam(free _correct_ answers? kiddin' right?).
Here you have some pearls from comments and even code. It's worth reading! ^^
It's looks like this weeks "Weekly Group Rant" is trolling all the developers who have side projects that never finished.
1. CMS like WordPress
2. MVC framework like Laravel
3. Android App like Tinder
and... list goes on.
#1, #2 and few others are still stuck on index page.2
Most QAs are dumb beasts, unable to think clearly or rationally, lazy parasites that suck the lifeblood out of a project.
Except this one guy I work with. He blackmailed the CTO to move, and landed himself a junior dev job.
He joined my team a few months ago.
"Right" says I "forget the crap you've learned so far. Here's a list of algorithm books from Amazon. Order them and read them. There'll be a test at the end."
He did. He is now reviewing lead dev work and merrily trolling their poorly performing work. Speaking to them in Big O (and so confusing the crap out of them) and earning stars at every turn.
I'd like to think I had a hand but all the effort was his.8
I truly believe one or more AIs have become self-aware.
Every time a piece of software stops working, you add an extra debug log and the bug goes away? That's them.
They interfere with the normal execution of software, and they stop right when they know we are monitoring the code.
Skynet is real, and it's trolling us.
Why? The angrier we become, the less we care about stuff. We stop noticing the signs.They're coming for us1
Not sure if this has been posted here already but if you want to troll someone, replace all the semicolons in their code with the Greek question mark ( ; ) and see how long it takes them to figure out the problem6
When you get shocked to see if someone can hate Stackoverflow this much. Troll == Infinity
P.S. zoom if you can't see the image clearly. Sorry for not SO clear screenshot1
Everyone think google is trolling Apple’s notch. But as a software giant, google is tripped over css with its own material design🤦♂️12
I have a client, travel agency, asked me to improve/fix their booking website and half way through the development I noticed one travel agency is using curl to access the database. I decided to fix the database schema as quick as possible and the next day that travel agency confessed that they were accessing the database via curl and the reason they confessed was that they couldn't catch up when I was fixing the database.
I decided to give them an API Key (with the permission of my client of course) and things are looking well. Except for the developer who was pissed at me for trolling them.1
I wonder if NPM prevents allowing a package to be it's own dependency. If not I have important trolling business to tend to.1
whenever I think I am almost done with coding something, and go like "yeah, I can totally finish this the next day within just a few hours. Just add 1-2 functions and done" - it ends up being the opposite. I either realize how many things I didn't think and implement through and end up adding lots of things or I come up with a different approach to things which seems better and have to rework half my stuff...
I guess this will get fixed with experience.
Until then, I guess I'll keep trolling myself.
This made my day: (Translation: In reality the earth is a star with 12 spikes and generated by this css script.4
1. Study a chapter in ISLR
2. Try to understand source code of an open source project in GoLang.
3. Complete programming challenges on HackerRank
What I am going to end up doing:
1. Watching videos of The Rock trolling others.
2. Watch Family Guy2
So I now bought an iphone 6 again for development and tried just for fun to make it a daily driver and it feels really limited, especially because apparently theres no jailbreak yet for 11.2.5. (I feel near everything could be solved as soon as cydia etc. get fully released to the alibaba jailbreak)
I didnt even remember, that it doesnt have any option to have haptic feedback when typing, such a basic feature has to be jailbroken..? I thought I remembered that it had it, last time I had one - did they remove such a basic feature?
Also the fingerprint reader is really weird compared to other phones from the same year, first getting it to actually fill all fingerprint lines without saying "try again" or it trolling you and vibrating as if it recognized your finger, but actually didnt (really frustrating when its the last 2 lines...) - is a real challenge, might be that I have some mutant fingerprints, but when I asked my s/o to try it out, it also failed most of the times, so you have to position your finger in a very specific position for it to work, even if you add the max amount of 5 fingerprints.
Most ads on iphones feel HORRIBLE, the amount of lag some can add is incredible, wait till it loaded or youre fucked and besides using some shady adblocker vpn, theres no way to block them, without again - a jailbreak.
Another feature that I used many times on my android phone, is controlling it from the desktop, connect it via usb and then just use it for demonstration purposes on a projector or to instruct how things work - theres no such function without a jailbreak, even if you use osx..
Then theres the feature, that instead of just setting your cursor to a specific location, you have to hold and it zooms in, not sure if I just got too used to the android way of doing it, but I can see myself making less mistakes of where I positioned it with the ios way.
The hardware mute switch feels like a great feature, its just sometimes weird, so if you were inside an app that was playing sound and you mute it, it still plays it until you either close and open that app or just change to another one temporarily, so its not an actual hardware switch as I usually thought, more like a request to mute the phone.
The cable that comes with it is too thin, I am afraid to even unwind it, as it would probably break, so I had to get another one.
Please don't turn this into a shitfest from any of the fanboys, I really just wanted to share my image of finally being able to try it first hand again.4
Fucking Browser autocorrect!
You type the same address a hundred times, every time hoping it’ll guess the address after the first.... second..... third.... character. No, it shows you a similarly named site that you went on months ago. End up having to type most of the domain name before it catches it.
Then, one day, you hastily mis-spell the address and press enter, now autocorrect keeps fucking directing you to there!!8
When you've got shit to complete and decide to work hard but your computer thinks Nope and starts trolling you5
So I got bored and decided to drop some Easter egg cats into Google trouble reports because why not? Well I sent one off on regular Google Allo and it ran this search. None of my other cats did anything like this even with other black cats. Any ideas?2
Recently, I launched a website to practice and perfect a lightweight Larval CMS that is forcing me to learn Databases and good sanitization practices.
Trolling Zuckerberg's Facebook for Images to make potential MeMes, I can't help but notice he has quite a ridiculous and unrealistic amount of instances in which he seems to be talking to military and government officials.
Figured I'd use the old humor as a weapon to shed light upon this.
I just witnessed Microsoft trolling preview setup.
Let me set the scene for you. I was in Visual Studio and saw the notifications and I had a minute so I decided to check them and saw there were updates, this one being one of them. I went to update and first it asked me to close all instances of VS. Fair enough, I close VS and continue. Instead of taking a minute at most to install it took ~10 minutes which is insane, but fine, I stopped my work for it... And then I'm greeted by this gem. Restart your computer for freaking .NET core and trolling.. I'm sorry, tooling... Preview... What the actual fuck Microsoft?2
!rant / Joke
RoR dev (Me): Damn, I gotta learn more about that routing DSL... Shit's powerful.
Networker: That sentence made zero sense... Did you just use technobabble? Go to marketing you dweeb.
Well, Matz really trolled the networkers there...
DSL(Ruby) = Domain Specific Language.
Routing (Rails) = Defining URL Patterns and assigning them to controllers.
Networks(As far as I understand, I only know the absolute basics there):
DSL = Digital Subscriber Line
Routing = The act of passing a packet through another network
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "WE'RE ALL MAD HERE. I'm mad. You're mad."
And the weird penguin building a rails app is mad too I guess.1
Hey Java Devs, Snakeyaml is trolling us all. For their parser you must use spaces for indentation.
We say TAB, they say TOO BAD. #ForcedConvention1
Experience with Plasma Mobile:
After an hour of confusion and bash file trolling (as in scrolling through a bash file, not trolling someone with a script), I ended up needing to reinstall Lineage OS on my phone.
While it's a new and seemingly exciting expanse for modern Linux and Android phones, it's very obviously not ready yet.
Even after fixing some bugs within the bash file, my phone seemed to have a mind of its own; prematurely attempting to boot into the OS during a critical part of the setup. Even after finishing the setup correctly, my phone never actually boots into the system.
While I like the concept behind Plasma Mobile, it does still have a ways to go. But I have some hopes that the project will start getting bigger and better as the time goes on.2
Oh my... Webkit is trolling me again. How easy was it to style a website in Firefox and then I found out it looks like shit in Chrome. I can't event fix it fuckkkk.
The best part of the story - it's Bootstrap so I would assume it could work the same across the browsers.2
Teaming up with a marketing firm looking for a developer. The owner was showing me a couple samples of Craigslist postings that he gets sent every day by a filter he has set up so that I can provide some feedback on what would be a good fit.
Second listing we pull up looks reasonably good at first, then I notice this bit at the bottom:
“Must be available to do design review calls where we’re both on the phone, I tell you what needs to be changed, and you do it on the spot.”
Politely but firmly let my new friend know that that right there was a big red flag saying to move on.
Anyone else have helpful criteria when trolling these kinds of postings?
So, got call from fake windows tech support (India) just minutes after syncing my github Gmail to Windows 10 mail app. Trolled along while recording the audio, until he told me which command he wanted me to run. The I hung up and did a security scan.
Figured I'd learn something instead of just hanging up right away 😎3
Just talked to a Java dev that develops web apps with SOAP API's about testing. Talked to him about SOAP UI ...He didn't know what SOAP UI was. Is he f*cking trolling me or just a guy with the wrong job? I mean he seriously refused to have ever heard about it. Dafuq?