I've just finished installing Ubuntu Unity 22.04 on a new SSD installed on my wife's computer; it's so relaxing the fresh air of a new Linux distribution installed.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

I've got a client that is complaining a long sentence is on multiple lines on a mobile device.

You literally cannot make this stuff up. They are literally saying, "move this specific word up to the line above."

A thousand years ago, Erik the Red names Greenland "Greenland" (even though it's icy) to trick travellers into coming there.

LiveScript was renamed to JavaScript for similar reasons.

Mmm, yess. I'd like to work for free...

I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

My mom told me to take the spider out instead of killing it..
So i did. We had a few drinks, pretty cool guy, said he works as a web developer.

Got together with my old dev team (5) who all left the same company at the same time almost two years ago. (Thats a whole other story).

One of them told us he left and went to a new company that measured performance by the amount of commits a dev would to per day. Of course he didn't know that when he signed on.

Three months into the job he had a week where his first commit wasn't until a wednesday and he got called in by the manager to explain his lack of commits and how he was going to improve.

He quit on the spot. Had a new job in less than a week.

Other devs at the company were fixing typo's and just commiting them one at a time to create a lot of commits.

I finally landed a job as a self taught developer. After countless rejections, ghostings, interviews and assessments, I finally did it. The HR literally called me back 5 minutes after the second interview with a job offer. It’s honestly is just so surreal.

Nothing gets me so anxious like endless work meetings that have nothing to do with my part of the task. Why am I even here? Should I understand this? Why is it taking 2 hours? Can I finally kill myself?

Should I be afraid right now?

Dev: can I swap out an existing UI framework from this codebase for a completely different one, because it doesn't do the small enhancement I've been tasked to do?

Me: ...............

please lord, give me strength in these pressing times.

Does anyone interact with posts by linkedin "influencers" or recruiters that isn't an "influencer" or recruiter themselve?

Do people exist that actually use linkedin as a social media site?

Our company is changing the default branch on our main repo from master to main.

We're literally on the verge of global genocide and a holocaust, and people are worried about over-sensitive people's feelings. I'm sure a branch change will end racism.

Start working on ticket
Looks at code
WTF is the shit?
Open devRant to rant
1.5 hours later
what was I doing?

So yesterday one of the "senior" python developers woke me up at 1 am (we work in different time zones, and he knows how many hours I'm ahead) asking why isn't his code working. The error message was:

[ERROR] Runtime.ImportModuleError: Unable to import module 'app': xxx is not installed, run `pip install xxx` Traceback (most recent call last)

I am at lose of words and patience. Not only idiots who can't google simple stuff are seniors, additionaly we went from "DevOps is a culture" straight to "hey I'm developer in my silo, if it doesn't work on my machine it's DevOps problem, plz fix".

If a tree falls over in the woods..
And important dev work gets done and shipped,
And it's not in JIRA.. did it even really happen..

This was in production for 3 years

Stuck in between getting a job or starting only fans.

A wife asks her developer husband to go to the store and get a loaf of bread. She also says that if they have eggs, get a dozen.
He comes back with 12 loaves of bread.

In Soviet Union, people cut x-ray films into circles and used them to make vinyl records of popular Western music that wasn't available because of the iron curtain. Sound quality was atrocious, but that wasn't the point. I have several of such records in my vinyl collection, it was my grandma who was involved in this culture when she was young.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

Covid just destroy everything

!rant

Yesterday I got my first promotion that was based on merit and not because I graduated or moved company 🍻

#feelsgoodman

Bluntly telling management that they're wrong, full of shit, and need to quit doing stupid things instead of just smiling and nodding and taking the paycheck. SPOILER ALERT: After 20 years in industry, they're NEVER going to change. They're just going to keep doing stupid shit. The best you can do is smile and politely point out that it's a problem. Then, look out for your own concerns and make sure you don't have to suffer with their bullshit decision as best as you can.

Bad Dev Habit: I put semicolons in Python and forget them in Java

Bad dev habit: spending weeks modifying your IDE/OS instead of actually working on tasks.

All the stupid date functions where the days range from 1 to 31 but the months range from 0 to 11

A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.

Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"

I'm astonished again. Linux isn't designed as GUI OS - where Windows has dynamic thread priorities for freshly woken up threads as to increase GUI snappiness.

Now, my CPU has four physical and eight logical cores for SMT. I'm running eight worker threads of some parallel testing stuff, and I'm glad that I chose the AMD 3400G over the 3200G. The CPU load is 100%. On top of that, MP3 audio, the browser, and I'm dd'ing an external USB3 HDD.

Holy shit, the browser is just as smooth as if the CPU were idle. No perceivable lag. I hadn't expected desktop Linux to be that great.

I'm also surprised that the CPU temperature doesn't exceed 44°C despite full load at 21°C ambient, and the cooling is inaudible. Sure, my cooler is massively over-dimensioned to achieve exactly that, but it's still amazing.

It's what I would have wanted ten years ago and only could approach somewhat, but now the tech is actually there.

Client : We want to develop this particular software. While developing it, we will be following Agile methodology.

Developers: Sure.

After developer achieves few features and decides to give 1st Demo of the software to the client.

Client : Wtf is this? This is an incomplete software, there are bugs in it.

Developer : Yes, you point that out to me and I will solve them.

Client: What do you mean point them out for you l, couldn't you do it yourself?

Developer: As a standard method, we often do unit tests, but we are not testers and with a strict deadline to match, we are more on the core implementation then checking again and again for minor bugs.

Client : I thought it would be a full proof software without any bugs in the 1st demo.

Developer : Software development is a process. It's not straightforward, hence you only mentioned at the initial, it's agile.

Client : If that's so, let's make it not agile and make you rot in hell for the next few fays. Now you next time show me a demo with no bugs, great complicated features and we will not mention you our expectations, predict them by yourselves, and most importantly, here's an impractical strict deadline.

fdisk, cfdisk, diskpart and other tools CAN SUCK MY DICK.

I needed to restore my raspberry pi microsd from 200ish MB back to 16 GB and could find NO WAY of restoring it from my pc. maybe there is some ajbd -asdkasd -adkahdh IUYGFG_&38726283746 sdkfjksjf command that does that but I don't give a shit.

I plugged it into my camera instead. One second and my microsd was restored.

Canon doesn't care about your fancy partitions and other shit, it's just fucking blasting, it is like IN YO FACE. I love it.

What do you call a party with developers?

A git together

I'm so sorry.