So today I lost around two hours because I solved a bug before trying to reproduce it 👏👏👏
The client reports the bug, I open up VS and already go to the source file that might be affecting it, see a variable assignment that was just outside of the If statement it was supposed to be in, and after that I try to reproduce the error.
Guys, please, be smarter than me next time.

Copying a Perler bead craft.

I now understand why ink jet printers are temperamental.

How does a DJ delete 'bass' table?

DROP bass

Well... My MacBook is officially drunk 😂😂😂

Was testing a code that I made 😅 it actually didn't use more than 8 GB memory lol

Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras

2 seconds later

Tv hacker: I'm in

Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck

Headphones are in, colleague calls my name, I take them out a little annoyed at the interruption.

Colleague: what did one window say to the other?
Me: you're such a pane you know that?
Colleague: no but fuck! That's better

Made the mistake of telling friends and family I know how to make websites.

Sorry I can't make you a Airbnb like website for $200 🙃

> Open google chrome console (F12)
> Press Ctrl + Shift + P (or Cmd + Shift + P)
> Type "dark theme"
> Press enter

Don't thank me, just my duty

Mom : why were you late?
Me : Got lot of bugs in office.
Mom : Is everyone alright? Did you kill them?
Me : No mom we fix them.
Mom : I thought we kill them.
How humane are you guys.

On every new job, there is always the Impostor Syndrome.

They know each other, they're all having fun and they're friends. They're super nice to me and include you in everything, but still a lot of the time they're talking about shit that I have no idea about.

And professionally it's not better. I'm new, I don't know how things work, yet everybody knows it like the back of their hands.

There is this irrational fear, this feeling, that I don't belong, that I'm an impostor, and someone might see through my mask for who I really am - a guy with no idea about what's going on, that doesn't belong, that's an IMPOSTOR.

It takes time to overcome, especially when in a foreign country. Once it's passed, I become more attached to my colleagues and my job if the hurdle was harder, than whether I felt right at home from the very start.

IT guys

Protip: If you want developers <30 years old, migrate to git from svn.

I don't get 50 shades of grey.

They should have called it: "256 shades of gray unless you're on 10bit HDR, then its 1024 shades of grey"

That would have made much more sense

I like how Google basically kicked itself...

So foobar, seems Copy is disabled now.

But I just discovered that in Chrome, I can drag the highlighted text out of it to copy it.

😂😂😂

If Programming Languages Were Girls:

Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.

Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.

Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.

JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.

Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
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My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

Current me

Found another gem from government's website

Dev's debugging paradise

Windows being Windows 😂😂

Sometimes I daydream about one of my projects to become successful. Then I realize that Google Chrome has 56.000 open issues and I regret

*me working at a huge company as a customer*
Ok, show me what you got.
* Company throws some of the most gruesome and ugly scripts at me*
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE WORD INIT SYSTEM? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE TERM PRIVILEGE SEPARATION OR BACKUP? DO YOU KNOW THAT A SVN REPO IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE 500GB BIG? AND A JENKINS JOB SHOULD NOT RUN 8HOURS!
Company: you ain't have seen nothing yet.

And they were so right...almost can't bear it anymore

Creepy AF!

I have just solved a problem that had already several days ago: to apply the elimination of a specific color in a photography of animal fabrics.

Thank you SimpleCV <3