Do people in Asia chopstick repos or what?

Returning at work after holiday and have to relocate again! This is the 3rd time in two months... Feeling like a nomad..!

That moment you leave the office for the last time in 2018.

FAWK YEAH!

What a year it’s been, from learning new platforms, to developing never ending changes, to breaking production at Christmas time, and finishing the year at the peak of purchasing period on a couple of websites with no reason to care what happens for several weeks all while absorbing extra projects from resigning co-workers.

*Turns on autopilot and walks the fuck out*

From one exhausted dev to the rest of you, enjoy the holiday break!

So I am assigned to a new team to take over the leading position because the guy who did it up till now quit. And there is this guy who today seriously shared his screen with my boss and the rest of the team to point out that I formatted something wrong...

Realy it was something like
super.doFunctionA().thenFunctionB() instead of putting it like
super
.functionA()
.functionB()

He said he wanted to call me out early to avoid spreading of this "wrong formatting"

He wants to start a war? This fuckhead can have it!
Soon I will be the one who writes his tasks... hf

I am really getting sick of recruiters contacting me with "great opportunities" then when I ask questions about the post they just give me the answers they think I want to hear. I know when you're lying because if you knew the answer you would have led with that. At least say you'll find out more and then give me a follow up response.

Recruiter: Would it be possible for you to deliver hacking training?
Me: You mean pentesting?
R: Yes, that.
Me: Well, what will it be used for? Breaking into peoples networks and spying on them?
R: Yes, they'll want it to be able to spy on people.
Me: Well, that's unethical, I'm only interested in defensive security practices.
R: Yes, they'll only want it for ethical reasons like defence and against bad guys.
Me: *dirtiest look I could muster*

I mean there's gullible and then there's what ever it is you think I am.

So I'm in HS CS and some of us know how to code, and the others are struggling with variables (in python).

One of them asks: "Sir, why are doing python? I heard about java and how it changed the internet and stuff"

So naturally my teacher explains the difference (between JS and Java, in case your captain of the USS dumbass), but then described JS in the best way possible:

"JavaScript is basically the California of programming, its a really weird place where people mix everything up and nothing makes sense"

When I'm writing a test button

I made an AI to determine the quality of a rant

if upvotes > comments:
printf(' good rant ')
else:
printf(' offensive rant')

So JavaScript/ES6 is kicking my ass. I'm not used to front end development as much. Idk when to use javascript and how. I dont know when I need to manipulate the DOM and how I do it. It's a new concept and I'm hoping PHP isnt gonna have as big of a learning curve..

Aber method that was supposed to Check If a payment for a (back then) unimplemented payment methode that returns true as a default value...

A Javascript oneliner to skip the payment... Used to be in produktion for years, before I reported it

Our app server still restarts via cron job every night at 22:30, it’s been 3 years :)

Instead of using actual debugging tools, using print statements and forgetting to remove all of them.

Is there actually any crossplattform mobile development framework which is not a total pain in the ass to work with???!

Today I had a meeting...
It was about a Team having problems with our Tool...
All participants where QA professionals...
(at the very least according to their Job title)
The invite said please come prepared!

THEY WHERE NOT ABLE TO DESCRIBE ONE ISSUE ACURRATE ENOUGH TO MAKE IT REPRODUCABLE

At my last job, I created a Google Map for a client, where you could click on any department from France, and it would tell you about all the antennas (think "outpost") of his society. I used a Google Fusion Table where I registered everything: the datas to display, the coordinates for every departments and for every region.

I then wrote a 15-pages long document to tell how to maintain that, since I used my personal Google account to create the map. Anyone having a full access to the website should be able to recreate the map from nothing and witout writing a single line of code.

Then I switched project, the company kind of fucked me over, and I just received a mail saying that Google Fusion Table will be put down in a year.

I just hope they didn't receive the mail.

we are learning how a disk rotates in order to preserve memory on the physical computer hardware. in order for this disk to preserve memory, it has to rotate by following laws of physics as a circular sphere with sine and cosine waves on the coordinate system. these sine and cosine waves that vibrate independently and periodically, which means that the disk rotates 10,000 orbits per second. a drill rotates 2000 orbits per second. 10,000 orbits per second is fast enough to cut your hand off in less than 1 millisecond. we are learning that this disk has to rotate so fast in order to preserve the memory which was stored by the database system with sql.

on a subject called sql databases.

For the love of all things sacred, put a damn space between your parentheses and whatever comes before/after them. It is totally not cool to read if(expression){}.

No, seriously, I mean that.

;____;

I sold my first app today. I’m 70 cents richer now. ;)

In 2025, JS-frameworks will outnumber humans.

new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

Gotta love testing in production. Nice work Niantic 🤣

tldr:
everyone got the same hardware because senior dev liked it

So my project team was allowed to buy some hardware (monitors/keyboards/mouses etc.) so teamleader asked what we want.
senior dev: i need 1 monitor because i like to work with 1 monitor. i prefer this 27' zoll 4k monitor for around 1k dollars. since i work with multiple pc's i like this bluetooth keyboard and mouse because u can pair them with them and switch witch a click between the pc's costs around 300 dollar (1 setup of this costs 1'300 dollars)

me: so i like to use 2 monitors because i tried out multiple setups and this works for me the best (also what i have at home). but they dont need to be fancy. 2x 24' zoll montitors for each 200 dollar are enaugh (together 400 doller)
i also only work with 1 laptop and would like to have just a simple keyboard and mouse with cable because everytime they dont respons or battry runs out im fk triggered. so for me its okey if its this 30 dollar keyboard and 20 dollar mouse. it would be cool if i could get this mechanical keyboard for 80 dollars but not really needed. i only prefer mechanical keyboards a little bit more. and also i would like this mousepad i really like. it makes the mouse super responsive it's also just 10 dollars (this setup cost 510)

so at the end the teamleader was like. ah u know what senior dev has more xp and knows whats better for coding so we only buy this for every dev. but that 10 dollar mouse pad is okey u can get this extra its not that expensive.

WTF why u dont give me the cheaper setup which i more like. and why u even ask.

This is my laptop's desktop, as I currently have it set. This sexually arouses me with its legendary beauty.

Show me yours.

I think I’m gonna switch to Manjaro from Ubuntu Budgie... At least on laptop for a test drive.

Haha! Command lines :-P

* phone conversation with Dad*
Dad: What are you doing?
Me: Busy creating website.
Dad: So, if I type " www", will I be able to see it?
Me: *explaining website hosting and servers for 15mins straight*
Dad: Huh. You do learn something in college then.
Me:🤐

Ver 2.0

Me: *Applies for entry level full-stack job*

Recruiter: "Sorry, I can't hire you because you don't have the years of experience we're looking for. We can take you on as an intern! Unpaid of course, while we train you."🙂

Clueless Me: "Sure, why not."

*second day into the internship*

Boss: "I have this really big project, and I want you to be the lead. I'm going to be very vague about what I want, so you'll constantly have to make changes to user stories, wireframes, & database designs until I'm satisfied. Don't ask me any questions for clarity, because I'm busy 🙂"

Silly Me: "okay"

Boss: "Also, can you train all the other interns? You're so lucky! You'll get to pick the best to join your team" 🙂

Stupid Me: "okay"

Boss: *emails me a spreadsheet of 80 Front-End interns (freshmen and sophomores)*
"Did you start building the app yet?" 🙂

Me (Dummy): "You haven't approved the final wireframes ye-"

Boss: "And for the other interns' training, what did you have in mind?" 🙂

Me (Dumbass): "I made a training guide, they're already followi-"

Boss: "My project manager for this other project left, guess he couldn't handle the pressure of a real job... HAHAHAHA! You're gonna take the lead of that project, too!"
*Adds me to the slack group* 😁

Me (Imbecile): "Wha-"

Boss: "And we've been having trouble with keeping track of everyone's code. Is there something we can do instead of slacking code snippets back and forth?" 🤔😮

Me (Fucking Imbecile): "Wait, you guys are working on a project and you don't have any form of version control? Maybe we should take a few steps back and plan thi-"

Boss: "Are you gonna take initiative or not!?" 😡

Me (Enlightened): "I quit." 😑

Former Boss: "Too bad... I was going to offer you a paid role tomorrow morning. Oh well!" 😔

Oh Algo you're so beautiful