I fucking love people like this.

Yesterday I met a 'friend' who I hadn't seen in a very long time. Just a guy I used to know tbh but let's call him Friend anyway. After a while in the conversation this happened...

*Friend doesn't know I have a degree in CS*

Friend: "WHAT?? YOU LIKE PROGRAMMING? NO WAY! ME TOO!"

Me: "THAT'S AWESOME! You've been programming for long?"

Friend: "A little over a year now. I know almost all languages now. C++, C#, Python, Java and HTML. Still a couple left to go. Once you're on the level I achieved programming becomes really, really easy. How long have you been programming?"

Me: "Almost a decade now"

Friend: "Damn dude you must know all languages by now I suppose?"

Me: "I've been mainly doing C++ so not really haha"

Friend: "I can always help when you're struggling with one language. C++ is pretty easy tbh. You should learn others too btw. HTML for example is pretty important because you can program websites with it"

Me: "Yeah... Thanks... So... What project are you working on right now?"

Friend: "I'm making a register page for my very own forum. The only problem I have is that PHP won't save the login details"

Me: "Hahaha I know the feeling. MySQL?"

Friend: "What?"

Me: "What do you use to save your data"

Friend: "Just a txt file. It's easier that way."

Me: "Hahaha true. Who needs safety right? *smiles*"

Friend: "Actually it's 100% safe because only I can see the txt file so other people can not hack other users."

Me: "Yes! That's great! Cya!"

Friend: "I'm working on a mmorpg too btw! I can learn you to make games if you want. Just call me. Here's my number"

Me: "Alright... Thanks... Bye!"

*Arrives at home*

*Deletes number*

I do not make this up.

I can understand that someone who isn't in the CS industry doesn't take it too seriously and gets hyped when their "Hello World" program works.
I'm fine with that.

The thing that really triggers me is big headed ass holes like this. Like how much more like a absolute dickhead could you possibly more act? Fucking hate people like that.

You know what?

Young cocky React devs can suck my old fuckin LAMP and Objective-C balls.

Got a new freelance job and got brought in to triage a React Native iOS/Android app. Lead dev's first comment to me is: "Bro, have you ever used React Native".

To which I had to reply to save my honor publicly, "No, but I have like 8 years with Objective-C and 3 years with Swift, and 3 years with Node, so I maybe I'll still be able help. Sometimes it just helps to have a fresh set of eyes."

"Well, nobody but me can work on this code."

And that, as it turned out was almost true.

After going back and forth with our PM and this dev I finally get his code base.

"Just run "npm install" he says".

Like no fuckin shit junior... lets see if that will actually work.

Node 14... nope whole project dies.

Node 12 LTS... nope whole project dies.

Install all of react native globally because fuck it, try again... still dies.

Node 10 LTS... project installs but still won't run or build complaining about some conflict with React Native libraries and Cocoa pods.

Go back to my PM... "Um, this project won't work on any version of Node newer than about 5 years old... and even if it did it still won't build, and even if it would build it still runs like shit. And even if we fix all of that Apple might still tell us to fuck off because it's React Native.

Spend like a week in npm and node hell just trying to fucking hand install enough dependencies to unfuck this turds project.

All the while the original dev is still trying TO FIX HIS OWN FUCKING CODE while also being a cocky ass the entire time. Now, I can appreciate a cocky dev... I was horrendously cocky in my younger days and have only gotten marginally better with age. But if you're gonna be cocky, you also have to be good at it. And this guy was not.

Lo, we're not done. OG Dev comes down with "Corona Virus"... I put this in quotes because the dude ends up drawing out his "virus" for over 4 months before finally putting us in touch with "another dev team he sometimes uses".

Next, me and my PM get on a MS Teams call with this Indian house. No problems there, I've worked with the Indians before... but... these are guys are not good. They're talking about how they've already built the iOS build... but then I ask them what they did to sort out the ReactNative/Cocoa Pods conflict and they have no idea what I'm talking about.

Why?

Well, one of these suckers sends a link to some repo and I find out why. When he sends the link it exposes his email...

This Indian dude's emails was our-devs-name@gmail.com...

We'd been played.

Company sued the shit out of the OG dev and the Indian company he was selling off his work to.

I rewrote the app in Swift.

So, lets review... the React dev fucked up his own project so bad even he couldn't fix it... had to get a team of Indians to help who also couldn't fix it... was still a dickhead to me when I couldn't fix it... and in the end it was all so broken we had to just do a rewrite.

None of you get npm. None of you get React. None of you get that doing the web the way Mark Zucherberg does it just makes you a choad locked into that ecosystem. None of you can fix your own damn projects when one of the 6,000 dependency developers pushes breaking changes. None of you ever even bother with "npm audit fix" because if security was a concern you'd be using a server side language for fucking server side programming like a grown up.

So, next time a senior dev with 20 years exp. gets brought in to help triage a project that you yourself fucked up... Remember that the new thing you know and think makes you cool? It's not new and it's not cool. It's just JavaScript on the server so you script kiddies never have to learn anything but JavaScript... which makes you inarguably worse programmers.

And, MF, I was literally writing javascript while you were sucking your mommas titties so just chill... this shit ain't new and I've got a dozen of my own Node daemons running right now... difference is?

Mine are still working.

Client: Where are we with the project, it's been a week and I see nothing.

Me: You asked me to do something that was not in the agreed scope of work, which has kept me from starting on the project.

Client: Do I need to plan out everything in advance on paper for you to get it done in a timely manner?

Me: Is that a serious question? Yes, you should. That's the whole point of creating a scope of work. It's to allow me to schedule out the time necessary to build out a product in a "timely manner".

Client: I don't appreciate your attitude. This is not how you should be doing business if you like making money.

Me: I don't appreciate your condescending, unreasonable, dickhead mentality that makes you think it's remotely okay to act like you're better than me. Money doesn't grant you the right to be a dickwad, and just because I'm being paid doesn't mean I have to put up with any level of arrogance or disrespect.

I am in this business to make money, but not at the cost of my dignity and self-respect. You will be receiving a full refund later today, not because I have to provide a refund, but because I never want to communicate with you ever again moving forward. Take your unacceptable bullshit somewhere else.

Manager: I just think you are being too negative. Like sometimes other people have opinions too and we should hear them out before saying no.

Me: Well your opinion is the devs shouldn't be able to estimate their own tasks and you should decide on our behalf how long something should take.

You also want to decide what tech stack we use, because you followed a "Hello World" tutorial last night and it worked out for you.

Just because you got a simple webpage up and running in 2 hours doesn't mean all websites take 2 hours with the tech. Were not sitting in the corner laughing that you think its taking us 3 weeks to build this.

I'm not being negative simply because I don't agree with you. I'm not being unreasonable if I say I can do 6 weeks work in 2 weeks. And although it sounds offensive, i'm actually doing you a favour by telling you to get your head out of your ass

PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.

Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.

Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.

everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

Me: hey dev, my in-app purchase isn't reflected on other phones with your app
Dev: *cricket noises*
About a week later...
Google Play: an update for this app is available
20 minutes later...
Dev: nope, that isn't an issue.

You updated the app minutes ago after being silent for so long. No mention of it being fixed in the changelog, no mention of it being fixed in the reply.. nothing. But I'll eat my hat if you didn't silently add it in and shoved it under the rug. Dickhead.

At least the issue doesn't exist.. anymore.

Please don't be like that...

So the remote manager who won't reply to my emails or slacks, won't invite me to meetings with product / design, won't ask for my opinion on deadline dates and won't tell me whats being said in meetings (despite repeated effort on my part to change this);

Has decided to send an angry email, cc'ing a bunch of people, about "constant deadline slippage" and poor planning on our part focusing on features that should have been de-prioritised.

ahem
*clears throat for maximum yelling rant-ability*

<rant>
I HAVE BEEN EMAILING YOU FOR FUCKING WEEKS ASKING TO TALK ABOUT THE DEADLINES YOU FUCKING COLOSSAL ASS CLOWN.

I'VE BEEN REPEATEDLY TOLD THAT THESE FEATURES ARE A MUST HAVE AFTER ASKING TO DE-PRIORITISE THEM, AND HAVE TOLD YOU THE DATES ARE NOT FEASIBLE.

ONE MORE, ONE MORE EMAIL OR BAD COMMENT AND I'M EXPENSING A TRIP OVER THERE, TO KICK YOU SQUARE IN THE NUTS AS HARD AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I'LL HAPPILY BREAK MY FOOT OFF IF NECESSARY, YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT.
</rant>

... the above is work appropriate to email back to him and all the higher ups right?

Currently on an internship, PHP mostly, little bit of Python and the usual web stuff, and I just had the BEST FUCKING DAY EVER.

Wake up and find out I'm out of coffee, oh boy here we go.

Bus leaves 10 minutes late, great gonna miss my train.

Trains just don't wanna ride today, back in a bus I go, what's normally a 10 minute train travel is now a 90 minute bus ride.

Arrive at internship, coffee machine is broke, non problem, I'll just lose it slowly.

NOW HERE COMES THE FUCKING GOOD PART!!

Alright, so I'm working on a CMS that can be used just about on any device you want, mobile or desktop, it's huge, billion's of rows of scientific data. Very specific requirements and low error margins. Now, yesterday I was really enjoying myself here until today, Project manager walks in, comes to my desk and hands me a Samsung Gear S3, an Apple watch and some cheap knockoff. He tells me that before the Friday deploy, THE ENTIRE CMS SHOULD WORK ON THOSE WATCHES!

I mean, don't get me wrong, I like a challenge but it's just not right, I mean, I'm still not sure what the right way to handle tables on phones is, but smart watches, just no. Besides that, I've never worked with any Apple devices, let alone WatchOs, nor have I worked with Android Wear.

Also, Project Manager is a total dickhead, he's the kinda guy that prefers a light theme, doesn't clean up his code, writes 0 documentation for an API, 1 space = tab, pure horror.

So after almost flipping my desk, I just called my school coach to announce I'm leaving this internship. After a brief explanation he decides to come over, and guess what, according to the Project Manager I wasn't supposed to do that, I was supposed to test if it would be possible.

FUCKING ASSFUCKFACE

Just downloaded some big ass codebase and the first line i read is:

"// The source code is not well documented, but every advanced programmer will be able to understand it after some time."

Well... let's find out about your definition of "some time", Dickhead!

Preface: This client, let's call him dickhead, is running a successful brick-and-mortar based business in one of the top cities of the world. He is highly qualified in a non-IT field.

Rant: This son of a shitbag things he knows everything because he can search on Google, has a degree, owns an expensive business, and of course has money. Does not listen to my suggestions on which framework to use, how to integrate stuff, etc. because he thinks he is the fucking father of Linus Torvalds, and Linus built Linux kernel out of his super-intelligent sperm.

But that titbag can't understand the simple fact that he has spent the last 2 fucking years building stupid websites which he thought from his brain located alongside his balls. None of those websites are in the condition to launch, forget making a difference. Primary reason being using wrong frameworks for wrong purpose, but his half-assed brain can't understand this.

Ok story of my most most recent job search (not sure devRant could handle the load if I was to go through them all)

First a little backstory on why I needed to search for a new job:

Joined a small startup in the blockchain space. They were funded through grants from a non-profit setup by the folks who invented the blockchain and raised funds (they gave those funds out to companies willing to build the various pieces of the network and tools).

We were one of a handful of companies working on the early stages of the network. We built numerous "first"s on the network and spent the majority of our time finding bugs and issues and asking others to fix them so it would become possible, for us to do what we signed up for. We ended up having to build multiple server side applications as middleware to plug massive gaps. All going great, had a lot of success, were told face to face by the foundation not to worry about securing more funds at least for the near term as we were "critical to the success of the network".

1 month later a bug was discovered in our major product, was nasty and we had to take it offline. Nobody lost any funds.

1-2 months later again, the inventor of the blockchain (His majesty, Lord dickhead of cuntinstein) decided to join the foundation as he wasn't happy with the orgs progress and where the network now stood. Immediately says "see that small startup over there ... yeah I hate them. Blackball them from getting anymore money. Use them as an example to others that we are not afraid to cut funds if you fuck up"

Our CEO was informed. He asked for meetings with numerous people, including His royal highness, lord cockbag of never-wrong. The others told our CEO that they didn't agree with the decision, but their hands were tied and they were deeply sorry. Our CEO's pleas with The ghost of Christmas cuntyness, just fell on deaf ears.

CEO broke the news to us, he had 3 weeks of funds left to pay salaries. He'd pay us to keep things going and do whatever we could to reduce server costs, so we could leave everything up long enough for our users to migrate elsewhere. We reduced costs a lot by turning off non essential features, he gave us our last pay check and some great referrals. That was that and we very emotionally closed up shop.

When news got out, we then had to defend ourselves publicly, because the loch ness moron, decided to twist things in his favour. So yeah, AMAZING experience!

So an unemployed and broken man, I did the unthinkable ... I set my linkedin to "open to work". Fuck me every moronic recruiter in a 10,000 mile radius came after me. Didn't matter if I was qualified, didn't matter if I had no experience in that language or type of system, didn't matter if my bio explicitly said "I don't work with X, Y or Z" ... that only made them want me more.

I think I got somewhere around 20 - 30 messages per week, 1 - 2 being actually relevant to what I do. Applied to dozens of jobs myself, only contacted back by 1, who badly fucked up the job description and I wasn't a fit at all.

Got an email from company ABC, who worked on the same blockchain we got kicked off of. They were looking for people with my skills and the skills of one other dev in the preious company. They heard what happened and our CEO gave us a glowing recommendation. They largely offered us the job, but both of us said that we weren't interested in working anywhere near, that kick needing prick, again. We wanted to go elsewhere.

Went back to searching, finding nothing. The other dev got a contract job elsewhere. The guy from ABC message me again to say look, we understand your issues, you got fucked around. We can do out best to promise you'll never have to speak to, the abominable jizz stain, again. We'll also offer you a much bigger role, and a decent salary bump on top of that.

Told them i'd think about it. We ended up having a few more calls where they showed me designs of all the things they wanted to do, and plans on how they would raise money if the same thing was to ever happen to them. Eventually I gave in and signed up.

So far it was absolutely the right call. Haven't had to speak to the scrotum at all. The company is run entirely by engineers. Theres no 14 meetings per week to discuss "where we are" which just involves reading our planning tool tickets, out loud. I'm currently being left alone 99% of the week to get work done. and i'm largely in-charge of everything mobile. It was a fucking hellhole of a trip, but I came out the other side better off

I'm sure there is a thought provoking, meaningful quote I could be writing now about how "things always work out" or that crap. But remembering it all just leaves me with the desire to find him and shove a cactus where the sun don't shine

.... happy job hunting everyone!

Senior manager calls me at 3pm today. I’ve known about this issue since last Friday, one of her pions told me to hold off until Thursday when he’s back in the office and that I could prioritise other tasks.

I have another task with a deadline of the 21st with the potential for fines if it’s not done.

Snr manager: “I’m calling to see how this is going”
Me: “cool, it’s not, bigger problems in the world”
Snr manager: “waah, this has to be done Monday or we face the potential of a court case, fines, this is the biggest problem in the world”
Me: “I’ve known about this issue for a week, have been told not to worry too much and nobody has mentioned the impact or timeline you’ve just given me.”
Snr manager: “so can it be done for monday”
Me: “no chance”
Snr manager: “why not?”
Me: “because it’s 3pm Friday and I have 1 hour of Work left, good luck”

My manager was in the room, he got an arsey call soon after. I don’t really care how that one went but he’s a good guy so I’m sure it was fine.

I also had the joy of asking: so give me an idea of the potential fine... to which they wouldn’t give me an answer.

I need this to weigh up which of the potentially finable tasks takes priority.

The other team that had trouble told me all the dates, gave me over a months notice and the scale of the problem.

If you want someone to help: be polite, give them as much warning as you have and be absolutely honest.

The job’s done cause I’m a fucking legend. But they’re not gonna find out until 5pm Monday. That’s the dickhead tax, they get the dickhead tax for being dickheads.

I’m gonna spend Monday working from home, incommunicado. Fuck incompetent arseholes.

Enjoy your weekend everyone, I know I will mine.

So this shit happened today...

We were asked to implement a functionality on the device that allows it to go to standby mode to save battery power. Once the device enters that state, it can only be woken up by actual bus-network activity, and usually that means connecting a shit-ton of wiring harness and network emulation devices... Before implementing and releasing the device software that does this, we told that fucktard customer how difficult it would be for him to connect to the device without such a setup. He seemed to be fine with it and said rather arrogantly that we should implement the requirement as asked...

Well okay you cock-sucking motherfucker, you'll get exactly what you asked for... We implement the functionality and deliver the software...

Now this pile of shit comes back running his mouth on how the device tears down all its interfaces (to reduce power consumption) and he can't connect to the device anymore.... Well what else were you expecting you dickhead.
To make things worse for me apparently he runs to the manager describing his apparent problem. Both of them come to my desk.. With that fucking Bastard hiding his smugly mug behind the manager's back... He thought he was going to have the upper hand... Well guess what fucked piece of shit, I came prepared... I showed the manager how this was a part of the requirements by throwing that JIRA ID in their faces... The manager seems to understand but this relentless fuck wanted me to implement a "workaround" that would allow him to connect to the device easily... The manager almost had me implement that workaround, when I expose a huge security flaw in doing so. Guess what, now the entire team comes to my desk and start supporting my statement... To make it better they also tell how doing so will violate other requirements...

I've never felt so happy in my entire fucking career, when the entire team stood by me and watched that asshole drag his sorry ass back to his place

Story time!

A little over a year ago I was in the hiring process with a new company and countered their initial offer. I was told by the CTO that it was no problem and they would get back to me soon.

A couple days go by and I'm then informed that they're hiring a new IT director and would like me to interview with him as well. It felt kinda lame since I'd already been offered the job but I rolled with it.

When I showed up to the office for an interview I tried to call and let them know I was there and couldn't get a hold of anyone. 30 minutes later I get a call from the CTO saying they couldn't find the new IT director and when they got him to answer the phone he said he had left early and would call me to do a phone interview.

Obviously the whole experience so far has been pretty lame but I stuck with it because I knew the CTO personally. I did the phone interview and quickly realized this dude was a prick, and would be a terrible boss, but I spoke with the CTO again who told me to stick with it and eventually I did get the job.

Fast forward about a month and it's clear the new director is trash. He literally bragged about firing a dude over an accidental outage (wtf!?).

He had the technical experience you'd expect of a junior help desk and his management skills were pretty clearly sub-par.

He was also, for whatever reason, completely unable to communicate with the only woman on our team. When assigning work he would always feel the need to ask if she could 'handle it' rather than just assigning it to her like it's done for everyone else. He was pretty clearly sexist.

The whole team hates this dude by this point but he's somehow managed to woo the executives into thinking he shits gold.

I was helping him set up a Python venv on his machine when I noticed another VPN client installed which certainly piqued my interest. After a bit of digging it was clear he was using company time and company equipment to continue working for his previous employer.

We turned over logs and he was fired the next day. He tried to add me on LinkedIn afterwards and I have never declined something quicker.

Moral of the story is don't be a dickhead.

*registers for an account on RaidForums*
> Sorry mate, we only accept the following email carriers: gmail.*, googlemail.*, hotmail.*, hotmail.*.*, yahoo.*, yahoo.*.*, ymail.*, live.*.*, live.*, outlook.*, outlook.*.*, protonmail.*, riseup.net, aol.com, gmx.de, raid.lol, msn.com, cox.net, mail.ru, att.net, bellsouth.net, laposte.net, rambler.ru, sky.com, mail.com, pm.me, shaw.ca, charter.ca, facebook.com, terra.com.br, libero.it, web.de, free.fr, orange.fr, wanadoo.fr, rediffmail.com, comcast.net, yandex.ru, uol.com.br, bol.com.br, sfr.fr, verizon.net

Now what if some dickhead somewhere wants to use his own domain to be able to reroute any spam from some forum dickheads to /dev/null, hmm? YOU FUCKING WANKERS, LET ME FUCKING USE MY OWN DOMAIN ALREADY YOU TWATS!!!

So I'm on stack overflow trying to give back to the community that has helped me so much yanno.

So I see a question and decide to answer it but I'm on my mobile and trying to write a well formatted etc. answer is a bit tricky so instead I thought I would answer it as best I could on the phone so at least the OP would be going in the right direction and then when I got back to my computer, I would expand on the answer.

But before I had a chance (within 10 minutes of answering) some 200k+ rep dickhead decided it was his job to tell me how bad I was for not giving a proper answer and i have enough rep to comment and I should know better.

So I responded to him (my first mistake) and told him that my answer was intended to get him going and most likely he wouldn't need any more help but that I was going to update it when I got back to my computer.

Well he didn't like that and continued to berate me for my unbelievable behavior.

I then said that if he was that upset, then report me, or even better how about he actually answer the question instead of being a fuckwit to others that have tried.

I also said that I thought that SO and development in general was not about being given the answer but by finding it yourself and actually learning something and that sometimes you need to be pushed it the right direction to find the answer which is what I did here.

Well he disagreed with that too and downvoted my answer which by that point had been updated (like I said I would).

I just don't get it, what is wrong with these people and why has SO become such a toxic place?

I want to give back to the community and help others like people have done for me over the years, but then fuckheads like this just ruin it and make you not want to be a part of it anymore.

Then I come here to devRant and everyone is so nice to each other, you can see the respect.

This just makes me mad every time.

I have a friend who asks for help in coding and just reads and copies my whole code, doesn't even understand what's going on and just copies the whole damn thing (the variable names too). Also, says I don't know how to do it properly because I indent the code and he wants it all in a single line.

If there is any error in the code, just tells me that there is a problem and does nothing and keeps nagging me if I solved the problem every 2 minutes.

Once I solve the problem, just copies the stuff again and then brags to others about the code and takes all the credit.

After bragging, if someone asks him for help he just tried to match the code line by line and worry by word. And tells them their code is wrong if they are using a different method of solving the problem and asks them to do it like him.

Being an introvert, I don't go shoving my stuff in others faces and criticising their code.

But the professor knows I am good, so that works for me. :)

Why does the idea of having to develop social skills somehow seem to scare the fuck out of a large portion of you?

Is being a likeable human being such a weird concept? What do you expect? To people just validate your entire existence based on how good you can sit in front of a set of monitors and push code out? Thousands of monkeys can do that shit. Thousands of systems will eventually do such things.

for whatever reason the "I am a fucking asshole that can code" trope seems to be a "real thing" amongst developers. A mfker can know waaaaaaay less than you, have the same credentials (degrees etc) and will get the job because you were too busy building an online persona governing how better you are than everyone else. How "quirky" and Sheldon Cooper like you are. You think that makes you likeable? "i don't need to be likeable" <---- yes the fuck you are, because this shit is something in which people can be trained upon.

A team, regardless of how much you agree with this, can choose a person solely based on how well he/she/whatever clicks with them. You might be the end all be all of development, but if they don't like you or feel you will not be someone worthwile to be around, will not chose you. They will go with the charismatic newbie that can learn the same shit you so dear hold on to, because they are likeable.

Sticking to a merit based "I am the best there is" asshole mentality is a thing of the fucking past, boomer mentality. For which newer generations are parting ways with, with still profitable results. workable results. Production ready results.

Yet you chose to stick to a "I might be a quirky annoying fuck, but I am the best" mentality?

This is why you were bullied. This is why you can't get any dick, this is why you can't get any pussy, this is why you sit your ass in your little dark room trying to convince yourself that being lonely is a choice, not a situation in which you put your ass in. This is why I also dislike developers online.

Most of you might be the nicest mfkers on the planet when dealing with on a face to face basis, but if you put this shit on a screen for the world to see you will be viewed upon as some dickhead.

Fuck this "code is my life" mentality, shit is but a paycheck, a craft is not a glimpse into what you are as a person, but a way in which you make a paycheck. Molding your personality, based on what you do for a living, really?

Damn man, shit is just so fucking sad. So cringeworthy even.

Typically my low motivation stems from some form of management dickhead-itis, too much red tape or restrictive processes (current place took 3.5 months + 2 forms to order a webcam our client had paid for as part of the project ... it was €45).

How I deal with it? I try to give a go changing it, talking with managers, explaining the issues, suggesting alternatives. Such as removing your head from your ass, when done, it can have a wonderful impact to the team.

When that fails (not if) ... I quit. Which I actually just have. Got a job offer last week, although I really wasn't a fan of how things were going on this team, I was working on some cool projects and wasn't sure what was right for me, career-wise.

Then I had a argument with a new manager as he doesn't remember agreeing to allow the developers to estimate their own tasks. He was annoyed I told him we can't do X in 2 weeks, we previously asked for 2 months.

That was enough to knock me over the edge, so I handed in my notice, took the job with much more management style responsibility and hoping for a fresh start.

When your client thinks they will get a quicker response by emailing you the same email to multiple addresses, they don't know I have a filter that sends them straight to the shithead folder skipping the inbox! Bye bye problem.

Wtf y'all see shitposting and then you decide to continuously upvote it.

Look retards. Part of being a Computer Scientist, or whatever shit branch you are part in this vast field...is detecting patterns....if you see some dickwad shitposting the same shit over and over or using fucking retarded ass themes, or some jase shit then downvote the shit out of it.

Fuck me.

Someone can make his theme to be just posting ascii penises and you retards would upvote that shit to oblivion.

Stupid ass community.

"THeN lEave" <--- i was prob here before you dickhead....go suck on cock somewhere else.

Damn y'all are fucking idiotic...this what happens when we make retards believe they can be engineers

A dickhead boss that wrote a single fucking sql select (SELECT * FROM data WHERE 1) to display all the not normalized and redundant shit in an html 4.0 styled table. He proudly shown that shit to me saying "modify it to make a crud that will become a full management software in the 2.0". Furthermore he wants to scarpe data from websites that ecplicitly say that using that data it's not legal.

God bless the Git, for the has done the forsaken and deleted a script many a era ago, and on this blessed day of days, he who is a dickhead needed such thy script to test functionality thy requires to be in the heavenly clouds to utilise....

Fuck I love git history to save me from having to write this thing again 🥰

Ps: IF YOU DON'T USE GIT, BE ASHAMED!

A brief, and biased opinion of what love is in the dev world:

Love is my employees bringing me something to eat when they know I stay back so that they can all go out do whatever they can do.

Love is my CMS admin getting his ass up and walking all the way to my office when the director walks in to say some STUPID FUCKING SHIT to me that he(CMS Admin) knows would have me 2 fucking seconds away from getting out of my chair and drop kicking the fuck out of him.

Love is the rest of my employees getting up to follow along in case(certainly) one dude is not able to hold me down.

Love is them knowing that I know that their mere presence there will make me chill the fuck out and not choke the fucking director

Love is the CMS Admin proof reading every email I send to a bitch that was trying to get smart, to make sure that I was not being agressive.

Love is said CMS Admin bringing me coffee or a coke congratulating me on listening to him about X email not being aggressive (there is no passive in my vocabulary, just balls out "isn't this your fucking job" aggressive)

Love is my lead developer showing to work after medical treatment fucked up as all hell because he knows that if he is not there I will do a billion things myself in order to give him some rest.

Love is taking my CMS admin and lead dev out to eat when a major stakeholder shits on something I damn well know it took them a while to finish. Love is also letting me open up to said stakeholder to tell them how much of a fucktard they are, sometimes they let me loose, and I appreciate that.

Love is every small person in the company approaching you to tell you of their issues, becuase they care more about the productivity they give to their users, rather than the bullshit numbers their managers care about.

Love is the staff of other places taking care of you because you are not a VP dickhead that treats them like shit.

Love is the HR reps sending you personal e-mails asking you for help because their shitbag of a boss does not count for help and leaves them in the blank with shit software, for which said HR go above and beyond for you later on even though said shitbag manager said no.

Love is your team getting angry and responding respectfully at people when they talk shit about their manager on their emails (manager being me)

Love is your employees closing your door for you when they know you are overwhelmed and you need a quick second to pull yourself up.

Love is not wanting to leave this miserable place because you know some dickweed will be left in charge of the people that care for you, trust you, work for you regardless of the date, and confide in you.

They got me locked in, this shitty institution, for now. Until I find a way to bring my entire team with me.

Can someone tell who the fuck lets morons with absolutely 0 knowledge of how the industry works go on and write articles concerning "what programming languages to learn" clickbait articles?

Look, I never looked into them. Not even when starting, I knew (out of spite) that the people that built Windows Vista were developers and then I went ahead to look what a software engineer was. I went down the rabbit hole from that and my next step at the time (I was on the local library) was to go ahead and look for programming books, C++ and Java caught my eye, so I got them two books and went down. Later on I found about JS and Python and similar shit like that and I just continued to learn. I seldom bothered to learn from internet articles because to my opinion if I needed to read documentation then I might as well fucking read it from the people that designed X technology.

some were good, some were shit, etc etc, but I never bothered to look for "what programming languages to learn" articles because I could give close to two shits about some other dickhead telling me what to learn, I have always been rather hesitant to take other people's opinion into consideration when it comes to my own learning.

BUT today I clicked on one of those articles out of curiosity.....

"Many DEVELOPER (notice the lack of proper grammar) choose to leave Visual Basic in favor of more modern frameworks like C#, Java or .NET"

Ok, so, for whatever the fuck reason Java is mentioned along C# and a fucking framework (.NET) rather than just C# for microsoft shit, is this moron talking about VB.NET at all? is he going about VB6? what? what is going on here?

Obj C is not relevant at all and should be immediately replaced by Swift since it is a modern, and stable language (never mind that each release has breaking changes on entire code bases, yeah, fuck it, just jump alltogether and ignore Obj C and the decades of stable code it has)

"Coffeescript has been replaced by the newer features of Java" <--- ok fam, you lost me here, give me your "ITPro" card please and then kick yourself repeatedly in the groin since I won't be bothered touching you, i might get some stOOpid on me.

Fuck, these articles are all over the place, from idiots like the one above, to the moron raving about pharo smalltalk shitting on every tech you use.

Just.....please bring back shit like byte magazine and shit.....please? or Linux Format, make Linux Format more popular across the board, where people who know their shit think twice before spewing their bullshit to the masses? Some fucking kid there might want to know where to start and these fucking idiots are out there just ruining shit for everything.

You know. I have mixed feelings on the way people have been reacting to senzory's rant regarding the way he deals with clients. Some people believe that he is unethical, some people see it as just business(me included) but to see what the community says is somewhat interesting.

First, let me be clear on something: i have been fucked over by clients many times for being a nice guy and trying to play it nicely.

Because of this I am selective of who deserves good treatment and who gets to fuck off. But regardless of the client I do the same thing: regardless of who it is, nice or otherwise. If a project will take 1 week to complete then I tell them that it will take 3 to 4 weeks. Why? Well because I have many things on my plate, I am married and have two children, one lives with me and I try to spend as much time with them as I can. I work from 8 to 6, sometimes later and when I get home I sometimes don't do shit since at work I maintain the web services of 2 fucking college campuses.
I don't look for my clients. Through word of mouth they come to me. And being in a privileged position(there are about 5 devs here and they all suck) they can either do with my times and fees or can fuck off over the border where Pedro will do their shit on vbscript and classic ASP(which I like, but you know why this is not an option in 2018)

Apps can be sold for large quantities of money, regardless of what their use case is, if a company wants to outsource their apps to an external developer(such as yours truly) that means that they are willing to play the game. And that is what business is: a game, a survival game.

Where I live, a company will not think twice of firing a single mother for whatever reason. In the U.S of A, and specially in Texas, you can be fired for whatever reason. I have automated people's jobs without knowing it, I have made people lose their jobs and saved companies thousands with my apps. Things like that were not know to me, had I known that someone would have lost their jobs I would have tried differently.

If a company is willing to tell employees(loyal employees) to fuck off, then i do not regret charging what I do and hustling the way I do with rat faced dickheads that care not for people. If I could I would destroy entire companies here. But that is for another story.

I have been used, insulted, gambled with and have been lied to, to my face by these companies. Which has left me jaded.

Oh now, trust me. I am still highly optimistic and nice. And if someone has a small business and I can help them out, then I will lower my rate and give positive vibes in the hopes of making things better through karma. I want to see the best in people. But this does not stop me from being a shark and giving quotes the way I do.

Because companies, as an overall entity are not people with the best intentions(sometimes) and they will not take your kindness, they will take advantage if possible in an effort to save money. Its just dickhead business.

So why, as a professional and privileged developer that obtained his skills through intense study and practice, a wizard by all means, should lower to these nameless, Faceless entities?
Why should i give them the fairness they do not give others? Why should I play the high morale game and come out as a loser?

At the end of the day, I get to swim in my own pool of success, knowing that they did not get the chance to fuck me over

So if you tell me that you took advantage of your hard earned skillset, and built a cross platform app(which compiles to native binaries) and sold 2 products for one, I will tell you that you are an excellent player at their game. If you tell me that you finished before and got to charge for 2 weeks of work doing just 2 days I will say that you are an excellent time manager. And if you tell me that at the end of the day you managed to keep said customer I will tell you that you are a true professional.

There is a difference lads, in selling a product to big momma jamma's cajun restaurant, to the largest logistics company around.

Be nice to those that desserve it.

Encouraged a friend to quit his current job. He is mentally unstable now because of his employer. His jerk employer harasses him and blames him stuff he didn't do. Blames him pre-existing bugs/bad features/bad codes from three years ago! He just got employed by that jerk employer two months ago. I know how my friend works because he was once my team leader for 19 months. He works harder and is one of the best devs I've ever met. He doesn't deserve a dickhead employer and that dickhead employer DOES NOT deserve a talented(skillful) software engineer like my friend. If anything happens to my friend, a lot of people will be hunting him down.

Bit of an essay. TLDR: come Monday I'm either getting fired or promoted. And the CTO is a dickhead. If you think you work with me or know who I am, no you don't, shut the hell up.

Was having a discussion with my team, went on for a bit, at one point my manager mentioned that the CTO wanted me to go into the office occasionally, same thing I've had since I joined when they literally wanted me to move hundreds of miles to be close to the office mid covid when the office was closed. I give a nondescript answer. He's a bit more persistent, I snap a little but the conversation moves on. Discussion of company and team dynamics, at one point he makes a comment about people at another company being told if they don't go into the office they won't be eligible for promotion.

I ask everyone else on the call to leave.

I point out that 2 years ago me and him were interviewing candidates. He on a few occasions introduces me to candidates as a _senior_ engineer. My job title does not contain the word senior. I let it slide the first time, not worth it for a slip of the toung. Happens a couple more times, I take him aside and privately point out my job title does not contain the word senior. He says he didn't realise and thought I was.

My take away then: I'm expected to do the work of a senior without being paid for it and without being given the acknowledgement of the appropriate job title. I remind him of this. My job title hasn't changed. Fuck, I took a low ball offer when I joined and have had a minimal pay rise in like, 3 years. My tone is "not happy".

His response? He discussed promoting me with CTO however budged constraints. I somewhat understand, however.

We have promoted several people in the last few years. We have grown by hiring new people in the last few years (5 in a company of 30). There are ways to compensate someone in ways that do not impact day to day budget (shares, TC, total compensation, is normal terminology in the tech field for this). I ask why the hell should I travel a few hundred miles to the office to get get to know people, put effort in to a company that demonstrably doesn't value me? Particularly as all levels of management have completely failed at developing a social atmosphere during covid? My first month, I had 3 5 minute meetings with my manager a week. That was all of the communication I had with people. I literally complained and laid out what they should do instead, they adopted most of it.

I also ask him if he genuinely thinks being here is in my professional interest? My tone has well passed pissed off.

I will say, I actually quite like my manager, we have a good working relationship and I've learned a lot from him.

He makes some mediocre points, tries to give advice about value of shares. To me, the value of shares is zero until they are money. The value to the company, however, is that it's a sizeable chunk on their balance sheet and shares sheet that they have to be willing to justify. If I wanted money, I'd go work at a high frequency trading bank and make 5x what I'm on now. No joke, that's what they pay, I could get a job, came close in the past but went to amazon. He understands.

He says will discuss with CTO. They were on a call for like an hour. His tone has changed to "you will be promoted ASAP, comp may be structured as discussed". Point made.

I'm in this job because it's convenient, is easy for me. Was originally lower challenge than previous, has a range of chances to learn and _that's_ the value to me. He's suitably nervous.

Point made I think.

So given I swore a few times, at least once about the CTO. Interesting to see how it goes.

Message from him to the effect that he spoke to CTO, has been told to write a proposal for promotion (kinda standard), will discuss with HR on Monday as they're on holiday.

So, maybe not getting fired today?

Blood pressure still very high.

So this happened last week.

Last week I went as a volunteer to give an introduction class basic programming to some guys and gals who are going to attend computer science soon next year.

The class lasted one week and we had done some basic algorithms and programming in Python.
Besides that we also did some very basic websites (html, css and javascript).

Obviously all those people were very enthusiastic.
Some were a little bit too enthusiastic...

There were these 2 guys who were best friends. They already knew everything apparently. Even though they just finished high school they had been programming for over 10 years, had already made countless of websites, applications, 'hacked Windows', RATs and some amazing games.

So there were some people there who never had programmed before. I started giving the lecture and warned people who already knew some basics of programming the first day might be a quite boring but I could not simply skip it obviously.

Those 2 dickheads acted like the biggest childs ever, started screaming in class, making sure everyone knew they were bored, and were constantly complaining to me that they know what print, for, while and strings were. I stayed calm and tried to explain them again I simply couldn't skip parts of the lecture for them.

Every hour and every day it started getting worse and worse with them. Not only but the whole class were furiously mad at them. Some other students even started screaming at them. They screamed back insulting everyone they even didn't what php was and stupid stuff like that.

At some point they interrupted me AGAIN and asked me how long I programmed. I told him little them over 5 years or something. They started laughing at me. Those 2 dickheads looked at me like they were so much better than me because they programmed over 10 years.

At some point, almost the last day, I had enough of their bullshit, interruption, screaming, insulting other students who asked questions, ... I said you know what, you give the lecture!

They refused because they felt too good for all these other 'noobs' (the other students). They would never become good and blah blah more bullshit.

I said alright, we're doing websites, you've made some websites, show me your most impressive website.

He was happy and felt honered.

He sent me the whole folder and I showed his website on code on the big screen in the room.

Then I said: "Everyone, pay close attention to this!"

That dickhead smiled and felt good

Me: "This is how NOT to make a website"

I started explaining to everyone all things that were complete shit and all things that were straight up sins.

That one friend of the dickhead stayed quiet. The other dickhead became as red as a tomato. At some points you even saw tears in his eyes. At some point he insulted me I was a scriptie and simply left.

The class started clapping.

One of the weirdest but also best moments of my life

Moral: Don't act like a complete bigheaded dickhead, don't feel better than everyone and show some respect

Thank you for reading

Have a nice day!

Fuck you dickhead. If you don't like how I'm doing things, just fucking do them yourself. Or how about you give me some specifications, designs, a consistent database model? No? Fine, then don't fucking complain when I make do with what I have.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Back in 2009 when I started coding, some dickhead told me to not learn Vim because professional developers normally use IDEs for shit instead of text editors.

Being the kind of person that I am, I shrugged him off as the cocksucker that he was and decided to learn Vim anyway.

Fast forward to 2015 up to 2018

I
Use
That
Bitch
Religiously

At work. For fucking everything since it is what you have when you ssh into a server and lemme tell ya this:

I you guys thought being a Vim master ain't dropping no one's panties....boy u wrong af.

And nano is fine too, but why settle for less when you can be a complete vim black wizard?

WANKETEERING FUCKING CUNTS!!!!!

Just now I had this great incident with rosé wine hitting my couch (on a Monday, yet another reason to hate that fucking shit day). If that is you dear Google searcher, let me tell you this. GRAB YOUR FUCKING SALT, AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN AND POUR IT ON THERE IMMEDIATELY!!!

(edit: seems to work quite well for sucking up the wine moisture, not sure about smell or discoloration.. so far so good)

At least that's what a wanketeering cunt told me after having me read through 5 minutes of their dribble. While the motherfucker explicitly mentions that you're on a time limit, mind you!!! Because you know, fuck your goddamn couch, I want that fraction of a cent in ad money, that oh you've blocked it? I have no fucking idea. But waste your time on my shitsite nonetheless!!!

You know what, marketeering motherfucking dickhead. If that salt isn't going to fix my goddamn fucking couch, how about I take your goddamn shitsite down for the next FUCKING MONTH, HUH?!! Just to make up for the hundreds of fucking euros that a motherfucking couch is worth?! That'll serve you fucking right for pissing off a hacker!!! MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

Has it ever happened to anyone that you get hired as a backend java developer without going through any sort of evaluation and for some reason you start getting only design/frontend tasks and you politely complain but the dickhead says "well you should be able to do everything, and I want it before tomorrow" but you kind of need the money so "what the hell" and a couple days later you fully remember again how much you hate spending a whole day trying to get a bloody bar sticked to the bottom of the page while some dickass hits your slack and whatssapp with the nerving "where are my screens?" and start thinking "...do I really need to eat this month..." but anyways you make your research and ask for help and stop sleeping and do as much as you can to get the sh*t done and please the dickhead because you want his money?
...Anyone?
...No?
...Just me?
...Oh well, have a nice day/evening

Called yourself a what? "Chief Technology Officer / Senior Dev" ? For a simple clear cache and cannot do that on your own, you giraffe? Only if I have not pitied you AND YOUR FUCKING EGO, I already sent you a Fucking Love Resignation Letter, you dickhead! You should be ashamed of yourself!!

Why do people idolize Steve Jobs?

All he did was create a massive corporation that make overpriced products and refuse to be compatible with anything else.

The man is a dickhead.

How long will it be before clients "get it" the web is a fluid medium it can't and shouldn't be fixed like ink on paper. Unless I do your website as a set of jpegs, you dickhead.

Internships are fucking bullshit and if more senior developers were to take the role of an actual mentor to coach juniors properly then the state of software engineering would be better.

Some people can be let down easy in terms of "this is not for you bruh", others can be built. I know that social interactions are not common for a lot of the morons in here, but being polite and kind is relatively simple if you know what you are doing. Being a dickhead != "royal levels of expertise" and if we were to coach more people into proper development practices then software would not be in such a shitty state.

For an environment that thrives in cooperation I find it hard to believe that we are still subjecting new people to the field to what can be considered slavery with little to actual no monetary compensation.

I removed many of the requirements for the application to a software developer job where I am at (I am the boss, I get to do shit like that) and my fight with HR was "I would rather someone fresh from college that I can coach properly than some dickhead with years on the field that won't listen to anything else than their own words"

Sure it would be slow, sure it would be hard, nothing ever is that simple, but my idea is "train this mkfer, level the fuck out of him, let him be off to great shit rather than giving him to some dickhead that will treat him like shit on account of being a newbie"

And yes, I do know how and what can go bad, I am going to have someone desinging shit in basic html/js/css with some php here and there not giving them the keys to every server I control. Thank you for your fucking concerns, I know what I am doing.

the experiment fails? GOOD more data for me.

Plus, you learn more when you teach others.

5 of us working for a larger team were tasked with doing some R&D, we blew everyone away and were given funding to start a new team and hire people to make the project come to life.

One of the high level sales / product managers we were reporting to, secretly had another team work on a similar idea because he needed it quicker (i.e. no time for research, just build it).

After forming new team, we were asked to work on his project instead because it was further along. 4 months later, big knob comes to a meeting and basically says "You know what, this doesn't look like we have enough features, we need more, but I don't know what".

Project blew up 2 months later, head of the unit kicked up a shit storm saying how badly everything was planned and canned everything. Now one of our clients is building nearly the same thing we were originally working on, the team no longer exists and i'm back on the R&D team.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the R&D team, actually didn't want to leave in the first place but was told I had to. But the sheer anger and frustration to see that walking cluster fuck strutting around like his shit doesn't stink, derailing entire teams, meanwhile we can't hire new staff due to lack of funding.

Heres an idea, fire the fucktards bleeding us dry ... then we'll have lots of funding.

I am building a live streaming app.

General public: why don't you use periscope

I am building a photo sharing app

General public: why don't you use Instagram

I am building a social network

General public: why don't you use Facebook

I am build a audio app

Genera public: why don't you use sound cloud

Developer: WHY DONT YOU ALL FUCK OFF I am building it anyway dickhead

When you finally see a series of ✓'s across all tests - today is a good day!

Now to write a whole bunch more that......, that dickhead past @C0D4 didn't do.

So I am assigned to a new team to take over the leading position because the guy who did it up till now quit. And there is this guy who today seriously shared his screen with my boss and the rest of the team to point out that I formatted something wrong...

Realy it was something like
super.doFunctionA().thenFunctionB() instead of putting it like
super
.functionA()
.functionB()

He said he wanted to call me out early to avoid spreading of this "wrong formatting"

He wants to start a war? This fuckhead can have it!
Soon I will be the one who writes his tasks... hf

So it's done. I signed my new contract with my new company after I left my old job. Better contract level, better pay, better benefits (at my old office they didn't even give me a pc. I had to use mine..)..
But the sad/funny story is that my old boss do not talk to me anymore because he can't understand why I'm leaving..sooo mature!
I really don't care because actually he do not deserve anything from me, he's (and forever will be) an arrogant prig without humility.
The only regret is leaving the co-workers I bound with..but I'm sure we'll be in touch.
Yep.. maybe this is definitely a rant/story!
Wish me good luck for this new adventure!

I Googled "png to svg converter", this is the output of the first online tool I tried.

This dev literally just a base64 encoded copy of my origin image wrapped in an svg... the most infuriating thing about it is that technically it did 'convert' it to svg - just not in the way I had anticipated.

Whoever wrote this is a lazy genius (and a dickhead).

Go is fast they said, Go is lightweight they said.

package main

import "fmt"

func main() {
var nums []int
for i := 10; i > 0; i++ {
nums = append(nums, i)
i--
}
fmt.Println(nums)
}

# htop
| PID | USER | VIRT | %CPU | %MEM
| 12048 | root | 16.9g | 101.3 | 94.2

WTF is eating my resources to hell and.... oh... oh im a dickhead!

So building a game engine/framework/thing/thang and was working on a scripting language designed for the Dev terminals commands/applications...

Then I also have to design a language for the asset scripts, instances (probably going to do JSON) and it only took me about 4 months of planning to realise I could just use the same language for everything and just double down on the one.

Well aren't I a fucking dickhead .-.

hey dickhead, you could, at least, test everything is working after you merged your branch.Now you have leaving the company, i'm the one in charge of cleaning up your shit.

Hope you will eat a dick every time one of your program fail 'cause of your lack of test

It's fucking never worth it, to be decent to colleagues. I got prove of that just this evening. Sorry, this rant will be a bit longer.

A colleague of mine inherited some legacy project that I worked on in the past. He clearly hates working on it. And tbh. I can't blame him for it. It's not very fun. He also makes virtually no effort to become more proficient in it.

This usually leads to him calling for my aid, whenever any problem arises, that would require any kind of effort to solve. I would normally cave in and help him. Mostly due to the fact, that without any intervention from me, it would end on my desk sooner or later.

That changed in the last few months, as I simply couldn't make free time to help him. anymore. I was working overtime and the associated project barely got done on time. During that time I would, as politely as possible, deny him. He knows fully how stressful the project was getting.

Today he asked for help again. I denied again, as a task was due very soon. He didn't reply to my message afterwards. After a few hours suddenly I got a bunch of his jira issues assigned to me.

The motherfucker simply shoved _all_ of his support issues to me. Not only that, he also assigned the issue he was asking for help for earlier as well. All without consulting me or anything. Then he pissed of into his vacation.

Some of his support issues have been created last year! And they are still not solved. He simply isn't replying to questions in those issues or just assigns them to others colleagues without any instructions.

Fuck him. Other colleagues don't even respond to him anymore. He fully fucking knows that I have a tight deathline on my current task. And still he chose to dump all his work on me, so that I have to waste time to reassign it and report it to our superior.

Fuck him for creating more stress in this already stressful situation. Enjoy your vacation you fucking leech. I will have quite a "nice suprise" waiting for you, when you return.

!rant
Who in their right mind puts an id on the head tag.

Css? Don't need it.
JavaScript ? Can directly access it anyway

It fucking breaks old browsers your not even giving them a chance to look at least average !

This is for a huge site as well that he got to work on because he is related to the owner .. he's an arrogant prick as well ... Don't know shit bout programming anything

Got fired today due to one big cunt who just joined to sabotage all junior devs because his older than all of us, im dissapointed at how arrogant some of you old devs are, the good old days development houses used to be fun and young, i respect all of you with great heart but we are not trying to compete with you if we know knew tech better than you, times have changed, if you are still dumb about bootstrap dont hate on anyone but yourself. Grow deFaQuPndStopHating

Mentoring rocks!!!

I have been lucky to have a wonderful mentor. He helped me to get my master CS after I arrived in Montreal. When I had a housing problem not only did he take me in for a couple of weeks but he even helped me get a new flat!

He's the reason I'm not a dickhead.

I continue to have mentorees. Get them around the last year of their bachelor (they need to know how to code) and follow them for 3 years.

"Be the change you want to see" - everyone who quotes Gandhi

Happy New Year everyone 🦁🍾🎄🎁❤️❤️❤️

I know ive been a dickhead at times (or all the time) and will probably continue to be but thats because this app is like my personal psychotherapist. U guys are my therapists and i appreciate that.

Thanks for all the the moments. Looking forward to making more and new ones in this year ❤️

2024

University, first Java practical lesson.

I'm sitting near this guy, clearly hyped up because he managed to install his first linux distro earlier.

After 5 minutes he asks me how to do the task the Professor assigned that morning.

I'm playing dumbass in my head, thinking stuff like "oh big boy installed ubuntu but can't declare a fucking Rectangle class in java lol" (what a dickhead).

I helped him, and then proposed to go out for a quick smoke.

Turns out we're very similar, hyped as hell with linux (like I was at the time), with same CS interests. Still texting sometimes.

Why can't my fucking mind just calm down for even a split second? It takes me sometimes up to 2 hours to fall asleep, I can't take this shit anymore, I'm going insane.

Why the hell must Microsoft always be dickhead about the telemetry.
Take one beautiful NET.CORE. I make an app for myself, deploy it only to find out that those data-hungry arses have built-in default enabled telemetry and the only way to disable it is to set one dick-long env. variable:
DOTNET_CLI_TELEMETRY_OPTOUT="1"
Seriously ??
No way to exclude it completely, you have to sweat blood everywhere it runs.
Consent ? Hardly, just small line during installation...
I swear everything MS touches turns into spyware...

Am I the only one who encounters these dickhead teachers, who live in a world, where they think that you have just their subject?

I mean that kind of professor, who shows up 30 minutes late to a lecture, sends you source code with no commetary because fuck you with a rusty fork and tells you that we have no time to write the code during the class?

The one who shows you a shitty presentation with the same code he just sent you, just cut into 72 slides and at every slide tells something like this is pretty self explanatory, x just does y and if you ask a question he gives you that deep stare, like if you really mean it seriously to waste his time, since he really really wants to go to his office sooner so he can scratch his balls?

That type of professor who tells you that as a student of CS degree you are required to put some passion to your craft and study when you arrive at home and hes there just to give you guidelines, but apparently somehow forgotten that people usually need to sleep?

That same cunt who doesnt give a shit that you have 4 more projects to finish this week, doesnt push the deadline, nor give you advice, because you had opporturnity to ask the whole time?

But still that motherfucker, who gives you test questions that he took from mouth of Satan himself and then questions your answers like Where did you get that from?

Well fuck yall who do that shit, hope that you suffocate yourself while eating bread.

Why these douches doesnt understand, that even if we arent under the Working Laws, working more than 40 hours a week isnt the best way to keep us sane or motivated.

So I've been working as an operator in IBM for a year now. Two months after my onboard our team got an onboarding freeze. Since then more than a half of the team left and more are supposed to go, soo there is a problem covering all the workload. I volunteered to take 4th customers workload (out of 4 customers our team supports) because I already knew most of the work that is done there.
At a one-to-one meeting with my manager I asked for a little raise, because I have the 4th customer, I take other peoples shift anytime they need to take a free day, I update the documentation regularly, I write scripts for coworkers for installing software/automating what can be automated (and I'm the youngest here...) bla bla, telling him that I think I do a lot for the team and I deserve it. He told me that he would rather take away one of the customers workload. I rolled my eyes and went with it.
Two days later this asshole gave a raise to a guy, who was onboarding with me, because he wanted to motivate him. That very same day he told us that it seems like two customers are going to merge into one workload.
I'm so pissed because of this. I do my best all the time so I can get promoted to 2nd level linux team (I'm kinda one foot there) but the freeze is still preventing me to go. I'm already so tired of dealing with the bullshit of customer not knowing their own infrastructure, shitstorms of tickets during changes after level 2 didn't set maintenance mode again, repairing coworkers linux boxes because they don't know better and I'm so pissed at this un-initiative dickhead of a manager that gives a raise to lazy people.

Someone today told me that I represent the chillest vibe that Texas can muster and I really did appreciate that.

Would I've had my hat on, I would've tipped it and said thank you. But I was not playing cowboy that day.

I just don't want people from the outside and from within the states to think that we are all a bunch of racist republitard rednecks, I don't mind being called a redneck, but shit man I ain't one to hate on people based on their preferences/etc/etc/etc

You can be a rough cowboy and still be nice to mfkas, shit ain't hard at all, matter of fact I think it is easier to be nice than to be a total dickhead. I will drop a motherfucker down in 2 secs if need to tho.

I just want mfkas to be happy around me.

The overuse of something is designed to demoralize and discourage the very thing.

Vapid christmas jingles, meaningless consumerism, blackfriday shopping, keeping up with the joneses, decorations and tinsel bullshit so overloaded on homes and trees that it looks like a gaudy airstrip display, holiday-town-esque themes and festivals so frequent, overcooked and overcommercialized that its like you've stepped into a 40-year-old sterile suburban house-wives braindrain internal fantasy reruns of regurgitated hallmark christmas romance movies.

Alls fair love and christmas.

In other news, some strapping young and intrepid adventurer *lit a public christmas tree on fire*.

Its a shame really, when we can't just enjoy the simple things without some dickhead going and spoiling it. But also I can't help but ask

"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"

PM's latest modification on my code:
deleted log
deleted my name from author comment

The client wants the booking project to be all in JS Framework (not specifying any) and NO PHP since client hates PHP (and I don't know why) from the very beginning when the only dev was my former front-end partner (lead dev).
I was wondering why the client still continued the project, YET the file extensions were still on PHP. I asked the lead dev what happened and answered he didn't know know how to start migrating to JS framework and just started NATIVE PHP.
Still, as being a good dev and a supporter to lead dev, did accept and the project as lead dev's assistant. Fixed bugs, enhancement and responsive (DEMMIT, I FREAKING HATE RESPONSIVE) and later complained why am I doing front-end tasks, when it's not my task, supposedly. I EXPECTED MORE ON BACK-END TASKS!

(HERE'S THE EPIC ADVISE GOES AND CALLED OURSELVES MASTER)

Me: Master, why did you not started the project in JS Framework instead of native php?
Lead Dev : You know what master, this project has been already done if the client allows US to use WordPress for this project will still be migrated to JS. And now, WE are trapped to make every window size be responsive since there are already a standard for each window screen.
Me: (DO NOT INCLUDE ME IN YOUR FUCKING SORCERY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID THERE AND WHY D'YOU ACCEPT THIS PROJECT, SLAVE, WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO IT, IN THE FIRST PLACE. STOP BEING A DICKHEAD AND DO NOT WASTE CLIENT'S MONEY AND EFFORT FOR YOUR USELESS BUNCH OF SHIT!) Indeed, responsive is a such a pain in the arse.
Lead Dev: Maybe, let's just finish our tasks first and wait the project to be migrated to JS.

P.S. The project manager and client asked me if I do know how to migrate the project from native PHP to JS framework and sabotaged lead dev. OFCOURSE, YES! But, I did not respond that quickly, unless eerm, you know, I earn greater than lead dev. Truth be told and practically speaking, it's really unfair for me if I accept the back-job when the lead dev delivers inaccurate deliverables and earned greater than me. No way, Jose!

Now, I am not working with him because I'm super done with him and later did I know, lead dev is looking for Drupal dev to be working for the booking project.

Reply all to a Bcc ed mail. 👌

Oh my! This guy is such a dickhead! We have a release tomorrow and he just changed everything a coworker did in the past few weeks because it had some errors and looked not polished enough.

Now it looks quite nice.

*sigh* Sometimes I can be such an asshat.

What a fucking retarded dickhead the laravel creator is, after having multiple hours/days of checking and asking people, we figured out, that apparently you cant mix variablenames in lumen afterall (like the docs are saying), so either you stick with the same variablenames you have in your route, make them all something different or you get fucked by random variables taking dominance and replacing the order completely. You'd think one can just make a PR to the docs on github and submit as much information as possible and it'll be fixed, right? no, you cant, that fucking blown balloony retard just closes it immediately with the notice of "I believe this is already noted in docs" - although it isn't thats the whole point you fucking blow up doll, how the fuck are people supposed to know your piece of shit will fuck the order completely, just because of one thing that isn't mentioned anywhere!

When the client wants to go live with his website and there are big gaps in content. I have told them every Monday for the past 3 weeks that there are big holes in content and they need to go on the Cms and start populating. Nothing happens and he keeps on asking when can we go live. Fuck fuck fuck them all.

When it’s Friday afternoon and you don’t want to work anymore after a loooong week in your web agency...

Caption : your communication is dickhead ? We have a team of cocks !

So, I've posted a question on StackOverflow. I was curious about better (in terms of performance and cleaner code) ways to solve a problem. And a fckn dickhead added a comment like this: Why worry about performance?

They’re making us use netbeans for class. Like I have a whole lab on learning how to use it. I’m not going to class, I finished the lab in 2 minutes. This one particular class is so dumb, we’ve had labs on ms word, PowerPoint, excel... they could have just done an optional workshop for people who don’t know how to use them. Waste of 2 hours every Thursday. And the teachers a dickhead

Just read a feature request which asked for full-app localization. The dickhead closed the request with the comment: 'since this is a small request it should probably be added to the top of the wishlist, besides you are a dutch company anyway'.

The nerve on some people

Man I fucking love debugging Windows applications... OpenVPN dun shit the bed because the management interface is locked (on the Windows client I presume?) - so poke that error message into the Gargler along with "openvpn windows"... First result, OpenVPN forums. Excellent. ... Some dickhead in the forums: "this is the wrong forum, this is for Access-Server users, and you the user MUST have terminated the process".

Come fucking on! If only I could replace this fucking device with a proper OS already (and no I can't). Windows itself being a clusterfuck is one thing but the goddamn support around it. Atrocious!

I feel like a total dickhead, might fuck around and implement some data structures and algos in c++ later idk.

At my institution there is a sys admin that belongs to an entirely different department. They have their own systems on their own network, separated from ours. I do not care, nor do I mind at all, but this is the second time I've had to put their admin in his place.

The first instance was when we had a security firm gauge our systems for vulnerabilities etc. The one that they have was fine, but required some additional configurations on their Tomcat servers. The "sys-admin" contacted I.T (my department) in order to request assistance, the net manager was the one he contacted, and he told the dude that he is not familiar with the Tomcat environment that they have, but that I, the dev manager, would possibly give him some pointers. The net manager is my friend, and he knows how much of a dickhead I am, so he was careful in what he told him. So the dude calls me:
"Hey, I need some items fixed on my Tomcat servers, they told me you have to do it"
Me: "Who? those are your servers"
Him: "The net manager said that you would do it"
Me: "I am certain he didn't tell you that bud, no one here will take care of your servers, they are yours, I am not doing any configurations on your stuff, that is your job"
Him: "Can't you just do them?"
Me: "No, bye"

The little bitch escalated it to my department director, who told him exactly the same thing, the director did ask if I would be willing to assist, I told him no since even though his configurations were minimal, I was not going to put myself in the position to which that fucker's ineptitude would cause him to point fingers at me, director backed me up and told the fucker to deal with his own shit.

This year it came to my attention that not only do they have their owns servers, but their own SSO system. This moron contacted me, tagging VPS and such in the email to tell me that I had to configure his SSO because "they told me you had to do it". The same shit happened, but this time I put him on blast during a meeting and told him that as "sys admin" for his stuff it was his responsibility to deal with the SSO that they have, and to contact the vendor to ask for the specifications. In front of EVERYONE he asked me if I could do it for him, I fucking looooooooled and told him that he just admitted to not being able to do his job (for which he is paid handsomely) in front of the entire room of VPS. One VP asked me why I was not willing to help him, and I told the VP that it would be the equivalent of me taking his vehicle for services, it is not my vehicle, thus not my responsibility. The VP agreed and told the fucker to get on with it and do what I said: contact his vendor channels to figure it out himself since it was indeed his position.
Yet again he said that he didn't know about SSO configs and that he was "told that I would do it", everyone asked who the fuck told him that and he said that the vendor, they asked again how it was and he showed the message from the vendor telling him: "Have your SSO admin perform the following <bla bla bla bla>" they asked him who was the manager for the SSO that they had. He said that it was him. Then they asked him what logic made him believe that it should be me, he stated again "they told me it was him".

I could hear everyone's brains shortcircuiting as no one could believe someone would be this fucking dense.

I don't think he will continue to have his job for much longer. I understand not knowing something, and I would have been happy to give pointers since I do administer systems of that level, but I can't with the whole made up "they said he would do it"

Bitch who said that? just say that you want me to do it because you can't, I mean, I am still not fucking doing it, but damn. Fucking morons man.

How d'yall live without a boss who is an incredibly experienced developer?!

To those who have a corporate dickhead as a boss, you all have my sympathy

Thanks previous-dev, you don't comment much, but when you do, it really saves my day.

// [START configure_firebase]
[FIRApp configure];
// [END configure_firebase]

15h/day for at least one month.

Manager to someone: How long do you think it will take you to build this?

Someone: Erm... 6 months.

Manager: Fine, I'm pretty sure you can do it in 3 months.

I was invited/forced to join someone's team because he could not do it in 3 months. Neither did we, but we managed to deliver the project in 4 months.

The dickhead manager got a promotion, money prizes etc for burning us out. I can't stand this kind of managers.

Neither I or someone work for that guy anymore.

If a Dev tells you it would deliver something in X believe him, he's telling you the best he can.

Not weird but f*cking annoying co-worker. Everything that sets people off he did. Also he never learn stuff like personal hygiene and stuff. One time my boss had to tell him to go home and not return to work until he took a shower. Also had didn't seem to have any work ethic at all and that got me fuming angry at him as he refused to do any work at all. When I was working in his apartment and got stuff to do he normally did and had way more experience in than me his coworkers were astounished how "fast" I worked when in realitiy I was taking it really easy. And this dickhead managed to make his stuff and then use the other time to play games ore whatever. In the end no one in the IT apartment wanted him to work there anymore. And he even managed to offend and insult our boss so much that he had to call him Mr. instead of his name. My co-workers even collected money for him to come to work looking like a human being and taking care of himself. I'm so glad I am no longer required to talk to or even work with this moron ever again

FUCK reddit

Seriously fuck reddit. I just wanted to post a fucking Question but noooo you must have Karma to post it. Your account has to be old af. Which dickhead designed the god damn karma system???? I'll never try to use that fuckin platform again, the user experience is horrible and their official app is absolute trash. It's slow and buggy, even a fucking 12 year old can code a better client.

Argghhhh I am angry

Vocabulary for the day.

Screed - An abusive rant is called a Screed.

Usage - I'mma screed the shit outta dem pathetic species of blood sucking parasites AKA dickhead project managers who do dem (developerEstimatedTime/2) quick maths.

Fuck you

Only recently did I learn about the Block User feature in devRant, and now I find myself using it properly. @irene man, why've you always got to play dickhead devil's advocate? At least 1/2 of opinion-related rants get a totally unnecessary comments flame war because of him.

What the Fuck!!!!!
Within next 3 days my Release date was set. I was to join a new company. My current fucking manager screwed things by postponing my release date because the new replacement they hired had not totally understood the project. Well, who the fuck told you to hire literally few days away from my release. My manager expects that the new resource learn everything I know. Fuck off man, I cannot spoon feed a person on everything.

Idk but i think i have the inability to ask a question on stackoverflow. Whenever i come across a specific problem my first instinct isn't to ask stack. It's to research, research and research. Then i go ahead to ask to those iknowsomuch pricks.
Do i enjoy it? No, i do it because i fucking need to.
So, stop shoving the fucking rules or policies or whatever the fuck it is on my face and answer the damn question if you know it. If not, fuck off. I hate it when they mark it as duplicate. Like are you actually serious. I've gone through the whole fucking internet including stack, searched the damn problem in different keywords, tried all the solutions for the related questions and problems and that's what you come up with. Label it as a duplicate or not descriptive enough. Oh just seriously fuck off with your "oh i have some admin capabilities let me use it on random shit". These are the people where they have no authority on anyone or led anyone or any team in their shitty lives yet act like a dickhead when someone in need of help comes to them. Oh you piece of shit, just fuck off. You miserable cunt.

Just spent hours trying find why my game was so janky looking in movement only to realise I dropped the max frame rate to 30 instead of its max 240... Well done Alex!

My last rant did not go down well 😂

I need to clarify.

If you have no communication directly to another dev.... And your creation directly impacts theirs .... And you don't tell the middle man ... You are a twat especially if your aware of the launch that's basically right now !

To be clear.... This guy built their site and database everything .

I had to connect part of their new app to the site... A few pages they wanted in the app.

He changed the links ... On purpose I think to screw over the launch of the app to make me look bad

I can not communicate with him... The CEO hates him and won't talk to him either

So what am I to do?

Not be pissed off about a spiteful dickhead?

Of course I'm pissed

To make people understand you don't send out a lethal update that can fuck up the servers without telling no one... That their might be technical issues

I once had to implement a program to process CSV files. One line would be one order, so I wrote a class with a static factory method (Java) instead of an ordinary constructor, because I needed to throw exceptions if something with the line was wrong (which now and then was the case: invalid product IDs, missing fields and the like). After I committed my changes (CVS was still common in those days), a coworker (let's call him Max) asked me what the hell I was doing there. He expected me to replace the code (perfectly working, by the way) with either an ordinary constructor or by implementing "the factory pattern properly". His rationale: "We don't have those kinds of things in our code base!" So I let him argue a bit, not finding any well substantiated reason for me to "fix" the code. So Max wanted to team up with another developer in our office (let's call him Rick), explained the "issue" to him. I just sat there and enjoyed, knowing that Rick would not really care. But as soon as Rick understood what I did, he walked over to the book shelf, picked "Effective Java" from it, opened the book at chapter 1 and said to Max: "Look, Josh Bloch suggests doing it exactly that way for the problem at hand!" Max kept on arguing for a while, because his "rationale" (see above) was not affected by the fact that the code was actually good. It just didn't appear in our code base before.

!dev

Hello there..

I always wanted to have my first post here be something that pisses the sh!t out of me.

tl;dr: Memes are for braindeads and kids are fucktards

Backstory:
So basicaly I am now having a summerjob before my next semester starts so I can make some cash to buy some overpriced stuff I dont probably need. I work at a factory, 3 shift work and today we had Night shift, so there was me and a bunch of Arab guys, kicking our asses by pure boredom and desperacy.

Act One:
I was bored, opened my phone and decided entertain myself by some funny sh!t I can find on Mark Sugarhills webpage. I was just passing by some random a bit funny stuff and then I found some random ass meme, which doesnt give a single, even distant sence to me.. So since my german is as good as my coding skills (read: complete shit) I couldnt ask for opinion of my fellow coworkers and since its fuck1ng 4am theres noone to ask on messenger or whatever. So I did it... I asked in a goddamn comments, what the fck is that supposed to mean and Aw dear Lawd... I did a mistake.

Act 2:
Like 4 seconds after my question I had a response and I was like 0.o It has to be some Alice of Facebook so I guess someone cool. Oh boy I was never so wrong. The answer... the... FUCKING answer was.... "normie."

What the actual fuck?
Like man statisticaly speaking, there is 200,000 people on this wannabe funny site and since everyone is apparently laughing their asses off, I am the motherfucking original snowflake.

But I wanted to play it cool... was like Uhm sorry, I really tried but cant figure it out.

His fuck-me-sideways-with-rusty-crowbar answer was:
a) The joke is hidden in some random thing we created yesterday and decided to call it a culture
b) "u dumb"

Act 3:
I hope that most of you finally guessed it! Its the second fucking answer and oh sweet mother of pain, please find him, BUT thats where I flipped and fucking lost it.

The fucking nerve to speak to me like that u dissrespectful piece of shit. Go watch some Twitch, while I SSH into ur ass and hit u harder than ur mom her forehead everynight when she realises that she could have swallow you dickhead.

Afterthoughts:
I was always worries that my child would like to be a Rapper, or Youtuber...
But today Im adding being some dumb ass meme creator.

This is more of an essay than a rant. TLDR at the end. I simply can't choose from all the shitty lecturers I've had, so I'm going to have to go through them one by one. But of background. I'm currently in 7th year of college, I did a multimedia degree in 2 years, a intro course to Software Dev and I'm currently in my final year of my Software Dev degree. So let's start.

Intro Software Course
- we had a database module, which was thought by, I shit you not, the head of the psychology course in the college, she attempted to teach us Databases using access. And not even using SQL, using access GUI components and it's query builder. Need I say more?

1st year software dev
- We had a networking module, the guy that taught the labs, he literally didn't say more than 12 words the entire 12 week semester, his answer to any question you asked him was a grunt and "research it"

- We had a psychology module, I have no fucking idea why, but instead of learning something useful we were told to read this and get in touch with your feelings...

- database module. Yes we actually did SQL here, 12 weeks of select statements and normal form, talked about by a guy in a monotone voice, who sounded like he was contemplating bringing in an assault riffle some day. Also instead of using MySQL he decided to use Ingres. Why I will never know.

2nd Year Software Dev
- We had a module called Algorithms and Data Structures. The lecturer gave us problems she couldn't solve. Simple problems. She was also crazy. Absolutely nuts.

- Object Orientated Programming. I had this lecturer for 3 semesters up until 3rd year. This guy did COBOLT in college, graduated in the 70s or something and went straight into teaching, he taught us Java for nearly 2 years. He literally copied and pasted texts from PDFs and read through them in class. He told myself and another guy at one stage he really didn't care, and was just counting down the days to his retirement.

- Databases again, different lecturer from 1st year, taught us for 2 semesters (24 weeks) and somehow managed to teach us nothing.

3rd Year Software Dev
- software engineering.. This is where the biggest cunt I've ever met was introduced. He arrives into class 15 minutes late every time without fail, talks shit about stuff that has no relevancy to the topic at all, tries to turn everything into a rugby metaphor and every time you ask a question he somehow dodges it and swiftly changes topic. This cunts past profession? A Project Manager. Fucking typical. This dickhead has also thought me 2 other modules.

4th yr Software Dev
- El cunto mentioned above for 2 more modules. Need I say more.
- real time systems, this module took the piss, the module was written by the lecturer which is what earns his space here. Assignments given to us, which required more time to do than we had in labs so we had to work at home, the problem we that is we were using an obscure RTOS called OS9 which would only work on the college computers. When brought to the lecturers attention he just said "figure it out"

Internet of Things - There was 2 lecturers, each lecturer seemingly working off a different plan, one week you'd have one lecturer, the next would be the other one going on about something completely different and unrelated to anything else we'd done.

Some lecturers didn't even make this list as I couldn't be bothered trying to think back about how shit other ones were. These were the ones that always stood out in my mind.

My main take away point from this is that you go to college for the paper which says you have a degree. Learning things that are going to benefit you in a career is up to yourself.

TLDR; 90% of my college lectures were shit. You need to learn useful stuff yourself.

//long rant ahead!

I need to plan a Wiki with SharePoint for not connected Sites.
Im now in dispute with my CoWorker since 3 Months, this is how the conversation goes. My two bosses are involved in this and also unhappy about SharePoint.

[C refers to CoWorker, M for me]
C: Hey, we finished SharePoint with Selfservice Storage Rooms. They even have a Wiki.

M: Okay cool, will check it out

C: Well we need to also plan the Wiki inside, I already asked our Department Head and he agreed, that you will be the one.

M: Okkkkaaayy, normaly it's your job to do such things, but welp, I will look into it, if we can work with it.

(2 Weeks pass)
M: I checked SharePoint out and tested everything. The Wiki is a Nogo, we need a other solution or programm for ourself a Wiki Integration/Engine. Did you maybe check out Confluence? It has also a SharePoint integration plugin.

C: We wont do Confluence, too expensive (already overspent the budget for SharePoint in six digits 🤬). Also we wont add to SharePoint Custom Code, it needs to stay standard.

M: Thats impossible, SharePoint Wiki is shit and also handels sites just like documents, no brain behind! Also you overspent the Budget and now it's my Problem?!

C: You need to do the best out of it.

(3 weeks passes and we get a meeting with the department heads)

M: Alright I made a UseCase and documented where the essential flaws are in SharePoint Wiki and why we cant use it.

Boss: Ok if it's impossible to use, then we will stay on our Fileserver for Documents and wont use SharePoint.

M: Thats not my Point, my statement is, as status today, SharePoint Wiki is not the right solution, code or buy software to it.

Boss: We will do a Prove of Concept, if it doesnt work then we will aboard it.

M: Well it is only some missing essentials, like hierarchy and Groups for the Pages, Example Confluence has this. If we could built in this features in SharePoint, everything would work out.

C: (angry) I told you that we wont use Confluence!

M: (calm) I said we need Features, not Confluence. Please mind the consent.

(3 weeks passes, and one more meating with bosses)

M: alright here again is a analyses, why already in Theory the current SharePoint Wiki wont work. It's already flawed in the core.

Boss: Yea SharePoint is crap, I checked out confluence and thats a real Wiki.

C: Well I dont know anything about Confluence and never looked at it. But if SharePoint is a fail we need the Proof of Concept.

M: Why do we need to do a Proof of Concept, when it already doesnt work in Theory! Thats nonsence and unlogical.

Next meeting will be in 4 weeks and I will give him the FUCKING PROOF OF CONCEPT. I will be a Bastard and build behind CoWorkers back a Confluence Wiki to show the Departmentheads how to built it right.

I hate CoWorker now, he makes a part of my loved Job a hell, I will goddamn cuk Coworker to space, that fucking Cukatron of lazyness and shit 🤬. I provide the Solutions and you just say no, how dafuq will the project advance, if you always say NO! Are you so unflexible and fixed on your Castle of Ignorancy!

I can't name just the one annoying coworker, because I've never had this one person I really, really couldn't stand being around. But there are plenty of coworkers that have crossed my path over the years with features that have slowly driven me towards madness.

Like the team leader with psychopathic traits and a brown nose stomping downwards and pleasing upwards.

Like the one fellow who set variable values multiple times to really, really be certain it was set.

Like the girl who sat next to me every now and then, and always started humming and singing only when she sat next to me. Always just loud enough for me to hear.

The dickhead coworkers that has been bullying me, excluding me, neglecting me over the years.

The managers who apparently never learned managing nor people skills.

Every jackass that thought it was a good idea to come stand next to me so they could have a nice conversation on the phone without being disturbed. Well, you disturbed me!

The manager who was whistling and singing so loud from his office that I had to get a Bose QuietComfort headset to get him out of my head.

Every fucking one contributing to the dinosaurism haunting the office.

So I'm having this return to the 70s mood. Not for the 70s themselves but for the pack of tech in everyday life.

Like besides email or worldwide message exchange and wikipedia, what have been the last true innovations?

Media streaming just killed and monopolized other industries. Sure, everything is cheaper, but let's be honest, how much music do we consume? Pretty sure like 80% of people listen to the same 100 songs in their whole lifetime. Do we need limitless streaming? Did it help us somehow beyond giving some dopamine shots?

Social media are and have always been crap for posers, advertising and bots. Small communities make sense, when properly taken care of. The actual issue with social media is the replacement of the so called "Third place". The place you go after work that is not your home. We don't know each other anymore, loneliness is apparently becoming pandemic and people are struggling with this. How is this innovative? For the real time news that are making people freak out?

And then, as I ranted before, AI. It's just... Statistics. Well applied statistics. Is it an actual innovation? No. Serves nothing beyond taking someone's job.
And before some retarded dickhead starts no, it will never create the same amount of jobs as a factory would've done 100 years ago, and prompt engineering is a lie told by the very guys who SELL those products to convince you that their crap is harmless.

Maybe it's about time to hit the brakes for a second and think if the simpler things (NOT the times!) were better, if maybe if we're getting lonely is actually our fault, it's our fault for not calling that old friend for a drink, it's our fault if we keep getting some dopamine shot every minute and are barely able to look people in the eyes, it's our fault for not behaving like human beings?

I hope any engineer will understand how this rant is about consumer-oriented tech and not tech in general.

Dear owner of websitex.com,
How do you expect your website to perform and increase sales with so many 404s, no meta titles and descriptions etc... (blah, blah, blah for a page)

Me: very glad to hear that, I took it down, deleted the files and let the domain name lapse 2 years ago... XXX

Just spent 30 minutes trying to work out how to do my dev terminals rendering in it's main for loop...

Only now just realised I should probably use 2 seperate for loops and rendering layers for the background and text... Well done dickhead

I get the feeling, there are 2 devs in the Golang team, that were like
"Every idiot knows that Acronyms should be all caps."
"Da fuck?! Wanna know what should be all caps?!
The sign on your mom's brothel, dickhead!"

And so they both tried to establish their style as a convention in the stdlib, and that's why half the the Acronyms are written in all-caps and the other half isn't.

I’m done with people who claim they don’t have time to do something.
Constantly hearing people complain they don’t have time to do things, oh fuck off you cunt. You work a nine to five, you get home at half five and you sit at home doing fuck all while you complain that things aren’t going your way.
Doesn’t even have to be about developing, lost count with the amount of people who claim they don’t have time to go the gym. Dickhead, you have a 24 hour gym three minutes away from your house. You could go after work, instead you’ll sit on your ass, eat a load shit and then complain you’ve put on weight.

If you’re doing fuck all to make things happen then you lose the right to complain about your circumstances. Stop blaming other people for your fuck ups because you ‘don’t have time’ to get shit done you absolutely holocaust of a human being.
While I’m at, fuck people who think it’s my soul mission in life to fix their shit, believe it or not I don’t give two flying fucks about your circumstances if you’re doing fuck all to help yourself.
Do me a favour and kindly drink some bleach.

How do you deal with coworkers trying to take over areas of your work?
Especially if they are very arrogant or entitled about it?

Cant talk to the boss, boss doesnt care about the issue. Has repeatedly lead to drama in the past with this guy. He likes to point at his chest while legit screaming "I'm the expert! This job belongs to me. Its mine because I was here first."

Even though the job was given to me.

And worse when I push against this nonsense my boss tells me to stop creating drama.

Like wtf. You gave me a job to do, and this asshole is horning in on my work and taking credit.

I got put on backend office work (because I cant afford to take even a day) while I recover and dont know how to deal with this dickhead.