After countless hours trying to spell my name for customer service over the phone, I made a little webpage that helps me spell words phonetically! 💬

https://dialogue.now.sh

I think I've been inspired...

Look! Buzzword wall!

Testing in production doesn't hurt.

IT
FUCKING
KILLS

Just ask Boeing.

Me: Lets build and test my app!
Compiler: WTF is "onLick" ???

*cries in corner*

Client: I know other developers who would do the same and much more for much less.

Me: I am glad you chose to work with me instead.

Client: I mean I like the site but I still feel that the development process has taken longer than it should have.

Me: Well, it is within the time frame I had said I would be able to have the first version of the site running. I have also implemented quite a number of new features that we had not earlier agreed on.

Client: I think I'll pay (quotes less than 20% of the total cost ).

Me: That is less than the amount that you were to pay as the first instalment ages ago!!

Client: I mean I like the site, but I think it still lacks the X factor. I want ...*goes on to mention other features*

Me: While I take pride in making my clients happy, I believe this process should be mutually beneficial. You are constantly making requests for new features but are making no attempts to meet your end of the agreement.

Client: FYI, there are people begging me for this job.

Me: *Takes down the site.* I wish you all the best, I hope the other developers are up to your standards.

Client: *Literally ignoring the fact that I just quit*. I want (makes more requests).

I am simply going to ignore this one!!!!

True story.

I use arch.
This is on my thinkpad r500 that I got for $7 or so.

Wow, didn't think about it like that 😂

now we know

First tatto things 😂

True story 😂

lol what? My company offers $5k for referring full time employees... and $10k for referring female technologists.

As a female software engineer, makes me deeply uncomfortable.

hire me

Don't you hate it when this happens?

folder sizes...

Nobody:
My dad: hey how do i do {{thing}} with this trucks multimedia system? What? No i dont know the exact model or release date or software version, arent you a programmer? You should know this without ever even seeing the outside of the car.

Company wide ban on headphones at desks, because how can people be working if they're listening to music? Never felt so miserable in my life.

Fuck fuckitty fuck, with a side order of bollocks. May the senior management of this tight arsed tin pot cowboy outfit of a company all sleep soundly at their desks until Doomsday while the rest of us keep them in business. See, I'm not bitter...

8000 lines of angular js hell in a single file with no custom directives.

My friend (not in CS) said his computer was a bit slow.
I told him I'd fix that for 10, he agreed.

I increased the cursor speed.
He bought it.

when did this happen?

Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

devRant meetup in the Netherlands yesterday was awesome! Hereby a group picture we took.

Thanks for the amazing evening, people!

CSS, is that you ????

Not easy to spot

Client: I want to go to the moon!

Me: Sure thing! I will build you a rocket.

Client: But I want you to build me a car.

Me: A car can not take you to the moon.

Client: Build me a car.

Me: OK.

My bird fell asleep on the laptop while licking the shiny LENOVO logo.

I've just managed to add the ability to call functions to my compiler. Currently, the capabilities are rather limited but I am pleased with it.
It keeps the schematics of the source code well enough that it can handle
recursive calls.
:D
On the Image, you can see the program's output (left), the generated x86_64 assembly, and the source code of the compiled program (bottom).

I left for lunch early to drive five miles away to an abandoned parking lot so that I could cry about an email I received... this week has been fantastic.

THEY'RE ALL EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME BUT UNDER DIFFERENT ACCOUNTS ARE YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING WITH ME RN