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Website design philosophies:
Apple: "...and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and a really big picture there, and..."
Microsoft: "border-radius:0 !important;"
Google: "EVERYTHING MOVES!!! And most websites get material design. Most."
Amazon: "We're slowly moving away from 2009"
Wix: "How can we further increase load times?"
Literally any download site: "Click here! No, click here! Nononono!! Click here!!..."
Facebook: "We can't change anything because our main age demographic is around 55"
University websites: "That information isn't hard enough to find yet. Decrease the search accuracy and increase broken links."25 -
Friend: "What is devRant?"
Me: "A place where programmers tell jokes and complain."
Friend: "Why dont you just do that irl?"
Me: "Because we never test in production"16 -
*Working on personal project*
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
Don't get excited about another project
...DAMNIT20 -
*code doesn't work*
-Run three times, just to be sure
-Its NOT the code, must be the project. Full rebuild.
-Run a few more times after rebuild didn't fix it.
-Google the issue.
-Stackoverflow must be wrong. The code is JUST like their solution.
-Run a few more times, but with your lucky underpants
-Reboot. Must be an operating system thing.
-Tea break. Give the issue time and it will fix itself.
-Run a few more times. Still unfixed
-Contact customer support.
-Walmart said they can't help.
-Consider writing your own language without this OBVIOUS flaw
-Kickstarter for c++++
-Raise $50,000
-Start a family
-Contact customer support again
-Run a few more times
-Now banned from Walmart
-Oh shit, missing a semicolon27 -
Friend texted me some binary.
Decided to impress him and decode it by hand.
Spent 5 minutes decoding "I eat ass".6 -
Python: let me manage those packages for you.
Node: here's the whole post office. You're welcome.
c: Write the packages yourself.
Luarocks: What the fuck is a package15 -
Proud moment today when I actually made an hsv to rgb conversion algorithm by following a formula rather than copying code from stack overflow
28 -
According to the internet so far:
If you dislike Windows, you're a hater.
If you dislike Linux, you're wrong.
If you dislike iMac, well, yeah. That's okay.15 -
The story of the $500,000,000 error.
In 1996, an unmanned Ariane 5 model rocket was launched by the European Space Agency.
Onboard was software written to analyze the horizontal velocity of the spacecraft. A conversion between a 64-bit floating point value and a 16-bit signed integer within this software ultimately caused an overflow error just forty seconds after launch, leading to a catastrophic failure of the spacecraft.
That day, $7 billion of development met it's match: a data type conversion.14 -
git blame
git fired
git depression
git divorce
git homeless
git commit
git job
git house
git wife --better
exit12 -
The cool thing about side projects is you can do whatever you want.
The shitty thing is you never complete whatever you want.7 -
Compilation completed. Output file size: 15KB
*Adds a JSON library*
Compilation completed. Output file size: 1.4MB
SON OF A BITCH10 -
I came up with a single pass O(n) sort algorithm I call StalinSort. U iterate down the list of elements checking if they are in order. Any element which is out of order is eliminated. At the end u have a sorted list.
@mathew@mastodon.social10 -
CS Teacher: *provides shitty code written in (I kid you FUCKING NOT) Microsoft Word, sans font*
Me: *Submits beautiful, fully working and commented code*
Half a point off because I didnt write how many points the assignment was worth at the very top of the code.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU CUNT GOBBLER?! YOU JUST **HAD** TO TAKE THAT HALF A POINT OFF, DIDNT YOU? MAYBE YOU'RE INTIMIDATED BY THE FACT I DONT USE MICROSOFT WORD TO WRITE C++?? God, I hope you take a nail gun to the eye.17 -
Ever wanted cheat codes to devRant? Well, that's weird. But here you go, I guess.
Since the avatars do not use any external assets (Such as images), all avatars are generated. To be friendly to people who want to make third-party devRant clients (such as devRantron), avatars are generated server-side, so that the assets don't need to be distributed, and third-party programmers don't need to work out rendering avatars.
But this allows you to cheat a little.
The devRant avatars API works like this: you request a really long URL from the API, specifying the IDs of each cosmetic item the user has active, and it returns a PNG file. But you don't need an auth token to generate an avatar (which makes sense), so the avatar API is essentially a sandbox you can play around with if you have the time and patience.
You can write a really good avatar previewer with this knowledge, and see your avatar with a white tiger, even if you don't have the ++s
14 -
Algorithm: from the Greek "algos" (pain) and rhythmos (repetition), we derive the true meaning of this word: REPEATED PAIN.
:D5 -
My parents have never had a router faster than 10Mb/s. When our most recent one finally bit the dust, I urged them to buy a decent one, because everyone uses the internet now. LOOK AT THE SPEED WE'VE BEEN MISSING.
9 -
Me: I know so many languages, I don't need to learn c++ to follow along with this 3D OpenGl tutorial!
Narrator: Oh, but he did need to know c++ to follow along with the 3D OpenGl tutorial.4 -
You know you're in for a difficult time when the answer on stack overflow has a code area with a scrollbar.3
-
Historically, tattoo artists would operate free of charge on women's breasts. This was an attractive offer for both sides, and spawned the phrase "tit for tat", which now represents two sides of an argument offering items of equal value.
This is a fact I just made up, like "Java runs on 4 billion devices"9 -
Pi Project
It's pinging Google and measuring the response time every three seconds, then graphs the result on the LED SenseHat. It's graphing wifi stability.
13 -
dfox please put in a "support us" feature of some sort that lets us watch ads of our own free will. I hate using your resources while not working for it at all.46
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Do devs really fight or do we just mildly assert differing opinions then ignore each other for extended periods of time?3
-
SO GUESS WHAT
IF YOUR SHITTY WIFI CRAPS OUT DURING A VISUAL STUDIO UPDATE, VISUAL STUDIO FUCKING COMMITS SUICIDE
MICROSOFT CAN SUCK A BIG, VEINY COCK. IM SO DONE WITH THEIR SENSITIVE, CONVOLUTED, SLOW IDE.22 -
I just had the most intense nerdgasm of my life.
So I'm learning NodeJS (11/10, super fun, totally recommend) and I already had a chat script written up but it was only available to my LAN. Im hosting it using my Raspberry Pi Zero, which is surprisingly fast, and obviously sips power. Anyways, I FINALLY figure out port forwarding (Comcast made things harder, as per usual) and for the first time in my young life, I chatted with someone half way across the country... Using the hardware I set up, running the script I wote, on the network I configured.
I could have sworn I was drooling.
Today was a good fuckin day.20 -
That feeling when you run out of YouTube videos to watch and end up in some weird ass corner of the internet watching some dude scream "lemons!" at his fish for 12 minutes.13
-
There are two things about arrays that sometimes confuse me:
[0]: They start at zero
[1]: They end at one less than the length15 -
In a previous rant I said I was gonna flip some bits. I couldn't wait until the weekend. I flipped some fucking bits, right fuckin now.
18 -
I've always wanted to experiment with encryption but never do. This weekend, I'm fucking doing it. Even if I'm just flipping a few bits around, I'm fucking gonna flip those bits like they've never been flipped before and they are gonna FUCKING LIKE IT.4
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A story of love, loss, and devRant.
My favorite sunglasses were a victim of hurricane Irma. They were sitting on the park bench when a powerful gust of wind blew them onto the cement floor, where both lenses were fucked right where I look out of them. I bought these sunglasses at Disney with my family and have not stopped wearing them since. I was pretty upset.
Enter devRant. Sad and without sunglasses, I hoped that virtual ones might suffice. Lo and fucking behold, in the profile editor, there they were: my exact sunglasses, even with the choice between silver and gold. Absolutely fucking perfect. Made my day.
10 -
People on Stack Overflow are SUCH FUCKING ASSHOLES
"You didn't show us where you declared this unimportant array, please review this article for how to ask questions"
My question doesn't concern the array, my question concerns how the system works, all code I provided was only for clarity. Read my fucking question you arrogant asshole. You have lots of points, fine, go tell your mother, but you assume I don't know how to ask a question which you clearly did not read.7 -
The devRant community:
@dfox: Our lord and savior, a rockstar who gets his comments ++'d just for being dfox
@trogus: The designer who lives in the shadow of dfox, but is still beloved
@tisaconundrum: Has 1 ++ for every time someone has tried, and failed, to pronounce his username in their head. (It's a lot)
@letmecode: The most consistently angry rants
@calmyourtities: I see him a lot
@me: I get mentioned every time the google assistant makes the "algo-rhythm" joke
@linux, @linuxxx, and @linuxforfun are linux users.
Continue in the comments!63 -
If I keep ignoring issues they'll eventually overflow and I'll have a negative amount of bugs, right?4
-
Dabbling in 3D modeling, I noticed the top of one of these fireworks has polygons visible while the others are shaded smoothly. Good job, Clash of Clans...
12 -
Interesting thing I did yesterday:
This is a program which loops over every word in the wamerican word database and checks if the username is available on the Mojang servers, thus, this is a Minecraft OG username finder, and it works beautifully.
I'm checking 72,000 words, the only thing is I can only check one per second, so the entire process takes about 20 hours. Any usernames which are available are sent into a text file for later viewing, and it remembers which word it looked at last if you can't have your computer on for 20 hours straight.
Very happy! Found quite a few good names so far!
14 -
Websites got ads, so user got adblock, and thus, websites got adblockblock and users got adblockblockblock and websites got adblockblockblockblock and users got adblockblockblockblockblock and websites got ad blockblockblockblockblockblock and users got adblockblockblockblock blockblockblockblockblockblock and websites...20
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"Fuck JavaScript, its such a shitty language" seems to be quite a common rant today. It seems as if JS is actually getting more hate than PHP, which is certainly odd, considering the stereotype.
So, as someone who has spent a lot of time in JS and a lot of time elsewhere, here are my views. Please, discuss your opinions with me as well. I am genuinely interested in an intelligent conversation about this topic.
So here's my background: learned HTML/CSS/JS in that order when I was 12 because I liked computers. I was pretty shitty at JS until U was at least 15, but you get the point, Ive had it sploshing about in my brain for a while.
Now, JS certainly has its quirks, no doubt, but theres nothing about the language itself that I would say makes it shitty. Its a very easy leanguage to use, but isn't overdeveloped like VB.net (Or, as I like to call it, TheresAFunctionForThat)
Most of the hate is centered around JS being used for a very broad range of systems. I doubt JS would be in the rant feed so often if it were to stay in its native ecosystem of web browsers. JS can be used in server backend, web frontent, desktop and mobile applications, and even in some system services (Although this isn't very popular as of yet). People seem to be terrified that one very easy to learn language can go so far. And, oh god, its interpreted... How can a system app run off an interpreted language? That's absurd.
My opinion on JSEverything is that it's progress. Thats what we're all about, right? The technologies already in place are unthreatened by JS, it isn't a gamechanger. The only thing JS integration is doing is making tedius and simple tasks easier. Big companies with large systems aren't going to jump ship and migrate to JS. A startup, however, could save a fucking ton of development time by using a JS framework, however. I want to live in a world where startups can become the next Google, because technology will stagnate when youre trying to protect your fortune, (Look at Apple for fucks sake) but innovation is born of small people with big ideas.
I have a feeling the hate for JS is coming from fear of abandoning what you're already doing. You don't have to do that. JS is only another option (And a very good one, which is why it's becoming so popular).
As for my personal opinion from my experiences... I've left this part til the end on purpose. I love programming and learning and creating, so I've never hated a lamguage, really. It all depends on what I want to do. In the times i've played arpund with JS, I've loved it. Very very easy. The idea of having it on both ends of web development makes a lot of sense too, no conversion, just direct communication. I would imagine this really helps with speed, as well. I wouldn't use it in a complicated system, though. Small things, medium size projects: perfect. Running a bank? No.
So what do you think about this JSUniverse?8 -
C is a child's programming language
JavaScript is a boy's programming language
Scratch is a man's programming language17 -
I spent three hours coding some algorithm and then looked it up on Stack Overflow out of curiosity. Big surprise. Someone did the exact same thing but more effeciently, and had all the code in his answer on SO.
Ughhhhhhhh 😓4 -
Actual pro tip: don't push only when you are done with code. Always push when you are done with coding session. Minimize the possibility of data loss and always have your code on the server.8
-
We should totally be able to use try/ catch irl, especially in social situations
try{
riskyText();
} catch (InappropriateTextError e) {
abort();
}6 -
Brought two laptops: Linux and windows
Forgot charger for windows.
Graphics not working properly in linux
Three hours of package installation, documentation diving, package removal, driver fuckery and other assorted fun
I can now play Minecraft.6 -
This semester, I had to pay a considerable amount of money to access the online homework for a class.
College is literally pay-to-win.8 -
Seeing someone prototype a 3D game with complex lighting using OpenGL in a 15 minute video (It was sped up about 4x but, still, fuck me)
Using c. Not c++.
He also did 3D graphics in BASIC from scratch to explain how they work, generally.16 -
I didnt make my root partition big enough fuuuuuuuuck
Stupid fucking tutorial said "10GB should be enough!"
Should have listened to myself. Fuck me.19 -
I had to open the desktop app to write this because I could never write a rant this long on the app.
This will be a well-informed rebuttal to the "arrays start at 1 in Lua" complaint. If you have ever said or thought that, I guarantee you will learn a lot from this rant and probably enjoy it quite a bit as well.
Just a tiny bit of background information on me: I have a very intimate understanding of Lua and its c API. I have used this language for years and love it dearly.
[START RANT]
"arrays start at 1 in Lua" is factually incorrect because Lua does not have arrays. From their documentation, section 11.1 ("Arrays"), "We implement arrays in Lua simply by indexing tables with integers."
From chapter 2 of the Lua docs, we know there are only 8 types of data in Lua: nil, boolean, number, string, userdata, function, thread, and table
The only unfamiliar thing here might be userdata. "A userdatum offers a raw memory area with no predefined operations in Lua" (section 26.1). Essentially, it's for the API to interact with Lua scripts. The point is, this isn't a fancy term for array.
The misinformation comes from the table type. Let's first explore, at a low level, what an array is. An array, in programming, is a collection of data items all in a line in memory (The OS may not actually put them in a line, but they act as if they are). In most syntaxes, you access an array element similar to:
array[index]
Let's look at c, so we have some solid reference. "array" would be the name of the array, but what it really does is keep track of the starting location in memory of the array. Memory in computers acts like a number. In a very basic sense, the first sector of your RAM is memory location (referred to as an address) 0. "array" would be, for example, address 543745. This is where your data starts. Arrays can only be made up of one type, this is so that each element in that array is EXACTLY the same size. So, this is how indexing an array works. If you know where your array starts, and you know how large each element is, you can find the 6th element by starting at the start of they array and adding 6 times the size of the data in that array.
Tables are incredibly different. The elements of a table are NOT in a line in memory; they're all over the place depending on when you created them (and a lot of other things). Therefore, an array-style index is useless, because you cannot apply the above formula. In the case of a table, you need to perform a lookup: search through all of the elements in the table to find the right one. In Lua, you can do:
a = {1, 5, 9};
a["hello_world"] = "whatever";
a is a table with the length of 4 (the 4th element is "hello_world" with value "whatever"), but a[4] is nil because even though there are 4 items in the table, it looks for something "named" 4, not the 4th element of the table.
This is the difference between indexing and lookups. But you may say,
"Algo! If I do this:
a = {"first", "second", "third"};
print(a[1]);
...then "first" appears in my console!"
Yes, that's correct, in terms of computer science. Lua, because it is a nice language, makes keys in tables optional by automatically giving them an integer value key. This starts at 1. Why? Lets look at that formula for arrays again:
Given array "arr", size of data type "sz", and index "i", find the desired element ("el"):
el = arr + (sz * i)
This NEEDS to start at 0 and not 1 because otherwise, "sz" would always be added to the start address of the array and the first element would ALWAYS be skipped. But in tables, this is not the case, because tables do not have a defined data type size, and this formula is never used. This is why actual arrays are incredibly performant no matter the size, and the larger a table gets, the slower it is.
That felt good to get off my chest. Yes, Lua could start the auto-key at 0, but that might confuse people into thinking tables are arrays... well, I guess there's no avoiding that either way.15 -
Me: *Has 3 difficult exams to study for and hours of work*
Also me: I should try my hand at encryption in Python.7 -
After a long time in .NET and JavaScript, I have returned to Java today. I was quite happy about it for a few minutes!3
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I always use brackets for clarity even if there is only one statement inside them
if (boolean){
function ();
}
Cus it's so much easier to read, and if I need to add statements after the if I don't need to remember to add brackets. Plus the else may need brackets and an if with no brackets but an else with brackets looks awful.14 -
I have a co-worker that always uses "I'm too old" as an excuse.
You're 33. You're just a lazy piece of shit that doesn't take care of his body.
Fuck you, do work.7 -
You know your codebase is large when you expand your project tree and it's larger than a literal tree.4
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Boils my fucking blood.
How many billions of dollars is Microsoft worth again? And they still make me update my fucking updater?
Why is there even a separate program for updating??
20 -
Not sure if it was the missing spaces in the title, the text lingo and bad grammar in the description, or the clickbait-style graphic but I AM SOLD.
5 -
My apparently my friend's wife gets suspicious whenever his Snapchat goes off after 10pm, always wants to know who it is.
"It's [algo], it's always him sending me pics of his code late at night. That's is the only person that Snapchat me this late"
And it's true.6 -
This one hits home a bit.
So my friend from my first college hits me up, asks about what's going on and shit. It's all chill, we took a bunch of programming classes together, so it we weren't intimate friends just kinda familiar with each other. He says he's having trouble finding work, they all turn him down due to a lack of experience. I suggest we work on a project together. Anything. He thinks it's a good idea and we plan to meet up.
We meet up, long story short decided on an Android app. I failed setting up git but whatever, I'll fix it at home. He seems excited, I'm excited...
...Never heard back from him again. Won't answer texts, Skype, anything.10 -
HURRICANE INSPIRED PI PROJECT!
So in anticipation of hurricane Irma I built this little thing which measures barometric pressure using my raspberry pi's sense hat! It also adds the data to a graph. Very fun!
9 -
Like a bad relationship
Be really excited for the first month or so then once the new car smell starts to fade, lose interest and dump it.3 -
My first real "rant", okay...
So I decided today to hop back on the horse and open Android Studio for the first time in a couple months.
I decided I was going to make a random color generator. One of my favorite projects. Very excited.
Got all the layouts set up, and got a new color every tap with RGB and hex codes, too. Took more time to open Android Studio, really.
Excited with my speedy progress, I think "This'll be done in no time!". Text a friend and tell them what I'm up to. Shes very nice, wants the app. "As soon as I'm done". I expected that to be within the hour.
I want to be able to save the colors for future reference. Got the longClickListener set up just fine. Cute little toast pops up every time. Now I just need to save the color to a file.
Easy, just a semicolon-deliminated text file in my app's cache folder.
Three hours later, and my file still won't write any data. Friend has gone to sleep. Homework has gone undone. My hatred for Android is reborn.
Stay tuned, the adventure continues tomorrow...21 -
Scripting languages, markup languages, database querying languages, etc. Are all types of programming languages. A program is a set of instructions for a computer to follow.
HTML is a programming language, fight me.50 -
Me: Hey, Android, how do I do [abc]?
Android: Oh, that's actually quite easy! All you need is permissi..
Me: Oh, you know what, nevermind. I'd rather fuck an industrial fan.5 -
This spring I was working on a library for an algorithm class at uni with some friends and one of the algorithm was extremely slow, we were using Python to study graphs of roads on a map and a medium example took about 6-7h of commission to finish (I never actually waited for so long, so maybe more).
I got so pissed of for that code that I left the lab and went to eat. Once I got back I rewrote just the god-damned data structure we were using and the time got down to 300ms. Milliseconds!
Lessons learned:
- If you're pissed go take a walk and when you'll come back it will be much easier;
- Don't generalize to much a library, the data structure I write before was optimized for a different kind of usage and complete garbage for that last one;
- Never fucking use frozen sets in Python unless you really need them, they're so fricking slow!3 -
This is my debugging pal.
He gobbles em all up.
No, really, he is. This isnt just for the practical humor. Hes actually my debug pet thing.
9 -
Okay, sublime text is amazing. Super fast and easy on the eyes. If I had $70 I would purchase a license.23
-
Got arch Linux working on my laptop.
Installed Budgie GNOME, Cairo dock, Termite, VS Code, Code::Blocks, Android Studio, IntelliJ....
It's so beautiful9 -
Juste design a new algorithm to evaluate the chance of a project (any kind of project) will exceed the budget (time of cost). This algorithm been proven to be right almost all the time.
1 -
Recently, Comcast limited my bandwidth to 1TB. I'd be upset, but my service is so slow I don't think I could use it all in just a month!7
-
40 hour work week with a physically demanding job, full time bachelor's student, and web dev on the side. I'm exhausted all the time. I find myself migrating to my bed. "I'll read this chapter in bed".
Next thing I know I've been passed out on my book for three hours. Panic. Repeat.2 -
Someone should write a really infectious virus for Linux to make all the fanboys shut the fuck up about security.11
-
Genuinely upset that I don't have wifi
Fuck Irma
Fuck this.
I can deal without a/c, not wifi.
Kill me.4 -
Confirmed, Walmart runs on Linux, and their promotional photo stream is in a folder called
/walmart/teaser
9 -
Each sticker on a race car increases speed by a small amount, which is why they all have so many. Same thing with laptops.4
-
Today, social media databases around the world will be forced to accept billions of shitty firework photos.1
-
So my hard drive as making a weird, cracky, crunchy, popping noise and I was super scared. DONT QUIT ON ME NOW.
And then I was super relieved to find out it was in fact my stomach.
Another few seconds go by and I realize I was just HAPPY to find out my laptop was fine, and it was ME that was unhealthy.2 -
Might sound weird but I pretend somebody is watching me through my own eyes. Somebody I want to impress, or make jealous, of my productivity and skill. Elaborate, but it works.3
-
Spent two days debugging my algo to figure it was a problem with the colors they picked and my logic was fucking flawless!
Sweetest feeling ever :D
I'm sort of color blind so I never check colors and I'm really straight about it with everyone: I don't pick colors.
Its a rant with a happy ending :)6 -
I just experienced the opposite of rant.
I spent 1 entire day ranting about a algorithm I couldn't write with no issues, it occupied all my mind and got me pissed of.
And today, I rewrote it entirely, and it works perfectly everywhere.
I was like : "No it can't work here. Oh ok", "And here's the bug ! No ? Nice.", "Don't tell me it'll work here. I'm a God".
That's why I love being a dev :D
Thank you, you freaking problem I had !7 -
Is there a bug in the way it's decided which posts are displayed? This is on algorithm mode. There are a lot more 250++ posts below here with a couole of 1++ posts in between. And almost all of them I've seen before and ++d them
23 -
Power-out inspired pi project!
Just a simple flashlight. Brightness and color can be controlled by the joystick. It runs off a phone battery pack
7 -
!rant
After reading the wiki page over and over, I was finally able to implement Dijkstra's algorithm 😃4 -
deadmau5 exclusive on tidal streaming.
Fuck, okay.
*Sign up*
>> enters email, password
>> redirect to different signup page
>> enters email, password
>> redirect to original signup page
>> ????
>> enters email, password
>> redirect to second signup page again
>> ????????????
>> try to login
>> enters email, password
>> nope
>> listen to preview of album
>> please enable flash
>> okay, fuck you, deadmau5.9 -
my Input: want from A -> B
The algorithm of my Public transport App result:
Walk from A to B, then take the tram from B to A. From there you walk to B.
Ooooookay.
3 -
Can anyone recommend good books for coding algorithms?
Any tips and tricks would also be helpful. Thanks.12 -
Considerable size storm. No internet for the past two hours or so. This is so inhumane. Clinging to the two songs I have fully buffered on YouTube.
Send love...7 -
A LOT of this article makes me fairly upset. (Second screenshot in comments). Sure, Java is difficult, especially as an introductory language, but fuck me, replace it with ANYTHING OTHER THAN JAVASCRIPT PLEASE. JavaScript is not a good language to learn from - it is cheaty and makes script kiddies, not programmers. Fuck, they went from a strong-typed, verbose language to a shit show where you can turn an integer into a function without so much as a peep from the interpreter.
And fUCK ME WHY NOT PYTHON?? It's a weak typed but dynamic language that FORCES good indentation and actually has ACCESS TO THE FILE SYSTEM instead of just the web APIs that don't let you do SHIT compared to what you SHOULD learn.
OH AND TO PUT THE ICING ON THE CAKE, the article was comparing hello worlds, and they did the whole Java thing right but used ALERT instead of CONSOLE.LOG for JavaScript??? Sure, you can communicate with the user that way too but if you're comparing the languages, write text to the console in both languages, don't write text to the console in Java and use the alert api in JavaScript.
Fuck you Stanford, I expected better you shitty cockmunchers.
29 -
I finally finished my implementation of a suffix array construction algorithm! 😄
It takes about 30 mins to process 1GB of text and uses all available RAM, but it works! 🎉
Now I can optimize it, the original algorithm is 3x faster.
11 -
For God sake tinder, fix your fucking algorithm.
Why are you showing my beautiful and out of my league girls. I don't want depression everytime I open tinder.
Please show me avarage looking girls.12 -
Algo algo1 = new Algo();
Algo algo2 = new Algo();
algo1.setOpacity(.5);
algo2.setOpacity(.5);
// The following image is ENTIRELY unedited:
11 -
"...we're using Java. That fat bitch doesn't just eat memory, she just deep-throated her sixth serving and is showing no signs of relenting"
-Me, 2k182 -
It really boosts my confidence that I understand roughly 95% of the rants here. I feel like my skills are very well diversified. What a great feeling.5
-
I don't know if you guys caught this but everyone's binary scores are negative. The first bit is 1.
Yay
8 -
The Luhn algorithm implemented in cobol to validate Swedish personal identification number.
What do you think?
9 -
Historically, in operating rooms, surgeons would discard biomedical waste in buckets. When a patient died on the operating table, the lead surgeon would get so upset that he would "kick the bucket", which is now a term for when someone dies.
That's a fake fact, just like "Java runs on 4 billion devices"2 -
Works as backend developer for 2 years now; Almost fails simple university algorithm course.
I'm contemplating my whole life and career choice right about now.2 -
When you don't want to explain what you've done with application's code base so you play the "algorithm" card.
Boss: tell me about the new release.
Me: updated the search algorithms boss.
Boss: cool. Release!
Me: 😎 -
Apparently color pair 0 is reserved in curses.
So modifying it will never work.
Even though that's not in the documentation.
I've wasted hours.
I finally changed the color pair to 1 and everything worked.
God.
Kill me now.2 -
I FREAKED OUT
I WAS A DIFFERENT PERSON FOR SOME REASON
Dfox thanks for the heart attack, I thought I got hacked.
7 -
Caught a nice pair with the algorithm today...
Here's hoping your mornings were all something a little more in-between!
1 -
My mind is crippled but I have always wanted to implement Dijkstra’s algorithm, in cobol. Solved by using adjacency matrix. What do you think?
8 -
Writing some algorithm:
me: *codes for half an hour*
"hmm... isn't working... wait wtf this isn't right..."
me: *codes for an hour again*
"still not working hmmm... wait what no this isn't supposed to work..."
me: *codes for a few hours*
"still not working God damnit.... it's supposed to work now..."
me after another few hours: MOTHERFUCKER CAN YOU START FCKING WORKING FUUUUUUUUUUU1 -
I FUCKING HATE THE INSTAGRAM ALGORITHM FOR SUGGESTED POSTS TO EXPLORE.
You piece of shit; I have NEVER EVER looked at pictures of nature, but I get a shit load of suggested pictures of nature. Can't forget the time they spammed it with memes in a random language I can't read.
OH. AND LETS NOT FORGET YOUR TIMELINE ALGO. IT'S JUST AS SHITTY.
"Hmm. Let him see a picture posted a few minutes ago or one from a week ago? Fuck it, a week ago it is!"7 -
We were going over man in the middle attacks today and I honestly just could not stop thinking about that SpongeBob episode where Squidward keeps intercepting the bubble messages between SpongeBob and Patrick and it was so dumb that I could not stop smiling.3
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My friend has a smart watch, and he is always watching the time. Texting. I meant to say texting. He's always texting at work. I have a traditional watch, so I like to make fun of him by very loudly saying "Hey Siri" into my watch a few times and acting confused when it doesn't work.2
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I have not researched it so I'm not sure if this is a widely known thing but I figured out a sort of hacky way to get a max integer value:
-Declare an unsigned int.
-Subtract 1
-Divide 2
That is your max signed int value
int main(){
unsigned int a = 0;
a--;
std::cout << a / 2 << std::endl;
}7 -
When you spend a couple of hours considering how to change your implementation of Dijkstra's algorithm to be directional only to realise it already was
Fuck!
Self.setIntelligence(-1)3 -
So during a test I was to write an algo of binary search tree traversal and I got a zero....Why? Cause I wrote a recursive algorithm and also because I wrote "English" instead of pseudocode, which she thought is called algorithm and on showing her the exact same recursive Algo on various websites and books, she just declared all of them wrong1
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I quite dislike the fact that Python is growing in popularity. It's a fun toy, but the syntax is so fucking annoying after a while. Forced indentation is certainly not my style. Furthermore, Python is generally not extremely performant, even as far as interpreted languages go.
I love python as a language but using it to work (Like... for money...?) seems very outlandish. It feels akin to scratch to me... very bizzare to think it is powering many complex AIs. Python is a toy.11 -
There's this little, self-loathing sigh I do every time my program locks up because I forgot to iterate inside a while loop
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Written coding test, first question :
Form the minimum spanning tree of the given graph using Kruskals algorithm.
Plot twist : No weights given. Assume unweighted graph4 -
Hmm, this gameboy emulator is pretty cool. I have been playing Pokemon Sapphire for about two hour-
Well shit now I gotta make Pokemon MMORPG, because my excitement said so. God damnit.
(Friend seemed very excited about the idea too. I love being able to make stuff for just me and my friends)5 -
A funny story I just remember while my code is compiling :
Back in high school, in Math, we were taught how algorithm works, and we made some exercises with practical examples.
I didn't know anything about it back then, so was curious. Was pretty fun, but one day, my teacher said that a IF is a loop. I said "no, this is a test" but she keeps saying that it was a loop, ignoring me (I dunno if she actually heard me) and no one actually noticed it as she repeated it several times (while I was saying that it's not). I just gave up trying to say it's wrong.8 -
Me trying to impress my girlfriend with the light painting.
Motivated me to develop my own algorithm for the effect.
4 -
One of my favorite things to do in Secondary School was to go around telling people I had written a program that uses the 'Doomsday Algorithm' which sounded really cool and always scared those who didn't understand it.
Truth is, the 'Doomsday Algorithm' is just an Algorithm that used to determine the Day of the Week of a given date.
I wrote this when I was 13/14 years old and I'm still super proud of it today.... well I mean I probably would be if I could read my own code.1 -
My 2018 goals:
1. Graduate from the Deep Learning Nanodegree.
2. Get better at Python.
3. Learn C++.
4. Learn more about Machine Learning and AI.6 -
Anyone played Human Resource Machine yet? It's fun to solve and optimize these algorithm puzzles after a hard work day.
Does anyone know other games like this?5 -
I think God is a developer. I have to say a most impressive feat, even for God, is the idiot algorithm. It has persisted through millennia of attempts to remove it, but it just keeps refining itself. While it's incredibly brief, its functions are yet to find an environment in which they cannot operate. It's full adaptable to any task, impressively modular, and self replicating.
No matter how what problem you present it with the idiot algorithm can always find a solution. It never leaves well enough alone. It can even give you an answer before everything is fully processed!4 -
This is more of a story than a rant, but it has some rant-ey elements, so whetever...
I work for a pretty big company. Several departments, teams, many different markets...so it's a big orchestration. The programming department (aprox. 5% of all employees) is the core of the whole company, because everybody else uses software we've written...(a bit off topic, the point is there are a lot of people)
So today, I got assigned with a side-project. The project spec arrives, and as I read through it, I start realizing that upper-management whats me to build an app to fire people instead for them. The app is supposed to track salary, connect with Trello (for departments that use it) to track finished tasks, track sick days, work attendence...a lot of stuff, and at the end, if the situation requires, spit out a person that is of least benefit to the company, to be fired...
Now from coding perspective, this will be very interesting and fun to build, but from a moral standpoint, I'm a bit woried...simply because, indirectly, I'm firing those people. Because, the way I tune the the app(specifically the algorithm that weighs the value of an employee to the company) will cause certain people to get fired...
So I'm woried I'm gonna have a small breakdown when the app goes live and I see someone saying goodbye to theie colegues of something similar...heck, the app might even spit out my name some day(I should probably add a tiny if statement somewhere in there :) )
What do you guys think about this, from a moral standpoint? Would you be okay with building something like this?
(Sorry for the long post :/ )8 -
The moment you beat seniors solving complex algorithm challenge....
Actually what I did was I split the challenge into smaller piece and posted the miniature on stackoverlfow. 2 minutes later I stood in front of everyone explaining my solution. -
Few days back, I developed an app for a client where users can buy textile designs online.
The designs to be uploaded on the server must be square to display correctly on the app. so I had to make them square manually (by either pattern repetition or by filling extra space).
I was like "fuck me!", 800 design image to make it square and each takes like 1 and half minute. I did uploaded 30 to 40 images and then...
I got really frustrated and I was lazy to make more designs square anymore.. So I developed an algorithm that would identify the type of design and then it automatically makes it square by self decision.
so that was my little anti-laziness for my big laziness. -
anybody ever work with ProjectQ or QISKit? I'm doing a project for my algorithms class on Shor's algorithm, and I'm trying to find a guide for an implementation.
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Teacher explained how genetic algorithm works by using us as a population. Best way to hear about GA for first time.2
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Whenever I had to pronounce Djikstra's Algorithm. My tongue be like - dijjuuksstrra... Fuck you I am commiting suicide between these teeth.9
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How to deduce the time complexity of any algorithm faster?
And is there any software that calculates it and suggest another optimal algorithm instead?2 -
Update to Doomsday !rant which can be found here: https://devrant.com/rants/1000628
Hey Everyone I'd like to let everyone know that I finally found the original file for my Doomsday Algorithm and thought it would be fun to show you the dirtiest code I've ever written (I was 12 when I wrote it).
here is the github link, https://github.com/LiamHolmesEPD/... , and I'll likely update it will more cleaner languages in the future.2 -
Trying to make my first genetic algorithm program "to be or not to be" in javascript.... (coming from java and experimenting a bit)
Can't even get past instantiating a function/class Gene.js file into the main.js file. -_-
I got a long way to go...2 -
I have experiences and I am able to show what I've done,including spare time projects that I do during non-working hours. But i were given a algorithm question in the interview, that just marked the end of my 2 years efforts. I want to shout to the interviewer next time please don't write lies on your description, state it clearly that someone have to answer algorithm questions to get the job, so that I won't bother to apply and attend to the interview. Thanks!2
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I got one task left... One algorithm to solve... That's the second day I'm on it... And I need to sleep so much... Fix yourself please, let me write random lines and please work...1
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with the while demonetize drama around youtube and google blaming the "algorithm", one would think that TESTING ON THE FUCKING PRODUCTION SERVER WAS A BAD IDEA 😡2
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I am a cs student at first class. Obviously we take an algorithm lesson. However, despite we have learned all things related to OOP , we didn't even learn switch case statement not even bubble sort algorithm or anything related to the algorithms. Because of that in my free time I learn this stuff individually. I know we will learn these things in the second class but it doesn't make sense to program anything without knowing them because you need to use them. You can use standard library but that doesn't mean you don't need to know how that works.
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The Devrant Algorithm not only reads everything and then sort by sarcasm but sees everything and then sort by sarcasm.
Even puts Google's cloud vision to shame.
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Anybody here implemented Dynamic Time Warping (DTW) algorithm? I need to implement it for a school project. Its basically an android application and want to authenticate users using this algorithm.
Will appreciate any help possible.2 -
3D Engines, and A* algorithm (aswell as pathfinding in usual), this is something I still can't get my head around and it is bothering me to the bone.
Not entirely sure if should be said an IT company but yes I would mention SHAREit.
The well known file sharin... [read more]