I feel like people don't understand what I mean when I say "I'm a console gamer"

Friend: "What is devRant?"
Me: "A place where programmers tell jokes and complain."
Friend: "Why dont you just do that irl?"
Me: "Because we never test in production"

"How does your live chat work?"

Algorithm strikes again! 😁

I don't care about money, girls, fancy cars, big houses, fame...

I want stars on my GitHub repo

When you've been only doing web dev for a while:

Long time, no c

Always wondered how Dijkstra came up with that algorithm!

Friend texted me some binary.

Decided to impress him and decode it by hand.

Spent 5 minutes decoding "I eat ass".

Staying up past 2am makes me make weird things

So a few days ago I felt pretty h*ckin professional.

I'm an intern and my job was to get the last 2003 server off the racks (It's a government job, so it's a wonder we only have one 2003 server left). The problem being that the service running on that server cannot just be placed on a new OS. It's some custom engineering document server that was built in 2003 on a 1995 tech stack and it had been abandoned for so long that it was apparently lost to time with no hope of recovery.

"Please redesign the system. Use a modern tech stack. Have at it, she's your project, do as you wish."

Music to my ears.

First challenge is getting the data off the old server. It's a 1995 .mdb file, so the most recent version of Access that would be able to open it is 2010.

Option two: There's an "export" button that literally just vomits all 16,644 records into a tab-delimited text file. Since this option didn't require scavenging up an old version of Access, I wrote a Python script to just read the export file.

And something like 30% of the records were invalid. Why? Well, one of the fields allowed for newline characters. This was an issue because records were separated by newline. So any record with a field containing newline became invalid.

Although, this did not stop me. Not even close. I figured it out and fixed it in about 10 minutes. All records read into the program without issue.

Next for designing the database. My stack is MySQL and NodeJS, which my supervisors approved of. There was a lot of data that looked like it would fit into an integer, but one or two odd records would have something like "1050b" which mean that just a few items prevented me from having as slick of a database design as I wanted. I designed the tables, about 18 columns per record, mostly varchar(64).

Next challenge was putting the exported data into the database. At first I thought of doing it record by record from my python script. Connect to the MySQL server and just iterate over all the data I had. But what I ended up actually doing was generating a .sql file and running that on the server. This took a few tries thanks to a lot of inconsistencies in the data, but eventually, I got all 16k records in the new database and I had never been so happy.

The next two hours were very productive, designing a front end which was very clean. I had just enough time to design a rough prototype that works totally off ajax requests. I want to keep it that way so that other services can contact this data, as it may be useful to have an engineering data API.

Anyways, that was my win story of the week. I was handed a challenge; an old, decaying server full of important data, and despite the hitches one might expect from archaic data, I was able to rescue every byte. I will probably be presenting my prototype to the higher ups in Engineering sometime this week.

Happy Algo!

Tips for using jQuery:

Don't

Proud moment today when I actually made an hsv to rgb conversion algorithm by following a formula rather than copying code from stack overflow

What I want on my gravestone: a single semicolon.

;

git blame
git fired
git depression
git divorce
git homeless
git commit
git job
git house
git wife --better
exit

I came up with a single pass O(n) sort algorithm I call StalinSort. U iterate down the list of elements checking if they are in order. Any element which is out of order is eliminated. At the end u have a sorted list.

@mathew@mastodon.social

A note I leave on my laptop:

"If you steal this computer, you won't know how to use it"

Best random algorithm

The cool thing about side projects is you can do whatever you want.

The shitty thing is you never complete whatever you want.

Bad handwriting is the most effective encryption

If nobody has told you today, your code is looking good ❤️

👈😎👈

CS Teacher: *provides shitty code written in (I kid you FUCKING NOT) Microsoft Word, sans font*

Me: *Submits beautiful, fully working and commented code*

Half a point off because I didnt write how many points the assignment was worth at the very top of the code.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU CUNT GOBBLER?! YOU JUST **HAD** TO TAKE THAT HALF A POINT OFF, DIDNT YOU? MAYBE YOU'RE INTIMIDATED BY THE FACT I DONT USE MICROSOFT WORD TO WRITE C++?? God, I hope you take a nail gun to the eye.

npm is similar to porn: if it exists, there's an npm module about it.

Algorithm: from the Greek "algos" (pain) and rhythmos (repetition), we derive the true meaning of this word: REPEATED PAIN.

:D

We can all relate at some level...

My code signature

Algorithm strikes again 😁

Guys... I did it.

I REALLY don't believe you, Microsoft.

Had two choices: shut down and update, or shut down.

Clicked shut down.

Working on updates, 30% complete.

Cunts. Why did you even ask.

Normal ghosts: "Boo"
Developer ghosts: "Bool"

dfox please put in a "support us" feature of some sort that lets us watch ads of our own free will. I hate using your resources while not working for it at all.

I was googling what happens when an ambulance gets stuck in traffic, but was reminded that I am a dev...

I wrote the algorithm which does this :) very happy with the outcome

Pi Project

It's pinging Google and measuring the response time every three seconds, then graphs the result on the LED SenseHat. It's graphing wifi stability.

Welcome to computers, where:

'9' == 57,
10 == 2,
OCT 31 == DEC 25,
And = is not ==

SO GUESS WHAT

IF YOUR SHITTY WIFI CRAPS OUT DURING A VISUAL STUDIO UPDATE, VISUAL STUDIO FUCKING COMMITS SUICIDE

MICROSOFT CAN SUCK A BIG, VEINY COCK. IM SO DONE WITH THEIR SENSITIVE, CONVOLUTED, SLOW IDE.

Grammarly: the world's most useful keylogger.

Progress on my UWP file explorer! Here's some screenshots. I really enjoy the Acrylic material, and my favorite page is the "There's nothing here" page because it came out EXACTLY as I wanted it. More images in the comments!

There are two things about arrays that sometimes confuse me:

[0]: They start at zero
[1]: They end at one less than the length

I feel notified. Thank you.

What was the question?

In a previous rant I said I was gonna flip some bits. I couldn't wait until the weekend. I flipped some fucking bits, right fuckin now.

"Fuck JavaScript, its such a shitty language" seems to be quite a common rant today. It seems as if JS is actually getting more hate than PHP, which is certainly odd, considering the stereotype.

So, as someone who has spent a lot of time in JS and a lot of time elsewhere, here are my views. Please, discuss your opinions with me as well. I am genuinely interested in an intelligent conversation about this topic.

So here's my background: learned HTML/CSS/JS in that order when I was 12 because I liked computers. I was pretty shitty at JS until U was at least 15, but you get the point, Ive had it sploshing about in my brain for a while.

Now, JS certainly has its quirks, no doubt, but theres nothing about the language itself that I would say makes it shitty. Its a very easy leanguage to use, but isn't overdeveloped like VB.net (Or, as I like to call it, TheresAFunctionForThat)

Most of the hate is centered around JS being used for a very broad range of systems. I doubt JS would be in the rant feed so often if it were to stay in its native ecosystem of web browsers. JS can be used in server backend, web frontent, desktop and mobile applications, and even in some system services (Although this isn't very popular as of yet). People seem to be terrified that one very easy to learn language can go so far. And, oh god, its interpreted... How can a system app run off an interpreted language? That's absurd.

My opinion on JSEverything is that it's progress. Thats what we're all about, right? The technologies already in place are unthreatened by JS, it isn't a gamechanger. The only thing JS integration is doing is making tedius and simple tasks easier. Big companies with large systems aren't going to jump ship and migrate to JS. A startup, however, could save a fucking ton of development time by using a JS framework, however. I want to live in a world where startups can become the next Google, because technology will stagnate when youre trying to protect your fortune, (Look at Apple for fucks sake) but innovation is born of small people with big ideas.

I have a feeling the hate for JS is coming from fear of abandoning what you're already doing. You don't have to do that. JS is only another option (And a very good one, which is why it's becoming so popular).

As for my personal opinion from my experiences... I've left this part til the end on purpose. I love programming and learning and creating, so I've never hated a lamguage, really. It all depends on what I want to do. In the times i've played arpund with JS, I've loved it. Very very easy. The idea of having it on both ends of web development makes a lot of sense too, no conversion, just direct communication. I would imagine this really helps with speed, as well. I wouldn't use it in a complicated system, though. Small things, medium size projects: perfect. Running a bank? No.

So what do you think about this JSUniverse?

People on Stack Overflow are SUCH FUCKING ASSHOLES

"You didn't show us where you declared this unimportant array, please review this article for how to ask questions"

My question doesn't concern the array, my question concerns how the system works, all code I provided was only for clarity. Read my fucking question you arrogant asshole. You have lots of points, fine, go tell your mother, but you assume I don't know how to ask a question which you clearly did not read.

A story of love, loss, and devRant.

My favorite sunglasses were a victim of hurricane Irma. They were sitting on the park bench when a powerful gust of wind blew them onto the cement floor, where both lenses were fucked right where I look out of them. I bought these sunglasses at Disney with my family and have not stopped wearing them since. I was pretty upset.

Enter devRant. Sad and without sunglasses, I hoped that virtual ones might suffice. Lo and fucking behold, in the profile editor, there they were: my exact sunglasses, even with the choice between silver and gold. Absolutely fucking perfect. Made my day.

I've always wanted to experiment with encryption but never do. This weekend, I'm fucking doing it. Even if I'm just flipping a few bits around, I'm fucking gonna flip those bits like they've never been flipped before and they are gonna FUCKING LIKE IT.

CLI: A programmer's dream, and a designer's nightmare.

Interesting thing I did yesterday:

This is a program which loops over every word in the wamerican word database and checks if the username is available on the Mojang servers, thus, this is a Minecraft OG username finder, and it works beautifully.

I'm checking 72,000 words, the only thing is I can only check one per second, so the entire process takes about 20 hours. Any usernames which are available are sent into a text file for later viewing, and it remembers which word it looked at last if you can't have your computer on for 20 hours straight.

Very happy! Found quite a few good names so far!

My chewing algorithm needs improvement. Almost choked eating a fucking kebab.

Websites got ads, so user got adblock, and thus, websites got adblockblock and users got adblockblockblock and websites got adblockblockblockblock and users got adblockblockblockblockblock and websites got ad blockblockblockblockblockblock and users got adblockblockblockblock blockblockblockblockblockblock and websites...

The devRant community:

@dfox: Our lord and savior, a rockstar who gets his comments ++'d just for being dfox
@trogus: The designer who lives in the shadow of dfox, but is still beloved
@tisaconundrum: Has 1 ++ for every time someone has tried, and failed, to pronounce his username in their head. (It's a lot)
@letmecode: The most consistently angry rants
@calmyourtities: I see him a lot
@me: I get mentioned every time the google assistant makes the "algo-rhythm" joke
@linux, @linuxxx, and @linuxforfun are linux users.

Continue in the comments!

Knowledge is knowing how to fix a computer.

Wisdom is knowing to start by rebooting.

If I keep ignoring issues they'll eventually overflow and I'll have a negative amount of bugs, right?

I spent three hours coding some algorithm and then looked it up on Stack Overflow out of curiosity. Big surprise. Someone did the exact same thing but more effeciently, and had all the code in his answer on SO.

Ughhhhhhhh 😓

Dabbling in 3D modeling, I noticed the top of one of these fireworks has polygons visible while the others are shaded smoothly. Good job, Clash of Clans...

64 bit VS Code is out and now I have an erection

Newton's fourth law:

For every bug fix, there is an equal and opposite bug creation.

Made a NodeJS chat thing, had a nice talk with myself

Accident or awesome rant-sorting algorithm?

If your computer is dusty, give it a blowjob

Messing around with the avatars API (Upcoming project...)

And turns out I'm a pretty badass girl

Seeing someone prototype a 3D game with complex lighting using OpenGL in a 15 minute video (It was sped up about 4x but, still, fuck me)

Using c. Not c++.

He also did 3D graphics in BASIC from scratch to explain how they work, generally.

"I thought you were supposed to be good with computers"...

Yeah, let me just pull my fucking printer fixing degree out of my crusty asshole so you can bitch more about some other technology that I almost never use but assume I can just immediately fix just because I'm a dev

...mom

I always use brackets for clarity even if there is only one statement inside them

if (boolean){
function ();
}

Cus it's so much easier to read, and if I need to add statements after the if I don't need to remember to add brackets. Plus the else may need brackets and an if with no brackets but an else with brackets looks awful.

After a long time in .NET and JavaScript, I have returned to Java today. I was quite happy about it for a few minutes!

Algorithm

Interestingly, Google maps thinks I have no regard for roads.

Me: *Has 3 difficult exams to study for and hours of work*

Also me: I should try my hand at encryption in Python.

I have a co-worker that always uses "I'm too old" as an excuse.

You're 33. You're just a lazy piece of shit that doesn't take care of his body.

Fuck you, do work.

This one hits home a bit.

So my friend from my first college hits me up, asks about what's going on and shit. It's all chill, we took a bunch of programming classes together, so it we weren't intimate friends just kinda familiar with each other. He says he's having trouble finding work, they all turn him down due to a lack of experience. I suggest we work on a project together. Anything. He thinks it's a good idea and we plan to meet up.

We meet up, long story short decided on an Android app. I failed setting up git but whatever, I'll fix it at home. He seems excited, I'm excited...

...Never heard back from him again. Won't answer texts, Skype, anything.

Not sure if it was the missing spaces in the title, the text lingo and bad grammar in the description, or the clickbait-style graphic but I AM SOLD.

Algorithm

Unpopular opinion: I like eclipse

Boils my fucking blood.

How many billions of dollars is Microsoft worth again? And they still make me update my fucking updater?

Why is there even a separate program for updating??

Microsoft is just one big fucking virus

Some nights I feel like this line was commented out right before I was compiled:

goto sleep;

I didnt make my root partition big enough fuuuuuuuuck

Stupid fucking tutorial said "10GB should be enough!"

Should have listened to myself. Fuck me.

Y'all can stop crying now

Like a bad relationship

Be really excited for the first month or so then once the new car smell starts to fade, lose interest and dump it.

There are no tech jobs here, but sometimes it's too beautiful to be upset

Quite proud of my arch linux on pi setup so far! I even made the wallpaper :)

Lovely Algo you have there.

night.sleep = null;
relationship.status = "alone";
hungry = true;

A short poem.

HURRICANE INSPIRED PI PROJECT!

So in anticipation of hurricane Irma I built this little thing which measures barometric pressure using my raspberry pi's sense hat! It also adds the data to a graph. Very fun!

Vim development, ladies and gentlemen

Java is too verbose? Pff, noooo...

How often should I change the oil in my search engine?

All right Bois, it's my first 3D model in years: a lamp post's base.

Jesus fuck this shit has a learning curve.

Sometimes you just gotta take a step back and laugh.

AI is all fun and games until the NPC begs you not to shut down the game.

My first real "rant", okay...

So I decided today to hop back on the horse and open Android Studio for the first time in a couple months.

I decided I was going to make a random color generator. One of my favorite projects. Very excited.

Got all the layouts set up, and got a new color every tap with RGB and hex codes, too. Took more time to open Android Studio, really.

Excited with my speedy progress, I think "This'll be done in no time!". Text a friend and tell them what I'm up to. Shes very nice, wants the app. "As soon as I'm done". I expected that to be within the hour.

I want to be able to save the colors for future reference. Got the longClickListener set up just fine. Cute little toast pops up every time. Now I just need to save the color to a file.

Easy, just a semicolon-deliminated text file in my app's cache folder.

Three hours later, and my file still won't write any data. Friend has gone to sleep. Homework has gone undone. My hatred for Android is reborn.

Stay tuned, the adventure continues tomorrow...

Scripting languages, markup languages, database querying languages, etc. Are all types of programming languages. A program is a set of instructions for a computer to follow.

HTML is a programming language, fight me.

Why do you wake up tired?? Isn't that what you go to bed to fix?! What the fuck kind of bullshit is this?!

How do JavaScript devs distinguish their grandmother from an imposter?

isNaN

When you can code thousands of lines but is lost of words when trying to communicate to humans how you did it.

Today I wrote a website in Notepad++ purely for a surge of nostalgia

My PlayStation 1 has never needed an update, but these days, everything comes with an updater. Like, "oh, boy, my TV needs to update again". There's something wrong.

Since I have been working a LOT with terminal graphics lately, I made a really shit bitmap machine in JavaScript so I can draw bitmaps and get the int value instantly! Very proud of self, took 10 minutes between Overwatch games.

Windows Console double-buffered

Was writing a comment with an unsmiley emoji

IDE auto-completed the open parenthesis.

I was surprised.

:()

Asked a question on stack overflow, immediately got an upvote. Maybe 2018 will be different after all.

Me: *unsubscribes from Twitter emails*

Twitter: successfully unsubscribed! We're still gonna see you emails tho, lmaoo

For all you meme lovers

namespace Improvise {
static class Adapt {
int Overcome;
}
}

Improvise.Adapt.Overcome

Got arch Linux working on my laptop.

Installed Budgie GNOME, Cairo dock, Termite, VS Code, Code::Blocks, Android Studio, IntelliJ....

It's so beautiful

Someone should write a really infectious virus for Linux to make all the fanboys shut the fuck up about security.

Sort of bittersweet, but that's what I get for trying to answer a shitty question

Juste design a new algorithm to evaluate the chance of a project (any kind of project) will exceed the budget (time of cost). This algorithm been proven to be right almost all the time.

Okay, sublime text is amazing. Super fast and easy on the eyes. If I had $70 I would purchase a license.

This spring I was working on a library for an algorithm class at uni with some friends and one of the algorithm was extremely slow, we were using Python to study graphs of roads on a map and a medium example took about 6-7h of commission to finish (I never actually waited for so long, so maybe more).
I got so pissed of for that code that I left the lab and went to eat. Once I got back I rewrote just the god-damned data structure we were using and the time got down to 300ms. Milliseconds!

Lessons learned:
- If you're pissed go take a walk and when you'll come back it will be much easier;
- Don't generalize to much a library, the data structure I write before was optimized for a different kind of usage and complete garbage for that last one;
- Never fucking use frozen sets in Python unless you really need them, they're so fricking slow!

"Updating steam" is the new "Update available for Java"

Gonna let this one speak for itself.

The Algorithm

Do you know programmers like this...?

Not a rant about anything in particular. Just a summary of some feelings stored in the hateful part of my heart.

Developing for Android: Add this third-party library to your Gradle build. Use (this) built-in Android class to make the thing work.

*Clicks link

Deprecated since API version SUCKMYDICK-7. Use (this) instead

*Clicks link

Deprecated since API version LICKMYBALLS-32. Use...

Developing for Windows: Please use (this) API call. It was literally already available before Bill Gates was born. Carbon dating has placed this item to older than the universe itself and it is likely the entry point for the big bang. It is also still the best way to accomplish (task).

Developing for Linux: "Hmm, I wonder how to use this"

> > > Some shitty mailing list in small blue monospace font tells you to reference a man page that is three versions behind but the only version available.

What? Those three sentences didn't explain it enough? Well, maybe you aren't cut out for this type of thing.

JavaScript: you know how it is.

SQL: You expect a decent-quality answer from stack overflow but you always get an outdated and hacky response and it's using syntax from Microsoft SQL. You need MySQL.

C#: A surprising number of Microsoft forum results ranking high on Google. You click on one in hopes that it will be of any sort of quality. You quickly close the tab and wonder why you ever even had hope.

Literally any REST API: Is it "query" or "q"? "UserID" or "user_id"? Oh, fuck, where's the docs again?

You thought you escaped JavaScript, but it was a trick!: Some bullshit library you downloaded to make your other library work redefined one of the global variables in the project you inherited. Now you get 347 "<x> is not a function" errors in your console. Good luck, asshole.

FontAwesome/ Material fonts/ Any icon font pack: You search "Close" for a close button icon. No results. You search "Simplified railroad crossing sign without the railroad". You get a close icon.

I think that's all of my pent up rage. Each of them were too small for an individual rant so I had to do this essay.

I just experienced the opposite of rant.

I spent 1 entire day ranting about a algorithm I couldn't write with no issues, it occupied all my mind and got me pissed of.

And today, I rewrote it entirely, and it works perfectly everywhere.

I was like : "No it can't work here. Oh ok", "And here's the bug ! No ? Nice.", "Don't tell me it'll work here. I'm a God".

That's why I love being a dev :D
Thank you, you freaking problem I had !

Today, social media databases around the world will be forced to accept billions of shitty firework photos.

It kinda works and that's okay

Me: <!DOCTYPE html>
Jekyll: BUILD FAILED

Genuinely upset that I don't have wifi

Fuck Irma

Fuck this.

I can deal without a/c, not wifi.

Kill me.

Since everyone seems to be talking about getting places late, here's my not-so-significant story about my most recent interview.

So I was told that GPS probably wouldn't work. But the instructions that I got were not specific enough to guide me - something I learned only once I arrived in the general area that I was supposed to be in.

Ended up going one street too far and talking to the wrong front desk. They kindly gave me instructions to get to my destination.

These instructions were also wrong. They left out one step and viola, I'm at the gate of the sheriff dog training facility.

Turn 'er around and finally get on the correct road. My 20 minutes early turned into 10 minutes late, just like that.

They were understanding and I got the job.

Spent two days debugging my algo to figure it was a problem with the colors they picked and my logic was fucking flawless!

Sweetest feeling ever :D

I'm sort of color blind so I never check colors and I'm really straight about it with everyone: I don't pick colors.

Its a rant with a happy ending :)

Recently, Comcast limited my bandwidth to 1TB. I'd be upset, but my service is so slow I don't think I could use it all in just a month!

!rant

After reading the wiki page over and over, I was finally able to implement Dijkstra's algorithm 😃

Stupid spelling error. But on line 69. So I wasn't mad.

The worst part about using the computers at my school is that my $200 mechanical rgb programmable keyboard with macro keys is at home.

Best feeling in the world? Freshly cleaned laptop/ keyboard.

For the first time in 18 years, it only takes two keys to type the year. (2002)

Is there a bug in the way it's decided which posts are displayed? This is on algorithm mode. There are a lot more 250++ posts below here with a couole of 1++ posts in between. And almost all of them I've seen before and ++d them

Lua comes with its own tutorial, written in Lua.

RESPECT.

Technically, everything's SFW at pornhub HQ

Power-out inspired pi project!

Just a simple flashlight. Brightness and color can be controlled by the joystick. It runs off a phone battery pack

A LOT of this article makes me fairly upset. (Second screenshot in comments). Sure, Java is difficult, especially as an introductory language, but fuck me, replace it with ANYTHING OTHER THAN JAVASCRIPT PLEASE. JavaScript is not a good language to learn from - it is cheaty and makes script kiddies, not programmers. Fuck, they went from a strong-typed, verbose language to a shit show where you can turn an integer into a function without so much as a peep from the interpreter.

And fUCK ME WHY NOT PYTHON?? It's a weak typed but dynamic language that FORCES good indentation and actually has ACCESS TO THE FILE SYSTEM instead of just the web APIs that don't let you do SHIT compared to what you SHOULD learn.

OH AND TO PUT THE ICING ON THE CAKE, the article was comparing hello worlds, and they did the whole Java thing right but used ALERT instead of CONSOLE.LOG for JavaScript??? Sure, you can communicate with the user that way too but if you're comparing the languages, write text to the console in both languages, don't write text to the console in Java and use the alert api in JavaScript.

Fuck you Stanford, I expected better you shitty cockmunchers.

I know it's not done yet but OOOOOH boy I'm proud already.

Writing a JSON parser in Lua and MMMM it can parse arrays! It converts to valid Lua types, respects the different quotation marks, works with nested objects, and even is fault-tolerant to a degree (ignoring most invalid syntax)

Here's the JSON array I wrote to test, the call to my function, and another call to another function I wrote to pretty print the result. You can see the types are correctly parsed, and the indentation shows the nested structure! (You can see the auto-key re-start at 1)

Very proud. Just gotta make it work for key/value objects (curly bracket bois) and I'm golden! (Easier said than done. Also it's 3am so fuck, dude)

Can anyone recommend good books for coding algorithm​s?

Any tips and tricks would also be helpful. Thanks.

my Input: want from A -> B
The algorithm of my Public transport App result:
Walk from A to B, then take the tram from B to A. From there you walk to B.

Ooooookay.

This has been happening ALL WEEK. FUCKING COMCAST.

Also I did write the internet logger myself.

FUCK capitalist greed! I have befallen to their tricks once again. The daily dosage on my gummy vitamins was three a day but the total gummies in the container wasn't divisible by three so I had to buy three containers and eat one from each per day!

Irony is seeing a "Web design" template on a website builder...

I have never used a css framework

For God sake tinder, fix your fucking algorithm.

Why are you showing my beautiful and out of my league girls. I don't want depression everytime I open tinder.

Please show me avarage looking girls.

Why don't we call infinite loops "Groundhog cycles"?

That feeling when you are an experienced dev and you make a fool of yourself on Stack Overflow.

Might be old, but still

Dear management,

I require one vertical monitor for my JS, one vertical monitor for my HTML, one vertical monitor for my CSS, and two stacked ultrawide monitors for testing in browser.

Thanks,
Many loves,
Algo.

The Luhn algorithm implemented in cobol to validate Swedish personal identification number.
What do you think?

Schedule tonight = Netflix && chill();

Algo algo1 = new Algo();
Algo algo2 = new Algo();

algo1.setOpacity(.5);
algo2.setOpacity(.5);

// The following image is ENTIRELY unedited:

I finally finished my implementation of a suffix array construction algorithm! 😄
It takes about 30 mins to process 1GB of text and uses all available RAM, but it works! 🎉
Now I can optimize it, the original algorithm is 3x faster.

Works as backend developer for 2 years now; Almost fails simple university algorithm course.

I'm contemplating my whole life and career choice right about now.

As a programmer, my homework folder actually CAN be gigabytes.

The code for some of the backend of my 100% custom media server in front of the blurred frontend of my media server. It just looks cool

My mind is crippled but I have always wanted to implement Dijkstra’s algorithm, in cobol. Solved by using adjacency matrix. What do you think?

I want heated earbuds.

Who the hell is it designed for then??

Reasons 1 and 2 arent that important to me. The main reason I code is #3.

1) Brain exercise. I always feel sharp after a coding session, even if it ended in disaster.
2) Lots to do! There's never a full day in code. Make your own universe, if you so desire.
3) Pride. I have a pride problem. I never felt proud of myself no matter what I do. I graduated with a melancholy feeling, same deal when getting my license, same deal when passing a test (God, glad that's over!)... But code makes me proud. I love what I make. I want to show everyone. I want to show it to everyone before it's even finished because I just can't wait. I want everyone to use it and to love it. Because I sure do, and it's the best thing ever.

I could make a viral video, produce a triple platinum record, or build a billion dollar business and still not feel the same level of genuine satisfaction and happiness that I may get from writing good code.

It always keeps me coming back.

People who actually implement DRY: "Don't repeat yourself!"

People who "implement" DRY but are morons: "Don't repeat yourself, never say the same thing twice, and try not to be redundant."

Caught a nice pair with the algorithm today...

Here's hoping your mornings were all something a little more in-between!

Lots of oof in one image.

I like how they had the audacity to say (and I fucking quote): "this is good news!"

I don't like to complain about sites generating revenue. I understand it is important and I even feel morally obligated not to use an adblocker. But all I will say is that the site has sustained itself for a very long time without the use of poor-quality and unrelated ads, and this feels like a lot more of a money grab than something the site actually requires.

Anyways, happy to see a -400 score on it. And I guess I can't wait to get Amazon ads on SO.

I FREAKED OUT

I WAS A DIFFERENT PERSON FOR SOME REASON

Dfox thanks for the heart attack, I thought I got hacked.

Historically, in operating rooms, surgeons would discard biomedical waste in buckets. When a patient died on the operating table, the lead surgeon would get so upset that he would "kick the bucket", which is now a term for when someone dies.

That's a fake fact, just like "Java runs on 4 billion devices"

When you don't want to explain what you've done with application's code base so you play the "algorithm" card.

Boss: tell me about the new release.
Me: updated the search algorithms boss.
Boss: cool. Release!
Me: 😎

Fixing tire pressure.
40.4 psi
"Oh, there's no air in the tire"
>>Confused looks

Probably the last person to enter this, but fuck, it's done! Somewhat, but not totally inspired by this week's theme, I went to Ikea today and bought this brand-new beauty, along with a rug and small LED strip and OH. MY. GOD.

Technically didn't clean it off because it has never been dirty before. More pics in the comments. Holy shit I love it.

Every programmer ever

after hours of trying to get the wifi working... Manjaro KDE is functional... and it's beautiful

Look at the blurred background behind the terminal! Magic!

Everything's so snappy... and the dark theme... I'm in love.

I made a devRant bot!!

It's an anti-devRant bot bot that spams the notifications of devRant bots.

Just call @fuckbots <bot name> <message to have the attacked bot execute>

@fuckbots doesn't have a blacklist, so once all other bots have been defeated, I will call @fuckbots fuckbots. It's a wonderful circle.

devRant algorithm strikes again!

Gonna set up my raspberry pi to boot right into retroarch for a classic games console. Woohoo

We were going over man in the middle attacks today and I honestly just could not stop thinking about that SpongeBob episode where Squidward keeps intercepting the bubble messages between SpongeBob and Patrick and it was so dumb that I could not stop smiling.

Next generation JSON representation algorithm

All front end and no back end makes Jack a dull bitch, or something.

We all know you can't "learn x programming language in a day" without travelling to the Arctic and catching a day that last half a year.

But what's the worst language to try and learn in a day?

I vote c++. Manual memory management, multiple inheritance, static compilation, operator overloading, and generally non-human syntax ( Like std::cout << "This is how you print!" << std::endl; ) make it a difficult one to attempt in a day.

Writing some algorithm:
me: *codes for half an hour*
"hmm... isn't working... wait wtf this isn't right..."
me: *codes for an hour again*
"still not working hmmm... wait what no this isn't supposed to work..."
me: *codes for a few hours*
"still not working God damnit.... it's supposed to work now..."
me after another few hours: MOTHERFUCKER CAN YOU START FCKING WORKING FUUUUUUUUUUU

This algo is killing me

What the fuck happened? Yesterday I spent about an hour downloading ~40 files and after a restart they disappeared???

Guys! And Gals! I wrote my first useful algorithm. Feels good.

Every fucking time I got to geeksforgeeks for an algorithm, it's fucking wrong. Fuck that site.

Is it just me or does this math not fucking work out??

How does this happen....

The algorithm is to good

Depends. No one took for the job. VSCode is really good for web and Python. I use Visual Studio for c#, c++ and c. Jetbrains for Java stuff, including Android studio.

When writing SQL I usually use vendor-provided editors like MySQL Workbench. They're the tool made for the job.

Visual Studio Code is my generic editor thanks to it's easy-access terminal. Makes running anything a breeze.

It doesn't feel as snappy as other editors though and installing plugins just for intellisense to work can be annoying, which is why I use other tools for other workflows.

Generally, I avoid things like vim. Sorry, but I have a mouse AND a keyboard. Paid for em both, and I intend to use em. Sometimes I wanna find a setting in a menu and not fuck around with config files after googling what the right setting is called.

I used Sublime for a while, but never really got too into it. It's okay.

Nice algorithm @dfox and @trogus!!!

According to Steam Stats, Ethiopia has downloaded 1.5 terabytes of games in the past 7 days. Madagascar has downloaded 5.2

China is in the lead with 79 PB, followed closely by America with 60.

Whenever I feel like too much of an idiot to be a developer, I go to settings and tap my device info 10 times.