Enjoy! 😉

Happy New Year Devs!

My coffee machine broke D:

starting another side project 😭😭😭😭😭

the ability to recognize when someone is better at something than you might be the most valuable skill of all

no glass ceilings, just exponential growth at every opportunity

I met a tourist today and I asked her what she thought of our town, she said "there's lot's of psychopaths" I asked how could she tell? She said "there are signs you know". We talked for a few minutes then she cycled off.

Deleted over 1'500 lines of code over the last 2 days and replaced it with 80 lines of readable, simple, generic code.

And I'm feeelin' gooood 🎶

!dev

Nothing is a dream.

My very first step, as I left the staircase, was on a plate. A loud click made my instincts tick, pushing me to blindly roll forwards.

Before I even had the time to process, that I had just evaded being burnt alive by a wall of flames, the rumblings of another mechanism made my heart accelerate yet again.

Five iron spikes descended uppon me, scratching my cloak, but no more. Twice I was lucky...

But three doors: one behind me, two to my left and right. The ones at my sides spring open with a loud crack, and four terrors pour out, seeking to flay me alive and wear my skin.

I slash at them with my bloody falchion, walking backwards, seeking to escape through the remaining door. Primal fear runs through my spine as I realize: it's barred from the other side!

Burning through my mana, I manage to unlock the door, and quickly close it behind me... but the terrors do not abandon the chase. With inhuman strength, they pound on the door, while desperately crying out for my blood.

I try to escape to the next room... another locked door. There must be another way! There has to, or I'm as well as dead...

What's this, in the corner, among cobwebs? A handle... and a secret passageway, that I can close from the other side! Magnificent!

Another flight of stairs takes me deeper into the tomb. I find an oil lamp, suspiciously well-maintained. Someone has been here recently...

I marvel at the macabre carvings on the wall, depicting scenes from when immortal tyrants ruled the earth. Haven't I seen these before... ?

No matter, I must focus. I was instructed to find an artefact hidden within this acursed place, that I may use for the purification ritual -- there is only one way, so onwards.

An old wooden gate, with a broken bronze knob. Soon as I put my hand on it, it opens inwards...

Eyes black like diamonds, she awaited me inside.

I had never been, simultaneously, just as terrified as enraptured. Day and night, her voice still reverberates inside my mind. And even as I lay dead, her inescapable gaze still clutches the very bottom of my heart.

"Did you come for me?" she asked, smiling, opening up her arms, so that I may fall into her sweet, loving embrace.

"Yes" I whispered as I walked towards her, enthralled.

In a bout of deranged ecstasy, she drank every last drop of my blood. But then... she cried, cuddling my remains.

"No... no, no, NO!" her screams tore apart her very soul "I killed my son... I KILLED MY SON!"

Oh, mother...
Don't cry mother
it hurts no more.

Now I live again.
And I forgive you.

Because I loved you,
as ashamed as I am to admit,
the very moment I saw your eyes,
I loved you.

"I was imprisoned here, so that I may not harm anyone else" she muttered, tears in her eyes "I cannot stop myself -- I am cursed"

Do not ask of me, that I end your suffering.
How could I?
If there is no cure...

"Please, my love... " she begged "kill me... "

No... I can't...
I can't bear either weight
for the rest of this wretched eternity!

How could I take your life?
But how could I leave you to suffer?!

"Now we'll be together... " she smiled, as I raised the falchion.

"Forevermore" I wept, before bringing it down.

***

Nothing is a dream.

Somber, I returned to the Santuary, having fulfilled my mission.

But looking uppon the bone mask I donned, obscuring my eyes, the Matriarch knew that I had been... changed.

I felt no remorse as I slaughtered the witch that doomed my beloved, right on her own altar to heresy. She earned as much.

Her guards, however, I could not defeat.

But that doesn't matter;
deep inside, I was already dead.
And behind the mask,
the whole way through,
I had shed tears without pause.

"Now we'll be together... " I prayed to the nightsky, as silver blades punctured my thorax.

"Forevermore" her sweet voice replied.

***

Trying out Gnome again, because KDE is "just ok", and Hyprland and DWM are fine, but I wanted to try something different. (Actually DWM is amazing, and Hyprland is sorta weird?)

You know, it's not that bad. Doesn't even seem to be as memory crazy as everyone seems to say either...idk what I did, but it appears to be using around a GB, maybe a little less. Definitely not the experience I remember from the Gnome 2 days. Anyway, I was curious, so I was looking at the source on Github....and why the fuck is there javascript in this DE code? WHY. I do not understand.

Maybe I'm fucking nuts, but I actually kind of like the workflow, once I've applied a couple of "tweaks". But seriously, I am fucking gobsmacked at the JS thing. Why.

Script kiddies. Everywhere.

Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day... He loves his pot.

OMG SharePoint is such a royal cluster fuck.

Random interface with some controls here, some controls there, sometimes shit is in one place, another time it is in another.

It is like a fucking retarded toddler glued a bunch of different animal parts together to make a pet monkey-horse-fish. Frankinware 🧟

Whomever runs that at Microsoft needs a spanking. Hell, their mother needs a spanking for birthing them.

If I were an employee again, I would do a short stint in a startup to learn the ropes of a business, and then work in a big company, because big companies are effing slow. ie job is secure compared to the risk in Startups.

Use that sweet ass time, to create a secret github account to do your side project, while dragging your actual work like for days. xD

And be an average or slightly above employee for them to retain you but don't go above and beyond to get more work and fake praises and a measly bonus, or other employees to envy you. There is simply no incentive in most cases. "We are a big family" is not a great reason.

But lastly never lose sight of your original goal. It is easy to slack off and become one of them dunce.

Some people really deserve a high-five.

On the face.

With a chair.

Have you ever been pair coding with someone who uses shotgun debugging? I am about to claw my eyes out! What is shotgun debugging you ask?
Code doesn't work... What do we do?
I start thinking about possible flow, how to go back to what works, where to insert debugging statements. My partner interrupts my thought and says - what if we change this variable name?
...uh what?
What if that fixes it
It won't!
Well how do you know if you don't try?
I change the variable name - of course nothing works and now I forgot the possible solution I was thinking about...
Starting over... I again start coming close to the idea... Interrupts me again. What if we comment out this random line?
Why what's your reasoning?
Answer: *Shrug* idk might work...
...rinse and repeat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!
I literally started muting my computer sound so I can not hear him while I think and that helps tremendously. This is programming not magic, people!!! Stop throwing random "what if" suggestions!

A few months ago, we asked an external company to create a simple project since we lack the developers now...

I've just looked into it and the first thing we found was Evil Rick (from Rick & Morty)

My first startup. I think we had about 5k usd in sales, in a 2 year period. Good stuff.

My 1000 job applications tiktok journey may come to an end soon

Had 2, now I cant believe i have 3 (or 4) interviews from 3-4 different companies scheduled day after day, or hour after hour depending on schedule i choose. All of them are very interested in hiring me. For 7 months i couldnt find a job and almost no one wanted to interview. Ever since i went to the Church for Easter to pray, all of a sudden 4 new doors opened to me 1 week later, all in 1 week...

One time I had this conversation with my then PM:

PM: …so in total we need like 3 extra pages; the leaders profile, event showcase and lastly a contact page.

Me: Sure, already on it.

PM: Make it simple and quick, I told the client the updates would be live in an hour.

Me: Okay.

*{5 microseconds later}*

PM: Also the page headers need to be different from the other pages.

Me: Yes, you told me that earlier.

PM: Okay, just needed to re-emphasis.

*{sad disturbing minutes later}*

PM: I don’t know if deploying on azure would be better than having the website on AWS. The pages seems slow.

Me: Yep.

PM: Or maybe we separate the asset files from the main site using a CDN.

Me: You right.

PM: The other projects on AWS seems to perform better in terms of SEO. Don’t you think?

Me: I think.

*{this dude literally just lent me a jacket and won’t allow me put it on}*

PM: So after we are done with this update we need to inform the client about the benefits of switching servers to AWS. I believe they will agree or won’t they because the event is close by?

Me: {{pointed both hands at my PC hoping they’ll get the message}}

PM: Oh you done?

Me:

Feeling overworked and underpaid, as my skill set improves I find myself less and less willing to do actual work, I consider my payscale far to low for my ability and as such I work far less than I probably should. My partner is doing well though, I guess that’s what I get for working with a start up.

Here’s hoping I can land a new job soon with that chunky pay raise I deserve.

On a positive note, I got pre-approved for a mortgage today so that might mean I can move into an actual home instead of this land lord bullshit.

Some simple yet underrated tips for staying in the coding game.

* Coffee.
* Shower if your head feels heavy.
* A simple change to your theme or fonts
* Change of body posture: standups or sitting.
* Switch between desktop and laptop.
* Switch OSes, linux and OSX (good way to also ensure your config/build is portable)
* Long occasional morning/evening walks to think of solutions.
* Throw some shit on the political left on devrant..

Send me some coffee if you find these tips helpful. xD

On these days, I’ve been trying to update at least my Firefox or chromium in the Ubuntu 12.04.1 because they work so slowly and everything I found was using terminal command sudo apt-get upgrade or update. I tried that but what my console was showing me has nothing to do with what I saw on a few tutorials, can anyone explain why this is isn’t working?

Pd: I suppose my Ubuntu version is pretty old

Run the defragmentation tool!

"When i see a door with a push sign, i pull first to avoid conflicts !!!"

i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!

Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.

Do managers not fucking understand that Jira is meant to eliminate all this stupid "What's the status with X?", and "Is Y done yet?" chatter. Our communication channels should be on business logic and other global updates about the company, not about fucking workflow status updates because you have nothing else to do with your day but ping me every 5 minutes.

LOOK AT THE REVIEW COLUMN ON JIRA. I MEAN ITS LITERALLY CALLED REVIEW. SO REVIEW IT AND DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.

I swear the devs consistently have a better overview on timelines and project status than management does - which is sad, because this is literally the definition of management!!!

*PM on drugs*

PM: The destination list on our Infinity Rider app is not updating even after the user changes their pickup location.

Me: ???

PM: Infinity App not updating after pick up point change.

Me: Not really sure what you mean... Can I get a screen record?

PM: {{sends screen record}}

PM: You see it's showing results of old search. Not good!!!

Me: {{Watch media half way through and saw the obvious}}

Me: Results on available destination are relative to the user's current location and not the pickup address.

PM: Why would that be? Not good enough!

Me: You actually requested that implementation after I had previously made the destination recommendation list relative to selected pickup address.

PM: Please revert immediately!!!

Me: Hmmm... You told me the reason why that implementation was needed was to prevent users from selecting interstate addresses because they could.

PM: Ooh true. You can leave as is.

PM: {{proceeds to delete all older messages but last}}

Me: (⊙_⊙)

{{ 4 hours later }}

PM: I think we need to look into this implementation a second time.

Manager asked suggestions to make any changes to work culture, because of the overall productivity issue of the team. The culture was so much toxic that no one was ready to speak.

My Contract just got terminated with immediate effect

Some part of me feels like its a good thing

My boy is alive

For now, until the components start to corrode.