Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Manager: How come the intern does way more tickets than you?
Dev: Because you told me to only give him the easy ones since he either can’t do them otherwise or takes too long on the hard ones
Manager: Well how is he going to learn if we only give him easy ones?
Dev: That’s what I told you when you orig—
Manager: Assign him ALL of the hard tickets on your board immediately!
*Tickets closed per day drops significantly*
Manager: WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG ON THESE TICKETS!!!!!
Dev: …19 -
Listening to Linkin Park while coding.
Head banging, foot tapping, just singing along in my head.
Then the boss messaged me, "should we produce some tickets?".
Apparently, I'm singing rather loudly.
Earth, swallow me up now.27 -
PROBLEM: A tickets' company came to us last autumn. They said they have severe performance problems and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: covid and quarantines. All events have been ceased, noone's buying any tickets any more. Performance problems are no more. FIXED.
PROBLEM: Another company came to us recently. They said they have severe performance problems with their huge databases and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: a few days of heavy rain and their datacenter was flooded. along with the backup servers. No more data, no more performance problems with large databases. FIXED
Solving problems genie style!
Who's next?8 -
First on the phone this afternoon and also a crapload of tickets.
*alright let's do some tickets*
*tringgggggg*
*fair enough, phone comes first*
*half an hour later call finishes*
*alright, tickets!*
*tringggg*
*alright phone first again*
*handles call, hangs up*
*Aaand tickets!*
*Tringgggggggg*
*oh come on I need to do tickets :/*
*handles call again and closes convo*
*Aaaand now: ticke... *TRINGGGG*
*oh come on!!*
*handles call once again*
*please don't interrupt me now, I need to do those ti.... *TRINGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
*fucking hell!*
*handles call and tries to stay calm*
*now tickets!*
*types reply, presses repl... *TRINGGGG 😈*
*OH FOR FUCKS SAKE*
*handles call once a-FUCKING-gain*
*if the phone rings now...*
*goes to the reply button again and: clic.... *TRINGGGGGG - GO FUCK YOURSELF!*
FUUUUUUUCKING FUCKING FUCK.
FUCK. TODAY WAS ANNOYING AS HELL.9 -
Manager: How long until the current set of tickets is complete?
Dev: Based on storyboard points it’ll be 1.5 weeks from now
Manager: That’s unacceptable! Let me take a look at the board and see if I can remove some low priority tickets.
*Later that day*
Manager: Oooo I found a bunch of really exciting tickets in the backlog that I forgot about. I’ve added them to the board.
Dev: Did you remove any?
Manager: Huh? Oh right. No, I looked and it all needs to get done.
Dev: With these new tickets added to the board our new estimate is 4 weeks.
Manager: WHAT?!? BUT I SPENT ALL DAY LOOKING FOR EFFICIENCIES!!
Dev: …15 -
So our public transportation company started to sell tickets online with their brand new fancy system.
• You can buy tickets and passes for the price you want
• Passwords are in plaintext
• Communication is through HTTP
• Login state are checked before the password match so you can basically view who is online
• Email password reminders security code can be read from servers response
Oh and I almost forgot admin credentials are FUCKING admin/admin
Who in the fucking name of all gods can commit such idiocracy with a system that would be used by almost millions of people. I hope you will burn in programming hell. Or even worse...
I'm glad I'm having a car and don't have to use that security black hole.15 -
In an effort to deal with the number of “top priority” tickets, management has come up with a new priority level, “urgent”, to help differentiate between tickets that are “top priority” and tickets that are actually “top priority”.
So as you can guess all tickets are now codified as “urgent”.
I’ve suggested management downgrade some tickets back to merely “top priority” as we’re clearly right back where we started with it being difficult to determine which order to do tickets in.
They’ve ignored my request as the bletherings of a clearly unenlightened peon, and have instead came up with a new priority, “mission critical” which will be reserved for the most hallowed of emerg— oh no wait everything is now “mission critical” who would have guessed?
So “Top priority” is the now lowest priority a ticket can have…Naturally.16 -
This is how my day has gone so far:
1. In car, see advert about hackathon
2. Look it up, see tickets go on sale in 30mins
3. Read more about hackathon, apparently tickets go within minutes
4. Get tickets, print
5. Printer out of ink
6. Accidentally deleted ticket, can't reprint
7. No more tickets left so can't get another
8. Spend hours with data recovery tools
9. Remember recycle bin. Reprint ticket
10. Cry
11. Rant on devRant11 -
There's one kind of ticket I fucking love. Wait, YOU LOVE TICKETS?! No, except for one.
Tickets where people ask us to restore backups.
Why do I love them?
Because the only fucking thing I need to do is reply with a link to a helpdesk item on our website because backups aren't something within our support range because it's easy for customers to do.
So whenever a ticket about restoring a backup comes in, it's as easy as opening the ticket, pasting the link with "I'd like to refer you to the following resource: " and pressing fucking "reply"
😄15 -
boss: please look into tools that do X.
fullstackchris: Ah, here's a solution we can use!
boss: I don't want to use it because it is too complicated.
fullstackchris: ok, that's fine with me...
[one week later] boss: oh I found this nice site that does X, can we do X?
fullstackchris: YES, THAT'S EXACTLY THE SOLUTION I ALREADY FOUND, *AFTER* YOU ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR A SOLUTION, AND IN THE END YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. OH HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?!?!
F*@#! *%*#8 -
At my previous job, the person in charge of the Phabricator server didn't have a backup system in place. I yelled at him until he implemented one.
He had the server perform backups to the same drive. I yelled at him again, to no avail.
Well, after awhile the hard drive started failing, and it would only boot intermittently. After a lot of effort, he was able to salvage part of the backup data, but no more, meaning we lost a lot of bug reports and feedback, and developer tickets. We were able recover all of the older lost tickets from a previous server, so overall the loss was pretty small.
But I think he learned his lesson.
He definitely learned to listen.6 -
During the entire afternoon we had a ridiculously low amount of tickets.
Suddenly 'is this the real life, or is this just fantasy' popped up in my head.
😆14 -
# Day 0:
Me: "Hey boss, I want to let you know that I need this kind of information from the customer for these features, otherwise I cannot finish the project's milestone in two weeks."
Boss: "OK, just continue as far as you can get. We have to get this finished."
Me: "Well, I cannot go any further for these tickets. I need that input. Shall we leave them in todo?"
Boss: "OK."
# Day 7:
Boss: "Whe didn't you start on these tickets in todo?
Me: "As I have told you, I need some information."
Boss: "We gotta get this out of the door!"
Me: "Yes, if we want to meet the deadline, we should. Yet I cannot guess the feature. Also, let me create a column: `to clarify` and move that ticket there. As I have said: I need that information. You have to contact the customer about it and get their feedback.
Boss: "OK."
# Day 13:
Boss: "Why isn't this project finished? There are still tickets open."
Me: "You never provided the information I asked you about."
Boss: "I want an explanation not an excuses."
Me o_O: "This is the explanation. I was asking you on multiple occasions about the required feedback. You never provided it. See the columns name? It's called `to clarify`. We created it last time together. That clarification never happened even though I told you that I need it. I cannot do magic. I can only implement features, and while I can sometimes make intelligent guesses to their use cases, I rather implement their actual ones than my fictional ones.
Boss: "You should have told me."
Me: ಠ_ಠ9 -
Them: We really need you to fill out this sheet today with estimated release dates.
Me: I really need you to respond to any of the emails I’ve sent over the past week, asking questions about what these tickets mean.2 -
Walked into the office in the afternoon, everyone was kinda panicking
Asked what was going on, well, the ticket system is not working anymore, can't put in any new tickets.
So I started to look for the issue as well, checked the system and... The last tickets' IDs were at ~32k. Ha. Looked into the source code and, sure enough, they used a data type with an upper limit of... 32k. So when trying to get a new ticket ID it just crashed and burned.
Quickly changed the data type and stopped the office panic in around half an hour.
Memorable not because of how tough the bug was, but because of the impact and the simplicity of the fix3 -
The universe has this weird magical power.
Whenever there are hardly any phone calls and someone mentions something in the trend of that it's not busy at all, we suddenly get overflooded with phone calls.
It's weird how this 'works' every goddamn motherfucking time. (Same goes for tickets)4 -
Manager: I just created a new ticket! The website flashes when you reload it!
Dev: Yes, that's typically what happens when you reload a website.
Manager: ...
Dev: ...5 -
Manager: I don’t understand! How come you take twice as long to do tickets as anyone else but your PRs are stuck in QA for half the time as anyone else??
Dev: …8 -
So some dipshit keeps entering his email wrong on forms and putting mine on instead (never met this guy).
So far I've received holiday bookings, plane tickets and payslips. I've already called his mobile and told him what I've received emails for and what he should change.
Still nothing, maybe I should just rob him blind for being so thick...11 -
Manager: We will be building a new app. THIS TIME EVERYTHING MUST BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, ANYTHING LESS THAN TOP QUALITY WORK WILL BE REJECTED!!
*Not even 2 days into the new project*
Manager: Ok that’s good enough, we can fix it later. Can you go quicker on the next feature? Just sacrifice a bit of quality so we get these tickets closed as fast as possible. I said we can fix it later. Getting tickets closed asap is top priority.
Dev: …3 -
FUCK YOU TICKETMASTER AND YOUR SHITTY WEBSITE.
Why can't you process my request during an EXPECTED WINDOW OF HIGH TRAFFIC?!
DO YOU EVEN LOAD BALANCE, BRO?!
I missed my chance to buy some Hans Zimmer tickets for the ONLY time I've ever seen him listed in my city. I had the tickets in my cart, but it errored out upon checking out. Then, every other attempt to search for tickets resulted in an error.
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!
One day, Hans... One day I will see you. 😢14 -
"Maybe the internet has an error”
Quote from my GF after booking tickets online failed, and on some level I feel like this is a very profound, relevant statement..2 -
Deciphering 10-20 jira tickets that relate to 1 feature which aren't linked in anyway beyond titles spread throughout an epic or 2.
Ah the pain of having to go through 200 tickets to find everything you need for a single feature.7 -
Adventures in security land, part II:
I’m getting pulled off the security review team and instead relegated to part-time security tickets alongside my usual dev work. (So, someone else finds them, i fix them.)
Guess I found and debated too many problems with the lead dev’s code. 🙄13 -
Intranet not working.
Delete certificates.
Still not working.
Ask IT.
You need to create ticket to delete certificates.
IT site is in intranet.
Intranet not working.
Ask IT to create ticket.
They can't create tickets for users.
FML
Just another day in corporation.1 -
Wanna attend the developer conference?
White and male? Pay half a grand.
Female? Black? LGBTQIA? You get a free ticket!
Seriously, how would they verify if you are gay?
It appears to me that it's easily exploitable.51 -
I GOT A PROPER DEV ROLE!!
The days of bemoaning the quality of devs on a product and logging tickets that never get addressed are coming to an end!
Edited: autocorrect changed it to "loving", somewhat optimistically7 -
Pet peeve:
Putting screen shots in Word documents, then attaching the doc to tickets.
Mucking forons.5 -
JuniorDev: <<moves bug ticket to 'done'>>
FullStackClown: Ah nice, let's see what they've written here as to what the problem was <<reads comment in ticket>>
JuniorDev's Comment: "👍"
FullStackClown: 🤦♂️16 -
While writing up this quarter's performance review, I re-read last quarter's goals, and found one my boss edited and added a minimum to: "Release more features that customers want and enjoy using, prioritized by product; minimum 4 product feature/bug tickets this quarter."
... they then proceeded to give me, not four+ product tickets, but: three security tickets (two of which are big projects), a frontend ticket that should have been assigned to the designer, and a slow query performance ticket -- on top of my existing security tickets from Q3.
How the fuck was I supposed to meet this requirement if I wasn't given any product tickets? What, finish the monster tickets in a week instead of a month or more each and beg for new product tickets from the product manager who refuses to even talk to me?
Fuck these people, seriously.8 -
Manager: Send me a MS Teams chat if you have any questions or updates, it's faster than email and you'll get quick feedback from me :) Let's get that feedback loop ROLLING!
Manager: *ignores my (multiple) requests for feedback on MS Teams for over a week.*
I just want to move my tickets into done :(5 -
Today I got a ticket.
Last comment:”It’s urgent.”
Scrolled down the tickets history. Opened 21st March 2020
I joined them company July 20203 -
I'm working with a customer named Clint.
I realize now that over numerous tickets I started mistyping his name... just every god damn time.
Guess what letter I left out?
Nice guy for not correcting me ... extra fast ticket response for him now.6 -
The sell: “become a designer, change the world”
The reality: “become a designer, create Jira tickets for devs to fix stuff you’ve noticed” -
I hardly use Windows, but had to book tickets using my friend's laptop who only had Windows.
So I switch on my mobile data, and the stupid shit just ate up all my data in updating Windows without even asking for permission 😣
Learnt my lesson20 -
Me: *Killing tickets like there's no tomorrow*
Others: Doing nothing.
Manager: Well, since you are closing tickets here are some from your coworkers.7 -
Fired because an metric they used was too small (accepted tickets). My problem was: everyone of the others took imidiatly the tickets, just to have them "in progress".5
-
Let me paint you a picture.
It's the day after code freeze. Code has been branched. It's time once again to verify tickets and run smoke check so we can begin our 3 days of blitz testing before we deploy.
As a team we all have roles to play in this process. Yet, every stinking release it is like pulling teeth to get everyone to take the initiative and verify tickets and run smoke check. Our principled engineer even reached his limit this morning and blew up on everyone.
When you are being paid good money to do a job, you need be an adult, be responsible, step up and do your job!2 -
Manager: What's your time estimate on that latest ticket?
Dev: It's literally written in the "time estimate" field on the ticket, even in standard human units like "hours", "minutes", and "seconds"
Manager: ...
Dev: ...9 -
This one crazy:
We made an app for our client to scan some parcels via barcode.
They just created a ticket, for complaining that it's hard to scan in the storage room, because it's so dark. They are like sometimes we need to use a torge to scan. Can you increase the contrast of the app or something to scan better in darker place.
Did not know what to answer, but my thoughts were like: why the fuck you don't put enough light in that room?! 🤔🤷🏽♂️6 -
customer: "hey, feature X is broken!"
me: *asks for details
customer, one week later: "feature X contains information about Y, that *must not* be"
me: *looks at code, at git-history, at related tickets
customer, one year ago: "hey, feature X *must* contain information about Y"
me, all the time: :-|4 -
Why do managers always want to fucking "discuss"? If you had literally a first-grader's education in basic electronics, you could define tasks and tickets by yourself and not have to fumble around all day and fuck it up,13
-
Screw the Chief Technology Clown role...
I'm now officially Chief Babysitting Clown...
Skills I can teach you include the following:
- How to read JIRA tickets
- How to write JIRA tickets
- How to check colleagues' calendars
- How to define requirements in English and not some sort of technologically challenged caveman language
- How NOT to do any programming (since I don't have time for that anymore)
And many, many more! Inquire within!4 -
when i was fired as an external contractor with half an hour notice, because i didn't process enough tickets. I didn't process many tickets because:
1. In the morning everyone grabs tickets just to stop the timer.
2. I worked on some complicated tasks that involved multiple third and fourth parties(not to forget an fucking dropping firewall)2 -
"I'm getting an error. It's just not working right."
Stupidest. Bug. Report. Ever.
Please stop wasting our time with tickets like this people, it only requires is to then spend more time just figuring out what the issue is.
🙄🔫4 -
You guys wanna know why I rage so much at the 🤡🤡🤡's I work with?
I shit you not, this is a ticket in our "to do" section of our Jira.
what even is ticket linking??!?!?
what even are tickets??!?!?!
or better yet.... what even the fuck is jira?!?!?! I've only been using it for over a year, give me some time to figure out how to use it!!!!!!
I don't know, maybe i'm the asshole. But at least I don't feel like a 🤡
7 -
Be me...
Coding and refactoring...
Very focused...
Until...
.
..
…
….
METALLICA COMING TO AUSTRALIA 🤘🤘🤘
….
..
..
.
Forgot what I was doing... But I know what I will be doing next week... GETTING THOSE VIP TICKETS 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘2 -
Started at a new employer few days ago. It all started with:
'To become familiar with our tech stack and projects we've assigned some tickets to you, 'some' of these are tickets others weren't able to finish'.
The tickets (12):
Status: stuck
Added: 4 months ago
Notes: 12 (mostly negative)
Assigned and unassigned to different people 8 times15 -
There’s a special place in hell for fuckwits who create tickets and don’t include the fucking error message.8
-
I swear, if I ever were to develop a support ticket system, I'd require credit card credentials for P1 tickets - "for covering potential costs to get the developer to the computer at this point in time". Let's see how many of your fucking tickets are Business critical after all!5
-
My tech lead keeps assigning me incident tickets in the company's worst legacy app because I solved some bug in it a while ago. I'm the only one who gets assigned these.
If this keeps going, I know for sure that I will be regarded as the designated developer for this application. Then I will be truly fucked.5 -
Boss told us to make a tickets app.
Tickets will have to_be_completed_by date
Devs in our team allowed that to be in the past. Because our manager consistently says he wants stuff done like yesterday!3 -
Off to the funeral of a family member of mine today. He was one of us, a developer for a cool little startup in London. I'd much rather be wrestling with bugs and support tickets today 😔5
-
Project Manager comments on all my on-going tickets "any updates?"
And the project manager gets awarded "most productive"
While the tickets I've been assigned can't be closed in just a day
smh4 -
sitting with friends and trying to book movie tickets online. the cinema simulator shows all good seats as booked. Me: "don't worry guys". open inspect element, changing the seat image from booked to available. now everybody think im hacker... :)5
-
Manager: (𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑡)
Title: Something something related to the dynamic display of a button on one of our screens in our UI
Description: Something something completely different related to how entities are filtered on a different screen
Dev: f*&$ing hell, do i have to give yet ANOTHER schooling in JIRA this week?!
I swear they're drunk every time they write tickets.7 -
Got a few Jira tickets reassigned to me because the dev who was supposed to work on them got stuck on another project. It's fine, that happens.
I open the tickets. No descriptions for all of them. No screenshots for those reported as bugs, nor any replication steps. No attached test cases or, well, ANY useful information.
I talk to our BA, he says that all information I need are in OTHER tickets on ANOTHER BOARD that business manages but I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO. Honestly, these shitfucks could've just done simple copy/paste. But nooooo...
So I reassign all the tickets back to their original reporters (business testers) with comments requesting more information.
It's been a week. Now I have no idea what to put in my time sheet.1 -
<...in the style of linkin park's in the end...>
I DOCUMENTED SO HARD, AND MADE SO MANY TICKETS!!!
BUT IN THE END, NOBODY REALLY READS THEM!!!
I HAD TO DEV!!! AND BUILD IT ALL!!!
BUT IN THE END, IT FEELS LIKE I'M TALKING TO A BRICK WALL!!!!
rhymes are lazy / nonexistent, I know, but my rage is superseding my ability to rhyme right now.3 -
In order to reduce support costs, manager instructed his team to remove all logging/reporting of errors in the company’s CRM application.
Team’s support tickets went down 80%, manager received an award for his efforts, but mysteriously, DBA/support workload increased, bad/missing data,
increased support tickets in other areas of the business (shipping, etc. that relied on correct data from the CRM) and other side-affectual behavior.
Even after pointing this out this correlation, showing before/after code, no one believed the two were related and I was accused of not being a ‘team player’.
“You and the other teams need to learn from his example!”. As ‘punishment’ was I was moved to the team managing the CRM application.1 -
Let's say you have a MySQL database table for jobs. Each job has 1 associated ticket. You want to keep track if the ticket is closed or not. Every sane person creates jobs table, tickets table, keeps bool value for ticket state and relationship between them.
But because our database is designed by a half braindead amoeba, we have one table only, so each job has to be updated individually with a new ticket number and its state. Beacuse it sooo much faster to update (daily!) 13k jobs than just 100 tickets.
As a bonus - if the ticked is closed, the column "ticket_closed" is "No", if it's still open the value is "FALSE". Yes, both as varchar/strings.7 -
> barges in
> slams massive unintelligible PR on the table
> fixes a bunch of tickets all at once
> won't explain how tf it works, it just does
> refuses to elaborate further
> leaves
9 -
So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".
Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.
Can comeone please fire this guy?1 -
Clients be like, why the fuck should I bother to check last commits related to tickets when I can just bother the developer when he's about to sleep...
7 -
Meetings, responding to emails, handling urgent tickets, etc. If I could just get four uninterrupted hours of coding in a day, I'd be happy. But I'm basically in meetings all morning and usually have at least 1 more in the middle of the afternoon.2
-
Just startup stories:
Our backlog of tasks and bugs has officially reached 100+ tickets, all for me, the single software engineer at our "tech" company.
Huh, imagine that.3 -
When you get a ticket saying that a user can't see a record so the system must be broken, then after an hour of looking into it; said record never existed... Please stop wasting my time -_-
-
It's sprint meeting day! Time to grab some coffee because it's going to be 5 hours of PMs ranting about tickets and progress. Yay!
-
Teammember left. I did his three tickets yesterday. Before that I created and applied new rescue procedure for broken deploys on production and deployed the app manually. Took me about 6 hours to do this right, find the cause, and solve it, and document what I did. After that my teamleader bought me a launch :)
It wasn't his, my former teammate responsibility to bring back prd to life, it was me being good and engaged employee. His tickets, on the other hand, were his duties. Took me one hour to code them. He was working on them for two weeks. I can't wait for the performance review, im definitely going to ask for a nice rise :)1 -
Joined a new team at work 6 months ago. Immediately set upon by a useless PO who was somehow set in her ways while still being around 30 years old. Absolutely refused to change the broken team dynamic or processes in any way whatsoever. Made terrible tickets, never did refinement on tickets so they were always missing stuff and constantly blocked. Generally unlikeable and difficult to work with, incompetent at her job and resolutely refused to change literally anything to make the team function better.
She finally leaves after 6 months and the team dynamic changes immediately. Suddenly we are improving our processes, getting stakeholder input, refining tickets, taking reasonable amounts of work in a sprint. We have discussions without her butting in and getting frustrated when you bring up legitimate concerns. No longer do you have to tiptoe around and appease her ego if you want to point out the obvious flaws in the work she drew up or even just examine it from a technical perspective.
It's insane how much things can improve once you shed the dead weight of people that are just determined to be difficult and won't budge an inch to change their ways. Good riddance.4 -
Another day, another shitty set of JIRA tickets.
In this week's edition, we run into an issue you'd think is a meme, something you couldn't even make up: three tickets with IDENTICAL titles, but miraculously, they actually refer to three DIFFERENT tasks! (Also comical, they're not bugs, they're tasks, but mouth breathers don't really know the difference, and at this point I just don't have the energy to attempt to explain what could be explained to elementary school children.)
I present a rare look into our national archives!
This document features two exhibits:
Exhibit A: product owner's original ticket titles
Exhibit B: translated-into-competency-because-i'm-not-mentally-deficient ticket titles
Just more proof that 'product owners' don't own shit, the devs are the real ones who actually know what is going on.
I mean just LOOK at Exhibit A's titles. As a big smart manager, do you write those tickets, smile, and say to yourself "Ah, yep, that's very clear, I'll definitely remember what each of these mean literally 5 seconds from now!"
Is asking for literally 30 seconds more of thought too much to ask for? Apparently.
Just kill me
Happy friday ☠️
7 -
"Even if youre sick, you should have update your Tickets".
I did inform them that I'll be absent. I literally mean that I don't have to work for that. I don't even get to pay while updating my tickets.1 -
I just love ultra high priority tickets that have been in the backlog for literal years.
So logical.
So amazing.
So 🤡-like.
Happy Friday!4 -
> Get told my teams products don't work
> I say file a ticket so we know and can assist
> No tickets filed after 4 weeks,
> Team still complains my teams products don't work
Who else has mindless complainers? -
To those able to join us in the Netherlands:
So you want some devrant goodies? We are having a (IMO) cool event soon.
"Collab - Digital Agency meets Cloud Provider"
We will go into various topics regarding; automation, CI, cloud, experiences and maybe a few things about clusters / kubernetes.
Everyone is happy to join us for 2 talks, beers (and maybe pizza!).
Last but not least we are able to give a way various goodies including stuff from DevRant ;)
You can order the free tickets at https://eventbrite.co.uk/e/...
I hope to see some devrant people there and make sure to hit me up if you will attend!
ps. if you have question, just ask away!12 -
Getting "bug" tickets from customers complaining about EXACTLY WHAT I DESCRIBED WOULD HAPPEN. THATS NOT A F&)$*(%$(*# BUG, THATS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD WHAT I WROTE IN THE TICKET LAST WEEK YOU F&#*(@#$() NEANDERTHAL PIECE OF SH$%*(#(*)!!! WE AGREED ON THIS EXACT BUSINESS PROCESS WEEKS AGO. DO YOU EVEN READ THE WORDS THAT I WRITE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA5
-
The amount of times I have read "I can't summit the application" in user issue tickets has prompted me to make this
4 -
I usually work in a two person team on a hybrid application we are developing, using AngularJS and node.
This normally works okay, because he handles the back end (he's been on the project since January last year, I joined in August as a placement student), and I handle the front end.
However, due to Christmas holidays and such, he's ended up taking an entire month off, and won't be back until the end of January.
I've dabbled in back end before, some routes and that for SQL queries, but nothing serious.
Last Tuesday our core service for the application that needs to be updated in real time broke and pissed off the API provider because we were hammering them with requests.
My first day on back end and this happened. I didn't really know what to do, and had to call my teammate to ask what to do. I essentially just restarted things, and left them as is, until I could find a solution.
From there, I had to mock the operation of the service (which is a complex enough beast) to figure out the problem, and find a fix. Our app more or less hinges on this service, so if it messes up, it's the end times.
All of this while flying on what I've interpreted because the guy that's on holidays was the only guy that knows more about this project than I do.
To make things worse, the clients are being very particular because they're waiting on investments and don't have money to pay our company. So, if they're paying for 5 days work, they're going to put in 5 days of project development. The problem is that their interpretation of 5 days of project development has not changed from when there were two people on this project.
There are 40 tickets in this sprint (ends Friday) and 35 of them are assigned to me. Granted, not all of those take a day to do, but estimates don't mean anything, I guess.
Ganbarimasu.2 -
I restore retro arcade machines because I miss the day when the game actually mattered and it wasn't all about the tickets3
-
Saw new issue on jira. When look, they are like my computer is slow or I cannot any buttons in Excel.
For fuck sake, don't send stupid tickets, we already got stupid projects the company took from the others without consulting to the IT team.
There are about 600 tickets every month and most of them are issue because of their stupidity not the software (they never read the error message). And no we are not IT support, go ask those ppl for your computer issue.1 -
Our QA team love writing really awkward bug tickets
No reproductions steps
and every time i see one appear all i can think of is this
1 -
You may always feel behind. You aren’t alone. Find something you enjoy within coding. Don’t be a hero and pick all the tickets. Pick what you can achieve. Pick a long-term ticket that you can call yours and own it and learn from it.
BE KIND YO YOURSELF.2 -
For about 1.5 years on and off, we've been developing a system to rate tickets/requests sent to our team. We wrote it in Angular, and it turned into this feature-rich gorgeous application with custom-built graphical statistic tracking, in-app social networking capabilities, robust user profiles, etc.
Eventually, we no longer had time to work on it along with all the other applications we're developing. So we passed ownership of the app over to a couple of other developers on our team. You'd think that they'd just work off what we already built and keep the robust environment we created for them. But nope, instead of keeping everything we already built, they scrapped it all and started from scratch using React instead of Angular, and removed all of those robust features and turned the app into a shell of its former self. No more statistic tracking, no more social networking capabilities, no more fancy user profiles. Just a single page with a number representing how many "Good" tickets you've sent to us, and how many "Bad" tickets you've sent.
1.5 years and hundreds of hours worth of work, all gone and replaced with the most rudimentary basic React app ever.2 -
So I was just informed I have 40 tickets with my name on them. No big deal normally except that I had no idea and was scheduling based on the fact that I knew I had 25 on my plate and most of them were OBE. How did I find this out you ask? Well rather than updating the tickets in our ticket tracking system, my PM updated a spreadsheet that is out in no man's land. So it looks like I have been doing no work for the last 3 months when in reality I have been busting my ass to get shut done and fixed. Why even have a ticket tracking system?
-
The shitty trainticket-app doesn't sell me any tickets. Who the fuck coded this crap. I really tried hard to pay for a fucking ticket...2
-
What are your thoughts on working for a company that give their devs jira tickets that don't have any descriptions? I work for a big organisation (It's actually in the top 3 biggest companies in the country I live in) and I work in a team that has quite possibly the worst agile practice I've ever seen. We get tickets without any descriptions at all. The worst bit is then we get pressure from project management for not delivering things on time. Do they actually realise how difficult it is to deliver something without any business requirements? I have to have a million meetings before I even know wtf the ticket is about. It's incredibly annoying.13
-
I'm working on my tickets for Monday on a Saturday so that I can finish my tickets for Tuesday on Monday....
I need a hobby.2 -
It's not like we needed this information board anyway, to help us monitor our servers, tickets and calendar.
Thats some microsoft quality!
7 -
> Be me
> Be the new dev at the company.
> "I'll take it easy in the first few sprints and pick the easy tickets that dont seem to have any creeping in them"
> Pick the worst tickets there are and only find out they're a pain in the ass afterwards
> The whole sprint is full of these tickets, we're essentially refactoring the codebase.5 -
I get back from Christmas vacation. I read all the unread emails and team chats, then go to work on my assigned tickets. As far as I can tell, those tickets are all I need to work on.
Then my boss snaps at me during our team catchup that I'm supposed to be working on a different set of tickets. Which were not visible on the board. Which were not assigned to me. Which nobody on the fucking team bothered to update me on. Of course if I point those out it'll just be a pain to deal with (especially since my boss doesn't seem to have my back, unless he needs something).
I thought my vacation would help me re-energize and get motivated again for this job, but coming back I'm reminded how unhappy I am now here. I've started applying elsewhere, but I don't know if I can continue to put up with this bullshit until I find a new employer.
Any tips or advice from folks who've felt unhappy in their job in the last year?5 -
Sometimes getting tickets from the clients feels like a Sherlock Holmes adventure. Figuring out what the hell they meant, tracking down resources that should be included in the ticket, so much fun. I need to buy a pipe and a spyglass.6
-
Testers who find an issue that prevents execution of an early step common to many scenarios, who then dutifully create 150 tickets to fail each scenario individually, crowing on about how many issues they've found1
-
That moment when agile means "I will sneak in new feature requirements in with your bug tickets even though our sprint is supposed to be only stabilization". Thanks PM Lord.
-
When youre hired as a programmer and you miss programming. you code at home Because your work wont let you. Too many documents to create, too many tickets(IT operations) to create and too many phone calls(follow up on IT operations).
It feels like im wasting my days on a job that i dont care. Thank God for self projects.2 -
Own before you do it.
Create user stories, fill tickets, draw diagrams, send approval mails, fill docs, write in the company blog and then some, before you even think about writing a line of code.2 -
when your project manager makes you redo the same tickets over and over because she keeps messing up her usability tests
-
Well, our board dedicated to On call has so many tickets that given the rate our team is going, it'll take 30+ years to finish them all.
Oh and it keeps growing -
Love it when PM/business adds a bunch of extra tickets on the last week of a 3 week spring.
Or
I love it when business sends you a requirement, you build it, then they add more requirements that contradict the original requirements1 -
If you're filling a ticket on a team, make sure it includes EVERYTHING that is needed to complete the ticket so anyone on your team can complete it, not just the people with institutional knowledge.4
-
Today I learnt that I'm much more productive if I get a constant loop of feedback on my tickets and stuff. Feels better that way.
Edit: I'm working with a new coworker from QA and she's more responsive than the others. I get my feedback fast and timely and this makes it way easier to work7 -
Get a ticket for a low priority bug, reported internally. Fix the issue mentioned in the bug.
Moves to QA environment, the original bug reporter tests and *passes* the ticket.
Moves to Staging environment, same exact individual then *fails* the testing. Cites totally new/unrelated changes that need to be made.
Apparently our the workflow is -
Code->QA->Staging->Requirements
Makes sense! :)1 -
So... I'm a DevOps engineer and I received an email from boss today wanting me to do "tech Ops" for next few months, basically tech support because they are having a shortage and too much tickets that they can't handle. *Palmface*7
-
I may have watched too much Westworld; I'm naming JIRA tickets with "Analysis - what caused the failure..."2
-
Talking about Deutsche Bahn ticket buying not working, but the NS sends me emails with non-functional buttons to press in order to get my ticket. What a train wreck1
-
to everyone who complains about poor methodoly usage:
I had a solo ptoject. I was told to do scrum. I had dailies.. with my PM. we were moving JIRA tickets around. -
"you need to check the tickets as well as ERP tasks everyday."
Dafuq? Aren't I doing that? And also, I'm busy working on other tasks, and he just keeps giving me more, and there's no way I can just simply fix all of them without enough time. 😠1 -
I really resent people who reduce the occupation to tickets. Our world is just tickets, tickets all the way down.
"well the ticket just says this, but that's vague, so what should I do?"
You either ask for clarification, or you get creative with the blank canvas you were handed.
"well that edge case wasn't called out in the ticket's specs"
this is _why_ we do TDD - to design our code to be able to function as expected for ALL cases
"is there a ticket to refactor that?"
what?! no, it's your job to always leave code better than when you found it (within scope/reason of course)
FFS we are not hired to be code monkeys or glorified typists. There should be joy that comes from getting to be more clever than the average bear and to solve problems and improve things with your code and logic.
shit bums me out.7 -
My client installed a new proxy that severely blocks out most of their own intranet, including their IT service desk. We can't raise tickets to let them know and their email just redirects us to their service desk. Fuck me these guys are idiots.
-
Why they are keep assigning tasks (new features as minor fix) till release date. And want me to complete it a week before release date.
HOW?2 -
Today I went ALL IN
And also brought 3 lotto tickets
I just want financial freedom but the bills are just do expensive....
11 -
Story Time: About Priorities and Sales
So at this point I'm working tech support for a company that makes some super cool networking equipment, think big data / data centers and such.
This company had grown at a good pace but the the support team had not (thus is the way for all tech support evetually). So I get a call from a frantic sales guy:
Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P2 ticket!!!"
Me: "Well the ticket came in 30 minutes ago, I emailed them some questions, but just so you know I have 8 P2 tickets, and 4 P1 tickets.... so it will be a while."
Sales: "OMG! Make my customer's ticket a P1!!"
Me: "Sure."
-call ends-
-30 minutes passes-
-sales calls again-
Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P1 ticket!!!"
Me: "Well I haven't gotten to them yet... just so you know I have 7 P2 tickets, and 5 P1 tickets.... "
Sales "ARGH!"
ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ1 -
Just keep getting the dumbest tickets from a client as a Frontend dev.
I told them I am a backend and even my contract says backend but I made the mistake to help them with some themes.
So fucking ready to take other interviews where I don't have to deal with bullshit colors and fonts anymore.2 -
Go assign a super simple ticket to your "product owner" or "manager" or whoever the hell claims they "work so hard" and "have the vision" or whatever blah blah blah when in reality YOU'RE the one working 12 hour days, completing the features used by THOUSANDS.
Just try it. They'll never complete it. I guarantee it. Here I am looking at one that is three weeks old asking to update the f&*(@#$ credit card credentials for a simple log service to be reactivated.
So sick of this backward world where us devs never get any credit.
Who wants to start a software union with me?2 -
Ticket waiting for code review for days. I have to rename methods.
Tickets goes again to code review. Waiting there again for days. Oops! there is something the code reviewer didn't see before!
Ticket goes to code review again, waiting for days there.
Boss comes to me telling it takes me too long to close tickets. -
At my last work place I wanted to visit a Conference for a long time but my boss never even was interested in at least helping me with the price of the tickets.
Now at my new job 2 Weeks in and I already got tickets for the w-jax in Munich <3
I'm soooooo exited :D -
I leave work 30 minutes early cause I don't feel goid... In return I have never gotten so many support tickets in my drive home
-
RANT
SO FKING BORED. ALL TICKETS ARE CLOSED, NOTHING IN TRELLO. SITTING IDLE IS THE FUCKING DIFFICULT THING TO DO. IF I WILL NOT GET AN ISSUE ASSIGNED TO ME SOON THEN THERE WILL BE BLOOD SHED EVERYWHERE.9 -
Product manager keeps fucking with my Jira board, changing names of tickets that he's not even the reporter of and none of his names make any sense. I keep thinking my tickets have disappeared. He doesn't understand how Jira works and confuses the shit out of me.4
-
> be me
> complete tickets overnight
> submit for review
> takes 2 days to review
> still no word
> more tickets raised with incomplete information
> ???
> profit5 -
A large pool of application instances' is writing logs to the same physical file. No way to distinguish which instance wrote which line.
Welcome to hell
We're being asked questions. We're replying that we cannot help unless logging is fixed. Noone's bothering to fix this mess and instead returns tickets with requests to investigate more.
F.U.N
/s3 -
Why are we even using JIRA?
It's clear from the behavior of the rest of my team that nobody ever has it open, looks at it, or thinks about any tasks that would improve the product other than sputtering out the occasional "mArKeTiNg HyPe" with incomplete horrible tickets that are at best barely decipherable.
Honestly, we can save the $50 a month and I'll just use my own personal trello board, the outcome would be the same.
I mean my life is a joke: we had to have a near hour-long google hangouts for literally dragging and dropping the 'demo/review' tickets to 'done' because my colleagues are so incompetent they can't read the tickets and realize which tickets HAVE LITERALLY ALREADY BEEN SHIPPED TO PRODUCTION WEEKS AGO.9 -
After my second 12 hour day this week working on 4 little Mantis tickets that circled around for like 5 times...
Fuck computers.
Fuck technology.
SUCK MY DICK.
Have a nice evening everyone.1 -
Sometimes I start to wonder, if people even read what I answer them in tickets... Why bother when you can just be above that all and just repeat your previous points?
When working somewhere, with destinct departments, its understandable that you send them a ticket, they evaluate that and you can figure something out together. The issue arrises, when the other person across the ticket does not seem to wanna acknowledge the information you provide.
I want a simple automation in Jira with webhooks, why is it so hard to read the docs I send and acknowledge it. It seems like they try to ignore what I am saying and just keep their once formed opinion.
It just makes me mad, when they don't even wanna talk about it in person/via a Meeting3 -
I just took the "lead" over a small internal Projekt. I can not believe what they have done.
They somehow managed to use dependencies that are not managed by maven.
They 'used' the entire apache-commons library just to create empty InputStreams once!
And they merged unfinished tickets to the development branch which dont even work!
Did I mention that they all left the project in the middle of the sprint without saying a word and even without finishing their tickets...?
How... Why....4 -
My lead: Here's an epic to remove a framework from all our projects. I want you to write every planning step in a document before you make any tickets or do any work.
Me: Okay cool. Before I do that, I'm just gonna finish the removal from the project we're 99% done with so we can remove that from the planning stages. I already did it locally with no issues so we know it's a 1 pointer. That takes us from two dependency graphs down to one which will help immensely in planning.
Lead: No. Don't make any tickets, this is a spike. Just put it in the document so management will know how long we expect the whole thing to take. And make sure you pull in this engineer from a completely different team who has his own tickets and doesn't even know I'm doing this. Make sure you include him on everything.4 -
I would like to meet all of you at the chaos communication congress. Who is onboard?
https://events.ccc.de/2017/10/...13 -
Mentoring someone in iOS from scratch, then teaching him how to maintain 3 different apps. He is able to maintain them without me now which is testament to how well I taught him, but it was challenging. Especially since I had to simultaneously work on other tickets and live prod issues.1
-
for my job I need to know,
Programming, C#, Optimization, Multithreading and Async code, Working certain tools, Reading difficult written code, Understanding, Physics, Networking, Rendering, Codeloops, Memory management, Profiling tools, Being able to make Jira tickets and read Jira tickets. Understanding source control branching, merging, push and pull. bug fixing.
And I write almost 1 line of code a week on average..
I'm a programmer.2 -
Waiting 3 min for our deployment pipeline's "build step" to finish downloading all 1.08GB of source code because business won't prioritise tech led tickets (to use shallow cloning in this case) 😞
Feeling so apathetic rn 😝6 -
A colleague went on vacation, as the lead mobile engineer I had to cover his work. Switching between iOS dev and Android dev usually is fun. Integrated and deployed a dozen tickets for each platform within 12hrs.
-
Project managers moved all the tickets around and then got mad that we couldn't find them to log our time.
Mass mutiny about logging time in general and expected dev hours per week.
They returned the tickets to the old system at least -
My manager always tell that we're less process oriented and self sufficient.
Later on, I understand what that means
- Poorly written JIRA tickets
- JIRA tickets with only title, rest for you to fill
- Two teams did same task, client side team pushing their change directly on master, while mine still waiting on code review will eventually get rejected
- Client writing raw SQL in ORM framework instead of using any single feature of ORM.4 -
When your about to start development on some tickets you've been wanting to finish, and then MS SQL management studio poops out and you have to spend the entire day re-installing/fixing your SQL DB's... Oh and now behind schedule1
-
No wonder the stock market is going up.... Commissions used to be $7, then $5, now $0.
Now everyone can trade... And appreciate since buying and selling one cost a few cents at most.... Even cheaper than lotto tickets with better odds...5 -
I get plenty of sleep and wake up to my manager talking about escalating tickets. I'm on support this week and my queue was empty yesterday, but there were several new "urgent" requests that never got assigned to me.
Wait, so I'm responsible to assigning tickets to myself now? Our support is so shitty now. Our good document got hacked to pieces and now I can't find anything, and the customer support people are constantly bitching if things aren't done right now for tickets I was assigned while I was asleep.1 -
!rant
In the past 2 days I worked a lot, now I slept 12 hours straight. I don't have any tickets left, and the manager told me to have fun. I haven't felt such freedom in a while.
(The project will be late by a year in February, so until now I always had at least 2 urgent tickets related to topics that I've never heard of before.)1 -
We often give access to a product owner from the customer on our Jira to keep up a good communication and everyone stays up to date as everything is on the board and not hidden in emails or paper notes on the desk of the guy that is on vacation.
So far, so good
Our customers really like this as they can comment on tickets and they are integrated in the workflow because they can push into the backlog and can review finished tasks.
It is just getting better for everyone so where is the rant?
One project is just a dump of shitty mixed content tickets. But how? They look really neat. There are tickets like "fixes from meeting 20th of may" which are initially well structured with approximately 4 subtle changes to the UI and some explanation and screenshots.
PM says: Good ticket. There you go ticket, into the customer review loop of doom.
20 comments and 13 status changes later. Point 43 from comment 17 is referenced in comment 20 to keep on hold as a third party needs to give feedback, point 7 is still not solved correctly as dev 2 was not aware that it was already discussed and changed in the ticket "Call from 25th of may" where in addition the resolution of points 5-12 were requested with an additional excel file to import.
By now we have the 8th of august and literally 17 of these kind of tickets.
I guess we need to improve the workflow and request a new product owner. But this far I just table flip everytime I get one of these tickets assigned.2 -
Universal rule of opening tickets
Me: *opens ticket on basically ANY ticketing system EVER* (could be internal, from the customer, some random bug online, anything...).
Me: writes detailed explanation of issue, because I know working on tickets is hard. Of course I include that I tried steps A, B, C, and that I haven't been able to do D because of reasons.
Ticket derp: Comments...
"Hey, have you already tried A, B, C? Also you should totally do D first."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I TAKE TIME OUT OF MY FUCKING DAY TO WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN AND EVEN FORMAT IT NICELY, JUST TO MAKE YOUR MISERABLE LIFE EASIER, AND YOU DON'T EVEN READ IT YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE BALLSACK!? FUCK OFF!1 -
Using Java for the first time for a homework assignment in uni, everything ran properly the first time.
Gonna go buy some lottery tickets.5 -
Last week I asked my manager a piggy bank where other employees could put money every time they open a ticket or make a call for something that is unnecessary, not concerning us or poorly described.
I am still waiting…3 -
Not a true dev rant but still thought I'd share:
Systems team installed new software product I've been asked to setup and test. Within 15 minutes of getting into the software I've already had to open two support tickets with the vendor. Fast forward two hours and I'm putting in a third support ticket. SMH.2 -
Covered on the helpdesk at my new job yesterday. The only tickets that came in were for me anyways so all I learned is that the back room gets pretty cold.
-
So a ticketmaster security breach.
If you bought tickets using ticketmaster between September-2017 and June-2018 beware. Globally.
https://zdnet.com/article/... -
At my company we have a rule that ticket estimates can only be pointed using numbers from the fibonacci series. So 4 point tickets are not allowed!
We’re also discouraged from giving an estimate larger than 5, and told that tickets need to be broken down into smaller tickets if we think it’s more than a 5.
Also, ticket estimates must include the full amount of time for dev, QA, AND deploy. Given how hard it is to work with our tech stack, few tasks actually fit.
All of this may sound fine in principle, but in practice it’s extremely frustrating. I’ve protested a few times but I’ve been told I’m outvoted and nobody wants to reconsider the decision that was made sometime in the distant past. I was also told that “most other companies do it this way”, so therefore we have to as well.
This is the first company I’ve ever worked at which had this stupid rule. Is it this way at your company? Is this a NorCal tech company thing? I’ve worked at several companies outside of the SV bubble, and never encountered this.6 -
Each day, I read the vast swath of ticket hell hole that is our JIRA.
I read tickets that are written by people with not just 0, but an undefined understanding of technology...
I read tickets that are technically impossible due to this 0 understanding...
And finally, I laugh in bitterness seeing the time estimates stack up to months and months worth of work for which the managers expect to be done in 2-3 weeks 😂3 -
returning from 2 weeks of PTO, the haiku
what was I doing?
*Looks through tickets in jira*
gives up. plays halo. -
Not dev related but got offered to work at the Champions league final.
The tickets sold out within ten minutes and there's me making money!3 -
I love it when your team lead complains that you aren't getting through your tickets fast enough, but then you are blocked because his super fragile integration tests are on the fritz and the build is broken for days. Sure I could fly through my tickets if I didn't have to fix everyone else's shiz along the way!
2 -
Soo... me and my best friend decided to go literally "wherever" by plane for as cheap as we can (<50€ per person for a return ticket) and I am looking for a service that offers a free API to search for plane tickets as it would make my and her life much easier if I could just write a program, let it run on my Raspberry Pi and make it send me an email whenever it finds some cheap tickets. I noticed that Google lets you search for cheap plane tickets, but is there an API (even unofficial) that I could use?1
-
Fuck you juniors for not responding to my DM's asking if you downloaded the app for the conference I got you tickets to! Going to make some gitlab contraints so you can no longer push your shitty ass code!
WTF!1 -
So many open tickets and they keep becoming more and more. In the end they will never be worked on, as there's always smth more important, although they are reprioritized on fixed schedules. They will eventually be discarded because they were forgotten and the ticket was already done, just by a ticket with similar naming or similar intent.
How would you solve this? Can this be solved?2 -
Support Ticket:
"OMG I DON"T SEE THE NEW THING YOU SAID WAS THERE!?!?!!? OH GAWD WHY WHY WHY!!!!"
setTimeout(fuckingActuallyLookThisTime(), 3600000)
"Oh never mind I found it."
God damn people, put some minimal effort in before you fire up tickets and emails or whatever.2 -
During the past week, I've lost so much focus. It's difficult to keep pushing myself to care about stuff at work. I try to get some minimal tickets done and a wiki page out, but it's wearing on me.1
-
"Just let me know when you're done (today) with that handful of JIRA tickets that are not reproducible, have no description, and include no error information. We need to get them into the next release."
Yeah. Yeah, I'll let you know real soon. -
Just learnt that some people in the access admin team intentionally back log their tickets just to tell people how busy they are.
But most request you raise in their queue doesn't get resolved unless you show up at their desks.2 -
Anyone in the Seattle area like to play escape rooms? I develop for an escape room company downtown and I can discount some tickets if anyone is interested.
Also does anyone have any suggestions for other escape rooms in the Seattle and Vancouver areas?3 -
Daily life on this project: tickets are blocked by test env. Fucking impressive server ops team we have here, took a month to add 1 test user.
-
When you get tickets assigned to you, does it have all the requirements & acceptance criteria? I don't, and it's seriously difficult to know when you've finished a piece for work3
-
So 90% of the Tech Support team is off today. So I decided to jump in to help the guys out:
Me: *solves issue
(one less ticket to solve)
Reporter: "thank you for your help!"
(re-opens the ticket)
Me: *recloses the ticket
Reporter: "thanks again"
(Reopens ticket)
Me: smashes head into desk
How am I supposed to get tickets solved when most of the open tickets are "thank you's"! -
2nd week on a new job, already been assigned smaller Jira tickets to work on.
But it takes me awhile to figure it out and close the ticket, coz it’s React and I’m completely new to it and I feel I have no idea what I’m doing.
Imposter syndrome hitting hard3 -
I am introducing the Thunderdome policy:
2 Tickets enter 1 Ticket leaves. (Aka 1 Ticket gets worked on the other one gets deleted.) -
script closing error-opened tickets from a customer using a tool which just repeatedly clicks on the same pixels over and over again... Error chance of around 50% if other windows open or the ticket window is resized a bit. There was a pretty high risk a real ticket a auto-closed with custoner-information by error...
Everything went well. About 1k tickets were closed by the script while I sat there and looked if it really clicks the right spots. -
You might think that getting your work done super fast is a good idea but it's really not. It takes QA awhile to test your tickets and give feedback. If you clear your sprint board, PMs will add more assignments... Then on top of that extra work, QA will give you feedback from your previous work. You now will be super stressed to get all of this done by the end of the sprint.
It is best to take your time and get it right the first time... I've also learned to make a buffer... which is tickets in my queue I've already completed but did not say I've competed yet. This way I can take extra time on tickets that need TLC and the PM team won't surprise you with backlog tickets. -
if you are a good developer, been dispensable in a project is like quicksand: the more you try not to be, more important you become ... and you die choked by Jira tickets and anger
-
2X Tickets solved by rebooting the server after .Net Installation.
Client Default answer to: "Did you turn it off and on again?"
Always silence until you force the reboot after an server check and analysis.2 -
Can anyone else here do tomorrows tickets in your head in its entirety while you are showering?
All I have left to do tomorrow is right the code.2 -
when you gotta do front end tickets but the mockups you received to implement aren't finalized
fml3 -
I had fever for 2 days and finally after resolving my assigned issues/tickets yesterday, I called my PM for a MC today - my fever is still quite bad.
My name was still called a few time in group chats asking for updates, by the same PM, as if I am working from home. -
[semi-rant, kinda-story]
Day two: Managed to persuade IntelliJ IDEA into, uh, functioning.
Although it still does funky stuff like trying to force JDK v6 for bytecode compiled from Kotlin (the project's not even legacy spaghetti and JDK v6 isn't even installed).
Still had a few problems while setting up the rest of the local dev environment of the project I'm assigned to (which has been caused by documentation accidentally being followed in the wrong order, which I updated in turn, in order to prevent other people from doing the same mistake), but now I can finally work on tickets!
I love that not all tickets are marked as urgent or important, only a few!
Now the fun begins 😎2 -
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, last very fucking minute change requests, We're about to go to staging in less than 24 hours and now tickets are getting updates with
- Ohh add this title
- Oh make this configurable
blah blah
I think I'm gonna spend the night in the office -
System Engineer who is adhoc scrummaster got all pissy when us devs did not transition their jira tickets when they merged with develop.
Jesus christ take five minutes, google it and figure out how to do it automatically and while you are add it add the fucking reviewers!
It’s a pain to do it each time!!!!
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!’1 -
Just got my Maker Fair NYC tickets. Me, My Brother, My Nephew and my Daughter. Gonna be a blast. Just a little disappointed that Raspberry Pi will not be having a booth this year.
We won’t be hard to spot, we will be the group of nerdy looking people... lol ... if that narrows it down for you.2 -
When your about to go on vacation and the day before your PM decides it's the time to ask if a bunch of never before talked about complex features have been implemented in your application... I don't know are there tickets for them or how about documentation? No? Then No.
-
Today I swallowed my prestige and fixed three tickets with ugly solutions instead of going for the underlying mess. I don't know how I feel about it.3
-
Recently my work is just making designs for upcoming features / reworks that will probably take months to even start developing. I mentioned a few weeks ago again that I rather write code and now this sprint, it is 100% design tickets :(1
-
If a developer was having a slump (unable to close tickets, find solutions, get mind to work)
What could they possibly do to fix it?6 -
Fuck ticketing systems man.. jumped from a good job that i previously thought was going to be a deadend and jobhopped to a new one with a significant salary increase. Problem is that The stress levels increased 5x, and there’s significant rush to complete tasks that have sub optimal descriptions to put it nicely. The problem with that is that the lead doesn’t have enough time to properly write them and catching him during work hours for him to explain them is sometimes impossible. Sitting in limbo with 4-5 tickets open, all of them with high priority and stresing the fuck out.7
-
My first job was partially support oriented. Had to work in shifts and just close issue tickets. Learnt Python, automated shit, only to quit it later for a better job :)
-
My team lead wants all tickets reviewed but it takes them forever to review them. The 2 juniors (incl. me) have now 6 tickets in review each.
"Scrum master" (if we can call it that) assigns all tickets upon creation. There are currently no unassigned tickets left in the backlog that I can start with. -
Is it unreasonable to refuse the tickets and to demand that the dev who came up with the God awful solution should make it work?1
-
We're spending more time shipping dud code to close tickets from our biggest client than we are actually working on the next release.
-
When you have no more tickets on your plate for a sprint, do you usually ask for more tickets, or do you wait to get assigned more tickets?
I'm the new guy, and don't want to work too fast, but also don't want to work too slow.5 -
so the new QA guy just raised 8 new tickets all of which are UI related
full stop is missing
buttons are slightly misaligned
need to add a space in between
etc
all these things can be fixed over a 5 minute call, but noooo he took screenshots, created report, created 8 separate jira tickets with the steps to reproduce and attached screenshots and sent the testing report to all the managers
is this normal in big companies? i feel like it's grossly inefficient and unnecessary
I work in a 20 person startup, the previous qa guy used to call me up directly and explains the issues, he only creates tickets for the things which couldn't be fixed in an hour, I usually fix most those things in under an hour and he provides sign off
9 -
Hey 10 new tickets for me today. Hey all 10 are Backend. I feel like i know sh*t. Let's just not do this and be bored instead.
-
*last week, sprint retrospect meeting*
TL : "So next is dotenv . Hey dotenv, tell us what went well in the sprint, what went wrong and what could be improved"
le dotenv: "so all went good for me. i had just 5 tickets and i was able to complete them on time. i am grateful for team to provide support when needed in those tasks. no areas for improvement or wrong from my side"
*next sprint*
TL : "So dotenv, you have these 7 tickets with 3 being p0 priority. you also have 2 releases in addition to these tickets. also, since your senior is going to Malaysia for a nice fucking week, here is his additional 5 tickets with 3 p0 priority and 2 releases :)"
me : 🥲
----
I really need to push up my blame game :/2 -
Anyone here uses scaleway VPS?
The tickets I raised got deleted without any proper resolution. And that is shady AF. The tickets were attended by some customer support guy and he had told he would call to verify. But that never happened.
And now all the tickets I raised has disappeared.
I can't activate my account because phone verification is not possible since the code they never arrives3 -
Manager complaining about why things were done in a 'different' (not the manager's) way.
If you bloody define your tickets better, this shouldn't have happened right!?
I wouldn't have to keep chasing you for details EVERY SINGLE F-ING TIME and I probably wouldn't have to redo and undo the same sh*t 4, 5 times2 -
I consistently get help tickets that don’t involve program errors. It’s just “This data that was input is incorrect. Fix it.” And I’m still wondering why my company doesn’t properly train the actual help desk people to deal with this... why am I fixing data input issues. I went to school for this goddammit.. 😂😂🤬🤬2
-
My first production support release is next week and its from midnight till 5am and be at work at 8:00am. If something goes wrong with any of the other developers from our team goes wrong I have to figure it out. And this image is exactly how I picture it goes, if any tickets fail. (🤘🏽 bring it on! )
-
My own version of spaceinvaders
One tool to unite all the shitty software we have at fucking work (tickets, address book, asset management, remote desktop, ad scripts) -
Knowledge management. My last job had notes recorded under closed tickets. Some people use hundreds of gdocs. Others have github gists some people I've seen just have sticky notes everywhere
How do you handle personal knowledge bases?? I want to set up some system for me and maybe my friends2 -
I'm a junior dev and my senior is not getting around to reviewing my tickets. Now there are multiple months-old tickets that still have to be reviewed. That feature should have been released months ago and it has not yet been reviewed.
Soon the (only) senior dev will go on a holiday and it feels kinda useless to continue to develop stuff that takes forever to be reviewed.
In the past 1 week, there is one ticket reviewed and there are 10 more in review. :')
It's not like it's a big team... 3 devs (The senior, me and another junior (who is on leave for the past 2 weeks for personal reasons).1 -
In work we have a ticketing system for changes etc. I try and do a bit of each at a time so it looks like I have loads to do... Then I finish all of them together and clear my tickets
1 -
Don't you love the neverending sprint?
You know the one that just inherits all the tickets from the last one? Each sprint packs on new cool features but along the way bug tickets come in for code you haven't even touched or wrote and you deal with them because they are blockers.
before you know it, sprint is over and ok to the next one. I'm pretty sure that is how this is supposed to work right?1 -
Hey guys! I have 2 tickets for sale to Web Summit November 5th-8th in Lisbon! Only for half price! If you are interested live your email or telegram in the comments below.
-
Project manager is against that we pick our own tickets.... So next sprint, that last 2 weeks, i got 2 days off work and that is already generous estimations.
He will be off for the next 2 weeks. -
**sighs** push and deploy release on stagimg server at 1pm. Wait for 3hours for QA to provide feedback. The minute you start packing, 16 but tickets logged back to back with minimal steps to reproduce. FML
-
!rant
Agile devs— do you attend sprint planning?
I want to, but my boss told me not to go (waste of my time, he says). Only leads attend them, then they come back with tickets for the rest of the team. But a few other devs I’ve spoken to found that absurd, since attending lets you choose your tickets to a certain extent.
Do you attend yours? Is it crazy not to? Am I missing out? (I ask bc ours is happening right now— and it’s so empty in here!)4 -
I work my ass off on multiple tickets, some are even incomplete tickets from another dev in vacation. The PM team under estimated the time the client needing these features.
PM during stand up: I would like to thank *some random dev* for adding comments to his tickets. It is very helpful. -
In my case, the only way to stay productive is to task switch often. Suffering of adhd, I get bored of researching / developing a specific solution rather quickly, and then have a huge issue staying focused.
That's also why I can't imagine being a programmer. Being a sysadmin, however, is great! Dealing with many different tickets a day. -
Title: Error Popup Occurs --> To be discussed
Description: When I open the app -> I see the app screen -> then I see some text -> sometimes there is a popup showing an error message
We of course don't want any errors at all so we should hinder these error messages
No, this isn't parody, arrows and all its how some people write our tickets, why do they write it this way!?!? Where is the value!!?!? Where is the comprehension!?!?!? God I get so sick of it sometimes.7 -
I hate "giving away" my tickets. It's easier when it's involving something I just don't have access to, but really, really hard to escalate a ticket that I feel like I should know better how to work.
-
This is so fucking stupid. Fuck. When they log defects on jira for different issues on the same page but in different tickets I end up having merge conflicts with myself. Like are you fucking kidding me?
-
Client keeps contacting me telling me customers are having issues purchasing tickets (events site). Stripe is picking up potential fraudulent activity (high risk).
We know the people who are trying to buy, and they're genuine. Anyone else having issues like this?
It's not happening a great deal, I would say maybe 1 in 20 times.2 -
PM describes a feature in unfinished PRD, two clubhouse tickets, 4 zeppelin's, a Google sheet's I don't have access to, and slack messages.
Has the audacity to tell me I fucked up because the feature doesn't work the way he imagines it.
What the fuck is the point of a PRD if the spec changes MID DEPLOY!? -
Has anyone else ever been stuck in a 'doSomething()' limbo where your dev section has no tickets so you have to create your own tickets so that you still seem productive?6
-
When you've been handling multiple production defects and software PMR tickets for the last couple of months and the morning of a new sprint your JIRA/SCRUM/Kanban/task/whatever board is empty under your name. Feels good man.
-
Having to come into the office on the day after new years hungover and grouchy to do support tickets because everyone else took leave and you're a good boy that gets shit done
-
never realized how much of a pain it is to try and write good jira tickets that other people who are unfamiliar with the project can pick them up2
-
Its fixed. Your welcome.
Don’t ask me to do something and then complain because it takes too long and then redirect me on six other tickets.
I am a tank that will crush problems no matter how long it takes and still do your other six tickets. -
Ahh most of my development time includes, handling JIRA tickets and arranging them in their respective state.. 😅
-
When devs have to test tickets end to end in stabilisation week that have passed in previous sprints because the company doesn't want to cough up more than 2 QAs...
I am not a tester. This is bullshit.
(Obviously I e2e test my tickets during the sprint before deploying and passing them on to QA to test and hopefully move on to 'Done') -
Usually it's customer support.
We are a small team, so developers handle support, on a rotation basis though. But this is a hell lot of distraction because of the context switch. :(
Sometimes there are really disturbing tickets like how do I call this API using HTML? (*cries in spanish) -
Hey guys! I have 2 tickets for sale to Web Summit November 5th-8th in Lisbon! For you only for half price! If you are interested live your email or telegram in the comments below.1
-
A petty thing I did today.
Coworker from another team asked me to monitor their service during rollout. (I had contributed code to their service), so now I've created a bunch of tickets for the error spikes I noticed and assigned it to them. Most of them were just preexisting errors, some new ones.1 -
The biggest distraction in all issue trackers is the hemorrhaging backlog of tickets that will _never_ be done, or aren't important yet.
This is why I just choose not to even bother opening it and let my PM close them out. :-) -
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES BACK AROUND
Overflooded with tickets about regressions, management finally gave in and instructed us to use integration tests again.
Who would have seen that one coming.
(at least half of these "regression tickets" were not regressions at all, but I'm not going to be the one spoiling the first time management actually makes the right call)1 -
Who wants a simple bash script for those screen recordings you wanna convert into a gif to upload to your JIRA or github or whatever?
https://gist.github.com/christhomas... -
When you open all the bitbucket emails you have to process after you spent just a half day doing your own tickets.
-
I know it made sense resource wise, but being on constant support/incident tickets, bug fixes, out of hours & weekend deployments for the past like four months really drains you.
Though, now I have the opportunity of completing half a sprint on my own, while dealing with the ongoing incident tickets.
Not exactly what I hoped for, but I guess it's a change.1
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View