I accidentally created a bug that became an amazing feature at my last job.

It was for a program to read barcode tickets (we created software and web solutions for events), and to register the barcode sacnners to the computer I had to do some magic with USB-detection since it was not specified which brand the scanners would be (so no SDK would be available).

When the scanner was plugged in it would create its own thread so it wouldn't interfere with the UI of the program when it was reading/sending data.

Somehow I messed up with the thread termination for new scanners so it would accept to connect more than one scanner and it would work flawless since it was its own thread in the program.

When I tried to think out a solution for multiple scanners when planning it I got a headache and thought that's something for later. Turned out alright in the end apparently.

** The most hilarious authentication implementation I've ever seen **

They stored password in cleartext, but never mind, this is sadly quite common.
For some reasons credentials were also case insensitive (maybe to avoid silly tickets from CAPS LOCK lovers?).

Then I had a look to the query executed during the login:
SELECT * FROM users WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?;

So I tried logging in with user "admin" and password "%"... and it worked!
I laughed all the day.

Listening to Linkin Park while coding.
Head banging, foot tapping, just singing along in my head.
Then the boss messaged me, "should we produce some tickets?".
Apparently, I'm singing rather loudly.
Earth, swallow me up now.

That feeling when you can close/solve 2/3 of your tickets in a day WITHOUT HELP as a junior.

😍

"It's in progress. I am working on it."

First on the phone this afternoon and also a crapload of tickets.
*alright let's do some tickets*
*tringgggggg*
*fair enough, phone comes first*
*half an hour later call finishes*

*alright, tickets!*
*tringggg*
*alright phone first again*
*handles call, hangs up*

*Aaand tickets!*
*Tringgggggggg*
*oh come on I need to do tickets :/*
*handles call again and closes convo*

*Aaaand now: ticke... *TRINGGGG*
*oh come on!!*
*handles call once again*

*please don't interrupt me now, I need to do those ti.... *TRINGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
*fucking hell!*
*handles call and tries to stay calm*

*now tickets!*
*types reply, presses repl... *TRINGGGG 😈*
*OH FOR FUCKS SAKE*
*handles call once a-FUCKING-gain*

*if the phone rings now...*
*goes to the reply button again and: clic.... *TRINGGGGGG - GO FUCK YOURSELF!*

FUUUUUUUCKING FUCKING FUCK.

FUCK. TODAY WAS ANNOYING AS HELL.

PROBLEM: A tickets' company came to us last autumn. They said they have severe performance problems and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: covid and quarantines. All events have been ceased, noone's buying any tickets any more. Performance problems are no more. FIXED.

PROBLEM: Another company came to us recently. They said they have severe performance problems with their huge databases and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: a few days of heavy rain and their datacenter was flooded. along with the backup servers. No more data, no more performance problems with large databases. FIXED

Solving problems genie style!

Who's next?

So our public transportation company started to sell tickets online with their brand new fancy​ system.

• You can buy tickets and passes for the price you want
• Passwords are in plaintext
• Communication is through HTTP
• Login state are checked before the password match so you can basically view who is online
• Email password reminders security code can be read from servers response

Oh and I almost forgot admin credentials are FUCKING admin/admin

Who in the fucking name of all gods can commit such idiocracy with a system that would be used by almost millions of people. I hope you will burn in programming hell. Or even worse...

I'm glad I'm having a car and don't have to use that security black hole.

A few tickets to open tonight

Coolest project: I once worked for a customer who hosted an exhibition for a few thousand visitors in a big event arena in Stockholm.

They didn't want to use the existing ticket reading system on the arena so I had to build my own application compatible with barcode scanners (they said this about one week before the event).

It wasn't a complicated application to dev but with the tight deadline and no time to actually stress test it, it was the coolest thing to see hundreds of people streaming through the ticket station flawlessly.

Day 2 of the event I built a simple web application so I could see the flow rate of read tickets while I sat in the arena pub with a beer.

This new dude who would change status of tickets to "resolved", thinking that it actually fixed problems reported in those tickets.

There's one kind of ticket I fucking love. Wait, YOU LOVE TICKETS?! No, except for one.

Tickets where people ask us to restore backups.

Why do I love them?

Because the only fucking thing I need to do is reply with a link to a helpdesk item on our website because backups aren't something within our support range because it's easy for customers to do.

So whenever a ticket about restoring a backup comes in, it's as easy as opening the ticket, pasting the link with "I'd like to refer you to the following resource: " and pressing fucking "reply"

😄

This is how my day has gone so far:
1. In car, see advert about hackathon
2. Look it up, see tickets go on sale in 30mins
3. Read more about hackathon, apparently tickets go within minutes
4. Get tickets, print
5. Printer out of ink
6. Accidentally deleted ticket, can't reprint
7. No more tickets left so can't get another
8. Spend hours with data recovery tools
9. Remember recycle bin. Reprint ticket
10. Cry
11. Rant on devRant

We're using a ticket system at work that a local company wrote specifically for IT-support companies. It's missing so many (to us) essential features that they flat out ignored the feature requests for. I started dissecting their front-end code to find ways to get the site to do what we want and find a lot of ugly code.
Stuff like if(!confirm("blablabla") == false) and whole JavaScript libraries just to perform one task in one page that are loaded on every page you visit, complaining in the js console that they are loaded in the wrong order. It also uses a websocket on a completely arbitrary port making it impossible to work with it if you are on a restricted wifi. They flat out lie about their customers not wanting an offline app even though their communications platform on which they got asked this question once again got swarmed with big customers disagreeing as the mobile perofrmance and design of the mobile webpage is just atrocious.

So i dig farther and farthee adding all the features we want into a userscript with a beat little 'custom namespace' i make pretty good progress until i find a site that does asynchronous loading of its subpages all of a sudden. They never do that anywhere else. Injecting code into the overcomolicated jQuery mess that they call code is impossible to me, so i track changes via a mutationObserver (awesome stuff for userscripts, never heard of it before) and get that running too.

The userscript got such a volume of functions in such a short time that my boss even used it to demonstrate to them what we want and asked them why they couldn't do it in a reasonable timeframe.

All in all I'm pretty proud if the script, but i hate that software companies that write such a mess of code in different coding styles all over the place even get a foot into the door.

And that's just the code part: They very veeeery often just break stuff in updates that then require multiple hotfixes throughout the day after we complain about it. These errors even go so far to break functionality completely or just throw 500s in our face. It really gives you the impression that they are not testing that thing at all.

And the worst: They actively encourage their trainees to write as much code as possible to get paid more than their contract says, so of course they just break stuff all the time to write as much as possible.
Where did i get that information you ask? They state it on ther fucking career page!

We also have reverse proxy in front of that page that manages the HTTPS encryption and Let's Encrypt renewal. Guess what: They internally check if the certificate on the machine is valid and the system refuses to work if it isn't. How do you upload a certificate to the system you asked? You don't! You have to mail it to them for them to SSH into the system and install it manually. When will that be possible you ask? SOON™.
At least after a while i got them to just disable the 'feature'.

While we are at 'features' (sorry for the bad structure): They have this genius 'smart redirect' feature that is supposed to throw you right back where you were once you're done editing something. Brilliant idea, how do they do it? Using a callback libk like everyone else? Noooo. A serverside database entry that only gets correctly updated half of the time. So while multitasking in multiple tabs because the performance of that thing almost forces you to makes it a whole lot worse you are not protected from it if you don't. Example: you did work on ticket A and save that. You get redirected to ticket B you worked on this morning even though its fucking 5 o' clock in the evening. So of course you get confused over wherever you selected the right ticket to begin with. So you have to check that almost everytime.

Alright, rant over.
Let's see if i beed to make another one after their big 'all feature requests on hold, UI redesign, everything will be fixed and much better'-update.

Clients who keep calling in.

I'm a first liner and sysadmin, both (official title is Linux support engineer) so I do tickets+calls+server engineering.

It's highly annoying when you've got a busy day with loads of calls and I'm the first first-liner and I'm working on an important/high-prio ticket and PEOPLE KEEP CALLING.

Every time I can write like a few more words and then the fucking phone rings again aaaand so fucking on.

Your concentration is gone, workflow interrupted and my short term memory is shit so I entirely forget what I was debugging.

But, phone comes first 😞

boss: please look into tools that do X.

fullstackchris: Ah, here's a solution we can use!

boss: I don't want to use it because it is too complicated.

fullstackchris: ok, that's fine with me...

[one week later] boss: oh I found this nice site that does X, can we do X?

fullstackchris: YES, THAT'S EXACTLY THE SOLUTION I ALREADY FOUND, *AFTER* YOU ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR A SOLUTION, AND IN THE END YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. OH HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?!?!

F*@#! *%*#

At my previous job, the person in charge of the Phabricator server didn't have a backup system in place. I yelled at him until he implemented one.

He had the server perform backups to the same drive. I yelled at him again, to no avail.

Well, after awhile the hard drive started failing, and it would only boot intermittently. After a lot of effort, he was able to salvage part of the backup data, but no more, meaning we lost a lot of bug reports and feedback, and developer tickets. We were able recover all of the older lost tickets from a previous server, so overall the loss was pretty small.

But I think he learned his lesson.
He definitely learned to listen.

I'm a week into my new job right now. What do I love the most about it?

Learning things all day long and getting paid for it!

I'm learning about hosting things, DNS, cyber security, configurations, Linux (although my current skill set with Linux has been enough for now) and so on!

Hell, easy day today (not that many tickets) so decided to start learning Ansible! Next to that I've gotta learn vim (it just autocorrected that to cum.... O.o), work with hosting panels, mail stuffs (dns, debugging etc etc) and so fucking on.

The boss hasn't been at location yet which will happen tomorrow but he seemed like a very chill guy.

I love this!

Trying to book flight tickets on a website and I get a JSON object -_-

During the entire afternoon we had a ridiculously low amount of tickets.

Suddenly 'is this the real life, or is this just fantasy' popped up in my head.

😆

Going through the latest bug tickets like...

# Day 0:

Me: "Hey boss, I want to let you know that I need this kind of information from the customer for these features, otherwise I cannot finish the project's milestone in two weeks."

Boss: "OK, just continue as far as you can get. We have to get this finished."

Me: "Well, I cannot go any further for these tickets. I need that input. Shall we leave them in todo?"

Boss: "OK."

# Day 7:

Boss: "Whe didn't you start on these tickets in todo?

Me: "As I have told you, I need some information."

Boss: "We gotta get this out of the door!"

Me: "Yes, if we want to meet the deadline, we should. Yet I cannot guess the feature. Also, let me create a column: `to clarify` and move that ticket there. As I have said: I need that information. You have to contact the customer about it and get their feedback.

Boss: "OK."

# Day 13:

Boss: "Why isn't this project finished? There are still tickets open."

Me: "You never provided the information I asked you about."

Boss: "I want an explanation not an excuses."

Me o_O: "This is the explanation. I was asking you on multiple occasions about the required feedback. You never provided it. See the columns name? It's called `to clarify`. We created it last time together. That clarification never happened even though I told you that I need it. I cannot do magic. I can only implement features, and while I can sometimes make intelligent guesses to their use cases, I rather implement their actual ones than my fictional ones.

Boss: "You should have told me."

Me: ಠ_ಠ

Them: We really need you to fill out this sheet today with estimated release dates.

Me: I really need you to respond to any of the emails I’ve sent over the past week, asking questions about what these tickets mean.

The universe has this weird magical power.

Whenever there are hardly any phone calls and someone mentions something in the trend of that it's not busy at all, we suddenly get overflooded with phone calls.

It's weird how this 'works' every goddamn motherfucking time. (Same goes for tickets)

Someone call a dev, this website is sick!
I'm talking about the website of the German train company (Deutsche Bahn).
Their ticket information and selling module has not being feeling well for a couple of days now.
Symptoms include:
- error 500 pages when trying to find a connection through their search
- not being able to book tickets
- being able to book tickets, but receiving them twice
- being charged twice for one ticket
- not being able to download tickets you bought
Suggested treatment: If you were charged too much, you have to send them a letter by postal mail to get your money back.
Or buy a ticket directly at the train station.
What year is this? 🤔😐

One of my support tickets today:
Hi IT, i can't install Pokemon Go on my phone

This is no meme, this is an actual customer support ticket we got :)

"Maybe the internet has an error”

Quote from my GF after booking tickets online failed, and on some level I feel like this is a very profound, relevant statement..

FUCK YOU TICKETMASTER AND YOUR SHITTY WEBSITE.

Why can't you process my request during an EXPECTED WINDOW OF HIGH TRAFFIC?!

DO YOU EVEN LOAD BALANCE, BRO?!

I missed my chance to buy some Hans Zimmer tickets for the ONLY time I've ever seen him listed in my city. I had the tickets in my cart, but it errored out upon checking out. Then, every other attempt to search for tickets resulted in an error.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!

One day, Hans... One day I will see you. 😢

Story time:
Yesterday I wanted to go to the theater with my girlfriend. It was her idea because as a student you can get reduced tickets for the play, but only via the online store exactely two hours before the play starts. We had already tried two weeks before but with no success. So this time I said i want to be on my pc with a proper browser and not a mobile version like last time. So we are sitting at home me in front of their website on one screen and with a clock on the other screen. Two minutes realy i hit refresh and I get a selection for the reduced tickets, nice.

You would think.

After selecting the amount. ERROR: Can not get your tickets. I was like fuck they are already sold out because it's a popular play. But hey let's try again. I got one ticket but not the second one, okay strange lets try again, same ERROR again. WHAT the FUCK, no feedback what so ever. My girlfriend had then the idea that they maybe restricted the amount for reduced tickets to one (does not state this explicitly but hey lets give it a shot). Use second browser select one ticket. ERROR can not get you the amount of seats. Rage level near to a 1000 why did it work two minutes before but not anymore. Trying around for five more minutes finally got the second ticket.

Now the real fun begins.

Proceeding to checkout should not be that hard you would think, but you need to be registered for that. Okay so let's do that. The salutation is not required neither is the address for the tickets but you need to have a company name??!!!!! The fuck?? I am not self employed and neither are a most other people around here so why is this field mandatory? Beeing a little under stress I decided to found the "asdf" company with my girlfriend.

Now one would think checking out is easy. Not so fast.

After accepting the terms of service another ERROR, unable to accept your data. What data? I did not input anything new? Where does this come from? Ok never mind I am going to pay with credid card that must work!
ERROR: Internal paymentservice initialization failure! Sorry what? I thought maybe I was to long idle in this browser and they do not reserve the tickets for so long (which would be no surprise to me at this point). Let's try again. Nope same error.

Now my rage level was really over 9000 but we really wanted to go so I decided to call the customer SUPPORT. Or better to say I had a answering maching telling me for ten minutes how sorry they are that this takes so long, yeah you bet. Then and this is now really great: the support guy asks me: "What error do you see? Internal paymentservice initialization failure?" I was like, okay he knows this so they need to know how to handle it. FUCK NO. "Sorry I can't help you. This is our payment system maybe they (IT) are doing some maintenance I can't halp you. Call the theater directly good day." Sorry what just happened, you fuckers are the vendors for the tickets for nearly all big events around here and the theater explicitly states to call you for tickets but you can not help me? Like hell.

This process took 25 very frustrating minutes and I was really angry and wanted to quit, then I saw that there is also a paypal option which I had not tried. With very little hope i selected everything for the payment, registered with paypal and they told me I already had an account. So reactivated this five year old account payed with all the mobile passwords and tans to finally, after 30 fucking minutes, get a pdf file for a ticket. Repeated the last step for the second ticket and with some time left to get there we were off.

Deciphering 10-20 jira tickets that relate to 1 feature which aren't linked in anyway beyond titles spread throughout an epic or 2.

Ah the pain of having to go through 200 tickets to find everything you need for a single feature.

So some dipshit keeps entering his email wrong on forms and putting mine on instead (never met this guy).

So far I've received holiday bookings, plane tickets and payslips. I've already called his mobile and told him what I've received emails for and what he should change.

Still nothing, maybe I should just rob him blind for being so thick...

Diversity Support Tickets EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE
Because if you happen to be born a woman or you like men (or women or both or none - its up to you) you'll get that €399 ticket for free. Seriously? From when white straight man can afford to pay for the conference but a different skin, gender or sexual orientation cannot?
No hate - you do you, but from my perspective as a woman, I feel this is kind of unfair to all my male fellas out there.

Intranet not working.
Delete certificates.
Still not working.
Ask IT.
You need to create ticket to delete certificates.
IT site is in intranet.
Intranet not working.
Ask IT to create ticket.
They can't create tickets for users.
FML

Just another day in corporation.

Wanna attend the developer conference?

White and male? Pay half a grand.
Female? Black? LGBTQIA? You get a free ticket!

Seriously, how would they verify if you are gay?
It appears to me that it's easily exploitable.

Pet peeve:

Putting screen shots in Word documents, then attaching the doc to tickets.

Mucking forons.

One way to resolve tickets quickly

I'm working with a customer named Clint.

I realize now that over numerous tickets I started mistyping his name... just every god damn time.

Guess what letter I left out?

Nice guy for not correcting me ... extra fast ticket response for him now.

Riverbed...the software cost USD $120,000+ and their support was horrible.

Tickets would go unanswered.

Their documentation was pretty good but there were parts that were wrong and they would not fix it.

They would usually close an issue because it was opened by someone else 5 years prior and hadn't been fixed.

The several years I used it their releases consisted of no tangible code enhancements.

Several times we provided very simple reproducable issues and there response was basicly "just don't do that".

I was asked to mentor a new joinee.
As she is new i dont mind the bad code and offer suggestions in code reviews.
She doesn't know how to use .map, .filter and lots of other basic js stuff.
Claims she has completed work on tickets when it's clearly not completed.
I end up looking like an asshole for pointing out her incomplete work before her long leave.
Find out she's actually getting paid significantly more than me as she's an 'experienced frontend dev'.

Fml

TL;DR Client managing their own ticket is never a good idea.

So my client got access to their own ticketing system. Now instead of going the usual route, they assign the tickets directly. Sometimes going as far as editing the tickets themselves.

But the biggest issue has been the Estimated Resolution Time. This is what happened when I asked about it.

Me: So I noticed that you started including an estimated time of completion.

Client: Yeah, it's an internal thing to help us identify when things will be done and where to focus our attention.

Me: Ok, and what is this time based on? (How do you, a non-dev, can decide how long it should take?)

Client: Oh don't worry it's just an internal thing. You won't be measured against it.

Me: (Sure) Alright, I'm just letting you know that I will be changing these as necessary.

I basically ignored the conversation after this. But the fucker still gives me absurd deadlines. Seriously, what makes managers think they know how long a development should take?

You know the anxiety that is caused by having your boss breathing down your neck as you fix something?
.....
WELL I DON'T
SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKER AND WATCH THIS SHIT

I fucking invite this micromanaging fuckery. Come on dude get closer and check this shit out. Countless hours perfecting my sweet skills, lemme show them to you and make yo dumbass feel inadequate AF

dude was literally looking as i saved the day over some fuckery that happened while i was taking care of alllll the other motherfucking support tickets.

Dude even said wow.

I said "i am in this bitch what's up?"

Guarantee mfkers won't fuck with you if you show them how much of a fucking boss you are.

*doesn't drop mic
*smashes guitar instead

* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches to working on it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches team member to it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Gets dev team to help with it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Asks CEO to help on ticket.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Cries.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Prays to Mecca.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* ...

I then find out two more urgent support tickets are about to come in.

And then another one.

Help.

The sell: “become a designer, change the world”

The reality: “become a designer, create Jira tickets for devs to fix stuff you’ve noticed”

When the client writes tickets in riddles...

Two new coworkers step in. HR hasn't set up their accounts yet. We create all necessary tickets and wait. A week has now gone by. New guys are just sitting there reading documentation. Call HR

- We are currently processing the request.
- But what is taking so long?
- The request needs to be approved in 4 steps by people on higher and higher levels.
- What level is it currently on?
- Two

*Rage quit*

Me: *Killing tickets like there's no tomorrow*

Others: Doing nothing.

Manager: Well, since you are closing tickets here are some from your coworkers.

I hardly use Windows, but had to book tickets using my friend's laptop who only had Windows.
So I switch on my mobile data, and the stupid shit just ate up all my data in updating Windows without even asking for permission 😣
Learnt my lesson

Best coworker I've had and still have is a girl I've met in training. Whenever our shifts overlap I work best. Last time this happened we watched Pink Floyd's The Wall while solving tickets and taking chats. Other times we rock out to music and every time we laugh at some customer's way of describing their issue. She also has a great lifestyle, she's an actress and she's got loads of fun stories to tell.
P.S. Hello, world!

This one crazy:
We made an app for our client to scan some parcels via barcode.

They just created a ticket, for complaining that it's hard to scan in the storage room, because it's so dark. They are like sometimes we need to use a torge to scan. Can you increase the contrast of the app or something to scan better in darker place.

Did not know what to answer, but my thoughts were like: why the fuck you don't put enough light in that room?! 🤔🤷🏽‍♂️

Let me paint you a picture.

It's the day after code freeze. Code has been branched. It's time once again to verify tickets and run smoke check so we can begin our 3 days of blitz testing before we deploy.

As a team we all have roles to play in this process. Yet, every stinking release it is like pulling teeth to get everyone to take the initiative and verify tickets and run smoke check. Our principled engineer even reached his limit this morning and blew up on everyone.

When you are being paid good money to do a job, you need be an adult, be responsible, step up and do your job!

Jira changed their UI. Again.

Instead of solving my tickets, they waste time with UI changes

"I'm getting an error. It's just not working right."

Stupidest. Bug. Report. Ever.

Please stop wasting our time with tickets like this people, it only requires is to then spend more time just figuring out what the issue is.

🙄🔫

I'm so annoyed.

I completed the development and testing for one of my tickets last Wednesday. I assigned it to our QA on the same day. Now that we have to deploy it, he's bugging me about some failing test cases.

I'm so fucking glad that I updated that ticket with all the details before assigning it to him. I don't have to speak because the ticket speaks for itself but still, I'm pressured to work on that fix fast but you know what? Fuck you. I'll take my damn time.

Be me...
Coding and refactoring...
Very focused...
Until...
.
..
…
….

METALLICA COMING TO AUSTRALIA 🤘🤘🤘
….
..
..
.

Forgot what I was doing... But I know what I will be doing next week... GETTING THOSE VIP TICKETS 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘

Why is diversitytickets.org still up?

In my opinion, diversity != giving free tickets to people because of something they didn't choose, like being female, black, or LGBTQ+ And as @finiteAutomaton said, how would they know if you're, for example, gay?

If you *really* want to get other groups into technology, why not do it from the education level? Make sure everyone gets the same chances if they don't. Introduce role models to students, maybe.

Why not something else instead of just 'You're {black, female, LGBTQ+}, so you can apply for free conference tickets.'

I swear, if I ever were to develop a support ticket system, I'd require credit card credentials for P1 tickets - "for covering potential costs to get the developer to the computer at this point in time". Let's see how many of your fucking tickets are Business critical after all!

There’s a special place in hell for fuckwits who create tickets and don’t include the fucking error message.

The Hungarian public transport company launched an online shop (created by T-Systems), which was clearly rushed. Within the first days people found out that you could modify the headers and buy tickets for whatever price you set, and you could login as anyone else without knowing their password. And they sent out password reminders in plain text in non-encrypted emails. People reported these to the company which claims to have fixed the problems.

Instead of being ashamed of themselves now they're suing those who pointed out the flaws. Fucking dicks, if anyone they should be sued for treating confidential user data (such as national ID numbers) like idiots.

Gaming community of mine launched their slick new website with their new "ticket system" where people could put in tickets to get help by volunteers.

2 hours and an approval by one of the admins later I managed to inject forge http request into literally every form on that side. Modify permissions, delete users, edit tickets, put invalid values into every attribute of them... In other words break everything.
Turns out the whole thing was coded as a first time project by a person who has no clue about web development and noone is in charge of anything really. There are no requirements, no beta testing, no version control or backups, but at least they had a hard deadline. 🤣

Still not sure if I wanna fix their shit and do it properly or just enjoy seeing it crash and burn.

Jeez, I'll buy the tickets. Stop bugging me so much!

Project Manager comments on all my on-going tickets "any updates?"

And the project manager gets awarded "most productive"

While the tickets I've been assigned can't be closed in just a day

smh

sitting with friends and trying to book movie tickets online. the cinema simulator shows all good seats as booked. Me: "don't worry guys". open inspect element, changing the seat image from booked to available. now everybody think im hacker... :)

We worked with that freelancer some time ago. Most talented coder I've ever known. Coding for only 3 years, and only 1 technology, but technical thinking already up to par with my own 15+ years of experience. Very rude but to the point. We loved it - "one of us". We hired that asshole for different remote projects over 20 times in 3 years. We send spec, answer questions, collaborate on chat, review work on svn, add tickets, get solutions. After about a year working like that we had minor issue with finance that revealed our prized freelancer is a chick.

Changed nothing.

Two of them, both are not very extrem.
Positive one first:

Meetings were usually not dead serious (unless there was a problem), everyone just joked around a little, made their actual points and got back to work.

Now the other one:
A client's QA staff commented "this bug is still occuring" on 5 tickets, without checking if they ever deployed the new release candidate.
They didn't deploy the new RC, so of course, the bugs couldn't have been fixed on their side.

Off to the funeral of a family member of mine today. He was one of us, a developer for a cool little startup in London. I'd much rather be wrestling with bugs and support tickets today 😔

Conference tickets are overpriced

true or false?

Do you attend any without being sponsored?

A Visual Studio solution that had 62 (SIXTY TWO) projects for a webpage that was like 8 user forms total was like going to a shop to buy 3 items and receiving 15 tickets for that.
PMs saying no to refactoring due to not having enough time for a months. The first task took me 2 days just by fixing cyclic dependencies among the libraries. Went home and merged all the projects to just 3, building instantly in just two hours. Fuck idiot PMs that do not know how to code, buys shit and don't listen to devs. Fuck all idiots.

Got a few Jira tickets reassigned to me because the dev who was supposed to work on them got stuck on another project. It's fine, that happens.

I open the tickets. No descriptions for all of them. No screenshots for those reported as bugs, nor any replication steps. No attached test cases or, well, ANY useful information.

I talk to our BA, he says that all information I need are in OTHER tickets on ANOTHER BOARD that business manages but I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO. Honestly, these shitfucks could've just done simple copy/paste. But nooooo...

So I reassign all the tickets back to their original reporters (business testers) with comments requesting more information.

It's been a week. Now I have no idea what to put in my time sheet.

In an application that everyone in production floor used... I made some "improvements"... Next I know I get tons of tickets because is really slow... Like 20 minutes waiting and it doesn't load... I try with my user in their computers and it loads instantly... Puzzled... After trying in many computers my user loads instantly... Oops... I left a if(user = "me") skip all active directory checks 🙄... Made all production floor lose about 3 hours 😆 because I didn't believe 😛

In order to reduce support costs, manager instructed his team to remove all logging/reporting of errors in the company’s CRM application.
Team’s support tickets went down 80%, manager received an award for his efforts, but mysteriously, DBA/support workload increased, bad/missing data,
increased support tickets in other areas of the business (shipping, etc. that relied on correct data from the CRM) and other side-affectual behavior.
Even after pointing this out this correlation, showing before/after code, no one believed the two were related and I was accused of not being a ‘team player’.
“You and the other teams need to learn from his example!”. As ‘punishment’ was I was moved to the team managing the CRM application.

So I flew to California Saturday to see my daughter. It was fun, and I was glad to see her.

Now, when I bought my tickets, I got a flight that landed at 11:30pm, allowing me to sleep on the plane a bit, drive home, sleep more, and then wake up at 6am for work.

Well, that went out the window. Fuck you Southwest, Fuck you.

(I'm currently on layover in Phoenix)

I used to work on a production management team, whose job was, among other things, safeguarding access to production. Dev teams would send us requests all the time to, "run a quick SQL script."

Invariably, the SQL would include, "SELECT * FROM db_config."

We would push the tickets back, and the devs would call us, enraged. I learned pretty quickly that they didn't have any real interest in dev, test, or staging environments, and just wanted to do everything in prod, and see if it works.

But they would give up their protests pretty fast when I offered to let them speak to a manager when they were upset I wouldn't run their SQL.

*me and my manager, during my appraisal meeting

me: *talks about work done in previous project, and the current one under him

manager: but your JIRA throughput is very less.

me: the tickets which I pick are more research oriented and almost always take more time than the other config- fix type ones, and due to me being shifted from another team, there has been an increasing learning curve, I realize that, but...

manager: look at Jack, his throughput has been consistently high.

*me, after realizing my appraisal has obviously gotten affected and this discussion will lead nowhere

me: I would like to have a chat with HR before I sign the form with the percentage increment you are offering.

*me, with hr the next day
hr: your manager tells me that your throughput has been less than satisfactory.

me: *goes on to explain about the type of tickets I have been working on, along with other enhancements done to make people's lives easier

hr: but the throughput...

me: where the f**k do I sign?

Oh fuck, did I actually fix all IE-related tickets on this project?
Am I some kind of masochist?

'We are a fast paced team where you will have a lot of opportunity for growth'
Do you sponsor conference tickets?
No
Can I get some programming books?
No
Do I get chance to goto meet ups?
If you can meet the deadlines and have free time.

... How am I supposed to learn then?
STACKOVERFLOW

Look here sir. If I have raised 12 defects on the feature you were working on its not a personal attack... I am not trying to publicly humilate you or doubting your ninja coding skills. We are on the same team. Just trying to make a better product that's my job as qa. So chill out with passive aggressive comments on the tickets.

You don't hear me making a peep when you take my name and say I missed the issue if someone higher up points out the same defects.

Meetings, responding to emails, handling urgent tickets, etc. If I could just get four uninterrupted hours of coding in a day, I'd be happy. But I'm basically in meetings all morning and usually have at least 1 more in the middle of the afternoon.

So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".

Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.

Can comeone please fire this guy?

Clients be like, why the fuck should I bother to check last commits related to tickets when I can just bother the developer when he's about to sleep...

App 1 and 2 is basically same thing and 3 one is app just for commuter trains, what don't provide anything extra for commuting that 1 and 2 don't provide. App 1 is really old and UI and UX feels from stone age. 2 is quite fresh looking and feels good. 3, well never used it.

But here is a thing, I use train to commute, but not commuter train (one that stops on every train station) so I use 2 now. But I can't purchase season tickets (1 month tickets) from any of those apps so I need to buy it from website. And website sends me a PDF file what has QR code ticket I need, yes I was logged in my account when I purchased ticket but still can't see on any app my ticket even though they have "my tickets" section.

So there is 3 apps what are totally useless for quite simple thing.

How do i not say WTF YOU DUMB SHIT when anwsering support tickets at my company?

Ever since I gave a heads-up that I will be gone until next year, the number of new tickets on my plate have increased. I hope you don't really expect me finish all of these before I go. I mean I planned to but after that other developer pissed me off by passing me an urgent ticket that kept growing, I lost all motivation to do so.

Teammember left. I did his three tickets yesterday. Before that I created and applied new rescue procedure for broken deploys on production and deployed the app manually. Took me about 6 hours to do this right, find the cause, and solve it, and document what I did. After that my teamleader bought me a launch :)
It wasn't his, my former teammate responsibility to bring back prd to life, it was me being good and engaged employee. His tickets, on the other hand, were his duties. Took me one hour to code them. He was working on them for two weeks. I can't wait for the performance review, im definitely going to ask for a nice rise :)

"Even if youre sick, you should have update your Tickets".

I did inform them that I'll be absent. I literally mean that I don't have to work for that. I don't even get to pay while updating my tickets.

My "travel jar", where I usually store boarding passes, tickets and memories from my journeys...

When you get a ticket saying that a user can't see a record so the system must be broken, then after an hour of looking into it; said record never existed... Please stop wasting my time -_-

so we were about to buy some bus tickets in kazakhstan..

It's sprint meeting day! Time to grab some coffee because it's going to be 5 hours of PMs ranting about tickets and progress. Yay!

I'm a dumbass.

I've been working a lot in the past week and even thought I'll get fired if I don't finish everything. It turns out, all the tickets on my plate are for next year's release, not at all part of the shit we need to deliver before end of year. Because of the lack of sleep and shit like that, I've been feeling really hot yesterday but when I check my temperature, it's lower than usual.

Now I'm gonna have a COVID test as a part of travel requirements. I feel paranoid that I might have screwed myself over by depriving myself of sleep over a deadline that is far into the future. I would have just worked on them with a regular amount of effort. It's just that they've been assigned to me almost two weeks ago. Now I remember that I finished all the things and had nothing to do but documentation at the time so I asked our senior engineer if I can work on something so he gave me these tickets.

Ugh, why am I this forgetful?

Best:Working for people with money and crazy projects in mind. Working for dreamers. Working for people that believe in you, as a decision maker, stack choices. Choose not to be a pawn.

Worst: not leaving a company when they indiscriminately lie in the job offer. HR will never say bug fixing (that's like going to a date saying you have a micropenis from the beggining), they will say integrations, product improvement... If then all the tickets are bug fixing i should have said something in the first month.

Doing "quick fixes" for some tickets instead of actually finding the cause of the break

Two tasks at the top of the backlog that was approved by the scrum master, and pm. We finish them in a few hours. Pm comes out.

Pm: Why are you guys working on those tickets!?!?!
Us: because they are the first things in the list.
Pm: but the client hasn't agreed on the work yet.
Us: then why is it the top of our list!!!
Pm: cause it's important.

I restore retro arcade machines because I miss the day when the game actually mattered and it wasn't all about the tickets

The amount of times I have read "I can't summit the application" in user issue tickets has prompted me to make this

I get back from Christmas vacation. I read all the unread emails and team chats, then go to work on my assigned tickets. As far as I can tell, those tickets are all I need to work on.

Then my boss snaps at me during our team catchup that I'm supposed to be working on a different set of tickets. Which were not visible on the board. Which were not assigned to me. Which nobody on the fucking team bothered to update me on. Of course if I point those out it'll just be a pain to deal with (especially since my boss doesn't seem to have my back, unless he needs something).

I thought my vacation would help me re-energize and get motivated again for this job, but coming back I'm reminded how unhappy I am now here. I've started applying elsewhere, but I don't know if I can continue to put up with this bullshit until I find a new employer.

Any tips or advice from folks who've felt unhappy in their job in the last year?

Getting "bug" tickets from customers complaining about EXACTLY WHAT I DESCRIBED WOULD HAPPEN. THATS NOT A F&)$*(%$(*# BUG, THATS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD WHAT I WROTE IN THE TICKET LAST WEEK YOU F&#*(@#$() NEANDERTHAL PIECE OF SH$%*(#(*)!!! WE AGREED ON THIS EXACT BUSINESS PROCESS WEEKS AGO. DO YOU EVEN READ THE WORDS THAT I WRITE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

> Get told my teams​ products don't work
> I say file a ticket so we know and can assist
> No tickets filed after 4 weeks,
> Team still complains my teams products don't work

Who else has mindless complainers?

I usually work in a two person team on a hybrid application we are developing, using AngularJS and node.

This normally works okay, because he handles the back end (he's been on the project since January last year, I joined in August as a placement student), and I handle the front end.

However, due to Christmas holidays and such, he's ended up taking an entire month off, and won't be back until the end of January.

I've dabbled in back end before, some routes and that for SQL queries, but nothing serious.

Last Tuesday our core service for the application that needs to be updated in real time broke and pissed off the API provider because we were hammering them with requests.

My first day on back end and this happened. I didn't really know what to do, and had to call my teammate to ask what to do. I essentially just restarted things, and left them as is, until I could find a solution.

From there, I had to mock the operation of the service (which is a complex enough beast) to figure out the problem, and find a fix. Our app more or less hinges on this service, so if it messes up, it's the end times.
All of this while flying on what I've interpreted because the guy that's on holidays was the only guy that knows more about this project than I do.

To make things worse, the clients are being very particular because they're waiting on investments and don't have money to pay our company. So, if they're paying for 5 days work, they're going to put in 5 days of project development. The problem is that their interpretation of 5 days of project development has not changed from when there were two people on this project.

There are 40 tickets in this sprint (ends Friday) and 35 of them are assigned to me. Granted, not all of those take a day to do, but estimates don't mean anything, I guess.

Ganbarimasu.

how am i supposed to fix anything if they change the priorities on my tickets every 10 sec, like PM's change them, 2 min later MD over rules them and changes them again, so 5 min later PM's change them again because something urgent came up, but then another client starts ringing my MD so that client is suddenly priority

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG

I give up

I have this easy task but somehow, it has taken me days to finish it. I didn't really sit on it for days, I just looked into it for a bit, wrote down the design, and then just set it aside to work on other tickets. I finished several other tickets, some more complex, before I went back to this one again. It's low priority so I didn't feel guilty about setting it aside but it's gonna be a part of our core library. I know what to do and I wrote it down step-by-step. If I just follow it all the way, it would be done already but something is stopping me. I feel like this "will do" but it's not the most efficient solution.

Maybe this is the low priority talking. I have the luxury of time so my mind goes many ways instead of focusing on this one solution. I don't know what it's called. Dev conscience? Procrastination? Big PP energy? Spiritual herpes? Whatever it is. I'm gonna attempt to ignore it because this is going nowhere.

Anyone going to the TNW conference? The super early bird tickets are quite inexpensive.

Our QA team love writing really awkward bug tickets

No reproductions steps

and every time i see one appear all i can think of is this

So for the past 3 weeks I have been reporting that the development on X tickets has been completed and are deployed for testing.

Testers, fuck it we are not testing.
BA: yeah ok.

So nobody is testing.

And this Friday evening BA panics, starts emailing everybody, we need those items tested blah blah..

Now he is calling the testers over the weekend for testing 😂

And adds few more changes to requirements. (WTF)

Says:- He will also be testing over the weekend.

IT team :- Systems won't be working due scheduled maintenance. 😂😂 In your face BA

IT people best timing ever🤘

Hope he learns some prioritizing.

What the tickets I receive daily are like... -

“You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.”

Saw new issue on jira. When look, they are like my computer is slow or I cannot any buttons in Excel.

For fuck sake, don't send stupid tickets, we already got stupid projects the company took from the others without consulting to the IT team.

There are about 600 tickets every month and most of them are issue because of their stupidity not the software (they never read the error message). And no we are not IT support, go ask those ppl for your computer issue.

!rant

The perks of working in a medium large company with ~35 employees

Today there's a concert for Stargate, Alan Walker and Ne-Yo. Where we've made the video effects for Stargate.

Now we're having a summer party with our biggest clients, free alcohol and food. Later we're walking to the concert where we and our clients got free tickets.

Internal memo this morning, showing up tomorrow is not mandatory

It's not like we needed this information board anyway, to help us monitor our servers, tickets and calendar.

Thats some microsoft quality!

True Story:

first thing I did today: got my tickets for a meat raffle at my friend's church.

second thing I did: took a call from the tech recruiter at PETA.

Well, fuck.
Currently I feel like the personification of the term "thrown into cold water"
After I finished my bachelors degree, I started working on first of april. The first full-time job I had. Therefore I had some training in the first 2 weeks and after that I joined a project after easter. Fast forward two sprints:
Currently I am the only dev in that project, tomorrow is sprint review with the clients and I have to present like 5 tickets of the 10 planned for this sprint. Of my 8 working hours a day, 4 are planned for my self-training and 4 for tickets. Actually its more like 6 for training/reading/understanding the code, because its mostly a whole CRM I am supposed to develop... PM said another dev will join the project in one or two weeks. I hope the client didn't slay me till then..

Call this exploitation, nativity or social hacking but whenever I wanna buy something online be it some stuff or flight tickets, I just casually search on google and other platforms and wait for a discount to come my way.

Have saved a few thousand bucks this way. Putting big brother to work.

The fact that buying a paper train ticket from automates in Germany requires you to write your name on it afterwards with a pen is putting me through a lot of pain.

For about 1.5 years on and off, we've been developing a system to rate tickets/requests sent to our team. We wrote it in Angular, and it turned into this feature-rich gorgeous application with custom-built graphical statistic tracking, in-app social networking capabilities, robust user profiles, etc.

Eventually, we no longer had time to work on it along with all the other applications we're developing. So we passed ownership of the app over to a couple of other developers on our team. You'd think that they'd just work off what we already built and keep the robust environment we created for them. But nope, instead of keeping everything we already built, they scrapped it all and started from scratch using React instead of Angular, and removed all of those robust features and turned the app into a shell of its former self. No more statistic tracking, no more social networking capabilities, no more fancy user profiles. Just a single page with a number representing how many "Good" tickets you've sent to us, and how many "Bad" tickets you've sent.

1.5 years and hundreds of hours worth of work, all gone and replaced with the most rudimentary basic React app ever.

Working on a 92 hr estimated task for a client. Client adds 3 urgent tickets from another unrelated task and asks to finish those ASAP.
I do my best and it takes 3 full days to to complete the urgent tickets.
Today I receive a mail from the project manager stating how I'm behind the deadline on the original task and how I should complete it within the deadline date however possible.
Shaking my head.

So what's up with some devs, QAs and managers that create bug tickets with little to no information on what is the actual bug? I can semi-understand in the case where you document it only for you to read later.

Fuck you if you think that a ticket with only a title saying "fix all the bugs for this release" or "this feature is not working" is an appropriate way of documenting a bug.

Fuck you even more if when you are being asked to provide more info to reproduce the issue so someone else can actually be sure it is fixed or not (environment, steps, expected result, actual result, etc.), you simply say that you don't have the time for it and documenting tickets is a waste of time.

Hiring YOU was a waste of time!

Our stand up takes an hour everyday.

Explanation: everyday the same two guys pretty much hijack stand up by talking about tickets that ONLY involve them and has no relevance or dependency to the 8 other guys standing idle. Eventually I suggest they take the conversation offline because the rest of us aren't required. Scrum master gets offended and looks at it me like I've just spat in his face.

Productivity out the window or am I at fault?

I refuse to write test scripts to tickets I fix.

I'm working on my tickets for Monday on a Saturday so that I can finish my tickets for Tuesday on Monday....

I need a hobby.

Moving tickets in the workflow to "Done" before going through the four testing stages.

The shitty trainticket-app doesn't sell me any tickets. Who the fuck coded this crap. I really tried hard to pay for a fucking ticket...

I've been struggling with some financial issues lately. I haven't told this to my family bc I am helping my mom with money, hat wouldn't help.

Sadly, I got two general tickets for WebSummit 2019 and I thought "okay, I am nearby Portugal rn, somebody of my circle could go with me and have some fun, I feel so blue..."

No one. Not a single one. Nobody.

"Maybe with those Telegram groups of JS developers..."

No one.

Maybe it sounds like some fraud or something, so they didn't answer. I even mentioned to an old entrepreneur friend of mine, and he didn't even answer me.

Disheartened is the word for today. I don't know, I am not expecting that people can join this adventure just bc is awesome, we all have bills to pay, but at least an answer would be fine.

I know it is not a fun story, and there are people in worse situations than mine. I just wanted to do some catharsis bc I lost my laptop.

I still have bills, two tickets, and a new kind of miserable mood.

Thank you for reading.

First day back from holiday: after 30 minutes of work (excludes start-up, catch-up etc.) The P.O. (product owner) comes to me

Telling me I needed to switch project, ok I thought at least they switched the project from what ever it was to a propper OTAP street while I was away

Few tickets later the P.O. asked me if tickets x could be deployed to our test servers as well as production.. (note the ticket was already merged with our develop branch and he wanted only that single ticket x to be deployed)

WTF is the point of a OTAP street if you're going to deploy it to every server type at once?

So day one after my holiday I already needed to fight the P.O. again

At least I wasn't disturbed during my vacation... Witch is a first.

!Rant

CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"

... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly

when your project manager makes you redo the same tickets over and over because she keeps messing up her usability tests

So I was just informed I have 40 tickets with my name on them. No big deal normally except that I had no idea and was scheduling based on the fact that I knew I had 25 on my plate and most of them were OBE. How did I find this out you ask? Well rather than updating the tickets in our ticket tracking system, my PM updated a spreadsheet that is out in no man's land. So it looks like I have been doing no work for the last 3 months when in reality I have been busting my ass to get shut done and fixed. Why even have a ticket tracking system?

Contracting:

Con - It can be hella stressful and last minute, especially when contracts and agencies are a real pain.

Con - finding out you’re probably gonna need to go to site at like 11PM the day before, and train tickets are a fucking scam

Pro - Sitting in first class with a complimentary croissant and orange juice isn’t so bad.

Pro - Being able to finally travel to an Apple Store to get that MacBook you’ve been eying for a while because now you actually have to travel. 👀

I work on a team project for a test and maintenance course in University. We agreed as a team to adopt a git infrastructure that would prioritize the stability of the master branch at all cost by only updating commits up to the next stable point and tagging every single release. We have a long polling development branch to prepare our releases and we create feature branches for the tickets we need to resolve. I even wrote documentation to make sure that we don't forget and protected the master branch on gitlab from direct modifications.

Can someone fucking tell me how one of my teammates managed to fuck over all of this and work on an unfinished feature straight on master?

N.b. I know that he probably edited straight from gitlab's online text editor because they have a big where they don't restrict modifications on protected branches.

Everytime you tell yourself "This time I'm going to make them stop putting the cart before the horse again!!! No more forced shit implementations!!! NO MORE ! I'm strong!!"

The last hour in the next week:
- Selinux: off
- Firewall: Any-Any
- Application data: Everything installed on OS disc.
- Documentation: At best, someone remembers the server supposed-to-be dns record
- Service Accounts: Your domain admin account and sysadmin for databases.
- Patching: DON'T EVER THINK ABOUT IT..AND NO REBOOTING! I have set very important runtime variables.
- Backup: Maybe someone else will set this up.
- Monitoring: Not needed since clients will create tickets if system fails.
- Production Status: vague at best. Sort of silently transitioned to production.
- Handover status: Probably, but I quit before the project closed.

!

I love coding. I enjoy the clickety-click of my keyboard and the joy of creating code that does something, to help the world be a better place. So why does upper management feel the need to bog me down in process paperwork, tickets to count my widgets, and endless endless emails and spreadsheets to prove that I have work to do. What are the time savings, priorities, cost avoidance... Blah blah blah... #IdRatherBeCoding :)

Project Manager logic (the best kind).

PM: Here are a list of the tickets we need to address next.

Architect: Hang on, didn't X raise a number of critical bugs yesterday? They were serious, we need to fix the critical bugs first.

PM: ... but he marked them all as critical

(so that means they aren't an issue? cool, i've been doing this wrong all my life)

Well then...
I just wanna buy some tickets >:V

Don't need Netflix when you have a production deployment right before a long weekend. It has failed since last two weeks due to vulnerabilities present in one of libraries(P.S. FUCK JAVASCRIPT and Post release vulnerability scans!). You have rewritten the whole functionality from scratch twice! Security gates finally open for you, welcoming with arms wide open. So you click Deploy! DAFUQ!! FUCK MY LIFE! Deployment failed! It's only a 3 hour window to deploy! You frantically re-review your code, is it me?? Not again!! It isn't! Well, why is the deployment failing, you work against the clock. Going through configs, code, documentation! WTF is it?? Should I give up and raise a support ticket? Nope! You login to the server, sifting through logs and configs, there's a couple of other tickets with today's deadline. What are you going to do? And you get a hint! You take the hunch, change the config 5 minutes before deadline!
Get merge request approved, wait for the build, hit DEPLOY!! Nail biting 3 minutes! Your eyes fixed on the logs! Building..... Pushing instances..... Starting App..... SUCCESS!!! Finish the remaining tickets! Your long weekend still exists!

Get a ticket for a low priority bug, reported internally. Fix the issue mentioned in the bug.

Moves to QA environment, the original bug reporter tests and *passes* the ticket.

Moves to Staging environment, same exact individual then *fails* the testing. Cites totally new/unrelated changes that need to be made.

Apparently our the workflow is -

Code->QA->Staging->Requirements

Makes sense! :)

Talking about Deutsche Bahn ticket buying not working, but the NS sends me emails with non-functional buttons to press in order to get my ticket. What a train wreck

I just found out our junior dev has not been reading any of her e-mails coming from JIRA.

So when her tickets were being pushed back / commented on, she had no idea.

Testers who find an issue that prevents execution of an early step common to many scenarios, who then dutifully create 150 tickets to fail each scenario individually, crowing on about how many issues they've found

When youre hired as a programmer and you miss programming. you code at home Because your work wont let you. Too many documents to create, too many tickets(IT operations) to create and too many phone calls(follow up on IT operations).

It feels like im wasting my days on a job that i dont care. Thank God for self projects.

Love it when PM/business adds a bunch of extra tickets on the last week of a 3 week spring.

Or

I love it when business sends you a requirement, you build it, then they add more requirements that contradict the original requirements

That moment when agile means "I will sneak in new feature requirements in with your bug tickets even though our sprint is supposed to be only stabilization". Thanks PM Lord.

I don't get why certain people always complain about the OS they have to use at work... I get, that as a person who really uses aspects of the OS like a sysadmin or something like that, has valid points... but no... as a projectmanager or productmanager, whos tools are all browserbased... "in Windows I know where all the things are..." is not a valid excuse to hate on the OS...

What do you want to do? Change system settings everyday? Use PowerShell to create your Jira tickets?

Another fun thing. This morning one of the first mails i read was a issue about a bug in our software.

This was a bug i mentioned months ago but there was nog evidence where i searched like mails chats or tickets.

If people would just listen to me this bug was solved months ago but back then i got a reaction like: "works over here" while i tested it on two different instances with buggy results each time.

Agile my ass.
What has become of: "Individuals and interactions over processes and tools"?
A fuckton of rules and processes to do it the 'right' way: tickets, estimations, hours of sprint planning. Yeah, we're so professional we no longer have time to write code.

Note: manifest was mainly full of fluffy business buzzword bullshit (effective sustainable excellence), but one thing resonated:
>Simplicity--the art of maximizing the amount of work not done--is essential.

(I cherish every line of code deleted or unwritten, so it needn't be maintained)

Client had this great idea for a business where he would kennel dogs at his house and have a premium upgrade to the service where he would sell dog treats and other items as well as have a private members only area where they could view their dog.
My first question was "Is there any demand from your customers for such things and what type of budget do you have?"
His response was "I don't have much of a budget but I can give you some hockey tickets and give you a stake in the profit."

I politely declined. He didn't even have any cameras in his house to pull off such a thing, either let alone he didn't have a boarding license. Oh clients.

I really resent people who reduce the occupation to tickets. Our world is just tickets, tickets all the way down.

"well the ticket just says this, but that's vague, so what should I do?"

You either ask for clarification, or you get creative with the blank canvas you were handed.

"well that edge case wasn't called out in the ticket's specs"

this is _why_ we do TDD - to design our code to be able to function as expected for ALL cases

"is there a ticket to refactor that?"

what?! no, it's your job to always leave code better than when you found it (within scope/reason of course)

FFS we are not hired to be code monkeys or glorified typists. There should be joy that comes from getting to be more clever than the average bear and to solve problems and improve things with your code and logic.

shit bums me out.

*multiple tickets come in for the same problem*

me: well, ****

Please tell me why my boss thinks instead of just implimenting a language picker, it's a good idea to:

1) store the browser's language option in the DB only for new users, but only the first time they log in, never again.

2) never give existing users the ability to change language, and just default them to English.

3) deal with all upcoming language change tickets by having devs manually do DB updates ON THE LIVE PROD DB.

I'm screaming.

Got 8 tickets today and 7 of them we already done in production. Are all PMs lazy or am I just lucky??

No motivation these days to do any work from home. All I want to do is watch Youtube/Netflix/Hulu or play Valorant (fps shooter). I don't know if I'm just addicted to games again or if my motivation so low I just don't want to look at work. It all kicked off when 3 of the tickets I finished and got merged to develop were reopened by my QA person for obscure issues, then my PM decided to throw 3 extra tickets in mid sprint, and I just said "fuck it" and started playing games instead.

I don't know what to do. In the over year I've been at my company I've never done or felt this way while in the office. I've always got stuff done, but now working from home I feel very shitty.

I may have watched too much Westworld; I'm naming JIRA tickets with "Analysis - what caused the failure..."

"you need to check the tickets as well as ERP tasks everyday."

Dafuq? Aren't I doing that? And also, I'm busy working on other tasks, and he just keeps giving me more, and there's no way I can just simply fix all of them without enough time. 😠

My client installed a new proxy that severely blocks out most of their own intranet, including their IT service desk. We can't raise tickets to let them know and their email just redirects us to their service desk. Fuck me these guys are idiots.

So the train service has an app in my country to buy tickets, reserve seats etc. So doing corona the seat reservations has been made free, to limit the amount of people who travel by train.

So this morning someone/something fucked up the the endpoint to buy tickets/claim the seat that is required to travel by train.

So apprently whrn you clicked by the request were excuted fine and it id claim the tickets server side, but due to (i assume) an error in the response the app would return a error messsge and not generate the tickets etc on the app and nobody realized that. So people kept rebuying the free seats, so up to multiply trains had sold out all the free seats, so no one could use the trains who were full due to their policy.

Took the company at least a few hours to realize it.

2nd week on a new job, already been assigned smaller Jira tickets to work on.
But it takes me awhile to figure it out and close the ticket, coz it’s React and I’m completely new to it and I feel I have no idea what I’m doing.
Imposter syndrome hitting hard

Ticket waiting for code review for days. I have to rename methods.

Tickets goes again to code review. Waiting there again for days. Oops! there is something the code reviewer didn't see before!

Ticket goes to code review again, waiting for days there.

Boss comes to me telling it takes me too long to close tickets.

I leave work 30 minutes early cause I don't feel goid... In return I have never gotten so many support tickets in my drive home

Endgame has really bombarded their ticket booking servers

At my last work place I wanted to visit a Conference for a long time but my boss never even was interested in at least helping me with the price of the tickets.

Now at my new job 2 Weeks in and I already got tickets for the w-jax in Munich <3

I'm soooooo exited :D

to everyone who complains about poor methodoly usage:

I had a solo ptoject. I was told to do scrum. I had dailies.. with my PM. we were moving JIRA tickets around.

Today I went ALL IN

And also brought 3 lotto tickets

I just want financial freedom but the bills are just do expensive....

So i work in support (do dev stuff in my own time). Spent 3 months seconded to another team supporting in project clients.

First issue i had in that team was a client with serious data issues which took about 30 hours +/- to diagnose and write some scripts to resolve.

After they went live and got handed over to support they had the same issue again but instead of support picking it up they sat on it till i came back on Monday.

Ive spent about another 10 hours or so picking through audit logs. I get all the shit no one else can either be bothered or capable of doing and to top it off i didnt get the promotion i was going for because i hadnt closed enough tickets, because they keep giving me all the shit to fix for everybody else

Project managers moved all the tickets around and then got mad that we couldn't find them to log our time.

Mass mutiny about logging time in general and expected dev hours per week.

They returned the tickets to the old system at least

for my job I need to know,

Programming, C#, Optimization, Multithreading and Async code, Working certain tools, Reading difficult written code, Understanding, Physics, Networking, Rendering, Codeloops, Memory management, Profiling tools, Being able to make Jira tickets and read Jira tickets. Understanding source control branching, merging, push and pull. bug fixing.

And I write almost 1 line of code a week on average..

I'm a programmer.

FFS!
Handle your own support tickets instead of just passing them on to me.

RANT
SO FKING BORED. ALL TICKETS ARE CLOSED, NOTHING IN TRELLO. SITTING IDLE IS THE FUCKING DIFFICULT THING TO DO. IF I WILL NOT GET AN ISSUE ASSIGNED TO ME SOON THEN THERE WILL BE BLOOD SHED EVERYWHERE.

> be me
> complete tickets overnight
> submit for review
> takes 2 days to review
> still no word
> more tickets raised with incomplete information
> ???
> profit

Mentoring someone in iOS from scratch, then teaching him how to maintain 3 different apps. He is able to maintain them without me now which is testament to how well I taught him, but it was challenging. Especially since I had to simultaneously work on other tickets and live prod issues.

Gotta love it when checking out tickets gives you the template screen 😁

After my second 12 hour day this week working on 4 little Mantis tickets that circled around for like 5 times...

Fuck computers.
Fuck technology.
SUCK MY DICK.

Have a nice evening everyone.

Covered on the helpdesk at my new job yesterday. The only tickets that came in were for me anyways so all I learned is that the back room gets pretty cold.

"Write the failing test first."

Oh, I know. This is probably simple, but when you're stuck on support tickets - there's no faster way than to write a test for whatever the issue is and run it.

You wind up having a quick way to verify your bug fix and you now have a test going forward to ensure the bug never happens again.

For some reason I find reading tech books a repelling activity. I'd rather spend longer hours googling SO issues, GH/GL tickets, reading blogs than reading a well recommended book on the topic.

But then again.. What is the difference between a series of blog posts and a book...? Not much of it. At least I cannot come up with how blog posts would be superior to a structured and many times reviewed book :) Many posts are lame or just skim through the topic. The same holds true with books too. So maybe it's worth getting that 200pages thin book instead..

I just took the "lead" over a small internal Projekt. I can not believe what they have done.

They somehow managed to use dependencies that are not managed by maven.
They 'used' the entire apache-commons library just to create empty InputStreams once!
And they merged unfinished tickets to the development branch which dont even work!
Did I mention that they all left the project in the middle of the sprint without saying a word and even without finishing their tickets...?

How... Why....

So the guy I replaced as the senior dev on my project (because he was lazy) is now trying to give me advice on how to cleanup my code.... This is the motherfucker who blatantly copies and pastes from one library to another and pushes the code without doing ANY testing and so I had to spend many weekends cleaning up his pile of shit code, and now I have 3 new tickets labelled 'style updates' that he wants me to merge in.... Fuck him, I'm not merging his code

Rant one of monday!!

Monday stand up meeting....

Reviewing jira tasks
Front end:" well, I dont think that is a priority but IM NOT TEST DRIVEN DEVELOPER SO...."

Jira task? Local env for testing in minikubes.

Ahhh the cool startup isssss sooooo cool he takes decisions about that, model the app or even estimates the deadlines of the product (the product not jira tickets)

Isnt it cool? Why not give that power to juniors? Why not tell them they dont need to learn and junior is just something they label to pay cheap for them?

If your small org has less then 4 dev teams and less then 4 devs per team. Just use paper tickets and tape. Jira sucks and is a lame excuse to hire 10 more people to manage it.

When your about to start development on some tickets you've been wanting to finish, and then MS SQL management studio poops out and you have to spend the entire day re-installing/fixing your SQL DB's... Oh and now behind schedule

Story Time: About Priorities and Sales

So at this point I'm working tech support for a company that makes some super cool networking equipment, think big data / data centers and such.

This company had grown at a good pace but the the support team had not (thus is the way for all tech support evetually). So I get a call from a frantic sales guy:

Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P2 ticket!!!"

Me: "Well the ticket came in 30 minutes ago, I emailed them some questions, but just so you know I have 8 P2 tickets, and 4 P1 tickets.... so it will be a while."

Sales: "OMG! Make my customer's ticket a P1!!"

Me: "Sure."

-call ends-

-30 minutes passes-

-sales calls again-

Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P1 ticket!!!"

Me: "Well I haven't gotten to them yet... just so you know I have 7 P2 tickets, and 5 P1 tickets.... "

Sales "ARGH!"

ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ

Well, the solution works on the co-workers machine. Checked out the same branch on mine and it doesn't work. Tried restarting the computer, and now the application doesn't start at all. On top of that hassle I have to deal with creating tickets for something that in the end took three minutes to fix, just to verify a change in our test environment. That email-communication took all week.

How do you guys keep your calm? Because I'm almost bursting from this, it's so frustrating.

Is it asking too much that a state agency use any kind of naming convention in their data management? I've come across about 7 different column names that all contain a value representing the number of students. Trying to decide whether I should send a deluge of tickets at their help system by submitting a ticket for every single row that contains any type of error.

We often give access to a product owner from the customer on our Jira to keep up a good communication and everyone stays up to date as everything is on the board and not hidden in emails or paper notes on the desk of the guy that is on vacation.

So far, so good

Our customers really like this as they can comment on tickets and they are integrated in the workflow because they can push into the backlog and can review finished tasks.

It is just getting better for everyone so where is the rant?

One project is just a dump of shitty mixed content tickets. But how? They look really neat. There are tickets like "fixes from meeting 20th of may" which are initially well structured with approximately 4 subtle changes to the UI and some explanation and screenshots.

PM says: Good ticket. There you go ticket, into the customer review loop of doom.

20 comments and 13 status changes later. Point 43 from comment 17 is referenced in comment 20 to keep on hold as a third party needs to give feedback, point 7 is still not solved correctly as dev 2 was not aware that it was already discussed and changed in the ticket "Call from 25th of may" where in addition the resolution of points 5-12 were requested with an additional excel file to import.

By now we have the 8th of august and literally 17 of these kind of tickets.

I guess we need to improve the workflow and request a new product owner. But this far I just table flip everytime I get one of these tickets assigned.