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** The most hilarious authentication implementation I've ever seen **
They stored password in cleartext, but never mind, this is sadly quite common.
For some reasons credentials were also case insensitive (maybe to avoid silly tickets from CAPS LOCK lovers?).
Then I had a look to the query executed during the login:
SELECT * FROM users WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?;
So I tried logging in with user "admin" and password "%"... and it worked!
I laughed all the day.31 -
Listening to Linkin Park while coding.
Head banging, foot tapping, just singing along in my head.
Then the boss messaged me, "should we produce some tickets?".
Apparently, I'm singing rather loudly.
Earth, swallow me up now.27 -
PROBLEM: A tickets' company came to us last autumn. They said they have severe performance problems and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: covid and quarantines. All events have been ceased, noone's buying any tickets any more. Performance problems are no more. FIXED.
PROBLEM: Another company came to us recently. They said they have severe performance problems with their huge databases and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: a few days of heavy rain and their datacenter was flooded. along with the backup servers. No more data, no more performance problems with large databases. FIXED
Solving problems genie style!
Who's next?9 -
First on the phone this afternoon and also a crapload of tickets.
*alright let's do some tickets*
*tringgggggg*
*fair enough, phone comes first*
*half an hour later call finishes*
*alright, tickets!*
*tringggg*
*alright phone first again*
*handles call, hangs up*
*Aaand tickets!*
*Tringgggggggg*
*oh come on I need to do tickets :/*
*handles call again and closes convo*
*Aaaand now: ticke... *TRINGGGG*
*oh come on!!*
*handles call once again*
*please don't interrupt me now, I need to do those ti.... *TRINGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
*fucking hell!*
*handles call and tries to stay calm*
*now tickets!*
*types reply, presses repl... *TRINGGGG 😈*
*OH FOR FUCKS SAKE*
*handles call once a-FUCKING-gain*
*if the phone rings now...*
*goes to the reply button again and: clic.... *TRINGGGGGG - GO FUCK YOURSELF!*
FUUUUUUUCKING FUCKING FUCK.
FUCK. TODAY WAS ANNOYING AS HELL.9 -
So our public transportation company started to sell tickets online with their brand new fancy system.
• You can buy tickets and passes for the price you want
• Passwords are in plaintext
• Communication is through HTTP
• Login state are checked before the password match so you can basically view who is online
• Email password reminders security code can be read from servers response
Oh and I almost forgot admin credentials are FUCKING admin/admin
Who in the fucking name of all gods can commit such idiocracy with a system that would be used by almost millions of people. I hope you will burn in programming hell. Or even worse...
I'm glad I'm having a car and don't have to use that security black hole.16 -
There's one kind of ticket I fucking love. Wait, YOU LOVE TICKETS?! No, except for one.
Tickets where people ask us to restore backups.
Why do I love them?
Because the only fucking thing I need to do is reply with a link to a helpdesk item on our website because backups aren't something within our support range because it's easy for customers to do.
So whenever a ticket about restoring a backup comes in, it's as easy as opening the ticket, pasting the link with "I'd like to refer you to the following resource: " and pressing fucking "reply"
😄16 -
We're using a ticket system at work that a local company wrote specifically for IT-support companies. It's missing so many (to us) essential features that they flat out ignored the feature requests for. I started dissecting their front-end code to find ways to get the site to do what we want and find a lot of ugly code.
Stuff like if(!confirm("blablabla") == false) and whole JavaScript libraries just to perform one task in one page that are loaded on every page you visit, complaining in the js console that they are loaded in the wrong order. It also uses a websocket on a completely arbitrary port making it impossible to work with it if you are on a restricted wifi. They flat out lie about their customers not wanting an offline app even though their communications platform on which they got asked this question once again got swarmed with big customers disagreeing as the mobile perofrmance and design of the mobile webpage is just atrocious.
So i dig farther and farthee adding all the features we want into a userscript with a beat little 'custom namespace' i make pretty good progress until i find a site that does asynchronous loading of its subpages all of a sudden. They never do that anywhere else. Injecting code into the overcomolicated jQuery mess that they call code is impossible to me, so i track changes via a mutationObserver (awesome stuff for userscripts, never heard of it before) and get that running too.
The userscript got such a volume of functions in such a short time that my boss even used it to demonstrate to them what we want and asked them why they couldn't do it in a reasonable timeframe.
All in all I'm pretty proud if the script, but i hate that software companies that write such a mess of code in different coding styles all over the place even get a foot into the door.
And that's just the code part: They very veeeery often just break stuff in updates that then require multiple hotfixes throughout the day after we complain about it. These errors even go so far to break functionality completely or just throw 500s in our face. It really gives you the impression that they are not testing that thing at all.
And the worst: They actively encourage their trainees to write as much code as possible to get paid more than their contract says, so of course they just break stuff all the time to write as much as possible.
Where did i get that information you ask? They state it on ther fucking career page!
We also have reverse proxy in front of that page that manages the HTTPS encryption and Let's Encrypt renewal. Guess what: They internally check if the certificate on the machine is valid and the system refuses to work if it isn't. How do you upload a certificate to the system you asked? You don't! You have to mail it to them for them to SSH into the system and install it manually. When will that be possible you ask? SOON™.
At least after a while i got them to just disable the 'feature'.
While we are at 'features' (sorry for the bad structure): They have this genius 'smart redirect' feature that is supposed to throw you right back where you were once you're done editing something. Brilliant idea, how do they do it? Using a callback libk like everyone else? Noooo. A serverside database entry that only gets correctly updated half of the time. So while multitasking in multiple tabs because the performance of that thing almost forces you to makes it a whole lot worse you are not protected from it if you don't. Example: you did work on ticket A and save that. You get redirected to ticket B you worked on this morning even though its fucking 5 o' clock in the evening. So of course you get confused over wherever you selected the right ticket to begin with. So you have to check that almost everytime.
Alright, rant over.
Let's see if i beed to make another one after their big 'all feature requests on hold, UI redesign, everything will be fixed and much better'-update.5 -
This is how my day has gone so far:
1. In car, see advert about hackathon
2. Look it up, see tickets go on sale in 30mins
3. Read more about hackathon, apparently tickets go within minutes
4. Get tickets, print
5. Printer out of ink
6. Accidentally deleted ticket, can't reprint
7. No more tickets left so can't get another
8. Spend hours with data recovery tools
9. Remember recycle bin. Reprint ticket
10. Cry
11. Rant on devRant11 -
boss: please look into tools that do X.
fullstackchris: Ah, here's a solution we can use!
boss: I don't want to use it because it is too complicated.
fullstackchris: ok, that's fine with me...
[one week later] boss: oh I found this nice site that does X, can we do X?
fullstackchris: YES, THAT'S EXACTLY THE SOLUTION I ALREADY FOUND, *AFTER* YOU ASKED ME TO LOOK FOR A SOLUTION, AND IN THE END YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. OH HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND?!?!
F*@#! *%*#8 -
Clients who keep calling in.
I'm a first liner and sysadmin, both (official title is Linux support engineer) so I do tickets+calls+server engineering.
It's highly annoying when you've got a busy day with loads of calls and I'm the first first-liner and I'm working on an important/high-prio ticket and PEOPLE KEEP CALLING.
Every time I can write like a few more words and then the fucking phone rings again aaaand so fucking on.
Your concentration is gone, workflow interrupted and my short term memory is shit so I entirely forget what I was debugging.
But, phone comes first 😞5 -
At my previous job, the person in charge of the Phabricator server didn't have a backup system in place. I yelled at him until he implemented one.
He had the server perform backups to the same drive. I yelled at him again, to no avail.
Well, after awhile the hard drive started failing, and it would only boot intermittently. After a lot of effort, he was able to salvage part of the backup data, but no more, meaning we lost a lot of bug reports and feedback, and developer tickets. We were able recover all of the older lost tickets from a previous server, so overall the loss was pretty small.
But I think he learned his lesson.
He definitely learned to listen.6 -
During the entire afternoon we had a ridiculously low amount of tickets.
Suddenly 'is this the real life, or is this just fantasy' popped up in my head.
😆14 -
# Day 0:
Me: "Hey boss, I want to let you know that I need this kind of information from the customer for these features, otherwise I cannot finish the project's milestone in two weeks."
Boss: "OK, just continue as far as you can get. We have to get this finished."
Me: "Well, I cannot go any further for these tickets. I need that input. Shall we leave them in todo?"
Boss: "OK."
# Day 7:
Boss: "Whe didn't you start on these tickets in todo?
Me: "As I have told you, I need some information."
Boss: "We gotta get this out of the door!"
Me: "Yes, if we want to meet the deadline, we should. Yet I cannot guess the feature. Also, let me create a column: `to clarify` and move that ticket there. As I have said: I need that information. You have to contact the customer about it and get their feedback.
Boss: "OK."
# Day 13:
Boss: "Why isn't this project finished? There are still tickets open."
Me: "You never provided the information I asked you about."
Boss: "I want an explanation not an excuses."
Me o_O: "This is the explanation. I was asking you on multiple occasions about the required feedback. You never provided it. See the columns name? It's called `to clarify`. We created it last time together. That clarification never happened even though I told you that I need it. I cannot do magic. I can only implement features, and while I can sometimes make intelligent guesses to their use cases, I rather implement their actual ones than my fictional ones.
Boss: "You should have told me."
Me: ಠ_ಠ9 -
Them: We really need you to fill out this sheet today with estimated release dates.
Me: I really need you to respond to any of the emails I’ve sent over the past week, asking questions about what these tickets mean.2 -
The universe has this weird magical power.
Whenever there are hardly any phone calls and someone mentions something in the trend of that it's not busy at all, we suddenly get overflooded with phone calls.
It's weird how this 'works' every goddamn motherfucking time. (Same goes for tickets)5 -
So some dipshit keeps entering his email wrong on forms and putting mine on instead (never met this guy).
So far I've received holiday bookings, plane tickets and payslips. I've already called his mobile and told him what I've received emails for and what he should change.
Still nothing, maybe I should just rob him blind for being so thick...11 -
Deciphering 10-20 jira tickets that relate to 1 feature which aren't linked in anyway beyond titles spread throughout an epic or 2.
Ah the pain of having to go through 200 tickets to find everything you need for a single feature.7 -
"Maybe the internet has an error”
Quote from my GF after booking tickets online failed, and on some level I feel like this is a very profound, relevant statement..2 -
FUCK YOU TICKETMASTER AND YOUR SHITTY WEBSITE.
Why can't you process my request during an EXPECTED WINDOW OF HIGH TRAFFIC?!
DO YOU EVEN LOAD BALANCE, BRO?!
I missed my chance to buy some Hans Zimmer tickets for the ONLY time I've ever seen him listed in my city. I had the tickets in my cart, but it errored out upon checking out. Then, every other attempt to search for tickets resulted in an error.
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!!
One day, Hans... One day I will see you. 😢14 -
Diversity Support Tickets EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE
Because if you happen to be born a woman or you like men (or women or both or none - its up to you) you'll get that €399 ticket for free. Seriously? From when white straight man can afford to pay for the conference but a different skin, gender or sexual orientation cannot?
No hate - you do you, but from my perspective as a woman, I feel this is kind of unfair to all my male fellas out there.5 -
Adventures in security land, part II:
I’m getting pulled off the security review team and instead relegated to part-time security tickets alongside my usual dev work. (So, someone else finds them, i fix them.)
Guess I found and debated too many problems with the lead dev’s code. 🙄13 -
Intranet not working.
Delete certificates.
Still not working.
Ask IT.
You need to create ticket to delete certificates.
IT site is in intranet.
Intranet not working.
Ask IT to create ticket.
They can't create tickets for users.
FML
Just another day in corporation.1 -
Wanna attend the developer conference?
White and male? Pay half a grand.
Female? Black? LGBTQIA? You get a free ticket!
Seriously, how would they verify if you are gay?
It appears to me that it's easily exploitable.53 -
Pet peeve:
Putting screen shots in Word documents, then attaching the doc to tickets.
Mucking forons.5 -
I'm working with a customer named Clint.
I realize now that over numerous tickets I started mistyping his name... just every god damn time.
Guess what letter I left out?
Nice guy for not correcting me ... extra fast ticket response for him now.7 -
Riverbed...the software cost USD $120,000+ and their support was horrible.
Tickets would go unanswered.
Their documentation was pretty good but there were parts that were wrong and they would not fix it.
They would usually close an issue because it was opened by someone else 5 years prior and hadn't been fixed.
The several years I used it their releases consisted of no tangible code enhancements.
Several times we provided very simple reproducable issues and there response was basicly "just don't do that".2 -
Today I got a ticket.
Last comment:”It’s urgent.”
Scrolled down the tickets history. Opened 21st March 2020
I joined them company July 20203 -
I was asked to mentor a new joinee.
As she is new i dont mind the bad code and offer suggestions in code reviews.
She doesn't know how to use .map, .filter and lots of other basic js stuff.
Claims she has completed work on tickets when it's clearly not completed.
I end up looking like an asshole for pointing out her incomplete work before her long leave.
Find out she's actually getting paid significantly more than me as she's an 'experienced frontend dev'.
Fml12 -
I GOT A PROPER DEV ROLE!!
The days of bemoaning the quality of devs on a product and logging tickets that never get addressed are coming to an end!
Edited: autocorrect changed it to "loving", somewhat optimistically7 -
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches to working on it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Switches team member to it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Gets dev team to help with it.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Asks CEO to help on ticket.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Cries.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* Prays to Mecca.
* Urgent support ticket comes in.
* ...
I then find out two more urgent support tickets are about to come in.
And then another one.
Help.
4 -
Two new coworkers step in. HR hasn't set up their accounts yet. We create all necessary tickets and wait. A week has now gone by. New guys are just sitting there reading documentation. Call HR
- We are currently processing the request.
- But what is taking so long?
- The request needs to be approved in 4 steps by people on higher and higher levels.
- What level is it currently on?
- Two
*Rage quit*2 -
The sell: “become a designer, change the world”
The reality: “become a designer, create Jira tickets for devs to fix stuff you’ve noticed” -
Me: *Killing tickets like there's no tomorrow*
Others: Doing nothing.
Manager: Well, since you are closing tickets here are some from your coworkers.7 -
This one crazy:
We made an app for our client to scan some parcels via barcode.
They just created a ticket, for complaining that it's hard to scan in the storage room, because it's so dark. They are like sometimes we need to use a torge to scan. Can you increase the contrast of the app or something to scan better in darker place.
Did not know what to answer, but my thoughts were like: why the fuck you don't put enough light in that room?! 🤔🤷🏽♂️6 -
I hardly use Windows, but had to book tickets using my friend's laptop who only had Windows.
So I switch on my mobile data, and the stupid shit just ate up all my data in updating Windows without even asking for permission 😣
Learnt my lesson23 -
Best coworker I've had and still have is a girl I've met in training. Whenever our shifts overlap I work best. Last time this happened we watched Pink Floyd's The Wall while solving tickets and taking chats. Other times we rock out to music and every time we laugh at some customer's way of describing their issue. She also has a great lifestyle, she's an actress and she's got loads of fun stories to tell.
P.S. Hello, world!8 -
Let me paint you a picture.
It's the day after code freeze. Code has been branched. It's time once again to verify tickets and run smoke check so we can begin our 3 days of blitz testing before we deploy.
As a team we all have roles to play in this process. Yet, every stinking release it is like pulling teeth to get everyone to take the initiative and verify tickets and run smoke check. Our principled engineer even reached his limit this morning and blew up on everyone.
When you are being paid good money to do a job, you need be an adult, be responsible, step up and do your job!2 -
Yesterday I had an interesting interaction
- I complain about not having tickets for something, as it makes it unclear who needs to do what
- manager tries to call out on me for “not giving precise infos”
- A frustrating argument starts, ends up with manager defending himself telling we need a meeting with [other team] to sync on infos that are not clear
- meeting starts, manager starts to make a buffoon about himself
- other dev out of nowhere tells that the manager is not giving the task to him for some reason
- other manager is speechless at our manager’s incompetence
Managers.😎1 -
when i was fired as an external contractor with half an hour notice, because i didn't process enough tickets. I didn't process many tickets because:
1. In the morning everyone grabs tickets just to stop the timer.
2. I worked on some complicated tasks that involved multiple third and fourth parties(not to forget an fucking dropping firewall)2 -
Switched jobs one month ago.
Used to work overtime on complex features, every engineer was 10x, learned a bunch, worked my ass of everyday. Switch due to overtime and because I wanted more personal time.
Anyways, at the new job I’ve completed two tickets in a month, code is shit, no one cares about the quality, scalability, etc. I’m payed 2x more and I currently work max 3 hours a day. Feels weird AF. I guess I got what I wanted, but didn’t know back then that professionally I’m going to degrade. Didn’t happen yet, but I can see that in the future.
🤷🏻♂️8 -
"I'm getting an error. It's just not working right."
Stupidest. Bug. Report. Ever.
Please stop wasting our time with tickets like this people, it only requires is to then spend more time just figuring out what the issue is.
🙄🔫4 -
I'm so annoyed.
I completed the development and testing for one of my tickets last Wednesday. I assigned it to our QA on the same day. Now that we have to deploy it, he's bugging me about some failing test cases.
I'm so fucking glad that I updated that ticket with all the details before assigning it to him. I don't have to speak because the ticket speaks for itself but still, I'm pressured to work on that fix fast but you know what? Fuck you. I'll take my damn time. -
Why is diversitytickets.org still up?
In my opinion, diversity != giving free tickets to people because of something they didn't choose, like being female, black, or LGBTQ+ And as @finiteAutomaton said, how would they know if you're, for example, gay?
If you *really* want to get other groups into technology, why not do it from the education level? Make sure everyone gets the same chances if they don't. Introduce role models to students, maybe.
Why not something else instead of just 'You're {black, female, LGBTQ+}, so you can apply for free conference tickets.'27 -
Yesterday the boss told me he wanted to extend my contract and that everybody was happy to have me around. Processes are rolling fast, I almost had no downtime, tickets are always in the right column, couldn't be happier.
Next project will be a well known UK old pirate radio website10 -
PM: “please close as many tickets as possible before the end of sprint tomorrow, we haven’t done enough story points”
Ticket driven development? I’m not sure if this is how agile is supposed to work.12 -
I swear, if I ever were to develop a support ticket system, I'd require credit card credentials for P1 tickets - "for covering potential costs to get the developer to the computer at this point in time". Let's see how many of your fucking tickets are Business critical after all!6
-
The Hungarian public transport company launched an online shop (created by T-Systems), which was clearly rushed. Within the first days people found out that you could modify the headers and buy tickets for whatever price you set, and you could login as anyone else without knowing their password. And they sent out password reminders in plain text in non-encrypted emails. People reported these to the company which claims to have fixed the problems.
Instead of being ashamed of themselves now they're suing those who pointed out the flaws. Fucking dicks, if anyone they should be sued for treating confidential user data (such as national ID numbers) like idiots.3 -
Gaming community of mine launched their slick new website with their new "ticket system" where people could put in tickets to get help by volunteers.
2 hours and an approval by one of the admins later I managed to inject forge http request into literally every form on that side. Modify permissions, delete users, edit tickets, put invalid values into every attribute of them... In other words break everything.
Turns out the whole thing was coded as a first time project by a person who has no clue about web development and noone is in charge of anything really. There are no requirements, no beta testing, no version control or backups, but at least they had a hard deadline. 🤣
Still not sure if I wanna fix their shit and do it properly or just enjoy seeing it crash and burn.5 -
There’s a special place in hell for fuckwits who create tickets and don’t include the fucking error message.8
-
Be me...
Coding and refactoring...
Very focused...
Until...
.
..
…
….
METALLICA COMING TO AUSTRALIA 🤘🤘🤘
….
..
..
.
Forgot what I was doing... But I know what I will be doing next week... GETTING THOSE VIP TICKETS 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘2 -
Project Manager comments on all my on-going tickets "any updates?"
And the project manager gets awarded "most productive"
While the tickets I've been assigned can't be closed in just a day
smh4 -
We worked with that freelancer some time ago. Most talented coder I've ever known. Coding for only 3 years, and only 1 technology, but technical thinking already up to par with my own 15+ years of experience. Very rude but to the point. We loved it - "one of us". We hired that asshole for different remote projects over 20 times in 3 years. We send spec, answer questions, collaborate on chat, review work on svn, add tickets, get solutions. After about a year working like that we had minor issue with finance that revealed our prized freelancer is a chick.
Changed nothing.5 -
sitting with friends and trying to book movie tickets online. the cinema simulator shows all good seats as booked. Me: "don't worry guys". open inspect element, changing the seat image from booked to available. now everybody think im hacker... :)5
-
Off to the funeral of a family member of mine today. He was one of us, a developer for a cool little startup in London. I'd much rather be wrestling with bugs and support tickets today 😔5
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TL;DR : 38837+ stargazers repo thought it is cool to design snow on top of their UI buttons, and also changed their titles to “Ho ho ho”. Received "This is not good for production!!!" issues tickets.
People from /r/programming or devs from China or react devs might know this story by now.
Story : http://blog.shunliang.io/frontend/...
Lesson of the story : Do not go crazy extent for cool things for your product.9 -
Two of them, both are not very extrem.
Positive one first:
Meetings were usually not dead serious (unless there was a problem), everyone just joked around a little, made their actual points and got back to work.
Now the other one:
A client's QA staff commented "this bug is still occuring" on 5 tickets, without checking if they ever deployed the new release candidate.
They didn't deploy the new RC, so of course, the bugs couldn't have been fixed on their side.2 -
A Visual Studio solution that had 62 (SIXTY TWO) projects for a webpage that was like 8 user forms total was like going to a shop to buy 3 items and receiving 15 tickets for that.
PMs saying no to refactoring due to not having enough time for a months. The first task took me 2 days just by fixing cyclic dependencies among the libraries. Went home and merged all the projects to just 3, building instantly in just two hours. Fuck idiot PMs that do not know how to code, buys shit and don't listen to devs. Fuck all idiots.4 -
Got a few Jira tickets reassigned to me because the dev who was supposed to work on them got stuck on another project. It's fine, that happens.
I open the tickets. No descriptions for all of them. No screenshots for those reported as bugs, nor any replication steps. No attached test cases or, well, ANY useful information.
I talk to our BA, he says that all information I need are in OTHER tickets on ANOTHER BOARD that business manages but I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO. Honestly, these shitfucks could've just done simple copy/paste. But nooooo...
So I reassign all the tickets back to their original reporters (business testers) with comments requesting more information.
It's been a week. Now I have no idea what to put in my time sheet.1 -
In order to reduce support costs, manager instructed his team to remove all logging/reporting of errors in the company’s CRM application.
Team’s support tickets went down 80%, manager received an award for his efforts, but mysteriously, DBA/support workload increased, bad/missing data,
increased support tickets in other areas of the business (shipping, etc. that relied on correct data from the CRM) and other side-affectual behavior.
Even after pointing this out this correlation, showing before/after code, no one believed the two were related and I was accused of not being a ‘team player’.
“You and the other teams need to learn from his example!”. As ‘punishment’ was I was moved to the team managing the CRM application.1 -
In an application that everyone in production floor used... I made some "improvements"... Next I know I get tons of tickets because is really slow... Like 20 minutes waiting and it doesn't load... I try with my user in their computers and it loads instantly... Puzzled... After trying in many computers my user loads instantly... Oops... I left a if(user = "me") skip all active directory checks 🙄... Made all production floor lose about 3 hours 😆 because I didn't believe 😛2
-
*me and my manager, during my appraisal meeting
me: *talks about work done in previous project, and the current one under him
manager: but your JIRA throughput is very less.
me: the tickets which I pick are more research oriented and almost always take more time than the other config- fix type ones, and due to me being shifted from another team, there has been an increasing learning curve, I realize that, but...
manager: look at Jack, his throughput has been consistently high.
*me, after realizing my appraisal has obviously gotten affected and this discussion will lead nowhere
me: I would like to have a chat with HR before I sign the form with the percentage increment you are offering.
*me, with hr the next day
hr: your manager tells me that your throughput has been less than satisfactory.
me: *goes on to explain about the type of tickets I have been working on, along with other enhancements done to make people's lives easier
hr: but the throughput...
me: where the f**k do I sign?2 -
I used to work on a production management team, whose job was, among other things, safeguarding access to production. Dev teams would send us requests all the time to, "run a quick SQL script."
Invariably, the SQL would include, "SELECT * FROM db_config."
We would push the tickets back, and the devs would call us, enraged. I learned pretty quickly that they didn't have any real interest in dev, test, or staging environments, and just wanted to do everything in prod, and see if it works.
But they would give up their protests pretty fast when I offered to let them speak to a manager when they were upset I wouldn't run their SQL.2 -
So I flew to California Saturday to see my daughter. It was fun, and I was glad to see her.
Now, when I bought my tickets, I got a flight that landed at 11:30pm, allowing me to sleep on the plane a bit, drive home, sleep more, and then wake up at 6am for work.
Well, that went out the window. Fuck you Southwest, Fuck you.
(I'm currently on layover in Phoenix)
-
Look here sir. If I have raised 12 defects on the feature you were working on its not a personal attack... I am not trying to publicly humilate you or doubting your ninja coding skills. We are on the same team. Just trying to make a better product that's my job as qa. So chill out with passive aggressive comments on the tickets.
You don't hear me making a peep when you take my name and say I missed the issue if someone higher up points out the same defects.1 -
Meetings, responding to emails, handling urgent tickets, etc. If I could just get four uninterrupted hours of coding in a day, I'd be happy. But I'm basically in meetings all morning and usually have at least 1 more in the middle of the afternoon.2
-
Clients be like, why the fuck should I bother to check last commits related to tickets when I can just bother the developer when he's about to sleep...
7 -
So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".
Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.
Can comeone please fire this guy?1 -
Ever since I gave a heads-up that I will be gone until next year, the number of new tickets on my plate have increased. I hope you don't really expect me finish all of these before I go. I mean I planned to but after that other developer pissed me off by passing me an urgent ticket that kept growing, I lost all motivation to do so.1
-
It's sprint meeting day! Time to grab some coffee because it's going to be 5 hours of PMs ranting about tickets and progress. Yay!
-
When you get a ticket saying that a user can't see a record so the system must be broken, then after an hour of looking into it; said record never existed... Please stop wasting my time -_-
-
"Even if youre sick, you should have update your Tickets".
I did inform them that I'll be absent. I literally mean that I don't have to work for that. I don't even get to pay while updating my tickets.2 -
Teammember left. I did his three tickets yesterday. Before that I created and applied new rescue procedure for broken deploys on production and deployed the app manually. Took me about 6 hours to do this right, find the cause, and solve it, and document what I did. After that my teamleader bought me a launch :)
It wasn't his, my former teammate responsibility to bring back prd to life, it was me being good and engaged employee. His tickets, on the other hand, were his duties. Took me one hour to code them. He was working on them for two weeks. I can't wait for the performance review, im definitely going to ask for a nice rise :)1 -
App 1 and 2 is basically same thing and 3 one is app just for commuter trains, what don't provide anything extra for commuting that 1 and 2 don't provide. App 1 is really old and UI and UX feels from stone age. 2 is quite fresh looking and feels good. 3, well never used it.
But here is a thing, I use train to commute, but not commuter train (one that stops on every train station) so I use 2 now. But I can't purchase season tickets (1 month tickets) from any of those apps so I need to buy it from website. And website sends me a PDF file what has QR code ticket I need, yes I was logged in my account when I purchased ticket but still can't see on any app my ticket even though they have "my tickets" section.
So there is 3 apps what are totally useless for quite simple thing.
11 -
The amount of times I have read "I can't summit the application" in user issue tickets has prompted me to make this
4 -
To those able to join us in the Netherlands:
So you want some devrant goodies? We are having a (IMO) cool event soon.
"Collab - Digital Agency meets Cloud Provider"
We will go into various topics regarding; automation, CI, cloud, experiences and maybe a few things about clusters / kubernetes.
Everyone is happy to join us for 2 talks, beers (and maybe pizza!).
Last but not least we are able to give a way various goodies including stuff from DevRant ;)
You can order the free tickets at https://eventbrite.co.uk/e/...
I hope to see some devrant people there and make sure to hit me up if you will attend!
ps. if you have question, just ask away!13 -
I get back from Christmas vacation. I read all the unread emails and team chats, then go to work on my assigned tickets. As far as I can tell, those tickets are all I need to work on.
Then my boss snaps at me during our team catchup that I'm supposed to be working on a different set of tickets. Which were not visible on the board. Which were not assigned to me. Which nobody on the fucking team bothered to update me on. Of course if I point those out it'll just be a pain to deal with (especially since my boss doesn't seem to have my back, unless he needs something).
I thought my vacation would help me re-energize and get motivated again for this job, but coming back I'm reminded how unhappy I am now here. I've started applying elsewhere, but I don't know if I can continue to put up with this bullshit until I find a new employer.
Any tips or advice from folks who've felt unhappy in their job in the last year?6 -
I usually work in a two person team on a hybrid application we are developing, using AngularJS and node.
This normally works okay, because he handles the back end (he's been on the project since January last year, I joined in August as a placement student), and I handle the front end.
However, due to Christmas holidays and such, he's ended up taking an entire month off, and won't be back until the end of January.
I've dabbled in back end before, some routes and that for SQL queries, but nothing serious.
Last Tuesday our core service for the application that needs to be updated in real time broke and pissed off the API provider because we were hammering them with requests.
My first day on back end and this happened. I didn't really know what to do, and had to call my teammate to ask what to do. I essentially just restarted things, and left them as is, until I could find a solution.
From there, I had to mock the operation of the service (which is a complex enough beast) to figure out the problem, and find a fix. Our app more or less hinges on this service, so if it messes up, it's the end times.
All of this while flying on what I've interpreted because the guy that's on holidays was the only guy that knows more about this project than I do.
To make things worse, the clients are being very particular because they're waiting on investments and don't have money to pay our company. So, if they're paying for 5 days work, they're going to put in 5 days of project development. The problem is that their interpretation of 5 days of project development has not changed from when there were two people on this project.
There are 40 tickets in this sprint (ends Friday) and 35 of them are assigned to me. Granted, not all of those take a day to do, but estimates don't mean anything, I guess.
Ganbarimasu.2 -
My manager wonders why I don't respond to people in a timely fashion.
I'm watching 83 Slack channels and private messages, I get 45 emails an hour, I'm on-call, and I have 125 servers to monitor.
Number of Jira tickets I received in the last 3 days? One single fucking ticket.
Open a damn ticket and I'll shove you to the bottom of the backlog, just like everybody else... I mean, I'll be able to track your request and not loose it.6 -
> Get told my teams products don't work
> I say file a ticket so we know and can assist
> No tickets filed after 4 weeks,
> Team still complains my teams products don't work
Who else has mindless complainers? -
Getting "bug" tickets from customers complaining about EXACTLY WHAT I DESCRIBED WOULD HAPPEN. THATS NOT A F&)$*(%$(*# BUG, THATS LITERALLY WORD FOR WORD WHAT I WROTE IN THE TICKET LAST WEEK YOU F&#*(@#$() NEANDERTHAL PIECE OF SH$%*(#(*)!!! WE AGREED ON THIS EXACT BUSINESS PROCESS WEEKS AGO. DO YOU EVEN READ THE WORDS THAT I WRITE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA5
-
I restore retro arcade machines because I miss the day when the game actually mattered and it wasn't all about the tickets3
-
For about 1.5 years on and off, we've been developing a system to rate tickets/requests sent to our team. We wrote it in Angular, and it turned into this feature-rich gorgeous application with custom-built graphical statistic tracking, in-app social networking capabilities, robust user profiles, etc.
Eventually, we no longer had time to work on it along with all the other applications we're developing. So we passed ownership of the app over to a couple of other developers on our team. You'd think that they'd just work off what we already built and keep the robust environment we created for them. But nope, instead of keeping everything we already built, they scrapped it all and started from scratch using React instead of Angular, and removed all of those robust features and turned the app into a shell of its former self. No more statistic tracking, no more social networking capabilities, no more fancy user profiles. Just a single page with a number representing how many "Good" tickets you've sent to us, and how many "Bad" tickets you've sent.
1.5 years and hundreds of hours worth of work, all gone and replaced with the most rudimentary basic React app ever.2 -
how am i supposed to fix anything if they change the priorities on my tickets every 10 sec, like PM's change them, 2 min later MD over rules them and changes them again, so 5 min later PM's change them again because something urgent came up, but then another client starts ringing my MD so that client is suddenly priority
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG
I give up2 -
!rant
The perks of working in a medium large company with ~35 employees
Today there's a concert for Stargate, Alan Walker and Ne-Yo. Where we've made the video effects for Stargate.
Now we're having a summer party with our biggest clients, free alcohol and food. Later we're walking to the concert where we and our clients got free tickets.
Internal memo this morning, showing up tomorrow is not mandatory4 -
Saw new issue on jira. When look, they are like my computer is slow or I cannot any buttons in Excel.
For fuck sake, don't send stupid tickets, we already got stupid projects the company took from the others without consulting to the IT team.
There are about 600 tickets every month and most of them are issue because of their stupidity not the software (they never read the error message). And no we are not IT support, go ask those ppl for your computer issue.1 -
It's not like we needed this information board anyway, to help us monitor our servers, tickets and calendar.
Thats some microsoft quality!
7 -
*during sprint planning*
Me: so here are the tickets I'm taking in this sprint. I'll do this first and that second. I'm also keeping some buffer for emergency stuff
Manager: ok, this looks good. I trust you and will let you work in peace unless something important comes up. I won't micro manage you
Also my manager for every fucking day of the sprint: hey man what's up? Ready for sync up call?
THAT'S MICRO MANAGING RIGHT THERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU COULD CHECK JIRA OR GITHUB OR ASK ME IN STANDUP BUT YOU INSIST ON CALLING AND ASK ABOUT THE TINIEST DETAILS. GO FUCK YOURSELF SERIOUSLY9 -
Well, fuck.
Currently I feel like the personification of the term "thrown into cold water"
After I finished my bachelors degree, I started working on first of april. The first full-time job I had. Therefore I had some training in the first 2 weeks and after that I joined a project after easter. Fast forward two sprints:
Currently I am the only dev in that project, tomorrow is sprint review with the clients and I have to present like 5 tickets of the 10 planned for this sprint. Of my 8 working hours a day, 4 are planned for my self-training and 4 for tickets. Actually its more like 6 for training/reading/understanding the code, because its mostly a whole CRM I am supposed to develop... PM said another dev will join the project in one or two weeks. I hope the client didn't slay me till then..2 -
Our QA team love writing really awkward bug tickets
No reproductions steps
and every time i see one appear all i can think of is this
1 -
So for the past 3 weeks I have been reporting that the development on X tickets has been completed and are deployed for testing.
Testers, fuck it we are not testing.
BA: yeah ok.
So nobody is testing.
And this Friday evening BA panics, starts emailing everybody, we need those items tested blah blah..
Now he is calling the testers over the weekend for testing 😂
And adds few more changes to requirements. (WTF)
Says:- He will also be testing over the weekend.
IT team :- Systems won't be working due scheduled maintenance. 😂😂 In your face BA
IT people best timing ever🤘
Hope he learns some prioritizing.3 -
What the tickets I receive daily are like... -
“You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve been further even more decided to use even go need to do look more as anyone can. Can you really be far even as decided half as much to use go wish for that? My guess is that when one really been far even as decided once to use even go want, it is then that he has really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like. It’s just common sense.”2 -
The fact that buying a paper train ticket from automates in Germany requires you to write your name on it afterwards with a pen is putting me through a lot of pain.15
-
Contracting:
Con - It can be hella stressful and last minute, especially when contracts and agencies are a real pain.
Con - finding out you’re probably gonna need to go to site at like 11PM the day before, and train tickets are a fucking scam
Pro - Sitting in first class with a complimentary croissant and orange juice isn’t so bad.
Pro - Being able to finally travel to an Apple Store to get that MacBook you’ve been eying for a while because now you actually have to travel. 👀2 -
So I was just informed I have 40 tickets with my name on them. No big deal normally except that I had no idea and was scheduling based on the fact that I knew I had 25 on my plate and most of them were OBE. How did I find this out you ask? Well rather than updating the tickets in our ticket tracking system, my PM updated a spreadsheet that is out in no man's land. So it looks like I have been doing no work for the last 3 months when in reality I have been busting my ass to get shut done and fixed. Why even have a ticket tracking system?
-
Sometimes getting tickets from the clients feels like a Sherlock Holmes adventure. Figuring out what the hell they meant, tracking down resources that should be included in the ticket, so much fun. I need to buy a pipe and a spyglass.6
-
when your project manager makes you redo the same tickets over and over because she keeps messing up her usability tests
-
I'm working on my tickets for Monday on a Saturday so that I can finish my tickets for Tuesday on Monday....
I need a hobby.2 -
The shitty trainticket-app doesn't sell me any tickets. Who the fuck coded this crap. I really tried hard to pay for a fucking ticket...2
-
First day back from holiday: after 30 minutes of work (excludes start-up, catch-up etc.) The P.O. (product owner) comes to me
Telling me I needed to switch project, ok I thought at least they switched the project from what ever it was to a propper OTAP street while I was away
Few tickets later the P.O. asked me if tickets x could be deployed to our test servers as well as production.. (note the ticket was already merged with our develop branch and he wanted only that single ticket x to be deployed)
WTF is the point of a OTAP street if you're going to deploy it to every server type at once?
So day one after my holiday I already needed to fight the P.O. again
At least I wasn't disturbed during my vacation... Witch is a first.8 -
Our stand up takes an hour everyday.
Explanation: everyday the same two guys pretty much hijack stand up by talking about tickets that ONLY involve them and has no relevance or dependency to the 8 other guys standing idle. Eventually I suggest they take the conversation offline because the rest of us aren't required. Scrum master gets offended and looks at it me like I've just spat in his face.
Productivity out the window or am I at fault?6 -
Love it when PM/business adds a bunch of extra tickets on the last week of a 3 week spring.
Or
I love it when business sends you a requirement, you build it, then they add more requirements that contradict the original requirements1 -
Testers who find an issue that prevents execution of an early step common to many scenarios, who then dutifully create 150 tickets to fail each scenario individually, crowing on about how many issues they've found1
-
That moment when agile means "I will sneak in new feature requirements in with your bug tickets even though our sprint is supposed to be only stabilization". Thanks PM Lord.
-
So what's up with some devs, QAs and managers that create bug tickets with little to no information on what is the actual bug? I can semi-understand in the case where you document it only for you to read later.
Fuck you if you think that a ticket with only a title saying "fix all the bugs for this release" or "this feature is not working" is an appropriate way of documenting a bug.
Fuck you even more if when you are being asked to provide more info to reproduce the issue so someone else can actually be sure it is fixed or not (environment, steps, expected result, actual result, etc.), you simply say that you don't have the time for it and documenting tickets is a waste of time.
Hiring YOU was a waste of time!4 -
Get a ticket for a low priority bug, reported internally. Fix the issue mentioned in the bug.
Moves to QA environment, the original bug reporter tests and *passes* the ticket.
Moves to Staging environment, same exact individual then *fails* the testing. Cites totally new/unrelated changes that need to be made.
Apparently our the workflow is -
Code->QA->Staging->Requirements
Makes sense! :)1 -
Project Manager logic (the best kind).
PM: Here are a list of the tickets we need to address next.
Architect: Hang on, didn't X raise a number of critical bugs yesterday? They were serious, we need to fix the critical bugs first.
PM: ... but he marked them all as critical
(so that means they aren't an issue? cool, i've been doing this wrong all my life)2 -
When youre hired as a programmer and you miss programming. you code at home Because your work wont let you. Too many documents to create, too many tickets(IT operations) to create and too many phone calls(follow up on IT operations).
It feels like im wasting my days on a job that i dont care. Thank God for self projects.2 -
When the pull request
1. has 100s of files with commit messages that make a very little sense
2. has the source files sprinkled with duplicate looking code having enough differences to screw my visual diffing ability
3. has too many changes combined when they can be independently reviewed and merged
4. includes me as the sole approver when I don't have enough context on the changes
5. includes references to tickets without any description, justification for the change, testing methodologies, test results, performance metrics comparison, etc. Literally none. It is as if the developer wants me to work with them from the Beginning3 -
Another fun thing. This morning one of the first mails i read was a issue about a bug in our software.
This was a bug i mentioned months ago but there was nog evidence where i searched like mails chats or tickets.
If people would just listen to me this bug was solved months ago but back then i got a reaction like: "works over here" while i tested it on two different instances with buggy results each time. -
I really resent people who reduce the occupation to tickets. Our world is just tickets, tickets all the way down.
"well the ticket just says this, but that's vague, so what should I do?"
You either ask for clarification, or you get creative with the blank canvas you were handed.
"well that edge case wasn't called out in the ticket's specs"
this is _why_ we do TDD - to design our code to be able to function as expected for ALL cases
"is there a ticket to refactor that?"
what?! no, it's your job to always leave code better than when you found it (within scope/reason of course)
FFS we are not hired to be code monkeys or glorified typists. There should be joy that comes from getting to be more clever than the average bear and to solve problems and improve things with your code and logic.
shit bums me out.8 -
No motivation these days to do any work from home. All I want to do is watch Youtube/Netflix/Hulu or play Valorant (fps shooter). I don't know if I'm just addicted to games again or if my motivation so low I just don't want to look at work. It all kicked off when 3 of the tickets I finished and got merged to develop were reopened by my QA person for obscure issues, then my PM decided to throw 3 extra tickets in mid sprint, and I just said "fuck it" and started playing games instead.
I don't know what to do. In the over year I've been at my company I've never done or felt this way while in the office. I've always got stuff done, but now working from home I feel very shitty.20 -
So... I'm a DevOps engineer and I received an email from boss today wanting me to do "tech Ops" for next few months, basically tech support because they are having a shortage and too much tickets that they can't handle. *Palmface*7
-
!Rant
CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"
... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly3 -
Talking about Deutsche Bahn ticket buying not working, but the NS sends me emails with non-functional buttons to press in order to get my ticket. What a train wreck1
-
I love coding. I enjoy the clickety-click of my keyboard and the joy of creating code that does something, to help the world be a better place. So why does upper management feel the need to bog me down in process paperwork, tickets to count my widgets, and endless endless emails and spreadsheets to prove that I have work to do. What are the time savings, priorities, cost avoidance... Blah blah blah... #IdRatherBeCoding :)3
-
So the train service has an app in my country to buy tickets, reserve seats etc. So doing corona the seat reservations has been made free, to limit the amount of people who travel by train.
So this morning someone/something fucked up the the endpoint to buy tickets/claim the seat that is required to travel by train.
So apprently whrn you clicked by the request were excuted fine and it id claim the tickets server side, but due to (i assume) an error in the response the app would return a error messsge and not generate the tickets etc on the app and nobody realized that. So people kept rebuying the free seats, so up to multiply trains had sold out all the free seats, so no one could use the trains who were full due to their policy.
Took the company at least a few hours to realize it.3 -
Please tell me why my boss thinks instead of just implimenting a language picker, it's a good idea to:
1) store the browser's language option in the DB only for new users, but only the first time they log in, never again.
2) never give existing users the ability to change language, and just default them to English.
3) deal with all upcoming language change tickets by having devs manually do DB updates ON THE LIVE PROD DB.
I'm screaming.2 -
Agile my ass.
What has become of: "Individuals and interactions over processes and tools"?
A fuckton of rules and processes to do it the 'right' way: tickets, estimations, hours of sprint planning. Yeah, we're so professional we no longer have time to write code.
Note: manifest was mainly full of fluffy business buzzword bullshit (effective sustainable excellence), but one thing resonated:
>Simplicity--the art of maximizing the amount of work not done--is essential.
(I cherish every line of code deleted or unwritten, so it needn't be maintained)4 -
I don't get why certain people always complain about the OS they have to use at work... I get, that as a person who really uses aspects of the OS like a sysadmin or something like that, has valid points... but no... as a projectmanager or productmanager, whos tools are all browserbased... "in Windows I know where all the things are..." is not a valid excuse to hate on the OS...
What do you want to do? Change system settings everyday? Use PowerShell to create your Jira tickets?8 -
I may have watched too much Westworld; I'm naming JIRA tickets with "Analysis - what caused the failure..."2
-
Today I went ALL IN
And also brought 3 lotto tickets
I just want financial freedom but the bills are just do expensive....
11 -
Ticket waiting for code review for days. I have to rename methods.
Tickets goes again to code review. Waiting there again for days. Oops! there is something the code reviewer didn't see before!
Ticket goes to code review again, waiting for days there.
Boss comes to me telling it takes me too long to close tickets. -
to everyone who complains about poor methodoly usage:
I had a solo ptoject. I was told to do scrum. I had dailies.. with my PM. we were moving JIRA tickets around. -
Story Time: About Priorities and Sales
So at this point I'm working tech support for a company that makes some super cool networking equipment, think big data / data centers and such.
This company had grown at a good pace but the the support team had not (thus is the way for all tech support evetually). So I get a call from a frantic sales guy:
Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P2 ticket!!!"
Me: "Well the ticket came in 30 minutes ago, I emailed them some questions, but just so you know I have 8 P2 tickets, and 4 P1 tickets.... so it will be a while."
Sales: "OMG! Make my customer's ticket a P1!!"
Me: "Sure."
-call ends-
-30 minutes passes-
-sales calls again-
Sales: "OMG, where are with this ticket?!?!? It's a P1 ticket!!!"
Me: "Well I haven't gotten to them yet... just so you know I have 7 P2 tickets, and 5 P1 tickets.... "
Sales "ARGH!"
ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ1 -
At my last work place I wanted to visit a Conference for a long time but my boss never even was interested in at least helping me with the price of the tickets.
Now at my new job 2 Weeks in and I already got tickets for the w-jax in Munich <3
I'm soooooo exited :D -
"you need to check the tickets as well as ERP tasks everyday."
Dafuq? Aren't I doing that? And also, I'm busy working on other tasks, and he just keeps giving me more, and there's no way I can just simply fix all of them without enough time. 😠1 -
I leave work 30 minutes early cause I don't feel goid... In return I have never gotten so many support tickets in my drive home
-
My client installed a new proxy that severely blocks out most of their own intranet, including their IT service desk. We can't raise tickets to let them know and their email just redirects us to their service desk. Fuck me these guys are idiots.
-
Mentoring someone in iOS from scratch, then teaching him how to maintain 3 different apps. He is able to maintain them without me now which is testament to how well I taught him, but it was challenging. Especially since I had to simultaneously work on other tickets and live prod issues.1
-
If your small org has less then 4 dev teams and less then 4 devs per team. Just use paper tickets and tape. Jira sucks and is a lame excuse to hire 10 more people to manage it.10
-
So the guy I replaced as the senior dev on my project (because he was lazy) is now trying to give me advice on how to cleanup my code.... This is the motherfucker who blatantly copies and pastes from one library to another and pushes the code without doing ANY testing and so I had to spend many weekends cleaning up his pile of shit code, and now I have 3 new tickets labelled 'style updates' that he wants me to merge in.... Fuck him, I'm not merging his code4
-
After my second 12 hour day this week working on 4 little Mantis tickets that circled around for like 5 times...
Fuck computers.
Fuck technology.
SUCK MY DICK.
Have a nice evening everyone.1 -
"Write the failing test first."
Oh, I know. This is probably simple, but when you're stuck on support tickets - there's no faster way than to write a test for whatever the issue is and run it.
You wind up having a quick way to verify your bug fix and you now have a test going forward to ensure the bug never happens again. -
For some reason I find reading tech books a repelling activity. I'd rather spend longer hours googling SO issues, GH/GL tickets, reading blogs than reading a well recommended book on the topic.
But then again.. What is the difference between a series of blog posts and a book...? Not much of it. At least I cannot come up with how blog posts would be superior to a structured and many times reviewed book :) Many posts are lame or just skim through the topic. The same holds true with books too. So maybe it's worth getting that 200pages thin book instead..2 -
2nd week on a new job, already been assigned smaller Jira tickets to work on.
But it takes me awhile to figure it out and close the ticket, coz it’s React and I’m completely new to it and I feel I have no idea what I’m doing.
Imposter syndrome hitting hard3 -
I would like to meet all of you at the chaos communication congress. Who is onboard?
https://events.ccc.de/2017/10/...13 -
RANT
SO FKING BORED. ALL TICKETS ARE CLOSED, NOTHING IN TRELLO. SITTING IDLE IS THE FUCKING DIFFICULT THING TO DO. IF I WILL NOT GET AN ISSUE ASSIGNED TO ME SOON THEN THERE WILL BE BLOOD SHED EVERYWHERE.9 -
> be me
> complete tickets overnight
> submit for review
> takes 2 days to review
> still no word
> more tickets raised with incomplete information
> ???
> profit5 -
for my job I need to know,
Programming, C#, Optimization, Multithreading and Async code, Working certain tools, Reading difficult written code, Understanding, Physics, Networking, Rendering, Codeloops, Memory management, Profiling tools, Being able to make Jira tickets and read Jira tickets. Understanding source control branching, merging, push and pull. bug fixing.
And I write almost 1 line of code a week on average..
I'm a programmer.3 -
I just took the "lead" over a small internal Projekt. I can not believe what they have done.
They somehow managed to use dependencies that are not managed by maven.
They 'used' the entire apache-commons library just to create empty InputStreams once!
And they merged unfinished tickets to the development branch which dont even work!
Did I mention that they all left the project in the middle of the sprint without saying a word and even without finishing their tickets...?
How... Why....4 -
When your about to start development on some tickets you've been wanting to finish, and then MS SQL management studio poops out and you have to spend the entire day re-installing/fixing your SQL DB's... Oh and now behind schedule1
-
Fuck you Jira, for your shitty implementation of the board, which causes written comments in tickets to simply disappear.
You clicked on another comment during edit? Say goodbye to what you have just written!
You clicked on the send button to send your comment? Well, many things can happen with our overcomplicated pile of shit that we call Jira. So, your comment might get lost. Fuck you. We are complicated. This shit can happen. Deal with it.2 -
Universal rule of opening tickets
Me: *opens ticket on basically ANY ticketing system EVER* (could be internal, from the customer, some random bug online, anything...).
Me: writes detailed explanation of issue, because I know working on tickets is hard. Of course I include that I tried steps A, B, C, and that I haven't been able to do D because of reasons.
Ticket derp: Comments...
"Hey, have you already tried A, B, C? Also you should totally do D first."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I TAKE TIME OUT OF MY FUCKING DAY TO WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN AND EVEN FORMAT IT NICELY, JUST TO MAKE YOUR MISERABLE LIFE EASIER, AND YOU DON'T EVEN READ IT YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE BALLSACK!? FUCK OFF!1 -
So a ticketmaster security breach.
If you bought tickets using ticketmaster between September-2017 and June-2018 beware. Globally.
https://zdnet.com/article/... -
Another rant got me thinking about this.
There must be plenty of us on here who have worked as part of or with a customer support department at some point in our careers.
What is the stupidest idea you've ever heard with regards to support?
To start things off my last place had problems with support, over worked, under staffed and expected to support 12+ versions of the same software, some clients were running installations over 15 years old without ever having applied an upgrade.
The management decided that they would get rid of the conventional triage system for tickets, you know the sort priority 1 would be system down etc.
Instead we had to log tickets at whatever priority the client said it was. Customer report written by the client has a spelling mistake? Yep that's a P1.
Client wants to change the colour of their menu? Yep P1
As you can imagine that went down like a shit sandwich2 -
Not dev related but got offered to work at the Champions league final.
The tickets sold out within ten minutes and there's me making money!3 -
Using Java for the first time for a homework assignment in uni, everything ran properly the first time.
Gonna go buy some lottery tickets.5 -
!rant
In the past 2 days I worked a lot, now I slept 12 hours straight. I don't have any tickets left, and the manager told me to have fun. I haven't felt such freedom in a while.
(The project will be late by a year in February, so until now I always had at least 2 urgent tickets related to topics that I've never heard of before.)1 -
My manager always tell that we're less process oriented and self sufficient.
Later on, I understand what that means
- Poorly written JIRA tickets
- JIRA tickets with only title, rest for you to fill
- Two teams did same task, client side team pushing their change directly on master, while mine still waiting on code review will eventually get rejected
- Client writing raw SQL in ORM framework instead of using any single feature of ORM.4 -
We often give access to a product owner from the customer on our Jira to keep up a good communication and everyone stays up to date as everything is on the board and not hidden in emails or paper notes on the desk of the guy that is on vacation.
So far, so good
Our customers really like this as they can comment on tickets and they are integrated in the workflow because they can push into the backlog and can review finished tasks.
It is just getting better for everyone so where is the rant?
One project is just a dump of shitty mixed content tickets. But how? They look really neat. There are tickets like "fixes from meeting 20th of may" which are initially well structured with approximately 4 subtle changes to the UI and some explanation and screenshots.
PM says: Good ticket. There you go ticket, into the customer review loop of doom.
20 comments and 13 status changes later. Point 43 from comment 17 is referenced in comment 20 to keep on hold as a third party needs to give feedback, point 7 is still not solved correctly as dev 2 was not aware that it was already discussed and changed in the ticket "Call from 25th of may" where in addition the resolution of points 5-12 were requested with an additional excel file to import.
By now we have the 8th of august and literally 17 of these kind of tickets.
I guess we need to improve the workflow and request a new product owner. But this far I just table flip everytime I get one of these tickets assigned.2 -
Well, the solution works on the co-workers machine. Checked out the same branch on mine and it doesn't work. Tried restarting the computer, and now the application doesn't start at all. On top of that hassle I have to deal with creating tickets for something that in the end took three minutes to fix, just to verify a change in our test environment. That email-communication took all week.
How do you guys keep your calm? Because I'm almost bursting from this, it's so frustrating.3 -
if you are a good developer, been dispensable in a project is like quicksand: the more you try not to be, more important you become ... and you die choked by Jira tickets and anger1
-
At my new internship I am have to work in Magento. I come to FUCKING hate it.
From the phtml files, the choice between caching or having to wait 20 fucking seconds for a page reload to the huge file structure and the "documentation".
The whole fucking thing is a mess with a shit load of bugs and confusing git tickets that never seem to be added as updates!!!
Fucking hate this shit -
Covered on the helpdesk at my new job yesterday. The only tickets that came in were for me anyways so all I learned is that the back room gets pretty cold.
-
Last week I asked my manager a piggy bank where other employees could put money every time they open a ticket or make a call for something that is unnecessary, not concerning us or poorly described.
I am still waiting…5 -
Anyone in the Seattle area like to play escape rooms? I develop for an escape room company downtown and I can discount some tickets if anyone is interested.
Also does anyone have any suggestions for other escape rooms in the Seattle and Vancouver areas?3 -
Not a true dev rant but still thought I'd share:
Systems team installed new software product I've been asked to setup and test. Within 15 minutes of getting into the software I've already had to open two support tickets with the vendor. Fast forward two hours and I'm putting in a third support ticket. SMH.2 -
Project managers moved all the tickets around and then got mad that we couldn't find them to log our time.
Mass mutiny about logging time in general and expected dev hours per week.
They returned the tickets to the old system at least -
At my company we have a rule that ticket estimates can only be pointed using numbers from the fibonacci series. So 4 point tickets are not allowed!
We’re also discouraged from giving an estimate larger than 5, and told that tickets need to be broken down into smaller tickets if we think it’s more than a 5.
Also, ticket estimates must include the full amount of time for dev, QA, AND deploy. Given how hard it is to work with our tech stack, few tasks actually fit.
All of this may sound fine in principle, but in practice it’s extremely frustrating. I’ve protested a few times but I’ve been told I’m outvoted and nobody wants to reconsider the decision that was made sometime in the distant past. I was also told that “most other companies do it this way”, so therefore we have to as well.
This is the first company I’ve ever worked at which had this stupid rule. Is it this way at your company? Is this a NorCal tech company thing? I’ve worked at several companies outside of the SV bubble, and never encountered this.6 -
A colleague went on vacation, as the lead mobile engineer I had to cover his work. Switching between iOS dev and Android dev usually is fun. Integrated and deployed a dozen tickets for each platform within 12hrs.
-
No wonder the stock market is going up.... Commissions used to be $7, then $5, now $0.
Now everyone can trade... And appreciate since buying and selling one cost a few cents at most.... Even cheaper than lotto tickets with better odds...5 -
I love it when your team lead complains that you aren't getting through your tickets fast enough, but then you are blocked because his super fragile integration tests are on the fritz and the build is broken for days. Sure I could fly through my tickets if I didn't have to fix everyone else's shiz along the way!
2 -
QA people hurt my head. "I found this issue" cool write it up. Proceeds to not write it up. "Hey this isn't working" yeah your on the wrong PR. For the 80th time. "Hey I just found out 4 days after deploying this key feature is no longer working" did . . . did you test it? I'm irritated. Probably because all of my tickets got sent to triage because I pushed them to the wrong PR. My life hurts. The burn out is real.
-
My JIRA fanatic manager: log whatever you do during the day, even the smallest things are important. and you have all the material needed for next day's standup meet.
me, on a particular tuesday:
had lunch
peed thrice
bitched about an unreasonable bug raised by the testing team
listened to Rihanna's song Diamonds
had four mugs of coffee
, among various other things.
next day.
manager: so, ssup?
me: eh, didn't do much yesterday. was one of those down days I guess.
Guess who was asked to write "didn't do much yesterday" on all the JIRA tickets assigned to him? -
I was watching a video for some dev related tool.
It noted that "if you connect A and B it will automatically find the most efficient path between A and B".
I couldn't help but think about how that line might trigger a lot of well meaning devs to harass these poor people with tickets about "ackshually if you go through these 400 steps it doesn't always pick the 'most efficient' path!"
As another dev I'd be tempted to say "it does a pretty good job picking a reasonably efficient path... mostly, please don't tell me when it doesn't".
But that's why I'm not in marketing.3 -
I bought tickets for a friend of mine to visit me. She cancelled. I purchased travel insurance from Expedia. I have to now cancel one flight through Expedia, the return through the airline, and file a separate claim to get the money back. I hope they don't want me to prove she's sick, since she isn't (she's just a terrible person and I knew she'd pull this shit).
I hate the entire way the airline industry works. This is bullshit.
I hate the entire airline booking system.1 -
#!/bin/rant
I have two jobs, one is developing a web site with a CMS and the other one is the back-end of a web platform. I like both, but the first one is on front-end phase, which I hate, and I closed all the pending tickets on the second one. So I don't want to work on the first one but I have to because of the due date, and tomorrow I leave on vacations which means side projects,
Please fellow devs and ranters what should I do? (Quitting is not an option)1 -
I'm curious - how strict are you (or how strict is your lead / manager) about keeping stuff both detailed and up to date in Jira (both in terms of sprints & tickets)?
I've always drawn a pretty hard line with this - stuff in our Jira environment always has a detailed description, approximate estimate, is kept up-to-date with who's working on it, assigned appropriately, etc. But others I've spoken to seem to barely care if any tasks are in there properly at all.2 -
When you get a job that is advertised as a software development job, but you end up doing 80% software development and 20% help desk support tickets.
Sometimes I really hate this industry. Also, what is it with people assuming software developers can just wave a fucking wand and make shit work? FUARKKKKKK!
Free overtime when we're deploying too, fuck yes! I love free overtime!1 -
When non-technical Manager requesting for justification of each and every minute spent on work from the last two months, even after completing all the tasks and closing all tickets in time....
Most of the tasks that we get from my lead who is from onsite. My lead is happy with my work whereas my non-technical Manager thinks I am happily relaxing....
Moreover, he troubles even in weekends with same question ..
I still need to wait 3 more months to get out from this project.. -
Can anyfuck tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to do?
So I installed gitlab, reachable under a subdomain (gitlab.example.com) behind apache2. everything works fine.
Now I see this bullshit in my logs, appearing EVERY GODFORSAKEN SECOND: https://gist.github.com/nitwhiz/...
I disabled the bundled nginx in the gitlab.rb and no, it's not "some nginx system service", I verified it is coming from gitlab and oh - btw - some weird svc logfuck runs even after gitlab is stopped! :)
No I won't try your random google result because I read all 3 tickets being at least half relevant to my situation as ANYFUCKER ON THIS PLANET seems to use the internal nginx.
FML.16 -
script closing error-opened tickets from a customer using a tool which just repeatedly clicks on the same pixels over and over again... Error chance of around 50% if other windows open or the ticket window is resized a bit. There was a pretty high risk a real ticket a auto-closed with custoner-information by error...
Everything went well. About 1k tickets were closed by the script while I sat there and looked if it really clicks the right spots. -
I had fever for 2 days and finally after resolving my assigned issues/tickets yesterday, I called my PM for a MC today - my fever is still quite bad.
My name was still called a few time in group chats asking for updates, by the same PM, as if I am working from home.1 -
2X Tickets solved by rebooting the server after .Net Installation.
Client Default answer to: "Did you turn it off and on again?"
Always silence until you force the reboot after an server check and analysis.2 -
Can anyone else here do tomorrows tickets in your head in its entirety while you are showering?
All I have left to do tomorrow is right the code.2 -
When you get tickets assigned to you, does it have all the requirements & acceptance criteria? I don't, and it's seriously difficult to know when you've finished a piece for work3
-
So 90% of the Tech Support team is off today. So I decided to jump in to help the guys out:
Me: *solves issue
(one less ticket to solve)
Reporter: "thank you for your help!"
(re-opens the ticket)
Me: *recloses the ticket
Reporter: "thanks again"
(Reopens ticket)
Me: smashes head into desk
How am I supposed to get tickets solved when most of the open tickets are "thank you's"! -
Just learnt that some people in the access admin team intentionally back log their tickets just to tell people how busy they are.
But most request you raise in their queue doesn't get resolved unless you show up at their desks.2 -
Our client supposedly managed our Jira board yesterday in preparation for the release to live.
It was a mess. We have two people on this project - so our effective maximum workload is 10 days worth of tickets.
The current sprint plus the next have over 60 tickets in them, with the other "light" sprints having about 15 days worth in them.
I know you shouldn't get caught up over estimates too much, but they're in place for a reason.
The client really needs a reality check, and to be reasonable. When looking from a macro perspective he loses sight of all reason and scope, trying to grossly overfill what the two of us can handle.
A junior and student placement dev can only do so much.
I guess time will tell how realistic 16th April is.. -
During the past week, I've lost so much focus. It's difficult to keep pushing myself to care about stuff at work. I try to get some minimal tickets done and a wiki page out, but it's wearing on me.1
-
Daily life on this project: tickets are blocked by test env. Fucking impressive server ops team we have here, took a month to add 1 test user.
-
Every bloody time I work on a ticket and am about to be done... "git commit -av" Looking at the branch... Bloody hell, I am working again in master... Aborting commit. Checkout -b to a new branch... Committing... Going back to master... Merging my new branch into master... This exercise seems so pointless.
-
Support Ticket:
"OMG I DON"T SEE THE NEW THING YOU SAID WAS THERE!?!?!!? OH GAWD WHY WHY WHY!!!!"
setTimeout(fuckingActuallyLookThisTime(), 3600000)
"Oh never mind I found it."
God damn people, put some minimal effort in before you fire up tickets and emails or whatever.2 -
Soo... me and my best friend decided to go literally "wherever" by plane for as cheap as we can (<50€ per person for a return ticket) and I am looking for a service that offers a free API to search for plane tickets as it would make my and her life much easier if I could just write a program, let it run on my Raspberry Pi and make it send me an email whenever it finds some cheap tickets. I noticed that Google lets you search for cheap plane tickets, but is there an API (even unofficial) that I could use?1
-
You might think that getting your work done super fast is a good idea but it's really not. It takes QA awhile to test your tickets and give feedback. If you clear your sprint board, PMs will add more assignments... Then on top of that extra work, QA will give you feedback from your previous work. You now will be super stressed to get all of this done by the end of the sprint.
It is best to take your time and get it right the first time... I've also learned to make a buffer... which is tickets in my queue I've already completed but did not say I've competed yet. This way I can take extra time on tickets that need TLC and the PM team won't surprise you with backlog tickets. -
I am introducing the Thunderdome policy:
2 Tickets enter 1 Ticket leaves. (Aka 1 Ticket gets worked on the other one gets deleted.) -
We upgraded Zendesk to Essential plan as we needed atleast 4 agents(we had a plan with 3 agents that does not exist anymore). Annual fee rised to $240 per year.
After "upgrading" our 3rd-party integrations stopped working. I asked why and zendesk told me that we have to update to Team plan which costs $912 per year to get integrations working again (in our case, slack integration). Fuck that, fuck you zendesk. No fucking way we are paying ~$700 more a year just to get notified in slack about the tickets!
Looking alternatives...7 -
[semi-rant, kinda-story]
Day two: Managed to persuade IntelliJ IDEA into, uh, functioning.
Although it still does funky stuff like trying to force JDK v6 for bytecode compiled from Kotlin (the project's not even legacy spaghetti and JDK v6 isn't even installed).
Still had a few problems while setting up the rest of the local dev environment of the project I'm assigned to (which has been caused by documentation accidentally being followed in the wrong order, which I updated in turn, in order to prevent other people from doing the same mistake), but now I can finally work on tickets!
I love that not all tickets are marked as urgent or important, only a few!
Now the fun begins 😎2 -
Hey 10 new tickets for me today. Hey all 10 are Backend. I feel like i know sh*t. Let's just not do this and be bored instead.
-
We're spending more time shipping dud code to close tickets from our biggest client than we are actually working on the next release.
-
Today I swallowed my prestige and fixed three tickets with ugly solutions instead of going for the underlying mess. I don't know how I feel about it.3
-
When you have no more tickets on your plate for a sprint, do you usually ask for more tickets, or do you wait to get assigned more tickets?
I'm the new guy, and don't want to work too fast, but also don't want to work too slow.5 -
Is it unreasonable to refuse the tickets and to demand that the dev who came up with the God awful solution should make it work?1
-
My first job was partially support oriented. Had to work in shifts and just close issue tickets. Learnt Python, automated shit, only to quit it later for a better job :)
-
Knowledge management. My last job had notes recorded under closed tickets. Some people use hundreds of gdocs. Others have github gists some people I've seen just have sticky notes everywhere
How do you handle personal knowledge bases?? I want to set up some system for me and maybe my friends3 -
System Engineer who is adhoc scrummaster got all pissy when us devs did not transition their jira tickets when they merged with develop.
Jesus christ take five minutes, google it and figure out how to do it automatically and while you are add it add the fucking reviewers!
It’s a pain to do it each time!!!!
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!’2 -
Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk, last very fucking minute change requests, We're about to go to staging in less than 24 hours and now tickets are getting updates with
- Ohh add this title
- Oh make this configurable
blah blah
I think I'm gonna spend the night in the office -
How do you guys deal with interruptions / task-switching while you're deep into something?
Generally I don't mind quick interruptions if someone needs help with a shell command or a library, or some other quick ask.
But I had four full new priority tasks/tickets come my way yesterday, and for each one I had to pop open a separate workspace and juggle a separate conversation.
It's not the end of the world, but whenever I'm forced to juggle multiple tasks, I find I end up frozen and frazzled while I try to recalculate my priorities.
This is partially my fault, since I've sort of situated myself as the devops guy for a few systems, so I get regular tickets as well as systems/data tasks.
Any tips? Preferably I'd still receive the tasks, but just deal with them better.2 -
Just got my Maker Fair NYC tickets. Me, My Brother, My Nephew and my Daughter. Gonna be a blast. Just a little disappointed that Raspberry Pi will not be having a booth this year.
We won’t be hard to spot, we will be the group of nerdy looking people... lol ... if that narrows it down for you.2 -
When your about to go on vacation and the day before your PM decides it's the time to ask if a bunch of never before talked about complex features have been implemented in your application... I don't know are there tickets for them or how about documentation? No? Then No.
-
**sighs** push and deploy release on stagimg server at 1pm. Wait for 3hours for QA to provide feedback. The minute you start packing, 16 but tickets logged back to back with minimal steps to reproduce. FML
-
I'm currently working as a technical product manager. We lost a QE a while ago and I stepped into the ticket testing, happy path, and some exploratory testing for our tickets.
I had a friend from another company tell me to apply for a QE position. It's a combo product and QE position and I'm about 80% qualified.
Can anyone give me any places I can quickly and efficiently learn about setting up automated testing? I have some background in css, js, and html but basically no c# or other languages. -
Anyone here uses scaleway VPS?
The tickets I raised got deleted without any proper resolution. And that is shady AF. The tickets were attended by some customer support guy and he had told he would call to verify. But that never happened.
And now all the tickets I raised has disappeared.
I can't activate my account because phone verification is not possible since the code they never arrives3 -
My own version of spaceinvaders
One tool to unite all the shitty software we have at fucking work (tickets, address book, asset management, remote desktop, ad scripts) -
Manager complaining about why things were done in a 'different' (not the manager's) way.
If you bloody define your tickets better, this shouldn't have happened right!?
I wouldn't have to keep chasing you for details EVERY SINGLE F-ING TIME and I probably wouldn't have to redo and undo the same sh*t 4, 5 times2 -
What's the point of the Gmail API if you can do all of its functions with IMAP or POP3 and not have to have user login oauth, just account and password?
I wanted to read a company email account for certain emails related to our tickets. No one actually accesses this account, and the tool is without a GUI. As such, I can't use the Gmail API. I just remembered there must be a more ordinary way to do this because how does Outlook and other email software work? So python import imaplib and I was done in a few minutes. -
I consistently get help tickets that don’t involve program errors. It’s just “This data that was input is incorrect. Fix it.” And I’m still wondering why my company doesn’t properly train the actual help desk people to deal with this... why am I fixing data input issues. I went to school for this goddammit.. 😂😂🤬🤬2
-
Don't you love the neverending sprint?
You know the one that just inherits all the tickets from the last one? Each sprint packs on new cool features but along the way bug tickets come in for code you haven't even touched or wrote and you deal with them because they are blockers.
before you know it, sprint is over and ok to the next one. I'm pretty sure that is how this is supposed to work right?1 -
In work we have a ticketing system for changes etc. I try and do a bit of each at a time so it looks like I have loads to do... Then I finish all of them together and clear my tickets
1 -
Devs from company that develop/modify a service for us say "you can test on <env>".
Description of how to test: scattered across multiple tickets, comments and slack messages in multiple conversations...
Oh and please... Could you not directly merge 20+ branches directly to the dev branch without testing...
So much going wrong with this project... Already a month overdue on the first release... -
Hey guys! I have 2 tickets for sale to Web Summit November 5th-8th in Lisbon! Only for half price! If you are interested live your email or telegram in the comments below.
-
My first production support release is next week and its from midnight till 5am and be at work at 8:00am. If something goes wrong with any of the other developers from our team goes wrong I have to figure it out. And this image is exactly how I picture it goes, if any tickets fail. (🤘🏽 bring it on! )
-
When you've been handling multiple production defects and software PMR tickets for the last couple of months and the morning of a new sprint your JIRA/SCRUM/Kanban/task/whatever board is empty under your name. Feels good man.
-
Asking for a friend....
New job, fairly new to web development, very new to JS. I am failing miserable at my job can’t complete tickets which are mostly bug fixers created by testers. So I am debugging code that I didn’t write on a tech stack I do not know (ampersand, q, radio, lodash, react, etc)
Do I try to learn the language better?
or
Focus on learning debugging with dev tools and getting better at using the webstorm IDE.7 -
Ok, now seriously. Am I the only one bothered with all those fancy congresses and cool events that first open up the speaker list, rush you on buying the tickets, raise prices, and... AGES later, weeks before the event day maybe, they finally release what the heck they'll be speaking about?
I totally understand those who go to events mostly for networking, but c'mon event organizers, focus on the topics, no the person on the stage. They're just the mean to spread knowledge, NOT its own embodiment. -
Having to come into the office on the day after new years hungover and grouchy to do support tickets because everyone else took leave and you're a good boy that gets shit done
-
my job and morning stand-up sucks so much... i wish to explore various technologies, get better at my own skills and look gor better jobs / do competitive coding. But that one bloody question : " please provide your status for yesterday and what do you plan on doing today" this kills me so much. if i told that am free , they are going to give me some unrelated random work, or ask me to help someone else... wtf man... i did my job of making the code and the tickets assigned onto me. why am i supposed to other people's shit too???8
-
Ahh most of my development time includes, handling JIRA tickets and arranging them in their respective state.. 😅
-
When devs have to test tickets end to end in stabilisation week that have passed in previous sprints because the company doesn't want to cough up more than 2 QAs...
I am not a tester. This is bullshit.
(Obviously I e2e test my tickets during the sprint before deploying and passing them on to QA to test and hopefully move on to 'Done') -
I work my ass off on multiple tickets, some are even incomplete tickets from another dev in vacation. The PM team under estimated the time the client needing these features.
PM during stand up: I would like to thank *some random dev* for adding comments to his tickets. It is very helpful. -
I hate "giving away" my tickets. It's easier when it's involving something I just don't have access to, but really, really hard to escalate a ticket that I feel like I should know better how to work.
-
PM describes a feature in unfinished PRD, two clubhouse tickets, 4 zeppelin's, a Google sheet's I don't have access to, and slack messages.
Has the audacity to tell me I fucked up because the feature doesn't work the way he imagines it.
What the fuck is the point of a PRD if the spec changes MID DEPLOY!? -
Being greedy is good at some point, but when you're so greedy that you take up a project without any tickets (JIRA Sprint) and requirements over Skype.
That being said, managers should not get greedy all the time.
I mean when the previous developer left he made is so difficult(I am assuming) to run that hourly job, that it took me around
> 4 hours to fix spaghetti code still job not running,
> Fix missing parameters still not working
Finally said to the manager that the configurations are not on the server which are being used in the code. -
!rant
Agile devs— do you attend sprint planning?
I want to, but my boss told me not to go (waste of my time, he says). Only leads attend them, then they come back with tickets for the rest of the team. But a few other devs I’ve spoken to found that absurd, since attending lets you choose your tickets to a certain extent.
Do you attend yours? Is it crazy not to? Am I missing out? (I ask bc ours is happening right now— and it’s so empty in here!)4 -
This is so fucking stupid. Fuck. When they log defects on jira for different issues on the same page but in different tickets I end up having merge conflicts with myself. Like are you fucking kidding me?
-
me: this installation needs swap space on server
ops: we don't do swap space on AWS
me: ಠ_ಠ OK, what other solution can you provide me?
ops: here, use this real (bare metal) server we have
me: will it have all the same access and installed packages I had used on the AWS server?
ops: no, you need to create tickets for that
me: ಠ_ಠ -
Client keeps contacting me telling me customers are having issues purchasing tickets (events site). Stripe is picking up potential fraudulent activity (high risk).
We know the people who are trying to buy, and they're genuine. Anyone else having issues like this?
It's not happening a great deal, I would say maybe 1 in 20 times.2 -
Rant! When you live in a less technically advanced country, and everyone cheaps out on their software and hires the company that will do it for the least money and because of that it never works decently you can't reserve movie tickets on the cinema's site and get a SQL constraint error directly on screen, if you can't afford custom software buy a license for something that works out of the box ffs
(I'm goin' to see Star wars ofc.)2 -
Usually it's customer support.
We are a small team, so developers handle support, on a rotation basis though. But this is a hell lot of distraction because of the context switch. :(
Sometimes there are really disturbing tickets like how do I call this API using HTML? (*cries in spanish) -
How can I convince the sales teams that we need to pay off the technical debt in our app instead of compromising features with clients over and over again?
We are being bombed with tickets every week.
They say YES to every feature the clients want, without hesitation or consulting the dev team5 -
i fucking hate netsuite. it's bad enough that our fucking help desk tickets are routed through there now instead of jira, but now all our new software projects MUST integrate with it as well. all the fucking permissions between all the goddamn roles in all the systems is strangling me and preventing me from fucking investigating or fixing anything.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.1 -
Who wants a simple bash script for those screen recordings you wanna convert into a gif to upload to your JIRA or github or whatever?
https://gist.github.com/christhomas... -
What's your team's best practice when using JIRA (on premises or cloud) and VSTS or GitHub?
Who manages issues/tickets and are they duplicated in both locations? Is one for PM only and other for Devs??
We have both tools and I'm trying to figure out a workflow that doesn't kill devs and PMs.
We have Office 365 so I heavily use MS Flow to help (Jira bug turns into vsts work item) etc, but any insight from anyone who has a similar setup would be appreciated! -
Hey guys! I have 2 tickets for sale to Web Summit November 5th-8th in Lisbon! For you only for half price! If you are interested live your email or telegram in the comments below.1
-
I'd really like to know what kind of shit the guys at microfocus snorted when they developed uft. Who in his right mind supports only vbscript? It's cumbersome, ugly and depends on an Microsoft environment and yet the only way to get uft to work.
I'm honestly looking into plane tickets to Maryland just to slap anyone of those "fine gentlemen" with rusty garden chairs across their faces.4 -
The biggest distraction in all issue trackers is the hemorrhaging backlog of tickets that will _never_ be done, or aren't important yet.
This is why I just choose not to even bother opening it and let my PM close them out. :-) -
Had three jira tickets assigned to me, two fundamentally opposed each other, the third aimed to address contradictions in the first two. None of them actually had any description so after a day of trying to find out what needs to be done I've made little progress but a lot of sitting quietly with my head in my hands.
Now I'm getting emails from my manager on why they haven't been closed yet. -
When you open all the bitbucket emails you have to process after you spent just a half day doing your own tickets.
-
Heard an interesting idea: along with estimating tasks based on time/points, a dollar value should be placed on it by the product owner, basically how much money they think completing the task would bring in for the company. If this was based off of real data, I could see a lot of tickets being moved back into the back log.
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