Me: Coffee has more coffee than energy drinks.

Coworker: You're right, coffee does have more coffee than energy drinks.

Me: I meant caffeine!

Me: *opens a terminal in front of parents and starts a build script from command line. Logs start rapidly flooding the screen*

Mom: *whispers to dad proudly* “look at how much she has worked. Look how fast the lines are running on the screen!!

I didn’t wanna burst their bubble by explain them that their child is NOT doing any rocket science, and is something even they can do(maybe better).
So I responded back with a fake serious tone
“Yeah it’s all code.”
If only they knew what I was actually doing...

When you fuck something up with a customer and you very nervously apologize and they come back with 'apology accepted, we both learned something out of this!'

Thank you dear sir 😅👌

Newbie devs in 2018.

If any of you looking for a high quality & cost efficient hosting, I histerically suggest you take a look at this. They are A-MA-ZING!

http://www.nouptime.com/

And the award for the most fitting ad placement goes to...

Npm lol....😂😂

dev vision test

This made me laugh hard

Such dedication much wow

Client: Can you build a Snapchat clone but better?

Me: I’m going to say probably not logical given the resources they have and what we have, but for curiosity, what kind of budget do you have?

Client: $2500.

Me: Get out.

Girlfriend: What's your biggest fear?

Me: That machines take over the world.

Girlfriend: What?

Toaster: What?

My company is like:

Boss: How long do you estimate to make a universe?
God: 14 billion years.
Boss: You have 7 days. Please reserve 1 for Q&A.

Types of headache 😂

Sure I've said this before, but I was once asked to embed a video in a pdf so people could print it...

Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.

"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

1969 vs 2017

*walks to the kitchen at work to get a glass of water*
*walks back and continues debugging an issue*
*starts drinking from the glass*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*noticing that I never actually filled the glass*

😐

That "in the zone" moment 😆

That moment when a job ad introduces you to a new porn site 😂😂😂

You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about github...

So my ISP just called me again that I'm sending plenty of spam. This time, I have all flows logged, so I know for sure that it wasn't my TV (only vulnerable device with internet access) and as my switch was offline there is nothing in front of my router anymore. And I learned that all the spam was going directly to their smtp server which I never used and didn't even know they have some. All in all everything points to their cable modem. Will tell them that in response to the mail they promised to send me. Really looking forward to new at least a little bit competent ISP (alternative should be available soon).

When I update my linux I usually keep the terminal to full screen.
Roommates enter :
Friend1: Now what the fuck did you do? What are these lines?
Friend2: It was a good laptop.
Friend3: So ungrateful.
Me: *faceplam*

A PCB I designed on the job over the last weeks shipped today! A benefit of hardware is the haptic element you have at the end of the design process - you made something touchable. (I am proud.)
Also, errors made earlier in the design process are permanent now. But other than on my software my design got reviewed, so I'm optimistic it'll not contain many if any.

I'm on vacation right now for moving stuff but I'm looking forward to do the "pick'n place" on monday. Soldering manually is quite relaxing for me, you should try it, too! ;)

In other news, I'm no longer sleeping on the floor in my home-office while the paint is drying in other rooms.
I already moved the most of my stuff - books and tech equipment are the worst - and I moved my furniture yesterday.
My new roommates are considerably quieter and my sleeping rhythm is slowly shifting back to normal.

Start coding for work this morning, immediately notice a ui bug, ugh. Want to get cracking with another bug I'm supposed to fix.

Fix the bug, and it incidentally fixes the other bug. Two in one.

*Suspicious*

Age 12:
Mum: "You're always on the computer doing your silly codes! if you keep this up you're gonna be a failure at life!"

Age 15
Mum: "Hacking? oh please! you sound like a kid who wants attention"

Age 18
Mum: "Son, i was wrong. im sorry."

Age 25
Mum: "Are you okay over there? you're always on the computer doing your work, rest and take a nap, eat lots of carrots when you can"

even if you weren't very supportive mum, i still love you. :)

Now I feel like krillin

"We want a fully responsive web application.
Also, it must look identical to the old one written in VB6"

Can you convert our printer to print plastic ID cards?

Password max. length 12 characters. Whyyyyyy?