"Why did you bring Wagyu beef to the meeting?"

"Because the calendar description said: Engineers should proactively add value for our steak holders"

(True story -- They told me to do what management instructs, without correcting anyone and without asking questions. And I love playing that game!)

Manager: What’s taking so long on that PR?? It’s just some small styling adjustments

Dev: No it’s not you added an entire new calendar module that doesn’t work

Manager: Ok but besides that it’s just a small couple of css edits

Dev: You made styling changes in 50 files, half of which break our mobile responsiveness

Manager: Well then STOP talking to me and FIX IT if you’re so smart.

Dev: You also added a series of filters on a table in this same PR that cause th—

Manager: OK SO I GOT A BIT DISTRACTED THE FACT IS IT ALL NEEDS TO GET DONE SO IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S ALL ON ONE PR SPLITTING THINGS UP INTO SMALL UPDATES IS JUST UNNECESSARY BUREAUCRACY AND IF YOU LIKE THAT THEN GO. WORK. FOR. THE GOVERNMENT!!!

Dev: …

Reasons I hate the US

1. It's fucking 2 in the morning there and folks are checking their Slack when they wake up for pee breaks or done after their sex sessions.

Nearly 90% of the team is on and off checking Slack.

2. Culture fucks have only 10 holidays and hence they align rest of the world to their calendar and only give 10 holidays. India, Europe, and entire world can easily get 15 holidays per year outside their leave quota.

What a cluster fuck of a country it is.

Story of onboarding in the age of Corona!

Monday:
Office is big but almost empty, people are working from home. Guy welcoming me says he is not the one supposed to help me(he is sick I'm told) and the rest of the team is not there. The man I'm talking to is this other guys boss. It's OK I think it will work out.

Turns out this guy helping me is actually the CTO so he does not have that much time on his hands. He shows me were to get my computer and desk and hands me documentation to setup some software.

I spend the time before lunch installing linux, setting up git and some other software. CTO checks up on me once.

Then after lunch nothing...I look for him but he is in some meeting. I find some videos by myself labled "onboarding" on the company website. They are OK. I ask my deskmate if he heard what team I will be in. He doesn't know. I sneak out a little early since I have nothing left to do.

Tuesday:
The CTO is now also sick I see in an email when I arrive at the office. Still don't know what team I am in.

I spend the morning reading coding blogs and websites. After lunch I have a meeting. The only one in my calendar. It's about the product software architecture for all new employees. It's good but still no news about what team. I aimlessly read up on some software architecture untill I go home.

Wednesday:
I arrive at the office first, only the receptionist is there. I listen to podcasts until a few more people show up. I ask another guy if he knows what team I'm supposed to be in. He doesn't but laughs and says it was the same when he started last year.

I send out messages on slack looking for anyone that knows...still no one knows. I guess Im in limbo now. Perhaps i should just start making coffee for people or something...

Me: *Looks at calendar* Oh boy! A meeting free day - I can finally get X done!

Boss (after stand up): Are people up to do refinement and other Agile?

Been stuck in meetings all day (-_-)/

I miss actually doing my job.

(Micro)Manager: Just a reminder you have a meeting at 4:30 today. (note that micromanager has nothing to do with this meeting)

Dev: Thanks, I think I can read my own calendar myself I think; I'm an adult.

Manager: ...

Dev: ...

Managers: * send meeting to my calendar *

Fullstackclown: * sees email * Much obliged, I'm happy to... wait a sec... this calender meeting is for 4:30 PM... TODAY! ...and they've sent this at 4:47 PM?!?!

Managers: FULLSTACKCLOWN!!!! HOW COULD YOU MISS THAT MEETING TODAY?

Fullstackclown: lol

#beclowngetclowned

Why use google calendar?

Get you a micromanager!

Always the same with these f**** 🤡🤡🤡s

Congratulations, you've earned yourself a spot in the STOP category on next week's retrospective! 🖕

Meeting in calander: 1hr
Actual time taken: 1.5hr

Manager: "we are slow in delivery.. "

I have to write a calendar app. In js. Just fucking kill me right the fuck away.

Giving the stink-eye to the stakeholder who scheduled an important meeting when I’m out on PTO 😒😑😠 And my calendar had the day blocked off for weeks. Stakeholder probably doesn’t want me there because I’ll just tell them their “solutions” aren’t actually solutions.

Is anybody else nonstop recruited for what essentially chalk up to be excel or google calendar clones? God, all of these 5 mil + funded startups are web apps for TABLES... I mean WTF ARE WE DOING HERE FOLKS?!

The James Webb telescope is literally going to find the existence of life on exoplanets and meanwhile on earth fumbling around in the sandbox with these reinventions of reinventions of reinventions

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the wrong line of work

The customer wanted a calendar view that somehow contained data about fucking everything.

Ended up looking like a bunch of trash icons on a calendar

We find our hero, fullstackclown🤡, again harrowed by idiotic management.

Our backdrop and set: A Google calendar appointment was booked between the managers and fullstackclown. fullstackclown had created an all-day appointment for today which reads: "fullstackclown on site".

With the scene set, let us begin our tale..........

Manager: Are you going to be on site today?

fullstackclown🤡: Do you see the appointment I booked on our calendar stating that indeed I will be on site today?

Manager: ...

fullstackclown🤡: you are an absolute idiot

Manager: ...

I literally don't know what to do anymore. I mean it's RIGHT THERE IN YOUR CALENDAR. HOW MUCH MORE CLEAR DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?! DO YOU WANT A TWILIO APP THAT SENDS YOU A PRERECORDED VOICE MESSAGE IN MY VOICE, CONFIRMING MY CALENDAR APPOINTMENTS?!

What type of mindset causes this type of behavior of double or triple checking things as simple as a calendar booking? Honestly shows a complete breakdown of normal mental functioning in my opinion.

Laziest habit? Anything done between 1pm-4:30pm and 4:59pm-8pm. During that time, habits include unnecessary refactoring, poking the CI/CD containers, editing already made prototypes in gimp inkscape, pasting stackoverflow topics to youtube, bouncing from macOS, windows and kde distros in search of zen/rice, adding a calendar emoji on my slack :), making useless automation scripts, building on every variable's value change, tinkering pixels, shades, gradients (and their angles), dimens, anim values, anim curves, opacity, blurs and just nuking the ui just to copy paste an old one, 60% just chatting in code alongs, changing key bindings (from ide to OS), and ultimately zoning out on a podcast about cyber security. And of course: waiting for ++ and comments

Google Photos <-> Google Drive <-> Google Keep <-> Google Calendar interoperability is _very_ limited as I already knew, but it seems to be even worse for "non-technical" people trying to actually use it

That's a good one!

Sadly, in real life, I'm overly polite (working on fixing that dammit!!) and always trying to stay professional. I have a couple of coworkers who not only need a scolding, they need someone to beat their idiocy out of their little brains.

I have on occasions told some coworkers off when they were way out of place. A recent one: idiot PO trying to micromanage the dev team and thinking he's manager of the devs, came to me personally (sudden Slack call, no calendar invite) with some bullshit feedback about ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶u̶n̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ CUMmNnicaTioN (I had to). Told him it's not his place to give me feedback and it's not his place to manage my time for me and ended the call aggressively which I don't prefer (it's always better to keep your cool and control your thoughts and words). My cholesterol level went up writing this.

Thank you and have a nice Monday!

everyone's having a bad monday because daylight saving kicked in and everyone's calendar is now messed up (employees in different countries, some's daylight saving kicked in, some's didn't)

Another consultant. He/she sends out meeting request about system X to me and a few other guys/girls. X is actually a, you know, global thing. It is well known but not incredibly famous but well known.

But she/he mispells it. It is not even close. So, he/she just guesses how it should be written. It is not a big thing. But I am truly interested, and a little worried, about how that kind of mind work. Is she/he convinced that that is how X should be written? I think not because X is not an actual word but just a product name. In this case the product name is synonymous with the company name. If you pronounce X as he/she has written it will just be distinctly different than the correct way of saying it.

So I got this meeting request in my calendar which just sits there in its erroneous way and it irritates me. Mostly, I am annoyed by the fact that he/she did not bother to look up the correct spelling. And it has now been a week or so and it has not been corrected so I must then conclude that he/she still is ignorant of X. Which leads me to the conclusion that he/she is not really that motivated.

I am perhaps a grumpy old developer but I do think I can spot incompetence a mile away nowadays. I’ve been at it for over 15 years now.

I wonder if anyone else realizes how stupid it is to loop years around for fear of arbitrary artifical consequences designed to just keep people as land bound surfs.

seriously.
everyone travels
everyone fucks

or wants to.

and people fall down sometimes
doesn't mean you have to invent a system that drags them back through years of history to get that 60k job all over again !!!

also next year means take the calendar year and add one assholes !

Has anyone moved their email from gmail to outlook / outlook to gmail? Like everything from contacts, calendar, signed up apps and websites