A good billionaire is a dead billionaire

Hi! 😀 Great to meet you!!! I hope you are having a fabulous day 🐝. My name is John Doe 👔 at the TechyHelp 🤲 company. I know I might not look like much 🤪, but I will do my very best to make sure 🫵 YOU get my best service 👨‍🔧 to your hearts content 😌. I am sorry that this problem has been causing you pain 😥 it must be so awful dealing with this 😖 I can’t even imagine 🫣. I feel for you deeply 😮‍💨. It is my duty 🫡 and I will make sure to give you exactly what you are asking for and more. I am aching 😩 to satisfy you so you don’t feel anymore pain. I want to give you 🫴 so much pleasure today 🤤 to make sure you never have to think 🤔 about this problem ever again 🥰.

Upon applying some of my sleuthing 🕵️‍♂️ skills to use, I found that to restart your computer, press and hold Alt + F4

Let me know if this solves your problem!

I really hope I entertained you today 🥺. It is my pleasure ✨ to give you the most satisfaction possible, and I love that u came to me first 🤓. I know sometimes these problems can get built up 🥴 and really explode 🎊 💦 when you least expect it. So I hope I relieved some of that pressure today ☺️.

If you enjoyed my performance today, we would love to hear your feedback! 📝 Please sign up at the form below so that we can call you 📱 and hear about your experience 🌝. You can also take the 69 question survey on how well I serviced you today 😏.

Have a blessed day!
Stay safe!
Hope your life is amazing!
Happy pride month!
Peace, love, unity, respect!
Hugs and kisses!
Thanks a million!

- John

Told my boss that i don't understand Laravel because i never use PHP in any project before.But he told me that it is so easy and give me 2 week to explore.

I know java, c#, python but don't know why it's hard for me to understand Laravel framework.

I've been reading a lot about companies moving towards implementing a one-person policy. Like, one person is end-to-end responsible for the backend, one person for android app, one for iOS app and so on.

They also call it "lean teams. Less people, less discussions, less bullshit"

Or maybe the search algorithms have flagged me as a recent job seeker, idk.

This is seriously scary because essentially it's telling devs "We will underpay you and overwork you as we wish. And you can't leave us because other companies have implemented their one person policy so u ain't getting hired anywhere else."

Today I was 25 years old, asking for a raise or a opportunity to reach the next level of my career.

My department manager simply said:
"I'm sorry, but in terms of salary you have already reached the end of your career."

Bye then :)

Assign 15% of each sprint to addressing technical debt

One of the craziest misconceptions about the IT industry I had was ... "They are a company, so they have tons of money, I can ask for whatever setup I want and they will provide it".

I wrote an email to my boss about how my Core i3 and 4GB RAM laptop isn't powerful enough for LAMP stack development and I need a Core i7 16GB with GTX1080 graphics card laptop to get tasks done.

My boss must've had a good laugh at me.

Who is all here for the stickers? 👀

"We need to reduce the scope of the project, guys... What if we don't make tests? They're taking some time do write, so..."

Yep. Let's compromise the quality and call it scope reduction. It will make wonders to our roadmap 👍

TL:DR: I'm terminally addicted to Tea.

I have been drinking tea twice every day since 6th grade. I'm almost 30 years old now.

One day I decided to quit tea altogether. And at 6 PM that same day, I started to lose color from my eyes. The whole world turned black and white.

At about 7:30 PM, severe depression kicked in and I started questioning why the hell I wanna keep on living and not end it all.

At that point I ran to the kitchen and made tea and drank it. 2 mins after that I started to see colors again and the depression went away.

It's kind of funny now that I look back at it.

Endel, the freemium garbage app for meditation sounds that sells its subscription by telling you to “invest in your happy brain” (despite being FDA approved) and has an unskippable onboarding question on whether you was professionally diagnosed with ADHD, made a collab with Grimes.

Grimes and Elon Musk are X Æ A-Xii Musk’s parents.

So, Grimes recorded an “AI lullaby” supposedly “for her son”, that was really just a paid collab with Endel to sell their garbage app better.

Poor kid wasn’t even born yet, and everything about his life was already commercialised.

Imagine having Elon Musk as your dad. Grimes reported Elon abused her. Among other things, he made her dye her hair white, because Elon prefers blondes. How creepy is that? Now the poor kid with a stupid name made up to keep Elon’s stock bubble afloat will live with divorced parents.

This is capitalism for ya.

And on today's episode of ADHD, Depression, Or Corporate Jadedness? Our special guest star is start paralysis!

It's my birthday

🦁🙏🎂🍰🎉🎈

You know that feeling

When you know far too little to even ask a question

Feeling that right now

Meanwhile in Australia...

Only because I'm a girl I can't pick facial hair for my avatar? What virgin thinks girls can't have a mustache?

Fuck this day in particular.
Also it's probably my fault.
Oh well...

Many people in this world are worthy of being hated, but few are as irritating as the mongrels pushing for import\export to be used in backend projects. Breaking compatibility and bothering developers just because you can. Worst thing, they'll also probably win.

like why tf does apple product exists.

....death to React

Long Live Svelte!

Someone canceled their subscription to me a couple months ago.

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃＼○／
┓┏┓┏┓┃ / Friday
┛┗┛┗┛┃ノ)
┓┏┓┏┓┃ Deploys
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┃┃┃┃┃┃
┻┻┻┻┻┻

Someone call a damn ambalam

Asking a question on StackOverflow...

5000 characters aren't enough to express how much I fucking hate Xcode and iOS developing in general

How do you like my new two monitor setup?

Some morons these days..

stackoverflow ❤️

Got two updoots on stack overflow