My shower renders temperature as a boolean. 😩

I'm trying out a new rendering engine, it's pretty slow but I'm getting somewhere.

My (6 years old) client is sitting next to me and is kind of picky and tells me exactly what to do.

No payout though 🤔

!rant

Customer: What's the difference between an antivirus and an antimalware?

Me: *thinks for a second* So an antimalware program is like if you're on a beach with a metal detector. You're looking around for metal that's already buried in the sand. An antivirus is like actively watching people for if they drop metal on the ground.

Customer: That's an interesting analogy.

Coworker: *quietly* That's a actually a really good analogy...

I wonder when there will be the first manufacturer to introduce the "cool" new notch design to normal screens. 🤔

„We love open source, so we'll just buy all of it!“
— Microsoft, 2018/06/04

Microsoft is investing in Git, VSCode, Electron, Github, Bash-on-Windows. Things that decentralize and help prevent lock-in.
Apple is taking away the only universal cross platform graphics system (OpenGL), locking developers into Metal, and taking away our escape keys.

I am so metal! \m/

Active Noise Cancellation (ANC) headphones in, whatever music that your mood requires at the time (my taste varies from classical to country to blues to jazz, pop, rock, metal and even heavy metal (growls) at times).

libre.fm is a good source for non-redundant music. The community channel is actually very good. (even though some crap do creep in every once in a while)

If you can zone out the noise around you, have a coffee machine within your chair's (assuming it has wheels) roll-range - you're all good.

PS : There's one problem that you can never rule out - interruptions from people around you, for that, you make a list of predefined answers :

Alone in the office. Everyone left to see Portugal play. Time to blast some heavy fucking metal. 🤘

"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
Boring. Overused.

"Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow"
- New
- Metal as fuck
- Works just as well

Alestorm had a huge rubber duck with them at Alcatraz metal festival yesterday. I love them even more now! 😂

Someone called me an incapable, arrogant bitch today because I didn't let them test in prod. We had words.

The monologue from Full Metal Jacket went through my head at one point, and I almost didn't mute my phone in time before I said it rather than just thinking it. I'm not sure I would still have a job if I did, but I kind of wish I didn't mute my phone.

Friend: Why do you always listen to metal music when coding?

Me: So that if non-programmers saw me smashing my keyboard, they will understand better why I did so.

Friend: Fair point.....

$ alias sudo='sudo '
(note the intentional space within the quotes, allows using aliases with sudo)

And then:
$ alias fucking=sudo

Allows stuff like:
$ fucking rm /important-stuffs
$ fucking service foobar stop
$ fucking reboot

Enjoy!

#define f fuck

I think it's time to fing start carrying my fing phone around in a fing metal box !

f Google !
f it again !

I just got my first set of D&D dice! I know it’s just some metal polyhedra but I’m really happy to have them!

!dev related but fucking hell I need to get this out.

Could people (including friends) fucking stop to invalidate my favourite music genre?!

'Its just too hard', 'its so aggressive', 'its only boom boom boom'

Fuck you.

Always, al-fucking-ways at every party or wherever when people are allowed to put on music, whenever I'm allowed to, my music is turned off right away.

'Sorry but not everyone likes this and you're not the only one here'

I'm sorry, WHAT? I'VE LISTENED TO STYLES I REALLY FUCKING DON'T LIKE FOR FUCKING HOURS AND I'VE SWALLOWED IT ALL. THEN AT LEAST LET ME PLAY ONE FUCKING SONG ON A WHOLE FUCKING EVENING.

And nothing against metal peoples, really not but its nearly always the metal people who put their music on all evening and keep telling how awesome metal is and the second I mention my genre or out it on: 'oh but that sucks' *switches back to metal*

Go fuck yourselves. I'm swallowing this shit every fucking time but I'm getting fucking sick of this bullshit.

By the way, my favourite genre is raw hardstyle aka rawstyle.

Looks like that took some time 🤔

2 Days.
Thousands of lines of code analyzed.
Dozens of log files across 6 servers.
Countless pots of coffee.
Much power metal.
...
One line of code.

Bug fixed.

Watching a movie at a friend's house.
The subtitles look legit.

I'm starting to lose faith in humanity ... I mean recruiters ...
But then I start thinking to myself: "Did I ever HAVE faith in them?" 🤔

Spotify just asked me for my ZIP code (to verify my family plan again after like a year).

I typed 00000 and they accepted that 🤔

I get through tough devDays like this:

1. Brew coffee more black than a serial killer's soul in the midst of the Gotthard Base Tunnel without electricity in the midnight during a solar eclipse.

2. Flush the blackness down the throat.

3. Load the Playlist: Mostly Death/Doom Metal

4. Put on over-ear headphones (the ones your coworkers can see from a distance telling them to fuck of with their questions).

5. Code through without pauses (except for releasing piss)

6. If you're paid by the hour: $$$profit$$$

I just wanna smash their head with a metal chair then shove their own keyboard up their fucking ass... Sideways while they choke on a rusty knife...

Lazy cunts

Me at work right now.

I am one with the Code and the Code Is with me :)

I hope Desks of devRant is still a thing because..

I BUILT MY OWN (｡♡‿♡｡)

My dad helped me with the metal work. I build the wooden plate myself and I think it looks beautiful.

Also my devDucks and my little bongo cat support me. As well as my real cats which now have more space to annoy me.

I love this table ( ˘ ³˘)♥

The music I hear while coding can describe my current mood:

Dubstep and other electronic music -> chilled and focused
Movie soundtracks -> everything I do today is working fine
Anime Openings/JPop -> in desperate need for motivation
Metal -> why is that son of a code not working?!

What kind of music do you listen to while coding?

They aren't guitar strings. They're usually made of metal.

They're guitar wires.

How tf does these even make sense?! That's a fucking sledgehammer and large metal chisel on fucking steroids. If your parents don't know what the fuck those are and realize they have nothing to do with fixing a relatively flimsy box (in comparison) they probably need more than their WiFi fixed, but since they managed to fucking raise you, I doubt they're that dumb. I get that parents might not always understand technology, but shit, at least respect the fact that they survived without the Internet, which you probably couldn't do...

Maybe if Forbes and Business insider would show something like this, they'll get more revenue.

At my parents house for the holidays and I don't have my original "duck" so I had to get a new one. Handmade out of rubber and metal and looks damn awesome

Your git commit history on your personal branch when you're freaking out and cry tears in joy because the code you spent the whole previous week on to somehow get it to work suddenly DOES work.

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
What do you code, anyway?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, JAVA, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
JAVA? Holy dogshit! Only steers and queers code in Java!! And you don't much look like a steer to me so that kind of narrows it down. Do you suck dick?

Pvt. Cowboy:
SIR, NO, SIR!

Gunnery Sgt. Hartman:
I BET YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO'D WRITE LEGACY CODE AND NOT HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY TO WRITE ANY COMMENTS.

For my final project as a first year computer engineer, I have to implement a FAT32 file system using a bare metal c++ compiler that will need to work on arduino uno/due....

I've only been in the computer engineering space for 2 months.
Not sure I can do it, but I'm going to try my best!
Wish me luck

!dev

This is the one thing about Spotify that annoys the living hell out of me (yes, I use spotify, if anyone knows a good/working self hosted alternative, let me know! I've tried quite a few including funkwhale but they all failed for me).

I'm a raw hardstyle/rawstyle lover and listen to the raw duo Malice a lot. Now, what would the problem be here? Sometimes, there are several artists in different scenes with the same name. This is completely fine.

Spotify, however, mixes up music of the raw duo Malice and the rock/metal band Malice. I keep getting release notifications/news regarding new music/events from Malice but 90 percent of the time this is about the rock/metal band and NOT the raw duo.
It's also very weird to suddenly hear rock music while listening to my daily mix; the wrong malice is mixed in once again.

Yesterday I got an email saying "Check out Malice's newest release on Spotify!"

*OH FUCK YEAH*
*opens Spotify release radar*
*YAAA....FUCK*
That's the other malice 😡

Is it so hard, Spotify? Entirely hiding the artist results in the right one being hidden as well for me 😞

Bear Metal Server 🐻🤘💻

I hate when I'm being questioned when I wander off to the kitchen to get a sandwich for 5 minutes when the smokers at the office have their sixth smoking break that usually takes about 10 minutes.

Let me enjoy my non-smoker breaks 😒

South Africa Electricity:

This is after I lost my 7th 3000VA online UPS...

In South Africa we have 240V power most of the time which is great, but then there is scheduled power outages (because our electricity companies cannot "handle the load").

When we have a power outage we have automatic generators which brings everything back up although there is still the 1 minute drop which has weird spikes and odd voltages before switching to the generator (as the generators wait until they are stable)

This has being destroying our equipment, we had a $2000 repair bill 3 TIMES for 3 SEPERATE Xerox Machines that have surge protectors although their circuit board somehow fried.

We have lost 7 3000VA UPSes (3 different brands) and 5 voltage regulators we put to protect the UPSes.

The one UPS that fried just had 2 dead fuses, I decided to replace them (unplugged the batteries to avoid 240V) and when plugging the batteries back in there was a huge spark and flame and the metal and plastic melted onto the board and turned black (the metal pins to connect the battery are non existant now)

I am done with electricity...

P.S. 2 of our generators also got hit by lightning as we are high on a hill and ALL the plastic cable coverings inside the generator were melted

I was about 17 years old had tried wood & metal craftsmanship but never liked it, so I spoke with a counsellor and mentioned I like computers as I play a lot of games.

That counsellor laughed at me ( a shut in that rarely says anything ) and told me I'm too stupid..

Since then, I have scored almost pure top grades without any particular job goal.
But eventually met a good friend who wanted to be a Web developer, so I simply followed the same path and kept on reaping top grades lol.. :)

As Ana says in overwatch, "Never stop fighting for what you believe in."

"OpenGL, OpenCL deprecated in favor of Metal 2 in macOS 10.14 Mojave". Another reason I'm never buying another Apple computer.

I fucking hate december. It's as dark outside as in a hobo's ass standing in a tunnel during a solar eclipse and there is "love" and "friends" everywhere.
Time for some nordic doom metal.

Some of my working colleagues occasionally forget to lock their PCs even though they're told to, so a while ago I started opening YouTube videos or image galleries of Nicolas Cage on their desktop so that they learn.

One of them is very resistant to it though and left earlier (it's Friday and he will be back at Wednesday) without locking or shutting down his PC.

So this time I flipped his display, set Shia LeBoef as his wallpaper with a dia show also featuring Nicolas Cage, Ryan Gosling and Daniel Radcliffe and set Nicolas Cage's face as his cursor image.

My boss codes shitty ugly fucking abominations.
These fucking piles of hacky crap are worth less than a penny puked out by a dog, eaten by another one and then shit out, grabbed by a vagrant, stuffed in his arse and then sold as raw metal by the cremation worker after the former's death.

Fuck this. I'm not gonna rewrite this. Fuck you.

Good heavy metal music. 🤘😐

My current favourite music genre.
I've listened to rock, metal, general top40 music and so on but when I listen to a good rawstyle mix, I get into a very high/hyper concentration state.
I haven't had that with any other music genre.

Currently looking into producing it myself.

Talk with a co-worker who has a bit of a motivational problem.

Him: if I had more fun, I would be more productive.
Me: you're not here for fun, that's why they pay us.
Him: how are you motivated?
Me: by money.

...

A bit later.

Him: do you plan for retirement some day?
Me: no. By then, there won't be retirement anymore. We will eat fried rats in the street.

He starts understanding why I'm wearing black metal shirts.

Do you guys dream about programming?

Tonight I was dreaming that I was building a client for some API and suddenly it started responding with 500 and then sent me a 50X "metal sound" (I don't remember the actual number), that meant the server was doing noises because of a mechanical failure.
I thought it was cool (because metal 🤘), until I realised the server was running on my laptop.

I started panicking and then woke up.

!dev

Feck I hate public transports. Rude people everywhere.

When the train arrives, everybody is pushing themselves at the door, not letting people stepping outside properly, then they lay their filthy shoes on the seats, contributing to the cancerness of the place, they cackle like hens, so I have to put super high volume on my headset, bringing some dark looks from other peasants because I listen to metal, but fuck them, and when finally you arrive, with nearly all the people standing up since 15 minutes ago because they want to go off first, some fucker in front of you steps down, with his luggage, and STOPS right there to open his handle so you're sure to bump in his ass, he turns to you expecting YOU to apologize when the fucker took the whole place for himself, I give him a mean look with my metal chaos pissing from my ears, and venture off to bump in a girl who was standing in the FUCKING way again checking out where she had to go. ARGH.

Scenario 1:
Me: *cover both ears with headphones, start listening to vicious metal, look angry, busy and determined*
Co-workers: "Oh hey! I need to understand ____"
Me: "Fuuuuu..."

Scenario 2:
Me: *place headphones on one ear, listen to gentle, approachable music at low volume with smile on face*
Co-workers: *crickets for hours*
Me: Fucking seriously? *commence Scenario 1*

Since fucking when did "bare metal" mean just running on an OS?? At a conference and literally everyone is like "we got kubernetes running on bare metal", got super excited for a bit because just the idea of that sounds amazing but they're using it as slang for "basically not in a container or vm."

Nothing exciting at all. Now we're patting ourselves on the back for getting software working without it being preconfigured as a container or a VM image. No one knows how to do anything any more. MUCH too much abstraction going on.

I guess it keeps me more employable, but the state of the world from a developer standpoint is just sad.

(For reference, this is what the first sentence of "Bare Metal" looks like on wikipedia "In computer science, bare machine (or bare metal) refers to a computer executing instructions directly on logic hardware without an intervening operating system.")

Been wearing sunglasses to the office for a few months now because I'm sick of bright screens, light themes of co-workers, the daylight outside that shines through the windows (I moved to another desk further away from the windows), the ceiling lights that are always on (even when there's daylight from outside, thanks boss) and people expecting me to have my eyes open in meetings when there's nothing to look at so now I can just close them and switch to "standby" while I'm still listening.

I am a devampire.

Be me...
Coding and refactoring...
Very focused...
Until...
.
..
…
….

METALLICA COMING TO AUSTRALIA 🤘🤘🤘
….
..
..
.

Forgot what I was doing... But I know what I will be doing next week... GETTING THOSE VIP TICKETS 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘

So a coworker made a backup script that asynchronously copies the backup to the remote backup space and then deletes the backup:

scp backup.tgz remote: &
rm backup.tgz

Spot the bullshit.

What music do you listen to while programming?

My choices:

-Anything in the YouTube channel "Traditional Music Channel"
-North korean/Soviet/Prussian marching music
-Roki vulovic, Asim bajric, Ceca, Tarkan
-Omar souleyman
-Classical music
-Heavy metal
-Tuvan Throat Singing
-Yodeling
-Video Games/Movie/TV show soundtracks

My security knowledge is so bad. But I don't know where should I start.😖
My coworkers know about this, so I don't get involved on related topics.🤤
Last time I asked same question, someone gave me link, and it all about DIY welding metal tubes into a security door.🤦‍♂️
Any better suggestion?

Doing occasional first & second level support besides my actual job of coding can be fucking annoying and time consuming.
Just let me code in peace and listen to doom metal!

"Blabla our 17 years old plotter does not respond blabla fix it please"
"My computer is so slow, make it faster"

Go die in your filthy office chairs by being pierced through the stinking butthole you ignorant endoplasmatische retikula!

"Time to listen to some music"
* Puts on headphones and searches my favorite death metal *
* No sound *
"Silly me, I muted it"
* Unmute *
* 108% death metal brainfucking me from both ears *

I think I lost 5 years worth of hearing this instant

Fuck air line companies.

They always lose your shit.

Like Ensiferum here. Airlines lost their shit so they they have to play acoustic.

Acoustic most pit motherfuckers. That's right. Acoustic. Most pit.

Fucking metal! 🤘

You know you're in for some nostalgic melodic death metal, when the video has a 4:3 ratio. 😊

Client wanted to send us e-mail addresses.
Client sent an image inside a Word document showing a list of e-mail addresses.

Luckily ShareX has an OCR feature.

!dev

Look im all for conservation and helping the environment and shit, but why can't people do it without being self righteous cunts? Like seriously.

I just saw an ad on Instagram of someone getting a drink and they're all "I don't need a straw hue hue hue" and then proceed to drink from a metal straw shit.

THE WHOLE FUCKING CUP IS PLASTIC.

Stop being a self righteous cunt if you're gonna do contradictory shit like that. Like seriously. You using a metal straw ain't changing shit whenever you've got a whole ass cup that's plastic and that you're gonna throw into a trash can.

When your co-worker thinks the Onion is a legit publication and believes in all its tech news 😁

"OMG Google puts metal chips in their developers' heads, thats why they are so efficient"
Me: ok :|

"Artificial intelligence is real and it has taken over the world, all world leaders are bots"
Me: ok :|

"Obama is not a real person but a robot and he is not just ruling America but the world"
Me: sweet :|

"Even Lisa Ann is not real"
Me: FUCK YOU, Dont fuckin kill my wet dreams

Your favourite coffee type.

I think it would be a nice theme to discuss.
Because it is our energy source. :p

Honestly remote work allowed me to stay productive but to make it more better:

* I usually isolate myself from the rest of the family so I can focus on work

* Taking breaks between sessions so I don't over-exert myself.

*Calming music (I don't know how calming Symphonic Metal is but it is to me)

Other than that, these are just my ways to keep myself efficient, aside from the additional setup my home setup needs which are a new external keyboard and a additional monitor (I use a laptop)

Additional notes: If you get burnt out too easily, try not extending your sessions for a entire day, you'd risk being devoid of motivation easily

I went to get groceries yesterday, and it was raining but not hard. No big deal.

So when I pull back into the parking lot at my apartment complex, a large metal object catches my eyes.

"Holy shit I think that's a computer! I better run grab it and get inside to see if I can salvage anything!!"

So I park and run over to it. I get a few yards away from it and see what it actually was..... Someone's nasty ass broken microwave.

I got so excited and it all came crashing down after a few seconds

WFH = Wacken from Home!

So my company was building a software to allow users to use a screen without the screen being touch itself.
It was made using a camera above the screen and then with openCV detect where the hand was.

Anyway I had to test it on the place.

And the place was a factory where they did produce pipes.
It's the biggest company in my city, and yet I was there, in the break room, coding a raspberry in winter in a factory.
The only source of heat was the fire used to melt the metal

That was literally awesome

Hell yeah!

... oh ... wait ... 😒

Metal sub-genres are really getting out of hand...

!Dev

Okay so this is a very embarrassing story but I guess it's kinda funny so I thought I'd share it anyway.

I was playing a tabletennis game in VR and my opponent was a pretty chill guy who started blasting metal music. We were just casually vibing and then we started headbanging. Not a good idea with a VR headset on your head. There are two deep scratches right on my forehead now. Two perfect parallel lines.

I lost the game, and the smoothness of my forehead.

Okay kids, never headbang with a VR headset on, remember that.

How the duck do those girls (co-interns) get to play shitty songs annoyingly loudly on speakers while we're trying to do important work and nobody says anything??

If that's the case, then I'll start blasting heavy metal at the same time 😎🤘 and see who gets annoyed..

That would be a good showdown 😈

Just realized I can only be productive while listening to metal...otherwise I procrastinate the hell out of every second... Wtf?

Looks like its full music from now on :)

Company calling for support. Printer in machine room makes unusual noises. There are 5 loud 90 dB machine roads forming metal. And the first thing they hear through the hearing protection is....... a printer making silent squeaky noises...

Hmm getting in the zone huh?

Well a good poop
Mug of hot coffee
2 chocolate biscuits
Big glass of water on standby
Headphones , spotify and my metal mix

It's 28°C and the fucking (2015)macbook's metal body is running at atleast 70, burning my legs and making the inside temperature even worse ..

And Im only running Idea and Chrome...

Why have you designed a hellish tool like this instead of a normal laptop? What good is it to me that It's so slim and mobile if I have to have it on a table to avoid having 2nd degree burns on a daily basis?!

Seriously, what the fuck... I didn't ask for this shit, but my company requires me to use this "secure" laptop... Fuck everyone that was involved in this laptops design!!!

when you find a tool or library that does exactly what you need, but it's not documented at all

or worse, when it's "cross-platform" but all the build/install steps are made assuming you're using a Mac
"brew install my-shiny-metal-ass"

I think devRant could maybe have some kind of mascot or superhero!

I scribbled this guy attached here as an idea, but as others have brought up, we could also have a super duck (like the devRant cape duck but more special)!

daily !rant:

Which is the most favourite band of Android devs?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Gradle of Filth

Sometimes I wish I could work in an anechoic chamber, alone.
Big open offices can be a fucking pain in the butthole.
Phone ringing here, stupid chatter there, clattering keys and noisy Intel™ stock coolers.
Even 9 hours with over ear headphones, blasting a fresh breeze of technical death metal, can't cover up those distacting noisy cunts.

How do you cope with that?

Am I not allowed to listen to melodic instrumental rock/metal arrangement music, even though I just wanted to finish my job as soon as possible?

I remembered last Sunday when we had a dinner of our co-member's house where the neighbors music was so loud that it hurts their ears. I'm not being hypocrite because I do, too, love rock music. So when they talked about it, I zipped my mouth with innocent eyes and listened to their tattletale with my mind bursting, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR TALKING; I SIMPLY LOVE THE BACKGROUND MUSIC WHEN YOU TRY TO INFLUENCE THEIR NUTSHELLED BRAIN.

So some client has their own server with their website that we made and maintain.

Recently they've revoked writing permissions for our user for whatever reason but expect us to change stuff.

This has been the case for a few weeks now and they still haven't given us writing permission back, but insist of us making the changes.

Ugh, I hate when customers refuse to pay for staging systems but then randomly complain about stuff that's WIP and not working as expected yet ...

"Yes, sir, this house doesn't have a roof right now because the basement isn't done yet."

Personal project: I design and build single-board computers with old processors like Z80, 6502 etc when I'm not being too lazy. A few run CP/M. One that's been more interesting in terms of digging deeper has been an 80C188, for which I've written a BIOS (despite the chip's built-in peripherals and interrupts being at non-standard addresses) mostly in C, which it can use to boot DOS from an image file on an SD card (bit-banged off the UART chip with FatFs). (Yes it's slow, but so is a 5.25" floppy.)

Work: My first project at my current job. Not particularly exciting compared to some stuff on here, but it got me into making useful contributions to the open-source CRM we used at the time. Was building a basic extension to deal with duplicated organisation names. So learned CiviCRM fairly deeply, a bit of Drupal, a bit of PHP. It's a shame we don't use that system any more, the community was cool.

I was fucking paused that some asshole made me spill my beer, but these crazy cabrones have a way to lift up anyone's mood. 🤘

Installing a GPU is easy - except if it doesn't fit in the case. I had to saw off 3cm of the upper, 5.25" bay. Just removing the bay cage entirely was not an option because I still need that for my DVD drive.

My bow saw wouldn't have enough space, and the cage is riveted. So despite terrible ergonomics, I used the metal saw of a fucking Swiss Army knife for 24cm of cut length through 1mm steel. Then I filed off the cuts so that I won't injure myself later.

However, I was too lazy to take out the mobo and shit, so I protected it professionally against potential metal dust - with a towel.

I got a project to "refactor" some shitty site. It was written in nativ php. The guy who wrote this is a moron.
The site is so unsecure that my dog could broke into it while barking at cats.

It's sooo unreadable and illogical.
Every time i look at the code i get sadder and sadder. And now i understand why so many people hate php..

**Jump in time**
After i planned the new logic. My boss told me i can't do any of this. Because they only need a new user lever..
Now i just stare at this pile of horse sh*t and rant about it.

What kind of music do you guys listen too when you're coding? I need recommendations!

I can't do anything with English lyrics (other languages are fine. As long as I don't understand the lyrics, it's not distracting), so I usually stick to instrumental like animals as leaders, polyphia, Chon, etc or German metal: Rammstein, oomph, wbtbwb, etc

Whatcha guys got?

Being lazy is ok.
But I believe there certainly is a special place in hell for people that use "transition: all" in CSS.

Any metalhead devs here that want to start the subgenre @angular/core?

!rant for any rock/metal fans,
Avenged Sevenfold just released a new concept album (the stage) about artificial intelligence. It includes a spoken word section in the last song by Neil deGrasse Tyson!

(semi-rant)

The new MacBook Pro's front is NOT metal. It's made out of some plastic despite looking like brush metal.

I learnt this the hard way when i accidentally ran my keys across it and gave it a nasty scratch.

Every time i see it, i feel an irritable itch that i can't scratch.

Luckily, i have the perfect bandage.

2 in 1

How I fucking hate people that are over apologetic, but don't actually learn anything out of it, maybe next time you do the same fucking mistake again, I'll shove a fucking spiked metal rod up your ass and twist it, so next time you sit down you seemingly still fucking feel it and remember to check beforehand to avoid the fucking issue, you fucking buffoon.

--

Another thing I'd stick a rusty crackneedle pipe up somebodys internals is "for each day late we will penalize 500$ from the budget" while the budget is like 2k, go fuck yourself and eat your cash, with your "30 day challenge" job, you fucking cumstain.

I'm finally done with Windows Insider Builds 😌

I broke the system!

This rant has the same tag twice, because I manually added the one that would be added by the category I chose 😏.

CC: @dfox

It cost me 6$ to have a big ass keyboard, that weighs a fuck ton thanx to the metal back plate, to have it couried 800km.

It cost 12$ to courier a fucking raspberry pi from the same city... what the actual fucking fuck. And to make it worse i had to pay double shipping cause i had to order the power supply from another site causr site A only had stock of pi's and site B only had stock of power supplies...

fuck my city needs more imported goods vendors

Moving to flamenco when you have been a metal guitarist all your life is.....painful.

I know fingerstyle guitar picking, but shit is 100% not enough.

Now I was not expecting it to NOT be difficult, but certainly not: cry in your room at night considering if you have what it takes difficult.

10/10 Paco De Lucia ys way tf beyond me.

Power metal

Just a friendly reminder that a 53,000,000psi jet of molten metal is below you at all times.

I currently work with a guy that constantly blurts out, "It's awful quiet over there."

This is intended for me to reply to when I'm in the middle of troubleshooting some code. I put both headphones over my ears, crank up some metal, and continue being quiet. I don't reward stupid behavior with a response.

!rant

StackOverflow now has a devDuck!

My fav music while coding: metal. Wich is urs? Lel

When you're trying to publish your first Cordova app and the PlayStore release including signatures and stuff takes you 2.5 hours, while the AppStore release takes you 5 days (including getting a huge Mac on your desk, signing up a D.U.N.S. for your company, figuring out the signing/provisioning process and fixing CSS/JS exclusively for iOS).

Think I like Dev rant so far

So last night a friend randomly found a raw not-yet-installed WordPress instance on a public domain that he found on a Facebook site (it was already linked for I don't know how long, but just not installed).

He told me about it and, being the guy I am, I signed up an account on some free MySQL hosting website, set up a database and used it for that WordPress site.

I then left a kind little note on the front page for the admin telling him that I just saved his ass since others could've done the same but posted racist shit or something and, also, told him not to use WordPress.

Even though I had no bad intentions, I used proxies and VPN connectsions because you never know how these people might react.

Hopefully they'll learn from it 😇

I love hard rock, heavy metal, thrash metal... But I can't concentrate listening Metallica or Slayer. I used to study with electronic music, but really I don't like this music. Finally I found a solution. I'm listening videogames soundtracks like Diablo or Ocarina of Time and I feel better with myself.

What a nostalgic feeling!!!

Why arePC cases so damn useless and ugly nowadays. It's either a cheapo metal box with perforation on the side panel (why?!), Or a decent one with filters but also with a shitty and useless glass panel formo reason.

Why can't cases be just functional metal boxes with filters? Why all that useless shit?

So apparently our windows domain admin now disabled screensavers.

I was always happy to return to my desk while looking at the pixel city screensaver I had and now it's just black.

I am mildly angered 😑

My damn brain all day today: 🎼I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole. Diggy diggy hole🎶

I don't get much spam, but when I do, I rant about how badly those mails are crafted.

I mean, yeah, for non-devs or typical old people, those badly made Google fake mails (that use the old Google logo, the logo in Times New Roman or something) or ISP / phone company mails with malicious attachments may look good enough.

But, seriously, if I were a dev paid to create spam mails, they would look like the real deal, if I may say so myself, as I would actually put some effort in them.

What do you think? Wouldn't spam made by real developers like us be "better"?

Maybe send some examples from inside your junk box 🤔

So apparently Firefox can't handle (quick) animations from opacity 0 to opacity greater-than-zero and glitches around. Instead you need to animate starting from something greater than 0, like 0.001.

I had to debug this shit and it just adds to my reasons to dislike this browser.

During our last Sprint Planning we have chosen to use internal codename Solid Snake for this period (yes, we change it every sprint).

Our Tech Lead likes to draw current name (adjective and animal name) on a whiteboard. As soon as new name has been voted down he refused to draw a new one because

Drum rolls

He doesn't like Metal Gear series.

I'm not sure I want to work in this company anymore...

Do you ever learn a particular technology, have something playing in the background and then associate the tech with that for-fucking-ever?

To me, when I was learning about Ruby on Rails I was watching Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood for like the 5th time (I am a big FMA fan) and have thought of Rails to be associated with it forever. heck, even with just doing scripts in Ruby without rails I have always felt like I was doing alchemy or some shit.

Yeh I know, spot the weeb.

I don't give a shit I just love Ruby.

Evening of wrestling, death metal and alcohol. Didn't think about development or work not even once. Evening of relaxing.

I love listening to music while coding, mainly metal/rock/classical

Comment with 10 tracks from your playlist .... Here are my 10

0. Disturbed - stricken
1. Tremonti - decay
2. Black label society - bored to tears
3. Ac/dc - back in black
4. Rolling Stones - paint it black
5. Gary Moore- still got the blues
6. Carcass - blind bleeding the blind
7. Alter bridge - metalingus
8. Fear factory - linch pin
9. Pantera - 5 minutes alone

Guess which region of europe we are from :)

Sometimes I wonder how software development in (bigger) teams worked in the 90s.

Take the first Pokémon games for example. It was the mid-90s and the final product would be Assembler code that goes onto a cartridge with limited space.

I believe version control systems didn't really exist back then (Git & Mercurial: 2005, SVN: 2004). So probably people took backups of the chunks of code they worked on, copied around a stitched-together code, threw everything together at the end of the day, etc. etc. ...

Does anyone here know if there is some kind of documentary about that topic or did anyone here experience that first-hand?

It would be really interesting to see how that stuff worked back then 😊

Beer and metal music

Guess what my old Windows 8.1 laptop and a Nintendo 64 have in common?

Neither have a goddamn fan or a CMOS battery!!! I shit you not, I opened up my old windows 8.1 computer from like 2012 and it did not have a fan. Instead it had a large piece of metal connected to a CPU as a heatsink. It also never had a CMOS battery since the solder pads have never been used.

I put the same song in a forever loop.
There are 3 stages each increasingly stronger! :

Level one: get lucky - daft punk
Level two: whiskey in a jar - Metallica cover
Level three: gangnam style - psy

I close all im, email and whatnot and code till exhaustion.

I normally listen to metal and classical music BTW.

It works

Got a new motherboard today, a Asus crosshair vi hero, AM4 for amd ryzen.

Bought is as broken / defective, it supposedly works except 2 ram slots should not get detected.

On a closer look, the story of water-damage didn't seem right.

Disassembled everything and took another look.

😲😨 "Is that solder tin? What the actual fuck?"

*Scratche it with tweezers

*"Supposed solder tin" becomes liquid and moves

😱 "The fuck that's liquid metal"
😵 Who the fuck sprinkles liquid metal all over a board?
😳Ryzen is solderd why the fuck should someone use liquid metal?

What the heck

What music genre do you prefer listening to when coding?

I'm going with rock/metal, Linkin Park is love ❤️

If the whole office has to listen to "gon put on mah iron shirt and chase the devil out dis earth" on max volume in between pandora commercial one more day, I'm going to hack the sound system and play Norwegian death metal. Jah!

Fuck office politics!

Fuck the backstabbers with the knife that vegan black metal chef is using!

Also fuck those blame-gamers that blame other people from the team constantly but stealthy, you know the kind, the one that poisons everyone little by little by its subtle toxicity!

I have a Devrant tee shirt and stickers. Everyone knows I like 80s Rock and metal. I hope know figures out my identity. Never mind I don't care. I am freelancing.

Every website we craft at work has some email substitution logic so that addresses you see on the site don't actually exist in the HTML source like that (you wouldn't find them in a format like "foo@example.com").

Instead the @ and the period right before the TLD get replaced with something else (to prevent (dumb) spam bots from using that address and blast it with junk).

Some people replaced them with images in the past (ew), replaced the @ with "(at)" or other stuff.

I made it a habit to render the @ and . by replacing them with span tags which then get a ::before in CSS that contains "content: '@';", so that the @ is visible but is not actually inside the HTML source code.

The classes for these spans then have a random name (persistent for that website though). The first one was called "move-along-nothing-to-see-here", but then I started naming them after Star Wars quotes.

One website's @ class is called "that-s-no-moon" (Obi Wan), others are called "i-have-a-bad-feeling-about-this" (Han Solo), "powerful-you-have-become-the-dark-side-I-sense-in-you." (Yoda) and "these-are-not-the-droids-you-are-looking-for" (Obi Wan).

Started to write a blues song about this depressing legacy code base, but then it turned into an emo song, and now it's very heavy metal.

I put together my first custom computer, was too cheap to buy a case for it, at the end I realized the "power button" is on the case itself!! Anyone else turn on a computer by manually using a metal object to connect the power pins :/

Not tech related, but out of pure interest: Who else is into deathmetal, deathcore, slam death metal, black metal etc ? \m/

Ugh, all these mails about updated privacy policies really annoy me.

Luckily it'll be over soon.

What do you guys listen to while programming? I get carried away with some progressive metal.

I corrupted a raspberry pi, and while debugging the issue, plugged it in and placed it on my metal desk by mistake, which caused it to short circuit and stop working completely.

Coding with some hardcore metal while my client employes run my food and coffee erands. Because then know you are a crazy mother fucker that needs to be concentraded

So, this was about 6 years ago, I had a small HDD of only 80 gigs dedicated for projects code, models, textures etc.

I didn't use GitHub or anything as a backup.

One morning when I turned my pc on I could hear a metal on metal-ish sound, no idea what it was, when windows finally booted ... And I wanted to start coding again, the 80 gig HDD was unformated like brand new ...

Few hours later I gave up and opened the HDD, the arm fucked up the disk inside ... Rip

I started backing up my shit ever since

makes good sprint music

Ugh fuck living in Australia trying to buy tech, wanted to treat myself and get a Skagen falser smartwatch. Nope, but we ship to the US...

Always having to pay extra for the same product, pissed me off when people were complaining that $60 is too much for a AAA game and here we are sitting at base of $100.

Can people start realising other countries want tech as well?
Every other Smartwatch other than ticwatch aren't available in Australia, I just want something minimal and with a metal body, fuck companies man -,-

Putting every file, even SHADER CACHES (that huge cyan flower here (this illustration was made with "gource"), yes, every of those tiny little dots is a file) or even complete libraries into their git repository.

Sometimes norwegian black metal can come off as a fanboi intercepting a discussion about database technologies and which is better suited for different purposes...

So the free WiFi at the Paris airport CDG bugged out for me earlier. Since it doesn't allow you to sign out, I had Schrodinger's WiFi as the login page said I'm connected but I wasn't (nothing worked).

I really don't get why creators of already-suspicious looking software (and the related suspicious looking website) put terms like "NO VIRUS" or "100% free of malware" next to the download area.

I mean, why would that help anything?

(I understand those typical virustotal scan widgets though, those are fine)

Usually my problem is that my colleagues are too distracting.
I just put on headphones and play black metal or hypergrind.
The first is relaxing, the latter overloads my brain to release me of other distraction. It helps me to escape and keep only those things in mind that I actually need.

This... It's so me... Zombie, metal, weird...

Sometimes life is better with a cup of coffee.

I still remember the moment when I found out that there's something other than Internet Explorer ("The Internet program" back then for me), named Firefox (v2.7).

It was simple stuff like tabs that fascinated me, it's an experience similar to learning a second language and opening up your mind and understand the abstract idea of everything.

My boss has been working in web development for roughly 10 years now.

Today he learned about the existence of try/catch in JavaScript and asked me in which browsers it's
supported in 😢

I recently updated all the stuffs on my Raspberry Pi 3.
Now nano* occasionally NULs out files I edit 🤔

*best CLI editor ever, change my mind

Random. Related to WFH.

How do you deal with all this waste sorting/recycling business?

I live in what's considered a small apartment for 4 people and a cat and in our tiny kitchen we have separate trash bags for:
- plastic/paper/metal
- glass
- deposit bottles
- commons/unsorted

- and it's very likely that starting '24 we'll also have an orange 'food waste' bag

I swear to God, sometimes I feel like the Wall-e, the trash prince, living in a recycling centre/dumpster. This kind of taints the pleasure of WFH.

How do you deal with that? Question to those who sort waste and, preferably, live in a small aptmt.

Working on something else. If I lose motivation in schooling or work, I go play with one of my cars or mess with an old small engine. When I realize I need money to restore the 48 year old car, I go back to playing with servers.

If I don't want to do anything I just read a book and/or listen to some music. Usually some metal, or rock, or bluegrass, or whatever else I feel like at the moment.

Area of focus: Between my earphones
Cause: Plays metal

Dev rant needs to work more on their algos to show rants! Since I posted one bout php , every other rant I see is bout php now and I think I just shot in my feet with this rant 😂oh whatever.

X : What do you do?
Me : I am an embedded software developer
X: So you develop software?
Me: Yes, but my software works on BareMetal.
X: So you work in a metal workshop.
Me: -_-

My decision whether to move to the US vs. the UK/EU will be primarily be driven by ability to attend rock/metal concerts and access to art/travel/culture/diversity.

If I am happy and living a stress free life (stress free == balancing stress with doing something that I love), then I'd be able to perform better with a clear mind and grow well.

Money has always been an output of my working with good ethics and high values.

Hey @dfox, @trogus, the birds on the shoulder are super pimp, but would you be interested in making a parrot? You know, to go along with a Hawaiian shirt, an eye patch, and a pirate hat?

That'd be metal af \m/\m/

Today I almost burned my hand from touching my (metal) laptop

(Context: I left Rome: Total war running on it while it sat on a bed which meant the fans couldn't cool it and it was heating up because Rome: Total War

Well fuck. This laptop was nice, then the hinges decided to remove themselves from the mount points. Also a metal side rail mananaged break as well...

Anyone have good suggestions for laptops? Prefer machines with a distro of Linux on it, but not afraid to install

I just subscribed to my own rants 🤔

That moment when you're connected to a server to adapt a setting in the SSH service config and it errors into your face when you attempt to reload it.

Schrödinger's SHell 😰

My brain= processor
Your mouth= raw data
I only process the logic that comes out of your mouth and typecast it to my system's logic and try to fit you in one of my objects using a visitor pattern.if I need to create a new dynamic object , my system throws a "you are special" message.

Any other metal heads on here? If so, what have you been listening to? I've been obsessed with Mutoid Man's most recent album, War Moans, as well as Cult of Luna's Mariner

Sometimes I really hate designers.

I was collecting the colors used in a new layout and this only the part with gray colors of what I've ended up with.

(I may just merge some of those, like 7 and 8. Also none of them are results of transparent shading, I made sure)

1. Music. I am a Metal guy of many colors. So I enjoy "Dimmu Borgir" quite as much as "Amon Amarth", "Man'o'War", "Eskimo Callboy" and "Epica". I am really fond of the latter. But I also like medieval rock and metal like Harpyie or Ignis Fatuu.

2. Music. You may not believe it, but I also like western and country. (Comes from point number 4) My favorites are "High Valley" and "Jack Savoretti"

3. Music. When I owned an Amiga 4000 I made quite a lot of music. Mainly House, Trance, Progressive and Techno. I should pimp my collection of about 20k samples, but just don't find the time. As a software I was a buyer of DigiBooster Pro, nowadays I use MilkyTracker.

4. Line Dance. It is the best and greatest sport for programmers, trust me! 😁 Current favorite dances are "Sweet Hurt", "Dig Your Heels" and "Strong Bounds".

5. "Mass Effect Trilogy" and "Dragon Age Origins". I know more about those four titles than Wikia. 😉

Metal phones are mmmmmmhhh yes

When customers start a project with your company and you're the one to create the software, then after a while the communication kind gets kind of placebo'd down until there is hardly any communication and your contact only replies to / mails you every 12 weeks or so and then after almost 1 year they urge you to get their shit done asap, telling you it'd better be done yesterday but you still lack information you asked for in one of your mails.

Fun fact: the record of them not responding was 20 weeks.

Most days I'm in the office 2 hours before any of my other colleagues show up for work. So I turn up the music and just get to work ...

I hate it when those colleagues then come in and immediately make some snarky comments on my choice of music (which can be anything from Death metal to Vocal Trance and even Classical) but when asked what they'd prefer instead of my music, they can't/ won't come up with an alternative ...

Kids these days and their ultrasonic scalpels. Back in _my_ day, we were doing sugreries with _real_ scalpels made of bare metal. Who cares that ultrasonic ones are way less invasive and it heals faster! If you’re using an ultrasonic scalpel, you’re not even a real surgeon. What’s next? Computer does a surgery for you while you wiggling around the controllers? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS ALREADY BEING DONE!? What happened to this country!

At my workplace nobody wants to work to prestashop project, and whenever someone complete a task he instantly earns a *prestashop level* with his personal bedge. I'm the new one and after my first admin-backend-module I earned the level 1 with the first bedge: the sticker (photo as prove). P.S. I already hate prestashop, just after a week. P.P.S. the prestashop's master (prestaLV 7 or 8) had already earned the last badge:"the precious metal keychain".. is a little truck with the logo on it.. is as ugly as it sounds

I like how devrant devRant is from other websites 😊

Anyone here worked a whole lot with low level programming?

I have always worked with high level languages like Python and C++, but I’ve also had an interest in working with embedded systems, real close to the metal.

Any directions on where I should go to start learning low level programming? Sites, languages, etc?

Appreciated devRant fam!😊

Me picking a knife: does research about types of steel, what screws hold it together, what metal detectors it can fool
Me picking a crush: THIS ONE IS PRETTY!

I wrote some 3d opengl application years back on a windows machone. wanted to get back into it except now i have a macbook and apple no longer supports opengl in favor of their own metal graphics library

why cant people just let other technologies be. why do we have to keep deprecating stuff. why cant we just chill...

!rant

Decided to become a devRant supporter, so here goes 🤔

My first job wasn't as good as i hoped to be.
I had to do a content update to a overly plugined worpress site.
But non of my collegues could give me the code for the site to actually do something. I only could use the wordpress admin page.

My colleagues had to use a shitty php framework which was developed by an other company. They were so stressed..
After i talked to them they told me that everyone wants to leave the company.
And the boss was an arrogant asshole.

I left after a weak.