My office is filled with idiots who would waste money in stupid implementations rather than actual technologies that would help the product. These days I just nod and accept that they are stupid.

😮 Aparently double tapping a rant does a ++.

Try it if you are on mobile! 📱

Interview (first job):

Interviewer: So what languages do you know?

Me: Well, i learnd C, C++ and Matlab scripting, but i'm learning C# as a personal project.

Interviewer: Perfect!

First day:

Interviewer(now boss): So, a guy is leaving next week and you will be replacing him. He has 70 projects and you will be responsible for this production test platform in JAVA

iOS Programming:

something.openCamera()

DONE!

—-

Android Programming:

val jobProcessorHandler = FuckingBuilder.something().inject().whatTheFuck()
val cameraDecoderFuck = Camera(CodePackFuck.shit, jobProcessorHandler)

CRASH!

data science is just a sexy word for statistics.

1% programming skills
99% practically all science thats not computer science

People are fuckin retarded.

Devs regularly complain that our skills are not valued enough and that people think what we do is easy.

But, we don't really help the cause when we run around casually claiming to be "full stack" and not turning down work that clearly isn't in our area of competence.

We act more like Victorian amateur scientists.

Every seen a "full stack" doctor when you go to hospital? "Brain to feet---I can do it all."

OK, we have general practitioners, but they are really the BAs of the medical world. When it comes to getting into the weed, everyone specializes.

Full stack lawyer? "Hey, you did an excellent job of dealing with my house purchase. I've just been accused of murder. Can you represent me?"

While we continue to say that we can provide a high quality "full stack" experience I think we are signaling that this stuff *is* easy.

"I fixed it"

Howto make people panic in 2019.

Switch off the router.

For fucks sake...
If it is a new feature, out of scope for the next release ...

It is OUT OF SCOPE FOR THE NEXT RELEASE, MKAY?????

And on Fridays we all say together...

✨
✨ DON'T ✨
✨
✨ PUSH ✨
✨ ✨
✨ TO ✨
✨
✨ PRODUCTION ✨
✨
✨