I'm not sure if my in-laws know me really well, or if they are secretly plugged into Github and are making a comment on my code.

You know your build process is slow when your colleague compares it to buying groceries in "communist Romania".

I once nuked a Ubuntu os by trying to upgrade the systems python version beyond 2.6...I now use virtualenvs.

My pull request is currently being blocked because my imports aren't alphabetically ordered...

Back to work from a week on holiday. Find out that both mine and my girlfriends companies have announced redundancies on the same day (completely unrelated companies in different fields). We've both made it through the first round ok (which is more than some so massively grateful) but we are still at risk of loosing our jobs. We have some savings to fall back on but that will only cover rent for so long. Never underestimate how quickly things can go to shit.

My client installed a new proxy that severely blocks out most of their own intranet, including their IT service desk. We can't raise tickets to let them know and their email just redirects us to their service desk. Fuck me these guys are idiots.

My client is trying to force me to sign an ethics agreement that would allow them to sue me if found in breach of it. At the same time they are scraping eBay's data without their consent and refuse to sign the licence agreement. Apparently they don't understand irony.

Fuck recruiters, they are the scum of the earth. I just had one contact me out of the blue about two opportunities with companies I'd never heard off. As I knew nothing about the companies I started asking questions around who they were and what they were looking to do. He suddenly gets all defensive and refuses to answer my questions, then follows up with an email accusing me of being an "underhanded recruiter" looking to poach his clients. Sorry mate, you got in contact with me you absolute fuckwit. Without people like us you wouldn't even have a bloody job you fucking vampire. For someone that supposedly specialises in the tech sector, I had to point out that if he really doubted who I was he could drop my name into StackOverflow or github to verify that im a developer. Recruiters - they're all fucking leeches.

* Good salary
* Interesting work (ML in my case)
* Respects employees
* Startup culture
* Somewhere I can make a difference
* Doing something worthwhile (green energy/healthcare/etc)
* Freedom to try and fail

A follow up from my previous rant about a dev colleague in the security company we work for consistently forgetting to lock his screen...he's done it again, so I made him a dickbutt loop this time

Looking through our gitlog today and see 3 PR's from our "lead developer". 2 of these were removing a single blank line from a class, and the 3rd was adding one back in. None of these had any title or commit messages on the PR's. This is a guy that talks down to everyone and deliberately makes other devs feel insignificant, saying he's too busy to write documentation and it's not needed because his uncommented code is self documenting. But hang on he's not too busy to waste time with pointless non-functional PR's that only remove a couple of blank lines? Scratching my head in disbelief that some devs think they can get away with shit like this. How about you drop the ego and actually try and work in collaboration with the other devs.

Microsoft Excel - it created a generation of business analysts who think just because they can write convoluted spaghetti logic in excel that it makes them a programmer.

My colleague always forgets to lock his screen when he walks away from his desk...we work for a security company

Can't believe the US are talking about removing protection for net neutrality. I'm not based in the US, but hope devs out there are getting behind Net neutrality day and Battle for the net

Being told code is "production ready" only to find this:
if name == 'foo' or name == 'bar' or name == 'someothershit'
What's wrong with:
if name in ['foo','bar', 'someothershit']?

Oh and they had 10 different values they were matching, not just 3. What kind of joker am I dealing with?

Scala. The compiler is slow; sbt is buggy; too much syntactic sugar; implicits; cryptic; unreadable; and my biggest issue, symbols are reused and their use changes depending on how they are used, let's look at _:
As an existential type, as higher kind type parameter, as ignored variables, as ignored parameters, as ignored names of self types, as wildcard patterns, as wildcard imports, as hiding imports, for joining letters to punctuation, as assignment operators, as placeholder syntax, in partially applied functions, when converting call-by-name parameters to functions.

I'm a software developer. Last week I spent half a day teaching a "Senior Data Scientist" how to use git branches. I spent the other half a day teaching him how to use Jira. Now I'm being told that the dev team isn't raising enough Pull Requests. FML