Be more passive

I always get involved in everything, at every company. Not to further my career through ass-kissing and overperforming.

I regularly piss off people. When C-level has a discussion about strategy, I'm usually ahead of them, ask too many questions, criticize every detail they've missed, cause frustration by making them look incompetent.

Can't help it, when I see retards destroy a great product I have to intervene.

Some people appreciate it. I often defend both devs and end users, when others don't dare speak up.

But fuck it, I'm getting older. I'm gonna coast a bit more. Sit back, relax.

If a product manager doesn't prepare enough tasks — that's cool, I still have a Factorio savegame to work on.

If another team designs an incredibly stupid feature — they'll discover the issues eventually by themselves. Maybe I'll warn once, just to be nice.

*Pours another chocolate milk*

Also gonna spend at least 4h/d with my daughter. She's a better human than most of my coworkers, and the work we do using her Legos is honestly more important for humanity than the Jira backlog.

Why the Fuck would someone disable pasting on a password field!!!! How the fuck am I supposed to enter my shit from my password manager now?

javascript...

You know it's bad when Github finds it necessary to tell you your code is trash

Came up with this meme at 3 in the morning

StackOverflow finally gets 'Dark Theme', I hope its not an April Fools joke.

Learning Python.
Wrote a script to download images from the official MotoGP website.
https://github.com/d02d33pak/...
Was curious to know what "professional" scripts look like.
Anyone willing to take a look and go I've some advise?

See you someday!

Spooky

I'm in my first internship, they gave me their only company owned product. They always made interns work on that, and it's something I really appreciate (I like when people give to others any possible chance of learning)... But apparently they made a mistake: for the first year they never reviewed interns' code. And now that software is huge and full of bugs.

After two weeks working on that I said to the tech leader and to the PM that we should spent a couple of months rewriting more than half of the code, and surprisingly they listened and agreed (the TL already knew that, and the PM is not a dev and he listened to the TL).

After two days of code rewriting ("refactor" is a too weak word) the boss calls me and orders to stop, telling me basically "I agree on this decision, but not now; let's first make it work and then we make it great!".
Okay I respect that, but what he didn't understand is that the two things are strictly related!

Result: last week we had a first official release (with some client's testers, so they were expecting a few bugs) and nothing was working, so me and the tl started a really hard rewriting work (that didn't finish) and managed to release a very bade made software that works by chance.

After easter we'll keep working on this, and I think at the end it will be great.

First working experience, in two months I learned a lot (not only about code/tech).

Yell globally

When a 50Mb App
rolls out a 76MB UPDATE...
ಠ╭╮ಠ

Alexa (in another room): ***ALARM***
Me: Hey Google, broadcast "Alexa, stop"
Alexa: ***stops***
Me:

i'm getting headaches right now...

Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

No! I refuse 😠😭

Why are you killing THE best mail client of all time google, why? 😭😭😭

It's a merge conflict

Boss: "Could you join the new DevOps team for a week or two, for some coaching?"

Me: "I'd rather watch you masturbate furiously in a corner of the office while you cry over your ex boyfriend"

Boss: "Yeah... that's why I ask you. You are the only one brave enough to watch"

Me: *Sigh* "But I don't know shit about what DevOps does, I'm a DBA. I've told you the difference a million times. Can't we just douse it in gasoline and set it on fire?"

Boss: "What?"

Me: "Not the team, the servers..."

Boss, imitating Gimli: "And my ex!"

Me: "I get why he left you"

Boss: "It's funny, he was actually better with computers than me, maybe even better than you. He hated me for starting this company, told me I was just chasing money instead of ideals. He just isn't grown up enough to see that there is more to the world than computer games, brewing beer, maker festivals and gay bars, that you need to take responsibility... Maybe it just never works out between managers and geeks..."

Me: "Indeed. The difference in competence is too large"

Boss: "Ugh. You are like straight version of him... but will you at least take a look?"

Me: "Fine, unzip your pants..."

Boss: "No, not that... you need to teach DevOps this docking thing, with the parallel stuff, and the horizontal growth"

Me: "Damn I really hope we're talking about servers now... Do you mean Docker?"

Boss: "That's it. They want to learn how to dock on the Windows servers. They reserved two 4xlarge on AWS. Is that enough for docking?"

Me: ...

Me: ...

Me: "You know what. I'm going back to hug my DB designs, and wash my brain with some queries. Then I'll return here to burn everything to the ground. There is no hope for you left"

Boss: "That's what he said"

Me: "You're using that meme wrong"

Boss: "OK. So what if you just stay on DB management, and I'll just give you the budget to recruit a new DevOps lead and pay for training?"

Me: "That would work"

Boss: "Why are you grinning?"

Me: "Because I have your ex's phone number"

only elon musk is smart enough to realize there are smart people out there who can get shit done without a goddamn fcking degree

1 . Seen it
2 . Mind blown
3 . Why i didn't thought of that
I loveee the ideea

Made my FIRST APP using Flutter.

How's it?

Fetches 'Random Rants' from devRant.

Should I put the code on Github?

PS: will break if the image is too long in height

Okay Google

Aaaaaaa 😂😂😂 quit vim

First Day At Work

Friend: So...... How was it?

Me : Alteast the chairs are good.

Dear Dad,
'Long Press' doesn't mean 'Pressing it harder'... they are two different things..
[RIP his smartphone]

8 hours a day too much for you??!!

My first company has "9.5 planned hours" daily

If the average is found less than the PLANNED HOURS / WEEK, the salary is DEDUCTED accordingly.

Enough is enough. This has happened for the last time! >:(

First solo project?

Maintaining legacy codebase be like ...

Source: https://me.me/i/...

My girlfriend is on phone, now over 3 hours complaining something about her friend, she doesn't suspect she is talking to my Google Assistant. Looks like my Google Assistant is doing pretty good.

"Mm-hmm."