My interviews to hire a Junior Dev will begin this week. Here's how its gonna go down.

Me: Star Trek or Star Wars?

My Supervisor: WTF? How is that relevant?

Human Resources: Let's see what he says.

Applicant: Battlestar Galactica

Me: Nice. I can deal with that.

Me: Tabs or spaces when indenting your code?

Supervisor: ... ?

Human Resources : ...

Applicant: Spaces.

Me: GTFO you imbecile! Next!

I remember building a fully operative OS for computercraft in Minecraft ages ago.. now I struggle with Hello Worlds, even though I run my own company.

Oh BASIC night, the LEDs are brightly glinting;
It is the night of the dear GOSUB’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error printing,
Till you appeared and the RAM felt its worth.
Shiver of fear, line numbers do inspire,
For yonder breaks a mostly harmless GOTO.
Fall on your bits, O hear the Visual voices!
O BASIC divine, O BASIC where GOTO was born!
O BASIC, O Holy BASIC, O BASIC, you’re mine!

Some want to say, “GOTO is harmful always,”
But what of them, in their post-modern world.
We PRINT the truth, in the line-numbered goodness,
But Dijkstra appeared, and the faith, it was lost.
A thrill of hope, when .NET BASIC announces,
But Visual BASIC, what kind of thing are you?
Fall on your GUI, O see the old line numbers!
Behold BASICA, O BASIC when DOS was born!
O numbers, O lines, spaghetti divine!

Source: http://changelog.complete.org/archi...

C++ using Visual Studio be like !

ESET Antivirus is a strange animal. On one hand, it seems reasonably well written, because unlike Norton or F-Secure, it doesn't subject your computer to death by constant disk access and 100% CPU load for 10 minutes when you start it.

On the other hand, when I clicked the link in the mail about renewing licenses and filled out the form, I was not redirected to a page where I could enter credit cart details.

Instead, I got message that some representative would get back to me in 1-2 work days. Eh, what? It's a digital product for f***'s sake. Now, I suppose they'll send me a hand written letter (written using a quill, no doubt), delivered by a bloke riding a horse and wearing a tricorn.

Well, at least ESET virus definition updates are pushed on the internet, and not sent out on 5.25" diskettes.

Me after a large Git merge, after expecting masses of merge conflicts and getting none. Life is good my friend.

When the entire platform mysteriously goes down for a half hour at 11pm ON A SATURDAY AND YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WORKS ON IT GOOD GOD SERIOUSLY YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME I JUST WANT TO SLEEP

WHOEVER DID THIS I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL KILL YOU

Wow, I dont use mainstreem languages, so my questions dont have that much upvotes.

Now I have a question-ban from stackoverflow :(

This isnt really fair...

I was talking to my wife about devRant tonight, and that at 20 +'s you get a sticker, and at 300 your get a stress ball, and she said : "Yes you already told me... I guess at 1000 +'s they'll give you a wife".
Ermm...

Providing work estimation:

Dev: This should take about 2 weeks

Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.

*After one week*

Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?

(1) Datetimes. Seriously, fuck 'em.

(2) Everybody always thinking: Come on, that little feature is so simple. It couldn't possibly take a whole week to develop.

(3) Nobody really caring or understanding or forgetting after you've told them that if you cut corners and do something the dirty way, it adds to the effort and time needed to maintain or build new features.

11:45am: "Ok one more issue to fix and then I can take a nice long break and relax a little bit. My next meeting isn't until 2.

12:45pm: "Well this issue is taking longer than expected but that's okay. I can grab lunch and still relax a little bit."

1:59pm starving, thirsty and really need to pee and can only choose one. Oh, and the issue still isn't fixed: "god dammit."

So, this Thursday I'm starting new job. Finally I can say arrivederci to any WordPress and support things. I'm gonna work in Laravel for minimum 2.5 months and then it's quite possible I will also work in .NET. I'm pumped by this, but also I will have to learn a lot just in time.

!rant
Me to my bf: You smell. Go shower.
Him: I don't feel like it...
Me: Sudo go shower.
Him: Goddamn it Rudi..
*wait for it*
*He showers*
Me: *evil chuckle* I gotta post this to devRant

I love coding

But I hate coding

But I love coding

But I hate my buggy IDE

But I love coding

But my back hurts from all that sitting

But I want to work on my side project

But at times, it's frustration.MaxValue

But anything remotely related to coding I find interesting

But it's so hard to abide by good practices

But I love coding

But progress is so fizzlingly slow

But I love that elegant solution of the other day

But it took me 57 attempts to arrive at that elegant solution

But the shit I'm building is so cool

But

But
😦

I hit 200++ on a rant. I sent the email to @dfox but I forgot to add my address 😫. It's against the rules to send double emails. I'm screwed. Please forgive me @dfox 😥😥😧😨😭

I can see why to be honest 😂😂

Programming is thinking 💭 not typing ⌨️

Please, this is devRant. So stop reposting reddit/Twitter/9gag content here just to get ++s . PLEASE!

Am I late for the coding buddy trend ?

I've done it

Them: which language should I learn? JavaScript or Jquery?'

Me:

Just learnt Node JS a week back for a personal project. Started working on it and had to get hospitalized for Dengue. Feeling like a helpless non tech guy without my laptop 😓

I hate clients that tell the developers what to use without discussion.

We're paid to solve problems.

Dictatorship on tools and methodologies are okay with junior devs or interns, but when you have senior devs, it has to be a democracy.

Having limitations like browser versions or server capabilities are fine, but declaring which slider to use, you MUST use jquery, or all that jazz just grinds my gears.

Me: "You know, if I take maybe an hour I bet i can finish this before I sleep..."

Reality: NO. NO YOU CAN'T. YOU'LL STAY UP UNTIL 5, AND IT'LL WORK EXACTLY LIKE I DID YESTETDAY.

the best way to learn programming is not by just reading books and coding basic examples. it is to take up a project which seems impossible and start doing it piece by piece, with the help of Google and stack overflow

My boss is pissed at me for browsing devRant. So I've created Chrome Extension so i could quickly open\hide it.

Feel free to get it from Chrome Store: https://goo.gl/J05XhT

when a Hip Hopper turns Coder

who pops open a 500ml can of energy drink at 01:00 am because we have 3 websites to deliver on Thursday? We do 😎

Belgium vs Sweden... but I hate soccer!!!! At least this made my day. #TousEnsemble