My little daughter came to me all excited, saying "Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in June!"
"Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me?" I said. She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers.
It's now three hours later, police have joined in and she still won't say where she got them.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I hated this day! Get out of bed to a direct fire and firefight all fucking day long, cook while firefighting, shit while firefighting, make dinner while firefighting and now I finally get to eat my fucking dinner without a laptop in front of me. I just want to scream FUUUUUUUCK so very loud but I'm a nice neighborhood. Fuck, shit cunt day. Fuck.

!rant

So my employer just offered me a 57% raise out of the blue!
Last Friday, I got a meeting invite from the CEO (its a small 15 person company, so he looks after most of the management stuff) titled "{{myname}} - Salary Review". No agenda there. I was fuckin scared that maybe my salary will be chopped short due to the virus and shit. They recently let go of one guy in my team, and are about to hire two new guys. Also, my last raise was this January. So I didn't think any good could come out of this meeting.

I joined the zoom and he asked if I was happy with the current salary. I said "yes" like an idiot, but added that the prices in my country are rising a lot. He made smalltalk on costs of groceries and Corona and my family, and that was it. 57%.

I was smiling like a dumbass at the end of the meeting. This guy is like the Hyman Roth of this business.

Talking to my son today about one of his CS classes, not sure which.

He says: "I missed the lecture yesterday, but I'm not going to bother re-watching it."

Me: "Why? You really should. You're paying for these classes AND you really need to actually learn this stuff."

Son: "Well, because I got 100% on my last assignment without going to class. I just Google'd everything and figured it out on my own from what I found."

My wife out of the blue: "DAMN IT, BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS IN THE REAL WORK WORLD!"

Oh, you poor, uninformed summer child. I love her, but she just doesn't know that my son has already learned the key lesson he needed to learn from his schooling in order to get a job and make good money in this field! #ProudTechieDadMoments

Pro - closes CPU directly

Bonus points if the person asking me to write tests is a direct contributor to the feature and he's low-key asking me to cover his code.

Check out my new app!

http://localhost:3000/

Repost from r/programmerHumor

Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.

He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.

He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.

I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.

After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.

THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.

I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.

We got the contract.

Pics ? 😃😃😃

Today I fucking learnt that RHEL is no longer an open source operating system in the full meaning of the terms starting from 8 onward as it shifts toward being a binary only distribution.

What does this mean? Historically in RHEL you could install packages that would allow you to compile software that would use the system libraries.

Now you can't. These packages are being taken away and no longer provided.

If you wanted an operating system you could develop on or build software on well you need something other than RHEL.

The OS is now crippled. There's a bunch of things you used to be able to do where as now you have to pay for a support contract.

Java begets JavaScript

A quote I came up with, during some beers when complaining about how we've required our Devs to be always available on-call because we've shied away from investing in the reliability of our systems.

How many of you already feel you have wasted one week of 2020?

Merry Christmas ya Deviants!!!!!
Hope everyone has/had an awesome day!

Fuel pumps going binary?

I luv flutter so much. Have been using it to the point wre I can say I'm comfortable with it. Had he hope of doing freelance jobs with it buh what I didn't put in mind is the fact that I'll need a Mac. Most of the freelance flutter jobs have d android and iOS requirement n I don't have any kind of access to a Mac to test the application 4 now. Really need a mac😑 or a way out cuz I do luv my PC tho! ... Yay! My first rant! This feels lyk therapy😂

Seen on LinkedIn

Old but gold! :D

Testing in production 😂

Too much work kills your brain cells.

Been months using devRant and I just found out that double tapping upvotes a post.