Professor: "Who here regularly backs up all their data?"
*Some people raise their hands*
Professor: "Who has at some point lost their data?"
*The exact same people raise their hands*

😂😂......if you ever did this raise your hands

*code doesn't work*

-Run three times, just to be sure
-Its NOT the code, must be the project. Full rebuild.
-Run a few more times after rebuild didn't fix it.
-Google the issue.
-Stackoverflow must be wrong. The code is JUST like their solution.
-Run a few more times, but with your lucky underpants
-Reboot. Must be an operating system thing.
-Tea break. Give the issue time and it will fix itself.
-Run a few more times. Still unfixed
-Contact customer support.
-Walmart said they can't help.
-Consider writing your own language without this OBVIOUS flaw
-Kickstarter for c++++
-Raise $50,000
-Start a family
-Contact customer support again
-Run a few more times
-Now banned from Walmart
-Oh shit, missing a semicolon

(Years ago)

Me: I just found out, "Co-worker X" is making 15% more than me, despite him being a shitty developer and putting us 2 weeks behind schedule? Not fair. I did about 70% of the work on this project. I want a raise of 30% to make me feel appreciated at least.

Boss: Well, unlike you, he's already finished college and has a degree in software engineering. It's a company thing to base salaries on educational attainment.

Me: I have two weeks left on my contract, after that I'm gone. I hope his degree will help you meet the deadline.

* Product was delivered two months late, buggy as hell and the company faced penalties and other crap.

Me: I have been working for you for almost 12 years now, and I feel that my current pay is not comparable to the work I currently produce. Therefore, in order to secure my future as your employee, I must request an immediate raise in pay to a level that is acceptable.

Boss: I can't afford it. If you want more money, you need to bring in more clients, plain and simple.

Me: I'm serious. If I don't get a raise, I will qui---

Girlfriend: Babe, stop talking to yourself and come to bed...

Me: Okay... [looks in mirror] This isn't finished...

GF: "The Internet is broken!"
Me: "WHAT?! Sound the horn! Raise the alarm! Call gondor for aid! The Internet is broken! Does the president know?! Save yourself fools!"
*skips away on pretend horse*

So it’s not been announced yet so I can’t tell anyone else other than my wife but I need to say it somewhere and this is anonymous....

I’VE JUST BEEN PROMOTED!! Technical Lead!!! And a 14% raise!!

Yay!!!

First day at work:
To install IDE - raise a ticket.
To get access to source control - raise a ticket.
To get access to bug tracker - raise a ticket.
To raise a ticket, I need first to connect to the intranet, but to do that, I need to raise a ticket.
AND even before that, I need a username to login to my laptop, raising a ticket is also required.
WTF?!!!

They're giving multiple projects to work on and it's so fucking hard to remember workflow of 4-5 projects while working on side projects as well

Raise your hand if you visit Devrant atleast before sleeping and after waking up.

I got a raise 😊

Someone on my Facebook was boasting that he now has 1Gb internet speed.

Turns out he bought a 1Gbit ethernet card for his PC and thought that alone would raise his broadband speed..

My boss can't differentiate between a raise and arrays

My last promotion was a 2% raise for a hell of a lot more responsibility

Guess who's updating their CV 🙃

This post is in memory of all the devRanters fallen in battle against management stress and impossible deadlines.

Let their memories remain, and their loss never be forgotten.

Wife : Lets try some other position tonight.

IT support guy : raise a ticket for change request

Who has got system like this.. Raise your hands 😂

based on true story
> delivered project on time
> giving good performance
> boss noticed
> gives appreciation
> raise in salary
> profit

So I had a job interview and got offered the job on the spot, then I went back to my manager at my current workplace to raise an issue about me being underpaid for this months wages and this is how the conversation went.

Enjoy.

I wrote my resignation letter yesterday, all’s good.

Today, bossman walks in:
“I’ve got some great news, all our developers are getting a raise”

Me: *well shit*

1) I accepted this job for way way less money than market value.

2) Approached boss about having performance review because I had been here over 12 months and no one brought it up to me.

3) Had performance review where they offered a big raise (12% but still way under market value)

4) I countered asking for market value and showed aggregate research (30% increase)

5) A week later we meet again and they offer 23%.

6) That's where we ended at, pretty surprised they offered that much, but glad. I wasn't looking forward to looking at other jobs to catch up to market value.

7) Feeling pretty good considering I've never negotiated anything before.

Had a performance review with my boss .... got a promotion and a raise 😊

Was just asked to take on even more work. Asked for a raise. "there's no room in the organization for a new position". Yes, but you can still pay me more.

I'm not comfortable enough to do more work without more pay. Sorry.

We'll see what happens.

Just accepted a new position with a raise!

Feels good.

A friend of mine went to her boss and said that she will quit if she won't get 50% salary raise - boss said ok. She told about it her working colleague so he went to the boss and said 50% or I'll quit - boss said cleanup your desk...

Was struggling with depression and stress for an extended period. So, naturally, I had more sickdays than average.
However, I was still managing to overperform on my goals, so when it came time to discuss salary I was hopeful.

Didn't get a raise, not even a pat on the back. My manager told me he couldn't justify giving me the raise I had earned simply because I had had too many sick days. So my actual performance didn't count. Everybody else got raises though.

On a previous occasion he told me that I had to 'Learn what it means to have a job' and get my priorities straight. I told him I already had very little social life so I could spend what little energy I had on work. I tried to explain to him how depression works and he assured me he understood.

Yeah, right. My colleague with back problems, who suddenly couldn't walk, didn't get that treatment.

Depression is real. I'm so glad they ended up firing me so I could work for a place that cares.

When i ask for a raise -

Boss : Are u joking ? I can see u hardly working.

When I ask for a leave -

Boss : Are u joking ? Who will do your work ?

Sometimes I wish I was allowed to just strangle my colleagues...

Example from the 'code base':

try:
do_something()
except Exception as e:
log(e)
do_something()

When I asked why they would redo the same call right after it failed I was told that 'It works the second time because it takes time to raise the Exception '.

Bitch, you've got a race condition in your sensitive banking software. You know it's there. Do you really want to trust the time needed to raise your exception will always be enough to synch that dumpster fire you call code?
Show some fucking respect for your craft and fix that shit. But of course they won't, because it will work flawlessly until it suddenly stops working. Taking down who knows what in this damn, undocumenred monolith with it....

Sometimes I'm honestly afraid to trust banks with my money.

When someone is watching over my shoulder my codeability sinks with 30%. When coding in just underware my codeability raises with 10%.

Last time someone watched over my shoulder I felt the -30 and tried to raise to -20 by entering underware-mode. Didnt work, somehow they couldnt combine. Turned out to a really awkward situation and codeability instead dropped even more!! Around -70% felt like a project manager!!!

!rant

Got pulled into a meeting with my PM at 4:30 yesterday. Was a bit worried (been feeling some imposter syndrome recently), but then he starts out, "These are my favorite meetings to have." I got a pretty big raise! Totally unprompted. I love my job and my PM.

So today I got let go from my job.

I've worked for this company for about 2.5 years, and soon after joining I became the only IT resource for software. I had to support literally everything after they fired the rest of the team, but I did a great job and have been praised by all the management at the company.

A few months ago, after a salary review and a frank discussion with my boss and his boss, they agreed that I am due for a raise. They had a massive project coming up with a lot of extra expenses, but I was told that right afterward they would be giving raises.

I spent tons of late nights and weekends on this project, and we were able to get it mostly finished about a 1.5 months ago. I was instrumental in the project (the rest of the IT team didn't even know how to set up simple DNS records). An email was sent to the whole company thanking me for all the work I put into the project.

A week ago, I messaged my boss to ask about the status of raises as he had told me they should be going out at the beginning of this month. He said there won't be any raises, and that's all I heard. Then today I get a call telling me that they are letting me go.

Let me get this straight: you led me on with talk of a raise just to keep me here working long hours for your big project, and then you fire me after recognizing what a great job I did? That's just sick. I have watched them treat other employees and partners unethically, but it took getting it first hand to realize how bad it really is. My teammates were in shock when I said I was leaving as they have all leaned on me very heavily.

Fortunately, I have had several offers come in over the last few months (2 this week) for more pay. I only held off because of the lies I was told about receiving a raise and out of a false sense of loyalty. I'm not worried about my future at all, just angry at the way I was treated.

Ever been at a company that makes you feel worthless and useless? To add to that, have a director who has physically assaulted you? Company refuses to train, but demands that certain set of skills. Won't give a raise but has literally millions in funds for advertising. Yeah. Fuck that.

Vertical + horizontal desk community, raise your hands up✌️✌️

I fucking saw it coming!

I discussed with my manager a much required raise given the number of patents the company has filed on my work, successfull completion of a full-scale ML product in 6 fucking months and working as a team lead for the last 2 month.

"We cannot bypass the policy of appraisal every one year"
and
"This is not the right time to ask for a raise from management"

And still that scumbag expects me to work on saturday, dedicate more that 9 hours everyday, not complain about the poor management and arrive on time everyday !

It is really time to leave this shithole company and this piece of shit manager who btw draws most of the budget allocated to the team.

I think I have realised not to give more fucks than paid for to any job no matter what.
Hands down. Fuck this!

My insurance company sending me the payment slip by post with my username and password to the online account for easy access. How sweet of them. 10/10 customer satisfaction.

I see your "Storing passwords in plain text". I raise you to "sending passwords via post in plain text".

Friday morning, taking a sip of coffee reading mails. (nb: I started the job on Monday, and this is my very first job excepted internship)
*wild manager appears* : come with with me a second.
Me: wtf is that
Him: close the door
Me: shit what did I do
Him: so we're closing this really big deal with a big client/investor
Me: ok cool, what is the point to tell me that ?
Him: remember when we discussed your salary and we couldn't afford to hire you as high as you wanted ?
Me:... Yes ?
Him: well now we can
Me, starting to understand: ... And ?
Him: well your new salary is higher than what you asked in interview

And that's how I got a 8% raise after 4 days at my first job :')

Went for a raise. Got more than I wanted (but negotiated so boss thinks he got himself a deal). Fells good 😀
On the other side, with that I just reached lower end of average developer's wage in Poland...

Chrome, For the last fucking time!

I do NOT want to translate English from French to English!!!

Wtf is wrong with you?
English is French, German is French, did I miss the raise of the global French empire?

FFS!

Raise your comment ✋

Are you done yet?
Is it ready for review ?
How far?
Any updates?
When can I check?
We are wasting time..
How long will it take ?
Are you saying this will take 2 days to complete?
😪😪😪
Pls raise a cup with me if you can relate.
Add yours too.

HR manager: we just realized we underpaid you a lot in the last 4 years, for all the job you are doing. You'll get 30% pay rise from now on.

Outer Me: thanks, great!
Inner Me: ....shit...

I got the raise, I looked for another job and found it in 4 months. 60% pay raise, better role.

I love companies that only use titles like 'Analyst'. Then, they can make you work as a developer, business analyst, tester, help desk, or project manager and there's no way you can ask for a raise or promotion

We had a manager that blind-sided the entire Team. During annual reviews, he gave everyone on the Team an unsatisfactory/not meeting expectations. Why? Because rather than rating us on the work we were being assigned, he rated us against what our job descriptions said, but you can't do work you don't have. Not once, during any of our monthly one on one reviews did he tell any of us that we weren't meeting standards. No one on the Team got a pay raise that year. But, karma. Several month later, the company decided to do a 360, which is where we get to rate our manager anonymously. We're still here; he's gone.

My devGoals for 2018:
- Build a RESTful API with NodeJS just for learning.
- Finish my first product (electronics sideproject).
- Convert more people to use CraftCMS or at least not use Joomla or WP.
- Get a raise.
- Add Continuous Integration to more projects.
- Add more unit testing where appropriate.
- Create and release a mobile app.

To be continued...
*playing to be continued meme sound*

I finally realize why the managers at my work are so against remote work.

We've gone remote now and had a meeting yesterday that somewhat demanded people to be engaged. I have never seen such grown up and otherwise professional people act so irresponsible. Managers had to raise their voice towards 30+ year olds in order to get their attention.

I've been silently hoping that remote work would become more accepted, as a silver lining, during this Corona shit. But if this is common behaviour in other workplaces then I guess I can kiss that dream goodbye.

How tf does these even make sense?! That's a fucking sledgehammer and large metal chisel on fucking steroids. If your parents don't know what the fuck those are and realize they have nothing to do with fixing a relatively flimsy box (in comparison) they probably need more than their WiFi fixed, but since they managed to fucking raise you, I doubt they're that dumb. I get that parents might not always understand technology, but shit, at least respect the fact that they survived without the Internet, which you probably couldn't do...

Big "company summit" this week where everyone flies in and we discuss the future of the company (sadly not over drinks). I might be getting promoted with stock and pay increase, and allowed to hire another dev.

Yet, here I am, updating and sending out my resume, and hoping for something, anything.

A 30% raise wouldn't be enough to deal with all of this madness.

After 6 months at this company, I finally got a raise! They sure know how to make a dev happy 🍻🍻🍻

When manager is happy with what I am saying and intern tries to raise hands

2 colleagues left the company and I got a pay raise, so that I stay. Getting more money without the fuss of changing jobs is awesome.

Typical TSA (Airport Security)

Security: Please put all of your handheld objects and your outer clothes in this basket.
Me: (puts my bag, in flight luggage, and takes out laptop, bluetooth speaker, bluetooth mouse, bluetooth keyboard, tablet, android phone, dongle bag, and windows phone)
S: (stares at me as if I am a rich kid)
M: May I go through?
S: (nods)
M: (smirks, and goes through metal detector)
BeepBeepBeep!
M: (oh shit.)
Scanning Officer: Raise your hand!
M: Mmmhmm
S: (Hovers the detection stick around my body, but it doesn't ring, tells me to pass through the detector again. Still rings. Super confused. Asks me to do this 2-3 times more. Still same.)
M: Aha! I have my bluetooth earphones here! Sorry!
S: (stares at me, as if he is saying what a f****** weirdo)
My stuff comes out. I put my devices in the bag. The scanning officer stares at me.
M: (smirks)

To be continued....

Simply put.. I asked for a raise in my salary and I got more than I expected. Praise the lord!

Just put my job on the line today and went to my boss's, boss's, boss's boss to raise concerns and protect my team from terrible management. He apologized to me and has scheduled a meeting to talk to the team to let them know they are valued. Sounds like middle management is going to get a talking to. Fingers crossed.

Raise your hand if you agree

I'm always offended when I sit on the toilet and the seat is made of a highly conductive material. It's like bro, my ass is not a battery with which you can raise your potential energy. Gah

I asked my boss if I could be reimbursed for the calories that I spend converting food that I paid for into heat for their toilet seats and she said no unfortunately they do not offer toilet seat energy loss compensations. I guess that was kind of flawed concept though because there's people out there that actually pay gyms so they can burn calories for free, so as long as there's that I have no negotiating leverage.

I think toilet seats should be made out of a material with low thermal conductivity so that I can use that energy on thinking, not heating up a toilet seat.

I met with the CTO of a local tech company today for a beer, at the recommendation of a friend who currently works at the company. They're looking for Software Engineers and wanted to see if I'd be a good fit.

I'm not actively looking to leave my current job, as I love it there. I was just curious to see what other opportunities were out there.

After the beer, he pretty much offered me the job on the spot for $30,000 to $40,000 more than my current salary, along with benefits. When I asked if there was any sort of technical interview, he said that this meeting was actually the technical interview, and that by the time he had finished his first beer, he could already tell that I would be a good fit. He wants me to meet with his Lead Architect and CEO soon just to see if we all click and then we'll go from there.

The only problem is that I really love my current company. I love the work, the atmosphere, the autonomy, and my coworkers. But an extra $30k to $40k per year is a lot of money.

If everything works out and they give me an official written offer, I'm going to see if my current job will counteroffer. I know my boss would happily counteroffer if he's given authorization from the higher-ups, it's just a matter of exactly how much they're able to counteroffer.

Boss told me he couldn't raise my salary, since according to him, I was already overpaid. Months later they suddenly outsource some positions, including mine. I got 6 months with payment as a parachute. But I also got a new job that pays $15 000 more each year...!

It's nice to have double salary for 6 months...

:)

Today I decided to quit my job. Yesterday I had my yearly review couldn't be more perfect, I did everything they asked me for and more (help with recruitment, animate conferences, work very late a lot of time, work during my vacation days...) yet to be surprised that I will only have 3% raise (on a low salary). I feel not valued and I was very disappointed :(

I was about to ask my manager to roll me out off the project in my company.. it has been 4 years .... Yesterday he came and told me he is going to give me an big fat Raise !

0. Get a raise
1. Nove out
2. Learn GoLang
3. Have a threesome
4. More weed
5. Build a blockchain project

I asked my manager for a compensation adjustment today since my peers at the same tenure and experience as me were making $30,000 more than me. They said no since I haven't worked on any big projects yet and the projects that were big enough, I didn't do it by myself so they don't count.

I'm not sure if they know how software teams work... I'm pretty sure we make software for TEAMs...

Everytime someone compliments me on my work all I can't think of is:

- ok,ok, shut the fuck up and give me a raise already.

Got a new job this week with a huge raise at an awesome new company! It's wonderful being paid what you're worth! Now if the current company can just fire me so I can have a two week vacation, that'd be great.

Funny how it's the conversation when I give my 2 weeks notice that all this comes up, like:

1) how they were "talking about giving me a raise"
2) how they were "hiring more people" so I could spend more time coding and less time doing bullshit
3) how they were going to fix all the other broken things in the company

How do you think it would fly if instead they fired me and I promised to fix everything that's wrong about my working there after the fact?

Anyway, I knew they would pull this bullshit so it was expected. Excited that I signed the new offer today. Finally getting market rate pay and expecting better work environment as well. 🐶

Got a 5$ raise... Didn’t see this coming. More money for the govs and bitcoin investment, yeah!!

So some student complained that the busses are to full in the morning (they are filled with students).
Student: "why don't they drive more busses?"
Me: "because that would raise prices of busses since more drivers and fuel is needed. It's simple economics"
Student: "Public transit already is way to expensive, they can easily drive more busses and trains for that"
Me: "public transit is already way to expensive.... Oh look! An iPhone, MacBook, AirPods, Apple Watch, Dr Martins and other overpriced shit you have with you now!"

I raise my middle finger:

- to the past developers of this 4 year old piece of garbage project that we are maintaining, who thought that using StringBuffers to construct html documents as a Http response as a good idea

- to the bosses and managers, who keeps on giving unreasonable deadlines yet passes accountability to others.

I gave you all a Linus Torvalds style fuck you!!

That is it, I decided to resign

Fuck yea, got a raise bigger than expected! Not a lot more, but it atill feels good man

That moment you realise you’re on holidays and you’re still fucking working 🤦‍♂️

I think I need a raise for this shit,

What if the long term goal of @trogus and @dfox is to create a developer army, hell bent on the destruction of project managers and clients everywhere (except the cool ones).

I mean I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Just wanted to... You know.... Raise some attention.

When support guys don't even read documentation and directly raise P1 bug

I just deleted 3.5TB of junk data from S3, effectively saving my company about 88 dollars.

I feel so fucking good.

Think I'm going to ask for a raise😂

I call your web design problems and raise you my html email design problems.

Fucking outlook.

all the brave souls who are deploying today -- raise your hands!

!(!rant)

So I wanted a raise and the only way was becoming a software lead.

With that title you get more money but also more responsibility, so you have the last word in technical decisions, you review architecture, do tech interviews, guide the less experienced, etc. I can handle that, even as introverted as I am.

What nobody told me was that I was going to spend my whole time on fucking meetings, one after another, I have not touched my IDE in days, I hate this shit already.

Careful what you wish for they say, so true, I'm stuck here and I hate my job now, probably going to quit as soon as I recover my life, if ever.

Not being able to raise volume of my laptop with only one hand because the fn and f11 keys are just one hand and 3mm apart really kills me !

Sorry bitch raised her voice at me because “it’s ITs job to change a lightbulb!” BITCH! I will shove that fucking lightbulb down your throat.... and I’ll make damn sure it busts so you NEVER raise your annoying fucking voice at me again.

Found out a senior dev threw me under the bus for a mistake I made while coding and it affected my raise. Not only was I never initially informed of the mistake, I was never told what went wrong and why it needed fixing. We also don't implement code reviews or anything of the sort. Seems like a great avenue for improvement and growth, right? 😑

Bug: Call
Me: I see, I call your 'bug' and raise you a 'Fix'
Bull: Raise 200
Me: Fold :/

During QA for a huge project when our dev team was confident of the stability of the project, We started introducing small bugs, QA team use to raise bugs in Jira, we marked them as not reproducible.

Frustrated QA started coming to our cubes - at this point dev team worked in a perfect coordination like a man to man marking in hockey. While one dev asked QA guy to reproduce the bug in front of him while the other dev has already fixed it.

Continued for a couple of days till our team lead was satisfied with the revenge.

!rant

One day Boss was doing code review of my work
Boss to me: What the fuck dev1!?!? All efforts I spent to quit smoking and your XML routine gave me cancer anyway!

Another day, a colleague needed to make change to a program that hasn't been changed in looong time and sees a commit from our Boss done 15yrs ago!!!

Dev2 to Boss: Boss this signal catching routine sucks dicks! How did you become a our Boss?
Me to dev2: He sucked as many dicks as his routine did
Boss to us: Oh look! Performance appraisal is due this week. Bye-bye 7.5%

Here 7.5% referring to pay raise that is average pay raise

What I've learned from my boss
-UI is easy to change, it's only css
-It is always low level programmer fault
-Management is never wrong
-You have to be early for them to be extra late
-Complex thing have to be simple
-Being straightforward is only one way
And lastly never ever expect a raise

You guested it, I don't work there anymore! Fuckin cunt

I don't like noob techies who are into IT for the money.

My friend is jealous of me and he wants to get to my level. I told him that he should take Oracle certifications if he wants a good chance to a raise or a promotion (at least, it's a well-respected series of certs and everyone I know who took them got serious salary increases and respect from their managers).
For example, I studied for 12 weeks, for 12 hours per day for the OCA. He thinks he can just quickly cram a cert in three days and get big money. Nope.

This guy failed Network+ countless times. I remember he wanted to quickly get his CCNA when he barely understands how folders work.

The level of foolishness is amazing..
Yeah, anyway..

Just got a phone call that slapped me with a raise and I was in such a shit mood today and I’ve got fucking flu... a raise is just what I needed

Wohoo!!! Boss is paying me more!

Still a bargain for the level of work I’m doing but at least it is more reasonable.

I saw your obiglated setup photo, i raise you my work cubicle.

Raise your exception if you love mechanical keyboards.

New job surprise: I will inherit a 900k lines of php code from a contractor dev shop. It is the company erp web app.
It has no version control, tests, architecture or configuration management of any kind.
There are just 1800 bug ridden files with almost no comments in a directory with lots of code duplication.
Also just learned that the contractor was paid a lot monthly for over 2 years for this monster.

I will need a raise quickly. At least management understands that I will need a couple of months to get a semblance of order in this madness.

And to you contractor I have your address and i'll try to restraint myself from vandalizing your house but I can't make any promises.

And fellow developers send help or beers or come and join me to teach this bastard a lesson.

You know you have some power, when your boss asks you for your opinion and advice about how to structure an upcoming project and which technologies and frameworks to use.

Give me that raise already.

Just got an email with a new really nice douche-bag move from Postman to raise their prices again (this time for almost double) on their paid plans with excuse "it will help us deliver more of what our customers need from us."

Even though I've decided to look other way around for years on their electron-based garbage of bloated app, have not been a fan of their pricing 8$/month/user just for a simple feature such as sharing request schema and environment data.

This simply needs to stop and I'm seriously thinking about doing something about it. 🙄

Leader: Meeting starts in 10 mins, we have to show this to the boss
*Team member breaks database silently
*I notice the API has stopped working
Leader: Anyone , anything you want to tell me before the meeting.
*I raise my hand
Me: Yep, the API is not working :)
*Everybody ... FACEPALM

I was called in to a meeting this afternoon, and for some strange reason, my boss had all our salaries written on a board, and I guess she had forgot to erase them before I got in. I've been thinking about asking for a raise for a few months now, but after seeing that list, I'm wondering if I should ask for more than I had previously contemplated. Would that be considered unethical?

When you get a raise and promotion but you get indirectly told that it wasn't well deserved and now you'll have to up your game to justify it. :-/

It’s a pretty good feeling when you’ve been sweating deadlines, stay in late, worrying about users, testing, maintaining a list of projects as long as your arm but your boss comes to you and low key asks you to be CTO of the company. It’s a small company so we don’t officially have that title but that’s the role I’ll be filling!

How people chat with their girlfriend-

BOYS - chat on WhatsApp

Men - calls directly on phone

Programmers -Raise an Issue & comment on GitHub😂😜

Got a raise today and promised a promotion next year. Feels good!

Last week I got assigned to an important AND interesting project!

Today I got a raise!

2019 is starting off nicely :)

In knew it was bad at the time, but holy shit have I realised how shitty my last job was!

Underpaid (though still not doing too badly), underappreciated, and no promotion or raise despite promises of one for over a year. Of course the minute I handed in my notice, they immediately offered me a 15k raise and "oh, we can get you involved in the management side in 6 months".

Guess what bitches, my new job * is * being a manager, and I get a 20k pay rise. 2 weeks in and I'm loving it, wish I'd switched sooner!

The catch is, I'm now a manager. Does this make me the future bad guy?

Ever since I left my ex company 8 months ago, 4 people already left it (3 devs). And they’re still looking for back-end developer to replace me. If they wouldn’t have been so greedy when I asked them for a raise, they probably would still have me working there. Last summer they even asked me to freelance for them.

Must say, it’s quite satisfying to see that company going down now.

I got my promotion by forcing it. I work at a fairly large gov organization and have done so for 2.5 years. I had been asking for a pay rise for years but was always told there’s no budget. I was doing work way beyond my pay grade as many senior devs had left. Eventually I got really sick of it so applied to another company, took 5 interview rounds but I had an offer that was a 30% raise on my salary at that time.

I submitted my resignation fully thinking that i’m going to leave, but what do you know, my division not only found the budget but did so in 2 days to come back with a counter offer. It’s funny how when push comes to shove, money that previously didn’t exist just appears out of no where

>Installed a new graphics card (thanks santa <3)
>Boots into Ubuntu
>Try to SSH. No route to device.
>Log in locally. "Failed to start raise network interfaces"
>ok.
>find out that installing graphics card renamed enp2s0 to enp3s0.
>ok.

Worst fight?

Stubborner against stubbornest.

About a focking fact that was trivially true or false. Fun fact: it didn't matter anyway.

Boy, did we raise our voices and attract the attention of everybody in the room. Lesson learned.

When there is no Grow potential at your position
Boss is not willing to give you a raise. And any other place earns 1.5x more at least with better benefits.

But you really like the position and colleagues.

That is a difficult decision to make.

Startup rant ---

John and Bob joined a startup at the same day but they were in two different offices.

John joined the US office while Bob joined the European office (let's not share the country here ;) )
Both of them worked really hard, they worked longer hours, showed result and helped the startup to reach and get Serie A funds.

That seems good no? But let's step back, John was promoted twice and get more perks while Bob got only a salary raise that aligned him with the current market.

There are different reasons for this but the most important one is that the company is having two different cultures for the two offices.

What's funny here is that Bob effort is well known across the two offices and his contribution has made a huge difference to the company but unfortunately he wasn't rewarded for it.

So Bob opened a new window not in his office but in his browser to find better opportunities.

FUCK YOU PHP, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU GIVE ME DECEMBER 1ST WHEN I DO
strtotime('-1 month', '12/31/2015)
USING DateTime PRODUCES THE SAME FUCKING RESULT. ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED OR WHAT?
YEAH I KNOW NOVEMBER DOESN'T HAVE 31ST BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST RETURN 30TH OR EVEN RAISE A WARNING, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

You send the client a quote:
"Hey, you should raise your price, you'll never get rich this way..."

On the next job for the same client, I decide to raise the price to be a little more profitable, but still reasonably priced:
"F*CK YOU, THIEF!"

Me: This is going to be a big issue

*Crickets*

Me: (X10) Raise same issue

*Crickets*

Suddenly my Friday starts with two teams going "HEY THIS IS AN ISSUE!"

Me: No shit? I never would have guessed. See you when I get back from vacation!

I tried to contact 3 developers of restify (famous node js package) to tell them about my library anumargak (node js based router). I received the response from one guy finally who talked to other developers when I explained the advantages of switching to this new router.

They all were happy to switch and asked me to do necessary changes and raise a PR. I did it and then they stopped responding.

Currently working as student part timer on a company that I really like.
When I'll finish my bachelor's degree, I will have been there for about 2-3 Years, additional to my 5 years working prior to that as a developer.

Today I learned, that our company doesn't usually pay the market price for devs (not a huge company, 150 employees, so it's understandable).
So now I don't know what to shoot for when discussing a raise after my degree. Should I still aim for market price? Should I argue with that and hope for the best?
I'm really unsure about that stuff...

I had a performance review with my boss and his boss today.

After they told me what they wanted to, they asked for my feedback. I was very honest with them and didn't only tell them the good stuff but the things I've been disappointed with as well.

Well, last year was mostly a big fat disappointment for me at the company, both on a professional and a personal level, which seemingly took them by surprise and hurt their feelings because they think it is the best place to work at. Even though I tried to make my feedback as constructive as possible, they didn't really seem to understand the problems and kept saying what a good company this is and what amazing opportunities will this year hold.

And they gave me a raise before I could even ask for it.

When you estimate development time for a feature and management asks: "But aren't there widgets or sth that you can... [you raise an eyebrow] like... drag and drop or something...?"

Raise your hand if your ready for the GDPR on the 25th may.

Raise your glass if your getting shitfaced so you don't have to think about how many ways you're not.

TFW you come into work and told you got a raise 😁

Soooo might turn into the lead developer of the web services of 2 fucking schools with the manpower of 2 for which one of us ain't even a developer all because HR put my lead developer in the hospital and he might be so fucking fed up that he may not come back to work.

Fuck
Human
Resources

Holy fuck man.....I was already a lead mobile developer before and i fucking hated every minute of it and the pay raise ain't even gonna be worth it for the ammount of shit that i am going to be required to do.

Fuck this, fingers crossed man I really want my boy to come back cuz I don't wanna deal with this bullshit.

I seriously never thought i would be in this position and by heavens i have been in some shit before.

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Fingers crossed my boy gets better man fr.

I was reading a book and came across this :
"
What if you were a doctor and had a patient who demanded that you stop all the silly hand-washing in preparation for surgery because it was taking too much time? Clearly the patient is the boss; and yet the doctor should absolutely refuse to comply. Why? Because the doctor knows more than the patient about the risks of disease and infection. It would be unprofessional (never mind criminal) for the doctor to comply with the patient. So too it is unprofessional for programmers to bend to the will of managers who don’t understand the risks of making messes.
"
It's fair point but at the same time we have to comply with the manager in order to have a raise/promotion. What do you think guys ?

So, i live in Venezuela, a country with a lot of economical and political issues. Back in December I talked to my boss an ask for a pay raise, he talked me a lot of shit about economical issues his has been having with the Enterprise and give my a raise plan til July (starting in December).

Now he comes to me and tell me he can't afford to pay me the rest of the raise, because he's now in difficult times. The funny thing is I've talked to him many times to point it out some things that are bad and will cause him money loss.

I really don't want to go because I love the people I'm working with (they have the same problem that I) but is fucking frustrating when all is going wrong and you have some ideas to solve it, ideas you have searched a lot and came with a plan after a bunch of investigation, you come up with the plan everybody seems to love it but after that nobody applies it.

I think there is no much more I can do

(This happened a few days ago:)
First day on the job, last session of debriefing, HR comes to explain us some company policies.
Among them, they want us to fill in our working hours using a smartphone app (Android & iOS only).
I raise my hand and I ask them what can I do, since I have a Windows Phone.
HR lady's face is striken with sheer terror. Since then, I'm known as the "Windows Phone Guy"... 😁
I'm more than proud of myself. 🙂

P.S. We also got some cool Windows tablet to use during our training period...

Today I had a client raise a high defect directly with my boss’s boss. I got called into a meeting and was told
I needed to fix it immediately.

I looked and realized it was in their code and not our component. I told them as much. They asked me if I would still fix it. I refused. Told them it’s not my component. Fix your own problems.

Sat their as my boss’s boss asked them how they functioned if they didn’t even understand their own component. Feels good man. All I could do is smile at them trying not to laugh.

!rant
Hopefully I'm getting an early promotion this month and moving to a city I wanted to 😄

Also got a glowing review from the boss to be read by his boss.

Gonna negotiate the raise tonight. Naturally, I'm super happy, so I Thought I'd share. Wish me luck.

!rant

Certainly considering handing in my notice soon.

1. Paid minimum wage with no prospect of a raise
2. Spending £200 a month on travel
3. Traveling for almost 4 hours (70 miles) a day on bus and train
4. Promised training but nothing produced for 8 months
5. Expected to now pay for further travel
6. Not taken seriously...

Yep, need a new job in the Birmingham, UK area

* No raise after one year, even that I don't earn that much
* Working in the oldest project
* Everyday I have to make quick fixes, usually requested by leader
* No spare time to rewrite shitty code - always something have higher priority (like doing some tasks that I shouldn't do, just because I had no tasks for next sprint)
* Got feedback from leader that I "hack" too much instead of writing code properly (see third dot)
* Every company around pays more and have more up-to-date stack
* The only guy that wanted to change stuff and use more generic approaches from other teams just threw resignation paper

>be me, working at IBM as CC operator
>onboarding freeze, people leaving team, not enough operators
>take extra workload to sustain monitoring
>no raise
>team gets merged with other CC team(different customers)
>take over of developing full workload automation project
>no raise
>sick coworker, have to take more extra workload to cover monitoring
>get tiny raise
>coworker gets the same raise for only one extra workload
>be expected to do both programming and monitoring for the little salary
>too autistic to quit
>too autistic to confront my mamager with this

What do, devRant?

I see your cable hell and raise you my cable hell

(This is my PS4 + PSVR setup + some other stuff in my living room)

Sooooo

First of all sorry for lack of ranting
But this people started to behave.

UNTIL YESTERDAY. You gonna love it.

Junior coding front end. HE NOT TOUCHING BACKEND THANK GOD.
He realises his suggestion made him to do some changes in the code. Apparently that is the end of the wolrd "a developer proposing a change and then the code must be changed??? No no" that's how his brain works. Check this.

He decides not to do two pages for creating models so he combined two models in one page. TWO MODELS IN ONE PAGE. Sooo modelB depends on ModelA. Fine. front end:" so backend has to change because im doing this in one page"
Me:" mmm no, you said treat them as separate entities besides they are on the same screen"
He:" ok, but then if I create all together the modelB is going to raise an error"
(Let me tell you he says this with expert voice, because he said "raise" and "error" so he got technical now)

*my boss said some white noise irrelevant to the conv but he is happy because he contributed and is involved*
Me:"the way data is sent has nothing to do with the way data is shown"

He:" whatever crap he can say trying to prove his point desperately "
Me: "yes, but the backend is not going to change every time a form/page changes the way to display data"

He"i dont think u understand "
Me:" i think i do"

Now I can finally say that Linux is the best os I've ever used.
It's is just awesome. Everything can be controlled here easily. No fuss in installing and stuff. I wish I had started using this OS right from the beginning. Thank you to all the members of Linux community.
Linux community raise your hands up.

Just spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out why my page would raise a blob not found in the console, then finally checked the actual origin script headers and saw this, fuck.. I should go sleep.

I was taking some Ms certification courses a while back just for the pieces of paper since I didn't have a college degree. I took their entrance exam and apparently scored in te top 3% so I knew it was going to be a breeze.

I started out sitting near the front of the classroom, but I never really paid attention to the teacher, I worked through the practice book during lectures. This apparently distracted the class because they would come to me for help rather than raise their hand or ask the teacher.

Eventually he pulled me aside on a smoke break and asked what I was doing in his classroom if I already knew what I was doing. I explained the situation and he just laughed. But he did ask me to sit in the back corner quietly and allow him to teach the rest of the class. And I could do my thing until the certification exams.

Got a weird bug report, 6 red bull later i'm a energizer bunny on speed. But have found and fixed a severe underlaying bug. Can't believe noone had noticed for years.

Now i'm afraid to report it to my boss cause it most likely costed us a lot of money over time. And I just got shafted in the pay raise so my loyalty is low.

When you leave a great job for a big raise only to realize the pay is so good because you have to deal with a monster manager with a god complex.

Any fun self-hosted app or useful services you guys use on your own server?

For some weeks I have started to host my own git repository with gogs and take continious development into my control with jenkins and feel pretty neat.

Now I understand why my grandmother loves to raise her own food even when she could buy everything in the supermarket.

Raise your hand if you work in an open office landscape and fucking hate it

So two guys at the company I work for just quitted, We were 4 in the "dev" department, 2 front end and 2 back end, now we're just 1 front and 1 back, should I try to get a raise?? I've been working steady for 8 months now.

I started working at my company a year ago.
Back then I was just graduating from sofware engineering degree.
The position was Junior Web Dev, But actually it is full stack developer.
When I joined I wanted salary X (because I "got offers"), which was a bit above what big companies like Intel gives to graduates back then.
The offered back 80% of it, which was a bit more than was most graduates got in startups.
I settled on their offer and we agreed that after a year I'll get the raise if I'll do good.

A year passed.
The team leader left for a bigger company, and I became the unofficial team leader (and was always the scrum master )
Bare in mind that there are two developers that are in the company for 2-3 years, yet I got the unofficial roll.

We had the talk, and my manager asked me straight away "under what salary would you start to search other jobs? We want to keep you here"
I said that under my initial X salary that we agreed a year ago.
He claimed to have forgotten that we agreed on 20% raise.
I answered that it's the least I ask, beneath it and I'll start looking for another job.

He replied that he'll do his best to make the owner give me that.

A week passed and I got no update....

What should I do in your opinion?

IBM, because I work in there.
Well maybe it wouldn't be as bad if I didn't work at command centre. From the beginning I did my best to get a promotion, but it resulted in me having shitton of workload and no raise. Maybe it's just shitty management tho. But still.

Got a 50% raise but have to learn VB in the next month. Any good places to start?

Lol .. Raise your hand if you can relate this meme 😂😂.

This meme remind me my job position as a web developer and what I actually do 😂😂

Yesterday, I asked for a double raise of my salary from mine p.manager.

I told him that I had an offer from another company with double salary.So we discussed the possibilities to have a good raise without changing company. He told me that can't be sure for my salary plan, but he will try to do the best.

I am still working in same company with same salary.

Who was bluffing better? 😑

Okay, so there's this thing I've noticed. Whenever I find another job the old job suffers very hard very soon. So far there were these cases:
- goes bancrupt wthn a month after I left
- the department gets closed due to reorganisation next week after I left
- a sinkhole opens up right under the 14 stores building I left 2 months ago
- and today... 10 minutes before I go to a job interview on my lunch break prod db pulls a failed-hdd-and-all-data-is-now-lost stunt...

Every single workplace I've left suffered a lot. Is this some kind of a superpower? Can I fight evil with it? Should I put it on my cv? Should I let my manager know...? Or ask for a raise? :D

Long meeting with a coworker presenting a huge, complicated system to track changes to configuration files.

Basically, whenever someone needs to change a config file, this person is supposed to manually enter an entry to a changelog file, and the build system is supposed to give an error if the person forgets to update the changelog.

At the end of the 1 hour long presentation, I raise my hand and say: "we are already using git for our config files, look:

$ git log <filename>

here you can see the list of changes to the file. What you describe is already available, no need to reinvent it."

Long akward silence in the room.

The presenter: "okay, I will look into that. Any other questions?"

Haven't heard about that project since then.

So, you are telling me that I should motivate myself? For working in a dead end job with no scope of promotion, no imminent raise, ever changing job requirements, layoffs, empty cubicles, zero SDLC process in place, no oversight from upper management, it is somehow my fault for me being late to work everyday?

One of these days, I'm going to fling my resignation paper at your face and drop the mic!

Man, Fuck you son!

I work for a company, but I get paid very little.
I threatened to leave and they said “wait six months before leaving”.
I did some interviews here and there, and this week I’ll have two different proposals on my desk.
I told that to my boss and he replied “go and bring those proposals back, we’ll use those to try to improve your salary”
Why do I have to deceive a company, that’s wasting time, to actually have a salary raise in my company?
The other companies know part of the situation, and I told them that I have a few proposals on my desk.
When my actual company will make the proposal that will keep me where I am I’ll tell the others that I had a better opportunity and that I have to refuse their offer.
This is pissing me off, I just want to work, I hate making fun of people, I’m sorry for them wasting time for me.

When someone was asking for a raise, our boss invited that person to his office, waiting with pen and big notepad, to explain in several pages why he cannot give it (taxes, expenses, excuses etc.)

When I went to give my resignation, he had to expect this will be another talk about a raise he refuse, cause the pen and notepad were ready, but this time he didn't had to write anything anymore.

Jeez maybe it's just me, not a very smart user, but after at least 6 years with iPhone5, just before changing it, I discovered how to raise the volume without logging in the phone first:

I press the home button, Siri show up, and THEN the fucking raise/lower audio buttons are working.

6 years typing the fucking pin just to raise the volume.
6 fucking years missing notifications and calls just because I forgot the fucking volume on the lower tone. Almost lost a girlfriend for that.

What would you choose:

- 35% raise + professional growth

- flexible hours with occasional home office but no professional growth

?

All in favor of deleting old code from a git repository to make it neat, raise your hand.

Ecma International, the organization in charge of managing the ECMAScript standard, has published the most recent version of the JavaScript language. ECMAScript 2016 (ES7 or JavaScript 7th Edition in the old naming scheme) comes with very few new features. The most important is that JavaScript developers will finally get a "raise to the power" operator, which was mysteriously left out of the standard for 20 years. The operator is **... It will also become much easier to search for data in a JavaScript array with Array.prototype.includes(), but support for async functions (initially announced for ES2016), has been deferred until next year's release. "From now on, expect smaller changelogs from the ECMAScript team," reports Softpedia, "since this was the plan set out last year. Fewer breaking changes means more time to migrate code, instead of having to rewrite entire applications, as developers did when the mammoth ES6 release came out last year."

Made an Aprils Fool joke to my boss, at 1 am on April 1st when we were working late. I planned to freak him out by saying I would quit.

- "There's something I have to talk to you about and I know it's a day late..."

(He understood by then it was a resignation at this point, he looked very sad and interrupted me.)

- "If it's just about money, I'm sure we can figure it out..."

(I felt so bad, I just wanted to prank him. So I told him I just April Fooled him, Winther taking it any further.)

A few moments later we had laughed about it, and I thought to myself: "Did he really wanna give me a huge raise? God damn it, I should have kept a poker face!!!" 😣🔫

I just found out that my company gives a lesser raise to higher paid employees so that eventually, everyone is paid around the same.

Guess I won't be staying here much longer.

Want to scare your boss? Wait for a day or two before month end and take all your stuff off your desk home with you.

some friend asked me today:
is it ok to lie to boss and say that I had a new job offer.. just to negotiate on the salary?

Me: post question on devrant

• Learn new things!
• Continue my programming projects (mostly C#), and eventually publish them!
• Create more programming side-projects!
• Create more music, of various genres, and finish unfinished tracks! (I love music 💙)
• Buy a violin, or another instrument! (I already play harpsichord and piano, and I love them both)
• Buy a new PC setup! (maybe?)
• Get a driver's license!
• Create more music sheets!
• Create more custom maps, on rhythm games! (like osu! or Cytus / Cytunity)
• Make new friends, and meet with my older ones more!
• Go to places, new and old!
• Open myself more to others! (I'm kinda shy)
• Do my university's exams, properly!
• Do my conservatory's exams, also properly!
• Try drawing!
• Try all sorts of new things!
• Get a cat into the family! (I love cats, but I never got one because I don't know how to raise them, yet)
• Be more confident about myself!

And... yeah, I guess that's it :D
What about you?
Have a happy 2019, everyone! 💙

So I've been working as an operator in IBM for a year now. Two months after my onboard our team got an onboarding freeze. Since then more than a half of the team left and more are supposed to go, soo there is a problem covering all the workload. I volunteered to take 4th customers workload (out of 4 customers our team supports) because I already knew most of the work that is done there.
At a one-to-one meeting with my manager I asked for a little raise, because I have the 4th customer, I take other peoples shift anytime they need to take a free day, I update the documentation regularly, I write scripts for coworkers for installing software/automating what can be automated (and I'm the youngest here...) bla bla, telling him that I think I do a lot for the team and I deserve it. He told me that he would rather take away one of the customers workload. I rolled my eyes and went with it.
Two days later this asshole gave a raise to a guy, who was onboarding with me, because he wanted to motivate him. That very same day he told us that it seems like two customers are going to merge into one workload.
I'm so pissed because of this. I do my best all the time so I can get promoted to 2nd level linux team (I'm kinda one foot there) but the freeze is still preventing me to go. I'm already so tired of dealing with the bullshit of customer not knowing their own infrastructure, shitstorms of tickets during changes after level 2 didn't set maintenance mode again, repairing coworkers linux boxes because they don't know better and I'm so pissed at this un-initiative dickhead of a manager that gives a raise to lazy people.

So I am pissed on my company's polices or whatever for finding out things that I should be ethically or culturally prying in.
These people hired two JS developers (Beginner Level in front-end & JavaScript) &
Company asked me to interview them and I did but I was not satisfied with their interview and told HR about it.

But HR still decided to hired them both and asked me to mentor them.

To this extant I was OK. But I found out that both of them are being paid more than me.

How can someone with more experience and skill be treated like this. and also being asked to mentor juniors who don't event know about closure in JavaScript ?

I am going to ask my boss for a raise as per my skill, performance and responsibilities.

#!/bin/not-a-rant
What's the best site to look for contract work for developers ? I have a salaried position but want to moonlight to raise money for adopting a girl . My wife and I have had eight
miscarriages , and adoption is prohibitively expensive!

Absolute hate for clients who just go about “I want it today” and not realise or understand that it’s them who need to sort out their issues before we can do our part.

The worst part is that my project manager remembers nothing so I have to jump into these discussions and raise issues.

.raise {
   display: none;
}

Project Manager logic (the best kind).

PM: Here are a list of the tickets we need to address next.

Architect: Hang on, didn't X raise a number of critical bugs yesterday? They were serious, we need to fix the critical bugs first.

PM: ... but he marked them all as critical

(so that means they aren't an issue? cool, i've been doing this wrong all my life)

Tomorrow starts a new guy in my team (I am TL), but I have never seen him before! 😕

A coworker resigned during the hiring process and has had his last day today and I am overtaking his team because my boss is unable to set up a job profile.

180% of workload and even more new guys arriving (2 more in the next 2 months!)

No salary raise either...

FML

Is this happening only on my device or someone else too?
(For non OCD People - See the week banner in the image)
If it is with everyone with similar device config... We can raise an issue

I am new at a company and I really like it. After one month I got a job offer from my most wanted company with a higher payment. Told my current boss. He said he is very happy with me and will give me a huge raise starting next year. I already got the details on contract.
What to do? Both jobs will pay me about the same. I love the current company and my colleagues but the new has much more challenging requirements and I feel like my life will get a little bit boring on the long run at my current job.

Our only pretty good and uderpayed graphic designed did not get raise so in few days he found company that offered him 1.5 more as starting wage.. Now we will be left with no designer and half of our project being behind schedule cause of unfinished graphic design.. losing 4x more than was raise that designer asked for...

Srsly there are greedy bosses.. then there are retarded bosses... but when Greedy retards run company it is next level idiocracy

Just found out I have more work than I can manage stacked up until mid 2018 - all for me and where I am a single point of failure. I have several manager fighting for me and some smaller pieces of work mixed in too.

Any advice on how to get a raise while my stock is high?

Don't you just hate it when your company's lead developer has so bad imposter syndrome, that he can't actually produce anything even moderately complex. Then it's you who has to fix his fuck-ups..I really need a raise.. :)

for the people saying they have devrant on the main screen or even to the once that have it in the quick actions (really nice idea) I raise you with this, I just have to push in the top left of my screen and it opens devrant.

When you raise a ticket with your support team that your prod server is currently down and they mark it as a medium request, like dude... seriously?! Get it sorted ASAP paleaaaaase

How to fix issues the easy way:

1. Provide users a way to raise issues
2. Immediately respond to new issues saying you added them to the internal ticketing system
3. Wait till the affected product reaches EoL
4. Tell the customer you are sorry, but as the product is now after EoL, you cannot use any resources on fixing the issue
5. Close the issue

Haha, fuck you kotlin! and your null safety!
I was able to break it 😆

After reading about its syntax for over 2 weeks , i finally sat down to write a simple parsing app completely in kotlin. And now i don't know how, but i am able to store a null in a "val x:String" (i.e a non null variable)

I am not going to claim it as some miracle or discovery as some other ranters, it might be a mistake. I am just a 21 yo Android/java dev trying to re write my old ,tested java code to kotlin by myself, without any auto convert, in the middle of night when i am 99% asleep by brain.

I will try to raise an SO question with details, but all i used was a simple volley request returning heterogeneous data, a gson convertor and a single activity,
Right now i am buzzing off to my sleep

I had debug my perfectly working program.
Let me explain.
I wrote a python perform some calculations and return the result. In case the calculations were not successful, it would raise an error.
For some reason, it worked on all test cases: gave correct output with correct inputs and raised errors on non correct inputs but when I used it with another function, it just failed.
Turns out I had written 'return myExcetion' instead of 'raise my exception'.
Lol, I was almost gonna give up programming

How does one ask for a raise without sounding desperate or an asshole?

Having other people pitch you to hiring managers, raise the hype, and profess faith in your abilities is kind of nerve-wracking. But I found a tutorial to teach me how to write a compiler and it’s not in a language I know, so that’s fun and distracting. Been up since 4am. Is now 12:30am. Should probably sleep.

Closure is LISP
LISP will raise again

Too many projects, too little time and didn't get a raise. So I now work on projects that people I like ask me to. Ignoring the other pm's while looking for a better job.

My client installed a new proxy that severely blocks out most of their own intranet, including their IT service desk. We can't raise tickets to let them know and their email just redirects us to their service desk. Fuck me these guys are idiots.

One of new junior devs after his 3 month "trial period" was good enough to keep him so he went to boss to talk about his future.

He came back with big smile and told us how much of big raise he got (now earning as much as seniors)

I asked my boss what was so special about him, maybe we should improve somehow, he answered "He was yelling at me, what could I do?"

Now I know how to approach him next time I talk about a raise :p

Found this gem reccurently in the codebase;

except Exception:
raise Exception("badthingshappend")

Asked for a raise today. Resulted in me getting told to fuck off.

Got a job offer but the salary is slightly lower than expectation. I ask for a raise of a $50 the guy refused, fuck then try other candidate.

The CS instructor who was (maybe an adjunct?) who no matter what homework we turned in gave us randomly different grades. We actually all handed in the same hw one time to see what would happen (only changing variable names and such), and confirmed it. Also, he used to call me J-Lo when I'd raise my hand to answer questions. (I was fit and am Latina) The second time he did it, I sternly corrected him in front of the whole class. He stopped after that. And yes he was gone from the school soon after!

So one of the PMs arranged a meeting last week for today, where he was going to "talk to us about a project we're currently working on".

Today the PM was off, so myself and a few other managers attended said meeting. Once everyone was in, one of the managers looked around, then at me and stated: "Have you not prepared your handover for this meeting?". I was just sat there like "WTF? What handover!?"

Apparently the PM decided to raise a meeting saying he was going to talk about the project, but then told all the other managers I was going to give a handover. He told everyone, but me!!

No wonder he didn't show up for it -.-

We just launched our web app service a month ago, clients pay thousands for it! of course still no raise.