Top 3 misunderstood things:
- The Flat Earth Society
- Pineapple on pizza
- People who code on a white background

Probably, Earth will end before WinRar's free trial.

coincidence?

I wish i had a time machine just to go back in time and shoot the people who invented Magento. What a load of crap.

Client calls: "hey man, my shit isnt working".
Me: "uh... Have you pressed ctrl+f5?" while coding on the speed of light so i can say it was his browser problem

Cloning a Magento project from FTP. 19693 files. From a basic template.
FUCK YOU MAGENTO!!

A few years ago, i was kinda bored on my internship, so i changed the name of all variables of some jquery functions i had on my code with lyrics from a song that was stuck on my head.
Never understood that code again.

Fifth server been created on amazon so i can finally deploy my laravel web app. Has been 3 days so far...
Fuck me

The urge to leave my parents house :D

Fucking worked, been gone for 3 years now.

So, i started TDD with ruby today. And i got to say, RSPEC IS SO FUCKING COOL

I love when people post a piece of their code here and got ranted for bad practices then posts "haha i was kidding, i would never do this" on the comment section.

I mean, we can learn here to, you're not suposed to be right 100% of the time, stop been so arrogant :/

OMFG! I just figured out the solution for low fps in every gaming console!

I hope this piece of (genius) code get to microsoft/sony!!!

So, there was this guy where i worked, who was doing some freelancing.

He asked me to do some front-end stuff for him and i said ok.

After some gigs, my boss found out about him working as a freelancer and got really pissed, because, according to him, it was forbidden by company policies (though i never saw it on contract).

After that, the boss started talking to me about shit that the guy did on the past, like stealing, liying about been sick for months, bad mouth the entire company to others companys, etc. Some really bad shit.

End of the story, the company fired that guy, threatened to do the same to me, made me go on record about that shit in court, and that fucking motherfucker didnt even payd me for my last work.

I hope he rot in hell, fucking piece of shit.

Sorry for the long text, but (today) i find it as amusing story.

We are probably reading alot of "this co-worker was so bad because blah blah blah..." from people who actualy were the real shitty co-worker and are still blaming others for his/hers mistakes.
Not a week rant that i can trust...

My Life-philosofy

Thanks from Brazil, guys!

Tinder experience so far

Girl: "hey, what do you do?"

Me: "im a programmer"

Girl:

Me: "and you?"

Girl:

Me: "... hello?"

*Suddenly unmatch*

I hate Microsoft!

But i gotta say, VS Code is a really good IDE. Guess they should've gone open source a long time ago

6 hours to make my Ionic cordova app build with native google maps plugin without a problem.

Deploy on my cell.

Not compatible with android 4.4.4.

FUCK YOU SONY! RELEASE A FUCKING UPGRADE TO THIS FUCKING PHONE ALREADY. FUCK YOU XPERIA T3

This is my coworker keyboard.

How the fuck can someone like this?

"nobody came to my party, but its ok, i had my code"

"haha i dont have friends other than computers"

"im so sad right now, at least i have my cat"

GO FUCK YOURSELF U FUCKING ATTENTION WHORE

We are building a react native receipt printing app, and we don't run test cases

"There is no cloud, it's just someone else's computer"

I don't understand this statement. Could someone please explain.

I wrote this code about 3 years ago.

I guess we all had to start somewhere ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dear gradle, no offense but I believe Rome took less time to build!

I lost a friend today😭.

He wanted to checkout my MacBook Pro, because he was thinking about buying one.

So I pulled mine out of my backpack, and turned it on.. Then windows 10 popped up!

I looked at him in shock like I just got caught watching porn. I tried to explain to him “it’s not what you think! I had to install it to use Microsoft Project!

He just looked at me in disgust, shaking his head, and walked away....

Today the lead developer and I where loling and wtfing hard to the following code:

if ($looked_column == true)
{
$trunca = 1;
}
else
{
$trunca = 1;
}

Mind you, we had no clue why he named the variable $trunca, and even then it had been set at the top of the file as 1 to begin with....was never used up to this line and $looked_column had also a set to true.

This is why a lot of people give php a bad reputation. This right here is why people make fun of php......

Conversation with my mom the other day:

Mom - How do you use the screenshot button on the keyboard? (She has a Windows work laptop)

Me - Just press it.

Mom - I did that! It didn't do anything.

Me - Lol it's not supposed to do anything. It takes a picture of whatever is on your screen and you have to paste it somewhere like Paint to save the image.

Mom - Ohhh that's too much work. I use Snippit (or whatever the built in Windows screenshot app is called) and send it to myself in an email.
-------------------------
She takes a screenshot, pastes it in an email, and sends it to herself to save it. Hm.

Then she told me tonight that she needed to screenshot these questions in a quiz she was taking. I kid you not - she took a screenshot of 2 questions at a time, pasted them in an email that she sent to herself, and then printed the email. She did this for 40 questions so she printed out 20 emails with screenshots of quiz questions. She also printed out the 200 page manual she needs to study and deleted the pdf. Mom, seriously? What if you need to find something in that 200 page manual? It's so much easier to ctrl + F to find a specific word or phrase. Ohh it doesn't matter she says, there's an index.

Got a star on GitHub once

Starter pack.