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Me: “I want the AWS instance with 2TB of RAM.”
Friend: “What on earth for!?”
Me: “I need to run the Slack client and Chrome at the same time.”9 -
During some late coding I started wondering why on earth someone beamed a headlight through my window, until I realized it was the sun...
I got a lot of stuff done though
¯\_(ツ)_/¯4 -
Apple has Air
Amazon has Fire
Google has Earth
Microsoft should really create something called Water27 -
I usually don't post such things, but the Flat Earth Society just replied to @iamdevloper on Twitter!
What a legend haha
11 -
The CEO asks God:
"God, how much time do you need to create the earth?"
God: "uh, 10 billion years I think"
CEO: " You have only 7 days. Well 6, the last one is to fix everything gone wrong after deploying"
And here we are6 -
The reason why aliens are avoiding earth:
Me : Guys, the CI/CD pipeline is ready. ci.yaml is our config file, so don't remove it as the deployments will fail.
**10 seconds later**
slack: BUILD FAILED
Me: *Looks at git commits* "Brian removed ci.yaml
Wtf BRIAN!🖕🖕🖕🖕16 -
When we finally get to Mars, all programmers on Earth will scream in pain over having to program another timezone14
-
Today I met a girl who’s super cute, down to earth, smart, uses no social media, and games. I would normally wake up soon after such dreams, but this actually happened today. I asked her out before it was too late 😊20
-
*Wants to learn a programming language*
*visits Udemy*
*It's costly af*
*Visits youtube*
*Plays learn complete java in 30 min*
*Completed*
*Visits hacker earth*
*Started solving a problem*
-- eternity later--
*Still on same problem*
*Cries in corner*
THE END18 -
Bulma framework, thanks for existing!
Lightweight, CSS only, very fucking easy to use and understand and a beautiful!
As a backend/server/security guy, front end is hell on earth for me. I understand the basics but that's it.
This fucker makes it so simple!19 -
Listening to Linkin Park while coding.
Head banging, foot tapping, just singing along in my head.
Then the boss messaged me, "should we produce some tickets?".
Apparently, I'm singing rather loudly.
Earth, swallow me up now.27 -
Dear Clients,
if you really think what I do has so little value that you won’t pay for it, why on earth would you think it was going to help your business in any way? It’s clearly not worth it. How can it have a positive impact?
- Your Unpaid Developer3 -
So I've been pulling my hair out as for WHY ON FUCKING EARTH MY CHANGES DON'T SHOW WHEN I RUN THE RSS FEED GENERATOR.
Oh right maybe I should upload the file first 😅🔫10 -
He's stop writing Java because he thinks Java is inelegant. He write PHP instead.
Am I still on earth? 🤔28 -
Who the fuck on earth named it Chef. You idiots, if I google Chef I get people wearing aprons on my browser. And what the fuck is cookbooks, cookbooks for chef returns 60 ways of making chicken. Who on earth has such naming convention for IT DevOps. Recipe, cookbooks, knife. Dafuq is wrong.10
-
This dude is definitely not from earth!! It was so good to see this!
He has over a million reputation and I'm still struggling in my hundreds and thousands 😂
10 -
What are you doing with 2KB of ram?
1969: NASA - "We just put some guys on the moon and got them back to Earth safely."
2018: Me - "I'm just struggling to run a 10 line Java program that prints the answer to an addition problem to the console."17 -
!rant
Anonymous claiming in their youtube video that NASA is about to announce the discovery of intelligent alien life.
I would be more astonished if they found intelligent life here on earth.10 -
Android Relative layout is similar to Microsoft Word.
Move the button a little bit and earth moves from it's orbit :/8 -
My work mate just sent this, it made me feel better:
"If you ever have a day when you fucked up badly, made a huge mistake and you feel like a total kluts, click this link: https://google.com/maps/... and feel happy in that you didn’t fuck up bad enough for it to show on google earth!"
😇
11 -
Oh fuck and boy Jesus, how on earth is this still a thing 😦
MD fucking 5 is not a fucking “secure” crypto algorithm.
This site has 14 million breached accounts with fucking MD5 hashes.
I think I’ve had to much internet for today.
18 -
Why on Earth are printer drivers so huge? Seriously, 1GB to print, Epson? There are entire distros of Linux that take up less than that!8
-
My gf has recently told me that she's sick of all those privacy invasive Google services and wants me to degooglify her! Am I the happiest guy on Earth?22
-
Sometimes I wish my girlfriend was able to write code so we could talk and share our code and thoughts.
Sometimes I thank God she finds it the most boring thing on Earth and we get to talk about other things and decompress.13 -
Annual performance peer review
Person who did review me wrote in the section “skills needed to improve”:
“He is introverted...”
Bloody hell!! What a big problem :) and how in earth you can “fix” it? And why everyone expected to be extraverted??11 -
Jjust got a notification from google drive that I'm out of space. Which is weird because I only have some documentation on there.
So I go looking around and find a folder of "Earth Porn". Apparently I had forgotten to stop a script I made about a year ago that saves all the /r/earthporn top posts.
Atleast I got screensavers for a life time though.12 -
My dad said to me once: "Son, when you're older... you can become anything you want. The sky is the limit!"
So my response: "Really dad? Wow!! I want to become an astronaut!!"
My dad: "God damnit son... why don't you ever listen?! I said the SKY is the limit!!"
So now I am a very down to earth programmer.4 -
When you get a client from real MOTHERFUCKING hell.
You just really FUCKING want to say this:
Scorched earth MOTHERFUCKER. I will massacre you. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO MY JOB.
First, take a big step back and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE.
I will rain down an ungodly FUCKING firestorm upon you.
You're gonna have to call the FUCKING United Nations and get a FUCKING BINDING RESOLUTION to keep me from FUCKING destroying you.
I am talking SCORCHED EARTH MOTHERFUCKER.
I will MASSACRE you.
I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
But for your own sake you keep it at this:
Yes sir/ma'am :).7 -
!dev
If you ever feel like having a good laugh, just watch a flat-earthers video/live-stream.
I can't understand how something like this can even happen, it's so insanely ridiculous.
HOW THE FUCK CAN A HUMAN BEING LIVING IN 2018 BELIEVE THAT THE EARTH IS A FLAT DISC WITH A GLOBE ABOVE IT.14 -
*** IN THE FUTURE ***
@elon musk colonize mars and starts sending people to mars and keep EARTH for EU CITIZENS because mars isnt GDPR compliant4 -
Why on Earth would an API require me to provide input like this?
{"this": "{\"is\": \"not\"}", "how": "{\"json\": \"works\"}"}
😡7 -
!rant
I joined last night, this place its just insane, I don't even know how I managed to go through life without it... This is it, I found my place on earth; devRant...
WHOOO!!!7 -
The award of fastest internet on earth goes to me :D
*note:
its just Ubuntu was not able to update date/time settings during setup cuz I had wifi turned off, turned it back on and ran apt-get update, must have started before the system was able to update its date/time settings, so ya I did not photshop :)
11 -
A: man Stack Overflow is a paradise on earth, anything I need is on there, it never lets me down.
"Stack Overflow is currently offline for maintenance"
A: ......PANIC
3 -
Trying to reverse engineer an API.
Who on fucking earth thought it would be a good idea to let the response be JSON but.... THE VALUE OF THE MAIN INFORMATION THING/KEY PLAIN (UGLY AS HELL) HTML WITH EVEN GOOGLE TAGS BULLSHIT...
WHY?! THIS HURTS.
EHVIENZJVYENWBFFJSJZ 💀14 -
Flat Earthers -
The Earth is FLAT.
Most People -
The Earth is a SPHERE.
People who overthink -
The Earth is a COMPOUND SHAPE.
My Friend :
The Earth was Flat, before it was proven that the Earth was a sphere.9 -
It's pretty good deal, if you ask me !!
Gotta buy one, so that I can be online even after I'm dead, earth gets destroyed, sun gets turned into Black hole and collision of milky way and Andromeda Galaxies.
14 -
Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*
I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...7 -
I, my dev friend and a non dev friend were having a deep Philosophical chat
NDF - while we are here on earth, we should give something back to the mankind
DF - Yeah man! (sarcastically pointing at me) But this guy never gives anything to anybody
Me - Oh I have contributed a lot to the mankind. You should check my github profile.
Needless to say two of us burst out laughing while one was giving blank stare.1 -
Once again, the earth has accomplished the 30th full round since I was born.
++age;
officiallyOld = true;13 -
!rant
Wooohooo! Company is sending me to Google Earth Engine Summit 2017 on my first international travel !!!!
Hope to meet some of you there 😱
Anyone gonna be there?7 -
"Git is hugely over complicated and dangerous - what on earth is wrong with Subversion?"
"Ah. Allow me to sit you down - this could take a while..."15 -
Voyager 1 passes 17 billion miles today. The farthest man made object from the earth today and it's transmitters are still working after 43 years.
I can't even get the stuff I built last week to work right.11 -
"BlueStacks 4, 6 times faster than every phone on Earth!!!"
*wank wank*
Meanwhile, it can't even do window compositing (y u no use the fucking compositor of the fucking OS?!) or keyboard input (sends Return twice apparently). But yeah, faster than every phone on Earth. MY FUCKING ASS IS FASTER, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!
So much for a Sunday where my servers can go straight to hell for a day, and I'll just play some fucking games.. so much for that.
FUCK!!!6 -
Ever notice the similarity between Flat Earthers and people who believe HTML is a programming language?
You can present them with all the reason and logic in the world and they won’t change their minds.13 -
I have NEVER had a trust issues with a hard-working developer. It is always good to have someone you know would move heaven and earth to solve a problem, if demanded. It was a privilege to have worked with a handful of them.
PS: If your team doesn't have one such, either be one or change the team/company!6 -
So I can't VPN into my production servers because our fucking government decided to block them
How on earth can I work you ignorant basterds12 -
There's only a fine line between a critical issue and a dramatic client.
And by fine, I mean (the size of yo momma + the distance between earth and mars) / the teeny weeny fraction of the fucks that I give.3 -
Why I hate my job: 18 out of 21 developers are Chinese daily smokers barely speak English.
Why I love my job: We build software/hardware to predict future earthquakes and save lives and hundred million or even billions dollars in damages. And of course make China super rich by selling it.10 -
Android studio runs sooooo much better on Linux as compared to windows!!!
I just can't believe it!
My build times have been reduced by like 70% on the same laptop!
Why on earth was I even using windows all along!!7 -
I'm far from being a Linux fanboy, but Linus Torvalds is such a great guy to listen to while coding. I like how down to earth and straightforward he is. The tech world needs more people like him.5
-
I want to fight climate change because i want my snow back.
This is what matters.
Economical reasons? Nah
Being nice to earth? Nah
Doomsday reasons? Nah
I want to see snow in my city again? Yes!16 -
NO! I DO NOT WANT YOUR SLUTTY USB IN MY LAPTOP'S HOLE, It's probably infected by all those computers of people installing every single program on earth.11
-
Sooooo.. Aws's route53 and ELB outage nuked all our environments. 503 here, 503 there, 5xx everywhere.
Just sitting and picking nose for we've got nothing else to do now.. Who on the fucking earth thought it might be a great idea to centralize the whole fucking internet into 3 companies' hands!?!
How's your day?7 -
I recently started naming my devices in a certain scheme:
Laptop - Sagittarius (central black hole in the milky way)
Server - Sirius (brightest star visible from Earth)
Pi - Centauri (closed star system to us)
Any iot devices would be named like unnamed planets (i.e. Centauri A, Centauri B, ...)
Do some of you have cool/interesting naming schemes for your devices?17 -
I have a co-worker that thinks that whole world is a big conspiracy theory and the earth is flat. And this weirdo is a dev... FML2
-
Will AI take over the world ?
Will that be cause of a bug or just machine learning ?
And finally, who is the winner and the owner of the earth?
4 -
So couple of days ago I've told you that I've made an Duck Hunt Easter Egg in one of my utilities. And @jiraTicket asked me:
"How on earth do you get a decent gameplay out of Duck Hunt without a Nintendo lightning gun?"
Well the answer is..:
Connecting Leap Motion and making them suffer..
P.s. It took me a loooong time to hit that duck with this controller=))))
-
I just wanted to watch that video! who on EARTH still uses adobe flash player! seriously can anyone tell me?
8 -
I have survived a lot of things but javascript is hell on earth. I guess I died and went to hell.15
-
this === 'rant'
> True
A million dollars for the head that creates a lethal virus that forcefully uninstalls IE and installs Firefox/Chrome and unleashes it upon planet Earth. Sorry if this sounds too harsh but guess what? FUCK IE.13 -
If this masterpiece came from my coworker I would smash his computer, burn his house, wipe his gene from poor mother earth. Luckily it came from my new programming student, so I find it adorable and make a post here.
4 -
Well... I don't have recess in my work, but one of my clients went to the beach with his family. So that's the perfect excuse to travel with my wife and disconnect of everything.
Got to love that feeling!
1 -
So by trying to make my avatar look like me as much as I can, I've came to realisation that I'm the most generic looking guy mother earth ever compiled. If that even makes any sense...
-
Sent my coworker a LMGTFY link sarcastically, and he legitimately thought it was a great tool for showing people how you search for stuff on the internet.
This same client had never in his 50+ years on this Earth, used a debit or credit card to pay for a meal at a restaurant. Needless to say, we made him use his company card for every meal on the rest of the trip.
He also wears a black trench coat... Everyday. -
Blue pill: master LITERALLY every computer language on earth and be able to use them to their full potential to create LITERALLY any idea that comes to you.
Red pill: master LITERALLY every linguistic language that exists and be able to speak fluently with every human on earth
...........................
I picked the blue pill and people thought I'm weird.
14 -
I feel quite stupid asking this but what on earth is eng in English? In dutch it means scary but I don't think that that applies here 😄
(Translation services gave me the exact same word)12 -
(Joke || Rant)
This guy came with this joke.
Ok, funny.
Then months later you realise he pushed this tweaked prototype to master, and now this code is shipped in production and it actually prints some idiotic sentence about flat earth on console output.
Ok, idiot.
It's not my project, but sometimes I'm wondering what people have in their minds when using version control and ship crap...
-
Did you know chrome on Android has a dark theme????
**gasps**
Why didn't anybody tell me that? I missed out for so long!... Actually how long has this even been out?
Either way, good discovery!22 -
I feel the whole universe is a programmed game and someone is playing us. Like when we're playing GTA.
Few of us are the main characters and the rest of us are just random objects to populate the earth, we don't have any rule in the story. :(
Birth is the Constructor()
Death is the Finalizer()4 -
sends me a "screencap.avi" on slack. I download and open it, and it's a video of an IE bug where the width of the scroll bar itself takes up just enough that the content gets enough height to trigger a scroll bar to appear, so the whole page keeps twitching because the scroll bar keeps appearing and disappearing every second. LMAO FML FUCK IE7
-
What a developer on earth using AngularJS for form manipulation but using jQuery $.ajax to submit a form?2
-
Why the FUCK is he behaving to be the next Steve Jobs. And how on earth he can believe that being aggressive , shouting, fucking everyone every time and shitting around is insanely not even close to Being Steve Jobs. I want to fuck this bastard to death. Fuck you asshole.11
-
Bill Gates: I will always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job. Because he will find a easy way to do it.
Me: Hello, is this Microsoft. I'm the laziest person you can find on planet earth. Hire me.
2 -
Opened GitHub as usual today, somehow found my old repositories (created when I was a fresher). Opened them and felt why I'm still on this earth, pulled them, restructured all of them, pushed them back and now I can sleep!! 😴
-
"Your documentation doesn't specify what should be returned if there is no item matching the id, so currently I'm just gonna have it throw a 504"
Why on earth would you? What's wrong with you, you sick bastard?7 -
Why on Earth did PHP have a function to create functions?? It's deprecated now, but still, why??? 🤔8
-
I see a lot of arguments out there over 2 space, 4 space and tab indents but I think the really problem are the people that double tab. Yes they exist and yes they are the real scum of the earth
-
Earth to Moon - 238,900 mi
Moon to Earth - 238,900 mi
New york to London - 3,459 mi
London to New york - 3,459 mi
Monday to Friday - 5
Friday to Monday - WTF!!!2 -
It continually never ceases to amaze me how many people ask me a question without doing the proper research beforehand. For instance, "How far is the Earth from Jupiter?" How am I supposed to know that? The only thing I'm going to do is Google it and then tell you anyway. Stop asking me stupid questions that you can easily search yourself!9
-
Earth keeps rotating
Seasons repeats
Life goes and come back
Machines in factories doing repetitive job
You sleep, you wakeup, you eat daily
... and y'all think loops are bad?2 -
!rant
Found out about JetBrains student program and asp.net unix support and now I am the happiest person on earth!😊🙂😋 -
Don't give me Mobile First! Fuck That!
I dev on desktop, most users are on desktop, my client thinks desktop is most important, so why the hell should I put mobile first??
And doublefuck "Offline First".
Get back to earth Google!4 -
Client: Hey new iOS 11 is coming soon, is out app compatible?
Me: Not sure, let me shift the development to new Xcode 9 and test it out.
Client: So, how was it?
Me: pretty straight forward. all seems fine a couple of bugs.
But then when trying to fold a big function to make things easier to read, you discover that Xcode 9 beta 1,2,3 & 4 DOESN'T FUCKING SUPPORT THAT YET. How on earth is this not yet implemented?5 -
why on Earth do I find PHP error notices in the _JS_ console when debugging this old project... and those notices are even stopping the code from working. seriously, PHP, why??6
-
VBA as it's still considered a programming language, but it really should be banned from the face of the Earth3
-
My fucking stupid idiot neighbor is replaying the same song since morning at max volume. It's killing me! Where can i buy a machete and wipe out this moron's genes from the earth?10
-
It's 2017 and every keyboard on Earth still has vertically unaligned keys !
And if you think it's for ergonomic reason, you're wrong ! It's just something we inherited from goddamn typewriters.
It's time to let that go !
Far far away in the past.
Right next to floppy disks, MySpace and Nicolas Cage !6 -
I have the best of the very best client on Earth.
A kind who would flat out reject with most depression reviews to our best and hardly committed work whenever an payment installment date is near. -
did not expect the stickers would actually arrive! you sent it all the way half of the earth. the stickers earn a deservedly special space on my laptop and phone. Kudos to you devRant!
2 -
If the whole office has to listen to "gon put on mah iron shirt and chase the devil out dis earth" on max volume in between pandora commercial one more day, I'm going to hack the sound system and play Norwegian death metal. Jah!4
-
Guys!! I Need help asap
My pc has become sentient and is starting to imitate me.
I'm afraid I've created sky net. I don't want to be the destroyer of earth... :'(
...
...
He's watching cat videos...1 -
Why on earth do sign up forms give you the option to opt OUT of email newsletters if they're going to send the bloody emails anyway?2
-
Me: Could you please provide us with api key so we can add this feature?
Client's IT person: You don't need the api key to develop, their site has documentation so it's not a blocker. I will get you the api key when we are ready to go live.
Me: ... -
I am well done, burnt and carcinogenic. The constant pressure to always produce, always post a profit, always increase, always commit, always stand-up and succeed is fucking exhausting and ultimately and totally unsustainable.
There are never any fallow years anymore, or days of rest...our dirt is dying...and the earth is weary and worn out. Antartica is getting green...grrrr, and my head is melting too.
Why the fuck can't we slow down a little bit?
#hatehashtags C#needtheocean
// allow1 -
Religion is ruined by people.
God's bugs are our mistakes, the platypi, and turtle penises.
Nature is so much better without us, I enjoy programming but the users are polluting, wasteful, selfish useless beings removing resources from the Earth.
Sometimes I want to become a hacker and ruin rich people's lives.11 -
There should be a developer licence so we could stop these stupid wannabes from getting into and ruining the industry with their shit work. We're so fed up maintaining these stupid codes the company previously outsourced somewhere on earth.9
-
My freind knows I do programing as a hobby - I do want a job but I am only 15 - so whenever he can he will leave a bracket open in a text message because he knows that I will respond instantly closing it. I can't stand looking at the eyesore!5
-
So... ranters! Where are you from? Let's try to Make a chart with geographic distribution... what do you think?108
-
God I hate JavaScript.
Why on earth would some variable * somthing.other (where somthing is undefined) result in 653957364??????17 -
What if people, life, humanity, the universe is just a cluster of CPUs running a giant Recurrent Neural Network algorithm? 🤔
-Sun and food == power source
-People == semiconductors
-Earth/a Galaxy == a single CPU
-Universe == a local grouping of nearby nodes, so far the ones we've discovered are dead or not what same data transport protocol/port as us
-Universal Expansion == the search algorithm
-Blackholes: sector failures
-Big Bang == God turns on his PC, starts the program
-Big Crunch == rm -rf4 -
When you go to an architecture meeting and people's statements are so abstract that they could apply to any product on the face of the earth.1
-
😮
*doing my work silently*
*SUDDENLY THERE'S A FOSS, PPL RUN OUT THEIR HOUSES*
*still on the laptop*
-"what? Earth quake?"
*back on the work*
PS: anyways, anyone from around Tehran sensed any quakes?6 -
look at that... was trying to use shortcuts and ended up with rotated screen. laughed my ass of, why on earth windows.? :D :D :D actually couldn't undo it the same way and had to use gui :D :D
6 -
So Earth just completed another revolution around the Sun and people going craaaazy all over the internet. Like calm down bruh :v3
-
There's only one place I want to spend my summer holidays:
The black hole.
I don't know about you. But earth is already boring!4 -
Objective-C is an awful programming language that nobody should ever use for anything.
Also you dont know how important unit tests are until you have to deliver an enterprise level application without them.
Biggest one Ive learned recently, managers will promise you the earth to keep you around as long as possible, and they will go back on every promise and call it a "change in priority" -
So how on earth is Strict MVC good for web dev. A variation of MVC works well but strict principles no!!!5
-
!rant
Today I realized, I can play the best game on earth on my smartphone using dosbox. So I guess this will be my last post on devRant...
6 -
This started off as a rant but it soon grew way too large to fit in 5000 characters, so I had to take to my Medium blog instead.
Here, y'all, have a lesson in web design from hell.
https://medium.com/@linuswillner/...2 -
What on earth are some developers thinking. Was just browsing the Casio website, using Chrome and noticed the following message. How hard is it to display a message when actually needed, instead of all the time. Good watches, poor development :/
2 -
I hate being able to hear my boss in meeting with potential clients. Promising the earth then when the meeting is done tell me we have a week to make it. Not only that but then ask me what half the stuff he's sold actually is and does!?2
-
That awkward moment when you tell your family that you're participating in a hackintosh.
Their response: Why would you do any such thing? Hacking other people is not a good thing son.
Me: It's time to leave earth2 -
So here we go again.
Same "web designer", same me, same website (based on wordpress, completely redone front-end UI, full of ACF to keep their fucking data).
WD: ok, I'll need you to add an information on the project page template in order to show a gallery with slider at the bottom and "film+visuals" at the top if there is a gallery.
Me: ok
1 week later, after like 40 e-mails between us deciding if it was ok or not on DEV server and pushing it to PROD
Me: ok, done
WD: hey, if it's just a film there should be written "FILM" while there's nothing showing, also the gallery must have same height as the film above
Me, internally: why the fuck didn't you fucking tell me before pushing to PROD? are you fucking dumb or something?
Me, via email: ok, i'll check it now...2 -
This made my day: (Translation: In reality the earth is a star with 12 spikes and generated by this css script.
4 -
Regarding the never ending tabs vs spaces debate; who on earth over at GitHub thought 8 spaces was a good default value for tabs in code?4
-
What if an enormous asteroid hits the entirety of earth and all our codebase, hardwork, passion, and js frameworks get wiped out?6
-
Wondering how on earth the article 50 petition went down today. Someone must have been playing with loadtest!
-
Who the hell use any instead of a Boolean? Why on earth did I spend 10 months of my life learning a new language (Typescript) for a framework whose writer doesn't even respect their own good practices.
10 -
Gna gna gna Chrome you stupid sucker!
I have some objects that I animate using JS triggered CSS translate with a transition duration. Why on earth would Chrome think it's a good idea to apply that duration also after the animation when I zoom the whole page?!
OK, slap a transition end handler on the object and reset the transition duration when the animation is done. But FF doesn't have that problem in the first place, and even IE works as intended!5 -
Why on earth I am doing docs and sending them to the whole team, if they keep asking me how to do X and why is Y not working
YOU WILL KNOW IF YOU READ THE DOCS
GAAAAAAA2 -
Wrote some unit tests to check for 404 errors that called a fake endpoint key...
Months later create that same endpoint key for unrelated reasons and spend a half hour trying to figure out WHY ON EARTH the 404 tests are all failing...
🤦♂️1 -
Access is just the most bull**** thing on earth. I spent 3 hours trying to find the mistake in my sql. FYI this sucker uses some special syntax for multiple joins -_-3
-
This climate crisis is slowly getting into my head guys😠. The shit bolsanaro and all other govs are doing is effecting my mojo.
I am working here and trying to do my best to deliver quality code while i must fight the feeling that ppl are betraying me (the govs). Its not my job to remind them of not fucking us over. I try to help by not becoming a criminal and getting forward with my life. Wtf is wrong with those in charge of govs?! On any project if you ignore the signs, u'll end up in refactoring hell or the project just dies. Getting out takes serious commitment.
Is everyone just gone crazy?
Here we all will get fucked, if we fail with project earth. 🤬😖👿16 -
brute force has indeed solved more problems on earth than AI ever will....
That's because the number is still counting just look at copy paste code from stackoverflow 😂😂😑
10 -
Went to PC Gamer's website. Got blocked by an anti-adblocker. Opened the DevTools to remove the fuck out of it. Found class names that may have been made by the drunkest vodka-fed polish dude the Earth ever carried.
8 -
Hmm.. I've noticed a trend in teams at companies: they always seem to have similar personalities, rather than similar skills.
For example, if the team leader is a pathetic, pretentious, sarcastic, frigid, lifeless loser who pretends he's happy, then he usually has a herd of equally pathetic and frigid losers following him. I notice that every time I apply to a company that has such a group, they instantly disqualify me as a member. Interesting, interesting..
The same goes for a company that has down-to-earth people like myself, then the team is usually a down-to-earth manager and down-to-earth, warm-hearted colleagues.
It all makes sense now.3 -
World wide health care system, the data will help every human on earth, that will enable us to understand the mystique patterns of human body.
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https://metamag.org/2018/09/...
Does anybody know anything about this? I read it for the first time and I couldn't find any confirmation anywhere.
What the fuck is wrong with us? I don't know about Germany and UK but...
Why Italy should block such a proposal? We have no fucking tech insustry in our country, neither phones or pc or households appliances, so why the hell should we block that.
Where the fuck is the profit in this decision?5 -
Why does this happen....
I go , hey I just finished this project (app for example since they the worst culprit)
Why ... Are the next words out of the other persons mouth is, oh I had an idea for an app ....
Why do they then proceed to tell you an app that exists , or an app that's ridiculous like
You know calenders ... Yeah I do... What about a calendar that syncs to your friends one when you want to do an event .... You mean Facebook events... Yeah but for calenders 🤔😥😒
Why does the general population think one.... It's easy to build and costs nothing and two that without research they have the best idea on earth. -
What is a life form?
How exactly a life started on earth? Was it brought from outer space?
Are there any life forms there out of earth?
Can a life form be based not on protein but on some other chemicals?
How exactly the very first life form of the universe was created?
Can digital things be life forms?
Can ideas and concepts be life forms? Can they exists without a medium? If so, where exactly are they stored?
Can we create living things?
Those questions are keeping me up at night18 -
How often have you seen a manager working as an individual contributor when things are urgent and the assigned engineer is sick!!!
Such type of managers are the rarest species that can be found on Earth.
I hope everyone gets such managers and then, all Devs gonna have a great time working in tons of interesting and feasible projects. -
Juno finally reached Jupiter, it takes 49mins for a signal to be sent to or received from Earth. IE users would know how that feels like😛
2 -
When you hate every fucking thing on earth and want to kill everyone on this fucked up planet.
That bug didnt fix. Fuck you.
The client needs answer now. Fuck you.
Stackoverflow user marked it as duplicate. Fuck you in particular.
Fuuuuuuuccckkkkkkkkkk every fucking asshole. -
Red Dead Redemption 2 Day - Awesome
No managers in today - fucking win
Work from home day - Can we get anymore wins?
Remote into computer that works for everyone - TODAY IT DONT FUCKING WORK -_-
Guess its a normal ass work day today and it's raining, fuck you Earth. No one is allowed to play RDR2 until I get home2 -
Spent nearly entire weekend nights Bing watching Silicon Valley- great show and great waste of my time on earth.
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It was one cold winter night, lonely and sad, until my mom's coworker brought to our house an old computer from their company.
It was like heaven come down to earth, when he assembly all parts together.
I was filled with joy and excitement, until I saw Windows start screen.
Worst day of my life. Linux for life! -
In 2020, the Earth slightly accelerated its spin.
For the first time in history, we need to add a *negative* leap second in our datetime systems.
...
Which means all the datetime libs need an update. I hope they anticipated this.20 -
Create something "revolutionary", become recognized worldwide and respected for what I've done. Maybe becoming BDFL of my own language or give my name to an algorithm, something like that. Not necessarily rich or famous, I just want to leave a mark on the face of the earth. Do you know Federico Faggin? Well someone like him.
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Google Apps Script is probably the worst scum of the earth I’ve come across in a while.
Shit documentation and JavaScript 1.6, really?
No wonder nobody uses this crap and has proper implementation of a vast variety of applications.4 -
Why on Earth would you build API in VBA ? It's such an unusable language, everything is stupid (cuz it's for beginners, right? just fuckoffplz)
Why are we building modern technologies on top of ancient stuff ? Scalable ? Manageable ? Readable ? Anything ?5 -
Well, I just had something negative to say about the whole flat earth theory followed by me expressly saying I'm not looking for an argument
Interpretation: I just stirred the hornet's nest... Let's see what happens now8 -
I'm absolutely fuming why on earth would someone try to apply exactly all rules of a theoretical concept. I hate those so called "scrum masters". We can't apply all rules of agile we're not machines. There's real life and theory.1
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Stayed up all night to make interactive data visualizations from CFTC data and now I want to show it out.
BUT
No one is interested. Why Earth why?
Whatever, where is keyboard, and turn off the lights.
- Dark music plays. -
Why on Earth would a Performance Testing application such as JMeter have such a low Java heap space by default.. i mean wouldnt it make sence to set this as high as possible for a Performance Testing tool ? 😞3
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"What do you mean that I'm late? Time is relative. It just today the earth spin a little bit faster."5
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The Amazon MWS API is so utterly shite! Offers error messages sometimes then others tells you to upload your file to their file checker. Their file checker doesn’t accept XML so why say that?
Who on earth develops and documents their shit APIs?
Fuck you Amazon -
I've spent the last 3 days trying to figure out what on earth was going through the head of a (now departed) contractor when he wrote the code I'm trying to fix. Took a reasonably simple part of the system and convoluted it to the point where it makes no sense! And we've realised it's not complete either!! Fun times... they are not. 😕4
-
The man just asked how to make folders with the command line, what on earth is this 100-line nightmare json?
https://superuser.com/a/14187013 -
Honestly, why do so many resources offer quizes to learn programming? How on earth are you supposed to learn programming by doing fucking quizes?!
-
I can't believe it.
I was going over acceptance tests with a colleague, comparing approaches.
Had a question about how he was calling a step definition.
"Can I see your cucumber"
Lord, fucking smite me from this earth.2 -
Dan Abramov
He more or less invented React? Or at least he's made a lot of improvements to its state management functionality. He offers to have lunch with random people on Twitter. He probably knows a lot and reads a lot. He seems like a cool down-to-earth dude.4 -
If you ever stop to think:
"Why does the world experience turmoil from time to time?"
You have to stop and realize that the Earth itself is bipolar.2 -
Does it ever happen to you that, you are solving some competitive programming question, and you are thinking way deep and it's all in your mind. For some reason you put some codition or do something and solution gets accepted! You are on cloud 9 but at the same time you can't put you thinking on paper or you can't explain why you did what you did. Jeez it happens to me a lot! And I can't come up with a test case to explain it but it's there in my mind.
-
You know what annoys me...compnies dropping of the face of the earth. Like I take to the recruiter over the email. We set up a phone screen with HR and then with the Dev team, we talk about on site interview, WE DISCUSS THE TIME AND THEN NOTHING. Weeks go by and no emails or replies. Like what am I doing wrong here. This happened for the third time!2
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I've just tried those streams of Java 8. And I can't understand, how on Earth I didn't try them before. They're magnificent.
Hovewer I have some doubts about using them in production. I think no one else will be able to understand what code with streams do.2 -
Did an assignment where we had to emulate deadlock using C and openMPI, I wanted to make a generalised resource manager process and create deadlock by locking some resources using the other processes, but my teammate said that would be too hard and instead the resource manager was hardcode with for loops for the number of transactions we were gonna make cause it was just a proof of concept.
Then my marker literally leads with, let me tell you the story of a good programmer, and a better programmer. The good programmer writes a function called destroy_earth(), but the better programmer writes a function called destroy_planet(earth) and passes in earth. I sighed so fuckin hard, I should have spoken up. -
Jason Bourne logic: type "run predictive algorithm" without any parameters into a terminal and it returns the locations of whatever you want. Either that function is the _best_ at predicting user input, or its variables are so hardcoded that we've just discovered the hardest material on earth2
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Our team has to add some features to an existing application/platform. Its a mobile application with a server handling all the logic and a database for records storage. Fairly big project, a few 1000 lines. Ohh and did I mention that there is absolutely NO DOCUMENTATION???! Why on earth would you even be like ohhh let's do this project but write absolutely no documentation for it! Why???1
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why on earth somebody thought that MySQL on MacOS must be restarted automatically every time you kill it like a fucking zombie?
An why the fuck every time I restart the Mac, I must kill the fucking zombie with a kill -9 in the head 2 or 3 times before being able to access it again?3 -
AI, or just random chance, I dunno..
Dating site profile:
User is:
> 15,891 kilometres away
User profile first line is:
> A sense of humour is a must.
Related link:
https://quora.com/What-is-the-longe...3 -
For fuck's sake Microsoft, why on Earth do you announce a half-done feature? Was this an idea from marketing? Upper management? I am fairly certain that nobody who actually writes code for a living would have ever approved releasing a rushed feature to a TYPE SYSTEM.
7 -
i want to make a website like https://neal.fun
what should i put on it?
so far i want optical illusions, css tricks & parallax scrolling, maybe a constellation drawer, tensorflow image stylizer, a surgical simulation, scroll the length of mount everest, something showing the inside of the earth, and maybe a game
any suggestions/additions?15 -
Super solar power plants around the earth to powering robots and factories producing equipment to search and research more efficient energy sources across the universe and mapping the whole ma'fucka resource wide would be a nice project to spend some days at.
-
New game on steam, Middle-earth.
Showing absolutely no in game footage and asks you to pre-order for some bullwhip award.
Don't pre-order, please kill this type of behavior.
What is it even, rpg, rts?2 -
https://allo.google.com/web
classic google style, after google earth, also this works only with chrome...but but the problem is still MS and IE right? "dontbeevil"1 -
if you're a dev, WHY on earth would you send me a blind LinkedIn invite with no message? who the !@#$ are you??
1 -
There's no bug free program on earth, they say. Well show me a bug in my program
<?php echo"hello world!";?>
😂 😂7 -
Why on Earth is React.Component.state public? This doesn't make any sense. It has no significance, but it just feels so, so stupid.2
-
How on earth are you supposed to deliver a precise estimate of assignments, when your client wants the assignments estimated in parts, but youre not able to split it into parts because its a chain of assignments, that cant be split, like if one Thing succeeds then its possible to move on to next part? So many unknowns because you have to set time aside for unknown code behavior.. Sigh..1
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I started questioning the intelligence of humans and my existance on earth and after all that questioning I would actually say coding made me somewhat calmer and more curious.
-
What does world in Hello World refer to? If it refers to the earth then we got a big problem coming up when people start going to Mars. Programming books have to be changed etc.7
-
I want to finish my game which is a mixture of Scorched Earth and a JRPG with mecha and spells you have to program with a drag and drop interface.
-
Larry Wall
I really like the fact that he approached perl with similar ideas like in the early days of programming.
He also seems like a down to earth guy.
It is kind of sad that perl isn't used as much nowadays. -
Why on earth wouldn't they give up on TFS. GET LATEST VERSION doesn't get latest version nor does it tell you that there are conflicts.
-
A visit to the planet earth.
Alien I: Hey look, look at these things. They work like sloths and sleep like koalas. Wonder how they have survived this long.
Alien II: It's a pity. I told High Commander this is totally a waste of time and resources.
Human: Well, we do have programmers too.
Alien I: WTF!
Alien II: Now, that planet is worth colonizing. Let's get to work then 👽1 -
More stars in the universe or LEDs on earth? Screen pixels do not count.
Edit: what if we added pixels?5 -
If someday god lands on earth, How are we even gonna explain him binary? Won't he need extra tuitions for learning all these concepts?
Or maybe he's just gonna yell fuck this shit, I'm going back home!3 -
Why tf are you telling me that I get to choose the format of the text that I'll need to parse later if you keep using any other freakin possible format on earth except for the one I chose 😠
-
WordPress and it's fucking buggy themes and dashboard, fml ,only God knows why on earth I decided to use this pile of shite wordpress.if I could I would have migrated to another CMs I would have done so long time ago.Wordpress,you are wasting my life away having to manage a website with your buggy shit.6
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A question about image processing and machine learning.
I post random images of the Earth to Twitter. I would like the bot to detect if the image is bad one. How can I do this? Here is an example of bad image.
10 -
I don't know if anyone else has had this issue, but how on earth do you clear the notifications for this app? Driving me nuts right now!
-
Assuming that most of devRant members are from the US. Or they are visiting web sites hosted in that place of the Earth5
-
Who on earth decided, that float64 is a suitable default datatype for one-hot vectors in numpy?
That's what I deserve for relying on reasonable implicit behaviour1 -
At times I actually feel like making a group to conquer earth. I think it would probably be better ran than it is now anyway.5
-
It always blows my mind how a silly idea / hunch tries settling down in your head very close to your regular bedtime and before you realise you can hear the birds chirping and sunshine hitting your window pane.
It’s unhealthy and should not be encouraged whatsoever.
But I guess this is the sort of involvement and craziness that separates us from rest of the professional world.2 -
the localhost guys must be pretty pumped going live. Like going to the galaxies from the earth. All the space adventure fighting the viruses, getting beaten by them. woooohoooo!
nostalgic. almost. -
When is the next space shuttle leaving for mars or moon? Have got to relocate out of this world. Pls who got SpaceX booking phone number. Or elon musk addy?.😔😔 you ask why? I need a geek gf and i can't find one on planet earth..😳😳😳1
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Probably only one on earth but when I see or write "asbestos" I'm used to think of it like AsbestOS. :I
-
Anyone noticed that SitePoint is permanently "on sale", with discounts and stuff since they launched their premium programme 1 or 2 years prior?
When one sale ends, another one comes.
Plus now they hid away the subcategories, one must access them by knowing the subcategorie's URL haha
I have no understanding of this reasoning they have...1 -
Why on earth can one perform calculations on pointers in c++? I can think of a dozen ways this could go wrong, but none where this is useful.
Following example:
int t = 1234;
int tt = 5555;
int* p = &t;
int* pp = *(p + 1):
Here pp will give me 5555...5 -
Fuck this fucking shit! How on Earth should I read and modify this fuckin only 1MB excel with this shitty phpexcel why I can not improve the speed with these formulas?!2
-
Why on earth does the Bit Bucket user search when assigning an issue bring up every bloddy user until you typed their name fully.
Surely, team mates should show first.
Maybe JiRA is better?2 -
Sometime I feel, god forget to write proper toggle command for me.
For others it is random, for me it is static. One sad life. Only hope is system run out of memory because it is recursion with no ending.
here is the dev-rant
After fucking with Laravel Passport for 3 days, I finally manage to find a way to do multi auth.
Yeah! dude I am the guy who is going to write a tutorial for that. So, you must -- this rant.1 -
I hate it when implementation takes less time than business analysis. If you cannot refine requirements after years of discussions, make Earth a favour and shoot yourselves. Do not force me to implement something that you will probably never use.
-
After about two days of trying to crack LaTeX, I'm starting to think it was made for masochists, not programmers...why on earth would any sane mind come up with such a gooseshit???2
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