Algorithm definition is mostly true

LOL. Much better than a random Lorem Ipsum.

*Insert Timmy's Dad "If I had one" meme

Welcome to the Club iPhone 9.

Message by,
Windows 9.

Getting the first job, after that you numb the pain with the money. 😔🤑😣🤑

Random, and probably useless, but do most people pronounce Sudo as you would "pseudo" or "sue-dew"?

Managers faking agile be like:

I'll be always there like a bug in your code.. happy friendship day...

I don't know who you are but I will find you and I will install linux in your pc

Fuck off bitch
My bios is password protected

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

No comments😐😐

I just had the most bizarre experience of my life. I handed in my resignation letter today. About an hour later, the CEO comes and collects me, takes me into his office, and rants about me leaving and other random not even tangentially related bullshit. Accusing me of not believing in the company and not talking to him. I have no idea if I'm fired.

OK ...

Have you ever just needed someone to tell you that your not a worthless developer. I truly love developing but I just don't know how much more time I can spend looking for work doing it. Everyone is telling me that there is so much work out there. They just all fail to recognize that there is only work out there for experienced developers or graduates. I have been in the IT industry for 12 years now with 2 of which focusing on development. Needless to say I'm self-taught and I do everything I can to further myself every day. It just never seems to be enough to get me that in. I have been looking for just over a year now with very little luck. There was a 3 month period that I did manage to lad something but got laid off right after the product went live. I think they lied to be about it being a peppermint position because they had trouble finding a contractor for it. I just need something really anything at this point.

I did the thing and stuck it out at my shitty job. Tomorrow, I get to quit the most abusive place I have ever worked. I got a new job at a shop that's a 15 minute drive away vs an hour commute. No more SCRUM with a gun to my head. No more getting yelled at for learning on my own and not working fast enough. No more making Grindr, but for CEOs. I have never been so happy. Thank you for the encouragement to find something else. Thank you for giving me hope. Thank you for being there, and being my sanity, my safe place.

Code I wrote: 15kb
NPM Modules: 198Mb

Everyone complaining about coworkers not using night mode and here I am developing in Modx... don't even have that choice 🙃

I read your CV and i called you for this interview but now i see that you are not qualified for this position.
You have to be certified by CISCO as a Software Developer.

That was the moment I knew he is a fucktard.

I don't understand this. How is that Facebook is one of the biggest company in the world and have the worst fucking mobile apps ever created. I just use messenger to talk with my mom and it's utter rubbish.

When a call arrives, there's no way to silence that call apart from setting the phone to mute. All the other apps shut up when you either click power button or volume button. But this fucking messenger piece of Satan's anus won't respond to any fucking button when I have a call.

Not only that, once you have received the call, there's no way you can rotate the app without ending the call, turning on auto rotate and call again. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? how the fuck is it that you're so fucking big but you don't have this simple features in your fucking app?

And yeah, most of the time, when I receive a call in mobile, it doesn't appear on the desktop website. If it does and I receive the call from there, the mobile app still keeps shouting. AND GUESS WHAT, at that point, if I reject the call from the mobile, it will end the call that I accepted from the desktop. HAHA, WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE.

Facebook, please stop being a piece of shite. Put your goddamn money to good use. If you can't make a good app, maybe outsource it to other companies. They will do a better job than you.

Always put some useless jumper cables to look cool

Hello, I am new and the truth is that I am excited to be able to belong to this community

Thank you for the stickers! 🌞🌞

So much for working from home today, boss called me in for a fucking tech meeting ahhhhhh

Building your own tool board is fun ! This was nice to build. What do you think?

Fucking brilliant. Paused my Ubuntu VM in VMWare. Unpaused it, the whole file system is corrupted.

There goes my 2 hours of customization. Lesson learned.

Dunkirk soundtrack .... 👌👌👌

I are programmer. I know Excel

Recently, one of my customers filed a ticket because some iFrame he got from another company wouldn't display after putting it into the content editor.
I told her it won't work because the (third-party) editor prohibits JavaScript inside iFrame tags and their attributes for security reasons.
She said ok. She said she'd understood the problem. And then, she reopened the ticket four (4!!!) times for the exact same reason, once because she tried to use a fixed iFrame tag the other company sent to her... still containing JavaScript, of course.

But, yeah... She understood what the problem was. Is clear.

I just had to explain to someone why Java isn't a suitable shorthand to JavaScript. Then he told me not to lecture him, because he's a CS graduate. Seriously.

Me: deployment exploded, the database has to be restored.
C: yeah, the latest backup we have is is from Q1 2016
Me: wat? We have almost weekly changes of the database layout, let alone the content.
C: yeah, you have to execute somewhat 60 sql files ... Have fun
* Sitting in a corner and staring apathecally at the wall*

Lot of BSODs on devRant lately... Proud to have Linux in Italian airports <3