Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

I thought the antenna actually did something... nevermind

If you ever feel useless remember, Samsung has it's own App store

And the most useless function of the year award goes to...

Customer: ... and can you also disable right-click to prevent our website's content from being copied?

Me:

Teacher :"Git is useless, you don't need it"
Me: -.-
The next day
Me: "thank God I used it"

The worst thing of being a dev nowadays is feeling useless when you lack internet access...

#useless #code #oss

Always put some useless jumper cables to look cool

I've done it. I've deactivated my facebook. No more useless BuzzFeed videos. Fuck Facebook

we all are superior useless creatures

Startups are like JS frameworks.

The more you encounter, the more you realize how useless 90% of them are.

What do computers and air conditioners have in common ---- They both become useless when you open windows

Project management isn't so useless a discipline after all

If you feel useless, remember, Word has a dark theme

Fucking useless languages that compile into other languages but provide no real benefit other than some trendy syntax crap.

Fuck you XCode ... You are fucking useless!

My old phone is not useless anymore.

When you delete a block of code that you thought was useless

If you ever feel useless, just remember that someone has to port Microsoft Edge to Android

You are as useful as your code. Useless.

Fuck those useless calls!

PM: customer X wants a call in an hour.
Me: they didn't send emails before. No questions, no prep, no call.
PM: yeah but they want to talk.
Me: these unprepared calls are pointless. I'll be sitting there, noting down the questions and telling them I'll have to look up the details.
PM: shall I tell them that you don't want to talk to them?
Me: I don't care, it's your call, do whatever you want.
PM: that's not professional.
Me: oh you're calling it professional to sit there with a pencil, writing down crap or what?
PM: what's the problem?!
Me: I've had this shit for the last two fucking calls, and they were so unprepared that they wasted half of the call just reading up, and I'm fed up with this shit!
PM: but they are the customers, and they aren't that happy.
Me: yeah, and do you know why? Because our schedule is completely fucked up and our management has been ignoring ANY warning from engineering for WEEKS! That's why they are unhappy and not because I'm not holding their fucking hands!
PM: hey, but you can't tell me what I have to do!
Me: and you can't tell me either! [he's my PM, but technically not my superior.]
PM: so no call or what?
Me: you're free to have your call. I'll sort out the shit that they're concerned about, putting that down in a proper email, and then we have at least some basis for discussion!
PM: (left for his call)

Btw., my cursing was the same in the live conversation with him.

Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common??

A: They both become useless when you open windows.

FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING CUSTOMIZABLE, HALF-MODULAR, MULTILINGUAL, DYNAMICALLY-AUTOUPDATING PAINTBRUSH / CARPENTER / SANDWICH CUTTER / ALARM CLOCK DECEPTICON WITH OPTIONAL SCREWDRIVER ATTACHMENT!

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SIMPLE FUCKING SCREWDRIVER!

FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING EXISTENCE YOU USELESS FUCK!

I definitely need this 😅

Useless codes 😑

The best example of useless ui. "press ok"

Anybody else here has a coworker who insists on having comments everywhere and writes code like this?

// Get foo
foo = getFoo();

// Check if foo is greater than bar
if (foo > bar)

Or is it just me?

Ok something went wrong.
I don't know how this could happen.

🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔

I finished a side project.

How could this happen?

🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔

Ahh I know. It is absolutely useless.

If you don't format your code correctly in a time where IDE's do it with a fucking shortcut you should boil a kettle, pour it over your useless fucking head, and throw yourself off the nearest building, you absolute useless cunt.

my macbook legit send me a useless notification about how to disable useless notifications. DONT YOU SAY

When you add a useless feature.... :-)

If you ever feel useless don't forget the following response code- 418 I'm a teapot.

My first rant was about this topic.
I once made a program using C++ which would allow you to make HTML pages.
I made a menu using switch () like this:
1. Add Title to website
2. Add Image
3. Add New Line
4. Add paragraph
Etc..
This was the most useless and stupid thing I ever made

YOU CAN'T JUST SWAP THESE DATES AROUND WITHOUT TELLING US AND EXPECT IT TO BE FINE, YOU USELESS FUCKING SKIDMARK!

... ahem ... sorry about that, just needed to vent ... as you were

God virgin media are useless:

Me: “hello how long is left in my contract”
VM: “you have three months left, may I ask why”
Me: “this is now the 3rd day in two weeks I have had no broadband I’m looking to swap to someone more reliable”
VM: “ I’m sorry to hear that I’ll check our system to see what I can do for you”
2 mins on hold
VM: “hello mr day we can offer you a special offer of doubling your internet speed for only £5 a month”
Me: “how does that help with the fact I have no internet”
VM: “well it won’t but we have an engineer looking at the problem and we estimate it will be fixed by 17:05”
Me: “thanks but no thanks, what’s the early exit fee”

😡🤬😡

Most useless things are mysql error messages lol

"Git is useless"

If you ever feel useless, please check this. It would give you some hope. 😂😂😂

Source: Reddit

devRant - securing our users webcams and microphones since 2016

As long as devRant lives, your firewall is useless.

Step 1: Install Vim
Step 2: Realize that Vim is useless
Step 3: Uninstall Vim

Hhhmmmmmmm a useless piece of shit like always it is then

Lecturer talking about a great, strong technology whole 2 hours, in the end of lecture he said :

"But this technology is too old to use nowadays."

Some teammates are as useless as street lights in gta games

I found an interesting job post on SO, I decide to apply. It comes with a programming test. A simple unit test that must pass (see current-1 post). I get it passing, go to send off my resume and code and the fucking email they supplied isn't valid or active. Fuck you. Eat dicks. Useless fucking HR.

If you ever feel useless, remember there is a protection case for the Nokia 3310

Insert is the most useless key in my keyboard :)

ok who the fuck codes an optional feature and says it is useless

You are so useless, I might as well just call you Internet Explorer.

New useless information unlocked

I'M NOT EVEN FUCKING DOING ANYTHING! WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? PIECE OF WANK BATTERY

"What do computers and air conditioners have in common?"
"They both become useless when you open windows."

The code is a freaking mess. Shared behavior, terrible variable/method naming, misleading module naming, dynamic polymorphic spaghetti, whitespace errors, no consistency, confusing even if you understand what the code is doing, ... . It should never have passed code review. It probably wasn't code reviewed.

The comments are sparse and useless. Quality level: // This is bridge.

The documentation does not exist.

Testing steps for QA are missing several steps, including setup, so actually using the feature is bloody challenging. If one thing is wrong, the feature just doesn't show up (and ofc won't tell you why).

The specs for the feature are outdated and cover only 4 of 19+ cases. And are neigh useless for those 4.

The specs for the report I'm fixing don't even check the data on the report; it just checks for one bit of data on each row it creates -- a name -- which is also the same on each row. gg.

The object factories (for specs) are a mess, and often create objects indirectly, or in backwards order with odd post-create overwriting to make things work. Following the factories is a major chore, let alone fixing or extending them.

The new type has practically zero test coverage.

The factory for the new type also only creates one variant -- and does so incorrectly.

And to top it all off: the guy who wrote the feature barely ever responds. If he does, he uses fewer words than my bird knows, then stops responding. I've yet to get a useful answer out of him. (and he apparently communicates just fine, according to my micromanager.)

But "it's just fixing a report; it'll be easy!"
Oh, fuck off.

Hi

You know.. developers would be pretty useless in a zombie apocalypse...

(or in a world without computers/electricity in general)

The most useless developer on my internship program last summer ends up getting a full time offer at Google. #DataStructuresAreTheKeyToLife

FUCKING USELESS 'FRIENDS' WHO ONLY CALL/MESSAGE FOR HELPING THEM TO CHOOSE TO SELECT APPROPRIATE LAPTOP FOR THEIR 'PURPOSE'. IM FUCKING DONE. THIS IS the THIRD TIME IN THIS WEEK. STOP GETTING ON MY GODDAMN NERVES. VISIT AMAZON FOR FUCKS SAKE, APPLY FILTERS AND BOOYAH MAGIC. YOU GET A FUCKING VARIETY OF LAPTOPS TO CHOOSE FROM. BUT NO YOU WON'T, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING USE AMAZON.

"… try to absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is essentially your own." - Bruce Lee

told client to buy this particular plugin.

he bought another plugin (totally useless) because it was cheaper.

like wtf.

Senior dev says "it is a piece of cake and it can be done in 2 days", when a new feature is suggested and assigned to me.. but when it gets assigned to him : "This is a big feature and there are lot of things that we need to decide, it will take more than 3 weeks".

Is it too much to ask for the dumb ass devs behind Eclipse to fucking let a FRESH install - no plugins yet, open without crashing?

is that even a thing?

Fuck you Eclipse, and companies that make me use this useless pile of shit!

I just started making my first app in Android and Android is straight forward man they dont try to say something nicely :D they tell you that your shit is useless :D

Didn't do anything today, so someone referred to me as "more useless than a knitted condom"

Reviewing bosses code and had these two if statements with no logic between
if (someVar) {
if (someVar) { // double check someVar is true just in case
}
}

Realising if you'd only studied a degree in computing, you would be useless in the real world as a developer

When your DevOps is useless

Bing trying to find answers for your programming problems is more useless than balls on a dildo

The most useless response when asking for help:

”I’ve never had this issue.”

Finally (sort of )completed my website for the first time ever.
Yay me!
Sorry for the useless post, but some of you should be able to relate.

I fucking hate when I update my apps and they don't describe what they changed. Like the latest spotify update description:

We’re always making changes and improvements to Spotify. To make sure you don’t miss a thing, just keep your Updates turned on.

"C is C++ without the useless stuff"

If you ever feel useless and incapable, think about Safari‘s devtools.
Holy fuck.

Last year, we had to do a big university project in randomly selected groups (5-6 students in every group).Three of the five guys were completely useless, I mean, both the other competent guy and me wrote around 20,000 lines of code each, the other ones wrote around 500 lines of code (combined).
After our first few meetings we quickly knew that we have to give them a small task which was so trivial that not even they can fuck it up. But we were wrong. Oh boy, so wrong.
They simply had to code the excel export of the data, which means they had to use two functions from a library and pass the correct data. But their solution was so bad, I lost faith in humanity and was fascinated by it at the same time.
For example, there was this simple class "Room", which had a few properties like size or number of seats and a few getter/setter etc. That was a core class and written by the other qualified guy. So how did the others fuck up the excel export? They somehow rewrote that class in German (although the other code was completely in English), implemented a function for each property that would write its value to a hardcoded cell in a hardcoded excel file.
And this was just the tip of the iceberg. Needlessly to say that I had to rewrite the whole export in the night before we had to present the project.

What doesn't kill you makes you a god damn fucking useless piece of shit task manager
windows :@

Useless machine.
.... I want one

When you add a useless box just to make it even

Found this on our project. I think that it is the best condition ever.

I love the feeling of running `sudo apt autoremove` and getting rid of like 500 MB of useless packages.

After 20 minutes refactoring code and changing methods, you realize you have been editing the wrong file -.-'

I'm gettimg too hardcore

Those jQuery fuckers spam their shit into every damn article or video. Why do you retards even use it in 2018? JavaScript has evolved and can do all the useless shit jQuery does in an equal style.
I hate to see modern front-end tutorials using this useless ugly tool.

Q) What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
A)They both become useless when you open windows.

Office workspace. Corrected some ergonomics with useless books I had laying around =D

How the fuck are you guys so unable to do anything without Stack Overflow? I didn't evem notice that it was down...

Worlds most USELESS product

when you deploy useless hotfix/patch in prod.

Your commit message is as useless as a holiday that falls on a Saturday

Useless meetings

All of them are useless.
It’s just a matter of time.

I am feeling useless. I was searching for a bug for 5 hours just to fix it in 5 seconds.

Found this ironic piece of code in our codebase. Thought i’d share :)

Why do people fucking do this? You're working in a team, ffs. Even if right now you're the only one working on that branch or whatever, that doesn't make it okay to have the most useless commit messages of all time.

useless fucking client bastards. i sent an email to all clients 2 months ago about gdpr and the impending deadline. Explaining that they need to update privacy and check webforms and internal procedures etc are compliant. I said I would help them implement any changes to their respective sites. Heard nothing from these fuckers... except this morning an email “what does the new gdpr mean for our website?”
FUCK OFF AND READ MY EMAIL, FOLLOW THE LINKS DO THE RESEARCH AND FUCKING SORT YOUR CUNTING SELVES OUT, I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING LAWYER.

Handy or Useless?

What the hell is the point of using typescript if you are going to put any everywhere? Fucking useless.

How am I supposed to get shit done, when you assholes set meetings for half the day?!

Scrum master is SAP of tech specialities: both are just useless status symbols.

I SWEAR BITBUCKET IS USELESS. NONSENCE

I found this gem today.
It perfectly generated ~5 GBs of useless log in the past 2 years.

No one complaining over shitty useless meetings these days?

When your bitch-ass co-worker inserts something that is plain useless in the program in every degree

I really don't understand how developers from Facebook, WhatsApp and other messaging platforms still didn't figure out that ever since they introduced message previews on push notifications that those "seen" check-marks became utterly useless in most of cases..

This COVID-19 quarantine just confirms it, since nobody is doing anything else except being on phones and computers whole day but somehow it still takes them several hours to "read" the message..

How I feel about CS diplomas

I am feeling useless. :/

Skype for business is the most useless fuking piece of shit enterprise joke of a software. Fuck you microsoft.

"Architect"(A) - Hey, StrucN, we have a bit of a problem on the module you are working on (which the previous "developers" seem to have given it roofies)

Me: Okay, what seems to be the problem?

A: There is a need to add some functionality to it, we need you to ...

Me: I see, well it can be done but it wouldn't be so simple - the module is a mess and the change would need to be well tested

A: I fear the clients deadline is for tomorrow

Me: Well he'll have to wait, rushing it is the worst possible option

A: I'll talk to him about it, thanks

After around half an hour A rushes back

A: Hey I passed a ticket to you about the additions we spoke about, it should be ready for tomorrow

Me: It won't be ready, it's too complex to complete is in such a shirt notice (considering it's already the end of the day and all the changes need to be pushed tommorow to prod)

A: I know *programmer from useless team B* did something similar so as it is close to what we need you should copy it.

My inner voice: FUCK YOU YOU USELESS FUCKING CUNT! THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANY COPY PASTE SHIT FROM SOME UNRELATED MODULE! YOU SHIT STAINED MEAT BAG ALREADY DID SUCH A SIN IN THE PAST AND I HAD TO FIX ALL OF IT. THE MODULE SHOULDN'T SUFFER ANY MORE AS IT IS ALREADY A GODDAMN RAPE VICTIM!

WHERE DID PROPER PROFESSIONALISM WENT? WHY IS IT THE INDUSTRY FILLED WITH STUPID WANNA BE "ARCHITECTS" WHILE OTHER MORE COMPETENT FOLK SHOULD ALWAYS BE IGNORED BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS SHOULD BE READY FOR TOMMOROW?!

For fucks sake I miss my old Architect, he could really understand the essence of program development

Jesus. Got elected by the product owner last minute to give a presentation to a bunch of stakeholders. What the fuck is the point of your job if all you do is delegate your responsibilites to other people.

The award of the most useless IDE that is nothing but bugs goes to XCode ...

Sleep? Pffff useless.

Less sleep = more coding!

Hate being in bed and a solution for a problems comes to mind and sleep is really needed. Makes me feel like a stupid useless piece of shit. Then I wake up and try it and it doesn't work anyways, so I am a useless piece of shit.

When you buy new laptop battery and on the next day you spill beer all over the keyboard making laptop totally useless.

Firefox is a useless piece of shit on Mac.

Normal Compilers : i guess you missed a semicolon in line 63

Special Compilers : You wrote wrong code, useless fella, I'm not your servant to tell you all the errors. Your mere existence is unnecessary and useless

After weeks of feeling useless at work as being the "available tech support", but not actually doing anything, I was finally assigned a new learning task, which is looking into Prolog

Doesn't feel like my cup of tea, but at least I'm putting my head to work again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Well..honestly the degree is useless, because at the end what matters is your skills

Spent 5+ years tolerating the bullshit of this guy (ex boss) and looks like it was a useless addition to my network.

I always got high praise from him and my colleagues and PMs. However, that never translated to good hikes/promotions/any favours of any type. Except for one time I never protested this because I saved the mental stress for other more important things (and that worked out well for me). It allowed me to sort of strut about the place like I own it and that was cool.

But today I needed to encash a favour from this reptile. And it was trivial enough that I thought I could count on that snake. But he did what he always does. Offered a useless alternative to any actual help.
So he helped, tried 'his best' according to 'policy', but I have to refuse it because it's like asking for water but getting air in return. Fucking chode.

Avoid useless meetings!!

What is the most complex and most useless thing you've programmed?

Doing a project with someone and find out that they don't know how to use GIT. He copied the file he worked on, put it somewhere else (using the Github uploader) and wanted me to merge it with the original.

So my coworker is gonna change computer and for the past two weeks is "annoying" me to install Ubuntu for her...

Look ... I'm a dev just like you... Get your shit together and do it yourself or wait.

So Wednesday I gave her the task to backup her shit because I'm gonna do it today... Guess what she told me? That I'm better at it and if I could do do for her...

Sure.. Yeah... Gonna rsync your /home/user folder to the new machine and fuck you if you loose anything, that's not my fucking job you useless piece of shit.

Passlist is totally useless!!!
Who counts bf as a hacking scheme????

Why arePC cases so damn useless and ugly nowadays. It's either a cheapo metal box with perforation on the side panel (why?!), Or a decent one with filters but also with a shitty and useless glass panel formo reason.

Why can't cases be just functional metal boxes with filters? Why all that useless shit?

Forced to take a "course" on agile. "Course" meaning 6-7 150 minutes sessions of uselss blabber. Fucking hell this is exactly like the worst of college courses.

Such a massive waste of time.

Giving my honest, somewhat filtered opinion in the dev group, I am in the minority it seems.

"But it's such a great opportunity!"
"<MANAGEMENT GUY> really pulled some strings to get us this course and I am fully confident in <MANAGEMENT GUY>'s criteria."

FFS, he's not in this chat. You won't get a raise by brown nosing him this hard you twit.

When you delete a block of code that you thought was useless..

Useless

What the literal fuck apple? YOU ADDED ANOTHER USELESS FORM OF DATA COMPRESSION??? NO ONE WILL EVER USE XIP!!

Was fixing a bug and suddenly got an error that the lodash library could not be loaded. Funny, didn't even know the project used that lib. Looked for the reference and the previous dev used _.times instead of a for loop. Ha okay, interesting. Wonder where else this library is used.
Searched the whole project for references, dependencies, whatever, any sign of it. Fucking. Nothing.
Rewrote the _.times part as a simple for loop, then removed the library. The rest of the project still worked perfectly. Took me about a minute and a half.
Who the fuck uses an entire damn library to... Not write a for loop I guess?!

A dev joins the project. I help him set up, and he has everything up and running. I give him a task to fix a CSS issue, I even tell him what needs to be done. Almost 4 hours later I begin to wonder what's taking him so long and what is he up to. He finally sends me a pull request with just one line of code changed, and leaves for the day, over 45 mins earlier than supposed to.

I think IT is one the few professions where if someone can’t make it in the lower ranks, they’re quickly considered for management.

#include<rant.h>
#define useless unnecessary

int main()
{
Fuck off Zuckerman and any dev who codes such shit for useless permissions and especially FUCK YOU CLIENT for asking your dev to ask for all useless permissions for your fucking app just because you think it's cool ;

return 0;
}

Whenever you feel useless, try to export a HTML page to pdf with java :))

Computer stickers

When my teacher give me a 8/20 because I've used to much code in a useless flash project.

Well this class was useless, btw 2h have passed... WASTED TIME!!! The professor has been fillabustering for 2h

Does installing WordPress on a single page site count as a useless feature?

Fuck you YouTube for TV, I can't use the fucking keyboard now... Fucking piece of useless shit...

I'm having one of those days where I just feel completely useless at programming

"Useless feature you built"

Even Yoda's giving me sh*t!

On a scale of 1-10 I deem this... Useless

When a client asks us to support IE 6 can we start noting that there are some fucking useless clients out there and that Microsoft is inflicted with more of them than most? The continued existence of IE 6 isn't really down to Microsoft---it's down to their useless fucking customers.

So, let's beat those people with a stick until they upgrade to Edge.

At that point everyone can return to fighting about FF, Chrome and Edge---apart from me as all browsers seem to support cat JPGs.

Anybody encountered any bug you have been searching on the net for hours and it is like a nightmare for you.. then your friend comes and fixes it for you in seconds.. and then you just feel useless :(

Yesterday I just turned of caps lock because the only time I use it it is accidentally...

LinkedIn's private mode is a useless piece of shit.

Brain power has been depleted after a long bug fix. I'm useless for the rest of the day.

Am I the only one who thinks studying these types of shit is useless?

Random, and probably useless, but do most people pronounce Sudo as you would "pseudo" or "sue-dew"?

I am so pissed. Someone i know asked me if we were hiring marketting people so I asked the COO and he said we are and asked me to refer them. I asked my friend for her CV and referred her.

I ask the COO a week later whether he contacted her and he says that they will hire a girl they had as an intern a few months ago instead.

I give no fuck to whether my friend ended up getting hired. But i at least expect to get her an interview. When u ask ur friend to refer you to their company, u expect the fact he works there will help u get a chance for an interview or even a god damn phone call at the very least. But now the COO made me look very useless infront of her, it wasnt any different than if she had applied online rather than me referring her personally.

i honestly feel disrespected having been indirectly told my position in this company doesnt even let me help people i know to get a small interview. nevermind the outcome of the interview, but me being in this company should give me the ability to get someone an interview AT LEAST. just for the sake i referred her personally as a current employee at the company... they shouldve interviewed her and forgot about her. just make it look like u cared about the fact that a current good employee referred someone and that my referral actually did something.

I feel very useless infront of my friend now and i hate that now its obvious to her my company doesnt give a shit about my referrals...

The html error for when a site is unreachable due to national restrictions is the same as the burning temperature of paper (361)

Quantum Made all of my favorite extensions useless. I am crying.
Can anybody help me find alternatives?
especially for KittyKeys!!

UK definitely has one of the worst mobile networks ever. Completely useless. 4G constantly gets disconnected everywhere

This kind of stuff is what causes developer's to loss their mind. If you have to write a comment saying do not use a function, REMOVE IT!

Found this useless gold from pre define methods of android studio. 💩💩💩💩

Typescript: All of your javascript code is valid typescript
Installs Typescript
runs typescript
Typescript: line x in function y has an error
Checking the function for error and the code is fine
After wasting an hour comment out all the linez in function y
Run typescript
Typescript: you have an error on line x which is commented in function y

ERROR IN A COMMENTED LINE :(

The useless, recently hired nightmare of an ops manager has been fired! Huzzah!

What do programmers and Air Conditioner have in common?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Both become useless when you open windows

My daily routine :`)

wake up between 5:00 am to 11:00 am -> eat unhealthy breakfast and sometimes miss breakfast -> watch useless youtube videos -> beat my meat -> do some coding -> watch more useless videos -> eat lunch -> do some more coding -> watch more useless videos -> eat dinner -> and then sleep

REPEAT

NEED HELP!!!

Today a co-worker (I am going to call him 'boss') ask to another co-worker (I am goin to call it 'useless piece of shit' or 'ups') to explain to me a new task, becaus boss was to bussy with a new release for a client.

Idk how but ups managed to explain all wrong, like terribly wrong.

Ups: "Dev, all you have to do is fix some queries from local files"

Dev: "Ok, seems legit"

Try the local files, nothing happend

Dev: "weird... ups why this is happening?"

Ups: "I know the same as you, ask boss."

Dev: "boss this."

Boss: "what the actual what? ... this is all wrong. The config file is in mongo, in this IP, we don't use local files anymore. I tell ups to explain this to you so I can atay focused on this other task, but now I lost the double amount of time"

Dev: "oh... sorry, I will fix the remote queries"

I hate ups, every fucking time soneone need something from him this happend or worst...

Can't feel like an impostor when you know that you're actually useless

What is the more useless thing you have programmed? For fun or for real job.

When you're web scraping and the site suddenly redirect their url to their second site so your codes becomes useless.

when an app is completely useless

Working on a very large project that has been going on for 6 months and will run for 18 more.

The day before our bimonthly meeting with the client the PM decides to walk out and quit without telling anyone. Now we're left to try and figure out what he was doing, as most of it was poorly documented it's gona be a pain.

PM just pushed trough another useless half-assed feature.

Why someone would do that?

int resQ = Integer.parseInt(String.valueOf(res));
//res is int

curb your useless
🐊
alligations

I'm going to change database structure for the 5th time now. Thank you documentation, you useless piece of shit.

Sitting through useless Friday meetings thinking "I need a goddamn drink".

Yea please! i want more updates...
2 each day isnt really much isnt it?

So long story short, the place was working at hired me when what they actually needed was another business analyst, so I sit around with no work to do way too often.

I start looking for another job because I can sense that my contract won't be renewed.

So, the rant part

Why are all the job websites so useless?

I get emails saying stuff like "Your profile matched for senior full stack developer at XYZ Ltd"

I have 18 months of experience, I have put this information accurately on my profiles on these job sites,. Yet they still recommend that stuff.

It gets better though... Every once in a while, there's one that I might have a shot at, not to mention these ads all look the same.

So get an email, I look at the job ad, which looks exactly the same as tonnes of others, hit the apply button, get message "You have already applied for this job" Yea? Then why tf is it being emailed to me?

I am really curious... who of you actually uses snapchat and why?
In my opinion it's one of the most useless apps out there and one of the best concepts to share all your private information with other people and of course the developers.
Also I'd like to believe that rather intelligent people don't use it or if they use it then just for the sake of not being excluded. Since this is a community of programmers I'd like to hear your opinions.

"Sorry, but nothing in this MR is as it should be (I don't even know where to start) - all you do here is waste scarce CI resources"

Much helpful. Such wow. Teach me how to make such toxic and useless merge request comments.

Fuck the internet...
This is completely useless.

The statement is : if you ever feel useless, then you haven't seen this simplification, well... just see who will be more useless to solve it at same place again...

funny how creating something merely useless like a text2asciiart converter can spark this amount of joy

Spaghetti coding in php is ugly.

Useless semicolons make do not help

Anyone ever wanted to fire one of his/hers absolutely useless coworkers?

Troubleshooting in Windows be like - " Well mate, you are fucked. Till the time we run a baseless scan.. relax ,take a deep breath ..Check your internet connection . .. for you are going to have to google the problem and fix it yourself...

Fucking Java 8 java.time package. I want to kill the damn developers of this useless piece of shit code.

When they use up 2TB of disk space with useless information that kills your jobs for the 10th time!

Fuck you Gradle. You fucking useless, unintuitive clunky piece of fucking garbage

FUCK AGNJIOAWG

Our college interns:

*Push completed project source to remote repo at end of dev course.*

*List Git as skill in resume.*

Not a rant, just a depressive thought.

I earn $135k USD a year(plus benefits) and haven't done anything useful in the last 2 months, most of the time I go to the bathroom or the coffee shop to play Disney Tsum Tsum.

Feel empty inside.
Good thing is about to end

Whats your favourite completely useless function / code?

You're as useless as my beeOS.

XCode 10 almost there, will it be a good update or as usual a fucked up buggy useless update?

Thanks thanks thanks devrant to not add theses useless story bubble shit in your apps like every other one

How to sell a useless product
Include those words: #blockchain #cloud #AI #chatbot #machine_learning #bullshit ..

Best comment I've ever found:

Input: 4 TOTALLY USELESS STRINGS

They really were totally useless.

useless.