My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

I think the most annoying thing of being a programmer is to accidentally press ctrl + s on a browser because of having been saving so much

HR: We have received complain that you have been sexually harassing an intern.
Me: No, I wasn’t. Me and the new intern all we talk about is Coding, Apps, and TV-Series
HR: You are lying. I have the words that you said to the intern. Do you want me to read it out.
Me: I have no clue what I said to the intern so please read it out.
HR: You said, “Always pull before you push”. Do you remember saying this?
Me: Yes, I was teaching the intern how to use GIT.
HR: Okay, let me call the intern and let see if he says the same.

** Intern **
HR: Was he sexually harassing you today at any time.
Intern: No
HR: Did he said, “Pull before you push” to you?
Intern: Yes
HR: What does that mean, sounds like a slang for something sexual.
Intern: haha, no it means that I should pull the changes made to the files before I can push the changes I did to the code from my computer.
HR: But he said something else like he was teaching you how to use GIT
Intern: Yes, that’s what GIT is.
HR: Okay both of you can go and don’t use this type of terms in the future it doesn’t make good working culture.

Spent 2 days carefully crafting a highly optimised routine, then spent 3 minutes to write an unoptimised version for benchmarking. The latter ran 50% faster.

yea, basically me learning right now.

some commits are total suicides

Revolution of the web In last few years...

thou hast committed a grave sin

Hmm, maybe it will work.

when you have to do this because the code looks correct but you're not sure what the heck is wrong because it doesn't make sense

I really want to tell my team about devrant, but I fear it will impact the sprint velocity

JavaScript, also known as Java for short…. (can't believe this is real…)

That awkward moment when your shower has a better commit streak than you.

Old but gold ... And it's true actually

Apparently I, the Intern, am the only developer at this company with any experience with Version Control. My Boss just asked me for 'Documentation on how to create a Repository in GitHub'...

"There's a big button that says 'Create Repository'. CLICK IT."

I asked marketing how to rank higher on devrant, that's what they came up with:

Well, at least there are no errors...

my desk ...

If you play a Windows CD backwards, you'll hear satanic chanting... worse still, if you play it forwards, it installs Windows.

devRant has had a huge impact on my life. My poops are significantly longer and now my legs fall asleep because of it.

Bosses be like you earn enough

@localhost This is where the magic happens.

When you +1 a rant with 99 upvotes so the user can receive the devRant squishy ball.

IE only have one job to do!

Of all people that apply for a job at our company, 95% can't write a loop that counts from 1 to 10.

And if that's not bad enough: our bosses state "we shouldn't ask such difficult tasks."

The effort I put into git commit messages directly reflects my mood and level of tiredness.

Schrödinger's code:

Its both working and crashing until you run it.

Sending a well typed professional email to your boss, but receiving a:

Sure thing

Dave

Sent from my iPhone