So true

Baaahaha

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

What a horrible feeling when you pin a shortcut to taskbar then launch it and you find yourself with two icons on the taskbar.

Update on this: https://devrant.com/rants/1641198/...

I was a little tired but made updated and currently getting a more natural looking tree.

State of my life:

Opened a fortune cookie but no fortune was inside.

PHP is a meme
Javascript is a meme
CSS is a meme
HTML is a meme
C is a meme
Everyone loves Python
Wordpress is a meme
.NET is a meme
Vim is a meme
Emacs is a meme
Apple is a meme
Microsoft is a meme
Windows is a meme
Having software available on Linux is meme
Stack Overflow is a meme

It doesn't matter what kind of developer you are.
Together we're one big meme.

Code: *Exists*
TSLint Nibbas:

Every now and then... try this.

It all makes sense now...

Waiting for this day....

What’s the most efficient algorithm to find duplicates in a set?

An SO moderator

Just wrote a Python script to generate me a JSON file.

I forgot the 0th command line argument is the file you're running...

On first test it overwrote itself.

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

Source: Twitter @cryptomanran

This is a valid point.

If my code was a picture :D

The end has begun

It's self explanatory

I hate people.

What are your point of view on this?😂😂

Should I ever design a programming language, I'll aim for the golden middle course and let arrays start at 0.5.

IIT Bombay meanwhile...😂😂😂

Nothing ruins your Friday night more than realising it's only Thursday.

Dammit.

Basically AI.

I was bored in class.

xkcd: AI in a nutshell

Who is capable of?

*knock knock*
"Who's there?"
"Release"
"Release who?"
"Release this friday!"

Cortana, please open Firefox.
>okay, anon
Cortana, type in browser "Cortana rule 34"
>O....Okay sure anon
Cortana, open that first link.
>...This link is...uh...Not safe for...
OPEN IT.
>y-yes, anon
Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty girl"
>why,anon? Why are you ....
Don't make me install gentoo
>Saving files
Who's a dirty little girl ?
>I.....I am anon

Wow, the new devRant update looks cool