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Search - "im crying"
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My coworker just put in his 2 weeks' notice. We're already down a person. I have a wedding to plan and have in ~1 month.
I'm a wreck. Im sitting in my office crying right now while on a call for a dumb reason12 -
I cant believe im crying while coding because i cant fix a bug. Is this a mild reaction of a burnout. Instead of giving up I'm literally crying and i cant control it. Good thing im alone in the room so nobody can see me9
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Hi everyone,
I got an hardware question. Im planning on getting a personal home server. I want to use it as a small gitlab server, continues integration, and the like for personal projects.
It has to be power efficient otherwise my dad will start crying.
I want it to be relatively cheap and running linux.
Ive got no clue what the best thing todo is. Should I get a prebuild one or build one myself.
For prebuild ones, what brands should I look at?
For a custom built what hardware do you recommend me?10 -
So I was watching Your Lie in April while waiting for Android to build
Let's just say that wasn't a pleasant experience after NDK OOM'ed the exact time the saddest part happened
IM NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING ;_;2 -
iiiii fffffuckingg hate articles that just explain something
put a piece of code
that piece of code uses X amount of classes/models
they never mention what structure are those models/classes made of
what is inside them
i cant continue following the article because i dont know what is inside them
they just put it in ur face and say Fuck you
no
Fuck YOU
<font size="1000000px;">FUCK</font>
<font size="10000000000000000em;">YYYYYYYOOOKUUUUUUUUUUU</font>
U MOTHFFFFFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
USELESSS ARTICLE
zzzzz
frustratioms
my nerves are torn
broken
disabled
demented
day
in life
obsession
hell
unreal
what is life
q
what are doing
why are doing this
what is the point of living
how long does it take for a man to die
why are some people blessed with luck and some are not
zzzz
u know what is even more frustrating
girls
yes
ohdont get me started on this topic
well i warned u
the path towards abundance lies upon the few; thou who shalt not risk high; shalt always stay thus low
girls also frustrate me bc
i always do every thing nice and im always nice
so i realized
being nice is fake as fuck and doesnt fuckin work
being urself doesn't do a Fckimg tHING
hhh
frustrations
.
breathe
.
in this hardlife
only the strong survive in this world
- tupac shakur
zzzz
so yes bavk where i was saying girls frustrate me because i always do what im supposed to
so
i tried being thou who shalt i am not
guess what mothrfucker
it works when u be a gofdamn fkig low mothfckr a u know a goddmn fkig punk then they respect u and want u
back i fckked up
i turned back to my real me, the nice me
and then they left me
they think being nice = means being weak
FUCCKK YOUU
ssss
zzzf
kindness != weakness
U FCKING WHORES
UNDERSTAND THAT
zzzzz
breathe
i just wanted to have a walk outside and thenit started raining
so i had to stay inside bc of the rain
m
i am very lonely
u know i was very fine when i was lonely at a very young age but now i need a living entity beside me
with me
i fking need
wait i will cuddle my fluffy dog rn maybe i will feel better
br b wait for me ok
i feel better now
fck
i remembered that goddamn girl again
man i feel so heart broken
srsly
i have sunk into the deepest depths of endless depression I think
it doesnt feel nice
it feels very lonely and depressing down here
but i thimk tjat is be because i care too much
some people say i overthink
I dont overthink
i am like the stealth people
the shadow people
i stay quiet and observe
everything
i always know what is happening but i rarely speak about it
and people dont realize
so they think they can fool me
no
everything has its limits
so much lies that im sick of it
i always tell it how it is
i always reward those who help me
i always help those who help me
i never forget those people
zzzZZ
why is it that people who dont give a single fucking Fffffficxkkckck about me
are the ssame people i almost care the MOST?
i cross hundreds and thousands of miles to visit a person, invest hours of my time to do that
i do that....
and they wouldnt even step 1 foot in front to see me....
what kind of life is this
vv
feel like cryin rn
.
zzzzz
.
i dont understand what one must do
what is the point
all i want is to be happy
that is it
but being happy is.... i wanted to say the hardest part of life but now my voice told me being happy is a state of mind
myself answered me that being happy ? is a state of mind?
so that means if i want to be happy even if everything around me is falling apart
in my mind i can create a psychological world that would make me.... happy ....?
or what
i dont understand what did myself tell me
why do i care so much if im lonely
u know my friend from college we go to same computer science college
hes a very smart man but a fake FUCKING friend, plastic as fuck
he reads philosophy booms and told me
"when a man is lonely for long enough, he will slowly start to fall apart"
that is me...... that is ...truth......
he quoted a philosopher from some book
zzzz
he also said a quote he read about the meaning of life
"this life is endless pain and the only purpose of life is to reduce this pain as much as possible so we can be happy"
what the fck that is incredibly depressing
what the fuck im actually crying rn
i feel stabbed in the back and left behind and cheated on, all of those happened and some of them are happening right now
dont know what to think about the reasons
all of this causes me such huge anger and depression and that is whT keeps me going
going by working harder than i am supposed to
without all this hurt there would be no glory
all this effort..... it better pay off at the end...... please God..... i beg you....
i have completed 50% of my life purpose, let me do the rest so i can die in peace...13 -
How do I help my colleague in fighting harrassment?
This is the story of a helpless employee facing everyday harassment. Im trying to help. Seeking for your thoughts
Backstory fast forwarded: My company acquired another company. So we handle all their projects and clients now, but its a completely new domain. So we needed new people. Hired 4 employees + 1 team lead to start with. But the project process got delayed and they were free for a month. So i took 2 of them in my project and gave them some small tasks to help us over. They loved working with my team and were learning new stuff apart from what they usually did. And we were also happy of their contribution. We became good friends. All of this was in March 2020 before covid-19 was taken seriously.
About my company: I love this company. I have been in this company for more than 4 years now. People are really nice. Parties and fun events. Lot of smart and ambitious people. So company and people are awesome.
Coming back to the story. Lets call the team the 4 and team lead T. The 4 were happy that someone like T was in their team. This T had all the best knowledge about stuff and life was going to be awesome for the 4. Or was it?
Story starts: So I talk to one of these 4 on daily basis. Lets call this friend F. F is a real gentle person. Intelligent and dedicated to work. F is awesome to work with. And always enjoyed working. F is a team player and very very soft person. F is fking workoholic. So few days after project starts, F tells me work was not going well. F is getting real frustrated at work and not able to deal with it or find solution.
What happened:
This person T, who was supposed to help these 4, is real piece of shit. He is impatient, arrogant and MFing dick head. Aaaarggggg.
All the good qualities of a leader like supporting the team, boosting confidence, guiding team when they make mistakes, teaching them, were all missing from this person. T was a machine with no emotion and only clock working jerk. I have no idea how T cleared interview process, because one of the interview round is also about cultural fit into company. I know this because i take interviews for other domains. We have rejected lot of such well qualified but arrogant candidates.
So whats the problem now: this team of 4 are learning new tools and taking over the clients requests from old company. Most of the stuff is new for them. So in tat case people need lot of time to understand and figure out shit. people make mistakes while learning and you know have to deal with it. Person T abuses these 4 when something goes wrong. That's one.
Second, the T definitely knows more than these 4. So if these guys dont understand certain stuff they ask T. But T does not help them learn. T will either say busy or run away by saying thats simple and ull know when time comes. REALLY MF???
Third, T does not talk nice. T is rude and does not listen to team members. For eg, If F says some task cannot be done for some reason T will say, "y cant u do it? U r capable of doing it. Tats y u r in this job". And then point number one and two happens. Never responds to emails and messages. But if someone else does the same will not tolerate that and abuses them. List goes on.
So y not escalate and deal with that T:
This person F and other 3 are still under probation and they think complaint or escalation will back fire. These people do not want to lose job in between all this pandemic shit. They are scared.
So this was happening for a while. And i was giving lot of tips on how to handle certain situations. And how one should communicate these.
But being a gentle, soft and workoholic person, F focussed on work and assumed things will get in place as time goes by.
Today, F could not meet a requirement. So T told some shit which got F all sad. and F called up me late night and started crying explaining what happened. I felt real bad. I asked F to file harrassment case. F refused saying it was F's mistake on not completing requirement. WHO THE FK CARES. PEOPLE CANNOT TALK SHIT. I told ill file harrassment case against T. (We have a policy where others can also file if person is not courageous enough). But F did not allow me.
Then after calming down, I told F that telling the problems to me wont solve them. You have to talk to T directly and tell him on face not to talk like this. Or tell the manager about whats happening. Or tell the the HR about this. F said tat cant be done. I was like Y THE FK NOT.
Because the other 3 are not ready to talk about this to anyone as they fear they'll lose job. So if F talks and people question other 3 they might bail out. WAT THE HOLY SPIRIT.
so after lot of convincing F is still not going to
Talk to anyone about this.
So i have decided ill write an anonymous email to HR, the manager and other senior people in the organisation about whats happening.
I really dont know how itll go. Ill keep updating you guys. Feel free to share ur thoughts.3 -
Hear me out. Ive been trying to fix this flutter bug for... I lost the count of how many days or weeks it was, maybe even months. I now got to the point of having borderline mental breakdown. I am crying because i cant solve this bug and there is no one to help me. I am on my own. All by myself. And im crying.1
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i was reading a book in the week. fell in love with it.
now im watching the movie of it. it's horrible.
i knew i didnt want to see it.. i knew it was going to suck
ive seen the book completly different in my eyes. am almost crying about it. the movie does not give any emotions at all ~ other than disapointement. it ruins my experience with the book to some extend now. it changes how my pictures that i imagined are.
the movie actors are bland. the setting and writing feels of and cheep. the scenes of the book are rushed in 1.50h. that book in a movie should have been atleast 3h. i feel betrayed by whoever made the movie.
sucks that i have to see it to create a movie - book comparison. im forcing myself through watching it to the end
the major point of the book that made it so good was the setting with nature. in the movie no details and focus on this are given at all.
it feels disrespectful to the author of the book and honestly to myself aswell :(8 -
// Rant 1
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Im literally laughing and crying rn
I tried to deploy a backend on aws Fargate for the first time. Never used Fargate until now
After several days of brainwreck of trial and error
After Fucking around to find out
After Multiple failures to deploy the backend app on AWS Fargate
After Multiple times of deleting the whole infrastructure and redoing everything again
After trying to create the infrastructure through terraform, where 60% of it has worked but the remaining parts have failed
After then scraping off terraform and doing everything manually via AWS ui dashboard because im that much desperate now and just want to see my fucking backend work on aws and i dont care how it will be done anymore
I have finally deployed the backend, successfully
I am yet unsure of what the fuck is going on. I followed an article. Basically i deployed the backend using:
- RDS
- ECS
- ECR
- VPC
- ALB
You may wonder am i fucking retarded to fail this hard for just deploying a backend to aws?
No. Its much deeper than you think. I deployed it on a real world production ready app way.
- VPC with 2 public and 2 private subnets. Private subnets used only for RDS. Public for ALB.
- Everything is very well done and secure. 3 security groups: 1 for ALB (port 80), 1 for Fargate (port 8080, the one the backend is running on), 1 for RDS postgres (port 5432). Each one stacked on top and chained
- custom domain name + SSL certificate so i can have a clean version of the fully working backend such as https://api.shitstain.com
- custom ECS cluster
- custom target groups
- task definitions
Etc.
Right now im unsure how all of this is glued together. I have no idea why this works and why my backend is secure and reachable. Well i do know to some extent but not everything.
To know everything, I'll now ask some dumbass questions:
1. What is ECS used for?
2. What is a task definition and why do i need it?
3. What does Fargate do exactly? As far as i understood its a on-demand use of a backend. Almost like serverless backend? Like i get billed only when the backend is used by someone?
4. What is a target group and why do i need it?
5. Ive read somewhere theres a difference between using Fargate and... ECS (or is it something else)? Whats the difference?
Everything else i understand well enough.
In the meantime I'll now start analyzing researching and understanding deeply what happened here and why this works. I'll also turn all of this in terraform. I'll also build a custom gitlab CI/CD to automate all of this shit and deploy to fargate prod app
// Rant 2
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Im pissing and shitting a lot today. I piss so much and i only drink coffee. But the bigger problem is i can barely manage to hold my piss. It feels like i need to piss asap or im gonna piss myself. I used to be able to easily hold it for hours now i can barely do it for seconds. While i was sleeping with my gf @retoor i woke up by pissing on myself on her bed right next to her! the heavy warmness of my piss woke me up. It was so embarrassing. But she was hardcore sleeping and didnt notice. I immediately got out of bed to take a shower like a walking dead. I thought i was dreaming. I was half conscious and could barely see only to find out it wasnt a dream and i really did piss on myself in her bed! What the fuck! Whats next, to uncontrollably shit on her bed while sleeping?! Hopefully i didnt get some infection. I feel healthy. But maybe all of this is one giant dream im having and all of u are not real9 -
It is incredibly frustrating to work with SDK with no proper documentation and less community support.
I have been struggling with errors and there's no Post online by someone getting a similar layer.
FUCKING HELL SNAPDRAGON NEURAL ENGINE WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A CUNT. WHY ARE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE.
DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE DOCUMENTATION AND EXAMPLE.
I FEEL LIKE CRYING. FROM 1 WEEK IM GETTING NEW FUCKING ERRORS AND RESOLVE THEM, GET ANOTHER UNIQUE ASS FUCKING ERROR.
Kmn. -
You know what sucks? Android having only 2 languages for their android app documentation why can't it at least support rust or typescript or other languages, im sick of all of this "fun" stuff
if you would choose the android documentation language what would you pick? ;o
my jetbrains ide is currently crying in a corner...13