Roommate: "Hey, man, uh, I know you use computers a lot or something; do you know off the top of your head how to use the touch screen on my computer?"

Me: "Uh, your laptop doesn't have a touch screen."

Roommate: "Yeah, but I thought you might know how to use it as a touchscreen."

Me: "...Your laptop does not have a touch screen."

I swear, this is the dumbest man I have ever come into contact with.

That'd be fine if this was a one-off type of thing, but he seriously has approx. 209.8 brain cells in total.

Once, with no argumentative basis, he told me that, if Mickey Mouse got enough votes as a write-in candidate, he could win the Presidency of the United States. I showed him Article II of our Constitution, and he said "why does that even matter here?"

Three more months, school'll be done, and I never have to see him again.

"How long will it take us to build X?"

"How long is a piece of string?"

Very similar indeed. Time estimates are insanely hard even with all the cards on the table, be sure to lay them all out before asking.

I am afraid describing my weirdest coworker would result in me getting stabbed by him with a Mickey Mouse mug. There is no coworker in the world as weird as him, and he would instantly recognise me if I were to describe him here.
I am afraid of his Mickey Mouse fetish. Actually he is 35+ and used t *gets stabbed with a Mickey Mouse mug*

There is a mark on the whiteboard hanging behind my desk that says:

"Days without people walking on <me> doing something weird"

Thus far. The head of the department has walked on me making fun of Indians(I make fun of everyone, my indian brothas from another mothas don't be upset, I particularly make fun of Mexicans), going on a monologue about how the white ranger rules supreme. Why Mario could totally destroy Mickey Mouse in a fight, why my manager is secretly in love with me(with her listening intently into my reasons) and singing the bad touch going "mimi"...dude just make mimi sound like words and you'll get what I mean.

Sometimes the dude just pauses by my desk to check if I am saying anything stoopid.

Work can be really funny sometimes.

When one of your dev's can't keep his variable naming consistent, even within the same line. Throw in non-English comments, bad spelling and incorrect pluralization for good measure

string myVariable = THE_OTHER_VARABLE + AnotherDumbVariable
//This add the string for better working

When your dev's copy and paste code and don't bother changing the (completely irrelevant and misleading) variable names.

First time using a computer:

Booting up some Mickey Mouse game from a floppy disk when I was 4 on my dads gateway 2000.

First time coding:
Writing html in dream weaver at 14.

Edit: holy shit dreamweaver still exists?

My wife's idea for this year 👌🏼

Disney Fast Play is a fucking lie.

Every god damn time racing to find the remote before “Fast Play” kicks in with like 17 minutes of fucking unskippable previews.

Fuckin’ Mickey Mouse hat mother fuckers.

It's 2016 and Android still doesn't support ODBC (let alone OLEDB). Every time somebody asks how to connect their app to a database directly, the groupthink brigade goes "dur hur, use JSON/SOAP/XML services cuz raisins!1one*." That wasn't the fucking question. I don't want your framework-cobbling make-work dependencies. Even the cretins at Xamarin, trying desperately to hook Windows C# programmers, only have SQL Server support because Microsoft fucking did it for them. WTF have Android developers done over 7 OS versions if basic features like database access are still fucking missing? No wonder the App Stores are full of Mickey Mouse garbage.

*raisins!1one = "I don't know how to secure a database so I'll just yell 'security!1one' so people think I r smrt"

mickey is free

Well this is in fact just me reminiscing, instead of telling anecdote.

My first PC was a pentium two, the cpu casing being those horizontal ones, and a big bulky monitor resting on top of it; all white. A white mouse, two white speakers (you know the ones). I was perhaps just about 6 years old, and I used it the first bunch of times to play Mortal Kombat, and Sega's Moto Racer 3, and watch animated disney movies but mostly mickey mouse on VCD. I guess my habits of gaming and binge watching started way too early.

“I hated science in high school. Technology? Engineering? Math? Why would I ever need this? Little did I realize that music was also about science, technology, engineering and mathematics, all rolled into one.” — Mickey Hart, Musician