Programming in a tree. I usually climb up here and read, but I decided to code, and I didn't drop my laptop :D

I covered the screen with my hand because my code's ugly, and I don't want anyone to see it lol.

yeah binary tree ;)

Wife: what are you thinking about?

Me: how to optimize key storage in a binary tree

Wife: forget that I asked

So I just got one of those pop ups saying YOUR COMPUTER HAS BEEN HACKED.

I decided to call the number, while firing up a Linux virtual machine, running Linux Mint. I customized the home button to look like the Windows start menu logo, and proceeded to let that scammer connect to it.

He was so confused, considering the script he was reading off of was meant for windows. He opened up terminal, and started typing in "tree" and told me that's how many viruses I have.

😂😂😂

------------ Programmer's Fact -----------

The root is at the top of the Tree🌳.

.

Yo mama's so fat that if she sat on a binary tree she will convert it into a linked list in O(1) time

Merry Christmas 🎄

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I'll spend the first twelve sharpening the axe. —A programmer.

Only in computer science you'll find that root is on the top of the tree and that parent may kill it's child after its function is no longer needed.

I was in school and I got bored. I opened two command prompts and did what any scammer would do.

I went to the root of the drive and did a tree. The other window is pinging google infinitely.

After a few seconds, I hear a kid say "Are you hacking the pentagon?". That guy also asked me to hack the Google Play Store. He shall forever think I'm a hacker.

Thought I would share a picture of my boss's wiring job...

I'm at Disney world and the Windows OS was exposed on one of the machines at a ride so pulled up CMD and ran "tree C:/" then played sample music on full blast. Get on my level hackers :^)

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on binary tree it became a linked list

Programing Tree🤗

Please help

Made my first fractal tree

Hell yeah

Before you're hired:
1. A binary tree?
2. Currying?
3. Higher-order function?
4. How does event loop work?
5. What is prototype?
6. What is encapsulation?
7. Can you draw an algorithm?

After you're hired:
1. Hey, can you add auth token and login to our app?

Researching to making a small 2D game using constructor classes and while building out classes, was working on my Tree method using fractal geometry and made a wallpaper out of the tree 🌳

"Look I found a good use of this piece of shit printer"

Old, but still gold.

Merry christmas everyone!

This comment deserves a separate post 😂😂

[Friend]: OMG are you hacking!
[CMD]: tree
[Friend]: Wow!

So I was with my friends on the subway and we were talking about an assigment we have due this week with trees in Java. I got to say, the face on the old ladie next to us when we said "we must kill all the children left in the tree" was just epic! She must thought we were talking about beating some little kids or something... 😅

Merry Gitmas! 🎄🎉

No one dare deploy anything the week before Christmas - no fucking way I'm writing a hotfix under the Christmas tree again this year

How to hack:
1: Open commandline
2: color 2
3: cd c:/
4: tree
...
5: Profit

Old but gold!

.tree {
visibility: hidden;
}

Tumblr will start blocking adult content on December 17.
Guess I'll be uninstalling the app

Reason # 567 Why i want to murder my colleague.

Light vs dark IDE themes

I personally prefer dark and all my coworkers use light. When they ask me to look at something, it hurts my eyes just scrolling for 5 minutes on their computer.

My try at the fractal tree :) This sort of simple graphical code is very quickly satisfying, gonna try to add some wind next

Php Christmas Tree 😂😂😎

I'm a fucking finance girl. FINANCE. GIRL. Why the fuck am I spending all morning importing databases??
I'll tell you why.. "you are married to a dev. You must have picked something up." Fuck this. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. (no it's not working for the fuck of it, and whoever wrote this program deserves to be hanged by his balls from a tree)

Tree top

How should I make this fractal more tree like?

So I hear Christmas is coming, right? Here's a christmas tree for you!

P.S. this is the real thing. It's a Java project we have to work with... For Christ's sake! The guy who wrote this has recently left the company and handed this code to us as his legacy.

fuck.

So still you say that a tree cannot have a cycle?

My roommate use torrent to download games,movies and series on an 8mb connection 24/7 even when he's sleeping. I a lot of times asked him nicely not to do that while I'm working or use speed limiter so it won't cause any problem for us, once in a while is okay but not every day. But people like him don't listen.
>Now i just disabled utorrent port associated with his IP every time he goes out or go to sleep. That what you get from being a self servings duche bag

When your bus stop looks like the gui from source tree

Actually Working Video Player Christmas tree :D merry x-mas

To all IT-guys out there, be it the desperate sysadmin or the kind lady of the support team, I whish all of you and your family/friends a merry christmas! 😃

At school in computer class,
Me: (to friend who gets excited from "hacking") Hey look im gonna hack!
Friend: *Turns to watch*
Me: *Does "color a" and "tree"*
Friend: Wow.
Me: *Writes a quick Matrix.bat and opens it*
Friend: Woah guys look he is hacking!!
Me: *Sits there awkwardly*

That feeling when you solved a data structure problem that bugs you for 3 days.

Pure orgasm.

Wow, my girlfriend has been really efficient wrapping and organising the presents under the tree... You could say she’s a Swift Package Manager!!

Open source block chain neural network binary tree growth hacker synergy vertically integrating cryptocurrency game changing GDPR compliant internet of things node.js quantum computing start up that'll disrupt and pivot the cloud based ecosystem

color A
tree

Facts:
The root is at the top of the tree 🤔

about one and a half years ago I wrote my first application ^-^
it generates a little christmas tree with lights on the CLI.
and I still feel the same joy as back then when something actually works out :)

You know your codebase is large when you expand your project tree and it's larger than a literal tree.

Come to a festival they said.. .. It'll be fun they said.. Here I'm ranting and reading machine learning algorithms under a tree, while others party. Omg.

Dad thinks i sleep all day and always tells me to get a job.
Mom doesn't know nothing about what i do
Wife thinks I'm talking to other women and have a fucking magic money tree when bills need to be paid.
Wife's grandparents think I'm a lazy piece of shit but ask me to fix their fucking tvs.
Mother-in-law: knows i make money working on the computer but not how.

I needed to sort the caps for my spices. Decided to use a binary search tree.

*FAQ*
Q:why did you make such a great OS.
A:I thought what would attract young users to linux.
This distro even has a song.
link: hannahmontana.sf.net

I think my kids would be bullied at school when they proudly say that roots of a tree are at the top.

Because blockchain is a merkle tree-like data structure that isn’t synonymous with a cryptocoin. I feel like blockchain fell into that buzz word pit, with machine learning, that execs use to try sound innovative and smart in front of superiors.

In response to the picture I posted of my boss's wiring, we got a new switch today and he cleaned it up a bit.

writing an assembler for my compiler, Manticore.

Currently working on writing a hand written parser and parse tree node system.

You are asked by airport security to balance this binary tree to prove you're a programmer. How fucked are you?

During interviews about a month ago my friend and i saw an astonishing girl.we didn't knew her name but we had the interview list containg names of more than 1200 candidates which were selected. Fast forward today we started talking about that day and all of sudden we thought wouldn't it be fun if we used the interview list to find her on Facebook. Around 400 of the candidates were female. Instead of doing it manually i decided to write a python script.
Give script list of names
It will go to all the Facebook profiles which came up by performing a Facebook search though your fb account and take a screenshot of every profile
All of it is done through automations
At the end you just have to look at the screenshots manually
p.s. we failed to find her name. You've to trust me when i say we're not creep😂

So i wrote a Tool that Indexes the ENTIRE darkweb (yes it’s possible)...made it look and feel like a mix of Shodan and Google... when I show and tell people they simply shrug like this was easy😪
I feel like a tree that fell in the woods when no one was around

People points at something on my monitor: My nuts climb the tree to hide

People points at something on my monitOR BY FUCKING TOUCHING IT: My day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable. And fuck you.

Official statistics say that people who touches a monitors screen while im nearby, lives significantly shorter time than people who dont.

If your first commit message isn't "init commit" are you even a developer. 🤔

If your profile contains your GitHub username,I'm going to find you and I'm going to judge you.

When code works and you don't know why

*The interview wasn't off to a good start, as the recruiter forgot he invited me for an interview, so he just led me to some empty office after letting me wait for good 15 minutes. *

Them: Here, write some pseudocode to find a value in a tree.

Me (thinking): Interesting question; DFS / BFS would be really simple here, but nobody uses trees for that - perhaps I should ask about characteristics of the tree in question?

But before I realised, the interviewer already rushed out the office, so I just picked up my jacket and left...

Do you wanna build a Program?
Come on it can be in C
Doesn't compile anymore
bugs to report
Perhaps a parsing tree
We used to be peer buddies
And now we're not
I wish you would tell me why!-
Do you wanna build a Program?
It doesn't have to be in C.

Stackoverflow, Anna

Okay, bye

In approximately 9 hours I'm probably going to humiliate myself in a meeting
I was given 5 days to write a sh script.
And guess what..
I still have not started
FML...🤦‍♂️

I today have seen lovers'name carved into a tree. I don't think it's cute. I just think it's strange how many people take knives on a date

How trees access the internet? They Log on.

"binary tree" is the buzzword of data structures.

When the university finds out you're a pentester:

Usual underclassmen: Can you hack my bf/gf? I think they're cheating on me.

Delusional underclassmen who think they know everything: I can hack too! Who's your master? I learned how from master jimmy *runs a batch script that has "tree" on loop. See? What batch script do YOU have?"

The IT teachers: can you show us how a payload works?

Every side of my window is filled with pine-tree and the beautiful vision of snow. But I have to struggle with Jax-RS in weblogic instead of snowball.

merry xmas. A xmas tree made with switchs.

Computer Scientists put the root at the top of their trees because they've never been outside to see what a real tree looks like

these are the kinds of commits i have to deal with :|
like "it's already past 5 o'clock! i have to leave!"

Let's do photorealism they said,
It'll look beautiful they said,
...
...
...
NO!
Fuck it, we're going with low poly. I'm not rendering one fucking tree, for three god damn hours!
(That's presuming that it doesn't crash during that period)

And yes I know it doesn't actually look that photorealistic, but hey, give me a break I just started. Plus I don't even wanna know how long it would take to render if it was done to look really fancy.

This is my brother asking me if I'm there yet...
P.s. i have used Ubuntu in the past as my primary OS for a project.

Me(To a tree): Hey tree, You have leaves but you can't go anywhere. I can go anywhere but I don't have any leaves.

Tells my non-programming friend that it's way more complex to program an A.I. that simply distinguishes a tree, than to make a program that adds up for like, a billion numbers...

SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME.

While working on my one of the first project in java i ended up using deprecated Calendar API for the date. Since deadline was near i thought it would be a good idea to use the JCalendar API for as date picker (which is a third party API).BAD IDEA. It was the night before the submission round about 11pm when i realized that there is no way to convert JCal object into Calendar and it turned out it is not working as expected you have to subtract a particular number from the year to get date right.

To convert JCal into Calendar i used the toString function to get the date in string sliced it using substring into year,month,day then had to assign date to Calendar object via constructor.
Had to write 70 lines of code just to convert JCal into Calendar...

And then there were other complications related to this problem. Had tu pull an all nighter just to solve date related problems
LESSONS LEARNED :
NEVER USE A DEPRECATED API
NEVER USE THIRD PARTY APIs WITHOUT RESEARCH

When you're asked to extend a functionality on a piece of code and the 2.5k lines in the view are a juicy mix of PHP, HTML, CSS, JavaScript and the functionality relying on jQuery trasversing through the document tree and expecting things to be in their place. Oh did I mention html build with strings in JS? I'm going to love this day! WHY, JUST WHY?! *gasp*

Why are children in tree data structure sad?

Because they only have single parent.

Pulled an all-nighter
Was too busy ans haven't had any time to eat anything next whole day.
35.5 hour sleep deprived, cameback home with takeouts

Let's pull the repo before i start eating.
Open the laptop and connect the charger while laying on bed.
*fell asleep and woke up 9 hours with laptop still running*

The worst part is that the problem i was trying to solve is still there.

Can you spot the irony

!rant

Snow may be around
There may be no sound
Except for the quiet hum
Of a devs system

While you want to stay up and code
Don't forget to decorate your abode
For it's that time of year to put up the tree
And surround yourself with family

How to start fights with coworkers #1:
"GitKraken is better than Sourcetree"

My invisible bonsai tree

devRant competition - can you convince someone that you're hacking?
Requirements:
Windows (Linux is too easy)
You must use genuine windows command line and the following commands:
color 0a (if this isn't supported in your windows os, you can change it in properties)
cd C:\
tree

The point of this is to see how easily you can convince someone you're hacking/doing something malicious. No prize or anything, I just want to see how ignorant those muggles are.

When I was about 13, I opened up command prompt on Windows, and changed the color of it to green then ran the tree command. So, not thinking of anything, this was in the library in front of about 60 people and 2 teachers.

All others saw was green text going down fast, and instantly presumed that I was hacking since they knew I was into coding and finding exploits, and just knew how to use a computer better than them in simple terms (HACKER MAN). Thus this lead to me getting sent to the principal's office... I almost got suspended cause I ran the tree command in green.

Two questions for me remain unanswered, that I would love to know. What would've happened if command prompt was printing text in red. Another question becomes, what would've happened if people saw me pinging Google or some popular site.

I'm studying Software Engineering. Fuck me, right?

Next week I have 3 exams, and I have to deliver the implementation of a Red&Black Tree and a AVL Tree (+ GUI in Swing) by Wednesday. Oh, and also, 5 small systems in C.

I don't know how the FUCK will I survive, but I will.

This guy measures the internet.
Measuring the internet sounds fun.

Revert the revert commit ...
Our git-tree looks fabulous!

Just arrived at the vacation home, turns out the "free" wifi is dead as hell, because quote; "a tree fell on a wire"

Which first of all that is fucking bs because they have internet at the reception still so that shouldn't work either right? But okay we now live without internet for the coming 3 days we are relying on our data plan....

has anyone seen Google's AI face-tree nightmare generator? (a joke from another thread)

They need to be stopped!

Brilliant idea time:

Inspired by @TrojanMorse and his fractal trees

A fractal tree wallpaper that grows throughout the day.

So at 12 a script starts a new fractal and only uses depth 1 (a twig). Then every other hour it branches once more so at 2 am the fractal would have depth 2 and at noon it would have depth 7. That way you get a tree growing throughout the day for your screensaver. Now to make this a thing

Client:we want dynamic mapping of network and packet flow visualization like;packet tracer simulation
Us: is 2D visualization enough.
Client:yeah
*fast forward after first demo*
Client: now make it 3D with pipes representing cable.and packets flowing through them like water.
Me: fucccccck

laptop was too cold to touch,so i just ran a GPU stress test to warm it up.

What if....

Interviewer: how do you find the height of a tree?

Candidate:

"The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is today."

Fuck you whoever designed this shitty database!

Why the fuck do you mix up underscores and hyphens? Plus MSSQL is a little fragile boy, he doesn’t like hyphens that much and you have to add brackets fucking everywhere, so FUCK YOU.

Fucking learn to design things or go fuck your fist while sitting on a banana tree, seriously.

*During meeting*
C:*smiling while looking at massex.py* 'MasSex' uh! You'd change it before pushing

In my defense it's short for Mass Execution not MasSex
FML

on the first day of christmas my PM send to me

There's a bug in your B-tree

on the second day of christmas my PM send to me

two threads deadlocked
and a bug in your B-tree

On the third day of christmas my PM send to me

Three servers crashing
two threads deadlockd
and a bug in my B-Tree

on the Fourth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Fith day of Christmas my PM send to me

Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

On the sixth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Seventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eighth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Ninth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Tenth day of Christmas my PM send to me

Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Eleventh day of Christmas my PM send to me

Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

on the Twelve day of Christmas my PM send to me

Twelve DBs updating
Eleven products deploying
Ten Features requested
Nine interns asking
Eight repos compiling
Seven machines learning
Six deadlines waiting
Five SCRUM meetings
Four clients angry
Three servers crashing
two threads deadlocked
and a bug in my B-tree

H: I'm working on NLP (Natural
language processing).
ME: hahahaha
hahaha
ha ha
ha

so today we used putty and coded the exercise within the university's server. i wanted to use "tree" to see all the files better cause thats what i normally use. turns out i had to install it.

i type in "sudo apt-install tree"

screen: no root priviledges. <university_login> is not included in root.txt. this will be reported immediately.

i forgot i needed root priviledges smh i just wanted to see my files better XD

In a world full of game engines, only the courageous dare to use OpenGL.

Could do with some dev input here.

Going to rename most of my projects before I start them up again just for some consistency amongst everything so...

Because I name my projects internally as a different tree for each milestone (1.0 is maple, 2.,0 is pine etc) I'm going to have my other stuff follow a tree related naming scheme, first up is my game engine/framework...

It's currently called the 'Mod Engine' but I have 3 idea's and want to know people opinions

- Woodsman Engine
- Lumberjack Engine
- Lumber Engine

Which is best do you think or can anyone think of any better ideas? :-3

Within his first 3 workdays, my new colleague witnessed my colleagues' false singing, the Christmas tree decorated with broken key tags, and the Friday afternoon beers + online fail videos - and a little of our workflow too. I think he's gotten a good general impression now 😂

What the hell was i thinking...

How Bad I'm at frontend Development: about 3 year ago i accidentally wrote </from> instead of </form> while working on the frontend of a website, everything just went bonkers. Took me 10+ hours to realize my mistake.
In my opinion frontend devs are real hero they have to learn multiple frameworks, and make website respinsive and work on IE at the same time. Idk Why the fuck clients still want their website to work on IE (fuck you Carl, your users are of age group 15-22 they don't even know wtf IE is)
P. S. At that time i didn't knew HTML validators are a thing.

The moment you go to a random Windows computer and type:

color 0a
tree /

in cmd and say:
„I‘m hacking into the Matrix“

and everyone around you is just like
„ooooooooooooouuuuh“

Hey! First post on rant by saying merry Xmass!
This is my Christmas tree made from JavaScript ! I can change the height of the foliage and the wood part follow !
For those like me who live in a country where you only have the cold but not the snow 😅❄️

Source tree opened

Finds new option 'cherry pick'

Wtf is this

Clicks on it

Wooow, there goes my master branch again

Android dev job question:

"Describe the activity lifecycle and write an application that does x,y,z in accordance with it"

Fullstack dev job question:

"Write some code that interacts with our API and does x,y,z, put the data into our database and build a web interface"

Java backend dev interview :
"BUILD AN ELEVATOR ALGORITHM WITH LESS THAN o(nlog(n)), FIND NEIGHBORS IN A BINARY TREE, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN INTERFACE AND ABSTRACT CLASS?"

Why?

"Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe." - Abraham Lincoln

Why name Tree a Tree when it's really Root if you look at it with head up ?

(Tree Data Structure)

We're really taught to look at the world upside down

Anyone else have trouble with real life common sense?

Story time:
Yesterday Evening a dog chased my best mate's cat up a tree. Being the genius I am, I decided to climb after the adorable bugger. Fell from about 8-10ft onto concrete slabs on my back.

Main thing first: I got lucky, CTs and X-rays showed no lasting damage. I'm back home and safe now.

What got me was going through the hospital having to hear the story of how I fell out of a tree onto my back and head like an idiot... from medical person to medical person.

I was lying in the bed, thinking "I swear I'm competent!? Why do people trust me!?"

Does anyone else have any weird skill black spots, or common sense break downs?

🎶Lemon Tree🎶
I wonder why,
I wonder how,
This stupid piece of code actually works right now.
And all that I could see, it's actually compiling...

(Happens all the time)

So during a test I was to write an algo of binary search tree traversal and I got a zero....Why? Cause I wrote a recursive algorithm and also because I wrote "English" instead of pseudocode, which she thought is called algorithm and on showing her the exact same recursive Algo on various websites and books, she just declared all of them wrong

Someone asked me to help him with his assignment and this happened.. trust me I'm not drunk
"mid ka next" means "next of mid"

Anyone else prefer working with git visually (i.e. Source Tree) rather than on CLI? I like seeing what's going on easily

Playing with tree like structures today. Had to write a function where a node produces a new node containing data from both self and parent.

The moment when you realise you've just coded incest...

On the -2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

offfffline servers,
NO notifications,
one, lousy fucking dayyyyyy
(... on the first day back to workkkkkkk..innnggg...)

Database corrup-ted,
users' fucking pissed....
and a partridge in a pear tree!

$merryXmas[-1]

"Great ideas can be found in every leaf, in every tree, in every blade of grass. Oh, no, wait… I was thinking of chlorophyll." - Jim Olen

! Rant

To any games programmers here (I feel so lonely surrounded by these Web devs)

If I tree falls in a scene with no audio listeners does it still make a sound...

Freelancer/coworker: "Why don't you just use source tree instead of git in the command line?"... me: *face palm*

git add greeting.php
git commit -m "added Christmas greeting"
git push origin christmas-tree

This is a valid device tree node/property identifier "._+*#?-"

Interviewer: so why should we hirer you?
Me: I think the real question is: how much will you pay me if I can make "Hello World!" pop up on the console?

Fun Story: My first official project was related to system files security. In first meeting project manager was talking about Macros and OLE i had no idea what the heck he was saying.just kept noding
Took us 2 months to complete the project now it has been deployed and working perfectly
Told my manager about this during final one on one meeting and he couldnt believe me,he still laughs about it everytime we meet

I can't believe how many videos I see of some shell/terminal wizard typing in 'clear'..
*CTRL -L

I don't know how others feel about this but every time, when the fan are spinning at full speed as you turn on the routers and they are in boot sequence.the stat lights on switch turning on/off in wave patterns
I'm like:
prepare to take off,
Initiate Countdown,
Take off in;T minus 30 second.

When your boss is too cheap to upgrade the server your data warehouse is on. 8GB of RAM is not enough when you're regularly querying for 1m+ rows.

Unifi switches are so fucking bad.
For the third of fifth time it activated spanning tree by itself, causing alot of shit to go down.

It is only a expensive shelf from now on, fucking crap

Written coding test, first question :

Form the minimum spanning tree of the given graph using Kruskals algorithm.

Plot twist : No weights given. Assume unweighted graph

Building RR for my device from 2013 with excellent support still. (Xperia SP).
Damn I think I never saw easier build.
No errors on first try.
Just edited devote tree to work with RR and boom working ROM.
But that is only because of one of the best devs at XDA since he is supporting this device in LineageOS.

On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A drunk who drove into a tree

On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me

Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree....

Twelve beaten children
Eleven drive-by shootings
Ten frozen homeless
Nine amputations
Eight burn victims
Seven strangled shoppers
Six random knifings
Five suicides
Four beaten wives
Three O.D.'s
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree

Smashing on the keyboard
with 3 screens infront of my face
i spot a nasty bug,
In one of the features someone else made,
I called their office for aid,
But found no one is there to be
Of any aid to my sorry ass,
Now i have to debug the whole thing,
Oh,
Documenting code
Documenting code
Why didnt you document the damn thing
At least tell me you left some comments
To help debug thy algo tree
Oh ...

:'(

Share your look-busy scripts

I'm talking about some script, or command(s) which output impressive garbage to the screen. For instance, `tree / | od` or `ping google.ca | xxd` might be enough to dazzle an executive, but to really ensnare a fellow dev, you need to get a bit more complex.

So let's see those scripts! From stupid simple, to application-level complex, I wanna see 'em all! :D

Me: *suggests an architectural input to something that would have taken care of a lot of shit in our project*

Lead Dev: *doesn't completely try to understand what I suggested* I don't know if this would work, it seems a "bit weird"(really?). I think we need to rethink our current architecture. *Moves on to redesign everything from the base up and asks us to adopt so we go on and delete a lot of the existing code and basically rewrite everything*

- 10 days later
Lead Dev: *sees the same old issues with using the new architecture and suggests the same approach that I had suggested earlier, only this time he came up with it and it's a brand new idea*
Me: WTF! *Screams into oblivion*

Whichever fucking cunt at Wordpress came up with that filthy Walker class and how a navigation item tree should be traversed, shall be hanged to death.
How fucking brainless can one be to create such a complete pile of donkey turds?!
No wonder Wordpress itself makes no sense at all nor has it any connection to any intelligent lifeform whatsoever.

Edit: This rant does not even closely show how high my fucking rage-level is!

React devtools in Firefox is such a pile of shit! It's slow, it hangs when selecting and it doesn't fucking show the whole component tree when it's too deep. I'm forced to switch to Chrome when I need to debug.

Anyone here has problems with it too?

I run "Maltego" and impress everyone when whole tree gets generated by email/username. 😎

Documentation can make your dev work fun

Last night my Kindle got frozen and failed to respond to the touches, so I hard reseted it by physical power button. After a dozen of minutes of unresponsiveness, it finally restarted. Some light of hope sparked in me when I could see the silhouette of the lovely boy sitting under a tree, and soon enough the starting progress bar appeared and just stopped right before its end. I kept restarting the device over and over again and the starting progress bar has never reached its dest. The mtfk boy sitting under the tree grew up and becomes a douchebag, and still I can't do a thing with my Kindle. I had nothing to do with it now, and in a moment of having nothing to do, I put it out of its case, and even made a big scratch in the top left corner. Just want to smash it right away!

Binary Tree

I fucking hate it when big companies release a video with the new tech they developed and they jerk off about the great discovery they made in video format.

I mean, they usually are great discoveries but the "verborragia" (a spanish portmanteau between verb and haemorrhage) is unsufferable.

I'm feeling this way specifically about the microsoft videos. "Just get to the goddamn fucking point. What did you fucking develop exactly?"

They usually go like this:

(Play sad reverbed piano)
Trees are life. Have you ever been a tree? Everyday thousands of trees are being torn apart from their daddy trees. When a tree is removed to be processed into paper, dozens of pretty little dwarves go homeless.

That's why at Microdick we are working on one of the most trascendental advancements of the 21st century.

We are working really hard to take into account every aspect of environmentability to bring humanity closer to what it is to feel like a tree.

We are pushing forward what it means to be a tech company today and we are finding new creative ways to inflate our ego, as a way to pretend we're not dying like the rest of normal human beings.

I've finally started playing a MUD game in my spare time. I gotta say, it's kinda awesome. And, BONUS: it looks like I'm actually working since the interface is just a text terminal.

Not being able to write code only using pen and paper :/
I had one job interview where they ask me to iterate a tree using my preferred language. I felt so uncomfortable.
And my problem is only the pen and paper.
I'm able to write working code without any code completion even without highlighting in any shitty editor. But when it comes to write code by hand on paper it feels like my programmer brain side turns off.

worked for two month on a automatic sms system.
today boss says: ''yeah we dont need that''
... im just gonna find the nearest tree and hang my self.

Christmas Day and the Nintendo server is slow .... hmmm , I wonder what everybody unwrapped under the tree!

@wowotek : "I am not person who like to mumble"
--3 Hours Later found an Unhandled Exception in 17th layer of his decision tree--
Also @wowotek : "^[a-zA-Z]*!!!!!!!$"

He work beside me, never tired of this, but a bit annoying sometimes

One hour before demo.
clone,compile and run.
Guess what..?
Most of the key module aren't working
Guess why..?
I forgot to push final changes to git (after pulling an all nighter)

I hate it that I'm still forced to use Ubuntu 16.04 and can't upgrade to bionic beaver.tried it on vm (for testing)loved new features and default gnome interface but even after switching to xorg most of my tool were still not running properly or crashing, most important factor is that there is still no official cuda support and installing gcc g++ 6 and symlinks are nerve racking. On top of that upgrading to 18.04 LTS on my main machine will leave me with broken packages and dependencies.

p.s. for people who are going to reply saying that these issue can be solved. Please try updating your work machine and spend hours fix these issues

Fucking Windows Servers, I just wanted to set a login timeout of a few minutes after several unsuccessful login attempts.

(Windows Active Directory for Domains and shit is installed - just an FYI (otherwise this would be slightly easier))

Steps:
- Go to Group Policy Management
- Navigate to your domain in a policy tree
- Right click "default policies" and select edit in the right click dropdown.
(Why not just fucking double click and edit it them in the convenient right-side window? Because fuck you!)
- Navigate another god damn policy tree
(And it's not obvious, it's under Windows Settings... Ok that makes sense, but there are so many nests.. Fuck me)
- And only now can you edit the "Account lockout duration" field

Windows Servers are a pain.. This actually isn't completely horrible, but it gets really annoying, because literally everything here is hidden in weird places behind thousands of click navigations and in between that there's some shit sandwhich UX.

Thanks for the stickers!

Found a good looking christmas tree while derping around Phabricator's (Arcanist) git history.

I'm very frustrated at my job. Nobody gives a shit to work and don't have technical knowledge. My colleague keeps on battering the peers. And colleagues are discussing everything without me.
So trying to switch company but no luck in a year. And I have stopped working at my job. Gives me serious anxiety.

"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

This is good to remember this one once in a while...

Prepared for one of the best start ups around me. Able to make it in my second chance. Answered some of the most difficult questions asked in the interviews.
Now when it's about the salary, they are giving me a nominal hike.
I mean seriously, my days and nights for this.
Height of frustration when I'm trying to switch for a year now.

Spent like 5 hours today installing, configuring, and playing with phpstorm. first time I've used a real ide type program and wow, I replaced 5 programs with this I would use at the same time.

filezilla (ftp), rapidphp (code), mysql workbench, cmd prompt (node, gulp, sass), and source tree (git)

A HTML Tree Compiler?

I am wondering how a #FunctionalProgramming based implementation of a Binary Search Tree would look like?

Has anyone tried it?

Confession: Sometimes when I need a minute break and someone is looking at my screen I run 'tree /'

Trust me this is not a coincident.... And only two people in the whole department know what this monster really did. Thank god i never had a professor like him.