Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.

Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.

Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)

Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).

These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.

Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".

The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.

What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?

Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.

Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.

But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.

So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.

On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.

In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.

This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.

Don't be this guy 😂

Preparing for a coding interview at a startup and then you see stuff like this online smh.

Help..

Coding has turned me into a nocturnal weirdo who talks to rubber ducks more than human beings.

You are lonely because ->
You don't have a partner because ->
You are a nocturnal person because ->
Night might be the best time for development because ->
You are too much obsessed with programming because ->
You are lonely because ->
...

I decide to come by scooter and the weather goes crazy!

Weather predictions are "Heavy rain to very heavy rain" for the next few hours!

Fortunately, I have a work-all-night-take-next-day-off policy (which my manager frowns upon but is cool with!)

So, code-mode ON! 😎

Past few weeks, I have started to work late night and sleep whole day. I go to office at around 7pm and returns back next day 8-9am. I found it super productive.
But, my manager wasn't happy about it and now, she shifted daily scrum at 1 PM and emailed me to make sure I attend it daily.
Now, I have to fix my sleeping cycle... Nights are so great to work. Silent and nobody around.
Now, from tomorrow, I got a new challenge everyday to make it to scrum daily.

For every developer, who lives a nocturnal life.. the toughest job is baby sitting for a week..
At least for me.. Already missing the 3 AM idea cracks and coding..
Waking up at 6am is not my cup of tea and getting the kids ready for school.. I would rather prefer to work all night...
Another 3 days to go...

I've been working late nights for so long that falling asleep when it's still dark is an achievement for me. So is waking up when it's still morning.

Why do theoretical computer science and maths lectures mostly start at 8 am. I am a nocturnal creature to me is like having to wake up at 3 am for others. There are other kinds of people that like to get up early so here is a suggestion: Why don't we agree that all lectures start at 11:00 earliest? It is a good time in the day for a lot of people and I would have the time to inject myself with some Mate tea.

mom : i don't understand why my son became a nocturnal being..

father : son .. what the hell do you do entire night alone in your room with your lappy .. go get a gf or get married .. go get a life

relatives : beta (son in indian lang) my tv is not working can you fix it.. beta my internet is not working on my mobile (goddamnit turn on the mobile data for fuck sake )

When/how do nocturnal people interact with other people and get into a relationship?

It feels so lonely here.

My inner nocturnal self strikes again it's currently 1am, the alarm is set to 5am

Are you the nocturnal developer who lives on red bull and chips or the luxury developer who works in a beautiful light office and is a vegetarian?

4 a.m. I got a nocturnal leg cramp so bad that I had to reinstall this app. Fuck forced homeoffice.

Software Engineer
Nerdious Geekius

The elusive Software Engineer is a nocturnal creature, rarely found at their desks before 10 or 11 in the morning, but often staying late into the night. They dislike being interrupted while at work, and it theorized that their penchant for twilight hours is an evolutionary adaptation to reduce breaks in their trance like state of coding.

Not surprisingly, Software Engineers are solitary creatures, except for occasional gatherings called "code reviews". In these gatherings, engineers gently pace around a clearing, sizing up each others work. Although occasional battles will erupt, they mostly end without injury and the engineer will retreat to their desk and continue to hibernate.

Fun Fact: Software Engineers have been know to kill each other in brutal fights over identation styles

Watched westworld. Signs up for a bunch of AI classes.

My Stunt of the day:
People say avoid deployment on Fridays.
I strictly followed it and being a nocturnal creature, just pushed my code to Prod and it's Saturday early morning.
Deployment taking forever. Gonna sleep now.
I hope nothing goes down.

my neighbor decided to breakdown all walls in their apartment. Like, seriously, all of them, so I've gotta hear hardcore construction sounds from 8am till 5pm, everyday...
So now I'm waking up at 4pm and going to bed 7am. That way, since I can sleep thru a zombie apocalypse itself, I avoid that torture.

I'm not someone who holds grudges, but I am leaving a speaker blasting whitenoise during my sleep time. That way, I can make sure the motherfuckers go thru at least some of the discomforts I'm went before I managed to go nocturnal

I am an ancient beast called "Humturnal".
..half human..half nocturnal..

I answer life problem and code like a beast at night.
I wake up tired as f**k and I remember nothing in the morning.

Ever tried explaining software development to your grandma? It's like narrating a sci-fi movie to someone who only watches period dramas. "Can you fix my computer?" they ask, as if coding automatically qualifies me for IT support. And those midnight meetings? It's like they think engineers are nocturnal creatures powered by coffee and keyboard clicks.

Pick up work that lets me get some experience in Product Management and Client Requirements rather than just being a nocturnal cave dweller who only codes.

All to get me one step closer to knowing how to run my own business when hopefully the time comes a few years down the line.