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Client: "Dear Mr. I still have not received the final version yet. I had planned to send it out to my customers at the end of the week."
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Me (1st answer I did not give):
"Ok. I accept your statement as true, since I did not send you anything. Furthermore I respect your wish."
Me (2nd answer I did not give):
"Well I am sorry. Before today you did not once mention that there was a deadline. ASAP is not how I do things. Please do your project management."
Me (answer I gave): "Dear Client, due to a huge demand for our services we are forced to prioritise. We are doing our best to complete the project as fast as possible. Please understand however that we can not reschedule with 3 days notice. Because of technical requirements the product can be send on Friday next week. Please let us know if this works out for you. - Kind regards. Me. "
-__-""""4 -
A new producer started to pick up where the previous guy had rage quit. He looked at our sprint plan and announced it.
"According to this schedule, by these estimates, to hit our goal we have to somehow all work 27 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next month."2 -
Biggest teamwork fail? This is the general way we do business where I work right now:
My boss didn’t want to be the kind who hovers, always micromanaging. He also hates the idea of taking programmers away from their work for meetings. Sounds great, right? This has resulted in:
• All non-lead devs being excluded from all meetings other than scrum (including sprint planning and review meetings). Nobody ever knows what the hell is going on. They don’t think we “need to know.” This means most of our day is spent trying to figure out what needs to be done, rather than getting anything done.
• Our remote boss making dozens of important decisions about our platform, never telling us, and blaming us for not forcing our lead to be more communicative.
• Pull requests staying open for weeks, sometimes months, because nobody has definitively decided what version we’re actually supposed to be working on. This means our base branch could be any of them, and it means PRs that have been opened too long need to be closed, updated, and re-opened on the false promise of someone actually looking at it.
Just ranting here... but I think our biggest teamwork fail is happening right now, with all of those things ^3 -
No I don't know the specs for the project, why I hear you ask? Because instead of a bloody quote and planning this project was planned in a fucking email chain...2
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The story of a normal release:
- tool gets tested "intensely" by 3 ppl quite a long time - everything works
- a major 2 days reserved as maintenance window for even more testing
- release starts
- first the admin panel of the server suddenly is not accessible anymore
- after some problems the tool is deployed
- suddenly servers are down and not pingable anymore - off on off on (provider has major problems .. good job)
- ppl start testing
- testers report lots and lots of new bugs - seems like the testing wasn't that intense after all...
- people start coming with lots of new requirements (oh we need to import those excels.. excels don't match our internal stuff.. )
- confusion over confusion
- getting pissed of a lot...
- quit caring and focus on another project
- profit
Fuck my life -
I have a lot to say..
In my project theres a design department, since the beginning of the project they didn't want to be part of the scrum methodology..(they used to work waterfall..)
So.. they have a disorder on the user history needs, and they argue for every request that we need to finish the history..
They dont go to the plannings, dailys.. they dont know shiet!
And meanwhile telling u this rant im getting mad as fuck..
so at this point i cant even explain how FUCKING UPSET I AM & WHY THE FUCK people reject the change and decides to work by their own! fuck this!
anyways ill share 2 storys ( i have a lot..)
1. "Raise your hand if you dont know whats a button?"
So we created a standard button to be re used it in other forms..
The designer came late to the planning, and decided to change the button layout (again x4) & it's behavior, so he wanted "the button disabled, but not disabled", since he wasnt able to explain it as well, he got upset.. and said that we didn't know about how a button works & asked the public to raise up the hand who didnt know what is a button.. and we were like :
dude are u fucking serius?.. u cant even explain what the fuck u want, u came late, and know u act like if you teach about ux & design? fucking rockstars..
2. "why do you call me to the planning if you don't need anything from me?"
We ask and required the designer to be in the plannings to avoid the disorder and the delivery delays..
that day we didn't require anything from the designer, so he started complaining that we called him for no reason..
me : dude, d u even realize why is this meeting called planning? -
Do you guys still see the relevance of using code freezing instead of just properly managing versions, repositories and branches in a cyclical manner, given how advanced software practices and tools are supposed to be?
To give some context, the company I work for uses the complete trash project management practice of asking teams to work on a sprint basis, but there is still a quarterly milestone and code freeze to commit to and it's where shit hits the fan.
Development teams rush features at the end of the quarter because they had to commit at the very least to a 6 months in advance planning (lol?) and turns out, not being able to design and investigate properly a feature combined with inflexible timelines has high chances to fail. So in the end, features are half-assed and QA has barely any time to test it out thoroughly. Anyways, by the time QA raises some concerns about a few major bugs, it's already code freeze time. But it's cool, we will just include these bug fixes and some new features in the following patches. Some real good symver, mate!
Of course, it sure does not help that teams stopped using submodules because git is too hard apparently, so we are stuck with +10Gb piece of trash monolithic repository and it's hell to manage, especially when fuckfaces merges untested code on the main branches. I can't blame Devops for ragequitting if they do.
To me, it's just some management bullshit and the whole process, IMO, belongs to fucking trash along with a few project managers... but I could always be wrong given my limited insight.
Anyways, I just wanted to discuss this subject because so far I cannot see code freezing being anything else than an outdated waterfall practice to appease investors and high management on timelines.8 -
me vs my job at mnc laggard part 9/n . previous @ https://devrant.com/rants/6602068/...
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I think i have now realised why working at corporate MNC sucks: they are reluctant to make a good product for their end users.
- they first come up with feature without a proper planning and research.
- then they are in a rush to release it to live audience by ignoring the possible issues that could arise
- when they see it fail, they are like, okay with that and blame it as a failed experiment
- instead of removing/disabling it, they are okay to keep it remain alive in the app, even if it causes customer inconveneience.
- meanwhile, they put false reports for their higher managers as a success and when an enhancement/modification comes for that feature from the higher up, they again start the loop by pushing a new feature without proper planning and a rush
as a dev, it fuckin kills me. I joined in the middle of one of these ugly loops. The app has a camera feature where the camera will generate voices to take pictures and record video , like "goto next car view" , "close the bonnet and focus", etc while the user follows instructions.
the ticket for me was to just add a flash button to this camera. But the more i dive into it, the more i hate it:
- the existing camera implementation provides api for toggling a camera flash, but when i attached it with a ui button, it would not work
- the existing implementation will send images /videos as direct payload data, resulting in generating very large payload curls . our app has a curl logger and it starts crashing.
- the existing implementation also crashes at uploading videos.
So where does it trouble me?well, I have a ticket to add just a fucking button, but i will have to replace the whole camera module and start from scratch. also the crash causing loggers will need some workarounds, otherwise i could not check the apis. and my manager will be like "why are you taking so long to add a flashlight?" and i would be like "coz i wanna put this flashlight up your -2 -
"being gifted is a curse. You are f*cling crippled, you believed you were gifted, but you have been crippled the whole time."
I never could agree more to these words (healthyGamerGg, a youtube therapist specialized in people with issues related to videogames)
If you read my last rant you may in fact know i have a lot of issues with the implications of our jobs and truth be told, it all boils down to my iq.
Or better: to the fact i have a decent skill for abstracting stuff (iq is so freaking generic)... It can be a blessing while solving issues, but it feels awful when you realize that no matter the amount of money, you will still need something else to be happy the first day of work.
Sometimes I really wonder if I am an a-hole, stupid or if i think these 2 things to deny the fact my reasoning is correct.
On a side note table top games are very easy to enjoy: as soon as I sit at the table my brain goes: "the game is gonna be very boring if you play normally, at the best you are gonna learn a new strat, at the worst you are winning and it'll be just an ego jerk off... What if you play stuff you feel like to play and enjoy the ride and the conversation without planning to win?"
Except cards against humanity and yogi. Those two must be won!
(Yogi is a game where you play cards which give you restrictions e.g: "keep an index on the tip of the nose for the rest of the game" or "place this card on your head for the rest of the game" you lose as soon as you fail any of the cards you played or if you declare you can't draw)4
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