Haven't we all faced this?
#projectmanager

Client: "Dear Mr. I still have not received the final version yet. I had planned to send it out to my customers at the end of the week."
-------

Me (1st answer I did not give):
"Ok. I accept your statement as true, since I did not send you anything. Furthermore I respect your wish."

Me (2nd answer I did not give):
"Well I am sorry. Before today you did not once mention that there was a deadline. ASAP is not how I do things. Please do your project management."

Me (answer I gave): "Dear Client, due to a huge demand for our services we are forced to prioritise. We are doing our best to complete the project as fast as possible. Please understand however that we can not reschedule with 3 days notice. Because of technical requirements the product can be send on Friday next week. Please let us know if this works out for you. - Kind regards. Me. "

-__-""""

My face when the CEO want's all the features and the project on time without extra resources.

I don't get why certain people always complain about the OS they have to use at work... I get, that as a person who really uses aspects of the OS like a sysadmin or something like that, has valid points... but no... as a projectmanager or productmanager, whos tools are all browserbased... "in Windows I know where all the things are..." is not a valid excuse to hate on the OS...

What do you want to do? Change system settings everyday? Use PowerShell to create your Jira tickets?

I have had it with the new pm for my project. We've had to literally write down rules for him to follow on how we want to run our project.
- we always go over time on standup because he's asking everyone specific questions about each ticket we're working on instead of just letting us give our updates. Wrote a rule for not doing that.
- he gets overly excited to get things done to the point that he's approved a PR himself and merged a production release during off hours.
- we're a team of 3 devs but he has 7 big items he wants us to work on concurrently.
- we use jira to keep track of things but he insists on us updating a spread sheet that he made as well. We just straight up told him no but he'll bring it 3 times every week.
- he wants us to write a report of our daily progress in our jira ticket before we give the same updates on standup
- every time I give him an estimate, he tells the clients it's a promise we'll get it done by x date.
- he never pushes back and says yes to everything
- oh here's a funny one, he's "reviewed" my code several times

Idk what to do here anymore. We've literally talked to him about all of these issues. He'll change for a few days and go back to doing whatever he does.

My companies org is in a serious state of disrepair when it comes to project management.

Everything is tracked via conference. Each level of management (CTO, EVP, SVP, BP, S DIRECTOR, DIRECTOR, S MANAGER, MANAGER) all have a different tracking page that all say slightly different things.

To organize things there's a technical project manager who isn't just new to the team, he's new to the field. He's not technical, or experienced in project management. He's never worked within a scrum before.

He's dictating how to organize the teams scrum, and he's getting it very wrong. Decided to organize efforts in all the confluence pages by creating another one for him, again it's different.

When the work in confluence page 3/16 isn't done by a due date anybody knew about, the engineers have to hop on a call and get a Micky mouse solution out the door by the of day so upper management doesn't think the projects off the rails.

In the mean time I've taken a small group of more junior devs and shielding them. We have a side scrum that we manage and is going great, and I'm blocking the BS.

CORPORATE SUCKS. Golden handcuffs are a thing. I might set sail for greener pastures once i don't have to pay back my signing bonus if I leave.

I had a half our discussion the other day with a projectmanager about the menu. He wanted to have both inpage anchor links as well as normal links in the main navigation. I found it completely stupid and didn’t get why you would want this. It’s totally unexpected behaviour from a users perspective and tried for 30 minutes to convince him of his stupidity.

Afterwards i gave in, sure, i’ll make it your stupid way. The actual pages that are there now won’t be visible anymore but if this is what you reallllllly want: sure.

Yesterday he came with a remark: the pages that used to be there can’t be reached anymore.

Always trust your developer

Customer: The quality of the software you’re delivering is going down
Me: That’s because we’re developers, support, and spend all day on meetings without mentioning that deadlines are defined by you, not the technical team
Project Manager: I have added more members to the team so you can deliver faster
Me: That’s just slowing us down because this inherited code is shit, there’s no documentation and we’re always in a rush, without time for a proper ramp up
Customer: *throws money to our faces* I’ll remove two weeks to this delivery so we can test it better
Me: …

This illustrates me perfectly, at that moment when i found that the project manager scrapped my updated lines in the deploy.

First post yay!
I'm a "tech" lead for my team. The "tech" stands for technically, I can go on a whole different rant there but that's not why we're here today.
So we have a new PM on our side and a new PM on the client side. I've been working on this project longer than any of the devs and PMs have.
One of the tasks that my team does is validate and ingest data. It's pretty straightforward and it's fully automated. It takes minutes, and at most an hour, to complete this task. We get these tasks from users randomly and they don't have any schedule to it. It's FIFO basis and we just add it to our current sprint if we have bandwidth or add it to the next one if we don't. Not a big deal, no users have complained about it before, it's just business as usual. And we have a tracker of when we received it, how big it was and when it's been ingested. Super simple.
So now comes in the new client PM. He's been asking us to come up with timelines for these ingestions. My project's new PM is bending over to him and saying okay we'll come up with it, no problem. Well, there is a problem. We don't know that far in advance for when these tasks are coming in. Even if we did, now we're supposed to create timelines for a 10 min task? It literally is uploading a file and our system handles everything and I've explained that to my pm but he still is like well that's what they want. It takes less effort to do the ingestion than to make these timelines. It just means project managers bothering devs about timelines.
Idk how to deal with this. Thoughts? Any similar experiences?

How I feel after solving multiple issues for a week
from a none documented project

I’ve been working in a toxic environment for the past 1.5 years and realized that I’m actually going to have a tough time finding a job outside because my coding skills has gone to rust (been delegated to mostly support role in a startup, almost IT support or project mgmt).

I recently did an interview for a C++ gig and was rejected due to not being sufficient enough.

I’m actually really feeling defeated. It almost feels like I’ve falling into a trap I can’t get out of. I could use some advice

I’m goin nuts here. I’m trying to build a website and everytime i think i’m finished the designer adds a little change or an extra page. Meanwhile projectmanager is asking if we can finish asap. Fuuuuuckofffff

Old but gold.

"Project manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month."
"Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby."

A project manager broke down and started crying because she was told there’d be an onboarding meeting with the client. Another guy had to step in, because she didn’t stop crying.

Is this real life?

Our new project manager is super cringe. It's made daily stands just horrible. It turns out he's come schooled. Oh man ... that explains so much.

Couple of years ago i was working on a custom webshop with a third party designer and a manager. The manager didnt do his job right in my eyes. Didn't have overview of the tasks and was way too busy/lazy/stressed whatever.

Eventually i could go figure things out with the designer myself because he wanted some crazy menu structure.

So crazy i knew for sure that the usability wouldn't come to good.

Eventually deadline was past due and the projectmanager got me fired.

While back the brand i made the shop for went bankrupt.

What comes around gets around eventually.

PM: How much time do you need for this feature?
Me: 15 days
PM: Ok, I give you 12
...
FML

while(projectManager === isAlive) {

me.work();

(!isAlive) ? new.projectManager : me.keepWorking();

}

Anyone knows a good CRM/project manager for a 2-3 people company? I have like 30 trials accounts at all the big ones but they focus on bigger companies. We just want the basics and a nice API.

How fucked up is fucked up? Part (2)

What's the worst Project manager you had worked for?

Who inside BitTitan is doing live testing on production? Would you kindly revert the changes and do testing on a test environment? I've seen the 4 changes so far and they clearly not working.
Please we need to finish this migration