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So i've been a dev manager for a little while now. Thought i'd take some time to disambiguate some job titles to let everyone know what they might be in for when joining / moving around a big org.
Title: Senior Software Engineer
Background:
- Technical
- Clever
- Typically has years experience building what management are trying to build
Responsibilities:
- Building new features
- Writing code
- Code review
- Offering advice to product manag......OH NO YOU DON'T CODE MONKEY, BACK TO WORK!
Title: Dev Manager
Background:
- Technical
- Former/current programmer
- knows his/her way around a codebase.
Responsibilities:
- Recruiting / interviewing new staff
- Keeping the team focused and delivering tasks
- Architecture decisions
- Lying about complexity of architecture decisions to ensure team gets the actual time they need
- Lying about feature estimations to ensure team gets to work on critical technical improvements that were cancelled / de-prioritised
- Explaining to hire-ups why we can't "Just do it quicker"
- Explaining to senior engineers why the product manager declined their meeting request
Title: Product / Product Manager
Background:
- Nothing relevant to the industry or product line what so ever
- Found the correct building on the day of the interview
- Has once opened an Excel spreadsheet and successfully saved it to a desktop
Responsibilities:
- Making every key decision about every feature available in the app
- Learning to ignore that inner voice we like to call "Common sense"
- Making sure to not accidentally take some advice from technical staff
- Raising the blood pressure of everyone below them / working with them
Title: Program Lead / Product Owner
Background:
- Capable of speech
- Aware of what a computer is (optional)
Responsibilities:
- Sitting down
- Talking
- Clicking random buttons on Jira
- Making bullet point lists
Title: Director of Software Engineering
Background:
- Allegedly attended college/university to study computer science
- Similar to a technical product manager (technical optional)
Responsibilities:
- Reports directly to VP
- Fixes problems by creating a different problem somewhere else as a distraction
- Claiming to understand and green light technical decisions, while having already agreed with product that it will never happen9 -
Oh man. Mine are the REASON why people dislike PHP.
Biggest Concern: Intranet application for 3 staff members that allows them to set the admin data for an application that our userbase utilizes. Everything was fucking horrible, 300+ php files of spaghetti that did not escape user input, did not handle proper redirects, bad algo big O shit and then some. My pain point? I was testing some functionality when upon clicking 3 random check boxes you would get an error message that reads something like this "hi <SENSITIVE USERNAME DATA> you are attempting to use <SERVER IP ADDRESS> using <PASSWORD> but something went wrong! Call <OLD DEVELOPER's PHONE NUMBER> to provide him this <ERROR CODE>"
I panicked, closed that shit and rewrote it in an afternoon, that fucking retard had a tendency to use over 400 files of php for the simplest of fucking things.
Another one, that still baffles me and the other dev (an employee that has been there since the dawn of time) we have this massive application that we just can't rewrite due to time constraints. there is one file with (shit you not) a php include function that when you reach the file it is including it is just......a php closing tag. Removing it breaks down the application. This one is over 6000 files (I know) and we cannot understand what in the love of Lerdorf and baby Torvalds is happening.
From a previous job we had this massive in-house Javascript "framework" for ajax shit that for whatever reason unknown to me had a bunch of function and object names prefixed with "hotDog<rest of the function name>", this was used by two applications. One still in classic ASP and the other in php version 4.something
Legacy apps written in Apache Velocity, which in itself is not that bad, but I, even as a PHP developer, do not EVER mix views with logic. I like my shit separated AF thank you very much.
A large mobile application that interfaced with fucking everything via webviews. Shit was absolutley fucking disgusting, and I felt we were cheating our users.
A rails app with 1000 controller methods.
An express app with 1000 router methods with callbacks instead of async await even though async await was already a thing.
ultraFuckingLarge Delphi project with really no consideration for best practices. I, to this day enjoy Object Pascal, but the way in which people do delphi can scare me.
ASP.NET Application in wich there seemed to be a large portion of bolted in self made ioc framework from the lead dev, absolute shitfest, homie refused to use an actual ioc framework for it, they did pay the price after I left.
My own projects when I have to maintain them.9 -
a small local social network i made around 2008 as a replacement for the original which the owner closed down.
i missed the people from there, so it motivated me to make a replacement in a week, while learning html+php+mysql+js.
it worked for about 3 years and i redid it from scratch 3 times as i gradually learned more.
it was cool to be basically a host of a community i've come to like in the years before, and it was basically the only project i felt, really felt, had meaning, a point. people were grateful that i made a replacement for the original closed-down site, and i was grateful that they were using it and that i could keep talking to all of them on it.
at the height of its popularity it had about 1500 registered accounts, 150 daily logged in ones, and about 30-40 very active ones.
it was also the place where i went to implement all the cool stuff i learned and came up with.
it had a pretty cool questionnaire creator (originally just a test of how deppressed users are, but then i thought "why not let people make their own tests/questionnaires?"), which tracked people's results over time and showed them on a cool interactive flash-based chart.
also a whole forum system made from scratch, wysiwyg article editor, later seamlessly integrated admin controls for those who had privileges, like, not a separate admin ui, but the admin buttons right on the site, later even a realtime chat persistent across page reloads where you could put special links which, on click, would highlight site elements/buttons, or even complete step-by-step path to them if it was more clicks. would highlight the first step, after clicking would then highlight the second one, and so on...
it was pretty cool stuff for 2008, and afaik it basically landed me my first two full-time jobs with almost no actual job interview, basically just "we looked at the site, interesting stuff, tell us how you did x and y and z on it, okay, hired"
back then i kinda felt i have a bright future ahead of me =D1 -
I took a Computer ethics class some time ago, and at some point, we talked about honesty in Computer Science.
There was one thing that bothered me that we never had the chance to touch on, but how do I know that the button I'm clicking is doing what I want it to do?
I mean seriously there is really nothing that is stopping someone from making fake buttons that pretend to do what they say they are doing. I might be uninstalling something on my computer, but can I "really" trust that the software was "completely" removed?
As a developer I always strive for honesty, but that doesn't mean other people are.
How do you guys deal with this?13 -
this just happened a few seconds ago and I am just laughing at the pathetic site that is Facebook. xD
4 years ago:
So I was quite a noobie gamer/hacker(sort of) back then and i had a habit of having multiple gmail/fb accounts, just for gaming, like accounts through which i can log in all at once in the same poker room, so 4/5 players in the game are me, or just some multiple accounts for clash of clans for donations.
I had 7-8 accounts back then. one had a name that translated to "may the dead remain in peace "@yahoomail.com . it was linked to fb using same initials. after sometime only this and 2 of my main accs were all i cared about.even today when i feel like playing, i sometimes use those accs.
2 years ago.
My dad is a simple man and was quite naive to modern techs and used to hang around with physical button nokia phones.But we had a business change, my father was now in a partnership in a restaurant where his daily work included a lot of sitting job and and casual working. So he bought a smartphone for some time pass.
He now wanted to download apps and me to teach him.I tried a lot to get him his own acc, but he couldn't remember his login credentials.
so at the end i added one of my own fake ID's(maythedead...) so he could install from playstore, watch vids on youtube and whatever.
The Actual Adventure starts now
Today, 1 hour ago:
I had completely forgot about this incident, since my parents are now quite modern in terms of tech.
But today out of nowhere i recieved an email that someone has JUST CHAINGED MY FB PASSWORD FOR ONE OF MY FAKE ACCS!?!??
what the hell, i know it was just a useless acc and i never even check my fb from any acc these days, but if someone could login into that acc, its not very difficult to track my main accs, id's, etc so i immediately opened this fb security portal and that's where the stupidity starts:
1)To recover your account they FUCKIN ASKS FOR A PHYSICAL ID. yeah, no email, no security question you have to scan your driving license or passport to get back to your account.And where would I get a license for some person named "may the dead remain in peace"? i simply went back.
2) tried another hack that i thought that will work.Closed fb help page, opened fb again , tried to login with my old credentials, it says" old password has been changed,please enter new password", i click forget password and they send an otp. i thought yes i won, because the number and recover mail id was mine only so i received it.
when i added the otp, i was first sent to a password change page (woohoo, i really won! :)) but then it sends me again to the same fuckin physical id verification page.FFFFFFFFFuck
3)I was sad and terrified that i got hacked.But 10 mins later a mail comes ,"Your Facebook password was reset using the email address on Tuesday, April 10, 2018 at 8:24pm (UTC+05:30)."
I tried clicking the links attached, hoping that the password i changed(point<2>) has actually done something to account.NADA, the account still needs a physical license to open:/
4) lost, i just login to my main account and lookup for my lost fake account. the fun part:my account has the display pic of my father?!!?!
So apparently, my father wanted to try facebook, he used the fake account i gave him to create one, fb showed him that this id already has an fb account attached to it and he accidently changed my password.MY FATHER WAS THE HACKER THE WHOLE TIME xD.
but response from fb?" well sir, if you want your virtually shitty account back , you first will have to provide us with all details of your bank transactions or your voter id card, maybe trump will like it"
-
So today, me, the pacifistic "linux is not THAT great"-guy, was like well let's try ubuntu 17.10 (cus in the end i want a reliable os with no to less maintenance).
So i installed it next to my loved windows.
Clicking a link seems to have an hard coded delay of about 3-5 seconds until the pages actually start loading in ff on linux, so i was like maybe it's because there is a wall between me and my router..
Went into the other room.
I have one bar WLAN strength. I stand next to my router. What the fuck.
Hmm, could be sth else, let's don't be an asshole and blame linux, let's check windows. Full wlan, full speed, all good.
So my point is proven: you want to fiddle around a bit, do some coding with serial-connected devices, want a shell that actually is usable and you like to procrastinate by doing some random maintenance? choose linux.
If you need to be productive with other things, use windows.4 -
_FUCKING_ damn... I just struggled for well over an hour because some icons on my site were displaying different colors in my browser than when viewed otherwise. They're simple icon outlines which should be #111111, but in the browser after checking with a color picker (they were clearly off) the color was #181818.
Turns out it's got something to do with the way gimp exports the png (I think, still not 100% sure sadly). My guess atm: in the export settings the "Save color profile" option was enabled (not sure why, could be I did that at some point). After clicking "Load Defaults" the option is disabled, and after another export the colors look good.
Time wasted :( Feels good to have it fixed though. Does anyone know more about what "Save color profile" does and if that could be the cause of this?
2 -
Clicks "Save" button....
Yes, that was the point of clicking the save button, to discard my changes...
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markdown is not good enough! the tools aren't there for non-devs and there's no concordance on moving forward *compatibly* for anything other than headers and __possibly__ lists.
md has been around for years and still no consensus on comments, meta data, css, data imports, etc.
i could never in good faith recommend to a non-dev to use markdown, even though every academic and professional writer from legal to journalism should exclusively be using markdown to write and store their documents. the data portability and ease of search, retrieval, collection, distribution, etc of markdown compared to pdf or docx is enormous. markdown is the hex format of text, the perfect layer of data and visual so that the user and the computer can both operate on text as blocks of data rather than weirdly styled paragraphs that need to be reformatted BY HAND for citation-style or journal format, or paper size. FOR EACH SUBMISSION. Academics literally rewrite their 100-page papers to accommodate up to 10 different submission requirements.
They could be clicking MLA vs Chicago and/or using a journal's stylesheet to recompile for its styles.
Today there is some support from zotero et al to take away some of the pain, but it makes ZERO SENSE for writers to have to keep and store and keep up to date, multiple versions of the same document. Git pull does not exist for them. But the worst part is that git isnt the solution to their problem. They need a compiler more than they need version control. But they also desperately need vcs. They ALL literally have a million files named "dumdum.dumFINAL-3084_lastversion \2020, this one.dum".
They dont have git or anything like it, because they need a line-by-line solution like markdown for git to become effective.
All of writing is basically mired in the fact that people cant even roll up their paragraphs and see what the fuck it is theyre saying. Most writing reads like a long scroll through some nonsense that goes nowhere. Like this rant. but the point is that markdown and line-by line editing actually produces more logically sound writing. You start to think in terms of defining ideas in blocks, ... like code.9 -
I was having some trouble accelerating the delivery of a new feature and so my team leader joined me for some pair programming (awesome!). Five minutes later I was selecting some, text while explaining some problems, and he stops me.
Team leader: you know, you can select all that text by double clicking it;
Me: ok (continuing to explain)
Team leader: you have to be faster with that;
Me: That's not the point right now;
Why do people focus so much on these little things?! I really like pair programming, or just pairing to think about a problem, but this kind of things really get under my skin...
(Silver lining: Cool team leader that didn't snap after I told him to focus 😅)2 -
Started work in the morning, after a couple of hours was 90% done and would be clicking the checkbox on trello that task is completed.
Lol.
Found a bug.
OK, debugging time.
Spend an hour on trying to fix the simplest bug ever,( php was creating a file that had the contents but the wrong name)
At this point I was starting to get super pissed of cuz in 30min I need to go meet up with some friends.
LOL ok, fuck this shit, I don't want to do this anymore.
Made the bug into a feature that now you can have multiple authority(admin) accounts.
My teamm8 was like lol ok, we didint really need this but it will be useful so nice job.
👏GREAT MORNING:))))1 -
This is the story of probably the least secure CMS ever, at least for the size of it's consumer base. I ran into this many years ago, before I knew anything about how websites work, and the CMS doesn't exist anymore, so I can't really investigate why everything behaved so strangely, but it was strange.
This CMS was a kind of blog platform, except only specially authorised users could view it. It also included hosting. I was helping my friend set it up, and it basically involved sending everybody who was authorized a email with a link to create an account.
The first thing my friend got complaints about was the strange password system. The website had two password boxes, with a limit of (I think) 5 characters each. So when creating a account we recomended people simply insert the first 5 characters in the first box, and the rest in the second. I can not really think of a good explanation for this system, except maybe a shitty way to make sure password are at least 5 characters? Anyway, since this website was insecure the password was emailed to you after the account was created. This is not yet the WTF part.
The CMS forced sidebar with navigation, it also showed the currently logged in users. Except for being unreadable due to a colorful background image, there where many strange behaviors. The sidebar would generally stay even when navigating to external websites. Some internal links would open a second identical sidebar right next to the third. Now, I think that the issue was the main content was in an iframe with the sidebar outside it, but I didn't know about iframe's back then.
So far, we had mostly tested on my friends computer, which was logged in as the blog administrator. At some point, we tried testing with a different account. However, the behavior of sidebars was even stranger now. Now internal links that had previously opened a second, identical sidebar opened a sidebar slightly different from the first: One where the administrator was logged in.
We expirimented somewhat, and found that by clicking links in the second sidebar, we could, with only the login of a random user, change and edit all the settings of the site. Further investigation revealed these urls had a ending like ?user=administrator2J8KZV98YT where administrator was the my friends username. We weren't sure of the exact meaning of the random digits at the end, maybe a hash of the password?
Despite my advice, my friend decided to keep using this CMS. There was also a proper way to do internal links instead of copying the address bar, and he put a warning up not to copy links to on the homepage. Only when the CMS shut down did he finally switch to a system where formatting a link wrong could give anybody admin access. -
Has anyone else encountered this issue with installing a distro before?
So my colleague has installed Elementary OS 5.0 and he recommended me to do the same (on my personal dual boot laptop). However after the installation it doesn't reboot after clicking the button, and when I turn my laptop off and on again I get the grub as I should, choose elementary, I get the login screen all fine. But after logging in I only get the wallpaper and my cursor. I can't even open a terminal...
I've searched my ass off and everyone is saying to wait around 5 minutes before everything shows up after which you get to install graphic drivers. I've tried that but nothing happened so I just left it for the night hoping I could at least open a terminal in the morning, but there is still only the wallpaper and cursor.
I've tried pretty much anything at this point but I just can't get it to function. Is there anyone that has had such an issue before that could share a solution?18 -
That moment when your grandmother decides to speed run creating a power point slide and confuses herself, ending up randomly clicking on stuff.
*sigh*
Me: Take a deep breath and look at your list. Where are you at.
Grandmother: *looks at list* *looks up* I'm totally lost
GHAAAAHHHH IT'S YOUR FOURTH SLIDE AND WE'VE BEEN AT IT FOR AN HOUR AND YOU HAVE A LIST OF STEPS WHYYYYYYYYYYY
Anyways
I'm proud of her progress, she even figured out how to insert text boxes on her own (mostly)
😇 -
What the fuck my friend was telling me about a "awesome" website he found called codecadamy, as a developer I dunno what made him think I did not know how coding works, as I can already do it quite well, but I signed up non the less out of curiosity, immediately I am greeted with a "exclusive" premium offer, and after clicking away from it I find that litterly 90% of the courses are premium only, like wtf? I understand they need to make money, but at that point why make a free Version? I try one of the basics of web development ones, and find it so fucking full of bugs and paywalls that I can not focus on the actual coding. Sense I was fluent in the basic stuff (<h1>hello world</h1> I copied it, and it let me by, after more copying I FOUND A FUCKING BUG IN THERE CODE. I am 99% sure that all the success storys are fake, because the whole think is just one big paywall and inefficient tutorials that I think will only benefit people without knowledge of how to do Google search.8
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