Do all the things like ++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatarSign Up
Get a devDuck
Rubber duck debugging has never been so cute! Get your favorite coding language devDuckBuy Now
Search - "lolz"
Tech industry: "We need thousands upon thousands of engineers!"*
* With a minimum of 5 years+ experience in about 30 technologies, able to do magic and ride unicorns while working 28 hours pr day just for the lolz of it. We do not provide training, courses or certifications of any kind. You are supposed to be able to pull those out of your ass yourself!7
devRant has over 30k users within 1 year. Congratulations @dfox @trogus and awesome work. I would also like to thank my boss, project managers, colleagues and clients. They are the biggest contributors in devRant. lolz...1
I have decided to never write commits.
I will never write documentation.
I will write my code in the most confusing way possible.
I will include useless code.
I will always git commit with the message "asdfghjkl" or "HAHA LOLZ I DONT NOW WAT I WOROTEEE"
I will work at Apple.
I am xenophobic.
I will leave the company right before we push to production.
I will make so many friends.11
Today i was so bored, I saw an ant in my kitchen and I placed few sugar cubes infront of her, she had some and went to tell her friends and I quickly hide the sugar cubes because I wanted them to think she is a liar.#Lolz#
Comment the moral of the story.Let's see how creative devs are!!14
Client : hey why does your app minimize once I receive a call? Fix this ASAP! Also why does it show *that*? I have not turned anything on!
Me : Sorry, not possible (explains), you might want to contact Google (for the lolz). Also, the feature is shown by default, you can turn it off via Menu - Settings - Navigation - xxx.
Client : Can you make the incoming call popup smaller when using your app?
Me : Unfortunately no, that's not something I can do. Contact LG.
Client : I have been to Menu - Settings - Map - XXX and the feature is still shown, why does your software not work? Also *this and that* is not shown anymore!
Me : You turned off the wrong thing... *jumps out of the window* *contemplates life* *cries* *dies*1
Was scrolling some old photos and fell on that gift my bf gave me at Christmas 2016. The cover was so perfectly done, I thought for a few seconds it was a real special edition made by Nintendo just for the lolz...
Dat Moon Moon3
I showed a friend of mine a project I made in two days in Docker and Symfony php. It is a rather simple app, but it did involve my usual setup: Nginx with gzip/cache/security headers/ssl + redis caching db + php-fpm for symfony. I also used php7.4 for the lolz
He complained that he didn't like using Docker and would rather install dependencies with composer install and then run it with a Laravel command. He insisted that he wanted a non-docker installation manual.
I advised him to first install Nginx and generate some self-signed certificates, then copy all the config files and replace any environment-injected values (I use a self-made shell script for this) with the environment values in the docker-compose files.
Then I told him to download php-fpm with php 7.4 alpha, install and configure all the extensions needed, download and set up a local Redis database and at last re-implement a .env file since I removed those to replace them with a container environment.
He sent an angry emoji back (in a funny way)
God bless containerized applications, so easy to spin up entire applications (either custom or vendor like redis/mysql) and throw them away after having played with them. No need to clutter up your own pc with runtime environments.
I wonder if he relents :p9
This is so deep that I had to revaluate how I make life decisions.
The recent post on being obsessive with "CTRL+S" reminded me...
Be careful if the file was shared with you via Dropbox.
I was doing this with an excel doc called "services by client" once and got this email...
Subject: "services by client updated...." :-O
Every time you hit save, I get a popup notification on my screen and its’ been going like once a second for an hour
Are you MANIC SAVING that excel sheet!??? Are you dealing from some past trauma of losing a document that you’ve worked really hard on!!!???
Lol … maybe copy the file outside of that folder a few minutes so I can continue my nap without this little “ding” going off :-P
...all I had to say was WHO LEAVES DROPBOX POPUP NOTIFICATIONS ON anyway. Or mute your computer, lolz?1
Typical interaction in any XDA development thread:
User: How do I put these ROMs on my phone? Plz halp!
Me: ROOT -> flash RECOVERY -> enter recovery -> flash ROM -> flash Gapps -> profit.
User: How to get the roots? Can halp me?
Me: You're in a Nexus forum. There are directions on how to root everywhere.
User: I can't find. Plz halp.
Me: Fastboot oem unlock, fastboot flash recovery.img, flash SuperSU, flash ROM...
User: Where I can get fastboot?
Me: *link to Google developer's page*
User: Can you just tell me?
Me: No, you need to figure it out, so you know what you're doing.
*2 hours later*
User: HALP! I use toolkit for to get roots, and now phone won't come on! How to fix?! Halp, halp, halp!
*5 minutes later*
I was working on this mustachio fork called Morestachio and changed the Default Encoding from "Encoding.Default" to UTF8 while creating a .NetStandard version of it. After i have created everything i thought "Hey just for the lolz run my tests again" ...3
I have found a place for my first sticker and my phone goes everywhere so here's some free advertising lolz12
I dislike ignorant pricks that insult others while being wrong.
I dislile people that feel the need to insult others based on their choices or prefferences for products, music and stuff like that.
I dislike people that are so blatantly arrogant that they refuse to acknowledge being wrong because of some weird made up status in their head (i.e i have a phd...i cannot possibly be wrong)
I really dislike teenagers that think that they know shit. They never do, suprisingly we have many of them here...
I dislike people that find ways to justify being assholes to others.
I also dislike people that hide behind a keyboard.
I dislike people that tend to follow trend opinions: "lolz mac suckz i kan du errthing in LenIXxX" shit like that irrititates me, also the php hate wars, I see people bitching about not having a job or experience in the field because they wont hire them for whatever hipster shit they are not using.......yet they make fun of people with php skills that have been on the industry far longer than what the haters have known how to use a computer....ah and some of them here are also on their teens....
All in all. I hate assholes really. I see many of them in this industry, and even tho I have seen a couple of them in here the great majority of the user base is absolutely amazing.
:) y'all beautiful people have a great weekend!8
Reply to a recruiter today quoting her email:
You will end up with more qualified people if you don't use blatantly fictitious statements like. "While it's not often that I like to email people I don' t know (especially those in different cities!)" You're a recruiter using LinkedIn, the activity of recruiting is partially doing exactly the above.
No interest, have a good day.
I have a client, travel agency, asked me to improve/fix their booking website and half way through the development I noticed one travel agency is using curl to access the database. I decided to fix the database schema as quick as possible and the next day that travel agency confessed that they were accessing the database via curl and the reason they confessed was that they couldn't catch up when I was fixing the database.
I decided to give them an API Key (with the permission of my client of course) and things are looking well. Except for the developer who was pissed at me for trolling them.1
Started work in the morning, after a couple of hours was 90% done and would be clicking the checkbox on trello that task is completed.
Found a bug.
OK, debugging time.
Spend an hour on trying to fix the simplest bug ever,( php was creating a file that had the contents but the wrong name)
At this point I was starting to get super pissed of cuz in 30min I need to go meet up with some friends.
LOL ok, fuck this shit, I don't want to do this anymore.
Made the bug into a feature that now you can have multiple authority(admin) accounts.
My teamm8 was like lol ok, we didint really need this but it will be useful so nice job.
I find it so difficult naming my classes, and Id’s in html and naming my variables in both JS and PHP. They are either too short and vague, or too long and specific. Haha Sometimes I wonder if I should use underscores or camelcase :( hard choices! >.<1
Avoided IoT(IoS - InternetOfShit) for a long time now, due to the security concerns with retail products.
Now I looked into 433 Transceiver + Arduino solutions.. to build something myself, just for the lolz.
Smallest Arduino I found has 32 KByte of programmable memory, a tiny tiny crypto library could take around 4 KBytes...
Set a symetric crypto key for each homebrewn device / sensor / etc, send the info and commands (with time of day as salt for example) encrypted between Server <-> IoT gadget, ciphertext would have checksum appended, magic and ciphertext length prepended.
Be safe from possible drive-by attacks, still have a somewhat reliable communication?!
Ofc passionate hackers would be still able to crack it, no doubt.
Question: Am I thinking too simple? Am I describing just the standard here?14
devRant should be in interview questions:
question1 - do u have devRant?
:yes - proceed to next question
: no - interviewer says "leave right now"
question2 - do u have your devRant stickers?
: yes - " you're hired"
: no - "you have 1 week trial to get them"
I don’t want to come across as entitled, but what kind of person gets a software internship in California?
I go to university in California, I’m a junior CS student, I have 8 public ios apps (2 charted in US, 1 acquired small sum [5k]), I completely designed the blockchain parameters and built multiple front-end apps for a new cryptocurrency (it hit 3mil$ market cap).
And I applied to 22 tech companies. Rejected from pretty much all (waiting on my dream company still). Do they just not even get to some applications or do I literally have to be superhuman?5
I wonder if Google released Flutter because they can't let Facebook have all the fun with react native. Or maybe they did it because they had fushia os in mind for a loooong time. Or maybe because they realized that the android api is overly complicated and the Dart way is easier. Or maybe they did it for the lolz.
My manager just told me this at the end of the work day.
Today, my manager got a call from client "X".
They wanted to know why issue "Y" happened at event "Z" that was being put on for their client.
My manager basically told them we had nothing to do with that part of the event, so we wouldn't have had anything to do with solving problem "Y" either, but that what ended up causing problem "Y" had been passively mentioned to us months ago, and that he's not sure why their client didn't communicate it.
Client "X" told my manager that they would call back after talking to their person that helped organize event "Z".
No call back.
Definitely rant-ish, but also kind of a funny/ridiculous story to end the work day with.4
a few good old firends of mine wish to learn some coding to make a simple game. Probably for lolz, I do not think that they´re up to anything _too_ serious. Guess who they contacted for mentoring...
They´re up for boot camp, I say.
Will you pay for JAVA? This is really funny now that .NET is open source and free. We went the other way around.
Person: is it possible to learn binary?
Here's the dictionary: 0=0 1=1😏
Ps this is stolen from a quora quote
Stand-up meeting at 9:00 AM in the boardroom. It's called stand-up meeting but everyone will be sitting lolz...
I hate this Monday meetings, too many stupid talk. PM mostly doesn't have any clue about the project. I bet she didn't update the client last Friday.
For some reason, out of no where, I made this word up. It's called Moop, and it's definition is paradoxical. It means "everything and nothing, anywhere and nowhere, etc". So one day at work one of my coworkers pushed his untested commit to the master branch of our 25k project. To make matters worse, he deleted all other branches and previous versions of the project. Our project manager heard about it and became so angry that he almost broke our no-curse-word-policy. So he called is all together to get around it so he could properly vent.
Project manager: "Guys I'm extremely angry at James (the one who pushed the untested source code to our commercial project, ruining it)
Me: well, I have a word that we can use
Project manager: what is it?
You can guess what the next few weeks at work was like. All of my coworkers had to fix the crap James made, including myself. So the conversations went like this: "The mooperfluffer James should have never mooped with us!", "MOOP YOU JAMES, I HOPE YOU HET MOOPED TO HELL YOU MOOPUP!!!!!", "Hey James, guess what! I hope you moop yourself". Our boss became a strong moop user and spray moop all over James workstation. We put moop in his cup, his laptop keyboard, even his thumb drive. We downloaded moop.exe to his PC so we could moop his kernel.
Today James' life is officially mooped.3
So funny that I spend most of my time at work reading rants rather than working. Can you guys allow me to concentrate by not posting any rants. Lolz
Does anyone else have the problem of of offensive naming conventions? It's just a habit of mine that I name everything after something afwul, just for the lolz.
So the day started at 12am(lol) when I woke up, because the day usually starts when you wake up, except that for me it started when I didn't go to sleep. No problem, worked on web project, I also do some sysadmin stuff, I love these two fields and I learn so much by just doing it so it is a fucking pain to go to school where I can only sleep coz the shit they teach I already know or not relevant/makes no sense to me and my life. Drains the fcking life out of me.
Is college the same or it is possible to enjoy because you can focus on what you love in your full time?
I consider myself a self-taught(coz I just sit at my computer and use the internet lolz, no one has helped me in my profession before, mainly coz I hate asking for help) and I see a lot that degree is not worth it, go for a job...
One thing I know is that I'll definitely try to find any job as soon as I get the fuck out of here, I'm 17 and I feel I'm already late (yeah, that's stupid).
I wanted to ask you guys, maybe someone is/was in the same situation or something but I'm just thinking loudly here :D
Right now I'm at a theatre with my class, I am so lonely here I have a whole free row for myself, at least I'm less anxious now. Such bullshit, I could be at home learning and developing.
I'll be learning how to build automated integration tests for a serverless infrastructure during the Superb Owl tomorrow. How about you?