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Search - "yeah i got skills"
*signs up for Skillshare*
> Sorry, your password is longer than our database's glory hole can handle.
> Please shorten your password cumload to only 64 characters at most, otherwise our database will be unhappy.
Well, I've got a separate email address from my domain and a unique password for them. So shortening it and risking getting that account stolen by plaintext shit won't really matter, especially since I'm not adding payment details or anything.
*continues through the sign-up process for premium courses, with "no attachments, cancel anytime"*
> You need to provide a credit card to continue with our "free" premium trial.
Yeah fuck you too. I don't even have a credit card. It's quite uncommon in Europe, you know? We don't have magstripe shit that can go below 0 on ya.. well the former we still do but only for compatibility reasons. We mainly use chip technology (which leverages asymmetric cryptography, awesome!) that usually can't go much below 0 here nowadays. Debit cards, not credit cards.
Well, guess it's time to delete that account as well. So much for acquiring fucking knowledge from "experts". Guess I'll have to stick to reading wikis and doing my ducking-fu to select reliable sources, test them and acquire skills of my own. That's how I've done it for years, and that's how it's been working pretty fucking well for me. Unlike this deceptive security clusterfuck!15
Yesterday I stayed at home sick. Had a bad case of the EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA FROM HELL. Was feeling ok but could not walk away from me throne.
Went in today cuz the lead was not gonna be there and shit always breaks on Freyja's day as we all know.
1 and a half hours before we clock out and go home someone calls saying that students are trying to drop from classes at the last minute and our app ain't doing it.
I "fixed" the app last week and ran a small login test. It work so I thought it was fine. Stupid me for making unprofessional and retarded assumptions.
Manager freaks out. The entire school freaks out. Coworker lols cuz he ain't got to work on it. I start mind debugging the entire bitcheridoo.
45 minutes later...and I was able to successfully go through almost 15k lines of code of php/html/js code and fucking FIXED it with tests and all for real.
Went at it hard. Babe ass manager was like 0.0 and then (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Called head office and told them everything was undr control.
Dropped the phone like a mic. Mic drop.
Then I looked at manager and coworker and said "ya I fucked up, but I am still the king"
Both nodded in agreement.
Everyone got wet with my sheer awesome troubleshooting php master skills.
Got home thinking about how boss I am.
Fucking Texas af b. Can't touch this heat. The rangers still suck and so do the cowboys. The astros and the texans don't exist because there is only room for one. Go spurs.
Still have diarrhea.
Like most people I needed some extra cash during uni, so I proceeded to learn CSS + Photoshop (yeah, I know). Followed by PHP and WordPress.
It can be a very shitty platform until you realize that you can stop combining plug-ins from all over the place with dubious code quality and roll your own.
Anyhow I kept at it until I was able to join a niche company doing a quite popular caching plug-in for WP (yeah, W3 Total) when I suddenly became *very* interested in anything and everything performance.
This landed me a very cozy consulting gig in the Nordics - they were using WP for an elephant-traffic website and had run into a myriad of perf issues.
Fixing them and breaking the monolith awarded me with skills in nodejs, linux, asynchronous caching among others.
I was soon in charge with managing the dev boxes for the entire team, and when the main operations dude left, I was promoted to owning the entire platform. (!) Tinkering with Linux for most of my life really came in handy here. (remember Debian potato?)
Used saltstack + aws cloudformation to achieve full parity between all environments. Learned myself some python and all various tips and tricks which in the end amounted to 90% reduction in time-to-first-byte and considerable cost savings.
By the end of the 2yr contract I had turned myself into a fullstack systems engineer and never looked back.
Lawyers not getting along resulted in us having to abandon NewRelic, so I got to learn and deploy the ELK stack as a homegrown replacement, which was super-fun.
Now I work in the engineering effectiveness department of a Swedish fintech unicorn where all languages under the Sun are an option (tho we prefer Python), so the tech stack is unlimited. Infinite tools and technologies, but with strong governing principles and with performance always in mind so as to pick the right tool for the job.
It's like that childhood feeling when you've just dumped a ton of Lego on the floor and are about to build something massive.
I guess the morale here is however disappointed you feel by your current stack - don't. Always strive to make things better, faster, more decoupled, easier to test, etc. and always challenge yourself to go outside the comfort zone.6
Yeah i applied for a job once without much js experience. I got invited for an interview and a couple of tests. The interview went well. I think the cognitive test wasn’t bad either.
However they wanted to see funky js shit i hadn’t ever done or see before and also was totally useless skill wise.
I asked if i could google answers (who doesn’t in their daily script job?) but i wasn’t.
I tried for like 5 or 10 minutes and then blurted out to the major CTO super tech savy master degree microsoft-o-worthy, that my js skills weren’t up for the task.
He gave me a couple of links to pdf’s with programming basics teached at a high school. Totally cool and understanding.
I walked away ashamed and probably red as a tomato. Excused myself for wasting his time and left as quickly as possible.5
So I went on holiday for 2 weeks. Was partying a lot, met my old friends and I wasn’t coding at all, instead I learnt how to play chess, so I can keep my brain busy.
Anyway, towards the end of my holiday, I started missing coding and I knew I was ready return to work.
Monday: so we got feedback from client of website you created 1 month ago and these are changes you need to make:
1. Support IE
2. Update texts
3. Make CTA button bigger
4. Change color of ...
So yeah this shit again.
I have seriously started thinking about completely abandoning my career in full stack web dev, and go back end only, because that’s actually the thing I enjoy and not the fucking frontend bullshit of “I don’t like color of my penis, can you change it?”.
I also feel like this kind of work is waste of my skills, stuff like that can be done by any inexperienced intern, so why the fuck me?8
It's rant time!
So, as a broke electrical engineering student, I got this job in a local company. They used JSF and my skills in java were, at the very least, small (former PHP developer). But as a self taught developer this didn't stopped me and I went full on java learning (very bad year for my EE studies).
I became the 'guy in charge' for several of their projects (yeah, they did exploited broke students, I realized this far too late). I was very proud of myself, I worked hard, showed my true value, and they became impressed.
One nice thursday night, my "handler" emailed me with a urgent request. They needed an entire jsf application done by monday and the requirements were fairly complex.
Oh boy, I had a total of 10h of sleep from thursday to monday. I didn't even slept before going to my monday class, but I delivered the system. Got an pat in the back... "you're awesome"... I was happy.
6 months later: I received an email asking to fix a bug in the system. No problem with that. Oddly, this bug was a MAJOR bug. There's no way the system worked properly for six months with it. I fixed it in no time and commited the changes.
Turns out that this was the first time the system was going to be deployed. They made me go in an insane weekend dev project, and didn't even used the system for SIX MONTHS!!! I started to work my way out the company after this, aiming to open my own software company.
I still remember some other rants from the time I worked there. But these are for later.
Nice week for you all, may the sprint go gently and the clients be kind.1
Sometimes Im pretty impressed and envious by the skills of my fellow students.
Usually it looks like this:
me: So Uhm what u got for the <insert class here>?
him/her: Well its pretty simple algorithm which has big O of (Log(n)/1000000) which also mines bitcoin in the meanwhile and yeah, last night I figured out that it now generates electricity...
me: Uhm... My program prints Hello world... But backwards...
Like for real, sometimes I wish I find the motivation, to be awake 2 days straight just bursting with ideas of some crazy shit. Right now Im like 'You see that star behind that cloud? Jup it shines too bright, gotta get some sleep' -> Browsing devrant...2
One time, we picked up a Xamarin project and both Android and iOS teams had to pick a developer to handle it. After talking over it with my iOS bro, I decided that I hate C# far too much to start a project on this, even though I wanted a new experience, so iOS bro took over it. I got handed another iOS project in the meantime. iOS bro decides to take a free week from work after like a month or so of working on that project.
GUESS WHO DECIDED TO COME OVER AND WORK WITH US THAT WEEK? THE OWNERS OF THE PROJECT (they were handling the API). Guess who had to drop all projects at once and work for a whole week on a project he had no idea about in a programming language he only had a remote idea about? THIS GUY.
So, aside from the fact that I had no idea what I was doing, I also had the pressure of the owners working right next to me (they were cool people, but it's still a stress). That week really raised my stress level through the roof, as I doubted myself everyday that I would be able to be productive on that project. I got myself a free week too after that.
But yeah, this experience really made me doubt my skills as a programmer, as Xamarin was supposed to be just a cross-platform way of developing an app.
All in all, I've never had to work on that project again... but it was still an "I can't fucking believe it" moment when, one month-ish later, the project was to be scrapped and reprogrammed on ye olde Swift.1
Today I (/ later together with some colleagues) spent almost 4 hours trying to improve a Entity Framework LINQ to SQL query.
The initial problem was, that one of our List API endpoints took longer the more you "page" (besides the long response time it had anyways).
- brainstorming in the team
- brainstorming alone
- hacking around and
- shouting at screens
- got nothing optimized
- got confused about what EF does
- lost the believe in our development skills
So Entity Framework is really a nice thing. But as soon as you look deeper, trying to figure out what it really does between ToList() and "yeah my data arrived" it is just....demonic.3