When you juggling between a technical conversation, a private conversation and one with your parents at the same time.

I don't know what to feel anymore

Learn git before anything else...

Git...

Git...

When one of those "Your windows has been infected, click here to remove virus now" ads slips through the adblocker while I'm on my Linux

I find it amazing how she was able to write all that code by hand, without any tools to assist her. I don't even want to think about the enormous amount of time she spend debugging that.

If($password = $password2) {
//login
}

Keep in mind that password is the salted and hashed input and password2 is the Salter and hashed pw in the database...

Who needs passwords am I right?

fsck this

When I'm bored I play developers roulette.

($RANDOM % 6 == 0) && rm -rf / || echo "Click"

The Linux!!!

Many years ago at school the machines were imaged using Norton Ghost. A floppy disk containing Norton Ghost and it's configuration would be put into the machine, which would automatically start the imaging process.

When these floppy disks inevitably started erroring they'd be tossed into the rubbish bin. I grabbed one of these broken disks, inserted it a few times until my machine would recognise it, and hey presto, the config file along with the domain admin password were now visible.

Dear America, it is time for us to band together and ctrl-z out of this situation 😳

Worst security bug I have ever found was Windows. The best bug fix was installing Linux ;)

Thanks google allo for letting me know that todays precipitation is {precipitation}!!

/bin/cat

Honesty

Dear email marketers:

I don't owe you anything just because you bought my contact information from some sketchy company. If I was interested in your garbage sales pitch I would fucking reply! Quit nagging me for a response and go get real jobs you fucking twats!

for(var i = 0; list.length; i++) {}

*Shit what's wrong*

How I losed 30 min yersterday.

Unencrypted, plain text passwords stored in SQL, from lowest role all the way up through Admin. In the same system, they had a "backdoor" password that would log in any user...

Contex: Working on a c++ frankenstein code (mixture of legacy and new stuff whith things depending on the client using it)

User Story: Migration from oracle to SQLite for half of the DB data

Summoner: One client wants to keep using legacy for now, therefore we need an strategy chooser templated singleton...

Satan 666 = Singletons + Static methods + Different compilation units

Result: 3/4 of the files of the full backend being modified for the migration.

Conclusion: When will be loaded on production company will probably lose many clients due to unspected bugs everywhere.

Insert potato here

USA you collectively almost have one brain cell.

Guys kill me please...
WE USE CLEARCASE AND ANT
Because git and maven are still under evaluation....
Am I working for the wrong company?

Ex-boss (who boasted 20 years of programming exp.) Would not let us work on a web project saying we didn't have enough experience and said he'd do it alone... Fast forward to 3 days before presenting to client, we get to check the log in interface and immediately find that there's no actual security, no validation... Just 2 text boxes with hard coded users and no way to add more without creating them in db... And if you knew the next page's URL you can actually skip the login... Needless to say he was removed from the project that instant and we (interns at the time) had to do everything from scratch. A 3 months project done in 2 days. Never been more stressed in my life :'(

!=Rant

Does any one else presses cmd+c / ctr+c multiple times just in case the first one did not work?!?

I noticed some users with very high votes and looked at their posts. All of the posts were just positive statements. Let me try. "I think computers are wonderful. It's so exciting to build out the ideas of my dreams and help others."

Whenever I make instant coffee, I apply this formula:

18ml² water + (recommendSpoons*2) + (milk*M³)

Where 'M' stands for the motivation which is a constant of 0

AES256. The private key was in a config file... in Github.

So I just receieved a rude email from my client as candidates cannot register on his system. He is adamant that the system I built doesn't work........until he found out that candidates are silly and not reading notifications written in h1 with a font size of 33px that states "Please check your email to activate your account".......

FUCK SAKE READ PEOPLE.... READ!

Blue pill: master LITERALLY every computer language on earth and be able to use them to their full potential to create LITERALLY any idea that comes to you.
Red pill: master LITERALLY every linguistic language that exists and be able to speak fluently with every human on earth
...........................
I picked the blue pill and people thought I'm weird.

"Python is such a hard language. It has so many rules" - Undergraduate Student who sent out mass email to the class

*Professor makes the next assignment in ARM Assembly*

Yep, that is so me!

How to get devs to apply for a job