This might come off like i'm so full of myself, but its just true.

This probably happens to so many other girl devs as well, so this might be relatable.

Why can't guys at school, work, etc. just be friends with me? They often start liking me as more than a friend, causing me to disappoint them that I don't, and then they don't want to be friends anymore.

I get it, there aren't many developer, 'gamer', reasonably attractive girls out there, but damn it kinda sucks :/.

Me: I should make a new branch.
Inner me: push to master.

I remember that one time I accidentally copy-pasted a pornhub link instead of a trello card's to my commit.

I use pictures of clouds as the background for anything related to cloud computing

!rant
A programmer walks into a bar. The bartender wonders whether to keep a tab or 4 spaces...

When you set details to Ultra High but keep shadows on Ultra Low.

Honest app reviews

I can't even type my name correctly if someone is looking on my screen.

Render issues IRL

10 points for next century option.

Opening your editor on Monday morning

Difference between 0 and NULL.

Changing numbers on CSS randomly until it works.

Aka, using magic numbers

Oh wow. That timing though.

try{
❤️
}catch(){
🍺
}

HR: We have received complain that you have been sexually harassing an intern.
Me: No, I wasn’t. Me and the new intern all we talk about is Coding, Apps, and TV-Series
HR: You are lying. I have the words that you said to the intern. Do you want me to read it out.
Me: I have no clue what I said to the intern so please read it out.
HR: You said, “Always pull before you push”. Do you remember saying this?
Me: Yes, I was teaching the intern how to use GIT.
HR: Okay, let me call the intern and let see if he says the same.

** Intern **
HR: Was he sexually harassing you today at any time.
Intern: No
HR: Did he said, “Pull before you push” to you?
Intern: Yes
HR: What does that mean, sounds like a slang for something sexual.
Intern: haha, no it means that I should pull the changes made to the files before I can push the changes I did to the code from my computer.
HR: But he said something else like he was teaching you how to use GIT
Intern: Yes, that’s what GIT is.
HR: Okay both of you can go and don’t use this type of terms in the future it doesn’t make good working culture.

When you have the users test your application

That's a good one!

Ghost in the Shell (2017)

When the API is not documented.

Friend: "What is devRant?"
Me: "A place where programmers tell jokes and complain."
Friend: "Why dont you just do that irl?"
Me: "Because we never test in production"

Typical code comment

UI design gone wrong

F*CKING DESIGNERS.

Stop sending me your freaking PNG. Don't even dare to FREAKIN' make me use Chrome DevTools to get your FREAKIN' color our of your FREAKIN' PNG.

Give me all your colors in FREAKIN' hex, rgba, or whatever you want.

Give me all the fonts you used.

Give me all the sizes, is it percentage-based? Pixels based? Donuts-based?

I don't give a damn that you think you went responsive-first. Show me the damn responsive mockups. Not just the desktop sized with a note: "Don't worry mate, I made so that it all goes well when responsive".

Oh god. Oh god.

I'm not an artist, I give zero shit about how great it looks.

I'm a programming poet, I want to write code without having to open (or download it first through torrent) the damn photoshop, sketch, or whatever you use.

They take freakin' months to dump a mockup and we have days to make it happen. The pain.

The pain is strong with those damn designers.

Fuck.

When you're not creative enough to make a post that would give you some stickers but you have a 3D printer...

┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃＼○／
┓┏┓┏┓┃ / Friday
┛┗┛┗┛┃ノ)
┓┏┓┏┓┃ Deploys
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┛┗┛┗┛┃
┓┏┓┏┓┃
┃┃┃┃┃┃
┻┻┻┻┻┻

My cat loosed resolution, what should I do? :/

-The oldest computer can be traced to Adam and Eve
-Yes, it was an apple
-But with an extremely limited memory
-Just one byte
-Then everything crashed

Girl : I like dangerous men.
Me : I didn't run test cases while committing my changes last night.
Girl : my hero!

Me : *wakes up from the dream*

I see a lot of arguments out there over 2 space, 4 space and tab indents but I think the really problem are the people that double tab. Yes they exist and yes they are the real scum of the earth