me deleting print statements after debugging my code

Illuminating...

Dat ass

Why I love devRant:
You'll never receive bad or degrading comments.

If I post a picture of my hairy ass here, the comments would be like:
"There are good sides of having excessive hair."

People who ask a question on the interwebs, solves it by themselves and just say "It's OK. I've solved it" without explaining how should have their Internet removed (maybe some light torture too).

When you open devRant for the first time:

What the...!

Conversation in (not so far) future:

Me: Sorry boss, I can't get to work this morning. My car is updating. Automatically.
Boss: Oh you have that Windows 10 car, you can work from home today.
Me: Boss, but my computer...
Boss: Oh, okay it can wait till tomorrow.

After reading a lot of cryptography, I realized that it would be best if Alice and Bob just talk in person

Haha, always a gem ❤

Making Variables

Javascript in a nutshell

When it doesn't matter anymore if you read or not, because the author already have been paid!

Programmers life #1

Interviewer:Explain us deadlock and we'll hire you !

Me:Hire me and I'll explain it to you..

Let's clarify:
* Github is not Git
* Android is not Java
* Unit test is not TDD
* Java is not OOP
* Docker is not Devops
* Jenkins is not CI
* Agile is not institutionalised total chaos
* Developer is not Printer Support

Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..

Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.

Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡

Developer

What's a wrapper class you ask?

Dentist: Did you follow the advice I gave you in our last sitting ?
Me: Sure did!
Dentist: Great, let's see!
*Inspects teeth*
Dentist: Your teeth look horrible.
Me: I did exactly what you advised me to do!
Dentist: You brushed your teeth twice a day every day?
Me: Twice???
Dentist: Yes, I told you to brush before bed and in the morning!
Me: That's exactly what I did! Sometimes it was hard to fulfill both conditions at the same time, so I had to brush twice, but I managed to do it on the other days!
Dentist: Fucking programmers.

Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix

Here, forever alone nerds can also unzip, touch, mount and fsck ***. Strange.

My friend Bob : "Hey meet my girlfriend Alice"
Me : "I always knew about you two"

Me: Let's grab something for dinner!
GF: Sure, but let's go somewhere safe
Me:

At university we had lessons in C++.
First lesson: Make a calculator
Second lesson: Make an application that uses sockets to connect to an FTP-server and downloads a file. No FTP-libraries allowed.

What am I supposed to do with a stress ball ? Throw it to people who stress me out ?

When I turn off my laptop and the mouse starts blinking because it is trying to connect to the host I imagine a young boy in the fields shouting "Papa? Daddy where are you? [Crying] Papaaa"

True shit.

Graphics girl

When i open a 2 gigabyte wordlist text file and forgot that my defaults​ text editor is GUI based.