I really want this GitHub theme!

Source : Twitter

Guys, I am getting married in one hour 🎉

(Q: How much are you allowed to Google as a developer?)

“You’re allowed to Google as much as you want. This is not school, you’re employed to solve a problem. Nobody cares whether you Google for the answer or remember the answer from another Googling.”

Every freaking time!

JavaScript guys!! 🤣😅😅

Different error is better 👍

Yo!
I went to see my mother a few days, and her TV's broken.
She told me to repair it, because "you're a programmer"
Does anybody knows a python function or a useful library that could repair TV ?

Got this in a fortune cookie the other day right after I released a new app.

Eternal confusion.

"Work for me", client said, "I won't pay you but you will get some reputations for working with us" he added.

"Sorry, my body can't digest reputation", I replied.

So i saw this on fb today..
Haha

Interviewer: We're worried you don't have enough backend experience for this frontend position.

New devComic! Based on a funny rant by @AlgoRythm (https://devrant.com/rants/1168834/)

Dev: Microsoft is shit

VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys

VS Code: (｡◕‿◕｡)

"You're gonna lose. BUG TIME"

I don't really like memes but this one is way too relatable...

A nice application...

It all makes sense now...

Holy mother of god, 100K!

Honestly what happened? Upvote sprees or something?!

I left devRant with 95K this morning 😱

I'll do a bigger rant later, just came out of work, most of the day went well but last hour was more stressful than anything so gonna go home (have a coffee on the way) now and prepare an emergency security blog article (something happened in the security/spy world).

Thanks peoples!

Huge congrats to @linuxxx for being the first ever member of the devRant community to reach 100,000++

This is an awesome accomplishment and @linuxxx earned all of his ++ with awesome stories and has represented everything the devRant community is about while getting there.

So once again, congrats @linuxxx, and thanks for everything you have contributed to devRant!

As a programmer, I'm outraged.

EVERYTIME!!

Found something true as 1 == 1

People who send an email saying "I'm getting an error message".

WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!

WHAT IS THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE?!

OH NO SURE LET ME LOOK IN MY CRYSTAL BALL, I'LL HAVE IT FIGURED OUT FOR YOU IN NO FUCKING TIME.

😡

I hired a woman for senior quality assurance two weeks ago. Impressive resume, great interview, but I was met with some pseudo-sexist puzzled looks in the dev team.

Meeting today. Boss: "Why is the database cluster not working properly?"

Team devs: "We've tried diagnosing the problem, but we can't really find it. It keeps being under high load."

New QA: "It might have something to do with the way you developers write queries".

She pulls up a bunch of code examples with dozens of joins and orderings on unindexed columns, explains that you shouldn't call queries from within looping constructs, that it's smart to limit the data with constraints and aggregations, hints at where to actually place indexes, how not to drag the whole DB to the frontend and process it in VueJS, etc...

New QA: "I've already put the tasks for refactoring the queries in Asana"

I'm grinning, because finally... finally I'm not alone in my crusade anymore.

Boss: "Yeah but that's just that code quality nonsense Bittersweet always keeps nagging about. Why is the database not working? Can't we just add more thingies to the cluster? That would be easier than rewriting the code, right?"

Dev team: "Yes... yes. We could try a few more of these aws rds db.m4.10xlarge thingies. That will solve it."

QA looks pissed off, stands up: "No. These queries... they touch the database in so many places, and so violently, that it has to go to therapy. That's why it's down. It just can't take the abuse anymore. You could add more little brothers and sisters to the equation, but damn that would be cruel right? Not to mention that therapy isn't exactly cheap!"

Dev team looks annoyed at me. My boss looks even more annoyed at me. "You hired this one?"

I keep grinning, and I nod.

"I might have offered her a permanent contract"

Give that man some HUGE FUCKING COOKIES!

Client...

Oh!! Nevermind!!

Thank you @dfox

Glad I could help with the .com domain!

Thanks dfox and trogus! A fiiiine addition to my setup