Today in horror stories: setting up the local dev environment for a project I'm taking over creates changes and notifications in prod.

Oh and my local dev env is somehow receiving data from actual patients. I don't know how.

Fucking mongodb I swear to god what is your problem, why do you close all connections after successful authentication you piece of concentrated crapjuice and why is the best information you can give me a pissing "Connection ended" message your demonic unholiness?

Stick a cactus up your rear, pot included

Why in the everliving freaking fuck does Java have a class called URLEncoder which DOES NOT DO URL ENCODING??? The shit-spraying piece of a mouldy footgun does formencoding?? Which sadistic maniac thought that was a good idea?

Today in Cursed Java error messages, this beauty: `java.net.MalformedURLException: no protocol: "http://knowledgebase-api.development.svc.cluster.local/..."`

Yes, no protocol. You read that right. There is in fact a protocol there.

How hard can it be to let sql just multiply some values and sum the results, right? As it turns out, damn hard!

I hear you thinking, surely you can just do select SUM(price*amount) AS total right? Nope! I mean, yes you can, but it fucks up. Oddly. It always ends up giving me wrong results. Always. Wtf sql? And it's not like I'm running a massive dataset or anything, it's like 100 records at most?

So I'm tasked with rewriting the old software my employer uses to track basically anything in his company. They want to stick quite close to the old workflow as much as possible, I get that.

"Why exactly do you need access to the system? No you don't need to look at it just recreate the flow. I'll give you the sql structure is that OK? Oh and this won't take long, you can copy from the old code can't you? Wait why do you need access to the code? No. "

🙄

I've just won a wafer of the first generation of STMicro accelerometers! Fuck yes!

Western Digital, please, for the love of all things holy and not entirely shit, stop making your external hard drives flash a fucking flashlight when they are in "sleep" mode (attached to a sleeping laptop for example). I would like to sleep you beerpissers!

Fucking exam on Electronic Building Blocks... (aka Arduino). Program this thing ON GODFORGOTTEN PAPER! And then these retards put in that assignment line: max 5 lines of code, for a function that does nothing more than divide two shit eating numbers! And half of my apparently vegetative class fails this! When you were allowed to use your book and notes!

Oh and also, here's a seemingly pissed over image of an arduino with some peripherals, draw the wires. Draw! How the fuck do I keep 21 cocksuffocating wires on a page without overlaps or unclarity?

I met my girlfriend due to code.

There were these free courses for competitive programming as a preparation for the informatics olympiad and we got along and made weird programs and had a great time. Most of the other people there were much younger than us, and in the actual finals she ended up beating me by quite a bit, yet she still dares to say I am a better programmer.

It's been almost a year since then. Wow

Relationship status: debugging TI-BASIC over the phone

!dev. NMBS is Belgian rail service
Fucking NMBS you arseholes! Put a cactus in your arse and a pinecone in you urethra and go sit in lotus position with me in your neck!! The fucking train of 0920 still has to leave, it'd 1250 now! My train has been cancelled, everything else has at least 30 minutes delay. They announce over the speakers that a train will come in 3 minutes to the next station. Train fucking rushes by like a fucking drugged roadrunner with TNT on its burning tail! You had better payed back my ticket or I'll smash jn that fancy window at your ticket office and choke you until you carry me home fucking arseholes.

Is it normal that after having cancelled my ++ subscription quite a while ago, I still have the badge and black theme?
Not that I don't like it, just seems kind of wrong. And I unsubscribed because I don't have the money anymore

Woohoo new devRanter!
Hey @Silke

Will these fucktards just FUCKING FIX EDUROAM! alright it's a WiFi network that works across the globe and there's challenges with that BUT DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO MANUALLY RECONNECT EVERY random amount of time!!! I'll shove that fucking MSCHAPv2 down you fucking throats with that sweet sweets PEAP sauce bloody arseholes.
What do you fucking mean it works fine? NO IT BLOODY DOESN'T! Get your shit together and at least handle DHCP leases correctly and make them not expire every fucking minute!!

Also, how the flipping fuck does connecting to the eduroam VPN from within fucking eduroam make it more stable? Only ever so slightly though. Incompetent pieces of dick sucking craptards don't make me have to bring out the ethernet jack EVERY FUCKING TIME at school for christ's sake.
No, it doesn't make it my problem because I'm running Linux. Look on the Internet. The forums are fucking filled with people having issues and your docs are from 5 years ago so please kindly FUCK Off!!!

*wakes up *
*checks github *
5 pull requests accepted
"dude you're on fire!"
Feelsgoodman

Wtf Fedora? I install the develop version of TheFuck to work on a plugin, all of a sudden dnf only runs with sudo but gives a module not found when run as normal user? Whyy?

Python import system is a bloody mess, 1 file somewhere with the wrong name and it imports the wrong thing which doesn't contain the thing and crashes.
Can't we just please have STATIC BINARIES? Please? Fml

There's seriously a girl here following DAE (Game development) with one of them fancy tiny macbooks. Yes the one without escape. I wish her good luck and congratulations on being rich and a retard who ignores school advice on laptops

Coffee is 50 cents a cup in uni.
Coffee
Coffee
Moar coffee

FuckimsohighImmajumpallovertheplacenowihavetositdownshiticantfuckbutcoffeeislife

Guys, the algo is getting sentient

I'm a Linux guy, but for some goddamn reason I work in sound. Which means I need vst plugins and windows. EVERY FUCKING TIME WINDOWS OVERWRITES MY DARN LINUX PARTITION just enough that I can't recover it AND THEN FUCKS UP THE BOOTLOADER THAT I CAN'T EVEN BOOT Windows. Whyyyyyyy? I just want to work or play a game but now I'm stuck fixing bootloaders and corrupt partitions...... Fml

Be developing a react native app with create-react-native-app.
Almost done, time to eject! Let's install Android studio. 6 GiB free on /tmp, that should work. yaourt - S android-studio
Oh no! Nit enough space on tmp! Ffs and then that is without the Android sdk!

Be driving... 404 gas no longer found. Fml

Finals for the Belgian Olympiad in Informatics in an hour. I'm stressed. Had the second best score in the first round so pressure is on

Use Xamarin, they said. It will be easy, they said. You will only need to write your UI once, they said. NOPE
Documentation is shit, I've been sitting here for the past hour and a half figuring out how to add an icon to a button in their shiny XAML thing for which they have NO DOCUMENTATION. THEY WANT YOU TO HOE IT OVER C# BUT THEY ONLY GIVE EXAMPLES IN C#. And now I'm trying to figure out where I can download the iOS UIBarButton icons, because you can't use native icons and fuck apple too, they don't want to give em to you.
What a hellhole.
All while my client is constantly spamming me in all ways, distracting me, marking issues as "supercritical" (which makes an alarm ring on my phone and is only meant for emergencies) and otherwise distracting the living daylight out of asking for screens of the UI.

AND I STILL PREFER IT OVER ANDROID STUDIO. Don't even get me started on that one.

The site for the Belgian informatics olympiad.

You know devRant's important when...

The picture in my uni's brochure for informatics...

TL;DR just read this
So my current (student) job. Asked me to count inventory. Did so, on paper because nobody had a list of the product barcodes for easy cumulative scanning. I also made records for every single barcode. Then I had to key it in onto the Bookkeeping and sales software thing. They don't have keyboard shortcuts, so I quickly made an ahk script.
Had to manually type in everything 3ven though I had a digital listing.
Software lets you print barcodes for products but gives you an error when you try because you haven't assigned a code. WHICH YOU CAN'T DO IN THAT Crap. You also can't search for a product based on code.

Found out it used access as a back end for that buggy c++ thing that crashes with 'operation not permitted' when you press the red x. Great! Now I can import! And there is a barcode field. Wow. Fucking fantastic. What a fuckfest.

Their website. Their fucking website. Great from a user's standpoint, but my God. It uses joomla! However, version 2.5. That hasn't been supported for a long time. Part of the images are hard coded into the theme. The text editor flips. Adding a page sometimes works, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes makes 2 pages.

And their cnc lathe runs on a laptop with Windows 3 on it, but hey, fine

#ifndef rant
if(devRant.versionType == versionType.development) {
bugCount = 0;
feedType =feedType.smooth;
startupTriesRequired =1;
worksWithVPN =true;
}
#endif