I’m so impressed how well this little console can run L.A. Noire. It’s just unbelievable

"If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original." - Sir Ken Robinson

My biggest dev sin is not writing any unit tests for devRant :/

Guess who's opening porn files without delays.

2017 ends in just days. 2018 picks up where it left. What new skill would you like to add to your hat?

At introduction of new class teacher asked which _one_ of the following isn't a programming language:
- Swift
- Pseudocode
- Haskell
- HTML

Took my chance on HTML, but apperantly pseudocode is less of a programming language according to him.

Poopy function in Swift

My life as an ios developper

Trying to teach coding to a kid:
Kid: Can you teach me XCode?
Me: No but I can teach you Swift or Objective-C
Kid: But I want to learn to code in XCode
Me: Yes you will code in XCode but I will teach you swift
Kid: My dad said that you actually know how to code but apparently not.

Oh Swift why

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

Chuck Norris does not rant... But his code does, indeed.

"History is never made by those who use incognito browser"

~ William Shakespeare.

Who is repping devrant in the airport

Internet... ..

Googles how to fix the notification delay.

1 hr later.........

At YouTube looking at a video of how to give mouth to mouth to a fish 😮

How to identify an Android developer?

What's your internet speed? 😀

Swift, oh my god, why do you have to be like this?

I'm looking to write a simple for loop like this one in java

for(int i = 5; i > 0; i--) {
// do shit
}

Thats it, simple, go from 5 to 1 (inclusive), I saw that to iterate over a range in a for loop (increasing ordeR) I can do this

for i in 0...5 {
// do shit.
}

So I thought maybe I could do this to go in reverse (which seems logical when you think about it doesn't it?)

for i in 5..<0 {
// do shit
}

But no, this compiles FINE (THIS IS THE FUCKING KICKER IT COMPILES), alright, when you the code runs you get a fucking exception that crashes the mother fucking application, and you know what the problem is?? This dogshit, shitStain of a language doesn't like it when integer that the for loop starts with is larger than the integer that the for loop ends with MOTHERFUCKER ATLEAST TELL ME THAT AT COMPILE TIME AS A MOTHERFUCKING WARNING YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!

Alright *deep breathing*, now we can't just be stuck on this raging, we're developers need to move forward, so I google this, "Swift for loop in reverse" fair enough I get a straight forward answer that tells me to use the `stride` functionality. The relevant code for it

for i in stride(from:5 to:1 by:-1) {
// do shit
}

Wow looks fine and simple right?? (looks like god damn any other language if you ask me, no innovations here piece of shit apple!) WRONG BITCHES !!! In the latest version of Swift THE FUCKING DEVELOPERS DECIDED TO REMOVE STRIDE ALTOGETHER, WITHOUT ADDING IN A GOOD REPLACEMENT FOR THAT SHIT!

Alright NOW IM FUCKING MAD, I got rage on stackoverflow chat, a guy who's been working on ios for quite a while comes up n says and I quote
"I can sort of figure it out, but besides that, iterating in reverse is uncommon enough that it probably hasn't crossed anyone's mind."

Now hope you guys understand my frustration, and send me cookies to calm me down.

Thank you for listening to me !

The new iPhone 7 comes out on August. If you want to have a sneak peek at the new iPhone. Take a look at the your current iPhone and pretend it costs 200 dollars more.

Anyone else developed a habit to structure verbal allday Argumentations in your head in Code syntax? Helps me alot to follow ones logic. Except when I'm arguing with my girlfriend. Sometimes setMood(angry) gets randomly called (bug?) and then every if statement seems to be valid, eventhough it should return false. An inputstream that contains my outputstream is initialized but .readLine() is never being called. Instead, the outputstream to my inputstream is being overly abused. Once we get dive deeper into our if-statement we will find a while loop with a mysterious flag. Noone knows it's origin. The while loop keeps printing out random concatenated strings until it overflows your own capacity. I would have said its while(true) but in fact there must be a timer in another very hidden thread or something that sets our flag to false. The other and only way I know to exit that loop is to call apology() 100 times (maybe a variable sets the boolean that could be deeply buried in her projectstructure like this CONST.VALUES.getMood().getRealMood().getTrueMood().TRUTHCONTAINER.angryMode=true)..
I wish I could get a stressball so I can continue theorycrafting and debugging. Its 4.30 am now, my better side is snoozing next to me. I bet making this a pseudocode would be fun.

Ps: I love my lady but I had to rent

RECURSION

I started my first job with no degree and no real experience. It was a sink or swim kind of place. Six months in, I was working on a bunch of projects independently, then they hired a new junior developer, and told me it was my job to mentor him.

a lot of the time I knew what to do to get the job done, but I didn't know why. He always asked why... Learning something is one thing, teaching it is another. This guy was the best co-worker I've ever had because he pushed me to be much better while we learned together.

i have been fortunate enough to always work with awesome people.

both jobs I have had after college had almost no supervision, and I could come and go as I pleased.

I am a professional, and I loved being treated as one. I don't take advantage of my work, and they don't take advantage of me.

Best co-worker? One of my team who was cut from the same cloth. I could ask him to do anything without giving a how-to. I could then carry on with my work knowing he would deliver on time and at least as good as I would have done. We've been mates ever since.

Got promoted to senior software engineer today! :D

Call with recruiter:
me: I'm an Android Developer.
recruiter: Great. So you use Angular and React at work?
me: ???

Your mama's so FAT she can't save files bigger than 4GB.

Happy new Date().getYear() + 1; to me!

Acceptance

*Sits down at restaurant*
*orders food*

Me: opens devRant
Wife: "You're always on your phone. You're supposed to pay attention to me."
Me: puts phone down. "What would you like to talk about?"
Wife: "...I don't know"

*sits in silence for a minute*

Me: opens devRant