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Aboutambition is the looser's last refuge
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Skillsgeneralist: can fuck up everything
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Joined devRant on 11/3/2019
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My company employed a new back-end guy from a random country in Africa (our first non-european). After firing the internal IT guy a year ago, they have now noticed that he has fully protected our company from login attempts outside of europe. The replacement has no idea how to revert it and honestly is not an system administrator.
Our DevOps guy knows how to solve it but nobody asked him and he cannot be arsed.8 -
My job is introducing a new system to (legally) avoid some taxes for the employees and get then more netto compensation. But in the meantime, they have removed all benefits of having a (free) home office. No free screens, no free chair, no free keyboard/mouse, ...3
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We hired a new developer and our manager (that was not involved in the hiring process) is impressed he actually manages to boot up his computer.
He spend a full 3 days trying to install python, not even setting up our own applications.... Just python...3 -
A manager is remote working for 2-3 months and had a wedding in a different country (including his honeymoon so PTO). After his PTO, today, the HR wanted to do a welcome-back breakfast for him but he is still in a different country for multiple weeks.
How did they not ask him when he is back -
Recently our devOps grew and the PM decided to split the dailies... Somehow, our dailies now last longer before the split when there are 1/2 of members present....
30 min daily with 12 people becomes a 50 min daily with 6 people... HOW1 -
We hired a new project manager and he decided that we should document our whole platform which was very lacking.
But now, for every minor feature/rework, he expects that it should also be documented. Currently, it feels we have too much documentation that is not easily searchable... Half our time is maintaining Jira and the other 40% is maintaining the code and 10% is developing new features....
Is there a thing as too much documentation?9 -
TIL that the CEO sends cringy videos to the customers but cmon, can you not have the title "Efficiency in your pants"5
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What is the weirdest shit you have seen in a daily stand-up?
I've just seen a baby horse being born on the daily stand-up.9 -
Last saturday, the CEO forced us to update one of the services that we are dependent out without any tests... The people responsible for it very much advised against it but they still did it.
Now, nearly a week later. The literal core feature is still broken with no fix in sight and rolling back is not possible apparently.1 -
Last saturday, the CEO forced us to update one of the services that we are dependent out without any tests... The people responsible for it very much advised against it but they still did it.
Now, nearly a week later. The literal core feature is still broken with no fix in sight and rolling back is not possible apparently.5 -
Monday is already going. I got the news a coworker is fired for selling company data.
What a shitshow this company is and how does it still exists2 -
Yay, our 2FA of our accounts for the stores are linked to the phone number of the CTO who has left the company10
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Debugging an assertion for hours that keeps failing on 19 == 20 , and you just cannot figure out why it returns 20, until you realize that it in fact returns 19 and the constant in the test case that you screwed up at the start reads 20.7
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!rant
“Are you drinking my soda?”
“Statute of limitations!”
“Did you know in some countries there’s a statute of limitations on murder?”
“And?”
“And that means sometimes it can run out.”
“And?”
“And that means you can’t be tried for the crime.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“What? No. Why?”
*gestures at soda* “You literally told me that after I took your soda.”
“Oh! Shit. You mentioned statute of limitations, _that_ was the connection, it wasn’t a response to you stealing my soda.”
“You looked me right in the eye and told me that some countries have a statute of limitations on murder.”
“I looked you in the eye because we were having a conversation!”2 -
User: - The application throws an errror message.
Me: - The error message is caused by a minor bug that doesn't affect functionality, though. This is an old solution that is in the pipe to be redesigned from scratch. As this function is rarely used, perhaps you can live with this cosmetic bug for a couple more months?
User (one week later): - I haven't got any answer from you. How is this issue proceeding?2 -
Every time I see this my heart starts beating like crazy, I'm filled with joy and hope and I feel like living my life right. Like in the Christmas morning.
Usually, this feeling lasts until I click on the notification. After clicking on it all these feelings are usually replaced with despair, frustration and sometimes even anger.7 -
It's almost weekend!
But wait! My colleague just changed some code in the production environment. Whoop! Guess what! It's broken now
Fuck you, stop bothering me. I have to celebrate weekend with non-existing friends.11 -
Doing compulsory cyber security training and it's like "if you click a malicious link report it to the IT helpdesk" I and I click agree knowing full well the closest thing to IT we have is me...2
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My dumbass fucked up a good interview by looking down on the company I was interviewing for unintentionally (:
They outsourced the "core" finance code to a 3rd party B2B provider and I was like "oooooooooh so y'all are only a wrapper? That explains why you didnt do super-crazy background check on me hahaha"
I ended up sounding suspicious af :'v10 -
The only person responsible for the server maintenance has put in his resignation period in.
The other person that has access to the servers does not know the difference between production & lab.
Fun times ahead11 -
I really really really need more RAM. 16GB is far from enough. Had to witness the kernel kill all of my Chrome extensions and most of my tabs and an IDE and still it wasn't able to run that container in the 8G RAM it just freed up...
I remember the days when 8G RAM was an overkill.
The times have changed. Now I'm looking into getting a Linux lappy w/ 96GB and still worried whether it'll suffice my needs....11 -
So I just had this job interview with a "startup" (side note: who the fuck still calls limping companies "startups" in 2024? That is sooooo 2010s).
There was this tattooed and very pale girl (you just know the vibe), the mandatory Norse bearded tall guy and the balding, "I'm-in-my-fifties-but-I-am-not-a-square, maaan" sleasy-looking white guy in a button up shirt but no suit jacket. The whole stereotypes gang came looking for their missing nerdy Indian.
The sleasy bloke goes on and on on a looong tirade on how they're "a tech innovation academy", how they "move fast and break things" and they "run smoking hot", so that "long nights are to be expected".
So, they usual red-flagging shit.
Then they all went on a "but we're not like all those companies that look exactly like us" word salad about "sustainability and a healthy work life balance", with their "highest value" being "the utmost respect at all times". I'm nodding my head at the meaningless splurge until they fart out the sentence "for example, cussing while talking with colleagues is a fireable offence".
If some hustling enterprise rather prefers a posh working environment, one can adapt to such circumstances. Provided, of course, that said enterprise adheres to the administrative coherence expected from a culturally refined institution. Mostly by compliance, from the leadership, to a rigidly predictable working schedule.
Now, if the bloody curs want coder dogs that work assfucking hours with a shit eating grin, they better swallow our fucking sailor mouths. Fuck, I've done twenty hour shifts getting my ass kicked in dark startup fisting/rush rooms. If unable to yell at any blabbering cocksucker to go stick his fucking opinions up the bitch who crapped him, then I ain't gonna bloody be there.
TL;DR they can either have a "utmost respect" working environment XOR a "fast and hot" daily hustle.
After they crapped out that oxymoron I could barely hold myself to avoid saying "sorry, I do not partake in any of the psychedelics you must be on".
On to the next interviews!7