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-
Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!
20 -
We will no longer be accepting contracts which have an internet explorer or edge support requirement.
All of the front end devs are going hysterical and celebrating 😂 🎉🎉20 -
Got a couple laughs at an interview for the software listed in my resume:
"Sublime Text 3 (unregistered)"
😉20 -
I think I just broke the (only) USB C port on my MacBook so I’m racing to push about 30 git repos before the battery dies forever
27 -
A client who I freelance for just asked if they could invest in one of my side projects.
This is the best day of my programming career 😊9 -
Put headphones on when I got to work at 7:30am.. it's 3:10pm and I just realised I never started playing music 😑9
-
Just saw an ad:
"I learned to code in 2 months thanks to X School and now I'm working at Google!"
Seems like now is the right time to dump your Google stocks.3 -
She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉3 -
Holy crap, just consulted with a company who wanted to fire the entire 6 person backend team because:
"They don't produce any tangible work or add value to the company."
Initially I didn't catch on, went to chat with the devs and realised the dilemma. Took 3 hours of (almost heated) debate before the higher ups understood the the value and purpose of backend devs.
This is a kitchen appliance company who recently moved into IoT 🙃11 -
Fucked up an sql join once and accidentally deleted myself from the employee table in the prod database. So I kinda fired myself... Good thing we had backups. 😂2
-
Why is this CSS not updating???
Ctrl + F5
Still!!!
Let's check in incognito..
F*CK, really!!!!
.... Ooooooh right I'm checking prod not dev.9 -
Expectation: arrive at work, everyone in awe of devrant swag, social status++
Reality: arrive at work, prod failing, get blamed, employment status--
7 -
Just had a JS guy try some Visual Basic, learning about types.. finally he got the error:
Stackoverflow: (...)
His response:
"Oh! Like the website! That's so cool! Hey Brod, look what I did! 😀"
It was the cutest reaction I've ever seen to a error.2 -
Found a pretty cool company asking for job applications via POST request 😎
..almost incorrectly formatted my JSON 😅10 -
Do any of you guys or gals sit outside and code?
Since 2009 this has been my primary work place (even in the cold and rain), I go to the office for mostly non-coding work and have a pc inside for serious sessions but I'd say 80% of my heads down dev time is spent sitting here. A little quirk is when people call or Skype me they'll immediately say "I can hear birds in the background, where are you??".
Anyway, I'm moving soon and thought I should share while I still can ☺️
21 -
At the Apple Store in my devRant hoodie and got noticed by an employee..
Her: what's your username?
Me: brod 😬, what's yours?
Her: julia! Have you seen the new MacBook Pro?
...
Turns out, there's no @julia, now I have a $2,800 MacBook that I didn't need (nope, not the pro, just the shit one).53 -
my team: "lets get rid of materialize it doesnt work too well w/ react"
my team: *deletes materialize*
my team: *accidentally pushes to prod*
me: "guys why are we back in 2003"
19 -
Friend: pls come out on my yacht, you can work from there..
Me: what about power and wifi?
Friend: it has 240v and 4G
Me: 😦😁
7 -
Jingle bells,
Batman smells,
Don't push to prod today!
But if you do,
Make sure you
Test it all the way!
Happy holidays, y'all!4 -
Someone called me an incapable, arrogant bitch today because I didn't let them test in prod. We had words.
The monologue from Full Metal Jacket went through my head at one point, and I almost didn't mute my phone in time before I said it rather than just thinking it. I'm not sure I would still have a job if I did, but I kind of wish I didn't mute my phone.13 -
Just got asked "How much experience do you have with the current JavaScript standards? I'm talking ES6 and ES7" in an interview with what I assumed were technical people.
I chuckled and said "I'm comfortable with ES8" as a joke but everyone just nodded and moved on..7 -
5th June is World "Environment" Day..
Reaction of Software Engineer -
Which one? Dev, Test or Prod?
😂😂4 -
Fucking useless languages that compile into other languages but provide no real benefit other than some trendy syntax crap.14
-
Co Worker: "Your computer is missing a mouse!"
Me: "I require less dependencies to use a computer"
BBUUUURRRRNN10 -
Just reduced 900 lines of horrible code into 106 lines of less horrible code..
QA: do those 106loc really do what the 900loc did ?
Me: yes
QA: really?
Me: yes
QA: are you sure?
Me: NO. I was lying. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe you should run it and find out.
QA: *immediately releases for prod*3 -
Got some good news today, Australia's PM (Malcolm Turnbull) doesn't want a backdoor in encryption! All he just wants is "support" from companies to "access" their users encrypted data.
See the difference?
I don't 😒14 -
Got some customers not paying their bills?
Play russian roulette with these projects on the prod. server:
# [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf /<path_to_project> || echo "*click*"9 -
PM: Hey Brod, I know your really busy refactoring to ES6 but I think our Ruby app broke, could you fix it?..
Me: Ask Tom, he's the only one here who knows ruby he wrote the app..
PM: I didn't want to interrupt his Skype call.
Me: he's not on Skype, that's his face, he's taking snapchats.
PM: oh, well I don't want to really interrupt that either.
SAY YOU HATE ME. JUST SAY IT.8 -
I’m hopelessly brand loyal at times but after a day with Vim I’ve decided to jump ship. Ciao sublime ✌️
34 -
> gets rejected from upwork
> builds alternative to upwork
> gets funded by old client who uses upwork
> origin story complete
17 -
1. Connect your laptop to prod-vpn
2. Open SQL Server Management Studio for debugging
3. Walk away
4. Find your 3 year old at your laptop
5. Panic.
6. Thank Microsoft for locking the screen when the laptop sleeps.
15 -
Writing customer passwords fulltext into the prod database because "it's easier to associate them with the user"5
-
Hello! I am Johnny Knoxville and tonight on Jackass...we test in prod with no back out plan in place...and then I will glue Bam's hand to his dick while he's sleeping.6
-
Started a new job. Love the people. Love the place. Files are still moved to prod by hand via windows explorer to prod web servers 😳10
-
*curl [PROD-SERVER-IP]*
Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
Failed to connect: timed out
*Heart drops out of anus*
*Reaches for panic button*8 -
Didnt expect a reputable bank to do testing in this manner. Damn you Axis Bank, your system is supposed to be the best. Smh. 😩
1 -
Kudos to the devrant team for epic response time!
<50min from bug report on Twitter to workaround on prod!2 -
PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏
2 -
It's really fascinating how managers can act surprised over a critical prod issue especially after the whole dev department warned them repeatedly.3
-
Lead Dev: Just use jQuery, it'll save us from adding a whole new directive in Angular.
Me: 🤦♂️
Coworker: 🤦♀️10 -
Just got a brand new car coming from a 1999 Honda CRV and holy shit the tech in these things is insane.. basically drives itself on HWY's, can start it from an app, does all sorts of weird stuff.. obviously it comes with risks of being hacked and all that but damn new cars are wicked these days.
8 -
Sent HTML to google translate server side to support multiple languages.. actually worked pretty well but it made me feel dirty for weeks.1
-
Our PM found a contractor, results as expected..
Contractor: "The file you supplied is corrupt, some areas are greyed out and damaged"
Me: "😐, do you mean the comments?"
Contractor: "I'm not sure what you mean 'the comments'"
Me: "Does the file work as expected?"
Contractor: "Yes"
Me: "Strange! I'll have a chat with our PM and get this issue resolved right away 😉"
...
if(!contractor) {
return Promise.resolve()
}1 -
"Start at 4am" .. they said
"Nothing will go wrong" .. they said
WELL YOUR COFFEE MACHINE IS BROKEN AND THE MAINTENANCE GUYS GET HERE AT 7 😡4 -
That moment when you make a bug fix on your local dev deployment and keep refreshing PROD web page hoping to reflect the change.2
-
So excerpt from a conversation I had with my boss today. Enough of a rant that I figured I’d share it. So <x> is our most junior developer. When he was hired I was pretty happy because he seemed willing to learn (but knew nothing). Now, not so much.
I’ve been setting up our servers recently and have been giving the developers, etc accounts to the server. I gotta make <x> an account to the server. Seems dangerous. I’ve also been sending announcements to the team on slack for them all to read about how everything we’re going to use works. <x> has decided to pass on reading it all, and instead just ask me how it all works (cause this stuff is so simple, anyone can do it). I think you’ll get the idea.
package main;
import(
“fmt”
)
Func PrintRant() {
fmt.Println(
...
Just pisses me off, because <x> is already behind and his unwillingness to read about things is slowing me down. I honestly don't want to give him ssh access [to our dev servers and prod] of any kind. He's like, can we get this going faster, I gotta get stuff done, like he just thinks he can connect and get right to work. Which I know he can't, because he was having trouble on windows. He was having issues in his own windows command prompt, which, compared to bash and the server, is like learning to ride a bike with training wheels and then getting on a racing motorcycle on the freeway, where one mistake can mess up everything. He had issues with ssh-keygen (and many before that). The prompt literally read, "Specify the folder you would like the key to be stored in (/path/to/file): and he just 'closed the prompt' because he didn't know what it meant. Fricking really? The he's asking where to run this command, and I say "Git bash, `$ ssh-keygen`" and he's like, 'won't work.' What won't work?
*sends screenshot*
I tell him about where to put it
He answers a question and I just get tired, so I say to hit enter 3 times. "Ohhhh"
And then I tell him to give me id_rsa.pub and he just up and sends me his private key because it was too much work to look at all the files. Then I say I gotta go because I have stuff to do, and he's all annoyed because he needs to get his work done! It's too much work to set up a private testing server! (or he has no clue how, which is probably the case, and won't learn how, because screw Photon, he's just a dumbass anyways!)
…
)
}
Somebody implement punch over ip (poip). Sometimes I think I’d ddos someone with it.7 -
# 3 weeks ago
customer informed us that the app will get quite some load since the beginning of July
# this monday
last spare hdd on database's SAN died.
I told everyone another hdd is to follow it very soon eithet whether nothing is done at all or if anyone attempts to touch the san array [cuz that's what redundant raids do...]. No fucks given by anyone, no attempts to have maintenance and planned outage within 24 hrs....
# this morning
another hdd has failed and now 1tb of data is lost. No way to restore backups cuz there is no database to restore them to....
# 20 minutes later I head out to get some popcorn. It's gonna be a fun week!
So... The planned heavy load [and revenue along with it] is not gonna happen... I guess they are gonna ha a week long outage.
That's what happens when you ignore warning shots fired at your face.2 -
any hardcore peeps like this? :P
gotta commit b4 I do anything..
gotta push b4 I do anything..
gotta deploy to prod b4 I do anything..
God! kill me already 😭😭😭😭
5 -
Client wanted to add "password usability" features such as:
Password1 === pASSWORD1
Him: Facebook and Google do it
Me: You're not Facebook or Google
Him: Well sure, not without this feature
Me: 🤔11 -
Rant, but also want to know, how the fuck do you accidentally drop a database link. In production. On the most important database. Housing our biggest applications.8
-
Making an infinite loop of cat /dev/urandom for anyone trying to login to server via ssh as an April Fool...
But on prod server instead of dev server...3 -
Was in a meeting today with a team I just joined, I asked what they used to write tests.. they said they don't write tests because no one would see them..
This is crazy right?9 -
Hi guys, 2 hours ago I accidently deleted my prod server. Luckily I was using a slightly older db on my pc. (Dont have prod daily backup 😔) Still recovering. Please wish me luck.7
-
Just got made redundant 😒
Anyone need a web dev in Melbourne?
I have desirable skills such as working myself out of a job..9 -
I'm a web application developer and work for an abattoir.
On slow days I sometimes I go out and pick a cow, give it name, scan its ear/rfid tag, lookup what farm it came from and how much it cost, then monitor it passing through the various production lines.
Yup.4 -
PayPal.
Found a nice method that does what you want? DEPRECATED.
Finally got that adaptive payment workflow all figured out? BREAKING CHANGES.
Want to use that new feature with your langs library? UNSUPPORTED.
Braintree isn't much better.8 -
I got in an argument with a co worker, she says that mass surveillance programs are "none of my business" and I shouldn't care how they operate.
ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO GOOGLE IT IS MY BUSINESS.
2 -
Any commbank developers in here wanna fix your stupid car loan application process where I need to know the VIN number of a car that isn't even built yet?
3 -
When migrating from MySQL server to MariaDB and having a query start returning a completely different result set then what was expected purely because MariaDB corrected a bug with sub selects being sorted.
It took several days to identify all that was needed on that sub select was “limit 1” to get that thing to return the correct data, felt like an idiot for only having to do 7 character commit 😆4 -
This snippet was found in Thanos’ bash history:
```
ps Sh | sort -R | awk 'NR % 2 {print $1}' | xargs sudo kill -9
``` -
@dfox @trogus Was there any discussion about not displaying usernames within the feed? (eg, "posted by brod")
I reckon it's one of the best _features_ devRant has.7 -
"Eh, just push it to prod and see if anything breaks"
The entire system went down for hours, estimated loss north of $1M.5 -
Me: "I try to keep it under 400 watchers unless there's a really good reason"
Them: "Oh yeah, cool. So what's a watcher?"
Me: 😦
3 -
I just got asked to print out last weeks production data in the "pristine squiggly brackets format".
😐
WHAT DO YOU MEEEEAAAANNN!4 -
One day after the release of the website of a medium sized travel company, I made a big mistake by accidentally taking it offline for 1 hour during peak usage (~150 simultaneous visitors).
Turns out deleting the wrong image transformation cache folder in production can hang up the PHP process for taking too much load on regenerating image transformations.
The designer of PHP probably took a big load too while creating the first draft.9 -
Programming music:
scarlxrd - HeartAttack
https://soundcloud.com/scarlxrd/...
scarlxrd - BANE
https://soundcloud.com/scarlxrd/...
xxxtentacion - look at me! https://soundcloud.com/rojasonthebe...
xxxtentacion - #IMSippinTeaInYoHood
https://soundcloud.com/veronica-mar...
These 4 songs suffice me.
Sub-genre is TRAPMETAL12 -
— Filezilla *open prod ftp*
— right click a file *edit*
— edit the file, save,
— filezilla *save new file*1 -
Apple has the best UX:
"Type your password followed by the verification code shown on your other devices"
4 -
That time I thought I crashed a prod server which I had no access to physically turn it back on. Turned out it was doing its weekly reboot. Scary 3 minutes.
-
Typos kill, kids! And deploying to production.
Instead of "for item in items" in my script, I accidentally did "for items in items". Thus, an exponential loop has been entering things into the database for the past few hours before I found the place to fix it.
By the way, this runs on cron every minute. So there are processes still running exponentially right now, possibly 180+.
Yeah, I'm setting up a a test server instead now.11 -
Did a code test at an interview, had to aggregate data from a db. They stored cities with population count and users referenced cities.. 6 cities had a higher user count than population 🤔
They were a little taken back and suggested the population data must be outdated 😉.. it got a bit awkward1 -
Never update prod stuff on a Friday afternoon.
After the team lunch.
With cheese fondue and white wine.1 -
This whole week I’ve been writing Java (for the first time) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s a horrible language, written by horrible people, for the purpose of making other people’s lives horrible.
Fuck Java 🙂11 -
4:55: Everything looks good in prod.
4:56: Deploy new feature after all is well in Dev.
4:57: Prod goes to shit!
4:58: Call wife to tell her I'm not coming home at 5.
4:59: Prod looks fine w/o anyone doing anything.
5:00: Leave work.
5:25: Get yelled at by wife for leaving at 5 after telling her I couldn't.3 -
Tech Dept set all company phones to the same iCloud account and didn't turn off iMessage..
Boss + HR + random works all just realised they'd been sharing messages.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉4 -
Fuckin hell, do not ever force disconnect people from (poduction) servers, especially if there is a scheduled upgrade in the middle of a busy working day & you have a very small window for updates!! 😠😠😠
ID10T errors all over da place 😒3 -
Happiness is when manager appreciates your work and says there are very few crashes on prod now... That feeling 😎2
-
Never used Gradle before but first impression is it's absolutely trash.
What used to take a couple dozen milliseconds now takes hundreds of THOUSANDS of milliseconds..
15 -
@dfox & @trogus
Any thoughts on allowing people to buy their avatars (and others) as stickers? I understand I can just download the pic and get my own made but a built in feature would be cool - it'd be a nice way to say "hey! I really like your rants!"
Just throwing it out there 🙂4 -
When the company spamming is also the service provider but fails to gracefully handle requests on their service 😒
6 -
Discovered yesterday that my boss does tests with production database... and I'm responsible for the fucking backups and he doesn't even care to let me now when so I can at least schedule one at slave. Come on... it's not that hard to let others know or test on your own machine...1
-
God Apple, why tf does the Fill Screen / Fit Screen button only turn bright / change glyph sometimes ☹️
5 -
This is deployed on PROD(!) from my Senior Dev's app. Have I told you devs how much I hate this guy already?
7 -
Guess who just ran a script on prod to hot-swap image providers for all the images in our app :D
(PS: It worked)1 -
Anyone else been lightly formatting rants and comments with **markdown** hoping for it to be implemented?
_I know I have_1 -
Leading a team of 10 people, 5 environments (3 non prod 2 prod) to support, 25 formal deployments per week, and all I have is one fucking repository in fucking svn.
-
Merry Christmas to all the dev ranters out there. My thoughts go out to those on call. May prod never fail and your phone never ring.
-
A primary investor in the company I work for drops by every few days and always smokes cigars in the coffee room and shuts the door..
My coffee and his cigar routines have never collided before today, I'm now trying to figure out the lowest impact server or utility I can shutdown that will cause enough panic to get him out.2 -
I need help, my site said it's full so I have deleted everything in the media library but now all the images have gone!
Yes, thats its purpose!
Thank fuck it's Friday! -
Been a long ass day, then some later afternoon prepush testing that went long and wrong which led into night - and after all was said and done we had to throw our hands up and say...
https://youtu.be/Qy-Y3HJNU_s
-
Designers use plugin in WP to modify UI. CSS and JS is saved (somewhere?) in database. No version control. Changes are made across different envs at the same time and all need to be migrates to prod later.
Pls2 -
Right now, I'm tracing a bug that causes some of our data to be lost.
and I found a table with 'xxx' field on it. ohhh. what is it for?19 -
It’s Friday, YAY my week is over....Oh fuck someone wants to do a prod release today, I am so not looking forward to today.
-
I had 2 features I coded pushed to prod today at work! It's my first week at my new job. It made me realize how toxic and detrimental my last job was to both my self esteem and career. I'm so happy!!2
-
Accidentally killed the ssh deamon on the prod server. I meant to kill my local sshd but confused the terminal tabs :#
-
Instead of coffee to start your morning, try prod going down on Saturday! It will really get your blood pumping!2
-
Ideal dev job would be teaching kids code. Probably a side-gig at a local school.
Main gig would be writing code to exploit the "push to prod" Internet of Things things. Security on that is garbage. 🚮5 -
My first Project is finally ready to be deployed on prod server.... Nervous.... How u guys cope with this stress?11
-
Update Table_Name Set Column_Name = ‘New Value’;
Commit;
I did this on prod and my manager started screaming on me.
Is there any issue in it?5 -
Had to demo i18n working to client with 45m notice..
Google translate the whole page server side and pray CSS behaves.1 -
How bout instead of "Disrupting space-time continuum" or "Moving satellites into position" .. you just launch your crappy app.
15 -
My iPhone has two pages for apps, the main page and not the main page - none start on the main page and few ever make it. DevRant has made it to the main page 😊
8 -
Dealing with stubborn devs who don't understand why non prod apps shouldn't talk to production apps.2
-
That moment when you realize your team-mate pushes code to PROD on Friday evening
but you are the one on pager rotation over the weekend...
2 -
Admin home page secured well, but every CRUD page available without admin authentication on prod environment... for at least 3 weeks
-
"artificial intelligence !== conscious intelligence"
If the brain is just a biological computer that statement is incorrect right? 😟
Are _we_ the robots?4 -
Management has bequeathed that it shall hit prod tomorrow, the developers cry 'but it's not ready`. Hush little dev for tomorrow we hit another payment milestone
-
Wrote a small fix to some css and asked the production guy to pull it...
Prod: pull what?
Me: the prod branch.
Prod: from where?
Me: the only git server we have.
Prod: Oh yea let me go and download the zip, give me like 5 minutes I need to open chrome.
Me: (smh)
He's been unpacking copies of the prod branch by hand for months7 -
When a microservice you created does not perform on prod like it performed on the load stage. There goes my week and my self-esteem 😥2
-
When you raise a ticket with your support team that your prod server is currently down and they mark it as a medium request, like dude... seriously?! Get it sorted ASAP paleaaaaase4
-
Since I have seen a lot of people uploading this kind of stuff lately, here is Xiaomi's test in production, back in 2017 November...
1 -
Woke up 4am today to push my first iOS app. Took me three phucking hrs to realise apple is down! Their FUCKING dev stats website says all is green! Fuck u xcode1
-
Setupwars. Show off your epic coding zone setup.
Your biggest oh fuck moment as developer. "I dropped the prod DB"1 -
Can someone explain what's so wrong with CSS?
My only issue is you can't set media query variables - which is totally not an issue with cssnext or similar..4 -
Worst prod scenario experienced - on site in small African country working on CRM/billing system my colleague was testing some new SQL and after finishing decided to drop and recreate the DB. She thinks the process is very slow and suddenly realizes she is dropping the prod DB. In a panic she shuts down the system and starts doing a restore from tape, but is so stressed out she writes "tar cv" instead of "tar xv" and overwrites the backup with the broken DB. Took a while to clean that one up...2
-
Today I had my first ever prod db fuckup due to too wide where clause in delete query. Spent 8 hours restoring service. It's 02.09 now and I'm finally home, going to bed.
Interestingly enough I've enjoyed this experience... -
Working with Angular CLI be like:
-npm run ng : serve -> compilation successful
-aww yissssss...! :-)
-npm run build -prod
..............5 billion years later
-SYNTAX ERROR Motherf*****ker!!!!!!!!!!!! -
lets just wait till the day before deploy to finally authorize api testing for users outside of the network - and then get super upset when we aren't adjusted, prepared, and tested in time for next-day deployment
-
Biggest sin? Easy. Pushed directly to master branch and deployed to prod. I should mention it was something very small before I get crucified😂
-
So far? Not realizing my load balancer was not set up for sticky sessions... and since this load balancer only existed in prod not in qa or CAT o found out the night we went to install it into prod...1
-
In appraisal discussion,
Boss : Give me good reason why should we give you 30% appraisal!!!
Employee ( After logging into prod machine) : I am going to quit this job 😅😅 -
Alright. Email bug in prod, so I am running a development server on my machine connected to prod. Wish me luck :S
-
Angular2 rant..
It's in rc they said, write prod ready apps they said, it will be fun they said.. Arjziglfns.
just started rewriting for rc5 and modules, multiple declarations everywhere fml.
-_-7 -
Not sure what's better on Friday:
Fix the bugs and push it to prod so manager will be happy.
Or sit there like a dumb fuck and wait for Monday before touching the code2 -
just got off work,... ANOTHER DAY SPEND TRYING TO FIGURE SOMEONE ELSES PROD ISSUE....
Doesn't help when my PM's like did you figure it out yet, did you figure it out yet?
Why am I cleaning up other people's shit....1 -
Oooh I have quite a few,
My favourite: accidently left a log. Debug("bollocks") in a try catch this made it through testing and does (still) occasionally go into production log files.
Worst: wrote an interceptor for jboss with the intent of checking cache for some lookup data. I picked the wrong one of two similarly named methods and instead queried the database, I effectively wrote a denial of service utility into our app -
Last day at work: goodbye overnight sessions breeding over some arcane legacy code that blew up in prod or manually restoring dozens of backups because the customer continued to work while systems went down due to power failure.
Colleagues last commit message at that place: It just works (Friday 8pm then shipping the code to prod)2 -
Shoutout to any CommBank developers, I've been dreading going in to a branch to open an account - turns out it's only a 3 minute exercise using the website 😌👏 👏1
-
That awesome feeling when you launch your application on prod server....
*after 5 mins*
Customers start calling about dashboard not working.... -
Hotfix asap. Hotfix still in progress.
An ehancement that also needs the hotfix to be release at live in two days. One day for pre-live testing, and another for live testing.
I pray that nothing else will break.2 -
Realized I could of prevented an entire day of our team dealing with a prod issue that could've been quickly resolved if I had noticed the Support guy actually restarted the wrong server...
Prod Issue + Friday == BAD... My brain has already logged off as of this morning...
attention to details == 0
Assuming someone else will fix it/do things correctly == 100 -
5am now and trying to do a production deployment. It just failed because boss loves making un-approved changes to prod that change entire database schemas. Argh!!
-
"Okay, we'll try to explain again why you being able to execute your test cases against prod is a bad thing..."
-
Got through 4 hours of merge conflicts before pushing to prod... I imagine this is how doctors feel during an operation... #ef
-
Does anyone work on a bunch of local NPM modules wanna describe their workflow for local dev vs deploy?
I’ve got mine but it feels a little trashy. It’s basically one npm script to link all the local modules for dev and another which will npm install them in prod - is there a better way without adding more build tools?1 -
I haven't seen Gary Bernhardt's presentations linked in here yet, hopefully thats because everyones already seen them - but if you haven't, prepare yourself:
https://destroyallsoftware.com/talk...1 -
When you need input from your seniors to run a script in prod and none of them are comming in to work that day :(2
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Assigned mandatory online training... Finally got some time to do it from my busy week fixing a prod issue... But the training website is completely broken....
Just another reminder of why things always blow up around here
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Confession: a very important feature of the website I'm developping wasn't working for a certain time. The boss wasn't aware because he doesn't go on the site, and I only found out last week because I needed to implement a new feature that used the previous one. Problem: the bug was only on production, not on local (and of course we don't have test server).
I took advantage of the absence of my boss today to clear the situation by making all of my tests on prod. I hope no customer tried to pass a command today, but it's finally repaired. I am both proud and shameful.4 -
For a back-end, Java engineer, It's really sad when you are so bored at work that you get excited at the thought of designing SQL views/procs to make prod support easier.
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i once explored our codebase and copied every line of commented out code into a text file. that file is over 350 lines long.1
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You know that feeling you get when there is a bug in Prod and to identify the cause, you setup your dev environment with the exact same codebase as Prod. But the bug won't show it's ugly little mug in devo...
Yeah, Fucks me up too... -_-2 -
Just before deploying this to prod found this bug... discover this bug with bunch of print statements
7 -
Ran a query on a prod server for 50 minutes before realizing I forgot to put my exclusions in the results... Oops.... New query runs in 1.5min. 4500 rows from the potential 340k rows.2
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Pushing a project in production without as much problems as expected is a very, very good feeling.
Have a great Friday, fellow developers.1 -
Moving my baby into prod this morning. I find that the louder my headphones are, the less I can hear myself freaking out.
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People who freak out and think they have been hacked when you send a message to them on the prod server using the wall command should not be allowed SSH access.
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Question: can I describe OOP as "not in a loop, doesn't use interrupts" ?
I don't know much outside of OOP so describing it is like describing life, hard.9 -
did on my last project:
1 .Using QA env as dev env
2. Deploy in production not completely tested stuff (90% tested)
3. Run with errors in prod
4. Manual fix in prod
5. Git versioning1 -
FUCK EVERYONE right now. Stupid business with vague information, stupid dev team making SHITTY code. STUPID AUTO CORRECT TRYING TO CENSOR ME!1
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not me, but my co-workers left del logging active for about 6 months, then one day it became severely slow for finding free filenames to save into.
mine is DROP DATABASE in prod, after that i have been like I will never keep open console to prod -
"This service runs outside of k8s so it can only be accessed from other services in prod"
Yay... Don't you love it when things can't be run outside of prod... -
development progress is like chinese whispers; "we have encountered issues and will be delayed" becomes "we'll be ready to push to prod by COB" when it reaches the CTO. /facepalm
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I know it's a bit late from the official launch of iOS 11, but finally I get to have my hands on this. So, let's jump in and explore what's new.
11 -
I've just spent 4 hours trying to fix a bug on prod. that can be fixed in 30 secs. At the end I remembered that I should check the error log. FML (error reporting turned off, logs only)
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When you get an assignment by mail,
- you do those changes exactly as being asked, albeit one insignificant extra visual thing,
- you send back exactly what's changed (which is exactly what was being asked, but naming things as they are, clearer than I can ever explain changes),
- you go to the person that has assigned the very thing, explain it, he seems to get it,
...
Then.. a few hours later.. you get a reply via mail:
"Come explain what you're saying here, because I don't get it."
🤨 -
Realize the migrations of the technical base of application,
Go to the master branch of the git repository,
Open the pom.xml to get the last version of the app (running on prod) and see 0.0.1-SNAPSHOT
Lateral position of security and crying...1 -
- Change this, change that too, oh and that too.
* Ok, will do ( however unlikely it's going to be finished correctly, as you didn't consult me before or listen to me about the impact this might have )
- ( just stfu and do it )
Sometime at or after important cutoff:
- Hey this doesn't show up, is that right
* Yeah, you wanted too many things changed at once + fix it and notice a stupid error like an && switched with a ||, or other models that don't know about change x yet
/repeat3 -
How reliable or better freebsd is? I was thinking to use it in production server instead of ubuntu 16 LTS. I've heard it has pretty good networking stack and whatsapp uses it in their prod machines.6
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Was trying to figure out the seemingly unending line of scripts that call scripts scripts and I commented out the core functionality of a job in production. Stayed their for weeks. The script in question? Validates that correct data is loading from an etl job.
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Looks like someone has an itchy trigger finger when pushing to prod https://techcrunch.com/2016/09/...
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On pager duty. Getting alerts about New Relic synthetic monitors failing in prod. Freak out. Go to check them out...all of them are pointed at the uat sandbox, not prod.
I don't know how to feel about this. -
Ask a client to populate Dev and QA environments with Prod data. They also populated prod with the data two more times.
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Has anyone else noticed a trend this summer of os updates completely shafting servers? Just saved my 5th prod server and its getting fucking old
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String good =
"I'll never give up type systems!!"
+ " Do you hear me?!"
+ " Never!";
bad =
"Can't believe it made it all the way into prod."
% NaN + 3 / '11'
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