Details
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AboutContractor for a BigCorporateCompany, currently working on a project in another BigCorporateCompany. Kill me. (okay it's not THAT bad, but still)
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SkillsMainly Python, when I'm not forced to maintain awful PureBasic programs
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LocationParis
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Github
Joined devRant on 12/21/2016
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Whichever developer thought "hey I know what would be a good idea... Instead of reading an article on one page, let's have a slideshow..." should just die.
Man I fucking hate those slideshow websites that want you to click through twenty slides to read something.5 -
Dear WhatsApp developers,
GOD DAMNIT CHECK IF THE USER IS TYPING A (LONG) MESSAGE BEFORE BLOCKING AND ULTIMATELY CRASHING YOUR APP BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN BACKUPS.
Yours,
Everyone
P.S. First rant *yay*, feels good 😁5 -
Practice "garbage collector": relax by keeping your eyes closed for exactly 10 minutes when you feel tired (you won't fall asleep).
I usually do it once (after lunch) or twice a day (and mid afternoon).
Benefits are huge: just try it.7 -
Isn't it lovely when someone wants feature X and Y and one is five minutes (and mostly CSS) and the other one is hundreds of hours of backend code.
"I don't want to know, just make it happen. Jeez how hard can it be, it's just a new button"4 -
Ninety-ninety Law - Tom Cargill
"The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time."
A good list of laws found here (old but good read):
http://globalnerdy.com/2007/07/...2 -
Dev1: We need you to name this service
Dev2: Name it whatever
Dev1: You should name it
Dev2: Can we change it later?
Dev1: No
Dev2: Are you going to have dependencies on the name
Dev1: Yes
Dev2: Call it StupidDev1
Dev1: Ok we will name it1 -
I just had a client complaining on the phone that she read my database design documents and that they are all wrong and need to be done again. Because things like varchar and int are confusing. And nobody understands what they mean. She asked around and nobody understood it.
Ooh, and I should place the customer name in more then one table because it would be handy to have in several places.
Spend a hour on the phone trying to explain that these documents are not intended for her. They are not for her to understand.
I make these documents to build a stable product and in case something bad happens to me its easier to pick up for another developer.
Long story short.. I'm currently making a document that explains the database design... Getting paid for it..... But fucking hell. Somebody save me.10 -
string work_it, make_it, do_it, makes_us;
if(work_it=="harder") {
make_it="better";
if(make_it=="better") {
do_it="faster";
if(do_it=="faster") {
makes_us="stronger";
}}}3 -
Had to explain the difference between front and backend.
Restaurant:
Waiter == frontend
Cook == backend14 -
When I used to code I'd use the Pomodoro Technique.
It helps me get tasks done more quickly and efficiently when I know I only have to focus for 45 minutes and then I get a 15 minute break.
It also helps if you're stuck on something, because when you come back to it you have fresh eyes.
Also, music without any lyrics helps me focus better than music where someone is singing. Be it Mozart or dubstep, as long as there are no words I can work with it. 😂 (I highly recommend Instrumental Core)
Finally, my phone would be in a completely different room or in my desk drawer in DND mode. I set it up so that it only rings for certain people (parents, brother and boyfriend), so no-one can bug me while I work. It's fantastic. -
-You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
-What mood is that?
-Last-minute panic.5 -
I'm giving up alcohol for a month.
Wait that came out wrong.
I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month
Cred: instagram1 -
#RANT...
I can't believe I'm about to say this but I'm losing shit over Memes [insert facepalm] , but I can't be the only person they bug and if I am I need to know so here it goes...
I am specifically refering to the memes that enforce the stereotypes "I am a programmer, I have no life", and "I am a programmer hence I'm single". The fact many of us activley promote these sterotypes is beggining to bother me. Now I am internally conflicted becuase...
1. If you program a sense of humour is mandatory if you wish to remain sane.
2. I love memes.
I also recognise that everytime someone puts one of these stereotypes on a meme it is actually a diverstion so that we can have a laugh a ourselfs (enter the sense of humour unique to those experienced at debugging code). For that we all get a ++, but... I don't think we should be activley enforcing or supporting them - even if we do relate to them by spreading them they do more harm than good. Here are the reasons for my argument...
1. THEY ARE BS! - Im sure in the 80's when i guess they originated they had a more substantial backing but now they are completely irrelevant. Even If I discount the fact that I have never had a problem with woman, I'm not socially awkward and when I sit at my computer on a Saturday night I made a choice and blew someone off. Look around! It's the dawn of geek and we not only run most of the modern world, we are revered, respected, well paid and in high demand. Those stereotypes belong with the legacy code we refactured last year.
2. If they do apply to you and you are socially awkward, seemingly eternally single and find more solice in your computer than thought of interacting with strangers there is nothing wrong with you, so it's not a good joke. Unlike people and public enviroments we have complete control over our computers and unlike life we can logically explain what happened when we lose control of them, atleast thats why I live on mine. Aside from that we need all types of people in our society and the ones society classifies as weird funnily enough tend to be the most in demand and crucial because you guys are rare. I can't imagine life if I had to file papers every day for a living, if I had an in/out tray I'd kill myself or be too depressed to try but there is someone in my office who is happy to do it and I rely on that person to file my shit for me. We all have a place and regardless of job title were are all equally needed to keep this shit storm we inherited functioning.
3. It's fine to be anti-social. First off most off us spend the majority of out time either honing our skills or learning new ones, this is pretty much mandatory if you want to know what the hells going on in 6 months at the pace we're rolling out new tech. If were not doing that it's a safe bet that you are either fixing a service many of the "normal people (who are socializing)" rely on daily and don't even realise it (Again - A good thing - all the greatest inventions feel so logical and natural you cant believe they weren't there before. It's the ultimate trait of a good design) or your writing something that they are going to rely on in the future alternativley the experience your gaining will enable you to create such a thing in the future. Otherwise like me your unwinding playing a game possibly having bullshited a reason to stay home because you like your computer more than 98% of the people you meet. Fuck it - no ones perfect.
The thing with stereotypes is that even though statistically they will usually be correct, most people have no idea what a statistic is or how its calculated and for some fucked up reason when labeled alot of people tend to take them to heart treating it far more seriously it's statistical value would justify. Others will embrace it completely so they once again completely conform to society - even if its a different part of it. There are people following our posts who are either confused family members or kids trying absorbing our memes like a religion while dreaming of the day they get the joke because then will really be part of the community.
The majority of the people trying to learn to code have issues and arn't in a university. They are either in school and already feel outcast or they are in a job they hate and hoping to change it. 95% of them will never make it past hello world but for the 5% who do the last piece of information I would want to give them is one that knocks thier accomplishment.
Learning to code is the best thing that ever happened to me. If people did not to freely share thier knowledge I would still be fucked. No industry comes close to the way we share info and advice for everyones benefit or that can have 5 random people looking for a mistake in thier work online.
Personally I am proud to be a programmer, we all should be. Nothing can be gained by spreading a meme that devalues our acheivements and may offend the stranger who saved my ass on stackoverflow.6
















